My world shattered. It seemed like my head was going to explode. Drew wanted to sleep and told me he would talk to me in the morning. I didn't sleep at all. As I stared at the ceiling my mind wandered.
'How am I supposed to be without him?' I said to myself. I couldn't do it. I got up and sat in the chair next to the window. Tears fell from my eyes as I thought about how hard my life would be without him. The next thing I knew, the sun was up. I looked at the clock, it was 7:34 a.m. Drew was still asleep, but I couldn't stand looking at him. I got up and went downstairs into the kitchen.
'Morning sweetheart, have a nice sleep?' Lucy said; she was sitting at the dining room table.
I sat down and her face turned from cheerful to a look of immediate concern.
'What's wrong? What happened?' Her voice was frenetic, her eyes pierced my own.
'It's nothing, I-I,' I was choking on my words, 'Drew doesn't want to be with me.' Tears cascaded my eyes. My heart broke at that instant.
'Oh my God, honey, I'm so sorry!' She got up and came around the table to hug me, 'did he say why?'
'No. He just said he can't be with me anymore. This hurts so much.' I shook away her arms and stood up. 'Wh-What did I do? H-How did I mess up?' My knees went weak and I fell. Lucy ran over to me and helped me up. She walked me into the living room and sat me on the couch.
'Honey, Honey! Listen to me!' She grabbed my chin and held it in place.
'You will not do this. Do you hear me?' She asked with a stern look.
I shook my head.
'I'll talk to him when he gets up. Why he would do this the day before Christmas, God Chris, I'm so sorry.' She pulled me into a hug. I cried on her shoulder for a little while and then Drew walked into the room.
'Andrew Stevens! You little--'
'I need to talk to Chris, mom.' Drew cut Lucy off. He looked destroyed.
'You've done enough. What would make you do this? You, we did not raise you like this!' Lucy stood up. Her anger was almost to the tip. Her face started to turn red.
'MOTHER! I NEED TO TALK TO HIM RIGHT FUCKING NOW!' Drew yelled the loudest I have ever heard him yell. He stormed past Lucy and grabbed my hand, taking me out of the living room and up the stairs to his room.
'Drew let go of me!' I ripped my arm from his hand.
'I need to know one thing, Chris.' He said, walking over to the window, 'do you love me?'
I couldn't believe he was asking me that, 'do I have to answer?' My blood was boiling.
'Yes, you have to answer.' He turned and looked at me.
'Fuck you, Drew. Seriously, fuck you. Why are you doing this? I fucking hate you!' I fell on the floor again. My eyes were puffy from the tears that I was crying. Drew walked over and picked me up.
'I need you to tell me Chris.' He put me on his bed and asked me one more time, 'do you love me?'
It was so hard for me to answer him. I don't know why, I just couldn't stare at him.
'I loved you. It's over, remember?' I buried my head in Drew's pillow.
'I understand.' Drew lifted me to face him.
'Let's take you home.'
I got all of my stuff. The packing seemed like a blur. The car ride was long; I sat in the backseat and tried to sleep. Some part of me wanted to believe that I would wake up and all of this would have been completely fictional. Drew pulled up to front of my house and stopped.
'Do you need help?' Drew looked back at me as I picked up my bags and opened the car door.
'It doesn't matter now. Bye.' I said, holding back the tears. I opened the car door.
Drew rolled down the passenger side window, 'merry Christmas, Chris.'
I just kept walking. I went into the house, up the stairs, and into my room. It was the mid afternoon now and I had no clue where anyone was. I laid on my bed, and after a while I fell asleep. I had dreams of Drew, and I woke up crying.
'Chris? Chris, is that you?' Mom opened the door to my room. 'Why are you home?' She walked over to my bed and sat on the end of it.
'It's over, mom.' I cried, she walked to the side of my bed and got under the covers with me. She held my hand for a little while and then shook me by the shoulders.
'Chris, straighten up! Come on, now, you're tough! You'll make it through this I promise. I love you.' She held me until I fell asleep again.
I woke up and the sky was dark. I turned over and looked at my phone; half hoping to see that Drew tried to call me, but there was nothing. I got up and went downstairs into the foyer and sat on a chair, just thinking. I heard someone walk down the stairs and turn the corner; I sat there trying to fight back the tears.
'Chris?' Dad walked over to me. I looked up at him, hoping that he would go away.
'Hey dad.' I looked at his feet. I didn't want him to see my eyes watering.
'What's wrong, bud?' He asked while pulling up a chair so that he was sitting across from me.
'It's fine, I'll be fine; aren't you tired?' I asked, trying to get him to leave.
'No, haha I haven't been able to sleep for a while now.' He raised his head so that he was looking at me, 'don't you want to tell me what's wrong?' He smiled.
'No, not really.' I was avoiding his gaze. Everything seemed to be making me more sensitive.
'Is it Drew?' He held my hand. My face started to get red and I knew he was staring at me.
'We're over.' Those were the only words I could manage to say. At that instant this entire situation sunk in. I wouldn't be able to call him just to tell him that I love him, I wouldn't be able to call him mine, I wouldn't be able to listen to his voice and feel comfortable. The world seemed too inadequate, I couldn't take it.
'Things will get better, Chris, they always do. It's Christmas as of six minutes ago, you should be happy! Get some sleep.' He got up and turned to walk around the corner when I called for him.
'Dad,' he stopped and turned to face me, 'thanks.'
'I'm always here if you need me.' He smiled and then disappeared around the corner.
I sat up and thought for a couple of minutes. After a while I decided I'd go to sleep.
The morning came sooner than I expected. I woke up and went downstairs; mom and dad were sitting at the dining room table.
'Cynthia still asleep?' I asked, rubbing my eyes.
'No, she's at grandma's house.' Mom said, taking a drink of her coffee.
'Merry Christmas!' Dad shouted. He was holding a box. 'I thought you were a little too old to put it under the tree.'
I smiled and took the box from him. I opened it up, it was a silver key. 'What's this?' I asked, at first I thought it was a car key.
'Your new apartment.' Mom said. She jumped up and hugged me, she seemed like she was going to cry.
'But you can't move in until after school finishes. Deal?' Dad raised his hand so that I could shake it.
'Deal! Thank you guys so much! I love you!' I hugged both of them and took the key up to my room. I placed it on my night stand and went to the bathroom to shower. For a second, I forgot about the entire situation with Drew.
I got out of the shower and checked my phone. I had one missed call'it was from a number I didn't have stored in my phone. I got dressed and called the number back.
'Hello?' I asked, a lady's voice came from the other side.
'Merry Christmas, Chris! You left so early I didn't get a chance to say it. How are you holding up?'
'Uh, good, is this Lucy?' I asked. I already knew it was her.
'Goodness, yes! Listen,' she lowered her voice to a whisper, 'I don't know what's going on with Drew, but he's a wreck. Did anything happen on the car ride home?'
'No. I just sat in the back and tried to sleep. Did he get back to your house late last night?'
'Yeah, around eleven or so. Maybe it's just because he was driving all day yesterday. But Chris, he really has not come out of his room yet. Why don't you call him and talk to him, I think you both need that.' She sounded like she was trying to convince me.
'I can't do it, Lucy. I don't know what's wrong, but I can't talk to him. It hurts too much. I'll talk to you later though, I have to go. Merry Christmas!' I called into the phone as I hung up.
The rest of the day was pretty much boring. I just sat downstairs and hung out with my parents.
New Years Eve was here and I was invited to a party. I got ready, and drove to the kid's house. I never really talked to him, but like I've said, I was somewhat popular. I walked into the house and saw Alexia and Steve.
'CHRIS! OH MY GOD CHRIS!' Alexia ran over and gave me the biggest hug I've ever received. 'HOW THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!' She shouted over the music.
'I've been good, how about you? I've missed you guys like crazy!' I hugged her and Steve came over.
'We've been good. Joe is in California right now, Merry late Christmas!' Steve said. He gave me a hug.
'Thanks, you too!' I said.
'So I take it the mystery girl that you've been ditching us for isn't here?' Alexia asked, looking over my shoulder.
'No'that's over.' I said. I could feel my face turn to a frown.
'Ah, well all's well that ends well!' Steve said, 'Let's go sit down!'
I followed them to the kitchen and we saw Kevin, the kid that was throwing the party. We all said thanks for inviting us and then sat at the table. We talked for a little while when I saw him. Drew was standing with Kevin's parents, talking and laughing.
'What are you looking at?' Steve asked, turning to look at what I was looking at.
'Nothing.' I said, looking away from Drew.
'Did you see the counselor here? It reminds me that we have to go back to school in two days. God, I hate that place.' Steve said, Alexia was shaking her head in agreement.
'Yeah, I saw him. Hey guys, I'm going to go. I'll text you both and we'll get together before we have to go back to school! Okay?' I stood up and looked at both of them.
'Okay, we'll talk to you later.' Alexia said. She stood up and gave me a hug, Steve followed.
I walked outside to my car and opened the driver's side door. Someone grabbed my shoulder.
'Chris.' Drew said, he spun me around.
'Hi.' I looked at him in the eyes. His breath smelled like alcohol.
'How're you doing?' He said, his words were slurring.
'Not so good. You care? Yeah right.' I said. I shook his hand away from my shoulder.
'Yeah, I care. I missed you baby.' He leaned over and forced his lips on mine.
'Ew, you're drunk.' I said. He pulled my head back. He was pushing me up against my car.
'No I'm not. I know you want it,' He pushed his body up against mine. I tried to move away, but he just held on tighter.
'Drew, stop! Stop it now!' I yelled, pushing my arms in between his body and mine.
'Stop, Chris. You know you've missed me. Come on baby.' He forced me to turn around. I felt his hands undo my pants and pull down my briefs.
'DREW STOP!' I screamed, he put his hand over my mouth. I felt his cock prod my hole and then push in. I clenched, he was being too rough. His thrusts were hard and fast, I started to cry. I couldn't understand why he was doing this.
'Yeah, that feels good Chris. Tell me how much you missed me.' He whispered in my ear. I could smell the alcohol on his breath.
Tears dropped out of my eyes as I begged him one last time to stop what he was doing, 'Drew, stop! God, I can't stand you! I hate you so much, why are you doing this? Drew, STOP!'
I felt him pull out. He spun me around and put his face next to mine so that he was speaking in my ear. 'Because you're mine. And you'll always be mine,' he said, his tone of voice was harsh, 'got it?' He hissed.
I shook my head. He zipped up his jeans and walked around my car, walking back into the house.
I got into my car and just sat there for a while, crying. My head was in a rush and I couldn't seem to make anything out. I drove home and went inside, going to the bathroom. I opened the medicine cabinet up and pulled out sleeping pills; that's all I wanted to do, sleep. I dumped them into my hand and forced them into my mouth, swallowing them without water.
I felt dizzy walking up to my room. I took off my shirt and laid on my bed, I started to sweat. My heart was pounding and I felt the most unpleasant feeling I have ever felt in my entire life, and then there was darkness.
More to come.