Un-silent

I woke up the next morning. It was Sunday around 9 in the morning.

I was laying in Adam's bed. The sunlight peered into the bedroom ,through the blinds that were above the bed.

Last night I almost commited suicide. My mind completely broke down and The only thing I could think of to do.....was to just..jump.

I saw my mother yesterday, looking beautiful like always. But the words that came from her mouth weren't so beautiful.

(Who are you calling mom?)

The words sent an imaginary hammer to my head. Before I could even jump, Adam pulled me from the balcony, He pinned me to the living room floor yelling in my face, he had every right to yell at me, I was about to do the most selfish thing a human being could have done.

I was crying my eyes out on the floor last night and then I felt Adam pick me. His arms were so warm I felt like a lil kid in them, him being 6'3 weighing 215 pounds which was pure muscle and me 5'7 weighing 124 a feather.

He carried me all the way to his bed and pulled the covers over me.

Adam just sat in front of his bedroom door just watching me. I think he sat there just in case I wanted to attempt to do the unthinkable again.

I think he stayed in that sitting position all night and not only that...........

he.....saved me......Adam Griffin a guy i never associated with or even talked to..saved my life last night and carried me to his bed.

I felt terrible and stupid I couldnt believe last night could have been my last night.

I woke up just laying in his big comfy bed in his apartment I been staying here since Friday.

I turned my head to the right where his door was, Adam wasn't sitting on the floor anymore.

I then heard this .....THUMP THUMP THUMP

I slowly got up from his bed and walked to his bedroom door to open it.

I walked into his living room and turned my head to where the balcony was. Adam was punching the punching bag that was hung up on the balcony.

He didn't notice me he just kept punching the bag. Sweat was dripping from his forehead going down his body, it glistened in the sun. He punched the bag with some light jabs and then some harder ones. The look on his face was both concentration and anger.

I let out a deep breath and opened the balcony door.

He still didnt notice me.

"Um .....good morning."I said shyly to him trying to break the silence.

Adam just kept punching away at the bag.

I could see it in his face he was really angry.

"You.....want some breakfast..?" I asked him I really wanted him to say something but he still did't look at me or answered.

He kept punching away. The way his body moved was amazing his chest and abs moved with every punch it was pretty hard to look away from this extremely sexy guy. The look in his eyes was intense his usually calm green eyes seemed darker and focused.

"Uh I'm just going to make some pancakes that ok?"

Still no answer just the sound of punches.

"ok....breakfast will be ready in a few."

I closed the sliding doors behind me. I then went into the kitchen and cooked the pancakes.

After finishing the pancakes I slowly and nervously opened the sliding doors again, Adam was still punching away.

"Breakfast is ready." I said knowing what my answer was going to be.

..........THUMP..THUMP THUMP...

Yea just what I thought.

I just left the doors opened and ate alone at the table.

Adam came in a few minutes later grabbed the plate of pancakes I left for him and ate them in four bites.

He went to his room and closed the door.

He came out about 5 minutes later with some work clothes on, he was wearing a mechanics outfit. He didnt even look at me or acknowledge me.

He grabbed his car keys and left slamming the door loudly behind him. I shook from the sound.

He's really mad at me......like furious mad.

Like yesterday I cleaned up the apartment but this time it didnt take as long.

I decided to take a shower.

Showers are usually suppose to take the stress your feeling away but the shower didn't help much. As I stood there under the water, I thought about Adam. I still remember him standing by the door by Coach Rolands office and then hearing him talk for the first time. And how he said " Coach he can stay at my place." in that deep sexy voice of his.

Even at that moment I was thankful.

I've been the football teams manager since last year. Since I knew some of the guys from elemantary school they voted me to be the manager, since I was good at keeping everyone in order. I got to know alot of the guys and I grew fond of all 48 of them. But out of all the 48 Adam was the quietest he never said much and whenever I would see him speak it would be in unison with the whole team during exersises and stuff, I never heard his voice individually. Even though I'm gay I had enough respect for the guys to not spy on them while they were changing. Though I was tempted many time and I bet alot of you are thinking shiiiiit I would have looked, I didnt because they were all....like family I cared about all of them I've been there with them through the gains and losses. I wasn't athletic but I loved being near everyone and I never wanted that to change.

I remebered one time I was washing the uniforms for the guys in the locker room laundry. The guys all thought it would be funny to just throw their dirty jocks and uniforms in my face. They laughed it off and I kinda did too since I knew they meant no harm by it. after I put all the uniforms and jocks in the laundry, Adam came around the corner. All I said to him was "Oh hey Adam." He looked at me with his usual calm stare and unlike the other guys ,he neatly and respectfully handed me his uniform it was folded up nicely, he looked at me for another quick second and went back into the locker room.

I didn't think about it then but I was very happy that he had the respect to do that and not follow the guys in their inmature little games. Adam was never a follower he always did his own thing. He had an intimadating aura but he never bothered anyone. I dont know what it was but......I started to feel like.....I was blushing.

I even remember seeing Adam for the first time in middle school it was 8th grade year. Even then I thought he was cute but after awhile I never really payed much attention to him . Not until sophmore year, when I was nominated team manager, I was standing next to Coach Roland that was the day of tryouts and it was around 97 degrees outside, and I was blown away by Adam's performance. He had speed he had power he was running tank. I remebered that I was mezmorized by his athletic prowess and then I told coach. "Coach I think we have a winner." It took me awhile to realize that it was Adam. In 8th grade he was kinda skinny now he was a beautiful army tank with human muscle.

It's only been 3 days since I've been at Adams apartment but In those 3 days he's done so much for me and without asking for anything in return.

I eventually turned off the water. When I got out I stood in front of the bathroom mirror naked I just stared and thought. ("Apologize to him Justin he fucking saved your life not once but TWICE.") So my desicion was to just apologize for last night and maybe get some words out of him.

several hours later....

I was sitting at the kitchen table drawing in a sketchbook I had. I drew the hours away.

All the sudden I heard the front door open and then close.

Adam walked in.

"Hey how was your day?" I asked politely to him.

He didnt say nothing, I frowned.

Adam walked into the kitchen walked past me and opened the fridge to get some water after he did that he started walking to his room, I then thought....

(He's going to walk to his room close the door and say nothing...well you know what FUCK THAT SHIT!!!!!)

I got up from the kitchen table chair and ran past him stood in front of the bedroom door and held the door knob behind my back and than it began.

"Hey listen to me Adam, yesterday I cleaned your house and you don't even say thank you. I cooked breakfast for you this morning and you still didnt say thank you...I don't know who the fuck you are but........

BAM!!!

Adam punched his fist to the wall several inches away from my face. He leaned in to my face and said.

"Who the fuck I am? I'll tell you who the fuck I am Goldman. I'm The mother fucker who was nice enough to bring you into my home gave you a bed to sleep on ,food to eat ,and a ROOF over you damn head. And you know what I get in return Goldman?"

I was frozen, that same furious stare he gave me last night was resonated in his eyes again he looked at me with his face close to mine and his fist still on the wall and continued...

"I catch YOU TRYING TO ATTEMPT SUICIDE, OUT OF ALL THE FUCKING RETARDED ASS THINGS YOU CAN DO, YOU CAME UP WITH SUUUUIICIDDDEEE! I HAD TO CHARGE OUT THERE ON THE BALCONY TO SAVE YOUR STUPID COWARD ASS!!!!! AND YOU WANT ME TO SAY THANK YOU TO YOU!!! YOU UNGREATFULL PEICE OF SHIT, YOU SHOULD BE THANKING ME. I DIDN'T JUST SAVE YOUR ASS ONCE BUT I SAVED YOUR ASS TWICE!!! ONE FROM YOU BEING HOMELESS AND TWO FROM KILLING YOURSELF!!!!!!!

No words came out of my mouth everything he said ....was true.

Adam then shoved me out of the way and opened his bedroom door. but I wasnt finished.

I stormed into his room, Adam already changed into some athletic shorts that were black.

"I DID FUCKING THANK YOU, MULTIPLE TIMES YOU ASSHOLE!" I shouted at him He was facing the closet and I was behind him then I continued and said...

"YOU'VE DONE ALOT FOR ME AND I APPRECIATE THAT I DO ADAM I FUCKING DO!!!BUT THAT DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO TREAT ME LIKE SHIT!"

Adam now was taking off his shirt and threw it in the closet still facing his back away from me. At that point I couldn't take it anymore. I then pushed him from behind and shouted....

"LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Adam turned around I was about to punch him but he dodged it and with gigantic force, pushed me onto his bed. He grabbed my shirt. He was on top of me holding the collar of my shirt. His nostrils were flaring his breathing was heavy and his hands that were holding my shirt.....were shaking and than he said with both anger and terror in his voice......

"YOUR FUCKING BRAINS WOULD HAVE BEEN ALL OVER THE FUCKING PARKING LOT!!!!!!! IF I DIDNT SAVE YOU YOU WOULD HAVE....... he stopped.

At that moment I looked in his eyes ,his face was red with anger but his eyes were scared and terrified,When I looked into them it looked liked he wanted...to cry but....no tears came out.

Me I did cry my vision got watery and than I said to him...

"Why Adam? Why did you give me a bed to sleep on? Why did you give me food to eat? Why did you give me a roof over my head." now streams of tears flowed from my eyes down my cheek. "Why did you save me from being homeless? Why did save me from falling?.....Why Adam........." And than all my emotions poured out with Adam still holding me down on the bed.

"WHY ADAM WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE ?????!!!!!! NO ONE ELSE CARES SO WHY DO YOU?!!!! WHY ADAM WHYYYYY?????!!!................................

And then before I could even shout another word.........Adam's lips were pressed against mine. They were soft and they locked against mine like two puzzle pieces connecting together.

He slowly let go of my shirt and held me in close ,embracing me. My back was on the bed with all his beautiful shirtless glory on top of me, his muscular warm chest pressed against mine and mine onto his. My mind raced. My arms were around his neck and his arms under my back. My body tingled and felt warm underneath him.

Adam slowly parted his lips,his nose was against my nose, all I could see were his mezmorizing emerald green eyes. And then he said in a soft body tingling whisper.

"Figure it out."

He got up from the bed walked to the bedroom door and opened it, with his broad muscular back facing me he said." You can sleep in my bed tonight,I'll sleep out here in the living room. We got school tomorrow so go to bed."

He then closed the door behind him.

I sat there just staring at the door wondering if it was all just a dream. Adam....kissed me.....His words echoed in my head ("Figure it out.") but I couldn't I had an idea but......

I turned out his bedroom light and climbed into his bed I layed there thinking. I thought myself to sleep.

Meanwhile Adam was in the living room smoking a cigarette. He sat on the floor with his back against the couch. And with his thumb, he wiped a tear that didn't have the chance to fall down his cheek.

TO BE CONTINUED..............