The Journal

I kept replaying my conversation with Chuck in my head, why was he so concerned about Andrew and me? Why was it any of his business? I got home just as Andrew was pulling in the driveway, he had stopped and picked up a few groceries, I helped him carry them in.

As we were putting them away, I asked, “Andrew, what was it about me that you were first attracted to?”

He gave me a puzzled look, “I would say your eyes, I saw a little twinkle in them when you smiled.”

I smiled thinking back to the first night I saw Andrew. “Does it bother you that I am white?”

Again, with a puzzled look, “What is going on, why are you asking me these questions?”

I told Andrew about what Chuck had said and that it was bothering me that everyone I told about us didn’t seem to be upset about me be gay, but the fact that I was dating someone who was black was always the first thing they brought up.

He said, “Mike, what was it the first attracted you to me?”

Again, I smiled at the thought, “It was your smile, you have the cutest dimples.”

“Does it bother you that I am black?”

“No, of course not, to tell you the truth I didn’t even notice you were black, I just saw a guy with a nice smile and as we started to talk, I knew I wanted to get to know you better.”

“Exactly, I saw the same thing, just a nice guy I wanted to get to know too. You could have been purple for all I cared, and after four years I still don’t care.”

I gave Andrew a hug, “thank you, I needed to hear that tonight. I don’t usually get upset by what others think, but I respect Chuck’s opinion a lot, when he said he was worried, I just started to question myself.”

Andrew said, “look, you look up to Chuck, his opinion is important to you and from the way you talk about him, I think he is genuinely concerned about you. I don’t think you should read anything too much into what he said, I think he is just being protective.”

“You know what? I think you are right, he acts all gruff on the outside, but is he is just a big softy at heart. I guess I am overreacting, I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks, I know I feel about you, and I can’t imagine ever being without you.”

“I feel the same way Mike, if the world can’t handle a gay interracial couple, then to hell with them.”

I gave him a kiss, “you are right, now go get naked, I will be back in a few minutes.”

“Where are you going?”

“I need to run to the store to get some purple body paint.”

I was already at my desk when Chuck came in the next morning.

“Good morning, Chuck.”

“Morning kid, hey Mike, I want to apologize for what I said yesterday, your personal life is none of my business. It is not my place to tell you how to live.”

“It’s ok Chuck, I appreciate the fact that you care.”

“Well yeah, whatever. Oh, I was supposed to ask if you and Andrew had any plans for Friday night, Peggy wants you two to come over for supper.”

“That sounds great, I will check with Andrew and let you know.”

As time went by, and other new reporters were hired, Chuck began to give me bigger stories and I was able to bring him ideas of my own. One night Andrew and I were watching the local news, they did a story about a girl that had disappeared ten years ago. The police had nothing to go on, there was no evidence of foul play, when her parents came home from work, she was gone. There was no note, none of her clothes were missing and her schoolbooks were open, like she was doing her homework. The next day I asked Chuck if I could do a story about the case, I thought there had to be something that was overlooked and if we put it back in the news, maybe someone would come forward with some new information.

“Yeah, I guess it would be alright, just don’t get your hopes up, these cold cases are usually not solved for a reason. You can work on it in your spare time, I am still going to give you current stories to work on.”

“Thanks Chuck.”

I worked on the story over the next few months, interviewing police officers that were on the original case, any witnesses that I could find and any family members that were willing to talk to me. I had all the details of the case lined out and so far, not much that was new, then I got a phone call from the missing girl’s cousin. She told me that she was sure that the girl was dead, the police had maintained that it was still a missing person case, there was no evidence of a murder. I asked her how she was sure, she told me that the girl’s stepfather had been molesting her for years and she was getting ready to tell her mother. The stepfather had threatened to hurt her if she ever told anyone. She had told the cousin this about a week before she had disappeared. I asked the cousin if she told the police, she said that she had, but they didn’t believe her, she was 13 at the time. The stepfather was a well-respected business owner, an elder in the church and the police were sure that he would never do anything to hurt one of his own family.

I gave the new information to the new detective that was working cold cases and he talked to the cousin. I went to Chuck with the story, and we agreed that we should run the story in the Sunday paper and maybe someone else would come forward to back up the new information. By Wednesday a former employee called the police to tell them that the stepfather had been gone the day of the disappearance, he was arrested the next day and by the following week had confessed and lead the police to where he had buried the body.

Chuck decided that I would start a monthly cold case story, I worked with police to highlight the cases that they were working on. It became one of the most popular columns in the Sunday paper, I had found my niche, now if I could only find closure on the journal and Walter.

It was already 1986 and I received an invitation to my 10-year high school reunion, Andrew and I were soon headed to Westburg. When we made it town I gave Andrew a tour, I showed him the pond and even took him to the shed where I had found he journal. We got to the High School, and I introduced him to all my old classmates, a short time later, Murph showed up with his wife. He was still in Oklahoma and coaching a high school football team, they had just won their first state championship. As we were talking, we saw Bug walk in with a beautiful blonde on his arm. He was still in Nashville and was playing guitar for one of the newest stars and had even been in a couple of their videos, he was the hit of the reunion. As the crowd gathered around Bug, my attention shifted toward the door as I saw Kyle walk in. I told Andrew Kyle was here and I took him so that I could introduce them to each other. I noticed that Kyle had lost some weight was looking rather pale. After a few minutes, Kyle asked if we could talk alone, Andrew said, “I will go get us another drink, I will see you in a minute.”

Kyle and I sat down, “Andrew seems like I really nice guy Mike.”

“Thanks, he is. So how are you Kyle, you look like you lost some weight?”

“Yeah, I have, I have had some health problems the last few months.”

 “I hope it isn’t anything serious.”

“Well Mike, it is serious, I don’t know how to say this. I just as well tell you, Mike I have Aids.”

“Oh God Kyle, I am so sorry.”

“Thanks, the doctors have me on some experimental medicine, but I know that there isn’t much they can do. That’s why I came tonight, I was hoping you would be here so I could tell you in person.”

“I don’t know what to say Kyle, I wish there was something I could do to help, you know if you need anything I will do it in a heartbeat.”

“I know Mike, look don’t feel sorry for me, I have accepted my fate, I know that there isn’t anything that anyone can do.”

We talked for a while longer, Murph, Bug and Andrew joined us few minutes later, Kyle filled them in on his condition.

Kyle said, “ok guys, enough of this sad shit, Murph, Bug what are you guys up to, tell me what you are doing.”

After they updated him, we all began to talk about our school years and were laughing and teasing each other for the rest of evening. As we left, I couldn’t help but think that the next time we would see each other would be at Kyle’s funeral.

Andrew and I set up an appointment with our doctor as soon as we were back home, He put our mind at ease when we told him that we were had only been with each other for the past ten years. He assured us that most of the Aids patients were those that had many partners as opposed to just one, those that used drugs were also more susceptible.

Andrew and I had saved up our money and we were finally able to buy a house of our own, it wasn’t big or fancy, but it suited us and was in a nice neighborhood. Andrew came home with some more good news a few months later, the superintendent had announced his retirement and Mr. Hogan was to replace him and Andrew was going to move into the principal job. I was so proud of him, he was so happy and I, of course spent the entire weekend showing him how proud I was.

I was still doing my monthly cold case story every month as well as regular stories that Chuck would give me. He called me to his office one day.

“Hey kid, when are going to see your mom next time?”

“We were planning on going the weekend after this next one. Why?”

“There is a reporter up in Jackson that is retiring after 60 years, he is 84 years old. I would like you to go interview him this weekend, and do a write up on him.”

“60 years? You mean to tell me he has been writing for the paper since 1932?”

“Yep, he started in June of 32, I think he has written a couple books too.”

“Chuck, why do you want me to do this story? Surely one of the new guys can handle a fluff piece like this.”

“Yes, they probably could, look I am friends with the editor up there, he has read some of your work and he says your writing styles are very similar. He thinks you two would get along well, here is his bio and a copy of his final article, please just read them and then we can decide if you should go.”

I went to my desk and opened the file, the bio was pretty brief, he had been at the same paper since 32, there was a list of articles that won some local and state awards, even one national award. It didn’t appear that he had any formal schooling, or any real information previous to 1932. He had written 5 books, the first four in the 50’s and 60’s, by the titles, two seemed to be about the civil rights movement, two were true crime stories, the last one was from 1972 and was about some kids growing up in the 1920’s.

I turned to the advance copy of his final article, it was going to be printed in next Sundays edition of the Jackson paper.

As most of you already know, this will be my last article, after 60 years it is time to call it a career, and what a career it has been. When I was trying to decide what to write about, I first thought I should say something about the biggest stories from the last 60 years but there are so many, and you have all heard them before. Then I thought I could talk about all the technological advances that I have seen, if I was writing this article in the fifties, I would write it out in long hand and a typist would type it up so I could make changes and rewrites just so she could type it all over again. Now I type it myself, the words show up on a screen, I read it over and push a few buttons and can change any words I want, another button and it prints out on a piece of paper. Again, you all know about that sort of thing, your jobs have all changed in much the same way.

I finally settled on writing this article about the people that I wrote about. It doesn’t matter what the subject of the article is there was always a person or people behind the story. I could not even guess the number of people I have talked to over the years, some good, some bad, some heroes, some villains. Many I remember vividly, but sadly just as many I probably would not recognize if I met them on the street today. I have always felt it was the people that made the story, not the event that I was covering, I hope that is how each of you read my words.

I have always found it fascinating that two different people can view the person I was writing about completely opposite of each other. You can name any local, state, or national leader and I will show you at least one person that loves them and another that despises them. It is the same with each generation that comes a long, the current generation always say the next generation is going to ruin the world and the new generation always say the last generation has already ruined it.

I have always felt that as a journalist, it was my job to present the facts and leave it to the reader to interpret the story for themselves. We all have an opinion and that’s ok, we just need to have an open mind and respect for those who have a different one. Just remember that people can bring out the best of each other and the worst, always try for the best.

As I sign off for the last time, I think back on a long life and have no regrets. My advice to you would be go meet people, they are fascinating, don’t get upset if you don’t see eye to eye. You can learn just as much from an uneducated clod as you can from the most informed scholar, it all depends on how you use what you have learned.

I wish you all well, and thanks for reading all my ramblings for the past 60 years. – H,N, Walters

I walked back to Chuck’s office, “I will leave first thing Friday morning.”

He smiled, “I know, you have an appointment with him at his house on Saturday at 10. The address is back of his bio sheet.”