I sat out on the balcony, The sun began to appear from behind the massive buildings which seemed to go beyond the sky. A gentle breeze ran through my hair and tickled my half naked body. The distant sounds of the city were muffled up here and even though thousands of people carried out daily routines, living another day of their lives far below, it was quiet this far above the ground. You could feel like part of something but have enough privacy to walk around in your boxer shorts. I watched down below as people hurried down the sidewalk, crossed roads, left and entered buildings. I lived in a penthouse on the top floor of a hotel with my boyfriend. I could sit here all day, just watching, never getting bored. More of the sun became apparent as it rose over the skyscrapers. The sky was perfectly blue and there wasn't a cloud in sight. I got up and stepped through the sliding door, closing it behind me. With the door closed, the sounds of the city seemed even quieter. I walked through our apartment and jumped onto the bed, I lay back and closed my eyes, running my hand over my smooth stomach. I opened my eyes and tilted my head to one side, looking at the photos on our bedside table. My favourite photo was of us one day we had gone to the statue of liberty, we had asked some old woman to take a photo of us. A mix of disgust and confusion spread across her face when he held hands and kissed for the photo, we just smiled and thanked her before running away. Life had been perfect, nothing could be better, I had always wanted to come here, and then a few months ago my dream finally came true, it's a long story but, my boyfriend, Alex surprised me, taking me to live in New York.

I smiled at the photo before getting up and stripping my boxers off, I walked through the beautifully decorated apartment and got into the shower, it was a huge walk in shower with more than enough room for two people, which proved very useful for Alex and I as you can probably imagine. I pressed the button on the wall, prompting a torrent of hot water to fall over my sleepy body. Every morning I woke up and sat on the balcony for a while before getting a shower, since it was the morning I was facing the curse all men face, my morning wood. I wrapped my soft hand around my throbbing cock. I slid my hand along the length of the shaft, enjoying the sensation of hot water falling all over my body. I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes, picturing Alex. I kept pumping my hand, after a while I combined my rapid hand action with a slight hip thrust. I moved my hips, thrusting my cock in and out of my tight grip. I closed my eyes even tighter as I started to feel the pressure build deep in my balls. I tried to imagine Alex was with me. His big, strong hands travelling all over my body. His beautiful blue eyes looking into mine, his blonde hair wet under the roasting water. Alex hadn't changed at all since the day I met him, he was still just as beautiful. His dazzling eyes still found their way to my heart when he looked at me. I opened my eyes and shifted my gaze down to my throbbing, twitching, purple headed monster. I watching as what looked like pints of cum shot into the water. I closed my eyes again, breathing heavily while the water ran over my face and trailed down my chest and legs. When I had finally recovered from my orgasm I washed my hair quickly before stepping out of the shower, I dried myself off quickly, I started to tie the towel around my waist before remembering I had complete privacy up here. I threw the towel in the washing and walked back to our bedroom, my limp cock swaying when I walked. I opened up a drawer and took out a pair of Alex's boxer shorts. I pulled on a pair of loose fitting trousers. I looked through the wardrobe and pulled out the first t shirt I seen, it had a picture of me and Alex on it, we had it custom made as a souvenir one weekend we were in Las Vegas. I giggled, putting it away again before pulling out a long sleeve white top. I raised my arms pulling it down over my toned body. I checked myself in the mirror, raising my head to catch a glimpse of my own face, I hardly recognized myself anymore. Alex hadn't changed at all, but me on the other hand, I had put on weight and had a slight hint of stubble forming on my chin and the sides of my face, I felt like I had grown up a lot even though I was only nineteen, I had developed emotionally and physically, what doesn't kill you only strengthens what remains, that's what they say right? Well that basically sums up my entire life.

I walked back to the bathroom, opening up the medicine cabinet, I lifted out a small glass container and unscrewed the cap, I tipped out two small white pills, and put the container away again, as I closed the cabinet I was greeted with the site of my 'new' face again, that's what Alex called it. He said I had a new face and I looked like a fully grown man with my stubble. I smiled at the thought of him, I couldn't help but smile when he entered my mind, or entered me elsewhere for that matter. I poured myself a glass of water and took a large gulp, swallowing one of the pills, I looked down at the other one. The small white pill lay in my hand, I knew I should swallow it, but it seemed to repel me, I found it strange, I wanted to be like a normal person, I didn't want to have to take these pills everyday... but they were what kept me as normal as I would ever get. I'm bipolar. A while ago, I had a bit of a breakdown, I stopped eating, had bad thoughts, couldn't control myself when it came to sex, my life fell apart one night when I smashed Alex's house, wrongly thinking he had cheated on me, since that night I had taken my pills everyday, promising myself I would never hurt him like that again. But now I felt better, I felt fine, I didn't need these pills, nothing could hurt me, I felt invincible, without giving it a second thought I crushed the pill in my hand before spilling it into the glass still half full of water. I stared at the powder swirling round in the glass and then poured it down the sink, running the tap to get rid of any evidence. I put on a pair of shoes before grabbing my keys and leaving.

I smiled at Norman, he worked in the hotel, he was a pretty old man and I guessed he wouldn't be around much longer, but I'm glad he was still here, Norman was friendly and I had told him about me and Alex one day, and everything we had gone through, he kinda acted like he was my uncle. I pressed the button, calling the elevator, a ding sounded and the doors open, I stepped inside pressing the ground floor button, the doors slid closed, but as they did I seen Norman standing lifeless on the other side of the door, staring at me with a wicked grin spread across his lifeless face, it had replaced his normally sincere, cute old man smile. I pressed the ground floor button repeatedly starting to panic as he slowly began to walk towards the elevator, the creepy smile remained on his face as he edged closer to me. Finally the doors closed fully. I breathed a quick sigh of relief as I watched different numbers light up above the door, telling me what floor I had reached, suddenly the elevator jolted, knocking me off balance, I fell back but managed to grab hold of a brass rail which ran round the elevator. The light flickered before going off. I breathed quietly, scared to move, darkness surrounded me. The light flickered back on quickly, It went on and off for a few seconds. Finally they stayed off, I heard heavy breathing, overcoming the quiet sound of my gentle breath, the light flickered on again and I gasped in horror as I saw the face of Norman inches away from my own, the wicked grin etched on his face disgusted and terrified me. I shut my eyes and began to whisper Alex's name, I felt a rush of air hit my face, startled, I opened my eyes, shocked to see the hotel lobby in front of me, the elevator doors were open and light poured through them. Immediately I stepped out of the elevator, quickly walking across the lobby and out of the hotel.

Once I was out on the street, I looked left and right, people dodged me and side stepped me, like an obstacle in the way of their busy lives. I breathed a quick sigh of relief, still confused at what I had just imagined. I lifted my head and squinted my eyes at the sun, trying to put the horrific ordeal behind me I began walking, I became an ant just like all the rest of them, getting on with my life, walking down the side walk and across roads and streets.

I arrived at work about ten minutes later. I was the manager of one of Alex's parents businesses, a restaurant just around the corner from where Alex and I lived. I got through the busy day, but something about this morning frightened me, I already regretted not taking my pills, a mistake I promised not to make again.

Finally nine O'clock came and I was free to go, it had been a long and busy day, and a weird one at that, I began walking home after locking the restaurant. We closed early on Sundays. The sun was dim now and the air was slightly cooler, a sharp, cold wind blew through me, leaving me shivering. I walked faster, finally arriving home. I saw flashing lights outside the hotel, a police car and an ambulance sat outside. I panicked, wondering what had happened, I ran down the street and hopped up the small set of steps, people sat in the lobby, looked upset and startled. The hotel manager had a grim look on his face. I slipped through the crowds, sneaking behind the police and began to run up the stairs, I didn't wanted to take the elevator again. By the time I reached the top floor where our pent house was located I was panting and out of breath, I forced my exhausted legs to run to the door of our apartment, I fought to get my key in the door and scrambled inside, I closed the door firmly behind me. I looked and seen Alex on the balcony, shirtless, his arms resting on the railing of the balcony, and his head tilted, looking down below. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing he was safe. I gasped in horror as I observed Alex's muscled arms flex, lifting himself of the ground, I began panting, feeling lifeless, helpless, worthless, as he threw his toned leg over the balcony, he sat on the railing, slowly, as if in slow motion I seen him disappear. I blinked and he was back, his bare arms leaning on the balcony, his blonde hair blowing as he looked over the balcony, I rand through the apartment and burst onto the balcony, he turned to look at me and I sank into him, plunging my head into his smooth chest, instinctively he wrapped his arms around me. "You heard, I cant believe it either, its horrible". Confused, I decided to keep my hallucinations from him. I withdrew my head from his chest slightly, parting from the warmth of his soft skin. "What happened here, what's with the police?"

I felt Alex's firm hand pull my head back onto his chest, once again I felt his hot, smooth skin on my face. "Oh Dan, it's Norman, he took a heart attack". I turned my head to one side, not wanting to break contact with Alex. "What, oh my God, is he ok?". My concern grew as I felt Alex's arms wrap even tighter around me, he held me tight, holding my body close to his, I could feel his heartbeat on the side of my face, it grew faster as he began. "I'm so sorry Dan, he's dead". I closed my eyes, trying to fight back the tears. I pulled away from Alex, suddenly feeling cold. I ran back through the apartment and down the never ending stairs. People gasped as they witnessed me sprint through the lobby, now I saw what the people had been so distraught over earlier. A body bag sat in the lobby. Instantly, my hand went to my mouth before I ran over to my lifeless guardian. I was grabbed by a police officer. "I'm sorry son you cant go any closer, I'm going to have to ask you to stand back". I tried desperately to struggle out of the arms of the policeman. "But, please, I need to see him". The officer only tightned his grip, succeeding to restrain the younger, smaller man struggling against him. "Listen son, unless you're family you'll have to stand back". I stropped struggling and fell silent, my protests were useless, I stood in the lobby motionless. "But he doesn't have any, I mean, family, he was alone". A single tear rolled down my tanned cheek before dripping to the floor. I felt the officer loosen his grip slightly before letting go completely, he patted me on the back, urging me forward. Slowly, I crept towards Norman's empty body, as if trying not to wake the sleeping old man. I stood over what was once a happy old man, his body was pale, lifeless, he looked peaceful. But that didn't make this any easier to deal with. Just earlier today, I had seen him. Then I remember my vision earlier, and how scared I had been of him. I turned to walk away just in time, I seen Alex storming towards me, he had thrown on a t shirt. I walked towards him and he threw his arms around me. He rested his head on my shoulder and whispered calming words in my ear. Then Alex took my hand and led me upstairs.

When we reached the top floor he lead me to the bedroom and laid me down on the bed. He sat down next to me and placed his hand gently but firmly on my leg, he put his free hand on my shoulder, reaching around me, pulling me close to his familiar chest. "It's so unfair Alex, why did he have to die?" I pleaded with Alex for answers, I knew he couldn't help me, but I still felt the need to ask. "Because that's life, everything has to end sometime". Alex's words made sense, so simple but so true. He planted small kisses on my forehead, brushing my hair out of my face. He gently laid me back on the bed. I closed my eyes as I felt Alex kiss my forehead again, then my nose and finally me lips, I opened my eyes to find his blue crystal eyes staring now staring into mine. I wrapped my hand around his neck and pulled him towards me. His tongue invaded my mouth with no opposition from me. His tongue swirled around mine, sending waves of pleasure throughout my trembling body. His wet tongue filled my mouth. His lips parted from mine, leaving me begging for more. He pulled his shirt off again. I followed suit and tore my own off. Alex brought his lips crashing down on my neck, I tossed my head back giving him room to suck and lick freely. He took the opportunity and sucked wildly at my neck. As my moans grew louder he decided to move on and I felt his lips glide from my neck to my chest and my nipples. I felt his tongue drag around my small, rock hard nipples. He sucked at them passionately, biting them gently, feeling his mouth on any part of my body drove me wild, I moaned uncontrollably. "Oh fuck, Alex I love you, you're amazing, I love the way your mouth feels on my skin." Alex couldn't reply because his mouth was busy licking all over my stomach. His lips pressed down firmly all over my abs. Finally he reached the waistband of my trousers. He placed his hands on my lower back, gently lifting me up, with one hand, he supported my body, holding me in the air, and with the other one he slowly pulled my trousers off, now only his boxers were left on me now. A smile spread across Alex's face when he seen I was wearing his boxers. I wore them all the time, but he always found it cute, he said it was kinky in a way. I winked at him, signalling for him to continue. He simply nodded at me before running his mouth over the outline of my bulge, I felt the silk press against my aching cock. "Babe please stop teasing me, fuck me now please". "Sorry babe, you're just gonna have to wait a little longer". Alex lowered his head again, I watched as his teeth plucked at the waistband of the boxers I couldn't wait for him to remove, success, he used his teeth to pull off my boxers. Immediately my cock sprang to action, almost hitting Alex in the face. Alex looked up at me and laughed. He brought his lips across my throbbing head and took my cock into his waiting mouth. I gasped in pleasure immediately letting out moans already. His beautiful pink lips glided effortlessly over my now wet dick. He brought his mouth up again and planted a small kiss on the tip of my dick before beating my cock of his small, pink lips. The impact of my cock bouncing of his lips only served to make me even harder, taking me into his mouth again he swirled his tongue madly around my purple head. I watched as he easily engulfed my eight inch hard on, he had become quite an experience pro at sucking cock in our time together and before long he was deepthroating my twitching cock. I felt his warm lips press against my balls, his hot mouth drove me crazy when my cock hit the back of his throat. "Alex, you've done it I'm gonna cum". Alex placed his hand on my inner thigh and tried to push his mouth further down my meat. I gasped before spilling my hot load into his hungry mouth, I heard his throat gulp as he swallowed my fluid. He lifted his head and looking up at me with his blue eyes he dragged the back of his hand across his mouth, wiping my cum from the corners of his mouth. "Fuck me". Desperation was clear in my voice. "My pleasure". Alex took a quick breath before sucking the back of my balls and eating my ass. I moaned even louder than I had as he sucked me off. His tongue penetrated my hole and loosened my tight ass, making me wet.

Before long, I felt his swolled head press against my hole, he wasted no time pushing his cock inside me, inch by inch he entered me. Almost immediately I felt his cock press against my prostate and hiss hairy balls rest against my ass. Alex was on his knees with me on my back and my legs wide apart. Alex placed his strong, manly hands on my legs and threw my feet over his broad shoulders. I felt totally comfortable with him, he placed his hands on my hips and began thrusting furiously, withdrawing fully before slamming inside me again. He pounded my hold furiously, making my whole body feel weak. I managed to open my eyes to look up at Alex, His head was back and he was sweating wildly. We let out moans together, sharing the pleasure of being intimate and having sex. He pulled out and his cock popped out of my whole, short strands of cum sprayed from his cock, he pushed his cock back into me and picked up pace again, furiously pounding my weak hole. "Oh yeah Alex, fuck me as hard as you can, I wanna feel all your strength". Alex panted heavily, "If that's what you want baby". I felt Alex tighten his grip on my hips as he lifted my ass of the bed slightly. He slammed into me with new energy. He was practically screaming by now. "Dan, I'm gonna cum in you ok?" by the sound of Alex's voice he was about to enjoy a mind blowing, load blowing orgasm. "Go for it". Alex slammed his hips against my ass and blew his amazing load inside me. He took a deep breath of air.

Then he collapsed onto my chest which heaved in and out with each breath I took, Alex rolled of me and lay next to me, both of us breathing heavily. I rolled over, draping my arm across Alex's perfect chest, I snuggled into his warm armpit and by instinct he put his arm around me, protecting me like he always did. We were both exhausted after the best sex either of us had ever had. I wished he could keep fucking me like that all night, but lie Alex said, everything has to end sometime.

My eyes slowly opened, I felt Danny wriggle slightly, trying to snuggle closer to my body, his hair tickled my chest, my arm was wrapped around him loosely. With my free hand I rubbed my eyes, not looking forward to the thought of getting up for work. I looked down at Danny, he was sound asleep. Slowly I pulled my arm out from under him, careful not to wake him, I sat on the edge of the bed and turned my head to look back at Dan, he was still asleep but he looked less peaceful now I wasn't with him, I wanted to lie in bed with him all morning, to snuggle him and wrap my arms around him but I knew I had to get up for work. I got up and grabbed a quick shower. I stepped out of the shower and dried myself quickly before heading back to our room naked, Dan was still asleep so I got dressed quietly. I put on a pair of boxer shorts and trousers, I pulled out a white shirt and buttoned it up, I pulled out a suit jacket and pulled it on, putting in one of the buttons. I undid the top few buttons of my shirt. I quietly crept towards Dan and brushed the hair from his face so I could kiss him goodbye, I slowly closed the door behind me and briskly walked towards the elevator, when the doors opened at the ground floor I stepped out and was reminded of yesterday's events, everyone looked grim today to say the least, I crept past the few people who stood about, trying to keep my head down. I began my daily walk to work, I had been given a company car but rarely used it, I enjoyed getting some fresh air in the morning.

I finally arrived at work, I worked in an office, managing the finance of some of my parent's businesses. I knew this was going to be a long day since my mind was elsewhere, Monday mornings were usually difficult enough but today was an exception, I knew Dan would be upset, I just hoped he remembered to take his pills. I struggled to focus on the pages full of numbers in front of me, I was normally good at my job but I just couldn't concentrate today. I gave up and closed the books in front of me. I picked up my things and threw them in my brief case. I left the room almost as quickly as I had entered it. I walked home quickly looking forward to being back with Dan.

I was filled with excitement as the elevator made its ascent to the top floor, finally the doors opened and I couldn't get to our apartment fast enough. I opened the door and heard the sound of running water, Dan must have been in the showers. I kicked of my shoes and hobbled towards the en suite as I pulled of my socks, I stripped of my jacket and pulled of my shirt. Finally pulling of my trousers I stood in my boxers, I crept through the bedroom, opening the door of the bathroom quietly, I pulled of my boxers leaving my whole body exposed and Dan's for the taking. I watched him through the glass door of the shower. He had his back to me and was leaning with his arms against the wall. Water poured down his perfect body, the sight of his bubble butt clenched tight made my blood flow. I pulled open the shower door stepping inside, Danny jumped and turned quickly but smiled when he seen me. "Why are you home?" I chose not to answer his question and put my mouth to better use. I wasted no time in reaching my neck around his and nibbling on his earlobe. I felt his hands press on my waist pulling my wet body close to his. My pelvis pressed into his. My lips glided from his ear to his small, pink lips, as soon as our lips touched a bolt of excitement shot from my lips right down to my toes. I nibbled on Dan's lips enjoying the taste of his mouth. I pushed his head back, giving me room to chew on his neck. Danny moaned in pleasure as I fed on him with my hungry mouth. I pushed his body against the wall forcefully, letting him know that for now I was in charge. I placed my bigger hands on his waist, lifting him, instantly he wrapped his legs around my waste. My stiff cock slid along his crack and pressed against him as if it had a mind of its own, great minds think alike I guess. "Fuck me Alex, right here, right now". "I don't need told twice". Supporting him with one hand I used a hand to guide my cock into his empty hole, I felt my head press against his hole, slowly I pushed my throbbing cock inside him, making him gasp and moan in ecstasy. I pushed him against the wall harder, realising the need for something to lean him against while I fucked him. I felt my balls touch his body, signalling I was fully within him, I stood like this for a few minutes, enjoying the sensation of being in him, kissing his neck while the hot water poured over us both.

When I felt his ass relax, I slowly slid in and out of him, his hole stretching to accommodate my meat. I pulled out so only the swollen tip of my cock remained in Dan, then I thrust myself back into him making him nearly scream with pleasure. His moans allowed me to pound harder, encouraging me to fuck him faster and deeper regardless of how tired I was, I felt a sudden burst of excitement run through my body as I unexpectedly ejaculated in him, I gasped in disbelief at how quickly I had came, Dan gasped too, looking him in the eye now, I just kept fucking him, slamming my aching cock into him, so tender and sensitive it was hurting to fuck him. I gasped and moaned with a mix of pain and pleasure, Dan moaned louder than ever as he shot his load, his cock pointed directly upwards as I held him in my arms, his thick cum landed all over my chest with some hitting my face. Exhausted, I leaned into him, kissing his shoulder gently. My legs went weak as I came for a second time, I had been determined to keep fucking him after my orgasm, desperate to make him cum, and my efforts had paid off, he stood panting wildly as the water continued to run down our bodies, I tilted my head back, letting the water run down my face, washing Dan's cum off me.

We stepped out of the shower together I wrapped a huge towel around us both, I put my arms around him and draped the towel over his exhausted body, he snuggled against my chest, I openly shared my warmth with him. When we had dried off we went back to the bedroom and lay down together, we lay side by side with our arms behind each others necks. We lay in silence, only the gentle sound of our breathing could be heard in the room. "Alex, there's something I need to do". "What is it?" I lay with my eyes open facing the ceiling. "A little while ago, Norman told me hadn't been feeling very well, he gave me this address, told me if anything ever happened to down to his room with a spare key he gave me and take something of his to the address he gave me." I lay confused. "What do you have to take to the address" I asked, still confused as to what was going on. I don't know, he just told me it was in the top drawer of the table next to his bed. "Ok, we'll go now". We got up and got dressed before heading down to Norman's room, all the staff had rooms on the second floor. We went to the one we had seen Norman go into at the end of his shifts and tried the key in the door, a quick click sounded and the door opened. We crept inside, his living space was extraordinarily neat, everything was in it's place with not one bit of mess to be seen. Not wanting to intrude on the space Dan led me to the bedroom quickly, there were old black and white photos, we assumed they were Norman and his family, taken while he was growing up. Dan opened the bedside table and pulled out a small package, it had the same address on it as the note Norman had given Danny one day. Attached to it was a small, slightly crumpled label and on it was written, "To my brother Harry". Dan then pulled another small brown package out of the drawer, he read the annotations out loud "To young Daniel, the closest thing I ever had to a son". I approached Dan and put my arm around him, slowly he unwrapped the package as he stood, not shaking or trembling, he held himself together despite the tough situation, I felt proud as I watched him. When the packaging was finally unwrapped, Dan held a small antique medicine container. Dan smiled and folded the wrapper back over the gift before tucking it safely in his pocket, he turned to me, signalling for us to leave on our journey which would see us become messengers to Dan's old friend.

We made our way outside and got into my company car, I entered the address into my Sat Nav and it turned out to be a pretty long drive which would probably take us a couple of hours. I drove and talked to Danny while we made our way on our pilgrimage, we drove further and further away from the city before eventually arriving in a small, suburban neighbourhood. I pulled up outside a pleasant house with a well tamed garden out the front. Dan stepped out of the car while I got out but leaned on the door, I decided to wait at the car and enjoy the pleasant surroundings while Dan completed our journey. He walked up the small path to the house, he knocked on the door and a few seconds later it opened, a man in his fifties stood at the door, surprised to find a strange young man waiting on the doorstep, Dan handed him the package after quickly exchanging words with Norman's brother. Then they shared a gentlemanly handshake before the man disappeared back into his house, Dan walked back up the path and got into the car, taking a quick look around a got back into the car too and began to drive away. "Well, how did he take the news?" Dan was looking out the window, silently taking in the small neighbourhood. "Ok, I mean, obviously he was upset, but he took it better than I thought he would". I took one hand of the wheel and rubbed Dan's leg. "I know this can't have been easy on you, losing Norman, but the last thing he would want would be for you to stop taking your pills Dan." Dan cut me off, he looked shocked at what he thought were accusations. "I know, I have been taking them". The rest of the journey home was silent with only an occasional word from either of us, I didn't mean to hurt Dan but apparently I had, I was worried about him, he just didn't see it that way. What I didn't know is that things were going to get worse before they got better


I sat in a small café, I smiled at the tanned, browned hair woman as she set down a coffee and a croissant in front of me. I was sat in the corner of the small café on my laptop, looking through some files, finally I found what I had been looking for, a file on a certain client, or patient of mine, Daniel Robinson, I checked his current address and some of his statistics, making sure I had found the right person, then content with my success in locating Daniel, I closed my laptop and smiled as I sipped my coffee. Once I had finished, I paid and tipped the waitress, and then set off, I had a plane to catch.


I woke up lying on my side, Alex and I had taken the day off, it was the day of Norman's funeral. I lay on my side and stared out the window, when I lived at home with my parents I would lie in bed and gaze at pictures of New York, now I got to admire the real thing. Alex lay on the other side of the bed, for the last few nights we hadn't slept touching each other, each of us just lay on our own side of the bed, he had tried to put his arms around me every night but I just wriggled away, a couple of days ago he had acussed me of not taking my pills, I couldn't believe he didn't have more faith in me, I know I'm overreacting and he probably didn't mean it that way, but I guess I just have a lot on my mind at the minute. I sat up, rubbing my eyes, today was going to be tough, and I knew I would need Alex more than ever. Norman had been like a father figure to me since we arrived here.

I felt Alex place his soft hand on my shoulder, I turned and seen him lying on his side with one hand behind his head, the cover was folded back revealing his perfectly toned upper body but concealing from the waist down. "Good morning beautiful". "Good morning". I laid back down and rested my head on his stomach, I felt his hand gently brush my hair from my face. "We should get ready". I didn't want to be late today. "Yeah, I was just about to get up and get a shower, care to join me?" I felt a smile creep across my face "I'd love to". Alex and I showered together, he massaged my body gently but didn't try anything on. We stepped out of the shower and got dried before getting dressed. We both wore suits and black ties.

I cried the whole way through the service, it was beautiful but horrific. I thought nothing was going to cheer me up but at least I knew this day couldn't get any worse, that's were I was wrong. I opened the door to our apartment to find a ghost from the past sitting in our living room, they sat with a wicked smile on their face, pleased with the shock they had left on my face, I had no idea how they had found me but they did, I stared at them in disbelief. "Aren't you going to say hello?" They had a mix of sarcasm and pleasure in their voice. "Olivia?" I smiled at my old friend and once the shock had sunk in I ran to rug her, I threw my arms around her and held her for the first time in months. I spun her around in the air and as I did I saw Alex leaning against the wall with a clever smile in his face, he must have invited her. He backed out of the room, giving us some time alone. We sat and talked, just like old times. I explained what life was like here, and about Norman, and she informed me she was here on vacation and going home later today, I was upset but I was still glad to see her. "So anyway, enough about me and Alex, what's happening with you at home?" I was eager to hear what had happened in my absence. "Well, actually there is one, rather big piece of news." Olivia reached out and grabbed my hand, placing it one her stomach. "Pretty soon I'm gonna hear the pitter patter of little feet". A huge smile spread across my face, I couldn't believe Olivia was pregnant. "Oh, wow, congratulations, who's the lucky guy?" Olivia smiled. "Well, it's you, you hugged me too tight when you came into the room". I tilted my head to the side and laughed at Olivia's cheeky remark. "Seriously though, who is it?" The suspense was killing me by this point. "It's Kevin's". "Oh my god, you two? Jesus Olivia you couldn't wait to get rid of me could you?" I laughed with Olivia and we talked about her pregnancy and made plans for me to visit when the baby was born and for her and Kevin to come here, oh and their baby off course. When it came to her leaving I was upset, I didn't want her to go so soon, it was like she had just gotten here. I hugged her tight and kissed her on the cheek before walking downstairs with her. Just as she left I saw Alex come up the steps at the front of the hotel. He smiled at me and took my hand. "Well?" Alex asked, inquiring as to how our reunion had gone. "It was great, thank you". "It's fine, I heard she was in town so I secretly arranged for her to see you, thought you might need some cheering up." "Well in that case it worked".

We arrived back in the room and got changed. We both threw on sweats and t shirts before settling down to watch TV. We turned of all the lights before closing the curtains and finding something to watch, Alex got a blanket to put over us, he sat in the corner of our corner sofa and I lay down flat with my head rested on his lap. I felt happy and secure as I slowly drifted to sleep.



I watched the end of a film we had been watching before turning the TV off, I sat for a few minutes watching out the window while Dan slept on my lap, then I turned my attention back to the sleeping beauty, slowly I lifted his perfect, resting body and began carrying to the body, gently I set him down on the bed and began undressing him, I successfully managed to pull of his top without waking me and then I began to pull of his trousers, his head moved slightly and his eyes twitched slightly before opening in shock horror, immediately he jumped away from me. "What the fuck are you doing Alex?" Danny seemed afraid and shocked. "You fell asleep I was just" I tried desperately to explain but Dan cut me off before I had the chance. "How fucking horny do you have to be to rape your boyfriend?" Dan now seemed more angry than anything else. "No, Dan, that's not..." "Don't try fucking lying, do you not understand what I've gone through today? I fucking guess not, you just have to get some" I started to see a different side to Dan, I was scared and upset, I felt a lump form in my throat and tears form in my eyes. "Dan, please stop, you're scaring me." I pleaded with Dan to stop his abuse but he seemed relentless. "I don't care Alex, I'm sick of this, you're constantly at work and then you think you can just strip me while I'm asleep? Argh, you're so fucking selfish, just like all your dickhead friends from home, you're only after one thing!" Dan screamed at me with pure hatred in his eyes. I couldn't take it anymore, I opened the wardrobe and pulled out a small bag I used for the gym. I went through the drawers and cupboards taking out some things I would need for the next couple of days. "Dan sat on the bed and stared at me, his eyes looked different, like they were full of hate. I wanted this all to be a bad dream and hoped I would wake up any second. "Oh, so now you're just gonna piss off, that's amazing thanks Alex". I started crying at that point, I couldn't believe the way he was talking to me, it felt like I had been stabbed repeatedly, I had never felt pain like this before, Dan sat in silence after those last words. I left most of my clothes, planning to return in a few days when he had calmed down, when I had packed everything I would need for the next few days. I reached the doorway and without turning back to look at the enraged Dan I tried to hide the pain in my voice when I said goodbye to him. "I'll be back soon Daniel, I love you", there was no reply, only silence, painful, soul crushing silence. I walked out of the apartment with tears rolling down my face, I reached the lobby shocked to be confronted by a whole new nightmare although I didn't know it yet, I was stopped by a man who seemed familiar although I didn't know why, he was about to make things much more difficult for me tonight.



It had been almost an hour since Alex left, I sat on our bed crying, feeling alone, desperate for him to come back, I didn't know why I had said those horrible things, I couldn't get his face out of my mind, how upset he had been, I didn't even say goodbye. I got up and walked out to the balcony, as usual, lights could be seen everywhere, people having normal nights while my life split into tiny pieces. I couldn't believe what had happened tonight, I never thought I would find myself in this position. I put my head in my hands, somehow hoping by some miracle this would all go away.



I cried, and cried, and just kept crying. I had been left with no other choice. I lifted a knife, and dragged it across my wrists, wincing in pain, I watched as the blood poured from my arms, I felt dizzy at the blood loss already, then hoping to end my pain, I brought the knife to my throat, and quickly pulled it across my neck, slicing the skin causing blood to pour over my white top.



I jerked forward, waking in a cold sweat, I had been having the worst dream, Alex and I had broken up, he left and I didn't even say goodbye, and then he slit his wrists before committing suicide, thank god it had only been a dream. I panted, trying to catch my breath while wiping sweat from my forehead, I turned to check on Alex who was still sleeping only to find he wasn't there, his side of the bed was almost perfect and clearly hadn't been slept in, suddenly I realised that he actually had left, only the suicide part was a dream, the horrible feeling of loneliness returned when I heard a knock at the door, suddenly I found myself excited, I found myself smiling as I sprang up and ran towards the door, desperate to have the chance to apologise to Alex and make it up to him. I opened the door to a beautiful man, who honestly I had not expected to see tonight. He was a man in his mid thirties with short brown hair and big brown eyes, he flashed his perfect smile at me. "Jack? Why are you here, how did you find me?" I stared at the second ghost from my past to be brought back into my life today, I couldn't believe the man who I had ditched at the last minute was here, the night Alex had left me. "I had to see you, I cant give up on you, so I checked your files, found out you were living here, can I come in?" I thought about the situation for a second and then reluctantly stepped aside, allowing my former psychiatrist to come in. He smiled at me as he stepped through the door. "Sorry if I seem a little upset, but I hadn't expected to see you, and well, it's been a tough night." I didn't want to tell him about Alex, but I knew he would worm it out of me. "Talk to me, you know it's good to talk about your problems. "He left me tonight, I snapped at him for no reason, and he just left." I broke down and started crying at admitting my relationship had failed. Jack laid his hand on my lap, but it wasn't comforting the way Alex's was, I felt uncomfortable and didn't want him touching me. Then he leaned across and kissed me on the cheek, the feel of his lips didn't send bolts of electricity through my body the way Alex's did, instead it made my skin crawl. I pulled my head back, happy to have broken the contact between us. "Get out, now go!" He didn't put up a fight, instead he just got up and walked towards the door, but before he left he uttered words which scared me, words which sent chills down my spine. "Alex won't come back to you." His voice sounded robotic. "You don't know that." I protested, determined not to let him walk all over me. "Yes I do." And with that he slammed the door, leaving me alone, confused, upset and scared, I sat on my own, quivering, for the first time I didn't have Alex to protect me, and I didn't like it.

Thanks everyone for reading! There's more coming up from Danny and Alex in the new year so keep your eyes open for the next instalment! Please let me know what you think by emailing me or by leaving a review and let me know how you want to happen next! JS


Jason Smyth

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