I woke up the next day to a little finger softly grazing the surface of my arm.
"Good morning", he greeted me with a sunny smile.
"Morning", I yawningly said, stretching my arms out above my head.
My room looked like the day before the first day of the creation narrative. The pillows were all over the place thanks to the "undefeated" pillow fighting champ. Jordan and I passed out last night... Or should I say this morning... Watching movies.
"Can I ask you a question?"
Here we go... That's usually code for: "Let's go Smartass on Keegan's keister".
"Yes you may."
"Why don't you snore like my dad?" He pouted.
Wasn't expecting that one! I was getting ready for "Why do you like boys?" or "What are Carlos' intentions with you?"
"I don't know. Is that a bad thing?" I tickled his stomach knowing that, like me, it's his weakness.
Rigorous giggles with the prompting of an amused frown was his only reaction to me tickling the living carbon dioxide out of him! This went on for a minute before he gave up, gasping for air.
"No way",he said regaining his breath." I finally managed to get some sleep."
He turned on his back and stared at the ceiling. I did the same.
"Do you think I'm going to end up sounding like a human motorbike too, when I grow up?", he asked not releasing his gaze from the ceiling.
"I guess it all depends on how good you behave. Why?"
What? A lie is not that bad if we both benefit from it.
Let me explain this to you in physics: Some douche once said that for every action there's an equal and opposite reaction. So let's say for argument's sake that's true... Then, in theory, my positive action of telling him to behave in order not to inherit some annoying trait, has to result in a positive reaction. Yip... My big bang theory moment! I thank you!
"I would just like to warn my wife in advance."
He's already thinking about marriage? Wasn't that one of the best things about growing up? Always having everything figured out. Well... That and speaking into the fan with your "robot voice". Oh come on, don't pretend like you never did that!
"A wife huh?"
"Yeah", he breathed.
"So you think it's better being married than being single?"
"I don't know which one is better but I'll tell you one thing though, I'm never having sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out", he physically crinched.
I gestured taking a voice recorder out of my pocket and holding it to his mouth. This is another one of our things... Almost like the "I know that look" thing, where we pretend like one of us interviews the other on a radio station in a British accent. His face instantly lit up at the sight of the "voice recorder".
"So mr. Pierce... How do you plan on making your wife happy? Perhaps by doing the bits and bobs?"
"Blimey, Mr. Bryson, you nosy bloke... Simply by telling her she looks beautiful even if she looks like a truck."
I have to admit... Britain's finest pretend accent ever!
"And Bob's your uncle! That's the doddle... So don't make the clanger of treating your wife like a charwoman... This is your morning plate of brekky, including the usual bacon butty and cuppa, but with the bollocks chucked out, saying cheerio."
We both instantly burst out laughing! You know, one of those guffaws where the volume of the one laugh instantly increases with velocity, in conjunction with the other one.
After calming down, he let out a big sigh like he had the world - and his truck wife- on his shoulders as he turned on his side to face me . Why does he look like someone who just shot a panda bear?
"I'm going to miss you."
"Miss me?" I asked a bit stunned. Why would he miss me? I'm right here.
"Yeah, we're leaving today", he casually informed me.
I say "casually" because he said it like:" Hey, don't worry... I'll see you again before I hit puberty."
"No way! We haven't even gone ice skating yet."
"I know. It sucks, but my dad has his usual "important meeting" to go to."
Yeah, he even made the quotation marks with his fingers. But his dad does have a lot of those!
"One day when I'm older you should come live with me... You and Carlos."
Well, someone definitely made an impression on him.
"Carlos? Do you... Do you like him?" My curiosity overwhelming my enthusiasm, I asked reservedly.
"Yeah, he's funny."
"He is kinda funny huh?"
"Yeah and he made you smile a lot yesterday. You blushed too, when he kissed you."
Okay this is getting awkward.
"Have you had breakfast yet?"
"Nope, I was waiting for you to wake up."
"Well I'm up", I said stalking him with my hand like prey in the night, before I attacked his stomach with my hand of fury!
"I still can't believe you're leaving so soon."
I gave uncle Sam a hug before pulling away.
"Me neither, but duty calls. I know someone's gonna miss you."
I looked at the car to see Jordan already inside. Yeah, I'm not good at goodbye's either.
"Aren't you going to say goodbye?"
He shook his head and continued playing with his game.
"I thought you said you didn't want to sound like a human motorbike, because not saying goodbye is very bad behaviour."
"I know that look", he said with a defeated sigh.
"What look?", I asked innocently.
"The "Jo- Bear, you know I'm right" look."
"I'm really going to miss you."
Honestly, I really am going to miss this British accent faking, "you know I'm right" saying, Spider-Man loving, nephew of mine!
"I don't want to say goodbye."
"Goodbye is such a strong word. Let's call it... Let's call it a temporary separation."
"That sounded even worse", he furrowed his brows.
That did sound worse, didn't it?
"Okay, let's call it a temporary vacation from your sidekick."
"That could work."
Yeah, speaking superhero always works!
"I love you Jo-bear."
"I love you too, Kee-bear."
The rest of the day went by perpetually so let's get to the good stuff. Carlos called me and we decided on a movie. Yeah I know... Not really the most romantic thing for a first date, but hey, a night with a gorgeous guy is better than nothing. Who's jelly?
I went downstairs to find my mother and Phil in the kitchen.
My mother and Phil have been dating for about two years now and he seems to make her very happy. He was kind of like a father figure to me, when my dad moved away... So in a way, he helped us both!
"Hey", I said sitting down on the kitchen island.
"How would you like your hamburger son?", Phil asked licking some sauce off his finger.
"Oh I forgot to tell you... I'm actually going on a date."
You had to say date, didn't you?
"A date huh?", my mom asked eyeing me suspiciously.
"That's what I said."
"So, when do we get to meet him?"
"As soon as you two kids decide to make it legal. You know, buying the bakery instead of getting the cake for free."
Did I really just say that? Whoa okay, who let out the rainbows and unicorns? Because they are shagging all over the place. Nooo...
"Are you...? When...? Who popped the question?"
"Well, I finally picked up on the hints you're mother left me and I proposed."
"That's so great!! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you two."
I got up to congratulate them both properly but they engaged in lip measuring, without even noticing me getting up.
"Ew, kid present. That's my cue, I guess."
I arrived at the movie theatre and I could feel the butterflies fluttering around in my stomach. Oh, who am I kidding? Those fuckers must be on some serious protein powder! I felt more nervous than one of Dolly's clones at the Annual American Lamb barbaque. What? It's been a long time.
I looked around the cinema to see Carlos scanning the room and then it happened... Our eyes met...
You know that moment in the movies where the background becomes all foggy looking and everything slows down except for the two idiots staring at each other? Oooh and don't forget the out-of-nowhere, sexy, mysterious breeze... Okay, so that's not exactly how it happens but you know what I mean.
He came over to me and I set off to meet him halfway.
"Fancy meeting you here."
"You look great", he said pulling me in for a hug.
I pulled out of the hug and looked at the selection of movies.
"So what do you think we should see?"
"I hope you don't mind but I already bought the tickets", he formally informed me.
Mmmmm, not the best thing to do on a first date... Strike one? Nah, I'll let it slide.
"That's okay, I guess. Why don't you go find our seats and I'll get the popcorn or you go get the popcorn and I'll find the seats?"
"How about we skip the that? I don't really like the sound of popcorn in my ears when I watch a movie."
What? A movie without popcorn? That's like barbie without the fake tan. Like Fat Amy without the "fat". Strike one? Hellz yeah!
Date Rate so far: 2/10
We made our way to the door of the theatre before he stopped and covered my eyes with his hands.
"What are you doing?"
"Shhhh", he whispered softly into my ear.
Hey, I'm all for "bucket-o-blood" films but I sure as hell don't want to be in one of them. What? The witty one's always die first!
"You know, if you wanted to kill me you, we just passed the bathroom."
It seems like the place where people would get killed a lot. I might be wrong but that's what I've seen in movies!
"I'm sorry for being a complete tool back there but I didn't want to ruin the surprise."
He removed his hands and I was blown away.
"You like it?" Carlos whispered, despite us being the only people in the theatre.
"Like it?" I asked wheezingly."I love it."
The stairs were covered with white and red rose petals as they were lightly illuminated by small candles on the far end of each step. The candles were inside beautiful see-through red glasses.
He whisked me off my feet and carried me down the stairs where a mattress awaited us, covered by an assortment of delicious food.
And get this: No "I forgot to switch my phone off before the movie and now everyone is staring at me" idiots. Those are the worst! No I'm lying... The people who suddenly develop social skills during the movie are the worst!
"This is incredible. How did you manage to do this?", I asked as he sat me down on my feet.
"I know some people."
"This is really special", I breathed.
"A really special date for a really special person. And it's the least I could do for interrupting your ice cream session."
"You're not going to let that go, are you?"
"Absolutely not." He smiled deviously.
"Well I'm glad you did."
He led me to the mattress and I sat down carefully to avoid ruining anything. It looked so perfect!
"Do you treat all the guys you take on dates, like this?"
"I've never dated a guy before", he replied quite matter-of-factly.
"Like ever?", I asked rather astounded.
"No, this is my first date with a guy."
"You can't be serious."
Come on, I guy like him? The guys must be drooling water tanks over him!... I'm doing that right now!
"I've been with other guys but I've never... Been with other guys before."
Did you get that?
"That made absolutely no sense."
"Yeah, it did. You know, I've BEEN with others guys but I've never actually BEEN with other guys", he tried explaining again.
"Yeah, no. That didn't sound any smarter the second time, but I understand what you thought you meant."
He took a plump red strawberry and dipped it into the chocolate before taking a small bite and feeding me the rest.
"I have to make a confession."
Did he appear on the tattoo edition of Playgirl magazine? That I would totally believe!
"Not really a Spider-Man fan, are you?"
"Not really, but that's not it", he said with a chuckle.
"Oh God, it this the part where I find out you're not who you appear to be and you strangle me with dental floss or something?"
The name's Malvacini.... Carlos Malvacini.
Well that was spam worthy, don't you think?
"You watch too many movies."
"I get that a lot."
"May I continue with my confession now?"
"I'm sorry. Continue..."
"Don't give me a hard time about this but we didn't meet by chance."
Some have a weakness for good guys, some for bad boys. Keegan?... Serial Killers!
"What do you mean?"
"I heard you were looking for a kid in a Spider- Man costume and I really wanted to meet you."
Stalker bar: 70%
That is so creepy in such a sweet way.
"That's really sweet.... I think?"
He took some chocolate with his finger and spread it across my bottom lip before gently licking it off.
First base?... Check... Second base?... Hellz yeah... Third base?... Probable
How was that? Comments?
"I'm sorry but you have no idea how much I've wanted to do that from the first day I met you."
Pinning me up against a wall and kissing the shit out of me?
"Good, I thought I was the only one."
His arms were tightly wrapped around my shoulders, and mine, clinged to his hard muscular chest as we continued making out. I moaned as he started kissing my neck, his fingers digging into my flesh through the fabric of my jeans.