Ancestral

Confession

Andi took my assurances with a grain of salt, but didn't press the matter.  She knew I needed to rest  she changed the direction of the conversation to focus on how she knew things had changed at the house. “It's not just that the house feels lighter, Helmut let slip something this morning that confirmed what I already suspected.”  She looked at the door to make sure no one was listening and lowered her voice.  “He was out of sorts at breakfast.  When I asked him what was the matter, he just said that he didn't get his usual wake up call.”  She paused for effect. “You and I both know what he means by that.  The spirits didn't wake him up at four like usual.  I was awake, of course, after all, the boys in the basement aren't the only spirits in the house, but they're obviously the only ones he's aware of.”

“Wait, there are other spirits in the house?”  My jaw dropped.  “Who?  Where?”

“That's not important right now,   What's important is that later, when the house was quiet he went down to the basement looking for them.  I just happened to be in the kitchen getting a drink when he stormed up the cellar stairs and slammed the door.  He caught himself when he saw me, but only for a second, then he said, 'No show for you this morning, Dammit!' and headed for the study.”  She looked at me quizzically, “Did he see us peek at him the other night?”

I chuckled, “Evidently, but I can't see how.  He was back to the stairs and we were careful not to make any noise.”  I thought about what she was saying.  “So you're telling me he went looking for some more fun with the boys in the basement and they weren't there?”

“Yes.  Since I don't usually feel them directly I can't say if it's unusual for them to be absent from the basement, but he acted as if he had a sure thing lined up and it fell through unexpectedly.”

“I'm sure that annoyed him no end.” I laughed again.

The doctor walked in at that point and confirmed that I would be staying the night.  He also said that if I continued to improve I could go home tomorrow.  After he left I began to fade.  I certainly didn't have my normal stamina.  Andi encouraged me to take another nap, picking her book up and allowing herself to get silently lost in its pages so I could sleep.

* * * 

I gradually awoke to a profound silence.  The beeping of the monitor was gone, and the sterile white walls of the brightly lit room were replaced with dusty stone walls, dimly lit by a single candle.  The room contained the bed, a small table that seemed to function as a desk, and a single ladder-back chair.  The candle was almost spent and I somehow knew I would need to leave soon.  Marcus stirred, rolling over and wrapping his naked body around mine.  He kissed the back of my neck and whispered a groggy, “It's not time yet,” while grinding his rapidly stiffening dick against my ass.  We hadn't made love yet.  We were working our way up to it.  He was still waiting for the perfect moment, and I was worried about ruining what we had by bringing sex into the mix.  

Tonight was the first time we had slept together naked.  We had been taking turns sneaking into each others' rooms to steal a few hours of intimacy in the middle of the night.  I always made sure to use circuitous routes through the forest, as I had the first night we secretly met.  Miss Beal knew of our arrangement and did what she could on the nights when he came to my room, but Miss Foster was a little too proper for us to even consider telling her about it.  Thankfully, Marcus was the only one with a room in the basement, and there was a secret entrance through the stables, that allowed me to enter and exit unseen.  His room had no windows and only the one door.  It was one of the old storage rooms that wasn't really needed now, so it had been emptied to give him a room as part of his pay when the private home became a public inn.  

The candle only offered a slight relief from the otherwise absolute blackness of the room.   A tiny draft caused the flame to move gently but steadily and made the objects on the table cast great flickering shadows along the walls.  The candle was too weak to reach into the corners, only illuminating those areas when a gust of wind outside caused the draft to disturb the flame more intensely.  I lay in his arms, contentedly watching the play of light on the uneven stone walls, when I thought I caught the faint outline of a small figure in one corner.  It was not alarming for some reason.  A small girl, maybe eight or ten years old in a long simple nightdress.  She didn't move, but seemed to be watching us.  I smiled at her and she seemed to smile back.  

As her face brightened with the smile, a particularly large draft disturbed the flame, sending the shadows dancing wildly throughout the room.  When they settled down she was gone.  I pulled Marcus's arms tighter around me, nestling my body against his.  It felt good to be held like this.  It felt safe.  Even with the appearance of the mysterious girl, I felt safer than I had ever felt in my life.  She seemed to just be saying hello, introducing herself to me.  I would ask Marcus about her in the morning, but for now, I let myself sink into the warmth and comfort of his embrace.  Even in this dismal dungeon of a room, I had found my paradise.

* * *

I once again heard the rhythmic pulse of the monitor and opened my eyes.  Andi had fallen asleep in the chair, her book on her lap, still in her limp hands.  The darkened window told me that the sun had set.  I must have slept for hours. My dinner was on the table that extended over my bed,  They must have brought it while I slept.  As I sat up to see if it was still hot, Ben walked in.  He looked better than he had this morning, but not quite himself yet.  “What are you doing back so soon?” I asked. “I didn't expect to see you until morning.”

he smiled a wan smile and said' “I got some sleep, I'm fine.”  He sat in the empty chair beside Andi, and the movement was enough to wake her up.

“Oh,” she looked up abruptly, “Oh, my, I must of dozed off.”  Looking around to get her bearings, she saw Ben and frowned.  “Young man, you should be home sleeping.” She was not one to mince words. “

“I'm fine,” he repeated without much conviction.

 “No you're not,” she began in her most matronly tone.  “You need...”

“I need to be here!”  His tone was absolute and clear.  There was no arguing with him

She and I were both astonished to hear him speak with such force.  She gave me a quick look and a wink. “Alright,” she conceded.  Then putting her book in her bag she got up.  She placed a gentle hand on the side of his face and said, “I'll leave you two alone.”  Turning to me she smiled and offered, “You look much better.  The sleep has been doing you good. I'm sure I'll see you back at the boarding house tomorrow.”  She walked out chuckling to herself.

We sat in silence for a minute or two until I finally said, “That wasn't ...she didn't deserve that.”

He looked at the floor.  “I know. I'll apologize to her in the morning.”

“And what about me?  When are you going to tell me what's wrong?”  

He looked up in anguish.  “I...I...”

“Just say something, anything, even if it's wrong.  We can figure it out if only you could...”

“I'm afraid,” he blurted out.

“Lots of people are afraid of ghosts, that's nothing to...”

“I'm not afraid of the ghosts,” he said looking into my eyes.  “I'm afraid of...I'm afraid it's not real.”

I didn't understand.  “What's not real?”

“It might be real, but it might be them.  I can't tell.”  He was pleading.  “I don't want to hurt you and I don't want to get hurt either, but it feels so real.”  He was getting himself upset again.

“What feels real?”

He didn't answer for a long time.  I waited as he worked up the nerve to say what he had to.  Finally he simply said, “That I love you.”

I didn't know what to say to this.  

He continued, “At least I think I love you, I can't tell if it's me or the ghost who has been following me,  He clearly loves the ghost inside you, so I can't tell if it's me or the ghost who is in love, and if it's you or the ghost in you that one of us is in love with.  And then you kept saying things like 'You don't have to do it again if you don't want to' and treating it a if we were just friends screwing around.”  He was practically in tears.  “I don't know what to think.”

I began to understand.  I turned my thoughts toward Sylas and told him that he and Marcus needed to leave the two of us alone for a while.  I asked them to return to the basement and stay there until we came in search of them.  I immediately felt a small lightening and a silence, as if a faint buzzing had stopped.  

Ben looked up surprised.  “What...What just happened?”

“You can sense their presence.  Are they here?  Either of them?”

“No.”

Do you know where they are?”

They're... Home, I think, in the basement?  I can't quite find them.”  He asked, “But how?”

“You can sense their presence, but I can hear their thoughts.  I simply asked them to leave us alone for a bit.”

He looked at me in awe.  “You can do that?”

“I guess so,” I laughed.  “I wasn't sure if they could hear me, but I gave it a try.  I'm as surprised as you.  Now, let's talk.”