Matt, the Fainting Musclebottom

Dave drove me and Matt around Brisbane, showing me their favorite places.

“I contemplated taking you to the Koala Sanctuary Park”, Dave said during lunch at Matt’s favorite restaurant, Guilty Rogue.

“Oh my God!”, I said immediately. The thought of petting a koala got me immediately excited. “That’s so typically Australian, we should do that while we’re here, right?”, I added.

Matt looked at me with a bemused look on his face.

“I mean, we can…”, he said.

“Please!?”, I asked him, as I put my hand on his back and stroked him.

Dave laughed at Matt’s reaction.

“I had a feeling the two of you wouldn’t be equally excited about this”, he said.

“They can be such tourist traps though”, Matt said.

As my hand went down Matt’s back, I felt the waistband of his thong sticking out the back of his jeans. I looked and noticed I could look straight down into the jeans at the two globes of his ass. I immediately felt my cock thickening. Automatically, my hand went down into the back of Matt’s jeans, only for a little while. Thankfully the chairs had full backs and Matt was seated by the window. I looked back up and wanted to make sure Dave didn’t notice. He looked straight at me, smiled, and winked. He knew.

“All right, we’ll go somewhere next week”, Matt said. “We can take Jim and Holly and the kids.”

“That’s me off the hook then”, Dave said. “Those animals smell.”

We all laughed.

We ended up driving around some more, with Matt showing me more of his favorite spots in Brisbane. We got out of the car a few times to walk around. I saw his favorite park, his favorite bar, and eventually we stopped at his favorite bakery. We bought a pie to bring to Dave and Nat’s. Nat was going to get home from work soon and we wanted to go and surprise her by cooking dinner. However, once we got to Dave and Nat’s apartment, we put our groceries away and got distracted by Dave’s Nintendo Wii. By the time Nat got home we were 6 races deep into a Mario Kart marathon. Either way she was so surprised and happy to see us. We had Chinese food delivered and had a great night in, chatting, laughing, drinking, and playing on the Nintendo. Nat was so excited about the DNA Magazine proposal Matt had gotten, he decided then and there to text Sarah that he would go through with it. We celebrated with some bubbly wine. We didn’t drink too much, as Dave’s bachelor party was the next day.

The next morning I woke up and I noticed Matt had been looking at me while I was sleeping.

“Hey”, he said.

“Hey…”, I heard my sleepy voice say.

“I love you”, he said.

“I… I love you too.”

“I can smell Mum’s making us eggs.”

“Oh… Great.”

At breakfast, Shannan said she didn’t like she had barely seen us the day before.

“Tomorrow we’ll be hungover so we will be around the house quite a lot, I imagine”, Matt said.

Shannan smiled. She seemed genuinely happy with that.

“We’re going to get home quite late tonight though, are you sure you won’t mind?”, Matt said.

I now remembered he had suggested staying in a hotel after the bachelor party, so we could have some time to ourselves and so we wouldn’t disturb Shannan.

“Oh, absolutely not! When you were younger I used to lie awake when you were going out. But now I’m sure I will be sleeping soundly by the time you get back. There’s no waking me up, no worries!”

Matt looked at me. I just smiled and continued eating.

Matt then proceeded to tell his mother about the call he got from DNA Magazine and she was so surprised and clearly proud of her son.

“I’m desperate for the gym after all the food and booze from last night”, Matt said that morning. We found the nearest gym and Matt didn’t waste any time to hit the machines. I was on a treadmill that looked out over the entire gym and was able to watch him do arms, chest, abs, and back. It was quite a full gym, mainly tough-looking gym studs. After 30 minutes on the treadmill to warm up and lifting some weights for my arms, I walked up to Matt. I never lasted very long in the gym, I thought most of the exercises were boring. I preferred to go running or do an actual sport.

Matt was doing pull-ups. I looked at him in his blue T-shirt and black shorts. I looked him up and down. His massive, muscular legs got my attention. I saw there was a slight stubble on them. Matt noticed me and got down on the ground.

“Hey babe”, he said as he gave me a hug. Our sweaty bodies collided, I smelled his musky sweat, and I wanted more than a hug.

“Bored already?”, he asked.

“Yeah”, I admitted.

“It’s fine. Just let me do some squats and I’m good for a few days.”

While Matt walked to the squat rack, his shorts creeping up his butt, I knew watching him was the best part of going to the gym together. I sat on a mat nearby and watched him bend over to adjust the weight. He got positioned and placed the weight on his shoulders. He started squatting and the view of his ass turned me on so much. I was wearing tight briefs, but I still tried to cover myself as casually as I could in case anyone would see my erection. Matt’s shorts were working hard from the start of the squatting exercise, but he started going lower and lower until I heard an actual rip. I saw that the seat of his shorts had started giving way to his bulging bubble butt. The shorts had a tiny rip in the middle. Matt hadn’t heard or felt the rip clearly, because he kept going. On the next squat the entire seat ripped open to the extent that I saw he was wearing his black jockstrap, the straps of which clung tightly to his glutes. I even saw his beautiful pink hole.

Then I heard Matt gasp. He knew he had split his shorts. He carefully put the barbell back. Some of the guys who were lifting weights around him were sniggering or even laughing. I wanted to stand up and help cover him, but I was pretty sure I had just leaked precum and was worried I might be showing too much myself. I pulled my tanktop down to cover the crotch of my shorts and I waddled over. Matt looked at one of the floor-length mirrors.

“I split my shorts!”, he said.

“I saw!”, I replied.

I blocked the view for most of the other gym-goers, but in the process, I couldn’t help but squeeze one of Matt’s cheeks.

“Can we leave?”, Matt asked.

“Yes”, I said firmly.

Because the gym wasn’t too far away, I drove Matt to his Mom’s place. We hadn’t brought a change of clothes, as we hadn’t planned to shower at the gym. So this was our only choice to sort of save Matt’s modesty. It was the first time I was driving on the left side of the road in a car with the steering wheel on the right. I had to focus more than usual, but I did fine. During the drive, Matt said how embarrassed he was, but that he was happy I was there.

“I know you felt embarrassed, but it was fucking hot to watch”, I admitted.

Matt laughed. In the corner of my eye I could see him look down in embarrassment.

“Did you get a boner?”

“Oh absolutely”, I replied.

“It happens quite frequently back home”, he then said. “Why do you think I own so many gym shorts?”

“Are… are you teasing me?”

“Maybe”

I laughed.

It was only a short drive. When we got to the apartment, Shannan was on the phone. She waved at us, but didn’t really look. Matt and I snuck to our bathroom without her seeing his ripped shorts. Matt showered first. I walked to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. Shannan was still talking on the phone. I walked out onto the balcony. I looked at my watch and saw we still had about an hour before we had to leave for Dave’s bachelor party. I walked back to the bathroom and saw Matt shaving his legs under the shower.

“Oh, hey”, he said. “Just doing a little body shaving.”

In over a year I had never actually seen him shave his body. But he was almost always meticulously hairless.

“Do… do you need help?”

“Well… I guess. I already did most of it. Back of the legs and butt?”, he asked carefully, as if I would say no.

I took my clothes off. Matt handed me the razor. I took some shaving cream and went at it. I took my time, and in the end I spread his cheeks to shave any last of the hair from his hole.

“Careful…”, Matt said.

But I was being careful. Once he was fully hairless, the way he likes it, and honestly, the way I like it, I licked his hole. Matt grunted.

“That was just my reward for my efforts”, I said as I got up.

Matt turned around and he was fully erect. He bit his lip.

“That was hot”, he said. “You can help more often.”

I smiled. I grabbed his uncircumcised dick.

“Are you sure you shaved all over?”

Matt gasped. With my other hand I grazed my hand across his chest which was smooth and shiny with the water cascading down his body. My hand wandered across his body and I could feel my own dick rising. Matt’s hand was on it in no time.

“Do you boys want me to make you some lunch?”, Shannan’s voice came through the bathroom door.

Matt immediately let go of my dick. I looked at him in panic. Did she know it was the two of us in here?

“That would be great! Thanks Mum!”

I stayed quiet. Only then I let go of his penis. We got out of the shower.

After lunch we took an Uber to the city center. Matt as the best man had to organise the bachelor party, but he got some help from a good friend of Dave’s called Nathan. Dave knew when the so-called ‘buck’s night’ was going to take place, but knew nothing about the planned activities. Matt said that Dave had explicitly said no strippers.

“I don’t blame him, there’s just something inherently awkward about being in a strip club”, Matt said. “And it’s a weird tradition. He said he only wants to touch Natalie’s body, which is pretty sweet. But that Nathan guy is a stripper himself, so he didn’t get it. I had to convince him.”

“Maybe Nathan can give us a show instead”, I said.

“You would like that, wouldn’t you?”, Matt teased me.

I laughed and gave him a kiss.

“I have to tell you something else. You remember how at my Dad’s it was mentioned I once dated a rugby teammate?”

“Yeah?”

“He’s probably going to be there today. He and Dave are still friends.”

“Oh. OK!”, I said, maybe trying too hard to look OK with it, but I didn’t really know how I felt.

“Wanted to let you know beforehand. Technically he’s not out, but Dave knows he and I dated. I’m not sure who else knows. So I’m not sure how to handle it.”

“That makes two of us”, I said.

“Well, the break-up was fine, so I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

“He let you go without a fight? What a fool.”

Matt laughed.

When we got to the agreed place, there were 8 of us. Dave quickly introduced all of us as we stood in a circle.

“This is Brayden, Nat’s brother”, he said as he put his arm on the shoulder of the very attractive Asian guy next to him.

“These are two of my current rugby teammates, Joe and Dan”, Dave continued as he pointed to one heavy-set guy, who looked like he had ethnic roots in one of the Pacific Islands, and the other guy who was quite short, but definitely built like a rugby player.

“Dan’s my ex”, I then suddenly heard Matt whisper in my ear.

I had to look him over more carefully now. He had short black hair, a square jawline, and dimples when he smiled. He may have been on the shorter side, but suddenly I found him sexier than myself on every possible aspect. His broad build made me especially insecure.

“…Nathan is my gym buddy”, I heard Dave finish introducing the next person. The male stripper also had a very attractive face and a muscular build.

“Then there’s Pete, my neighbour”, Dave continued. The short guy standing next to me was also incredibly sexy, with a dark blond quiff.

“And my former teammate, best mate and best man, Matt and his boyfriend Alex”.

I waved awkwardly to the group.

“So, I don’t know why we’re here, Matt and Nath, please lead the way!”

“We’re going this way”, Nathan pointed. I stopped Matt and said, “is it just me or are all of these guys really hot?”

Matt raised an eyebrow and without missing a beat, said, “it’s an Aussie thing”, and continued walking.

The first part of the day was an escape room, which I had never done before. I was pretty committed to the task. I saw that the athletes were specifically competitive. I got distracted at times by all of the sexy guys. Matt, Dave, and Nathan sat on the floor trying to complete some puzzle, their big butts stretching their tight jeans.

“Babe!”, I then heard Matt say. “My man can do maths, come here!”

I sat on the floor between my boyfriend and Nathan, and saw that the 3D puzzle had turned into an addition in the thousands. I tried to think quickly.

“9,034”, I said.

“Is it 9034?”, Matt shouted at Joe who was standing by a small locker with a combination lock.

I saw Joe working the lock and soon it opened.

“Yes!”, Matt, Dave, and Nathan all shouted.

In the locker was a clue to the next part of the puzzle. It was quite fun to do. I wasn’t surprised when finally we managed to escape the escape room with minutes to spare. It had felt like a real team effort. There was a group hug to celebrate.

We took two taxis to the next surprise which was outdoor go-karting. I thought I would be really bad at it, as I am quite a careful driver. But after getting used to the kart, I did OK. Matt ended last and got shit from Pete and Nathan, who had been the fastest. Before the karting began, Dave was already pointing at the Slingshot ride next to the track.

“Are we doing that next?”, he had asked.

It wasn’t part of the plan, but the bachelor had asked for it, so now it had to become part of the plan. There wasn’t even that long a line. Dave and Brayden went first, followed by Nathan and Pete.

“I’m not sure I can do this”, Matt then told me. He looked at Nathan and Pete being catapulted into the air and he seemed a bit scared.

“It’s OK if you don’t want to do it”, I said.

Joe and Dan went next.

“Are you going by yourself if I don’t join you?”

I hesitated. I didn’t want to go on the ride by myself, but if I said no, I knew Matt would insist to join me. I decided to be honest.

“No, I’d rather go together”, I admitted.

Matt looked down.

When it was our turn, I noticed Matt looked nervous. But he allowed himself to get strapped in.

“Matt, you’re going to be fine!”, Dave shouted from the ground.

I grabbed Matt’s hand. He was trembling. I couldn’t really look him in the face with the way we were strapped in.

“You are”, I said.

“Thanks, babe”, he said, his voice sounding nervous.

“Are you boys ready?”, the man operating the ride said.

“I… I guess”, I said. Matt didn’t answer.

“3….2…..1!”, the man said.

And we were catapulted into the sky in lightning speed. It was actually really cool and exciting. Once we got as high as we were going to go, the elastic pulled us back down and we went upside down. I could feel my stomach turning around as I saw Matt’s limbs flail in the air. He must have passed out. His knee touched mine and his arms went over his head and back as we did somersaults high up in the air.

I saw his hands quickly go back to the handles, as he was clearly waking up.

“Fucking hell!”, he shouted, and his arms went up in the air again.

The ride slowed down slightly, but was still pulling us up and down. Matt woke up a second time and immediately grabbed my knee.

“Babe? I’m scared!”, he was able to get out before he lost consciousness again.

The ride came to a standstill.

“Babe?”, I asked in turn. I could see Matt’s arms hanging down and if I angled my head I could see his nose and open mouth.

“Are you OK?”, I asked.

There was no reaction. I could feel that we were taken back down. There was no movement from Matt while this was happening. As we got lowered back to the ground, I could see the other guys waiting for us and pointing at Matt, laughing.

“Did he pass out?!”, Nathan shouted.

Dave looked at me, shrugging and smiling.

Matt came to when the man who operated the ride undid his buckle.

“Alex?”, was the first thing that came out of his mouth.

“I’m right here, babe”, I said.

“That was so fucking scary”, he replied.

“Are you OK though?”

“Yeah…. A little light-headed. And I don’t remember much of the whole thing.”

I smiled.

When we stepped down and joined the others, they immediately made fun of Matt. He laughed with them and handled it well. The guys insisted we paid extra so that the clip of Matt passing out would be posted on YouTube.

Afterwards it was time for a nice dinner. I sat across from Dave, who sat next to Nathan. On my left was Brayden. I chatted with Brayden for a little bit, and he was really nice guy. He said he had seen the picture Dave, Natalie, Matt, and I had taken in front of the Golden Gate bridge.

“Nat had no idea she would be proposed to later during that trip. I had no idea either at the time. Dave did quickly say something to Matt though. But he didn’t tell me until later.”

We had Dave tell the story of how he proposed in Seattle.

A little later I overheard Nathan say to Dave: “You’re such a fruit fly with all these gay and bi guys as your friends!”

Dave laughed.

“Hold up”, I said, which got even more laughs from both Dave and Nathan.

“Who at this table is gay or bi?”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Nathan McPherson”, Nathan replied, shaking my hand. “Registered bisexual”.

I laughed, as did Brayden and Dave.

“Pete’s gay too, isn’t he?”, Brayden asked Dave.

Dave nodded. “And then there’s Dan, I’m sure Matt told you…”, he looked at me.

I nodded back.

“I hope he feels OK to be himself tonight… I kind of hope something happens between him and Pete tonight, they’ve never met before.”

“Why not with Nathan?”, I asked.

“Yeah Dave, mate, why not with me?”

“Hayley would bury me alive”, he replied.

We all laughed. Nathan already had a girlfriend.

The drinks had flowed during dinner. Now it was time for the final activity. We went into two taxis again and went to a club called The GPO. It was in an old, Victorian style building. The GPO thanked its name to what the building was originally built for, the General Post Office. We got our own private VIP-booth, which already had some drinks at the table. This was bound to be a good party. The music was electronic dance and we were having a great time.

A few hours later I was definitely drunk. I had laughed so much my cheeks were hurting and my feet felt heavy from dancing. Dave and I were sitting down in the booth, chatting. Dave asked about Matt’s fainting.

“Do you feel like it’s getting better? Is he going to his doctor’s appointments?”

“It’s mainly the same. Doctor says they’re experimenting with a surgery so he might get news about that soon. But it’s not really bothering that much of his life right now.”

“Yeah, it was mainly with the rugby that he felt it ruined his life.”

“Now it’s mostly when he orgasms from anal penetration”, I said.

“What?”, Dave said.

I just realized what I had said.

“Uhmm. Yeah. So you didn’t know”, I said, looking straight ahead, not having to face Dave.

Dave laughed.

“I had no idea!”

“Please pretend I didn’t tell you”, I started laughing myself.

“Done! I am blocking that out! Don’t want to picture that!”

We laughed so hard, I thought I was going to wet myself.

Not much later, Nathan was also sitting next to us. We spotted Matt talking to Dan.

“You don’t think I have anything to worry about, do I?”

“I don’t think so, from what Matt tells me he’s head over heels in love with ya, mate”, Dave said.

“I know… But that Dan guy is pretty fucking hot.”

“And, sorry to tell you”, Nathan started, “when I got drunk at Dave’s birthday and decided to strip, I gave him a lap dance. Guy grew a huge boner.”

“Not helping”, I said.

Just then, Matt laughed at Dan’s joke and put his hand on Dan’s chest.

“Oh God. I’m going to have to go over.”

“You mark your territory, I need a wee”, Dave said.

I walked over to where Matt and Dan were standing. Matt had his back to me and couldn’t see me coming. The closer I got, the more paranoid I became, as I thought they looked extremely hot as a couple. Matt was talking and Dan was listening intently, it’s like I could feel their chemistry. I stood next to Matt, when Dan saw me and he immediately started laughing.

“…I swear to God, his cock is almost as thick as my wrist”, was the last of what I caught from Matt’s story to Dan.

“Oh, hey babe”, he then said when he saw me. “We were just talking about you.”

By Matt’s eyes I could tell he was drunk.

“I know so much about you now”, Dan said, mockingly.

I was so happy I could cry.

To be continued…