Ancestral

Bliss

“Why did you send them away?”  His question was not accusatory, but genuinely curious.

“So you could have clarity.”  I patted the side of the bed, inviting him to come closer.  Once he was sitting next to me I took his hand and asked.  “How do you feel now?  Now that there are no ghosts here to confuse the matter.”

He hesitated, showing a shyness that was uncharacteristic for this playful confident young man.  

I continued,  “I have no such confusion.  My feelings for you have been growing ever since I first met you.  I have been hesitant to use the 'L' word because we have known each other for so short a time, and because you never seemed to return my feelings.  You would be playful, yes, but it always seemed to be nothing more than banter and shallow flirting.  I didn't want you to feel obligated...”

“I have never felt obligated.”  He paused, searching for the right approach.  “Do you know why I went home this weekend?”

“Not really, I mean, I had some thoughts, but...”

“I went home to come out to my parents.”

I was silent for a moment.  “They didn't know?”

“Of course they did...do,” he grinned.  “But we had never talked about it.  I had girlfriends in high school and I let my parents assume...I even got the contraceptive talk from my dad.  But the girls were only friends.  A few of them knew and kept my secret.  It wasn't until I came to college that I began feeling I could just, you know, be myself.”

“But why now?  Because of the ghosts?”

“No,” he hesitated again.  “I had already told them I was coming before we met the ghosts.  The ghosts were a complication, they just sort of got in the way.”

“So why had you decided to come out to them?”

He took a moment and caressed my hand, “Because of you.”

“Me?”

“I was falling in love with you, or at least I thought I was, and I needed to be honest with them before I did anything like announce I have a boyfriend or spring someone on them at Thanksgiving.  I was paving the way for a possible relationship.”

“But if you felt that strongly, why didn't you...You never even dropped a hint.  I had no idea.”

“I know.  I'm sorry.  I was mostly in the closet for so long I just got used to not showing my true feelings when I found someone interesting.  I was very careful not to stare or look for too long, and I got really good at keeping it on a 'bro' level even if I had the hots for the guy.  So many of my classmates were real jerks and even though I was bigger and stronger than most of them, I didn't want anyone laughing at me or calling me names behind my back.   The more I liked the guy the less I would allow it to show.  I guess I still do that.”

“Big time,” I chuckled, picking up his hand and kissing it.  “So what did your parents say?”

“Oh, ummm...I never got to it.”  he looked at me sheepishly.  “I was planning on doing it yesterday afternoon, but Maggie showed up and I went into panic mode.  I'm not even sure if they know why I left in such a hurry.”

“You should give them a call. They're probably worried.”

“I guess.  I've just been so confused and distracted...You're right, I'll call them later.”

“No, do it now, they've been waiting long enough.”

He nodded, pulling his phone out of his pocket.  “Ok, I guess you're right about that too.  I'll be back in a few.”  He went outside to call from the parking lot.  The building had enough steel and concrete in it to interfere with cell service.

While he was gone I had time to revisit my forgotten supper.  It was certainly cold by now, but I was famished.  The nurse came in to check on me just as I started eating, and seeing I was starting so late she asked, “Is it still warm?”

I just laughed and responded, “Yeah, like the arctic.”  She giggled and offered to warm it up for me after she checked my vitals.  When Ben returned he found me shoveling steaming hot food into my mouth with wild abandon.  

“Oh, yeah, I almost forgot.”  He opened the book bag he had brought with him and produced a plastic container with two pieces of cherry pie.  "Miss M. Made it just for you this afternoon.  It was still warm when I left.”

As we shared the pie I asked, “How were your parents?”

“Fine,” he said.  Then after a moment of silence he added, “I told them.”

“You...Over the phone?”

“I just needed to get it out of the way,”

“How'd they take it?”

“They already knew.  Just like I said.  Dad was stoic, and mom was sad I won't give her grand-kids.”

“You never know,” I joked.  “These days you might.”

“Oh, god!  Don't tell her that.  I'll never hear the end of it.”  It was good to hear a bit of his humor coming back.  We chattered and laughed as the evening wore on. Coming out to his parents seemed to allowed him to relax and be himself again.  

While we chatted about nothing in particular, I could see how much I had missed him, even if it was only for a day.  I finally began to tire and realized  needed some more sleep.  We had been allowing the silences to grow longer and longer, and when I knew I would soon be fading, I brought us back to the heart of the matter.  “So, now that you've had some time to think about it, and there are no ghosts here to get you all confused, how do you feel about us?”

He took a moment to consider, then he simply leaned forward and tenderly kissed me on the lips.  “Does that answer your question?”  

I smiled,  “Yes.”  I leaned forward and kissed him back.  “No obligation, just possibilities and hope. Sound good?”

“Sounds great,” he responded.

I held his gaze, unwilling to look away, but my body had other ideas.  “I'm fading,” I said.  “I think it's time for me to get some sleep.  You don't have to stay. They'll take good care of me here.”

“I know.”  He got up off the bed and moved toward his bag.  But instead of picking it up, he kicked off his shoes and tucked them under the chair.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“If you think I'm leaving you're not as smart as you look.”  He walked to my side and climbed onto the bed beside me, careful not to disturb the various tubes and wires attached to my arm.  “I need to be with you.  Is that a problem?”

“Not for me, but the nurse might...” the warmth of his body and the strength of his embrace stirred my passion, and I could feel the beginnings of an erection.  “You're going to give me a boner and all I have on is this flimsy johnny.”

“I've seen your night nurse.  He's definitely family.  He'll understand'”

The room grew quiet as we both began to drift toward sleep.  It felt so similar to the dream I had had earlier, the safety , the comfort, the love.  But this was Ben, not Marcus, and I was not Sylas.  I also knew that neither of them were influencing us at the moment.  So why did it feel so similar?  I had no answers and my need for sleep was stronger than my curiosity.  I surrendered myself to what I knew would be a sleep more peaceful than any I had had in a long time.  No visions or memories, and strong arms holding me in a loving embrace.  Not even the regular beeping of the monitor could disturb this evening of bliss.