I continued driving down the road. The closer I got to Drew's house, the more unsure and worried I started to feel. I pulled into Drew's driveway and sat for a second; I thought about what just happened. How was I going to explain this to him? What do I say? Before I knew it Drew's mom Lucy came running towards the car.
'Chris!' She called, opening the door and hugging me.
I got out of the car. 'Hey! It's been forever, how have you been?' I asked, giving her another hug.
'I've been alright; same old stuff, different day. What about you?' She asked, grabbing my hand and walking me to the front door.
'Uhm, I've been good.' I laughed a little.
'Well that's good! I still think it's a shame you didn't get to stay with us for Christmas.' She said. We talked into the house and turned the corner into Drew's living room. Drew got up and ran over to me, kissing me. I didn't kiss him back.
'Everything okay babe?' He asked.
'Yeah.' I said insipidly. I wanted to talk to Drew, I couldn't concentrate.
'Okay.' He said brightly.
We all talked for about a half an hour. They asked me about graduation and what I wanted to do after.
'I want to double major in psychology and English.' I said, looking from Lucy to Gary. I've always known what I wanted to do ever since I was little.
'That's awesome! Gary is an English major, right hun?' Lucy looked over at Gary.
'Yeah, I taught at Georgia State for a while.' He said to me. He still seemed a little distant since the last time I saw him.
We continued talking and then Gary and Lucy decided that they wanted to go visit Stacey.
'Now you tell us when your graduation is and we'll be sure to come to it!' Lucy said, hugging me tightly.
'Yeah, and that open house too, young man.' Gary gripped my hand and shook it. 'Haha, okay. You got it!' I said.
Drew and I said goodbye and went back into the house. We went upstairs and sat on his bed.
'Now are you going to tell me what's wrong?' He asked, leaning back.
I put my head on his chest. This entire situation seemed like it was going by way too fast, it started to seem daunting.
'Well?' He asked, petting my head.
My emotions took over. I felt dirty; my head told me that I was unclean. My eyes started to water and my breathing got heavy. All I could think was that I cheated on Drew; I cheated on the one I loved.
'Hey,' he lifted my head up so that we were looking into each other's eyes, 'whatever it is, it'll be okay! Come on, I hate when you cry.' He leaned over and kissed me.
As usual, I felt dizzy. I loved the fact that his kisses did that to me.
'Better?' He asked, breaking the kiss.
'No,' I kissed him again, 'but it will do.'
He smiled. He lied back down and I continued to listen to his heart beat. There was something mesmerizing about Drew, something that made me want him.
'So what was it you needed to talk about?' Drew whispered, still petting my head.
'I'll tell you later.' I said, dozing off. My eyes were heavy, and before I knew it I was asleep.
I woke up under Drew's covers. His side of the bed was empty and I missed him already. I got up and made my way down the stairs, around the corner, down the hall, and to the kitchen. Drew was at the island drinking coffee.
'Morning Sunshine!' He smiled and blew me a kiss.
'Cheesy.' I teased and sat on the other side of the island.
'What's on the agenda for today?' He asked, taking a sip of his coffee.
'I don't know, what do you wanna do?' I asked him, looking out of the kitchen window. It was a nice day.
'Let's go to the mall,' he set his coffee cup down, 'I'll buy you something.' He smiled and winked at me.
I laughed, 'it's a deal.'
We took a shower together and got ready. Drew kept doing what he always did, playfully annoying the hell out of me every chance he got. We jumped into my car and Drew drove to the mall.
'Let's take pictures in those photo booth things!' He said, smiling really big.
'Haha okay babe.' I said, opening my door and getting out of the car.
We both walked to the front entrance of the mall.
'Hmm, let's go buy summer clothes.' Drew said, walking through the doors.
'Okay,' I smiled and followed him.
As soon as I walked in the first person I saw was Sam. He was right in front of us, he had a couple of bags with him.
'Hey Sam!' Drew called.
Sam stopped and turned around.
'Oh, hey,' he looked at me, 'how are you guys?' He asked, his voice didn't sound happy at all.
'We're good,' Drew nudged me a little.
I was trying not to make eye contact with Sam.
'Yeah, we're okay.' I said, looking down at the ground.
'Good.' Sam said, fidgeting with his bags. There was an awkward silence followed by Drew asking what Sam has been up to.
'Oh nothing much,' Sam looked at me again, this time we made eye contact, 'just busy with things I guess.'
'I hear you.' Drew stated, completely oblivious as to how awkward the situation was.
'Well, I've got to run. I'll talk to you later?' He looked directly at me. I shook my head.
'Okay.' He turned around and left.
Drew and I kept walking until we turned into a store.
'I've always liked Sam, he's really nice.' He said, browsing through some shorts.
'Yeah,' I said quietly, 'me too.'
'Is everything alright?' Drew asked looking towards me.
'Yeah, everything's okay.' I said, I wanted to leave.
I wanted to tell Sam how sorry I was. To be completely honest, I felt more like I betrayed Sam rather than betraying Drew.
'Hey, Drew; let's leave.' I said, turning towards the door.
'But we haven't even bought anything!' Drew protested.
'Now.' I said, my voice was calm. I didn't even notice how terse I was getting with Drew.
He walked up behind me and rubbed my back, 'Okay.'
We left the mall and drove back to Drew's house. We didn't talk at all the entire way home. I hated this entire situation; I hated how I messed everything up. All I could think was that this entire thing was so fucked up. I wanted everything to stop; I wanted this entire thing to end.
We pulled up to Drew's house. Drew stopped the car and turned to me.
'Seriously, Chris, what's wrong?' He asked, he put his hand on my arm.
'I can't tell you.' I said, my eyes started to water.
'Why not?' He started to get annoyed.
'Because why?' He squeezed my arm.
I was crying, I couldn't help it. This entire thing was so inundating, I couldn't find a way out. I wanted to be with Drew, I really did, but there was that thing with Sam. I felt as if my body was being ripped into two.
'Chris?' Drew squeezed my arm even harder.
'I cheated on you.' I said, pulling my arm away from him.
More to come.