Carter didn't pick me up Monday morning. Or the day after. That hurt, but I expected it. We would see each other in the halls at school, but I would quickly avert my eyes and melt into the crowd. I know that sounds cowardly, but I couldn't face him for fear of breaking down completely.
Once again, I was all alone. I couldn't wait for my parents to come home. When they got here, I knew that everyhting would be alright. I would lay my head in my mama's lap and let it all out and she would help me figure this mess out. Or at least I hoped so.
My parents knew I was gay, and they were fine wiht it.
'As long as you're happy,' they told me.
'But I would love some grandchildren,' Mama added.
A week later, my prayers were answered.
I was vegging out on the couch reading my latest obsession: Anne Rice, when I heard a car pull up at the curb. When I looked out the window, the pain and lonliness of the past week faded away. My parents climbed out of the car and I met them at the door.
'Mama! Daddy!' I yelled as I ran and hugged them.
My mom was a vision of beauty in her cigarette pants and men's button down. She has perfect fair skin that allows her to get away with not wearing makeup, a feature that many of her friends begrudge her. Her best feature, though, is her stunning red hair. That's where I get it from, I guess. My dad was the typical businessman in his khakis, Lacoste sweater and his salt and pepper hair. I look so much like my mom that I sometimes doubt his role in my conception!
'Hey, Big Boy,' he said as he rubbed my head. His nickname for me never really made sense, considering that I'm 5'7 and have 0 percent muscle tone. But I love the name anyway.
'Did you miss us?' my mama asked me as she hugged me fiercly.
'Terribly,' I replied as I inhaled the scent of lemon verbena that wafted from her hair.
'Well are you gonna help us with the bags?' she asked impatiently. It was like they had never left.
Over a dinner of take-out, I told them of my first weeks of school. Of course I lied and told them that things were going great and that I had made friends. I was waiting to spill the beans to Mama in private, because I didn't really feel comfortbale talking about Carter in front of my dad. Not that my dad and I weren't close, we got along great; it would just be wierd to talk about my guy troubles with him. Then the bad news came.
'Honey, I hate to tell you this, but we have to leave again Friday. But we're just going to Atlanta, so we'll be back in 3 days tops,' Mama said, her eyes pleading me to understand.
'If it's possible, we'll be home before then,' Daddy said as he patted me on the back.
'It's fine. Really,' I said, smiling at them both. My parents didn't neglect me or anything, there were just certain times of the year when they had they had to travel alot. Either way, I was just glad they were home now.
I walked into Mama's study that night to find her reading endless emails on her laptop.
'Mama? Can I talk to you about something?' I asked quietly as I sat on the couch in the corner.
'Sure, darling, what is it?' she asked with concern in her eyes. I relaxed when she sat down next to me.
Over the next several minutes, I told her the whole story from beginning to end. But I toned down the make-out session to keep the conversation from getting awkward.
'Well, that's quite a problem,' she sighed, 'Do you like this boy?
I nodded my head.
'Then he would understand if you just went and talked to him. From the sounds of it, he likes you too,' she said with a smile, the laugh lines around her mouth deepening attractively.
'Mama, what would I do without you?' I asked honestly.
'Die,' she repiled frankly. Then we both burst into laughter.
'Matt, you better get to bed, you have school tomorrow and I'm beat,' she said with a yawn.
'Ok, goodnight, Mama,' I said.
'Goodnight, honey. And remember what I told you,' she called as I walked towards my room.
For the next few days, I mustered up the courage to talk to Carter. To this day, I still don't know why I was so scared to approach him. The morning my parents left, I steeled myself and marched to school, intent on explaining things to him.
I looked all around for him in the hall and didn't see him. I didn't see him at lunch, either. Strange. I finally saw him at the end of the day, but it was under unfortunate circumstances.
I was walking out of my last class when the toe of my shoe caught the doorjamb and I busted it. I mean, like the kind of fall that will leave bruises. My clumsiness will land me in the hospital one day, I thought.
I got up and dusted myself off, hopeful that no one saw me. Of course everyone saw me and I was greeted my a chorus of laughter.
I blushed about 10 shades of crimson and walked to my locker. I heard loud obnoxious laughter beside me and turned to see a group of jocks and cheerleaders laughing and pointing at me.......and Carter was among them. My eyes filled witht the omnipresent tears as I slammed my locker and ran out the front door. I ran blindly across the street and headed towards my house, desperate to get home so I could sob in private.
'Matt, wait!' I heard an all too familiar voice call behind me. I kept walking until Carter caught up with me and I turned towards him.
'I'm sorry about laughing at you,' he said as he tried to pull me to him.
'Don't,' I said quietly as I backed away from him with my palms out. He lowered his eyes in shame and I took that as my que to walk away, ignoring his calls to me.
Thankfully, I made it home and shut the door before the anger and pain overcame me. I laid down and let all my tears out before falling into an exhausted sleep.
A knock on the front door woke me up. I don't know how long I slept, but it was dark outside. I mad the mistake of answering the door without looking throught the peephoel first. It was Carter. Why did he have to come when I was puffy eyed and had just woken up?
He looked at me sheepishly, 'Hi,' he whispered.
I gave him a blank look.
'I know you probably don't want to see me, but I feel so terrible about what I did,' he said earnestly.
'Um, ok, come in,' I said reluctantly. I walked into the foyer, leaving the door open for him. When I turned around, he was towering over me and looking down at me with a touchingly soft expression.
'Well, I guess we're about even. I hurt you and you hurt me. Can we just move on?' I said.
He just stood there giving me that same gentle look. If I didn't know better, I would say it was loving.
'Well?' I said impatiently.
Before I could berate him further, he pulled me into a tight embrace. I let him, because it felt so good to be in his arms. It washed all the pain away and replaced it with comfort and safety.
'I need you to forgive me. I've missed you so much,' he said softly. His voice broke and I felt a stab of pain go through me.
'There's nothing to forgive you for. I hurt you by running away and you were mad at me,' I said as I laid my head on his chest.
'That's still no excuse for laughing at you.'
'It's water under the bridge, I'm just glad that you're here now,' I replied.
He let out a relieved sigh and took my face in his huge hands. His mouth was on mine then, and I melted. I kissed him back, my heart pounding while my breathing turned to panting and my arms went around his waist. When I started to get dizzy, he pulled away and buried his face in the crook of my neck.
When my breathing was under control, I pulled back and looked into his eyes.
'I'm sorry for running from you. I just got overwhelmed and didn't know what to do. The only thing that made sense was to run,' I said, hoping that I had explained myself sufficiently.
'Trust me, that kiss made up for everything,' he laughed. I smiled and he held me tighter.
I buried my face in his chest. 'It was my first,' I whispered.
'What?' he asked as his dark eyes bore into mine.
'It was my first kiss,' I said, the blood rushing quickly to my cheeks.
'Oh, Matt,' he sighed as he kissed the top of my head.
I don't know how long we stood there, but after a while, my legs started to get tired.
'I better go. It's late,' he said as he pulled away from me.
'No! Don't leave. Stay with me tonight. Please,' I said urgently. His face softened and he took me in his arms again.
'Ok,' he said simply.
After I turned off all the lights, I led him up to my room. I excused myself and went to put on my pajamas: a worn out t-shirt and pajama pants. Not very nice looking, but comfortable. When I returned to my room, Carter was sitting on my bed waiting for me.
'Do you mind if I sleep in my underwear?' he asked.
My heart sped up at the thought of him in his underwear. 'I don't mind at all if you sleep in your underwear,' I said with a devilish grin.
He laughed and started to undress. Watching him was better than porn. When he pulled off his sweater, the muscles in his arms and chest rippled, making my pulse pound even more. But I almost fainted when he took off his jeans. His muscular butt looked breathtaking in his well-fitting boxers and he was obviously well endowed, just like I imagined. When he was finished with the show, he laid down on the bed and reached out to me.
My bed was a queen sized, but he was just so big! He took up half the space! I quickly crawled into his arms and rested my head on his perfect chest, relishing the warmth of him.
''Night, Matt,' he whispered as he kissed me on the forehead and squeezed me.
'Goodnight, Carter. I'm really glad you came tonight,' I said, stifling a yawn.
'Me too,' he said sleepily.
He hummed an unintelligible lullaby softly in my ear, and in a surprisingly good voice. I snuggled closer to him and drifted off to sleep.
To be continued........