Once I was outside, I took a deep breath. The night air was cool for a change and it felt good; but not as good as Jason had made me feel. Our times together were getting better and better - despite our little setbacks. And the sex was... well, it was pretty good too.

I glanced up at his bedroom window and saw the light still on. I wanted to call out and wave goodbye but I couldn't risk waking Mr. and Mrs. Shaw. It was difficult to leave, but I knew I had to; at least for a while. I quietly walked down the driveway and searched for my keys; knowing that I would see him again soon.

"You looking for these" he said, dangling my car keys from his fingertips.

I looked up and saw Kyle pressed against the passenger side of my car, his arms resting on the roof.

"Yeah, thanks"

"You were in such a hurry to get up there that you left them in the ignition."

"Did I?"

Kyle tossed me the keys, "you were practically sprinting for the door. If I'd known you were going to be up there all fucking night I would have left a long time ago."

"So why didn't you?"

"What, and miss the show? I had front row seats to the best fuck I've seen in a long time."

His comment made me cringe and I asked him to stop.

"Why"

"He read the text messages you sent. Why did you do that?"

"So what - let's just go."

We got in the car and took off down the street. Kyle flipped the radio on and asked 'how was it'.

"How was what?"

He looked over at me for a moment before punching me in the shoulder. "The sex pansy boy - how was the sex?"

When I didn't answer him right away, he told me that it must have been good enough the way I was hanging out of the bedroom window. "The look on your face was priceless dude. Did you even notice me standing underneath you?"

"Yeah, I saw you." How could I not? Once I was out the window and I opened my eyes, he was standing in the grass probably 10 feet beneath me. I mean he was RIGHT there! I can't believe Jason didn't see him. I can't imagine what would have happened if he had.

"It was fucking hot bro - when I saw the look on your face as he was pounding your sweet little ass, I couldn't help myself."

"I can't believe you." I glanced over at him and he had a big smile on his face. The truth is, having Jason's dick up my ass and having someone watch me was more than I could handle. That's why I blew my load on Jason's wall. It didn't matter that it was Kyle.

"I know right? Shit - that was intense! Whew!"

I could see that Kyle was getting worked up again, and seeing him this way was getting me worked up too; I decided to pull the car over. He asked me what I was doing and I told him I needed to stop.

"Why"

"Cuz..."

"Cuz why?"

I turned in the driver's seat to look at him and asked why he didn't leave.

"I already told you; I wanted to watch. What's the matter with you? You know I like to watch you" and he lightly punched me in the shoulder.

There had been too many times I had taken a load to the face after he'd watched me get fucked by one of the guys on the team - especially if we had just lost a match. I did it out of loyalty to the team, and to Kyle - it's what we did - it's what was expected of us underclassmen. He had been the brother I never had and I knew he wouldn't let me get hurt, but something had changed. I didn't like it anymore.

I took the punch to the shoulder, but rather than feeling good about it, I was mad.

"I don't want you watching me anymore - okay?"

"Uh, okay? What the deal?"

"I don't like it."

"Since when?"

"Since ALWAYS!"

Kyle's surprise was palpable, and so was his anger at the disrespect I was showing him. I was nervous, but I had had enough.

"I'm not doing this anymore!" I shouted and got out of the car. Slamming the car door behind me, I started to walk back towards Jason's house. I had to tell him how I really felt. I heard the other door open and slam, and then the sound of footsteps rushing towards me from behind.

As I turned, Kyle jumped me and we both fell to the ground. I heard a 'crunch' as the back of my head made contact with the pavement. Kyle climbed on top of me and smacked me hard in the face.

"Who the fuck do you think you are to talk to me that way!?!" he shouted I struggled against him, but he was using everything he had to keep me on the ground. I knew if he pinned me, it was over. I wasn't going to let him win - not again. I was able to get my arm under his and against waist. When I tried to leverage my leg and roll him off to the side, I felt a glimmer of hope.

But it didn't work. Kyle knew was I was doing; shit - he taught me that move. As I pushed up against him, he rose up and I only managed to roll myself over on to my stomach before he was right back on top of me again. I should have known better.

I heard him say 'nice try'. He grabbed and twisted my right hand and wrist, then pushed it up between my shoulders - wrenching my arm. I tried to use my left arm to push him off balance, but that's when he wrapped his other arm around my neck and grabbed his other forearm as an anchor. His head was low against mine and I felt his breath against my face, "you think you can get out of this little brother?"

With strained voice I told him he wasn't my brother, "...you never were - asshole..." and then I began to see stars.

He was choking me out.

I felt my body go weak and then nothing.

Doug's body went limp on the pavement. Kyle yanked on him a few more times to be sure he was out and then rolled him over onto his back and checked to make sure he was still breathing. Once he heard his breath, he relaxed and his head fell between his arms.

"Fuck," he said between his heavy breaths, "...why did you have to do that?"

Kyle got up, grabbed Doug under his arms, and dragged him back to the car.

"Jesus he's big" he said as he pulled him along the gravel strewn pavement, "...what do you weight now anyway - 185 - 190?" Doug was still unconscious when Kyle pulled him across the backseat of the car. He went around closing the other door and looked in at the young man he had taken under his wing. He thought about the first time he had seen Doug come into the weight room; he was tough. He didn't look it, but Kyle saw it in him. He just needed a little coaching and he would be a contender for state. Kyle smirked when he remembered the look on Doug's face when he had won his first match. He was so proud.

"Now look at you...," he remarked, "...I thought you knew better."

Kyle got in the driver's seat and drove out to Melbourne's farm. He figured he had enough time to make it before Doug woke up and started swinging again. He was right. The car went around the back of the farm house, lights off, and Kyle slipped the keys under the front seat. He watched the dust on the road drifting away and was enveloped in silence.

He sat there for some time before he heard Doug moving in the back seat. He decided to give him some space and got out of the car. As the door closed, Doug came around.

"Come on sleepy head - time to get up" Kyle hollered pounding on the roof of the car.

"Ohh...my head" and then I coughed several times, grasping my neck in pain. I sat up and my vision started to clear. It was dark - really dark. I couldn't tell where we were, but I heard Kyle stomping around the car, and then the rear door opened.

"Come on..." he said as he reached his arm in and offered me a hand.

I hesitated for a moment and then took it. He pulled gently, but my shoulder screamed back at me.

"FUCK! NOT SO HARD!" I yelped

"Come on you fucking baby - I didn't twist it that bad."

I slid to the edge of the back seat and planted my feet on the ground. Kyle had taken several steps back and was watching me. I rubbed my shoulder and rotated my arm.

"You could have broken it you asshole."

"I doubt that"

I looked up at him; he was standing a good ten feet away with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Now what," I asked

"I thought you could use some breathing room to clear your head."

I looked around and realized where we were.

"What do I need to clear..." I coughed again, "...my head about?"

"Jason Shaw"

"What about him?"

"You're falling for him Doug. You're not supposed to fall for the mark. It's a game - remember?"

I did remember, but I didn't like it. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. I was just supposed to pick someone - anyone; and do what I had to do. Then I was in. It's what all the seniors on the wrestling team did. It's what Kyle did to me. But I screwed up - big time. I had picked a senior on the basketball team instead of a potential wrestling underclassman.

"What do you want me to do Kyle? I told you I would make it right!"

"I want you to end it. If it gets out that you and Jason are fuck buddies, I'm ruined! And so are you. You can kiss that wrestling scholarship goodbye."

End it? How could I end it? I told him it was probably too late for that anyway.

"What? Why?"

"My dad already knows and so do Jason's parents."

"What do they know?"

I didn't what to answer him. It was true, I had fallen for Jason. He was more then I had been prepared for and more than I could have even imagined. He made me feel like I could do anything, and I liked that; no I loved that. I loved him! Oh my god - I love him!

"What do they know Doug?" he repeated.

"They know about us; about Jason and me. They know we're in a relationship."

"A relationship!?! A fucking relationship!?!"

I cringed at the sound of his voice.

"Your dad knows? Jesus!"

"Yes he knows, why do you think I was in the hospital? He found out and beat the shit out of me!"

"I thought he was on another one of his benders and he went too far! Why didn't you tell me?" he demanded

"This is why!" I yelled back at him. I stood up and walked off into the darkness.

I heard Kyle yell 'fuck' into the night. I kept on walking until I heard him ask me where I was going and then I started to run.

I ran as fast and as far as I could. And when I didn't think I could run anymore, I pushed through it and ran even further - into the barbed wire pasture fencing. I hit it with such force I thought I went through it - only I didn't. The first two lines gave way, but the lower line held and I fell atop the wires into the grass on the other side and rolled - the barbs tore at my chest, arms, stomach, and legs.

I screamed out into the darkness. The pain was intolerable. It didn't matter which way I moved, the barbs tugged and tore at me. I was trapped in the tangled mess of cattle wire. Kyle came a few minutes later.

"Holy shit!"

"OH MY GOD - HELP ME KYLE" I screamed at him. I reached out for him and felt a barb pull at my arm; I was crying out in pain.

"KYLE!"

He stood there a moment, then turned and ran away.

"KYLE!!!"

 

Christian Crowne

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