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A Marine Called Jason

Part V

Brad and Jase, the Son

Chapter Thirty-Nine

The Journey Home

Jase had never been on a plane before. He'd never even been up close to one, and he seemed a little apprehensive as we went to board.

"This thing is huge," he said.

"Yes. I still wonder how they get them off the ground," I said. I looked at him and he looked a little pale. "Don't worry, once you're in the air, if the weather's good, it's like sitting in a chair at home," I said, trying to reassure him.

When we boarded, I switched seats, letting him have the window seat. I told the stewardess when she came by. She looked at Jase and smiled and nodded. I could tell he was scared as we started to taxi down the runway, and I reached over and squeezed his leg, high on his thigh. He tightened the muscle in response; it was like rock. Perhaps I shouldn't have, but I left my hand there, even tightened my grip as we taxied and took off. I let go only after we had leveled off.

"Thanks," he said quietly, under his breath, and I was glad I'd done it.

Jase was quiet for much of the flight. I thought he would be full of questions, but he gazed out the window, and dozed, and didn't say much. I was delighted with his surprise when they began serving lunch. He couldn't believe they actually had meals on an airplane.

I dozed, too, and dreamed of things past. They weren't dreams actually, but recollections in a fog. A couple of times they became too real and I came awake with a lurch.

Our flight was late arriving in Los Angeles so we didn't have a layover. In fact, we had to rush to catch our connecting flight to Indianapolis. We exited the plane out from the terminal and when he reached the bottom step he paused then set his right foot, then his left, on the tarmac as if it were sacred ground.

"I am standing on American soil," he said.

I choked up as I realized what this meant to him. What it should mean to all of us. "Yes, you are," I said, smiling. We were holding up the other passengers on the stairs but they didn't seem to mind as he went to his hands and knees to kiss the tarmac.

The flight across country was more interesting and Jase tried to guess which state we were flying over. I could tell he was getting anxious about being in the United States.

By the time we got to Indianapolis Jase seemed to be more relaxed about flying. We got our bags and took a shuttle to the parking facility where I paid half the national debt to retrieve my car.

"Listen, I'm too tired to drive, so we're going to get a room," I told him.

"I wish I knew how to drive, I could drive for you," he said.

"I'll teach you," I said.

I checked us into a motel, asking for two beds, but they only had rooms with king beds.

"I don't know how big a king size bed is, but we'll fit; we fit on my cot," Jase chimed in.

I glanced at the desk clerk but she showed no indication that she thought anything of his remark. I couldn't say anything to him about it, of course; he had said it in all innocence, and it had been just that, not counting the fact that we both had hardons that night in his cot. After checking in I drove us to a Denny's to get something to eat. I never thought or realized that it was the first time Jase had seen a real American fast food restaurant till we were seated and he was looking at their very sizeable menu.

"They actually have all this stuff to eat?" he asked, turning the plastic pages.

"Yes. Just pick out what want."

"I don't know what some of this stuff is," he said.

"Order by the picture then," I said.

It took him several minutes to go over the menu. He wasn't scanning it, he was studying it. I had to send the waitress away twice till he made up his mind. Finally we ordered; Jason by pointing to one of the pictures, then he sat looking around, taking in his surroundings.

"We are in the state of Indiana, in the capitol city of Indianapolis," he said.

"That's right."

"Ohio is to the east and Illinois is to the west." He paused to think for a moment. "Kentucky is to the south and Michigan is to the north. That's where Lake Michigan is."

"You learned your geography well," I said.

"I just thought of something! This is where the famous Indy 500 race is run!"

"Yes. Would you like to see the track?"

"Yess!" he said excitedly.

Jason was wide-eyed when the waitress came with our orders. "I've never seen so much food on one plate!" he exclaimed. "THis would feed four of us back at the orphanage." He ate heartily, to say the least. At one point when he was eating, he seemed embarrassed. "I shouldn't eat so much," he said.

"You eat all you want. Any time you want. There is no shortage of food here," I told him. When I was sure he'd eaten his fill we went back to the motel. I let him use the shower first. It was a rewarding sight to watch him undress; he was so casual about it that I didn't think he was even aware that I was watching him. He wore his briefs into the bathroom and I wondered if he intended to put them back on, for he didn't take a clean pair in with him.

I lay on the bed flipping channels, waiting with baited breath for him to finish. Then I realized that the shower wasn't running. I got up and tapped on the bathroom door.

"Jason, is everything all right?"

He blurted, "I don't know how to use this thing."

Yeah, it was going to take time. I went in and showed him how to use the shower. He took a long time in it.

I choked down a tiny gasp when he came out. I had seen his youthful beauty, but not this view, from the front, totally naked. He was stunning, and most impressive. His stomach muscles rippled as he drew the towel back and forth across his shoulders, his sizeable cock jiggled and swung against his thighs, causing my mouth to water. I swallowed hard, trying not to look, but I couldn't help myself. His manhood might have been overpowering except for the rest of his body. It swung out about six inches, soft and thick, with a large head sticking out of a generous collar of soft looking skin. His balls complimented his cock, held high in their sack, nearly smooth.

"I left the water running for you," he said.

I'd heard it, but wasn't paying any attention.

"Okay, thanks," I said, getting up from the bed.

"Is it okay if I sleep like this? They didn't allow me to at the orphanage."

"Sure, it's okay. It's just you and me," I said.

I lingered long enough to watch him cock one foot up on the chair to dry between his legs then I escaped to the safety of the bathroom with a longing glimpse at his butt. I needed the shower; sweat was running down my armpits. I wondered again how I was going to pull this off, having a seventeen-year-old god under my roof; and more urgently, how I was going to survive having him naked in my bed for the night. I took my time in the shower, hoping to give the boy time to get to sleep before I crawled into bed with him. I thought about sleeping in the chair, but he would've questioned that, and felt bad about taking the bed for himself. How would I explain that I was afraid I couldn't keep my hands off of him?

When I came out of the bathroom I got another jolt, one of many that would jar my brain over the weeks and months ahead. He was lying stretched out across the bed on his stomach, already asleep, bare-assed naked; the only thing covered were his feet and ankles. His right leg was cocked out from the other, creating a wonderfully inviting V between his thighs that framed his loose-hanging balls draped over his soft, thick cock laying back between his legs. I put my hand to my mouth as 'Oh, My Godd' came to mind while I stood drying off with my eyes glued to his youthful beauty. I realized my mouth was watering again at the sight of his gorgeous, high and tight butt, and I had to swallow my spit.

I can't do this, I thought. But of course I would. There was no backing out. Seeing him lying there like that, taking up much of the bed, gave me the excuse I needed to use the chair; I simply didn't trust myself. I turned off the TV and turned out the lights. There was light shining in through a crack in the drapes that cast the room in a soft glow, and I left the drapes parted. I didn't care if anyone could see in. What a beautiful sight they would see. I pulled the chairs closer together so I could cock my feet up and then tried to get comfortable. It wasn't, but I was determined to endure. I dozed fitfully, unable to find a comfortable position. One time when I woke up I saw a guy actually peeking in through the crack in the drapes! I just smiled. Eat your heart out, I thought.

I finally fell into a deeper sleep but was awakened again, this time by Jase shaking my shoulder. I jumped.

"You take the bed," he said.

"I was sleeping just fine," I grumbled.

"You'll have a stiff neck. You take the bed, give me the chairs. I didn't know you weren't going to sleep in the bed."

"You were sprawled out and I didn't want to wake you," I said, thinking better a stiff neck than a stiff cock.

But he kept squeezing my shoulder, urging me to relinquish the chairs. "Come on, I'm not taking your bed. If you're not sleeping in it, I'm not either. I'll sleep on the floor. So you might as well take it," he threatened.

"Okay, we'll both fit," I said as I got up out of the chairs.

Jase went around to the other side and stretched out, this time hugging the edge of the bed to give me room. I turned on my side, facing the window, leaving space between us. I didn't trust myself even to look at him. I finally fell asleep from pure emotional exhaustion. But I woke up again to a new horror. Jase was lying spooned up against me with his arm thrown over me, draped down over my chest, snoring softly. I was afraid to move. I knew I shouldn't stay there in that position but I didn't want to wake him. I found the strength to ignore my feelings and drive the thoughts from my mind. Sleep deprivation eventually caused me to go into a sound sleep that I didn't wake up from till Jase opened the drapes to let the sun shine in.

He was dressed, smiling mischievously.

"You better get up before people see you," he said.

I didn't tell him that somebody had already been peeking in at him. He wanted to go back to Denny's to eat breakfast. Then he reminded me about going to the track.

At Denny's, he ordered toast and milk and orange juice. I suspected why he was ordering so light, because he'd eaten so much the night before. I took the menu from the waitress and told her we needed another minute.

"Let's get something straight, Jase. There are no food shortages here. You can eat all you want, anything you want, just about any time you want."

"But it costs a lot of money," he said.

"You don't have to worry about that. I'm not wealthy, but I can afford to feed you," I said. I handed the menu back to him. "Now order breakfast."

He seemed relieved, and he ate well. After breakfast I drove to the track in Speedway. Jase was so excited to see the entrance with the big sign, and the stands as we drove by it. I turned into one of the open gates leading under the track.

"We're going inside?" he asked excitedly.

"There's a museum with all kinds of cars, and sometimes they take you for a ride around the track," I said.

"In one of the race cars?"

"No, in a van or a small bus, but you get to see the entire track and get the feel of it, the turns, and the way it banks."

We took the ride around the track first. Jase was so excited he could hardly sit still.

"Maybe we can get back over here when the cars are running," I said.

"They let you in when the cars are running?"

"Yes, it's called the time trials. That's when the drivers practice, and they have to qualify. I like it better than the race itself. You can go down in gasoline alley and see the drivers."

"You've actually been to a race?"

"Yes. Once, when I was in high school."

The driver took us around two of the turns at a high rate of speed but then slowed down as he began explaining the "Yard of Bricks."

"The Yard of Bricks is some of the most hallowed ground in worldwide motorsports. In the fall 1909, five Indiana manufacturers supplied 3.2 million paving bricks, each weighing 9.5 pounds, that were laid on top of the original surface of crushed rock and tar to upgrade the Speedway. It took 63 days. Gradually over the ensuing years asphalt was added to various section of the brick surface, with patches added to rougher sections of the turns in 1936 and all turns being completely paved with asphalt in 1937. Then in 1938, the entire track was paved with asphalt except for the middle portion of the front straightaway."

"In 1961, the remaining bricks on the front straightaway were covered with asphalt. Except for a 36-inch strip of the original bricks that were kept intact and exposed at the start/finish line, where it has become the fabled Yard of Bricks."

The driver let us out to walk along the Yard of Bricks. Jase was fascinated with the story. After the ride, we went to the museum.

"Does this all cost a lot?" Jase asked as I was paying to get in.

"Will you stop worrying about it?"

We spent over two hours in the museum. On the way out I steered Jase into the gift shop, intending to buy him something. But each time he picked something up and I asked him if he would like to have it, he told me no. We left the track and headed home.

Traveling by car, Jase seemed to open up, where he had been unusually quiet on the flights. He was in awe of the broad plains of Indiana farmland and how one person could own so much land and produce so much crops and livestock.'

"A man who owns a water buffalo considers himself rich back home," he said. "How many cattle do these people own?"

"Sometimes only a few; sometimes hundreds, even thousands," I said.

"They must be very wealthy," he said.

"Some are."

At one point he asked if we were almost there. He knew we were going to Ohio.

"No," I said. "We're still in Indiana. Then we have to travel part way across Ohio."

"The United States is a very big country. We would've been all the way across Vietnam by now." A few miles later he said, "They have very big houses, and big barns. How many people live in the houses?"

"Sometimes just a man and his wife, sometimes they have children, maybe two or four or more," I said.

"They are still big houses even for that many people," he said. "We would fit that many in a hut."

"I know."

"I know most of the states," he added.

"Do you? Can you name them?"

I counted as he rattled off forty-four states.

"That's better than probably most kids who were born here could do," I said. "You're going to do okay in school."

"I've wondered if I would be going to school," he said.

"Of course you will," I said. "I don't know what grade, but high school."

"I know English and math well, and geography, and some history. The nuns taught us a lot about the United States, thinking that some of us would eventually come here someday," he said.

"They will probably test you to see what grade you should start in," I said.

He was quiet again for a long distance. I thought he was falling asleep but he'd been gazing out the window. He perked up when he saw the sign announcing the Ohio state line.

"We're in Ohio now," he announced.

"Yes, it won't be long now," I said. "You can sleep if you want; I'll wake you when we get there."

"I can't sleep," he said. He was still quiet, just gazing out the window at the countryside that was slowly being blanketed by the approaching dusk. I wondered what was going through his mind.

"You never said what I should call you, Mr. Courter, or Brad, or what?" he asked out of the blue.

"Brad," I said.

"All right. Brad," he said, nodding.

"And what should I call you, Jase or Jason?" I asked.

"I think Jason, like my dad. It sounds more grown up. But Jase is okay, too, like a nickname."

That should've settled it, but it didn't. I would end up calling him both. I smiled, with a warm feeling inside. I had a Jason on two levels of my life now. The one beside me, who, when I called, would answer as a boy on the threshold of young, virile manhood, and another of the same youth and virility of another time....one and the same, yet so different.

Chapter Forty


Oddly, where I lived had never come up in conversation or any of our letters, except that it was in Ohio. Jason was in awe of my place. He kept looking all around as I drove up the long, winding drive.

"This is all yours?" he asked.

"Yes, about as far as you can see from here," I said. "There's more land beyond the house. There's a woods and a creek, a great place to go swimming."

"The house is very big for one person," he said.

"Two, now," I said.

"Still very big. It would house four families."

"Most farm houses here are large, as you saw. They were built back when they used to have big families, and they sometimes kept a farmhand," I said.

When I pulled up to the porch, Jase got out and stood looking all around. I could only imagine what was going through his mind, probably thinking how wealthy I was. I got our bags out of the back--he had completely forgotten about his bag--and followed him up on the porch. I nodded for him to open the door and go inside. He was quiet as we stood in the kitchen. He seemed uneasy, as if he didn't think he belonged here, or that maybe he shouldn't go any further into the house without permission.

"Come on, I'll show you around," I said.

He remained quiet as I showed him through the house.

"Almost the entire orphanage could live here," he said.

I realized it was going to take a long time for him to get used to my way of life. I left his room till last. I was so proud as I opened the door. He seemed to sense that it might be his room, from the smile on his face; but it was a timid smile, almost as if he was afraid to believe it.

"This is your room," I said.

"My....mine....alone?" he stammered, standing in the doorway.

"Yes. My room is down the hall," I said. "Go on in, check it out."

"Wow!" It was all he said as he walked around the large room. He looked around then picked up the picture frame off the dresser. "Is this my father?" he asked.


He held it and continued looking at it for a long time. "Do you have other pictures of him?" he asked.

"Yes, I have others, but he never liked pictures of himself in dress uniform, so I framed those. I'll get them out and show you when you get settled in." I had a lot of others that I had hidden away, but it would be a long time before I showed him those; if I ever did.

He stood looking at the picture for a long time and I didn't say anything till he placed it back on the dresser.

"This is your dad's bed from his old room; this is all his furniture. His stuff is still in the drawers. I left everything for you to go through if you want to." I was hoping he didn't ask how I came by it, but he did.

"How did you get it?"

"When Jason's parents died, I was given the furniture for you," I said.

"So I don't have any grandparents," he said.

"No," I replied. I didn't mention my parents either. There was time for that.

He didn't ask anything else so I didn't have to tell him about Jason's brother, Allen. He didn't need to know that his blood uncle wanted nothing to do with him.

"That's your dad's football, too," I said, nodding to the football I'd placed against the pillow.

He picked it up and squeezed it, didn't say anything at first. "It's great the way you've made everything like my real home. I appreciate it."

"There's more," I said, motioning to the door.

Holding the football under one arm, he followed me. "Thank you, the room is really nice," he said again, looking back at his room.

I took him across the hall to the weight room.

"Wow! That's my dad!" he exclaimed excitedly when he saw the poster I'd had made of Jason in his PT shorts and boots.

"Yes, I thought he would be an inspiration for you."

He gazed at the poster as he dragged his fingers over the barbell resting on the rack, loaded with plates that I thought he might be able to handle. Seeing him now, I guessed he might add more.

"You said you were bigger, more handsome and stronger than all of your friends; we want to make sure you stay that way," I joked.

"I've only seen weights like this in a magazine," he said.

"You never worked out with weights?"


"How did you build all those muscles?"

He smiled and shrugged. "I guess I just got 'em, from him," he said, nodding to the poster.

I well knew where he got them. From the sperm that made him, and I smiled inside, realizing that I had swallowed billions of his would be 'brothers and sisters.'

"Are you hungry? Would you like something to eat before you go to bed?" I asked.

"No, I'm not hungry. I would like to just stay here," he said, looking across the hall to his room.

"Well, if you get hungry, you know where the kitchen is. I want you to feel free to help yourself to anything you find, any time," I said.

"I like to sleep without any clothes, like we did in the motel; is that all right?" he asked.

It came out of nowhere, surprising me, and I thought it was odd that he would ask. "Yes, of course. It's just you and me in the house, you can run around naked all you want," I said. "Even outside, we're way back off the road."

He looked at me, it seemed a rather longing look, and I thought he might want to hug me, but when he didn't make any move, I didn't either. I told him goodnight and left his room. He was still holding the football.

I couldn't sleep. I was as wound up as I thought Jase probably was. I couldn't quite grasp that I finally had him safely under my roof. When I finally dozed off I was awakened by sounds coming from down the hall. I sat up to listen more closely. It sounded like someone crying. I got up and went quietly down the hall to Jason's door. Sure enough I heard his sobs. I went in but hesitated, taken aback by the sight of the muscular, naked young boy lying on his stomach on the bed. I went in and sat on the edge of his bed and put my hand on his shoulder. He turned over on his back. I was even more taken aback, but tried to keep my emotions in check; in the proper channel of concern for the boy.

"Jase, what's the matter?" I asked as I instinctively laid my hand on his bare stomach. It was meant as a comforting gesture but I couldn't deny the surge of desire that went through me. His hard stomach muscles rippled and danced as he cried, his arms thrown over his face.

"Jase, you're okay here, you're safe here," I said.

"I know I am," he sobbed. "I just can't believe I'm here. I can't believe I'm here in this house, with you, and I can't believe all you've done for me."

"Well you are here and you're stuck with me, so you'd better get used to it," I chided him.

"It's going to take me a long time," he said, looking out from under his forearm.

"You've got all the time in the world," I said as I rubbed his stomach, not so much a comforting gesture now.

He finally calmed down and I patted his stomach and started to get up.

"Do you want to do anything with me?" he asked.

I looked at him. "What?"

"Do you want to have sex with me?"

I was stunned, and bewildered that he would ask such a thing. "No. No, of course not. Why would you ask that?"

"Because most men want to have sex when they get this close when I'm naked," he said.

My heart ached at the truth of what Sister Maria had been so afraid of. "That's not the way it is here, Jase," I said. "In the first place, in this country, a man having sex with you would be illegal. And here, you will be an American, accepted for who you are. You won't be having men get this close to you, except me."

"I will be an American?" he asked.

"Yes, of course, you are of American blood. It's just a matter of some paperwork," I said.

"All right, but if you do want to have sex with me, it's okay, I would never tell anybody," he said.

"No, Jase, I don't need to have sex with you," I said. I thought it odd the way it came out....not saying I didn't want to.

He was quiet, as if he were pondering what I'd said. Then his body became wracked with sobs again.

"Jase, what's the matter?" I brought my left leg up on his bed and leaned back against the headboard, sliding my hand under his head.

"I just can't believe I'm here with you," he said between sobs.

I brought my other leg up and scooted down on the bed, lying close against him. It might have been a mistake, pressing my naked body against his, but my concern for him overshadowed any desire I might have. I laid my arm across his chest and hugged him tight.

"It's okay, Jase. Cry all you want, I'll be right here. I'll always be right here for you."

I held him while he cried. I think his sobs wore him down and he finally went to sleep. I lay beside him, trying to ignore the feel of his warm, smooth, muscular body against my own, but not denying myself the view. I studied his body and gazed longingly at his sizeable manhood, reclined across his thigh; gazed so long that I could've drawn it from memory. I stayed with him as long as I dared, then carefully left his bed and went to my own room. How am I ever going to do this, I wondered.

The next morning, Jase came downstairs in a pair of baggy tan shorts and a T-shirt.

"You told me you couldn't sleep," I chided him.

"I did, though," he said with a sleepy smile.

"I didn't hear the shower running," I said.

He gave me a rather blank look and I remembered that I hadn't shown him the shower. I'd completely forgotten; and it was different from the one in the motel room.

"Come on, I'll show you," I said, turning off the stove. We went back upstairs where I showed him the bathroom and how to use the shower. I also flushed the toilette for good measure. Going by his room I noticed that the dresser drawers were ajar and there were clothes stacked on top of the dresser and on the floor. He had gone through his dad's old clothes. I wondered if the shorts and t-shirt he had on were his dad's since they fit him rather loosely. When he came down again, he looked bright-eyed and fresher and he was dressed in his traditional pajama-style pants and a T-shirt.

"His shorts and shirts fit me pretty well," he said, tugging on the front of the T-shirt. "A little big, but I'll grow into them."

"Good. He would be proud that you're wearing them. Two things we need to do after breakfast," I said. "Go to the grocery store--the market--and to the mall."

"What is the mall?" he asked.

"It's a place where there are many stores of all kinds. Like your market, only inside and all under one roof," I explained. Jase was going to stand out in his native pajama-style pants but I couldn't say anything.

Getting Jason acclimated to life in the Unites States was to be an experience for both of us. He was wide eyed at the grocery store. He literally stopped just inside the door and looked all around.

"This is all food?" he asked in amazement.

"Yes," I said as I took a cart.

"I think we could feed my whole country with all the food in this one store," he said.

I pushed the cart several yards then handed it over to him. He watched me closely as I picked things off the shelves and put them in the cart. I noticed the way people looked at him, but I didn't think he did.

"If you see something you think you might like, just grab it and put it in the cart," I told him. He started looking more closely at the stocked shelves.

"Anything?" he asked as he was about to reach for something.

"Anything you want," I said.

We went by the produce department. He wandered over to the deli and bakery but came back to where I was picking out fresh vegetables. He watched but didn't say anything. He picked up a couple of items that I didn't recognize.

"Do you know what that is, and what to do with it?" I asked.

"Yes. Bok choy. We have it all the time," he said, but put it back. He picked up something else and glanced up at the sign above it. "This is jicama but that's not what they call it here. I eat it raw. This is not what they're calling it either. This is chayote squash." He picked up something else. "They got this right, yucca root." He looked all around. "No yard long beans, though."

"Yard long beans?"

He held his hand out to a distance of well over a foot. "Well, that's not quite a yard but those are damn big beans," I said.

His eyes bugged when we rounded the corner to the meat department that extended across the back of the store.

"That's all meat?"

"Yes." I smiled but didn't laugh. "Do you like hamburgers?"

"Yes. And hot dogs," he said. "I love hot dogs."

I picked up a package of hamburger and told him to go get a package of hot dogs.

"Do you like steak?" I asked.

"I've only had a piece of steak once. It was tough," he said.

I showed him the various kinds of steaks and explained the fat and marbling and told him to pick some out. As I also picked up bacon and sausage I noticed him behind me, looking at the whole chickens.

"I can cook, you know," he announced.

"Yes, you told me that but as I recall, the sisters ran you out of the kitchen," I said.

"I can cook. I'll show you." With that, he put a whole chicken in the cart then headed back to the produce department. I didn't question what he came back with. I wouldn't have known what some of it was had he not told me, except for the onions, celery and leeks, and I'd never used leeks before. The rest was stuff I walked past every visit, wondering only vaguely what it was used for.

He began taking things off the shelves and reading the labels and asking me about them; things with the brightest and most colorful labels, I noticed. He wondered aloud about the "baby" sausages.... Vienna sausages. I told him to put them in the cart so he could try them. We paused for him to stare at the display of peanut butter, and the jelly and jams next to it. He couldn't believe there were so many kinds.

"Can I have this?" he asked, picking up a jar of crunchy peanut butter.

"You can have anything you want, Jase," I said. He put it in the cart. "Get some jelly, too." He put in one jar. "Get some different kinds of jelly," I told him.

Several times I had to stop and wait as he lingered back to look at stuff. I thoroughly enjoyed watching him. I could see it was going to take a while to get through the store. Finally, I told him I was going ahead, and for him to pick up whatever he wanted and bring it to the cart. He picked up pickles, graham crackers, potato chips....no cookies, he said they would make him fat. I laughed at that. He also picked up two packages of Jello and a can of fruit cocktail after studying the pictures on the cans and packages.

He was mesmerized at the cereal aisle that extended the entire length of the aisle, on both sides. Suddenly he turned and walked back to the end of the aisle then started down it again. He seemed to be studying every brand, then I realized he was counting. I stood back, laughing to myself as he went down one side and came back up the other side.

"Did you know there are three hundred and eighteen different kinds of cereal in this aisle!"

"No, I never counted them," I said. "Did you see anything you would like to try?" Mistake. He spent another ten minutes trolling the aisle trying to decide on one. He came back with Honey Nut Cheerios.

I knew he liked milk so I picked up three gallons, and some butter, and told him to pick out some cheese. He didn't know what kind to get; I told him anything that looked good to him, and we would see how we liked it. He almost sighed when we stopped at the ice cream section. He had a hard time making up his mind what he wanted there. When he couldn't make up his mind I pointed out a variety pack that had six different kinds of ice cream treats.

"Do you have money for all of this?" he asked quietly as we approached the checkout with the cart overflowing.

He saw others bagging their groceries and he did the same. He was the most excited bag boy I've ever seen. We had to drive home to put the groceries away because of the ice cream, then we drove to the mall to get him outfitted with what I called American style clothes.

"I look too Vietnamese, huh?" he said, with a sweeping hand at his dark, pajama style pants.

"Let's just say you stand out. We'll get you some new jeans and you can shit-can those," I said, looking at his pants.

"No," he said sternly, with a scowl. "I know I will be an American, but I am also still Vietnamese."

His tone and his words took the wind out of me as I realized what I had said; definitely the wrong thing. I slowed the car then pulled over.

"Jason, I am so sorry. I shouldn't have said that. It was out of line and very inconsiderate. I am sorry!"

"I won't wear these pants when I get new ones, but I'm not going to throw them away either," he said. "I'll wear them around the house," he said, without accepting my apology.

"Yes, of course. I'm sorry. You should certainly keep your Vietnamese heritage. It was thoughtless of me. I'm sorry, please forgive me," I said.

He didn't say anything, just stared ahead. We sat there till he glanced over at me.

"Look, Jason, we're both finding our way here; me as well as you, so you have to cut me some slack, too. We're not moving till you say you forgive me," I said.

"I forgive you. It was not a good thing to say, but I forgive you."

He was equally awed by the mall. He didn't know where to look next, his head kept moving from side to side and several times he turned around and walked backwards to look again at stores we'd passed. I noticed too, how others looked at him, including a lot of men and boys.

"This is like a whole city under one roof," he said.

"Yes, sort of," I said. "We want to go in here," I said, motioning to Bringers Men's Store.

"Wow! So many clothes," he said as he felt a shirt hanging on the rack.

"Do you like the shirt?" I asked.

He felt it again and I took it off the rack and held it up to him.

"It's very nice, but......"

"We're here to buy you some clothes, so try it on. Pick out what you like," I told him.

"Blue jeans. Can I have some blue jeans?" he asked excitedly.

"Of course. Everybody wears blue jeans. Levis or Wranglers? Do you know which brand?"

"Levis," he said, without hesitation.

A young, college age clerk with Aaron on his nametag came up and introduced himself. He had overheard and very likely had noticed how Jason was dressed.

"Are you new to this country?" he asked Jase.

"Yes, I am from Vietnam," he replied.

"Welcome to America," Aaron said, putting out his hand. He didn't act like he even noticed what Jase was wearing, he seemed too interested in Jase himself.

Jase beamed with pride as they shook hands. It was his first such welcome. Aaron set about to give him special attention, I wasn't sure whether it was because he was new to the United States, or if it was of a more personal interest.

"I don't know what kids are wearing to school these days, so we'll trust your judgment," I told him.

He stepped back and looked Jase up and down. "College or high school?" It was a perfect opportunity for the rather intense look he gave him.

"Not college," Jase said, laughing.

"We don't know yet where he will be placed. High school, of course, but we don't know what grade," I said. I rattled off a verbal list of what we needed; jeans, dress pants, casual shirts and dress shirts, a couple of ties, shorts and T-shirts, socks, hiking boots, dress shoes, a pair of work boots and sneakers.

We didn't know any of Jase's sizes and Aaron went to great pains to measure his waist and inseam. I noticed that he checked his inseam measurement twice. He was definitely taking a very personal interest in him. Then he took Jase in tow. I followed at a distance. While they were sorting through the stacks of jeans, I went to find him some underwear. I purposely picked out the briefest bikini briefs I could find and took them back to him.

"The shorts you're wearing won't fit good under jeans," I told him. "Go try these on under a pair of Levis, see how they feel."

"You can definitely wear those briefs. Most guys can't," Aaron said.

Jason frowned; he didn't understand. "Why can't other guys wear them and I am allowed to?" he asked.

Aaron laughed.

"Anyone is allowed to wear them. He means you've got the build for them, the body," I explained.

"Yes, someone heavier, not as lean in the hips, or without your athletic build, they would not look good in them," he said.

"Oh," Jason said, nodding.

Aaron showed Jase into the dressing room and came back out still smiling. "He has got the build for them. He's a very good looking boy."

"Yes. He's the son of a friend of mine who was killed in Vietnam," I said.

"Oh. Too bad. You've taken him to raise, then."

"Yes. I think it's going to be as much of an experience for me as for him," I said.

"Yes, I can see that."

Jase came out smiling and looking sharp in the jeans.

"How do they fit?" Aaron asked.

"How do the shorts feel?" I asked.

"They fit and feel fine."

"Would you like to wear them? I can put your other clothes in a bag for you," Aaron said.

"Yes, I want to keep my old clothes," Jase said.

"You absolutely should. You wear them well. You could set a fashion trend."

Jase gave me a confused look.

"He means other kids seeing you wear them would want to buy some just like them," I explained.

He laughed. "Maybe I'll wear them to school."

"Absolutely, you should," said Aaron as he folded the pajama pants. "I'd like to know where I can get a pair."

I was glad for Aaron's remarks after the way I had screwed up with my remarks about his pajama pants.

I noticed when Jase tried on the shoes, Aaron was on his knees helping to fit him and he lifted his legs each time with a hand on his foot and his other hand up inside his pants leg, with a firm hold on his bare calf. Yeah, I was convinced the guy had a special interest in Jase. I stepped in when Aaron brought out big name brand sneakers to show to him, and I heard the prices.

"No. That's a ridiculous price to pay for sneakers," I said. Jase looked a little surprised, but it was a good time for him to learn that the dollar had value and I wasn't an unlimited money supply and although I was a very generous man, we would not spend it foolishly.

I would notice in the weeks ahead that Jase would wear his dad's old T-shirt and shorts as much as he did the new ones I'd bought.

From there I took him to the bookstore where I told him I wanted to browse around for a little bit. In truth, I wanted to see what kind of books or magazines he might be interested in. I noticed him spending time in the youth adventure section as well as sports, and saw him looking at the bodybuilding magazines. Oddly, I found him also checking out books about the Vietnam War. I asked him if he'd found anything he wanted to read.

"I can have some books?" he asked.

"Yes, of course," I said. "I saw you back in the youth section, and sports. Go pick out something. Was there one of these books you wanted?"

He picked up one of the Vietnam books and looked at the back of it again, then put it back. "No, I guess not."

"Get it if you want," I said.

"I would like to see what they write about the war," he said.

I picked up the book and told him to go back to the youth and sports sections. I was surprised how many books he picked out; I didn't know he was so interested in reading. At the checkout desk I told him to go get one of the bodybuilding magazines he'd been looking at. He was most pleased with that.

From there we went to the food court. Jase was amazed again to see all the food stands. He couldn't get over there being so much food available everywhere.

"We can't walk three hundred centimeters without seeing more food," he said.

We walked up and down the food court while Jase read the menus of the various food stands, but his decision was made when he saw Denny's. Denny's was the first place we'd eaten when we arrived in the States, and it would become his favorite place to eat.

After we had eaten I told him we needed to make one more stop, at the drugstore.

"You have stores that sell drugs?" he asked, surprised. "I thought drugs are illegal here."

"No, no, it's not a store that sells drugs like you mean," I said laughing. "It's where you buy drugs and medicine that your doctor tells you to take. It sells a lot of other stuff, like razors and shaving cream, toothbrushes and toothpaste, shampoo, soap....lots of things. You'll see for yourself."

He seemed at a loss what he might need there till we walked down the aisles and I showed him the toothpaste and mouthwash, then he understood. "This is the kind I use, you can pick any kind you like," I said.

He scanned the display, then with a shrug, picked up a tube of toothpaste then a bottle of red mouthwash. I told him to pick out a new toothbrush. Then I took him to the deodorants and shampoos.

He thought shampoo was funny and a dumb idea. "You use something different to wash your hair? Why not just use the soap you use on the rest of your body?"

I didn't have an answer for him, but he picked out some shampoo. Then he made what I thought was an odd request.

"Can I have one more thing?" he asked.

"Of course. What?"

"I would like shoe polish, for my new shoes." He seemed attracted by a shoe-shine kit so we bought it.

The next morning, Jase came downstairs wearing the briefs I'd bought. He nearly took my breath away. He looked like an underwear model.

"I can wear these briefs. Other guys can't," he said, laughing.

"Yes, you sure can," I said.

Chapter Forty-One

Meeting My Family

I suppose it was rather cruel, the way I sprung Jase on my family, especially my parents, at a family get together soon after our return from Vietnam. When my mom called to tell me what she was planning, I told her I would be there and that I would be bringing someone with me. She sounded happy about that. I knew she assumed it was a woman. Maybe I should've but I didn't tell her any different.

Jase was excited to discover that he had grandparents after all but he was a little apprehensive about meeting my family. When we were getting ready he kept looking at himself in the mirror, fussing over whether he looked all right. He was funny. He had used the shampoo and liked what it did to his hair. He said it really was different than using soap. He had also shaved with my razor, although he didn't need to, I think so he could use my aftershave. I told him he smelled good. He had on a pair of jeans that he had asked if he could cut off and make shorts out of them, and a pale yellow T-shirt and the heavy-soled Caterpillar hiking boots I'd bought for him. He really liked the boots after I explained to him what Caterpillar stood for. The kid looked fantastic, muscles outlined under the shirt, his muscular arms showing, and his long, naturally dark, muscular thighs sticking out of the shorts. I finally took him by the shoulders and turned him away from the mirror.

"You like fine, Jase. If you're worried about your features, don't be. They only make you look more handsome," I told him.

"Do you think they will like me?" he asked.

"Of course they'll like you. Especially my niece. Technically, she'll be your cousin but she'll see you as a handsome stud."

He laughed and asked, "Is she pretty?"

"She's gorgeous."

"Then I think I will like my cousin," he said.

My brother and his wife were there, and Hunter and Melissa, and her boyfriend, Roger, and my parents. I wondered why Hunter's girlfriend wasn't there. They were out in the yard, sitting in lawn chairs under the sprawling weeping willow tree. It looked like they were having a good time; till we drove up and got out of the car. Faces sort of went blank and iced tea glasses and beers were set down as they watched us coming toward them. All eyes were fixed on Jase, except for my mother's. I watched her closely; she looked at him then her eyes fixed on me; it was one of those, "son, what have you done" looks. There was no other way but to come right out with it.

"Here's somebody I would like you all to meet. This is Jase, from Vietnam," I said. "He is the son of my buddy who was killed. I've brought him to live in the United States." Then I introduced Jase to each one of them by name and what relation they were to me. I watched their reactions carefully as he shook hands with each one with a slight bow. He was very gracious, with a special greeting for each one. Everyone was polite but they were too surprised and confused to be gracious.

Jase had a look of stern respect for my father, less stern for my brother and Hunter. He gave a polite bow to my mother and sister-in-law, and with a smile, kissed their hands. I thought Melissa was going to piss her pants when he kissed her hand. Roger didn't look too pleased. All in all, he was a real charmer. I could see right away that my brother and his wife were okay with him, even with my brother's wary glance at our mother. Melissa was way more than okay with him. Hunter, too, I thought had a gleam in his eye as he shook his hand. My dad dutifully shook his hand, but without getting up out of his chair. My mother stood from her chair, took his hand loosely in hers then wiped her hands on her apron, like she was wiping off chicken grease from the kitchen. I didn't think Jase noticed. She offered him iced tea, which he accepted graciously, and Hunter got him a chair.

The conversation was, understandably, strained; I was sure my mom had surmised aloud to the others that I might be bringing a lady friend. But as I explained the situation and answered questions, everyone seemed more at ease and even accepting of Jase. Except my mother.

When my mom got up to go inside to check on dinner, I squeezed my sister-in-law's shoulder to keep her from getting up, and I followed Mom inside. Neither of us said anything for a moment. I stood leaning back against the counter with my arms crossed; it was a stance that said "we are going to talk about this." She avoided looking at me. Finally, she spoke, because she knew I was waiting for her to say something.

"Is he yours, Brad?" she asked bluntly.

"No, I told you, he is my buddy's son," I replied. I said it gently even though I was ticked off that she was half accusing me of lying to the family. And I wasn't pleased over how she wiped her hand after shaking hands with Jase.

"What is your connection to the boy, then?" she asked.

"He's my buddy's son," I said again. "The nun who runs the orphanage in Saigon wrote to me a couple of years ago about him, begging me to bring him to the States."

"You've known about him for two years?"


"When were you going to tell us?" she asked.

"There was no need to tell anyone till I was sure I could bring him back," I said.

"How long has he been here?" she asked.

"I wanted to get him settled in with me first," was my reply.

"There were thousands of American boys over there, and naturally, I'm sure a lot went on that we back home don't know about. How does it happen that this particular boy ends up in your care?" she asked.

"Because he was my buddy's son and I agreed to accept responsibility for him," I said flatly, with some exasperation in my voice. "Look, Mom, if you don't believe me, I'll show you pictures of his dad; he is undeniably his. But even if Jase were mine--and he could've been--would that make a difference?" I asked.

She was visibly taken aback by my remark. "Do you plan to adopt him?" she asked, avoiding my question.

"I've given it some thought. You don't have to accept him as a grandson, Mom. Believe me, he's used to not being accepted," I said with scoffing laughter. "Kids over there with American blood are treated a cut below second class citizens. They treat them like they were responsible for the war."

"I would never treat him badly," she said. "I just don't know if I can accept him like I do Hunter and Melissa.

"That's all I ask. He may end up being my son, but he doesn't have to be your grandson if you're not comfortable with that," I said.

It was a strained conversation, but a necessary one. We knew where we stood and it was out of the way. Hunter and Jase hit it off like life-long buddies, despite their age differences, and Melissa was a bit ga-ga over him, much to Roger's chagrin. I was most surprised and impressed by my brother's reaction.

"I would not say this in front of our mother, but it's a noble thing you're doing," he told me in private as we were walking out behind the shed toward the garden.

"It's not noble; it's just something I had to do," I said.

He smiled. "Well, now you're going to know what it's like, raising a teenage son."

"I hope you don't mind if I come to you for advice. You've done a great job with Hunter."

"My advice probably wouldn't work on Jase. They're all different. But you'll do okay. Now, the only thing you need to do is find him a mother."

"He's been used to not having a mother and he's about past the stage of needing one," I said.

"I think Mom would be more accepting of him if there was a woman in the picture," he offered.

"If it takes that, then I don't much care if she accepts Jase or not," I said. "I supposed that Mom and Dad would be reconciled to the fact by now that I won't be presenting them with any grandkids of my own."

"Oh, I believe so; Mom doesn't talk about it anymore. I don't think it was ever an issue with Dad. But I think you got Mom's hopes up when you told her you would be bringing someone today."

"I didn't intend to, she jumped to conclusions," I said.

"You know we all just want you to be happy," he said.

"I am happy," I said.

"Yes, but there's a big empty hole in your life," he said.

"A woman isn't going to fill that hole," I said. "It's not that kind of hole."

"I wish I understood better, Brad, about the war; about everything," he said.

"I wish you did too, but you can't, and that's all right. You had to be there and go through it. Anyway," I added with a shrug, "We all have our own demons. Do you think Mom and Dad know why I never got married?"

"I don't think so."

"Do you?" I asked. It was the first time we had ever approached the subject together.

"I think so."

"You never gave any indication."

"It wasn't my place to bring it up," he said. "I figured you would tell me when you were ready."

"What about Hunter and Melissa?" I asked.

"Oh, I think they've figured it out," he said.

Yeah, I was well aware that Hunter knew, first hand, but I was a little surprised about Melissa. I raised an eyebrow, with a tight-lipped smile. "Well, you've got smart kids," I said.

"They're okay with it," he said.

I didn't smile. If he only knew how okay Hunter was with it; and Melissa's boyfriend.

"How about you and your wife?" I asked.

"Doesn't matter to us either way," he said. "I do have a question, though, if I may get personal, now that it's out in the open."

I shrugged.

"I think your involvement with the boy's dad ran pretty deep, didn't it?"

"It did," I said.

"How does he figure into things?"



"What do you mean?"

"I think you know what I mean," he said.

"I brought him back here to raise him as my own. That's how he figures in," I said. "I didn't bring him back as a boy toy, if that's what you mean."

"No, I was just concerned about your demons," he said.

"I think you're using Jase to voice your concern about Hunter," I said bluntly.

"I have wondered," he said.

"Ask him," I said.

"No,' he said putting his arm around my shoulder. "If anything like that ever happens, or has, I don't want to know, okay?"

We left it at that.

Driving home, Jase was excited about meeting my family, especially Hunter. I told him that I didn't visit my family often but that Hunter sometimes came to visit me. He was happy about that.

"And how about Melissa? Does she come to visit?" he asked.

"Not as often as Hunter. Do you want her to visit? We can invite her," I said

"You don't want to know what I think of Melissa," he said with a bright smile. "Anyway, she's got a boyfriend. He's really in great shape, though. If I had a girlfriend like Melissa, I would be in shape for her."

"I think she noticed that you are in shape," I said.

"I don't think your mother liked me," he said. It saddened me to hear him say that and it made me a little angry that she'd been so obvious.

"She will need time to get used to you. I sort of sprung you on her. I never told any of my family about you. She thought I was bringing a lady friend today. She's always hoped I would give her grandchildren."

"So I will not have grandparents after all. I won't be her grandson," he said. He didn't sound hurt or disappointed; he was just stating fact.

"Yes, of course you will. She just needs some time."

I wished I could take him to meet his Uncle Allen, but I wasn't sure he even knew Jason had a brother, and of course Allen didn't want to have anything to with him anyway. I decided to wait a while to take him to visit his dad's grave and show him around the place where his dad grew up.

Chapter Forty-Two

Getting Used to the USA

I contacted the school early to see what would be required in getting Jason enrolled. The lady told me what documents I would need, and that he would need to take a placement test.

"Is there anything he should study before taking the test?" I asked.

"No. We want to know what he knows," she said.

Jason was nervous the day I took him for early enrollment and to take the battery of tests. He was up early, on his own, and came into the bathroom to take a piss just as I was getting out of the shower. He was really swollen, like a piss hardon just going down, and he had it in his hand.

"Oh. Sorry," he said, and backed out of the bathroom.

"Hey, it's okay, Jase," I said. "It's just you and me living here, and I spent enough time in the Marines, I got over my modesty a long time go."

"If you're sure," he said, holding his big cock tighter in his hand. "Cause I really do have to piss bad."

"Well, haul it in here and piss," I said, laughing.

He stepped up to the bowl and let it flow. He pissed like a young stallion. I watched. He glanced at me with a look of great relief.

"Feel better?" I asked, laughing.

"A lot better," he said.

"And that thing won't be quite so heavy to carry around, now," I joked.

We arrived at the school between classes so we were unnoticed. At the suggestion of the administrator, I left and went for coffee while Jase was tested; the tests could take up to two hours. Sitting in the café down the street from the school, it was a time for contemplation, about the turn my life had taken, and how I would perform in my new role as a father, for surely, that's what my new role would be.

After two hours, I returned to the school. Jason was waiting outside for me. He smiled and stood up when I walked toward him.

"How do you think it went?" I asked.

"I think I did okay," he said. "I hope I get to be a senior."

"I hope so too. But being a junior wouldn't be so bad," I said.

My time of contemplation at the little café weighed heavy on my mind. I was deeply torn in how I had to face things. In Jason, I had his father, and now I had Jason as a son, but it was more difficult than I thought to delineate between the two. Looking at the boy, I saw and felt both, and I knew that could not be. What I felt for his father and had with his father, I could not have and feel for the son. I had to draw a line, to put them in two separate places in my life; one a memory and the other a reality.

There was no denying the desire I had for the teenager. It was with me constantly, fueled every time I looked at him or heard his voice. More than once I stood in the doorway of his bedroom gazing at his handsome physique in all its naked glory while he slept and I fought the demons that raged battle inside me. Jase slept naked all the time now, and I was pleased that he felt comfortable enough to do that. I tried to build up an immunity against his sexual aura but found it difficult to keep my eyes off of him any time he was in my presence. And out of my presence, alone in my bed at night, I dreamed and fantasized of how I could bring us together in the way that I so desperately wanted. It was made worse by him offering himself to me that time. But I knew I had to deny myself the pleasure.

I finally went to talk to a priest about it. I didn't feel comfortable talking face to face so I showed up at the church I'd been to a few times at the scheduled time for confessions. I waited till everyone else had gone to confession before I went into the confessional. I muttered the rudimentary prayers then came right out with it.

"I'm not here for confession, Father, I need to talk to you about something," I said.

"Perhaps you should make an appointment," he said. Right away I didn't like the man.

"No, it has to be here, now," I said. "Everyone is gone."

"Very well, what is it?" he asked.

"I've got this....this boy living with me," I said.

"Yes? Why do you have a boy living in your home? Are you married?" he asked.

"No. The boy belongs to a buddy of mine who was killed in Vietnam. We were in the Marines together."

"And how did the boy come to you?"

"The nuns at the orphanage where he lived in Saigon wrote to me, begging me to bring him to the United States. He wrote to me, also, asking me to come and get him." I could see the priest through the screen nodding thoughtfully.

"And what is the problem?" he asked.

I dropped my head, as if to avoid him, although he couldn't see me.

"The problem is, I....I find myself attracted to him," I said. "I fight it constantly, but I'm afraid of what might happen."

"By attracted, you mean sexually?"


"Then you must find another place for him to live," he said.

I just stared at him through the screen. Was he nuts? I couldn't send Jase away. Where would he go? A foster home? Didn't the man hear what I'd said? He was Jason's son. I was responsible for him. I would never abandon him.

"I could never do that," I said.

"What is the alternative?" he asked, sounding rather indignant. "You have admitted your weakness. How do you propose to fight it?"

"I don't know. I suppose I was hoping you could help me with that. But I won't abandon him," I said.

"It has been my experience in counseling these matters that once it starts, you won't stop," he warned. "How old is he?"


"Well, at the very least, for your own sake, you must control this attraction until he is eighteen and he can take full, legal responsibility for his life," he said.

I was taken aback. Was he giving me permission to succumb to my desires if I waited till Jase was of legal age?

"I can't send him away when he turns eighteen. He will still be a boy. Still in school."

"I don't know what else you want me to say," the priest said, sounding rather impatient. "Is there anyone else living in the house?"


"Perhaps you could invite someone else to live there. Not someone of your sexual persuasion, of course. That might help deter any feelings you have, or at least control them"

"Yes, I could consider that," I said.

"It is something you must do," he said. "You've brought him here to be under your care and guidance. You absolutely cannot lead this young boy into that life."

I thought for a moment then with a sigh, I stood up.

"Thank you, father, for your advice," I said. I knew he had heard me stand up.

"Wait," he said, and I knelt back down. "I assume you're Catholic. Do you attend Mass?" he asked.

"Yes. Not as regular as I should."

"And the boy? Is he Catholic?"

"He was raised in a Catholic orphanage but I'm not sure how strong he is in the faith."

"Do you take him to Mass?"

"I haven't since I brought him here," I said.

"Do not miss Mass, either of you," he said sternly. "If he has been brought up by nuns, he is familiar with the sacraments, which you are denying him. Take him to Mass and get him to confession on a regular basis, and it wouldn't hurt you to come as well. By the grace of God, you will weather this storm and set this boy on the right path to manhood. You have that obligation to your friend."

"Yes," I said thoughtfully. If he only knew the whole truth about Jason and me. Suddenly, as I had hold of the door, he asked it.

"May I ask you something?"

I paused. "Yes, of course."

"What was your relationship with the boy's father?"

"It was....yes, I was in love with him, Father," I said quietly, then quickly exited the confessional before he had a chance to say or ask anything else.

I took the priest's advice, some of it, and started taking Jase to church. I wasn't sure how much good it would do me since there was a great amount of hypocrisy in my decision, but I figured it couldn't hurt Jase. As for myself, I was only hoping for the strength to postpone the inevitable for as long as I could. And that was my hypocrisy. I wasn't sure what Jase prayed for, if anything, but he seemed happy to go and that was enough reason for me to take him.

He seemed surprised when I went in to wake him the very next Sunday morning and told him we were going to Mass. He just looked at me.

"What?" I asked, waiting for him to get out of bed.

"Nothing," he said, and swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

"The nuns never took you to Mass?"

"Of course, but the government shut down most of the churches. I didn't think I would have to go when I got over here."

"Have to go? Going to church is not something you have to do. It is more an honor and a duty, a privilege and a right. Our government can't shut down churches. Freedom of religion is guaranteed in our Constitution, as well as freedom from religion. That means the government also cannot establish a church and say you have to go to it." He had the look that he thought I was lecturing him. "I just want you to understand that. If you absolutely don't want to go, you don't have to."

"Like in your constitution, in your democracy." he said.

"Yes. But you should understand something," I went on. "You will learn that I don't operate under a constitution and this household is not a democracy. At times it may seem more like a dictatorship; what I say goes."

"And you're saying I have to go to church," he said with resignation as he stood up from the bed.

"No. But I'm going and I would like for you to go with me." I wasn't so keen on it but I had to lead by example.

He was pious enough in Mass, something, I was sure, that had been instilled in him by the sisters, but I couldn't be sure how much of it was put on. Neither of us went to Communion that first time. I wasn't sure he had even been baptized. As we were leaving the church, we stopped and I introduced him to the priest.

"Father, this is the boy I was telling you about," I said. I watched for his reaction, sure that he would remember me, and from Jase's features, put two and two together. He did. I saw the light go on and he smiled.

"Ah, yes. How do you like America?" he asked Jase.

"I like it just fine," Jase replied with his handsome smile.

"It's wonderful that you are able to be here," the priest said.

There were others waiting to greet the priest so we didn't linger. Thou hypocrite, I thought as we went down the steps, with the image of the priest's eyes burned into my brain.

"Have you been baptized?" I asked Jase as we were driving home.

"Yes. And I've made my First Communion," he replied.

"Ah, good, then you know your catechism. Do you go to Confession?"

"Had to, the sisters made us," he said.

"Well it's a good idea not to get out of the habit," I said, and let it drop. I wondered why he had not gone to Communion. I decided that I would not take Jase back to that church and that priest. We would find another one.

A few days later the lady who had administered Jase's tests called. I asked about his scores and his placement.

"I could tell you, but I would really like you to bring him so I can tell him in person," she said.

"Good or bad?" I asked.

"Better than good," she said.

I didn't tell Jase; only that we had to go see about his test scores and find out what grade he would be in. He had to know from the smile on the woman's face when we went in that it was good news. Her first question said it all.

"Would you like to be a junior or a senior?" she asked.

Jase looked at me as I was breaking out in a huge smile. He looked a little confused.

"You can start school as a junior or as a senior," I explained. "It sounds like you did okay on the tests."

"More than okay," the lady said. "I can't reveal the scores. I can only say that I wish a tiny fraction of our students could score as well going into either their junior or senior year. You had excellent teachers where you lived."

"Vietnam," Jase said. "My teachers were nuns."

"Yes, and I would guess that this school spends more on football uniforms than his entire school cost," I said.

"Well, now it's up to you to decide whether you want to be a junior or a senior," she said. "You could come in as a junior and enjoy two years of going to an American school. Or, as a senior, then you would be graduated after one year and off to college."

"A senior," he said, smiling. "I would like to be a senior."

"Very well, you will be a senior at Coldwater High," she said.

When we were leaving, coming down the steps, Jason said, rather cockily, "I guess I'm pretty smart, huh?"

"It's fine to be smart, just don't be a smart ass," I said, punching him in the shoulder.

I had thought I would let Jase ride the bus to school if he'd started as a junior, but as a senior, he needed more independence. He needed a vehicle. I wouldn't have to buy him one....he could drive my Jeep or my pickup. But I would have to teach him how to drive. I told him they taught drivers ed in school but that he should know how to drive before he started so he could drive back and forth to school. He was so happily surprised he could hardly contain himself.

I taught him to drive both the truck and the Jeep so he would learn the stick shift. He liked the Jeep better, so I decided that would be "his" vehicle. That Sunday morning he surprised me by coming into my room to wake me.

"Aren't you going to church?" he asked.

I honestly hadn't planned on it, but I dragged myself out of bed to shower. "We're not going to the one we went to before," I told him.

"Why not?"

"I don't like the priest."

Jason wanted to drive. He was disappointed and surprised when I told him he couldn't drive on public roads or streets till he got his license. We hadn't talked about that and I didn't think he realized he had to have one. I drove to the next town where there was an older Irish priest who I had heard on occasion. Jason liked him too. But neither of us took Communion.

"Jase, it's none of my business but I've noticed you don't take Communion," I said as we were getting in the truck.

He just looked at me across the top of the car. "I have done too many things."

"I'm sure the nuns taught you that God forgives all things," I said. "And you said they made you go to confession."

"Why don't you go to Communion?" he asked.

I was about to ask him why he didn't go to Confession and clear up those many things but I only nodded, smiling, and we let it drop for the moment.

He took his driver's test and passed with flying colors; perfect score on the written and the driving part. He was surprised and disappointed when I didn't let him drive away from the driver's exam facility. I drove instead, and took us to get a pizza and something to drink.

When the waitress had taken our order, I asked to see his license. He smiled proudly when he handed it to me.

"I want to make a point here. A very clear point," I began as I took out my wallet and put his license in it. His smile disappeared. "You passed your drivers test, but you didn't get the title to my car," I said jokingly. "The state gave you a drivers license....but I can and will take it away if you screw up. You are driving my vehicle that I'm paying the insurance on."

"I don't understand about insurance," he said.

Okay, I was ahead of myself, something that would happen often.

"I pay money every month to a big company who promises to fix my vehicle if you wreck it, and the other guy's vehicle if you hit him, or his property if you cause damage. If you never have an accident they still keep the money to pay for other people's accidents. Reckless driving causes my insurance to cost more."

He nodded that he understood, but he was still confused over why I'd taken his license.

"So, no drinking and driving," I said as I patted my wallet. "If I ever hear of you drinking while driving I will cut up your license and you will never get behind the wheel of one of my vehicles again. Never. Same with drugs. Worse with drugs. If I ever find out you are taking any kind of drugs, or dealing or associating in any way with drugs, I will first take you out in the woods and beat the living shit out of you, after which you will be grounded for an indefinite period of time."

He frowned. "What is grounded?" he asked.

"That means you go to school and you come home. Nothing else happens in your life. You go to no school functions. And you don't drive. You ride the bus. Your life is over."


"So you see, taking drugs will bring your life as you know it to a close. All privileges will be taken away....no television, you go to school, come home, eat and sleep. If you treat yourself like an animal by taking drugs, I will treat you like an animal. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir, I do."

I gave his license back to him.

I was surprised when Jase said he would like to go visit my mother and dad; he didn't call them his grandparents.

"I know your mother doesn't like me, but I think I can make her like me," he said.

I smiled, then broke out laughing.

"You don't think I can?"

"No, no. If anybody can, I believe you can," I said. This is going to be interesting, I thought.

So we went to see my parents. He drove. My Dad was sitting out under the willow tree reading the paper. He smiled and laid it down when he saw us drive up. Jase went right up to him and put out his hand.

"How are you, sir?" he said.

"Why, I'm fine, Jason. How about yourself?"

"I'm fine too."

"Your mother's in the house, getting ready to fix supper. You better go get your name in the pot," Dad said to me.

Jason looked at me with the usual confused scowl when he didn't understand something.

"That means we need to tell her we're here so she'll fix enough for us to eat, too," I said.

"I'll go tell her," he said.

Dad looked at me with a cocked brow and a big grin. I sat down with him.

"You let that boy walk right into the line of fire," he said, laughing.

"He's used to it," I said.

When Jase didn't come back right away I began to get worried. When he did come out the door he walked away in the direction of the garden.

"Where're you going?" I asked.

"She wants me to pick some tomatoes and pull some carrots and onions," he replied. "I'm helping her make supper."

My Dad laughed. "Well, it looks like your boy has charmed your mother." I could've kissed him for saying it, calling him my boy.

Knowing how much Jase loved baseball, I contacted the school to see if there was a team he might sign up for to play the rest of the summer before school started. He was delighted when I told him I'd found a team for him to play on. He knew the game well, having played with other boys in Vietnam, and with the American GIs who visited the orphanage. We went to the practice field to meet the coach; I let him drive. It was fun to see his confident, cocky attitude as he got out of the Jeep wearing his shorts with white T-shirt, sneakers and baseball cap, and sunglasses. The coach was obviously impressed; I noted how his eyes raked up and down the boy's muscular frame.

"What position do you play?" the coach asked him.

"Any position you want," Jase replied. "Sometimes I was the batboy or the water boy when we played with the American GIs."

"Well, we don't have those positions here," the coach said. "We'll try you out and see where you fit. When can you start?"

"I don't have a glove or any equipment yet," Jase said.

"We'll get everything you need when we leave here," I said.

The coach looked at his watch. "We're just starting. If you can get your gear and get back here, you can still make part of the practice," he said.

We went to a sports shop at the mall where he picked out a fielder's glove and some cleats and batting gloves. The team would furnish everything else. I let him drop me off at home so he could drive back to the field by himself. He was so proud when he came home with a uniform.

He was quickly recognized as a gifted athlete. He was a powerful hitter and an excellent first baseman, with his long stride and reach, all that besides looking like a stud in the uniform. I was proud to be called his "dad" and get acquainted with some of the parents of the other players. When I explained how I wasn't his real father, they shrugged it off and said I was close enough and from then on I was referred to as Jase's Dad. Proud as I was of his athletic ability, he made me even prouder one day when he revealed his very human and compassionate side.

His team was ahead by one run, the score 8 to 7. The opposing team had a boy who was somewhat physically handicapped; he could swing the bat well enough but someone told me that he could barely run when he did manage to hit the ball. The first pitch sailed past the boy well before he swung the bat. To compensate, the boy swung the second time before the ball got to him.

"Slow it down for him," I heard Jase tell the pitcher from first base.

The pitcher turned and looked a Jase and walked toward him. Jase met him half way and there was a short conference before the pitcher returned to the mound. He stepped forward several feet from the mound and threw a slow pitch, aimed almost directly at the boy's bat. It connected solidly and the ball went sailing at an easy pace to first base. Jase missed the ball, ran after it but fumbled it, and it became quickly obvious that he was doing it on purpose. The other players saw what he was doing. Jase finally "retrieved" the ball and threw it to second just as the runner was approaching. The second baseman let the ball go right through his glove, obviously on purpose. The outfielder ran after it and retrieved it, but fumbled it for a moment just as Jase had done. He threw the ball just as the runner rounded third base. The third baseman threw it home but the catcher let the ball slip through his glove and spent an inordinate amount of time trying to retrieve it. Meanwhile, the runner came in safe to score a run.

The crowd went wild. There was a standing ovation, meant as much for our team as for the boy's home run. Ironically, we lost the game by one run. I asked the coach afterwards if it had been planned. He said no, it was just something the other boys picked up on when they saw Jase fumble the ball the way he did. "I guess some things are just more important than winning," he said.

Jase was an immediate hit with the other players on his team, and their parents. I was extremely proud of Jase and told him so, in the middle of a fatherly hug. A lot of parents came up to him and told him what a great thing he'd done and how proud they were. I nearly burst with pride, tears in my eyes, when he said, "Don't be proud of me, he's the one who made the home run that won the game."

As a result of his athletic prowess, and no doubt his looks and how he filled out his baseball uniform, Jason attracted girls and in turn found himself attracted to them.

He announced one day, "I want to have a date."

"All right," I said. "Do you have a girl picked out?"

"Yes. She comes to my games."

"Have you spoken to her?"

"Yes, but I haven't really talked to her," he said.

"Well, maybe you should have a conversation with her and get to know her before you ask her out."

He did, and he asked her out and she accepted. I let him have my Jeep. He took her to Denny's. Somehow that didn't surprise me. I asked him where else they went.

"Just Denny's, after my ball game," he said.

"Well, that's a good place to take a girl to eat but next time you might want to take her to a movie, too, some night when you don't have a game," I told him.

That's when I got my first real taste and challenge of raising a teenage boy, when Jase was late coming in from a date. Very late. I was sitting at the kitchen table with the last of a pot of coffee when he came in. He stopped cold when he saw me.

"Uh-Oh. I'm in trouble," he said.

I looked at the kitchen clock. "You could say that. It's three-fifteen. In the morning," I said dryly.

"Yes, sir," he said, meekly.

"Sit down," I said.

He sat across from me, looking scared.

"I didn't give you a curfew, Jason, because I didn't think you needed one."

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it. I shouldn't have to be up at this hour worrying about where you're at. And I'm not going to be. You now have a curfew. Ten o'clock on Sundays and week nights, midnight on Friday and Saturday," I said flatly.

"There's no discussion about this?" he asked.

"You didn't discuss with me about staying out till 3:15 in the morning," I said.

"But midnight on weekends......"

"We can make it eleven," I said.

"No, sir, midnight will be fine," he said.

"Now, where, who and what?" I asked.

"Where have I been?" he asked.

"Yes. And who have you been with and what've you been doing?"

"Well, it's....it's pretty personal," he stammered.

"I'm getting personal," I said with a deadpan look.

"Well, I was with this girl....not the one I've dated before.... Lindsay....she's a senior, same as me....."

I nodded, with a knowing, penetrating stare. "Okay, that's who. Where and what?" I said.

"Well, we were down by the river, at a spot some guys told me about."

"You went fishing?" I asked.

He smiled. "No, sir, I....well, I....I guess you could say I was....fishing....in a way."

"Having sex," I said, fearing the worse.

He blinked, surprised that I was so blunt.

"No," he said with a frown. "Well....sort of....maybe."

"How do you sort of have sex, maybe?"

"Well, we went swimming, and we didn't have swim suits....being all naked......"

"No cop outs, Jase," I said in a weary tone, shaking my head. "Sex doesn't just sort of happen. You make it happen. But you said you weren't having sex, but you were, sort of. Maybe. Don't play games with me."

"We started kissing and making out but nothing happened. Not the real thing, I mean. I didn't have a condom. So even though it felt like we were, I don't think we really had sex. We just came close. We got out and dried off and got dressed before anything happened."

"Well, first, swimming in the river at night was stupid as hell," I said.

"I'm a good swimmer," he said.

"Nobody's that good," I said. "But I applaud your restraint, this time." I got up to leave.

"Are we done?" he asked with a surprised look.

"No," I said. I left him sitting and wondering. I came back and tossed a strip of three condom packets on the table. "I guess I didn't tell you where I keep these," I said.

"No, sir, you didn't."

"In my top dresser drawer, and in the night stand."

"I would feel funny about getting into your dresser drawer."

"Not near as funny as you'll feel when you get the news that you're a teenage daddy, or when your cock starts dripping funny stuff," I said. "Put those in your glove compartment."

"Yes, sir," he said, fingering the packets. "Does that mean you're saying it's okay if I have sex?"

"No, it does not," I said sternly. "It means I'm saying don't be stupid."

"Yes, sir." He continued fingering the condoms.

"Now," I said, waving toward the door.

"Yes, sir." He shoved his chair back and left to take the condoms out to the Jeep, parked in the barn. I went upstairs to bed.

Chapter Forty-Three


As a result of my speech at the dedication of the football field, I was invited to be a guest speaker at a high school near Wright Patterson Air Base to talk about Vietnam. Unlike my return to the United States, I was well accepted, with none of the antagonistic remarks that I'd expected. This was another generation; maybe that time of hostility had passed and they really were searching for knowledge and understanding. After speaking and answering questions--I even signed a few autographs--I went to have a look around the base. As I was driving off the base, not paying attention, I nearly hit someone. I hit the brakes and my tires squealed and there was a moment of stunned surprise as I looked at the young man looking back at me with his hands on the hood of my car. He was in a stance as if he had physically stopped the vehicle with his raw strength, and from the looks of him, he could have. Suddenly, in that moment, I was in a time warp, looking through my windshield at a familiar stranger, reliving a moment from my past when I had nearly run down a young stud called Jason.

The arms that extended toward the hood of my car were long and muscular; the biceps and triceps bulging against the sleeves of his white T-shirt. The broad shoulders strained against the thin, white cotton material. As he patted the hood and straightened, I saw NAVY printed across the front of his shirt, and there was room for United States spelled out across his broad, thick chest. Even from that distance I could make out his nipples poking against the material. I finally regained my senses and got out and apologized for not paying attention to where I was going.

"It's okay, no harm done," the sailor said.

"There could've been real harm done if you weren't so alert and agile in getting out of the way," I said. "I really am sorry."

"It's okay, but hey, if you're really that sorry, I'm just getting off duty, and you could buy me a beer to settle my nerves. I know a bar right down the road."

"You're on. Climb in," I said, happy to be able to make amends, not to mention the pleasure of having the young muscle stud's company.

He came around and climbed in the Jeep. He was a hunk, to say the least, with blondish hair, dark blue eyes, nicely tanned, squared features....he was almost model-like but seemed totally unaware of his physical attributes. He directed me to the bar, a roadhouse-type place called Ryker's. The bartender and several other guys greeted him as he led the way to a back table, holding up two fingers as he passed by the bar. A moment later a waiter came with two beers.

His name was Travis, and within the first few minutes of conversation I learned that he was almost twenty-one, having joined the Navy at seventeen and his family was from Wyoming but he didn't intend to go back there to settle. He left a girlfriend behind when he enlisted but got a Dear John letter when he was just finishing up boot camp. He didn't bother to go home on leave. He had a new girlfriend off base for convenience, he said; a steady piece of ass, as he put it. There was no commitment with the girl. She was six years older than him and didn't expect or want a commitment to anything except for what he could give her as a man, which I imagined he gave in spades. He reeked of sexuality. None of this came out voluntarily; I had to ask a lot of questions. At some point he turned the conversation to me.

"Enough about me; how about you?" he asked.

"Marines, Vietnam, unattached," I said.

He sort of reared back and looked me up and down, with a scowl.

"Unattached... that's gotta be by your own choice. You should have women beating a path to your door," he said.

"Maybe I should be but I don't." I thought it odd that he touched on me being unattached instead of being a Marine or in Vietnam. "They would have trouble finding my door anyway," I said, laughing. "I live pretty well out in the country. I should say I'm unattached as far as a woman is concerned. I have a seventeen-year-old boy living with me; the son of a buddy who was killed in Vietnam."

"Ah, so you're a single dad," he said.

"Well, I never thought of it that way but I guess you could say that. I suppose that's how others might see me."

He asked about my place in the country. When he went on about how neat he thought it sounded, I took a chance and invited him to visit. He jumped on it and asked me when. We arranged it for the following weekend. He asked if I would mind giving him my number so he could call if he couldn't get a pass. Fuck no, I didn't mind. I had visions of a friendship developing.

Driving home I began to wonder about what I'd done. There was no doubt that I was totally, physically attracted to the guy. I wanted to have sex with him, and that was without a doubt the underlying reason for the invite, even though he never gave off any certain vibes, except being very friendly. I hadn't even thought of Jase and how awkward it might be, and I certainly didn't need a man in my life if that was a looming possibility.

I told Jase we were having company for the weekend. He thought it was Hunter. He smiled, surprised, when I told him it was someone I'd met at the air base. Oddly, he asked if I wanted him to get lost for the weekend.

"No, I said we're having company. You live here, too," I reminded him.

"Just thought you might want time alone with the guy," he said with a tight smirk.

"I never told you it was a guy."

He shrugged. "Sorry if I jumped to conclusions."

It was the first time he'd given any indication that he thought I was gay, and it gave me a little jolt.

"If it's okay, I had sort of planned to do something with a couple of friends, so I could get out of your way," he said.

"Fine, but don't think you have to leave on my account." In a way I was glad Jase wouldn't be around. His absence might open up possibilities with Travis.

Because of duty, Travis arrived later on Saturday than I'd hoped. He showed up in a black Firebird, looking so studly it made my stomach tighten up. He was dressed in a pair of dark blue Navy athletic shorts and a white T-shirt, looking all tanned and more desirable than he knew behind Navy issue sunglasses. He had already eaten supper so we settled for beers out on the porch and talked of plans for the next day. He said he would like to explore the woods and maybe go fishing sometime. He was obviously happy to be able to play civilian for a couple of days and I was happy to provide him with the respite. After the second beer I could tell he was tired and I offered for him to go to bed.

"I threw my sleeping bag in the back of the car, just in case," he said as he started down the steps.

"No need for that, I've got plenty of bed space," I said. I took him upstairs and pointed out the three bedrooms. "You've got your choice," I told him. I didn't realize what I'd said till I saw his mischievous smile.

"Hhhmm, are you making me an offer I can't refuse?" he asked jokingly.

"Is it an offer you would accept?" I asked right back.

"I might. I just might," he said, laughing. "If you're serious, that is."

"I might be," I said.

"And how would I know if you are?" he asked.

"For the sake of argument, let's assume I am," I said, motioning him into my bedroom. It was that simple.

He went past me, pulling his shirt out of his jeans. He was poised to pull it off, his arms crossed over his chest, but paused, as if he weren't sure he should.

"Just for the record, I'm straight," he said.

"Okay. Just for the record, I'm not so much," I said.

"What I meant is, this, whatever it turns out to be, is going to be all one-sided," he said.

"That's your opinion," I said. "Do you want me to take your shirt?"

He pulled the shirt off over his head, revealing a very muscular upper body, with abs to kill for....fuck, an entire eight-pack....and thick, meaty pecs with tits crying out for attention.

"I knew you would look like this," I said, my eyes raking over his muscles.

"You like it?" he said, flexing his muscles for me.

"Yes. Definitely. Can't wait to see the rest," I said.

He smiled proudly as he undid his belt, sucking his stomach in.

"How about you? You gonna show me what you've got?" he asked.

"You're straight. Are you interested?" I asked.

"Let's say naturally curious," he said. He stood with his belt hanging, as if he were waiting for me to start taking off my clothes before he finished undressing. When I pulled my shirt off he pulled his jeans off.

"Not bad yourself," he said as I draped my shirt over the chair.

"I didn't think you straight guys were supposed to notice," I kidded him.

"Well, it's not very flattering to have some big old tub ogling me," he said.

"Somehow, I can't picture you taking off your clothes for some big old tub," I said as I stepped over and cupped my hand over the front of his shorts. "Nice." I said.

"Yeah, so is your hand," he said.

I squeezed the meaty bulge and felt it becoming meatier. I reached around and shoved my hand down inside the back of his shorts.

"This is nice too," I said, squeezing his bare butt. "Fuck, it feels like a bowling ball." He smiled. I ran my other hand down inside the front of his shorts and found his raw cock, warm and thick and very much alive.

"Mann! Awesome!" I said. "Have you ever done this before?"

"No, not really," he said, and then chuckled.

"I wondered. Because you seem totally okay with it," I said.

"No reason not to be," he said. "Although to tell the truth, I don't know exactly what I'm being okay with."

"You said no, not really. What's with the 'not really" part?"

"I've been ogled, groped, felt up, but never any follow through. It's always been in places where follow up wasn't possible."

"Well, let's get to it and I'll show you how possible it can be," I said as I pulled his shorts down and sat on the corner of the bed. I tugged them down further and they dropped to the floor and he stepped out of them. I took his rubbery cock in one hand and cupped his sizeable balls with the other. "Haven't you ever been out to sea?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Sure, several times," he said.

"This thing swinging around on a ship full of horny sailors, and you never saw any action?"

"There was some action but I never got in on it," he said. "There was a guy several racks down from mine that was getting it all the time from several guys at the same time. One fucking him, and he would be sucking a cock on each side of him, and other guys standing around waiting their turn."

"Why didn't you get in on it?" I asked.

"Too risky. Couple of times we had an officer and a chief come through and that many guys congregated got their attention. There was some mad scrambling and luckily, nobody got caught. Then on top of that, the guys who were in on it, they were more or less looked down on, guys making remarks behind their backs."

"But you're okay with me," I said.

"It's you and me, nobody to spread stuff around about me," he said, then added with a smile, "And after seeing that shit happening on the ship, I have to admit, I am curious."

I was pulling on his cock, bringing it to full erection, and gently squeezing his heavy balls. "Fuck, this is a nice cock," I said. I let go of it and it stood out at an upward angle, quivering.

"I think it likes you, too," he said.

I leaned down and took it in my mouth

"Ohhh, Fuck, that is so nice!" he moaned softly.

I moved my mouth up and down the shaft, all I could take of it, and added my tongue to the action around the wide-rimmed, spongy head. He had a big cockhead and it spread out even wider when it pressed against the back of my throat. It had a wide, thick rim, too. It was going to spread my throat when I managed to get it through the opening, but that didn't deter me. He wasn't anything I couldn't handle. The shaft was thick, too, with bulging veins that gave it an added touch of virility. It took me several tries but I managed to force my mouth down on the shaft far enough to push the head through the opening of my throat.

"Awww, fuck, that's tight!" Travis gasped. "Aww, Mann, that's tighter than pussy."

Yeah, I could feel his big cock was stretching my throat out; he was the one causing it to feel so tight. I forced the head in and out of my throat a dozen times till the muscles were stretched enough to push deeper without gagging. The thick, gristly rim felt great pulling back out of my throat. It scraped along the sides like a cleaning rod, causing me to think it was going to feel great in my ass. I worked my way further down the shaft, contracting and relaxing my throat muscles in exaggerated swallowing, milking movements much like a python swallowing its prey

"Man, if I wasn't watching with my own two eyes I wouldn't believe it," he said.

I eased back off his cock and drool ran off of my chin. "That is a real hunk of meat," I said.

"Shit, but you were taking it. I don't see how you do that."

"I haven't done it yet," I said.

"Are you gonna swallow it all, for sure?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yeah. That was just practicing," I said.

"You've got a ways to go," he said doubtfully.

"When I get to the bottom I'm gonna hold it there for a minute to get used to it, then you can start fucking my throat," I told him.

"Aww, shit, that sounds so hot!"

"One thing."


"When you get ready to cum, I want it in my mouth not in my throat," I said.

"You want me to cum in your mouth?" he asked, still not believing.

"Did you have something else in mind to do with it?" I asked.

"No, Fuck no, if that's where you want it, that's where I'll put it. Gladly."

"Okay, here we go, all the way down....the whole enchilada."

"More like a burrito," he said, laughing.

I went back down on his cock, taking more than half of his eight plus inches. I made a gagging sound when the head went into my throat but I didn't choke. I pressed on, taking him deeper and deeper, working my lips down the shaft till I could feel his hairs. Then I plunged downward to swallow the final inch or so. I pressed my face into his hairy groin and smashed my chin against his high-and-tight balls. I felt his groan in his stomach and heard him gasp; it sounded like he choked on it. Finally, he was able to let it out.

"Ohh! Goddd!" he cried softly. He gaped down at our juncture. "Fuck, that is such an awesome sight! My cock has fuckin' disappeared!" He felt the sides of my throat as if he were searching for his cock. "Oh, Man, I can feel it in there," he exclaimed.

I held him like that for a long time, working my throat muscles around the entire length of his cock, milking and massaging his cock orally.

"Ohhh....Awwhhh....Ohh, yeah, I love the way you do that," he moaned.

I knew I was good, but Travis appreciated my talents and techniques more than most, which made me wonder just how much his girlfriend was, or wasn't, putting out for him. He was all over the place, writhing and squirming and thrashing his body around so that sometimes it was hard for me to stay on his cock. He was one big bundle of excitement, so much so that I wasn't even warned when he was ready to go off. He just suddenly exploded in my mouth. I mean he exploded, so hard that I almost reached for his balls to make sure they were still there and intact. The stuff spurted and splattered against the back of my throat in huge ropes, and I could tell it was thick. Along with the bulk of his cockmeat, he quickly filled my mouth and I had to start swallowing. He came like a fuckin' stallion. His fresh, warm man-syrup tasted good.

"Damn, guy, how long have you been saving that?" I asked, finally rising up with a deep breath and wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, and still swallowing.

"Three or four days. My girlfriend has been away and I try not to jack off when she's gone. I like to save it for her.

"That was a load and a half....maybe a double," I said.

"Yeah, it felt like I let loose with both barrels," he said. "It was awesome. You really know how to do it."

"Thanks, you're a great inspiration," I said. I leaned down and licked up more cum that was boiling out of his cock, then milked his cock to draw it all out. I cleaned him up good then laid his cock on his stomach.

"Shit, you really like the stuff," he remarked.


"That was incredible. Thanks," he said.

"I would really like to have you stay the night in here with me but I can't with the boy coming home," I said.

"When will he be home?"

"I don't know, but we can hear him come in. We just can't fall asleep and have him catch us in bed together," I said, as I caressed his muscles. "Damn you are nice....great body, awesome cock. Do you mind if I have my hands on you like this?"

"No, not at all. Glad you appreciate my body," he said.

I enjoyed his body for a long time, and he enjoyed me admiring his muscles.

"Do you think you might want to get together again sometime?" I asked. "I know, I sound like I'm making a reservation."

"Fuck, yeah. Anytime you'll have me," he said.

"I'll have you anytime you can get off," I said. "Look, I don't wanta freak you out, but next time, or some time, do you think you would like to fuck me?

"Oh, Wow! Fuck, I don't know, I....yeah, I would. I watched that other guy getting it and I've always been curious about how it would feel, to stick my cock in a guy's ass."

"Now's not a good time, the boy could be home anytime, but I would like to show you how it feels when we can," I said.

Chapter Forty-Four

His Dad's Stuff

I thought it strange that Jase had never asked about where his dad was buried, but I couldn't remember if I'd ever told him that I'd brought Jason back from Vietnam. I decided to take him to the cemetery one Sunday after church. I didn't tell him where we were going until after we had stopped for breakfast at Denny's and we were on our way.

"Where're we going?" he asked when he noticed we weren't heading back home.

"I'm going to show you where your dad is buried," I said.

He looked at me, a half blank, half startled look. "Oh. I thought all American soldiers were buried in that one big military cemetery."

"You mean Arlington. No. He could have been, but he wanted to be buried in his hometown."

"So I'll get to see where he grew up," he said. He seemed excited about that.

"Yes, I'll show you the town, and where he went to school, where he played football," I said.

I took the narrow back road to the cemetery. It was like a private drive, and the scenic countryside always seemed to prepare me. It always seemed a solemn journey, driving through a cemetery, and this one was even more so. I pulled over near the gravesite and we got out. I took a deep breath, resolving to keep my composure. This was going to be tough, bringing his son back to visit a dad he never knew, and never would. We walked to the grave and I showed him the marker then stood back a little. Jase stood gazing down at the marker for a long time, and I wondered what was going through his head. Thoughts that I couldn't allow were trying to emerge in my head. I did permit myself a silent prayer of thanks that this boy had come to me, out of the hard, virile loins that had given me so much pleasure. Pervertedly, perhaps, I thought of all the semen I had drained from the loins of his father, all that I had swallowed into my being, and that had spurted deep into my bowels, and of all those trillions of sperm, I had to marvel at the one that had become this handsome boy was the most precious.

Jase squatted down and traced his finger over the lettering on the marker.

"He was the bravest man I ever knew," I said quietly. "You should be very proud of him."

He stood and shoved his hands in his pockets. "I wish I could feel more," he said, twisting around to look at me.

"It's hard to feel something that you never knew," I said as I stepped up beside him. "Just be proud, and know that he would have made a fine dad."

Then suddenly he turned to go. I was almost offended, but he wasn't being disrespectful; he simply did not feel what I did. I decided not to spend the moments there that I'd planned. This was Jase's time, brief and unemotional as it was, and I could not force my emotions on him. We walked back to the car.

"Where did my dad live? Is the house still there?" Jase asked.

"Yes, we can drive by it," I said. "We can't go in, it was sold after his parents died." I wanted awfully bad to tell him he had an uncle in Jason's brother, but it would serve no purpose except to cause ill will and heartache. Allen wanted nothing to do with the boy and I had to respect that, for both their sakes.

I drove by the house first, to get that out of the way. I thought he would enjoy seeing the school more. I crept past it, remembering the night I'd slept in Jason's room. It caused some heartache but I didn't show it. Well past the house, I asked him if he wanted me to turn around and drive by again.

"No, that's okay." He looked out the window and turned once to look back for a few seconds.

"We'll go to the school," I said. "The football stadium is named after him."

"It is? Wow!"

I drove through the town first, slowly down the main street, then back.

"I'm trying to picture my dad growing up here, walking these streets. It's hard to do," he said.

"Yes, it would be," I said. "You didn't know your dad, and you grew up in a different country. I imagine it would be hard to relate the two."

I took him to the football field first. We got out to go onto the field. Walking up the ramp, he stopped and looked up at the arch with Jason Seaborne Stadium across it.

"Wow! He must've been a hell of a jock," he said quietly.

"He was a hell of a man," I said, indicating the arch. "This isn't just about him being a jock; it's about him being a man." I showed him the bronze plaque. He read it but didn't say anything. I stood back till he was ready to go.

We were in luck at the school; the maintenance man was there. I told him who we were and asked if we could have a look around. He seemed excited to meet Jase.

"I'm honored to meet the son of Jason Seaborne," he said, putting out his hand. "Come along, I'll open some doors and you can wander around at will. The trophy case is up on the second floor, be sure and check that out. And the locker room is down that ramp. His locker still has his name on it. Nobody uses it. It's still got his jersey hanging inside, and his helmet. There's even a jockstrap hanging in the locker, with his name in the waistband, but nobody knows for sure if it was really his, or if somebody just hung one in there."

Jase seemed to be in a state of awe as we went through the school. It was obvious that this was making a greater impression than Jason's gravesite. He was quiet as we stood in front of the trophy case and he searched out his dad's trophies. It wasn't hard; there were a lot of them. We went in and out of several classrooms and I knew he was imaging, as I was, his dad sitting in those rooms. Downstairs, he seemed a bit dazed as we entered the locker room; even hesitant.

"Don't you wanta go in?" I asked.

"Yes," he said. "It's weird, that's all, being here where he was when he was my age."

"I wish he could be here to show you around himself," I said.

We went in and I followed a couple of paces behind him, letting him find his own way. Jason's locker door was standing part way open with his name printed on a piece of tape. His helmet with SEABORNE across the front sat on top. Jase walked over to the locker and opened the door then just stood there. After a moment he reached up and got the helmet.

"Put it on," I said.

"Do you think I should?"

"If anybody has the right, you do," I said. "He would be proud to have you wear it."

He put the helmet on but didn't connect the strap, and he left it on only for a moment. He placed it back up on top of the locker then reached inside to get the jersey. He held it up but didn't take it off the hanger.

"Twenty-Nine. I wonder if there was any significance to his number?" he said.

"I don't know," I said. "Why don't you try it on."

"No, I have no right to wear his number," he said, and hung it back in the locker. He fingered the jockstrap hanging on a hook then took it out. "Do you think it's really his jockstrap?" he asked, holding it up.

I smiled and touched the pouch. "I don't know. It's obviously pretty old, and well worn, and it's sure stretched out enough. It could be his."

"Wow! This really is weird, but pretty awesome, holding the jockstrap that my dad wore." With it still in his hand he looked at me with a mischievous grin. "This is gonna sound perverted but I'm standing here holding the jockstrap that held the cock and balls that made me."

"That's not perverted, it's profound," I said.

"I wish I could have it," he said. I started to say something but he cut me off before I could speak. "But I would never ask for it, or take it. It belongs here. I wonder where the rest of his uniform is."

"I don't know, but the important stuff is here," I said.

Jase hung the jockstrap back on the hook and positioned the door exactly like he found it. He paused a moment then walked back toward the showers. He stood in the entrance of the big shower room, I stood just behind him.

"I can almost picture him here, and hear him laughing and joking around," he said.

"Take that picture with you," I told him.

"Yeah....yeah, it's all I've got."

It wasn't all he had. As we were driving back home I decided it was a good time to pass along some of Jason's belongings to the boy. I thought I should make the special occasion somehow more special. I stopped for hamburgers and fries to take home so I wouldn't have to mess with fixing supper.

"Were you okay with today?" I asked Jase as we were sitting down to eat.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I'm glad you showed me where he's buried. I can go back now when I want. And it was neat as hell, going through his old high school and seeing his locker and stuff. He really is some kind of hero to people."

"Don't ever say that where he can hear you," I joked. "He hated being thought of as a hero."

"I wish I could go to school there," Jase said.

"Listen, Jase, there are some things I want to give you, and I think now would be a good time," I said. I went upstairs and I got the box from my bottom dresser drawer containing what I considered to be Jason's treasures. They were my treasures too, but they no longer belonged to me. I had the memories of his dad that Jase didn't have. He needed something to help him connect with his dad. I went to my dresser and got Jason's single dog-tag and chain from my jewelry case, along with the shell casing I'd dug up at Jason's base camp. Before I went back downstairs, I took Jason's athletic jacket out of the back of my closet and hung it in Jase's closet.

"This is stuff that belonged to your dad," I said as I sat down at the table and opened the box. I handed him the watch first.

"This is a Navy SEAL watch," he said, beaming proudly.

"Yes, he wore it all the time. It's been a lot of places in your home country; places that you will never have to go," I said.

I removed the necklace from around my neck and held it out to Jase.

"This was my dad's?" he asked.

"Yes." I continued to hold out the necklace.

"I think you should keep it."

"No, it's yours," I said. "You can wear it to school. Let's put it on you."

He leaned forward for me to put the necklace on him. I was surprised how well it fit around his muscular neck.

"It fits you almost as well as it did your dad," I said.

He hefted the weight of it then reached back and unclasped it.

"He was my father, but he was your buddy and that pretty much evens things out. You knew him better than I ever will. If I want to wear it, well I'll just borrow it." He handed the necklace back.

I didn't argue with him. "It's in that jewelry box any time you want to wear it."

I took the necklace, then gave him the dog-tag. "I buried his other one when I came back to Vietnam to get you, under the roots of some huge, ancient tree, within sight of his old compound."

He rubbed the metal plate between his fingers then slipped the chain over his head. I gave him the shell casing too. "I dug this up with my boot at his base camp," I said.

I took out the medals next and laid them across the table.

"He won all of these?" Jase asked.

"He wouldn't say he won them, but they were awarded to him," I said. I went on to explain each medal. He picked them up and fingered them one by one as I told him about them. Then he surprised me.

"I think you should keep these, too," he said.

I must have looked at him surprised.

"You have more right to them than I do. You were there with him. You know what they mean. I think he would want you to have them," he said.

I gave it barely a moment's thought. "All right. I'll keep them, for now. But someday they'll be yours," I said.

"All right," he agreed. "Someday, when I'm old. And this," he said as he removed the dog-tag from around his neck. "I'll keep the shell casing but you should have his dog-tag. You earned it. I didn't."

"It's not something you earn the right to wear," I told him.

"Yes. It is, and I didn't earn it," he said.

I accepted it without any further question. I brought out the small stack of folded clothing. I unfolded the Navy SEAL T-shirt to show him the KaBar knife.

"Wow!" He picked it up and removed the knife from the sheath. "It's well worn," he said.

"It's well used," I said. "He carried it all the time. It was part of him."

He slid the knife back in the sheath and handed it to me. "You keep this, too."

"I....I think you should have it, Jase," I said.

"No," he said. "You should have the things with a close attachment to the war. I know it's my Dad's knife, but you were over there with him. Here, take it." He thrust it at me.

"All right. But only for safe keeping. It will still be yours someday," I said. Then I handed him the NVA bayonet and explained what it was. He held it for a moment then handed it back to me.

"This should be with his knife," he said as he carefully arranged the bayonet under Jason's KaBar knife. "It lies in defeat under his KaBar knife." He meant I should keep them both.

I didn't give him the handkerchief that had held the soil from Vietnam. That was mine to keep. And I laid the twenty dollar bill aside, the one he'd left me to buy a drink, but the bartender had given me the six pack. I handed him the T-shirt. "You might want this to wear."

He picked it up and held it up to his chest. Next I handed him Jason's athletic shorts with the Navy SEAL emblem on the left leg. He held them up, smiling.

"I like these. Do you think they would let me wear these in gym class at school?"

"I don't see why not."

I gave him two pairs of briefs. I hated to part with them but felt compelled to give them to the boy. I still had a pair that I wore, that I would keep. Jase shook out the briefs and held a pair up.

"Man, I'll bet he didn't have any trouble filling these out; there's not much to them," he joked. "Sorta like the ones you bought for me."

There was something else he needed to have. I went to my dresser and dug out Jason's old, tattered jockstrap. I wore it now and then, and I hated giving it up, but he should have it. There was a sense of melancholy in knowing that the garment, especially the worn pouch of the jockstrap that once held the manhood that had produced the seed that made this boy, would now hold the boy himself.

"Now this one is his," I said, handing it to him.

He held it up, smiling, holding it up and fingering the tiny holes. "Pretty much stretched out, isn't it," he said, laughing.

"It held up a lot of weight for a very long time," I joked.

"He must've worn this a lot, the way it's all worn out. Dang, it looks like somebody's been chewing on it," he said, laughing.

"We can't be sure about the jockstrap in his old locker, but you can be very sure that this one was his. I saw him wear it many times," I said.

"You got this out of your drawer. Do you wear it?"

"Yes, now and then," I said. "It might sound weird but it makes me feel closer to him."

"Do you wanta keep it?" he offered.

"No, I....you can wear it in gym class," I said. "The other one belonged in his locker. This one belongs to you," I said. "I'll tell you something, Jase. I don't think the jockstrap hanging in your dad's locker was really his, unless he had two. He told me he wore this one all through high school. I think they put that one there with his name in it as part of a memorial."

"Good," he said, smiling. "So I've got the real thing for sure. I might wear it now and then. I don't think it would hold up to wearing it all the time. If you ever want to wear it, just come in my room and get it."

"All right. But I don't want to ever see it in the clothes hamper," I said.

"Hand wash only, huh?" he said.

"No. Don't wash it, period. He said he never washed it."

"So when I wear it and get it all sweaty, my sweat is soaking in and mixing with my Dad's sweat. You know, I did think it was weird, what you said about feeling closer to him when you wear it. I get it, now. It's not weird at all."

"I also have his duffle bag full of his stuff, too," I said. "You can go through it any time you want. Just get it out of my closet. This is the stuff I kept back when I packed up his stuff to bring him home. I had no idea I would be giving it to his son someday."

"Thanks for keeping it," he said. "Could I ask you something, Brad?"


"I know you and my dad weren't in the same outfit."

"No, I was in Intel, stationed in Saigon. He was out in the field."

"You said you know it's my dad's jockstrap because you've seen him wear it many times. If you weren't in the same outfit......."

The way he let his words linger, I wondered what he might be implying.

"We met up on pass whenever he could get into Saigon. We always got a room at a hotel there, and a lot of times he was wearing it," I explained.

"Oh." He let it drop, but I wasn't sure he was completely satisfied with my explanation.

I put the box back in the closet. "There is one more thing, Jason." I took down the folded flag and took it over to the bed. "This is the flag that covered your dad's casket." He reached for it but I kept my hand on it as he held it tightly to his chest. I didn't intend to give it to him till he turned eighteen but the way he held it, I could tell it meant a great deal to him. "It's rightfully yours," I said as I removed my hand.

"It's as much yours," he said.

"No. There's not going to be any discussion about this, Jase. You are his next of kin. It would have been presented to you had you been at his funeral. Put it in your room." I was saddened somewhat with my decision, but proud.

Chapter Forty-Five

The Young Male Escorts

As Jason approached his eighteenth birthday my emotions ran amuck. One day I could hardly wait for him to be eighteen, the next day I told myself it didn't matter what age he was. On those days I had to convince myself all over again that my relationship with the boy would continue to be strictly platonic. But deep down I knew better. There were times when I had to wonder what the fuck did being eighteen matter anyway. No one would know. Jase wouldn't go around telling anybody and he wouldn't go running to the authorities if I tried something with him. Hell, he had invited me to have sex with him and eighteen didn't matter shit to him.

I didn't know what was the matter with me. I was suddenly obsessing over the boy, and that could only be because he would soon be of legal age, which was, ironically, somewhat of a threat to me. Not so it showed, but I was being torn up inside.

I didn't have Travis's phone number at Wright Patterson; he had mine but he hadn't called in some time. Finally, out of some sense of desperation I dug up an old gay newspaper out of my trunk and found the ads for male escorts. I'd hired an escort only once before and it had been a terrific time, but I just never had the need again. There was sex about anywhere I looked but it was with men closer to my age and none of it satisfied the urges I had for Jase.

I called the agency I'd used before and when the guy asked what kind of company I was looking for, I replied, "Young," without hesitation. "The younger the better--legal, of course--smooth, well built, cute, and hung would be nice."

The guy was very helpful. He told me about two boys he had available. "You said you wanted young....Jamie just turned eighteen two weeks ago. He's still in high school, in fact. He has a muscular build, not too bulky, smooth, very nice butt--I mean, an ass to die for--still more cute than handsome, he looks more like he's sixteen. He is very well hung. Seems like the young guys are all well hung these days; must be something in their diet. He's eight inches, and thick. He's friendly but a little shy, just learning to be versatile. I say that because I think he's struggling with his sexuality. He likes to think of himself as a straight top but I know with the right guy, someone who will take control, he'll bottom easy."

"Then I have Justin. He's also eighteen, also still in school; in fact, he's a friend of Jamie's, but he's a little less mature. The two boys cooked up the idea of escorting themselves out to make some easy extra money. He's very muscular, he lifts weights. Rugged good looks, and a little bigger in the cock department even than Jamie. He's okay with his sexuality. Says he's straight--he's got a girlfriend--but I know he'll bottom for the money without letting it get in the way of his straightness. I've heard that from clients. He's confident in who he is."

"You give me a hard choice," I said, but I was already leaning toward Jamie because he sounded more like Jase.

"Either one of these boys would fulfill your fantasies of having a 'son' in bed," he said.

"What made you think I was looking for a son?" I asked.

"Most men your age who ask for younger guys are looking for a dad-son experience," he said.

"Well, I think I'll take Jamie," I told him without confirming his guess.

"You won't be disappointed. Is this an in or out call? We have a four-bedroom apartment if you would like to come here. Or he can come to your home or hotel."

"No, I was thinking a motel," I said.

"That's fine. Which motel?"

I gave him the name of the motel and set up a time. I told him I would call back with the room number when I got checked in.

"Might I suggest something to double your pleasure," the man said. "These two boys have worked together on several occasions."

I thought about it for moment but decided against it. We set it up with Jamie for later that evening. I was suddenly excited, but with a twinge of guilt that I was leaving Jase at home to go have sex with another teenage boy just months or weeks older than him, and that I would pretend was him.

I got checked in and made the call. Jamie called back to my room to confirm and said he would be there in a half hour. I flushed out and showered and put on some good smelling body splash. I fiddled with the lights. I didn't want the lights on but I didn't want it too dark either. I wanted us to be able to see each other. I finally settled on the bathroom light with the door partially closed. I walked around outside and waited. Nearing the half hour mark I went back inside to wait. I peered out the window at the sound of every car but they all drove past. Finally, one slowed down then turned to park right in front of my door. I let the drapes close and rushed to peer through the peephole. His features were somewhat distorted but his stature and looks were that of a teenager. I waited for his knock then opened the door.

There stood a boy that was more gorgeous than handsome. He was about my height, maybe a hundred fifty pounds, very well put together, wearing a pair of faded jeans and a dark blue knit shirt. There was a trace of innocence in his eyes that belied his reason for being there.

"Are you Brad?" he asked cheerfully.

"You must be Jamie," I said, putting out my hand. He had a good grip, and impressive arms. I stepped aside to let him in and my eyes fell to his butt that the man had described. The man was right; the boy certainly filled out the back of his jeans.

"They said you were looking for a younger guy. I hope I fill the bill for you," he said.

"Yes, and yes you do," I said. "The man assured me you were eighteen," I added for good measure, because he was also right about the boy's looks; he looked more like sixteen, except for the way he was built.

"Three weeks ago. I can show you my license if you want."

"No, that's not necessary," I said. It wasn't, and I didn't much care at that point. I didn't know if I could have turned the boy out if he'd proven to be younger. He was just that cute and built and desirable, and I kept thinking about what Dave had said he was carrying between his legs.

"So, I like to ask up front, what do you like to do? I'm pretty much a top, but I like to make my partner happy," he said.

So he was leaving it open; he was saying he would bottom for the money, just like Dave had said. "I like to just see what develops," I said.

"Fair enough," he said.

"But one thing I definitely want to do is get you out of those clothes," I told him.

"Do you want me to strip down, or do you want to do it for me?" he asked.

I smiled, remembering that Dave had said the boy was shy; he wasn't acting shy with me. I stepped up to him and tugged his shirt out of his jeans.

"Oh, so you wanta strip me naked," he said, smiling.

"Something like that," I said as I pulled his shirt off over his head. "Nice chest. Great abs," I added as I punched him in the chest and stomach.

"You can hit me harder than that," he said, tightening his stomach. His muscles stood out like a plate of armor.

I punched him again. It was like hitting solid rock, but the impact of my fist staggered him.

"Damn, you are solid as a rock. Damn nice shoulders and arms, too," I said as I felt his shoulders and squeezed his arms. Then I went for his belt. "Let's see what the bottom half looks like."

"I don't think you'll be disappointed," he said. "I'm hung better than most of my friends, except for Justin. He's got about a half inch on me."

"But Justin isn't here and you are," I said as I shoved his jeans down and went to my knees to remove them.

"Yeah, we have a friendly competition, keeping track of who gets the most repeat calls," he said as he stepped out of his sneakers for me to take his jeans off. I laid his jeans aside and stared at his shorts.

"I like your shorts," I said as I brushed my hand over the sizeable bulge.


"You really fill them out."

"Keep doing that, I'll rip them out," he joked.

I kept it up till his shorts were tented then pulled them down off his hips. They caught on his cock and I had to pull them nearly to his knees before his cock sprung free, nearly hitting me in the face.

"Damn, that's a lethal weapon," I said, rearing back. "My Godd!"

"I take it you're not disappointed, then," he said.

"Are you kidding? Not at all. Damn, that is impressive!"

"So are you," he said. "Do you want to role play?"

I gave him a questioning look.

"Dave said you might want to play dad and son."

"No, that's not necessary," I said. "I do have a son about your age. But we don't have that kind of relationship."

I had it in my mind that I would take my time and make love to the boy, as I imagined I would with Jase, but that was before he arrived and I had him stripped naked. Now I couldn't wait; I couldn't be bothered with love or even foreplay. I pulled his cock down and took it in my mouth. It was a nice fit. A full fit. I loved it when a cock distended my mouth. As I sucked him I urged him back on the bed. He sat down and lay back, sprawled with his legs wide apart. I rose up over him and when I leaned down, he thrust his cock in my mouth. I rose up from it.

"I'll take it all, just give me a minute to work my way down on it," I said.


"That's okay, I know you're anxious," I said.

"You're good," he said.

"I've hardly done anything yet."

"You use a lot of tongue, I like that," he said.

"How would you like for me to use my tongue in your ass?" I asked.

"Sure, I'd like to try it; I never had anybody do that to me before. Justin says it's awesome," he said. "He told me, always be clean inside just in case somebody wanted to try it."

I looked at him with a surprised scowl. "No kidding, nobody's ever done that to you? You've got an awesome butt. How long have you been doing this?"

He suddenly turned shy. "This is only my fifth time out," he admitted. "And one of those times I went with Justin for a three way."

"Well, Justin is right, let me show you," I said. I lifted his smooth, muscular legs and shoved them toward him. He clasped his hands under his knees and held them to his chest, spreading his butt wide. I knelt down at the side of the bed and buried my face in his ass. His ass cheeks were smooth and the cleft was nearly hairless and I could see his pucker hole was clenching anxiously, as if it knew what I was about to do. I blew my hot breath in the valley between them then began licking the inner slopes of his butt muscles.

"Ohh," he moaned softly. His moan came louder as I dragged my tongue across his hole. "OOhhh!" He pulled his legs tighter to his chest, but his butt was already spread as wide as it would go. He kept moaning as I feasted on his delectable butt.

When I saw his asshole was loosening up I dug my fingers hard into the rim and pulled it wide open, exposing the soft, pinkish inner lining just past the rim. I flicked my tongue around the rosy pit, then just as he let out his first gasp of surprised pleasure, I drove my tongue deep inside him.

"AAAwwhhhh! Awww, Fuck! Fuck, what're you doing!" he cried out. "Oh, shit!....Ohh, Fuck, Justin was so right! Fuck, man, eat it!....eat my ass!"

His ass was open and begging. I swirled my tongue around deep inside the satiny folds of his inner ass and flicked it back and forth, in and out, using my tongue as a tiny cock. He went nuts; crazier than I expected. Within a couple of minutes, he lost his load. From his surprised, moaning cries, I think I knew he was coming before he did. I smashed my face hard into his butt and drove my tongue up inside him hard and deep and the muscles of his ass squeezed and palpitated around my tongue as his body convulsed with his climax.

I continued to tongue him as he came down from it and gasped for air through tiny whimpers of aftershocks. Finally he let go of his legs and they fell across my shoulders. I nuzzled my face into his crotch and licked his perineum and his balls.

"Are you okay, boy?" I asked, my voice muffled by his balls.

"Oh, Godd, I don't know," he gasped. "Fuck, what just happened?" he asked, laughing.

"I don't know but I think you got your nut big time," I said. I stood up with his legs on my shoulders, then bent over him, bending him in half and kissed him. He was so fuckin' cute, lying there streaked with his own cum, that I couldn't help myself. I didn't lick up his cum but I got some in my mouth when I kissed him.

"Mannn, Justin was right. I never shot off so hard in my life," he said, still breathless.

"Looks like you delivered a pretty good load," I said. I rose up, letting his legs down on either side of me. I put my hand down to pull him up.

"Damn, that was too quick; I never gave you your money's worth," he said.

"Yes, you did," I said.

"I'm not going to charge you," he said.

"You can't do that, can you? You work for an agency."

"I'll tell them I couldn't get a hardon," he said.

I laughed. "Yeah, like anybody's gonna believe that."

"Okay, just the agency fee, then," he said.

"How about the full fee and you stay the full hour and a half. I bet we can get that big cock of yours rock solid again." I pulled him to his feet. "Come on, let's go shower."

In the shower together, he said, "You're a really nice man."

"Just wanta be fair to both of us," I said as I took the soap from him and began washing his back and shoulders. "You talk a lot about Justin. Almost makes me wish he was here too."

"I could call him, see if he's free."

"Wouldn't I have to call the agency?" I asked.

"No, if he's free he could just come over. We wouldn't tell Dave."

Remembering how Dave had described Justin--very muscular, rugged good looks, big cock, straight but he would bottom--I didn't have to think about it very long. "Okay, call him," I said.

He went to dial the phone. "Do you want him to come in costume?"


"We do that sometimes, didn't Dave tell you?"

"No, he never mentioned anything about costumes."

"I should've asked you when I made the call back," he said. "We've both got several outfits; farm boy, cowboy, construction worker, football player."

"Football player."

Jamie had told him the room number and that the door would be unlocked but when he arrived he knocked and waited. I had Jamie answer the door.

"I wanted to make sure I had the right room," he said as he came in. "Hi," he said to me.

He was wearing a football helmet which he took off when he came in the room, shoulder pads with a cut-off jersey, heavy sneakers and lace up practice shorts. Actually the shorts were football pants that had been cut off mid-thigh. It was hard to look at him in any way but the sum of his parts; I took him in one visual swoop then went back to look again, taking in his parts. His thighs were massive, the muscles leaping as he walked and his calves were well rounded and hard looking. A couple of layers of rock hard, tanned abs bulged and rippled beneath the cut-off jersey. Shoulder pads always make those guys look broad in the shoulders but judging from his upper body overall, his didn't need much help. His upper arms were thick and well defined and his forearms rippled with sinewy muscle. Even his hands and fingers were muscular. I was especially impressed with his thick, muscular neck. He looked like a college jock. Yes, Justin was everything Dave said he was, and more. From the way Jamie looked at his friend, he thought so too.

"I hope we didn't interrupt anything, calling you on such short notice," I said.

"Naw, I wasn't doing anything important."

"I've heard that before....you were dicking some girl, weren't you?" Jamie said, laughing.

"Yeah, but she wasn't important," Justin joked.

"Well, come on, get out of your uniform, he wants to see what he's paying for," Jamie told him.

Justin looked at me....he was still holding his football helmet under one muscular arm....and I caught his message.

"I think I would like to do that for him," I said as I took the helmet and put it on the dresser. "....if that's okay."

"Be my guest," Justin said holding out his arms.

I took his jersey off of him first and got a whiff of good smelling deodorant or body splash and clean maleness when he lifted his arms, and a good glimpse of his hairy armpits. Not being a jock I wasn't sure about the shoulder pads but he sensed that and guided me in opening the Velcro closures. He ducked out of them when I lifted the pads off. I was right, the pads were strictly for protection; his shoulders didn't need any help. His chest was broad and thick, like two slabs of steak, with darker tan aureoles inset with large, turgid nipples. He had a nice growth of hair across his chest, circling his tits, and a narrow trail of dark hair leading down the center of his abs that plunged into his practice shorts.

I couldn't believe my good fortune as I removed Justin's uniform. I knelt down to remove his shoes, leaving his socks on, leaving him in his homemade practice shorts. He let me fumble with the laces in the shorts. I had to tug on the legs, first one then the other, to work them down his massive thighs. The shorts down to his knees, his lace-up jockstrap became exposed. I pulled the pants off and Jamie took them and I dropped to both knees in front of the god-like teenager.

My hands trembled as I started undoing the laces of his jock that were already loose. He brushed my hands away.

"Use your teeth," he said.

I was taken aback that he was telling me what to do but I welcomed his boldness. Surprisingly, Jamie moved up to hold my hands behind my back. I'd already loosened the laces but it was tedious and awkward, pulling the laces through the holes. I didn't mind. It was exciting and the smell of him was intoxicating.

I opened the jock to expose the thick bush of dark hair that spread around his manhood that bulged in the pouch of the jockstrap. I didn't pull it down right away. With a huge undergear/jockstrap fetish I was mesmerized by this garment. It was dull white, like it never got quite clean in the wash; it looked old and worn. I pressed my face against it and brushed my face back and forth against the bulge. Then I pressed my face against the bare flesh I'd exposed. His hair tickled my nose.

"This is awesome," I said, looking up at him. "I love this jockstrap."

"I'm glad you like it. I do too. It's comfortable. And I admit, a little sexier than the regular ones," he added with a handsome grin. "I like the lace-up better than the standard jocks."

"I think they created this style especially for guys like you," I said.

"Definitely," Jamie put in.

"Dave told me you were a senior in high school," I said. "Are you sure you're not a college senior?"

"He hears that a lot," Jamie said, laughing.

"Nope, high school. My body matured faster than my brain," he said.

I could hardly wait to see in the flesh what he had packed in his jockstrap. There was no cup, the bulge was all him. I was anxious yet I loved the anticipation. Jamie wasn't letting go of my hands and I took it that I was expected to pull the jock down with my teeth. It was tedious as well, tugging on one side then the other as I exposed more and more of his manhood. Such a slow process and I was up so close, I studied his cock and watched it slowly expand. I was so hungry for it and I wanted it in my hands.

"Please, let me use my hands," I said.

Jamie looked up at his buddy. He nodded and Jamie let go of my hands.

I kneaded the mighty bulge with both hands then pressed my face against it and he pressed back. He put one hand around my head and pressed harder. I hooked my fingers in the waistband and began tugging the garment the rest of the way down off his hips. I breathed in the wonderful male-musk smell of him and felt the warmth of his manhood on my face as more and more of it was exposed. I must have gasped when I pulled the shorts down enough for his cock to be freed, because Jamie said, "I told you."

"You told him what?" Justin asked.

"That you're hung like a pony," Jamie said.

"You're the pony, I'm a stallion," he bragged.

"A measly half inch more don't make you a stallion," Jamie joked. "A stud, maybe but not a stallion."

"Close enough," I said. "Fuck, I'm not kicking either of you out of bed," I said as I ran my hands up across his hairy chest and hefted his cock in my other hand. It was heavy, and thick. I imagined the head was going to swell out the size of a baseball. "I was told that you boys would bottom for the right guy and the right price," I said as I helped Justin out of the jockstrap and laid it aside.

Justin glared at Jamie.

"I didn't tell him that, Dave did," Jamie said defensively.

"It'd be great if just one of you would bottom," I said.

Justin looked at Jamie again.

"Okay, I'll do it," Jamie said.

"What do you want me to do?" Justin asked.

"I would like you to fuck me while I'm fucking Jamie," I said. I glanced at Jamie to get his reaction; we had not talked about him being fucked and it didn't look like he was going for it.

"That'll work," Justin said, stroking his rubbery cock.

"Wait!" Jamie said. "I didn't mean that kind of bottom. I....I've never done that before."

"Did you flush out like I told you?" Justin asked.

"Yes, and you were right about that; it was awesome when he ate my ass. But.....'

"Then you're ready," Justin cut in.

"No, I....I c-can't... I meant I would bottom by doing oral. Have you.... Ever done it, that kind of bottoming?"


"I know we've both done oral, I meant....."

"Yeah, that too," Justin said.

"You have?!?!"

"Yeah, I thought I told you."

"No, I would've remembered something like that," Jamie said.

"It might hurt a little at first but then, hold to the top of your head 'cause it'll feel like it's gonna blow off. It's awesome."

The boys worked it out. I think I wanted to fuck Jamie simply because he was more like Jase, and I wanted it even more now that I knew he was virgin. Justin was the more manly one and I wanted him to fuck me. I kept them busy for nearly two hours. Jamie was an awesome fuck and I let him have his turn fucking me. I closed my eyes and imagined it was Jase. The finale was a rough and rousing double fuck that damn near tore my ass up. The two boys earned their money, and I paid them well. I paid Justin a bonus for his jockstrap, imagining how Jase would look in it.

Chapter Forty-Six

Jase Turns Eighteen

I took Jase to school the first day to be sure that all his paper work was in order. We went to the office where the kind lady behind the desk asked another student to take Jase and show him around to his first classes. As it turned out, it was pretty much limited to orientation and purchasing books, and by ten o'clock we were on our way to buy school supplies.

"You can drive yourself to school tomorrow," I told him. He was happy about that.

His second day went well, but the coach wouldn't let him wear the Navy SEAL PT shorts or the T-shirt for gym class. Jase wasn't happy about that. He said if he was going to his dad's old school, he was sure they would let him wear the shorts. It made me sort of wish I'd settled in Jason's home town so the boy could go to his old school. He made some new friends, though, in gym class.

"Listen, Jase, you be careful of any new friends you make in the locker room, they'll wanta be your friend for only one reason," I kidded him, laughing.

On Thursday of the first week of school, Jase didn't come home on time. After well over an hour I was ready to go to the school and check on him. I didn't want to cause him any embarrassment, but he needed to learn to call if he was going to be late. I was just ready to go out the door when he pulled up. I vowed that I would be firm, but not angry. I was surprised when I saw him walking from the barn where he parked the Jeep; he wasn't wearing his school clothes, he was wearing his tan pajama pants and a white T-shirt and sneakers, and carrying Jason's athletic jacket. I didn't realize he'd found it. I couldn't help glancing at the front of his pants; thankful that he obviously had on a jockstrap that created a very impressive bulge, but the outline of his cock wasn't showing. I made a show of looking at my watch as he came up to the porch.

"I'm sorry I'm late," he said.

"Sorry won't cut it next time. We had this conversation once, Jase. You call," I said sternly.

"Yes, sir, I will. But before you ground me, let me explain."

"Okay, what's the delay getting home? Did you have detention or something?" I didn't ask why he was wearing the pajama pants.

"No, I....." He took in a deep breath with his head down, then looked up at me. I was standing on the porch, he on the bottom step. "I didn't go to school today."

"You skipped school? Why?"

"Well, I went, but then I left after first period," he said. "I went to visit my dad's grave. Then I went to his school."

I was completely taken aback, so that I was unable to speak for a moment.

"I know I should have told you, and I should've called," he said, apologetically, as he came up two more steps.

"No, it's....it's okay, Jase....this time," I said, putting my hand on his shoulder.

"I found his jacket in my closet the other day and I wanted to go back to his school, and wear it. And I wanted to be who he was when he left Vietnam," he said, tugging on the waistband of his pajama pants.

"I apologize again for suggesting you get rid of them," I said. "Did you wear them to school?"

"Yes, I changed at school. Everybody liked them. The girls said they show off my butt. Then the guys all wanted to know where they could get a pair."

"Maybe you should start a business, that's the second time somebody asked where they could get a pair," I said. When he didn't go on, I prodded him. "You were telling me about your day."

"Yeah. Well, I sat on his headstone and drank a Coke and talked to him. It's the first time I ever did that....talked to him. I've thought about him a lot, but I never actually talked to him. It was weird, 'cause it was like he was actually listening. I could feel him listening."

I smiled, choking down my own emotions because Jase was so at ease in telling me this. "I've done that," I said. "I used to go there and take two beers. I would drink one and leave the other one on his headstone." He smiled. "You said you went to his old school?"

"Yes, I didn't know if I should, or if they would even let me in, especially wearing these," he said, looking down at his pants. "But they did. A teacher took me to the office and I told them who I was and I just wanted to visit my father's old school. I was also wearing the jacket, and right away the office lady called the coach to see if he was busy and he came up to meet me. He was real nice. He was pretty young, though. He showed me around the school, showed me the trophy case, and even took me down to the locker room and showed me Dad's locker and his jersey and helmet and his old jockstrap. I didn't tell him I'd already been there and seen all of that; I didn't want to spoil it. Then he had me hang around till the bell rang and there was a PE class and guys started coming into the locker room. We stayed in his office and several guys came in to talk to him about stuff, but I knew it was just to check me out, like they thought I was a new kid starting school. When they were all dressed for PE, the coach took me out into the locker room and introduced me to everyone."

"I was a little embarrassed, but real proud. It was real neat. Everybody was real friendly, shaking my hand and everything. Seems like everybody knows about my dad. Then one of the guys said I should do PE class with them. I didn't have any gear, except I was wearing a jockstrap under my pants, but guys offered to loan me PE shorts and shirt. So I did it. When I was changing, I used Dad's locker. I hung his jacket in it and my clothes right alongside his jersey. It was a weird feeling, but a proud one. I was about to pull on the PE shorts one of the guys loaned me when he stopped me. He said, 'Huh-uh, take off your jockstrap.' Then he took Dad's jockstrap out his locker and handed it to me and told me I should wear it. So I did. I know we don't think it's really his, but I imagined maybe he did wear it once or twice, and it was a good feeling putting it on, especially in front of those guys. They all stood around and watched me, like it was a sacred ritual of some kind."

I laughed. "I expect some of them were watching you as more than a ritual," I said.

He smiled, embarrassed again. "Well, yeah, there were a couple of remarks about how I filled out my Dad's jock," he said. "The coach said he wished I'd come to that school, and some of the guys did too. Afterwards, I wasn't going to shower because I didn't have a towel, but everybody just assumed I would shower and a lot of them offered me towels."

"I'll bet they did," I said. "You were their connection to a legend."

"It was a great day. I think I made some new friends," he said.

"Good. I'm glad you went."

"Sorry I didn't call. You can ground me if you want."

"Don't worry about it. I know you weren't thinking about calling me," I said, putting my arm around him as he came up on the porch.

"I felt really close," he said.

"You'll have good dreams tonight," I said.

"I wore my old pants, like that guy at the store said," he said again, tugging on the waistband.

"Yes, I noticed."

"A lot of kids liked them," he said, smiling. "Some girls said I looked sexy in them."

"Be wary of girls who say you look sexy," I said, laughing.

"Wary....I didn't learn that word. What does it mean?"

"Be suspicious of girls who say things like that; they just want your body."

"They can have my body," he joked.

I had marked Jase's birthday on the calendar in my room; October 1st. The exact date of his birth couldn't be determined for certain, and his birth was recorded simply as October at the orphanage, so I had picked that day at random to be put on his papers so it was now considered his official birth date. I wondered later if I had subconsciously chosen the earliest day in October because that made him eighteen sooner but I couldn't remember thinking that at the time. I asked him about a party but he declined. I was a little surprised; I thought he would jump on the idea of a party. But he said he didn't know enough kids well enough yet and it would be awkward, and even embarrassing if not many showed up. I didn't believe that would ever happen but we celebrated quietly by ourselves. I took him out to dinner and gave him a credit card as a gift. He didn't know what it was for, and it was received with somewhat of a what-the-hell-is-this look.

"It's like money, so you don't have to carry money," I explained. "But it's only for gas and emergencies, like if the Jeep breaks down and you have to be towed, or if you need something at school. It's not for buying hamburgers and fries or movie tickets, dates, things like that. You carry money for those things."

He still didn't understand. He looked at the card, front and back, as if there might be a better explanation printed there. "So when I buy gas, I just give them this card and my gas is free?"

"No, no, it's not free," I said, laughing. "You give them the card, they record how much gas you bought and they send me a bill at the end of the month and I pay for everything you bought for the month."

He nodded, smiling. I could tell he liked the idea, but he still didn't fully understand how it worked.

"I was planning on your eighteenth birthday being more exciting," I told him.

"I'm in the United States, that's exciting enough for me," he said.

How many teenagers, I wondered, could feel that much appreciation for the privilege of living in the United States.

"I have something else," I said, reaching into my pocket. I put my hand on the table and opened it.

"I thought I'd lost that, and I was scared to tell you!" Jase blurted as he took the polished shell casing from my hand and held it up by the chain.

"I'm sorry I worried you. You didn't lose it. I took it from your room. I noticed you carried it all the time, I thought it would look good on a chain around your neck; since you gave back the dog-tag and the necklace."

"Thank you! It's really nice," he said excitedly.

Jase went to bed happy. I went to bed struggling with the fact that he was now eighteen years old.

Travis and I made contact again and I had him as a guest over a couple more weekends and we were growing more and more comfortable in each other's company. I had accepted that he was an incurable straight.... it was part of the attraction....and I was happy in my role as an incurable bottom for him. I wasn't a bottom for everyone, but I was for guys like him. Other times, when I visited the gay clubs, I was a top. Jase was becoming comfortable with Travis as well, and, I learned, was figuring us out.

He told me one time after Travis had left on Sunday evening, "Next time, instead of sending Travis to sleep in the spare bedroom.... I know you're doing that on my account....why don't you guys just sleep in the same bed."

I shouldn't have been that surprised to learn that he was so astute, but I was taken aback that he said it. But I wasn't ready to be so open about our relationship, if what Travis and I had could be defined as such. Still, shaken as I was at Jase's sudden astuteness, I was sort of glad he was catching on. But I didn't want to discuss it.

Jase had gone out for football and made the team. He came home after his first practice with a tight, almost mischievous smile as he walked in.

"And that smile is for?" I asked.

"I told you the coach wouldn't let me wear the Navy SEAL PT shorts and T-shirt."

"Yeah? Did he change his mind?"

"No, but he said okay to the jockstrap. First, when he saw me in it, he told me I needed to throw it away and get a new one but I told him I wanted to wear it because it was my Dad's. He gave me sort of a screwy look, like he thought that was weird, but then he sort of laughed and told me okay, as long as it held up."

"Your dad would be proud that you're wearing it," I said.

"I think he would be more proud of this," he said, as he dug in his gym bag and brought out his practice jersey. "Look, I got my Dad's number, twenty-nine," he said, holding it up with great pride.

"No kidding? That's great!"

"Yeah, it's real cool."

"He's gotta be smiling down about now. Only thing is, it's not just an honor; wearing that number is a responsibility. He was a hell of an athlete."

"I know. I told them it was my Dad's number, and not even knowing my Dad, they're gonna be expecting me to fill out his jersey, and I don't know if I can do that?"

"He's frowning about now," I said. "You're not competing with him, Jase; he would tell you you're competing only with yourself.

Jase treated the sport like one of his classes. He knew nothing about the game so he actually studied football and asked me to grill him on it. I think by the time we were finished, he knew the high school football rulebook by heart, probably better than the referees. He'd already been working out in the weight room I set up for him but he took a renewed interest in that. He bought bodybuilding and fitness magazines every month and asked me to help him make up a real workout routine. I went a step further. I went to a health food store and bought him some protein and energy bars, and protein shake mixes.

He took to working out like he did everything else physical and his body responded quickly. Once he learned his way around the weights, he began working out at school more, but he also used his weights at home from time to time.

One time I heard the clanking and grunting upstairs as he was working out, then all was quiet. I went upstairs to check on him and found him standing in front of the mirrors, naked, with a raging, throbbing hardon. My Godd, I thought, he was Jason's son all right. I watched from his door for a moment as he admired himself from all angles. I could see that he was putting on muscle, and he was taking note of it too. Then as he was turning to check out his butt he saw me.

"Oh," he gasped, and his face started to turn red.

"Looking good," I said, to put him at ease.

"I was just checking myself out," he said. "Look at this," he said as he held out his arm to show me the bluish vein running down his bicep. "And this," he said, pointing to the veins along his lower abs.

"Yeah, the girls are gonna love that," I said, eyeing his huge cock. "Yeah, they're gonna like those veins too," I added, laughing.

"Man, I get this way almost every time I work out at home," he said, indicating his hardon.

"Do you have that problem when you work out at school?" I asked.

"No, thank God. I think it's probably because there are other guys around and they keep me distracted from having thoughts like I have here at home."

"Or your body knows it's okay to react any way it wants when you're here by yourself," I said. I didn't ask about the thoughts he was having.

"Maybe if I wore sweat pants and a sweat shirt," he said.

"Don't worry about it. You've got a great looking body. You should be proud of it," I said.

"I am but I want to make him proud," he said, nodding to the poster of his dad I'd had made.

The next time he worked out he asked me to work out with him. We hadn't done that before. He never suggested it and I didn't want to intrude into his space. And, I didn't trust myself. He wore his dad's jockstrap and insisted that I wear mine; he thought perhaps like Jason and I used to do. And if it was okay, that's all we would wear. Of course! But I didn't wear my old one. Instead, I wore the lace-up jockstrap that I'd bought from the young escort, Justin.

"Wow, where'd you get that?" he asked when I came into his workout room.

"Do you like it?"

"Yeah, it's awesome. That'd look great in the locker room. Nobody else would have one like it."

I had to smile that he was concerned with "style" in the locker room. "You can have it," I told him.

His turning eighteen had put things in a whole new perspective and the workout was almost more than I could take. My nerves were on edge.

His stature and good looks made him a hit with the girls, and being an athlete made him even more popular. I was proud and happy when he told me he wanted to ask a girl to go out on a date. His first real date, he said.

"What about that girl you took swimming?" I asked.

"That wasn't really a date. I mean, we didn't really go anyplace, except the river."

"Where are you taking this girl?"

"A movie, I guess, but....well, I've never been to a movie theater, but I hear that's where you usually go on a date," he said.

I hadn't thought about taking him to a movie. It'd been a while since I'd had a reminder of things that the boy wasn't familiar with; things that I took for granted. I watched movies on television but seldom went to the theater. Part of it was I still didn't like being in a crowd of people.

"Well, we'll go to a movie and you can learn... I'll be your date," I joked. "Just don't put your arm around me or try to kiss me," I added, laughing.

So we went to the movie. I stood aside while he bought the tickets and then bought us popcorn and cokes. I led the way into the theater but told him that with the girl, he should lead the way, and maybe take her arm to take her to their seats.

He asked jokingly if he could put his arm around me.

"Sure, but if word gets around, that girl's not going to go out with you," I joked back.

Driving home, he asked if there was anything else he should know.

"Anything else you should know, you'll figure it out," I said with a smile.

"That's not a very good answer; I was asking a serious question," he said.

"All right, sorry. But you need to be more specific about what you want to know," I said.

"Well, like, should I kiss her goodnight when I take her home? Or try to kiss her in the movie theater?"

"Jase, those are questions I can't answer. You need to play it by ear."

"What's that mean, I should play with her ears?" he asked with a scowl.

I laughed, but not too hard. "No, no. Play it by ear means..... well, you have to sort of figure things out as you go. If you put your arm around her in the theater and maybe she sort of snuggles up to you, well that means she likes being close to you. She would probably let you kiss her. Just watch for little signals like that."

"Can I ask you a dumb question?"

"No, I don't take dumb questions," I said, then added, "But the only dumb questions are those that aren't asked."

"What's making out? I've heard guys talking about making out with girls and I think I kinda know but I'm too embarrassed to ask."

I couldn't help a good laugh over that one.

"See, it was dumb," he said.

"No, it wasn't. I'm not laughing at you, Jase, I'm laughing at myself. I never dreamed I would be fielding these kinds of questions. Unless the definition has changed since I was your age, making out is kissing and feeling, everything just short of having sex."

"Do think she will she expect us to have sex?" he asked.

I tried not to appear surprised.

"How old is the girl? What grade is she in?" I asked.

"She's a sophomore," he said.

"Can I ask you something?"


"Have you ever kissed a girl?"

"Yes, only......" He cut himself off sharply and shifted his eyes downward.

I felt bad that I'd asked the question and put him on the spot, and I tried to come to his rescue.

"You've had a lot more life experiences than most of your classmates, Jase, just not the same kind of experiences. I can't speak for the girl. I'm sure she would be tempted to let you have sex with her but keep in mind that she's younger than you and quite possibly a virgin. All I can say is, you'll have to play that by ear, but I wouldn't push it. Give yourself time to get to know people. Trust me, when the time comes, you won't be hurting for sex."

"But what if she wants it? What if she lets me know that? The girl I took to the river did, but I was scared to do anything."

That surprised me that he was scared, considering all he had been through in his earlier years. "Well, I still think you should get to know her better first, but like I said, you'll have to play it by ear. You do remember our little talk about condoms," I reminded him.

"Yes, of course, but I don't have any," he said.

"Oh? Didn't I give you some to put in the glove compartment, the time you had that girl down by the river? Or did you use them?"

"Yes, but I....well, it wasn't with a girl, but I used them....to jack off," he said, looking embarrassed. "I wanted to....well, practice, putting them on, and see how they feel."

"Jase, back in your own country, when you....when you were on the streets...didn't you use condoms?"

"Yeah, but honestly, I never put one on myself."

I smiled and then laughed. "Well, you know where I keep mine," I said.

"It's okay with you, then, if I have sex with her?" he asked.

"I think we've had this conversation, Jase. No, I'm not telling you it's okay, I'm not saying it's not okay. That's not my decision. You are the one who has to be in control of those circumstances. I just want to make sure you keep yourself safe," I said. Then I reached out and ran my hand on the side of his face. "You need to shave before you take this girl out," I said.

"I don't shave, except once in a while," he said, brushing my hand away with a look of embarrassment.

"And it shows." I made a right turn and pulled into a drug store half way down the block.

"Where're we going?"

"To the drug store to buy you a razor," I said.

We went in and found the men's department. I picked out several razors for him to choose from, and some shaving cream. We moved down the aisle and I told him to pick out some aftershave he liked. He tried several of the samplers and picked out Aqua Velva, of all things. I didn't say anything. If he liked it, I was sure the girls would.

At end of the aisle was the condom display. I stopped and he stepped back with me.

"What?" he asked.

"This might be a good time to check these out," I said.

It took him a moment to realize what the display was, then he laughed softly and looked all around, as if to see if anyone was watching. I took a three pack of Magnum Extra Large off the rack and handed them to him. "I don't know if you know, but they come in different sizes," I said.

"Yes, I know, but how do you know I need extra large?"

I laughed. "Well, you are your father's son, and I've seen you with a hardon. But just in case those are too big, get some of these for good measure," I said as I took a pack of just Large off the rack and handed it to him.

He dropped his head with an embarrassed smile.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"I don't need these," he said, putting the pack of large size condoms back on the rack. In a lower voice, he said, "That's the reason I used the others that you gave me to jack off, to see how they would fit."

"All right. Good." I took the three pack of Magnum Extra Large, put them back on the rack and got a pack of a dozen.

"A dozen? I don't need that many," he said.

"Since we use the same size, I think it makes sense to start buying them by the dozen," I said.

He smiled then laughed, shaking his head. "Do you think I would be standing here having this conversation with my Dad if he were alive?"

"Without question. And probably a lot sooner."

We'd picked up a shopping basket to use and I handed it to him. He didn't take it at first.

"You're going to check out," I said, thrusting the basket at him.

"You mean I'm gonna buy these?"

"If you're going to use them, you're going to buy them," I said. He took the basket and when we got to the checkout I didn't go through the line with him. Instead, I went on and waited at the front of the store. He didn't seem at all embarrassed, for which I was proud. He didn't notice, either, how the young man at the checkout was taking notice of the box of condoms and checking him out.

I kidded him about it. "You made a big hit back there with the guy at the checkout," I said.

"I did? I didn't notice," he said.

"He looked like he was ready to throw himself on the counter and let you have your way with him. He especially appreciated that you were buying Magnum Extra Large condoms."

Jase spent an inordinate amount of time getting ready for his date but the results were stunning. He came downstairs wearing jeans that hugged his muscular thighs and high and tight butt, and a blue and yellow striped T-shirt that fit him like a glove.

"Damn, you believe in showing it off, don't you?" I joked.

"What do you mean?" he asked, in a serious tone, looking down at himself. "This isn't right for a date?" he asked.

"It's perfect for a date, but don't count on getting to the movie."

"Why not? I don't understand," he said.

"Didn't you look at yourself in the mirror? That girl is going to be all over you before you get pulled away from the curb."

He laughed then. "Aww, Brad, it's just the way I'm put together, I can't help it," he said, with an embarrassed grin.

"Right. Like you're not helping it by working out to build up those muscles even more," I scoffed.

"That's for sports," he said.


I was surprised how nervous he was when it came time to leave and pick up the girl. I soon learned part of the reason for his nervousness.

"If she does want to have sex, Brad, where would I go for that? Should I bring her back here?"

"Absolutely not!" I said emphatically. "I really don't know where teenagers go for sex these days, but not here. Anyway, I think you're worrying too much about it. I think you should just go to the movie and have fun. When you get to know people better at school, you'll be able to talk to other guys about that stuff."

"Do I have a curfew since I'm eighteen?" he asked.

"Do you need one?" I asked.

"I don't think so," he said.

"Enough said."

When he had gone, I went upstairs. Passing by the bathroom, I noticed that the razor on the sink wasn't the one I'd bought for him. It was Jason's razor that he'd found in his Dad's shaving gear. The one I'd bought hadn't even been opened.

As I went past the open door of his room I stopped and stepped back. On the walls were pieces of military gear, Jason's web belt, canteen, and all the stuff that I had shipped back. He had gone through Jason's duffle bag.

I lay in bed thinking about Jason the elder, where I had come in my life without him, and about the younger version of him who I was now responsible for. "So you left me to lie awake and worry about him," I muttered quietly.

I had not told Jase that he had to check in when he came in after his date but he came to my door after coming quietly up the stairs.

"Brad, are you awake?" he whispered.


"I hope you didn't stay awake, waiting up for me," he said as came into the room.

"I did," I said, as I moved over to make room for him to sit on the bed.

"You don't need to do that. Remember where I came from," he said.

"Let's don't even have that conversation," I said. "I'll worry till you're home as long as you're living under my roof, no matter how old you are."

"I won't wake you when I come in," he said.

"Yes, you will," I said. "I didn't tell you this, but even though you don't have a curfew, you have to come in and wake me to let me know you're home safe and sound."

"All right."

"How'd it go?" I asked.

"It was great. We went to the movie, then walked around the mall, saw some kids we knew, and we hung out. We didn't go anywhere else."

"See, it doesn't have to always be about sex," I said.

"Yeah, we had fun. But now I'm horny," he said.

"And you have no clue how to take care of that," I joked.

"No, you wanta show me?" he joked back.

"Get away from me, and go jack off," I said, laughing.

"Speaking of that, I was wondering....going to ask you....we're so open and up front about everything, I was wondering if it'd be okay if I kept porn in my room."

I did a little guffaw, then laughed. "Jase, I don't think that's quite the way it usually works. I mean, boys hide porn in their rooms, they don't ask if they can have it."

He shrugged. "I just didn't feel the need to hide anything from you, and I would rather not," he said.

"Well, if you hadn't asked, and even if I'd said no, you would probably find someplace to hide it anyway. But tell me, where do you get porn these days?"

"Guys at school have it....magazines and books....they pass it around," he said.

"One condition," I said.

"What?" he asked.

"You have to share whatever you bring in the house."

He laughed and punched at me. "That's a deal, if you share yours," he said.

"I don't have porn. My porn is up here," I said, tapping my head.

He stood up. "Thanks, Brad," he said.

"Don't mention it. Just don't forget to share," I said.

"No, thanks for worrying about me." He lingered for a second or two, then he leaned down and kissed me on the forehead as he squeezed my shoulder. "I love you, Brad."

I was taken aback by his sudden display of affection. I automatically brought my arms up around his shoulders and he hugged me with one arm.

"I love you, Jase."

He held the embrace and I thought, if he doesn't raise up....but then he did and I was safe.

"G'night," he said.

"G'night, Jase. Don't forget to jack off," I added. He flipped me off.

Jase was true to his word. A few days later, I found two girlie magazines on my bed.

I quickly discovered that I was more prepared to be a father than a housekeeper to a teenager. We shared kitchen duties, like doing the dishes and sometimes Jase prepared one of his famous Vietnamese meals, and we went to the grocery store together. But the rest of the house seemed to go begging. With a little more effort and organization, we could've done it ourselves, but I finally hired a woman to help out. Not a full time, live-in maid, but someone to come in a couple of days a week to clean and change the beds and do the laundry if it was piled up. Rosita didn't like my washer and dryer so she took our laundry home with her and brought it back along with the ironing on the second day. She was a fiery little Spanish woman of thirty something, with a bright smile and a personality to match. She was a little on the hefty side but beautiful in the face.

I hadn't noticed or given much thought to young Jase's private sexual urges. I knew he jacked off to the girlie magazines like all teenage boys but I never gave a thought to where all that boy cum ended up. It just never occurred to me. Till one day when I went into his workout room. I was going over his workout log that I'd made up for him, checking his progress, when I noticed the mirrors and the cloudy streaks and smears on them. I broke out laughing. It was cum! The young stud was jacking off, watching himself, and shooting his loads all over the mirrors, and hadn't done a good job cleaning it up. Then I got another stark eye opener one day when Rosita came with the baskets of laundry and freshly ironed clothes. As always, I helped her carry the baskets in and upstairs.

"That boy of yours, he is like a randy pony," she said as I was following her up the stairs.

I had come to know how out spoken Rosita was and I liked that about her, but I was taken aback by her remark about Jase.

"What? Has he said something? Or tried something?" I asked, not believing that he would have the balls to try to put the make on her.

"No, no, no, he would never do that," she said, laughing heartily. "What he does by himself, I'm talking 'bout."

I knew what she was talking about and I was suddenly embarrassed. She wasn't. She was very matter of fact.

"Hees shorts, hees T-shirts, the towels and sheets, the peellowcases, sometimes eeeven his socks. Sometimes I have to pry them apart. And I have to boil everything in bleach water to get the stains out. I don't know what you feedin' him but he like four or five teenage boys all in one."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Rosita, I will speak to him," I said, hoping my embarrassment wasn't as obvious as I felt. I wanted to crawl in a hole.

"Pleese do," she said. "I understand theese theengs, I had three brothers, but my daughter....she helps with the laundry and ironing, and she does not need to know about such things about boys yet."

"I will speak to him," I assured her. "If I had known......"

She gave me a smiling scowl that broke into laughter. "If you had known? You were a teenager."

"Yes, I was. I'm sorry, Rosita. I will......"

"You will speak to heeem," she finished for me When I paid her that day, I added a big tip. She smiled with appreciation, fully aware of the reason for it. I spoke to Jase that evening in blunt terms. He was working out, clad in sneakers and a pair of onionskin running shorts with no jock underneath. I went in and sat on the end of the bench while he was doing squats with a pretty hefty amount of weight on the barbell. It was a wonderful sight, seeing his powerful thighs bulging and rippling under the weight as he pushed up, and his thick manhood hanging out one leg of the shorts when he went down in the squat position. He thought I was just watching him work out till he racked the barbell.

"I had a talk with Rosita today," I began. "Actually, she had a talk with me, about the laundry."

He looked at me, with a look between blank and questioning.

"There's a little problem we need to take care of," I said.

"What kind of a little problem," he asked.

"Well, actually, it's apparently a pretty big problem," I said.

"All right, what kind of big problem?"

"Well, Rosita says she practically has to pry your shorts and T-shirts and the pillowcases apart, and she's having trouble getting the stains out."

He turned a little pale, his mouth hanging open. "She told you that?"

"Yes. Rosita is pretty outspoken," I said.

"Oh, damn, I am so embarrassed, I'll never be able to look at her again."

"Rosita's a big girl, with three brothers, but she shouldn't have to deal with that here," I said. The poor kid's face had turned red with embarrassment. "Don't worry, we'll take care of it. I want you to pick up some extra hand towels next time you're at the mall. I want you to keep a stack of towels in your room, and you can run them through the washer yourself."

He seemed quite relieved at my solution. "And what the fuck is this?" I went on with a tight, mischievous grin, motioning to the mirrors he was standing in front of. "You need to use Windex to clean your mirrors; water doesn't cut through cum."

He dropped his head, further embarrassed, and I started laughing.

"Hey, it's nothing to be embarrassed about, but you really should clean the mirrors better, before you have to explain it to your friends," I said. "And believe me, they'll figure it out."

He laughed with me, shaking his head. "You know....it's gonna sound perverted, but sometimes, watching myself, seeing my muscles bulge and ripple, and I read in the magazines that lifting heavy weights increases testosterone, and sometimes I get this tingling feeling between my legs and I just gotta relieve it."

"Why would that be perverted?" I asked.

"It's like having sex with myself," he said.

"You are having sex with yourself. That's not perverted. Hell, hundreds of millions of guys do that every day," I said.

"But it's like I'm my own partner, watching myself jack off."

"It's not perverted, Jase," I assured him. "You've got a beautiful body. Nothing wrong with getting turned on by it. Be proud of it, and enjoy it."

"You are the coolest guy, Brad. You understand everything," he said

"Hey, well I've been there, done that," I said.

Chapter Forty-Seven

Jase, Hunter and the Jocks

I knew Jase was happy that Hunter had come for the weekend. It was funny the way the two got along; with the years difference in their ages; it was like Hunter was the older brother that Jase never had. I went up the stairs--it was late Saturday afternoon--and started down the hallway. I had recently carpeted the stairs and hallway and the carpeting muffled the squeaks in the floorboards. At Jase's partially open door I was stunned to see him and Hunter on the bed, going at it. I think what stunned me the most was that Jason was on top, fucking Hunter's upturned ass like there would be no tomorrow. I froze in my tracks and watched for a moment, till Hunter happened to toss his head in my direction and saw me. His mouth flew open and his eyes bugged out but I quickly turned and went back downstairs. I left the house and walked past the barn to the woods and the creek. I didn't want to be there when Hunter left; I didn't know what I would say, and I didn't want to embarrass them. Who was I kidding? I didn't want to face them. I would have to face Jase, sooner rather than later, for he wouldn't be leaving. As it turned out, I wasn't able to avoid Hunter either.

From my vantage point in the woods I saw him come out of the house. He knew where I would be and he headed straight for the woods. I squatted down with my back against a tree and waited.

"Uncle Brad?" he said as he approached me.

I looked up at him

"I'm really sorry about that; I don't know what else to say."

"It's nothing to apologize for. But I didn't know you were so into getting fucked," I said.

"I wasn't. Fuck, I hope you're not pissed....I mean, it just happened."

"No, I'm not pissed, just surprised," I assured him. "But getting fucked doesn't just happen. Things like that are made to happen. And you're a few years older than him, he's barely eighteen....that sort of makes you responsible."

"Yes, I know, and I take full responsibility, but damn, he's hard to resist."

"Nobody said you had to resist him, I just want you to face up to the responsibility," I said. "Like I said, I was surprised, that's all. Hell, there's no harm done, it's not like he's a virgin."

"Godd, no, he couldn't be a virgin, the way he moves. Have you resisted him?" he asked with a mischievous grin.

I was surprised and a little perturbed that he would ask. "Yes, I have," I said.

"Mann, I don't see how. He is hot! And if you're not pissed, well, I hope it's okay, then, if it happens again sometime," he said.

"He's a big boy, he makes his own decisions," I said.

"Maybe, uh....we could all get together sometime," he said.

"Maybe, sometime, but not anytime soon." I shoved myself to my feet.

"Thanks, Uncle Brad, for understanding," he said as we walked toward the house.

"Oh, I understand," I said. "Believe me, I understand. I'm just not ready to go there yet, if ever."

Jase was sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for me, when I returned to the house after Hunter left.

"I know....you're surprised," he said.

"You could say that," I said.

"You shouldn't be. I was a teenager in Ho Chi Minh City," he said.

"And that's what teenagers in Ho Chi Minh City did?" I asked.

"Yeah. Those with American blood," he said, matter-of- factly. "That's what we were good for, us with All American good looks and big American GI cocks," he went on to explain.

That surprised me when he seemed so shy about the girls he dated.

"The Vietnamese women missed the American GIs after they all left, and we were the best they had; their sons. We were the best looking and best built, and the biggest so they loved us for what we could do for them, even though they were officially supposed to hate us. The men hated us, their women didn't."

"I wish I could've come and gotten you out sooner, Jase," I said.

"You came when you could. I'm glad you came at all," he said. "Are you mad at me, or mad that it was your nephew?" he asked.

"No. Hunter's a big boy. He's a grown man, he knows his own mind," I said.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked.

"No, Jase, I'm not mad at anybody. Hell, it doesn't bother me, I just wasn't expecting to walk in on it."

"Did you ever do it with Hunter?" he asked, and the wry, thin smile.

"No." I wasn't sure he believed me but I didn't try to convince him one way or the other."

"Can I ask you something, Brad?" he asked.

"Of course. I've told you, you can ask me anything."

"I know you told me that, but I wasn't sure about this."

"Anything means anything," I said.

"Well, first, I'm glad it's out in the open, about your sexual preference. I knew....I mean, there was Travis from the air base, and the male escort, and we've danced around it a few times, but it's never been said outright."

"How did you know about the male escort?" I asked.

"I saw the ad that you left on the kitchen counter," he said.

"That was careless of me. But none of this is a question,"

"Did you ever have sex with my Dad?"

I was stunned speechless, and I knew I showed it, but Jase's deadpan, serious expression never faltered. He wasn't being accusatory, he was asking because he wanted to know. I didn't know how to answer him, except for the truth, which I was sure was already all over my face.

"Yes," I replied.

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence as I waited for his response. Finally, I asked, "Are you upset with me for that? Or would you rather I'd lied to you?"

"I don't want you to ever lie to me," he said. "And no, I'm not upset about it."

"It was my doing, Jase. I don't want you to think any less of your Dad," I said.

"It was war time; I wouldn't judge what anybody did during war time," he said. "If you were there for each other when you needed each other....well....."

I was relieved yet apprehensive that Jase had this new knowledge about me and his father and I wondered how long he had suspected. I couldn't help wondering what he would do with it; how it might affect him.

"Anything else?" I asked after a long moment.

"No, I just wondered."

"If there is anything else, after you have time to think about it, don't hesitate to come to me," I said.

With everything so out in the open, I began thinking of the two high school jocks from Jason's old high school. I thought of inviting them for a visit, not just for me, but for Jase as well. I told him how I'd met them, when they were assigned to be my escorts at the dedication of the school stadium.

"It might be fun getting to know them. They wouldn't know your dad, they would be only a year or so older than you, but they could tell you about the legend surrounding him," I said. I skipped telling him of the five us spending the night in the cabin after the dedication ceremony.

""Maybe I saw them when I visited the school," he said.

"No, they would've graduated by now," I said.

"Tell me, how well could I get to know them?" he asked with a wry smile.

"I don't know, you would have to see where the chips fall," I said.

He agreed, and I called Lance; his was the only phone number I had. He was happy to hear from me and he was sure that Mason would definitely want to come for a visit so we set up a date. I didn't tell them about Jase; they thought they were coming to visit me. I would let them be pleasantly surprised.

It worked out well. The boys hit it off right from the start, and Lance and Mason were very surprised to meet Jase when I told them who he was.

"Wow! You're Jason Seaborne's son!"

"But I never knew him," Jase said.

It was funny to watch them, parrying with each other, acting so jock-studly when it was obvious they were both hot for Jase. And Jase seemed to take a strong interest in them, or at the very least he was enjoying their attention. They played catch and football out in the yard and explored the woods, and went swimming in the creek. As much as I wanted to join in, I pretty much left them to themselves. I had watched them going back to the woods and seen that they hadn't bothered to stop and get towels out of the cabinet in the barn, and when they came out of the water I was on hand with towels. The sight of their tight, muscular bodies dripping wet was almost more than I could take. I was sorely tempted to take the plunge. I noticed how the two boys looked at me, as if they were expecting me to do just that....that was, no doubt, the reason they had accepted my invitation. But I wasn't ready to be so bold in front of Jase.

At supper Jase was still full of questions for the boys about what they knew about his dad. They knew about Jason Seaborne. Every jock who ever played at the school knew about Jason Seaborne.

When it came time to go to bed, there was no hesitation about the sleeping arrangements; none of them objected to my suggestion that they all three sleep in Jase's room so they could talk, because it was very obvious that the three boys had connected. I wasn't sure Jase was completely aware of the probabilities of the connection although I'd seen his interest. As badly as I wanted to join them, and I knew they wouldn't care, I decided against it. I still wasn't ready to be that open with Jase, to be a part of a four-way sexual encounter. I heard them talking and laughing in the room, and suffered through the quieter groans and moans of what sounded like raw teenage pleasure that came later.

The next morning, Lance and Mason came downstairs before Jase while I was fixing breakfast, wearing just their shorts.

"Jase said you wouldn't care if we came down like this," Lance said.

"You're fine. Where is Jase? I said.

"He's in the shower. He let us use it first," said Lance.

"So how'd it go last night?"

"Jase is one hot dude," Mason said.

"And huge!" Lance put in.

"Oh. So he nailed you," I said, smiling smugly.

"Like a goddamn jackhammer," said Lance. "Man, he's like a machine."

"Twice," Mason said, holding up two fingers. "Both of us, twice. Godd, that guy can fuck. I wish he lived closer, and went to our school."

"Listen, we were talking last night, and wondering....how come you didn't join us?" Lance asked. "I mean, you obviously set this up for us. Jase didn't say one way or the other but we got the impression that you and Jase have never done anything like that together."

"No, we haven't. I think it turned out for the best. I thought you three would be good for each other," I said.

Mason put in, "Well, not that it's any of our business, Mr. Courter, about you and Jase, but we think he's kind of wondering why," Lance said.

"He'll just have to wonder," I said. "That's just not our relationship."

When Jase came down in his briefs the two boys made a fuss over how hot he looked.

"You didn't tell me I was going to be raped," Jase said as he was pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"Who got raped!" Mason exclaimed to their laughter.

I didn't nose around Jase's room, but I went in from time to time when he wasn't there just to get the feel of him, and I could feel his dad as well, especially with the array of military gear that Jase had put on the walls. One of those times I found a notebook laying open on his desk. I was drawn to it and shrugged off the twinge of guilt as I began to read what he had written.

I never knew you, and

I wonder why you left me

Without saying goodbye,

I never heard you say you love me.

It should be hard to love someone you never knew But I do.

It's Jase, I've got your name,

Can you hear me thru my tears?

I wish I knew you;

I hope you can feel my love for you, thru the sadness.

If I could, I would find you.

If you're watching, If you're listening,

Know my love for you will never die.

I look up in the sky at night and I think I see your star.

I carry your picture in my mind;

So I will know, always, the man you are.

And the man you are is the man I will be.

I am happy you are my father;

I am sad.

I am the lost child of my father, wandering,.

I wonder, can you see me? Can you hear me?

I want so bad to know you, Dad.

But most of all I want to know, Why you left me without saying goodbye,

Without saying you love me

I was quite taken by his words. I guess I never realized that the boy had such deep emotions, and I choked up a little that he missed his father so much. And I, a poor substitute, was trying to fill his place.

Also on the desk was a letter he had started to Sister Marie. I shouldn't have, but I read what he had written. He spoke of the boy who I remembered was not of American descent, who wouldn't say goodbye to Jase when we left. He told Sister Marie to tell him hello, and that he was going to buy something to send to him like he promised. Well down into the letter, he wrote, "Mr. Courter, I call him Brad, is wonderful to me. And I don't think it's all because I am the son of his best buddy from the war. He acts like he really cares for me as his own, like he even loves me. He treats me like a son, and I want to act like his son when I'm more sure of our relationship. I mean no disrespect to my real father, but I would someday like to call him Dad, because that's the way I feel about him."

I began to tear up, unable to read through the wet in my eyes. Ironically, I had considered asking if he would mind if I called him son.

Chapter Forty-Eight

Jase and Me

I was growing comfortable with my life, even though I was looking middle-aged in the eyes. It was a bit of shock when I first saw it in the mirror but I got over it and I got used to it, as all men must. I had advanced in my job, with several worksites under my supervision. I could tell Jase was feeling at home and unlike most teenagers, actually seemed to enjoy my company. There were times when I felt more like the boy's father than just his dad's best friend who had taken him in. I was pleased more than he knew when he told me one time that he was glad I wasn't afraid to talk so openly about Jason, that I kept his Dad alive for him. I was even more pleased, and stunned, the time he asked if he could call me Dad.

He asked me, then charged on. "I know you're not my dad, and maybe you didn't even want a son, but then you got stuck with me....."

"Whoa! Whoa!" I stopped him. "I didn't get stuck with you, and I don't want to ever hear you say that again. Nobody dumped you on my doorstep, I came to Vietnam to get you. It was not something I had to do. I could've pretended I didn't get your letters, from you or Sister Marie. I could've left you there."

"No you couldn't," he said with an even stare, and I knew what he meant.

"No, I couldn't. But you weren't dumped on me, Jase. I wanted you here with me. I wanted you to be part of my life. I love you Jase, and yes, I would be honored to have you call me Dad. But that means I would have to call you Son."

"Would you want to? Do you think my Dad would care if we did that?" he asked.

"No, he won't care. I know he would be honored, too. In fact, in a letter that your dad gave to Sister Marie at the orphanage, acknowledging that he was probably your father, he also mentioned my name, and that had to be for a reason."

"Then if it's okay....Dad...if I call you that." He was biting his lip. I held mine steady.

"It's okay. I'm proud to have a son," I said. It was an emotional moment but I was determined not to let my emotions get the best of me.

I wrestled with it as much as I'd ever wrestled with anything in my life--the feelings I had for the boy. And I fought them, without really knowing why. It was made worse after the dad/son thing was settled. I was essentially talking about my son now. Despite that, for the first time, I began to have doubts about my decision to bring the boy to the States. He had a better life with me, but I might've been better off leaving him in Vietnam; except for the guilt I would have had to live with. I might have been better off not knowing about him in the first place. I had talked to the priest, for all the good that did, for it was nothing he'd said that gave me the strength to keep my emotions in check and my feelings under control for as long as I had. I had talked to God. I had talked to myself. I even talked to Jason. I talked to him lying in bed at night. I talked to him walking in the woods. I took a lot of those walks in the woods after Jase turned eighteen. On more than one occasion before Jase's arrival into my life, I spent the night in the woods, in my sleeping bag, alone with his father. And the frustration... I had my own way of dealing with that; the gay clubs and bath house, and occasionally, I met Travis for a night of unbridled sex.

As the turmoil over the boy grew worse in my head, I spent more nights in the woods. It was getting strange, but I felt at home out there. I never invited Jase and he never asked to come along. And he never said anything about it when I did. He knew I wanted to be by myself. I was sure he thought it had something to do with the war. It was quiet there and I thought I could think straight. But one night I just went for a walk; I didn't take my sleeping bag. I walked till the sun went down, letting my thoughts tumble around in my head, without trying to grab hold or make sense of any of them. Somewhere in the chaos of my mind I knew the truth was lurking and waiting.... no, demanding.... to come out. A truth, and a weakness, that I had to face. And, dammit, Jason, wherever he was, had to face it with me.

"Jason, I can't do this any more," I began. "I can't live with all the stuff that's cluttering up my head. I'm fucked up in the head enough without all of this. I need some peace in my life. You made this boy. You caused him to be brought into that God-forsaken world over there, then you left it. You left me and you left him, and son-of-a-bitch if you didn't see to it that we were brought together. So none of this is my fault, and it's not fair that I have to deal with this shit."

"Yeah, I'm blaming you, Jason, but I'm glad you put him in my charge. I'm glad you trusted me enough to know that I would take him and love him and care for him. I love him like he was my own son. I guess he is my own now, in a way, because he's sure as hell not anybody else's, so he's my son now. That's not my doing, although I'm proud to call him my son....he brought it up. He asked me if he could call me dad. What was I supposed to say? But I don't know, buddy, if you should've trusted me to keep my distance with him. Knowing what you and I had between us, and then dropping this young, teenage god in the middle of my life, I don't know what you expected of me. I just know I can't do it any longer."

"I've fought it as long as I can. I've spent too many sleepless nights, lying in bed with that gorgeous replica of you just down the hall, and I'm not going to fight it anymore. He's a big boy now....he's eighteen....so I'm going to tell him all about us and see what comes of it. I'm telling you first because if you have any powers of intervention up there, then you give me a sign, or you stop me. Otherwise, if he's willing--and I know he is--well, you know better than anybody what's gonna happen."

I paused and waited for an answer; some sign that Jason had heard me. There was a sudden rush of wind and a rustling of leaves overhead. It sent a chill down my spine. Was that his answer? I waited a moment longer. When there was nothing else, I left it at that and walked back to the house. I didn't realize till then that my stomach was tied in knots. I didn't know if I'd gotten an answer or not, or what that answer was.

To be sure, I gave it some time; I didn't know how the hierarchy of heaven worked. I waited for another sign. None came. So I took that rush of wind through the leaves as the sign I'd asked for.

I returned home to find Jase was stretched out on the couch in the living room. I took time to pour myself a drink of bourbon from a bottle in the cabinet, thought it would help untie the knots in my gut.

"Jase...." I started to call him Son, but it was somehow not appropriate for the moment. "I have something I want to show you," I said from the doorway.

He rose up. "Do you want me to come with you, Dad?" he asked.

"I'll get it; it's upstairs," I said. I was still getting used to having a teenage boy call me Dad, and me calling him Son. I liked it, but it was taking some getting used to, especially on my part, and times like this when it just didn't sound right.

He stayed while I walked through the living room. But at the bottom of the stairs I paused. No, he should come with me. "Come on up with me, Jase," I called out.

He got up from the couch and followed me up the stairs to my room. He sat on the edge of the bed while I got the shoebox out of my closet. I sat on the bed beside him. My hand trembled as I removed the lid.

"These are pictures I took of your Dad. Some of them may surprise you but you know about us and you're old enough to handle them." I had them arranged in order; the order that I liked to look at them when I brought them out to remember. Most times when I made the journey back in my mind I stripped off my clothes and jacked off, slowly, relishing the pleasure of each photo. But I hadn't done that in a long time.

I handed him the first several, taken at the room in the Trent Hotel, of Jason taking off his combat gear and uniform. In the first one without his shirt, his awkwardness at posing shone through, still. Three more of him unlacing and taking off his combat boots and undoing his belt, his muscles bulging. The next ones, I still had to smile at his tight smile as he unzipped his pants and shoved them down. Jason glanced at me a couple of times between looking at the pictures. He was visibly surprised but not wide-eyed.

The next one he was in the tattered jockstrap, his pants sagging around his knees. I still thrilled at the way the worn garment sagged under the weight of his manhood.

"Hey, is that the same jockstrap I've got?" Jase asked excitedly.

"Yes. Maybe I didn't tell you, but it's the one he wore in high school."

"Yeah, you told me. Damn, he sure did fill it out, didn't he," Jase said. I noticed Jase was spreading the pictures out across the bed and reviewing all of them each time he laid down new ones.

In the next ones Jason was pulling his pants off and standing with his thumbs hooked in the waistband of his jockstrap, about to take it off. I thought suddenly, as I was handing him the next pictures, that I should've gone through them and laid these aside, but it was too late; Jase picked up on it.

"What are those marks, and bruises?" Jase asked.

"He was captured and held prisoner for a while. Not long," I added quickly. "He escaped." I laughed softly and went on to tell him how he used his body, his big cock, to gain favor with his captors. Jase thought that was cool and funny.

The next one was of him standing with his foot cocked up on the bed, drying his legs after showering, with several more of him doing cutting up, sexy poses and laughing, and in each one his big cock very visibly looked bigger. Perhaps I shouldn't have shown him the next ones, but Jase would've asked for them if I'd laid them aside or tried to hide them from him.

"I told your Dad for these, I needed a wide-angle lens," I said as I handed him the ones with his cock in a raging hardon.

"Damn, he is huge!" Jase exclaimed.

"Yeah, he joked one time that these pictures would be something to show our grandchildren," I said. "And here I am showing them to his son."

"I don't know if I'll be showing them to my son," Jase said.

In the next two pictures, Jason had his hand wrapped around his cock, as if he was stroking it.

"Wow! I can't believe you guys took these," Jase said.

"Some would think it inappropriate that I'm showing them to you. I hope you're not offended," he said.

"Heck no," he said. "But where the heck did you get them developed?"

"At a little photo shop in Saigon. I told the old guy they were for his girlfriend."

"But they weren't, huh," Jase said, eyeing me with knowing suspicion.

"No. No, they weren't," I said. "They were for us; for me actually. I asked him if I could take some pictures of him. He knew they were for me." I was feeling more comfortable, knowing that Jase had already guessed about me and his father.

The next ones were from the back, with Jason bent over drying his legs, then some of him just bent over in a pose. Jase broke out laughing when I handed him the ones of Jason pulling his butt apart for me.

"He's mooning you!" he said, laughing.

His next pose was him sitting on the chair with legs spread apart and his heavy balls hanging low. He had his thumb pressed against the base of his cock to make it stand up straight and tall.

"Oh, Mann, I can't believe these," he said.

I thought about repressing the rest of the pictures I held in my hand but before I could lay them aside, Jase glanced over at me. "See if you can believe these," I said, handing him the last of the pictures, ones of Jason stretched out on the bed, his legs spread out, stroking his cock. And in one where he was motioning for me to join him. He studied those for a long time.

"Did you?" Jason asked finally, with a tight grin.

"Did I what?"

"Here," he said, showing me the picture. "He's motioning for you to get in bed with him. Did you?"

"Yes, of course," I said, without hesitation. "You asked me if your Dad and I had ever had sex together, and I told you, yes. That was just one of many times."

He took several moments to look at the pictures again. "Man, these are really awesome pictures," he said. "I can't believe what I'm looking at, I mean, how many guys have got pictures like this of their Dad. They are awesome. My Dad was awesome."

"More than you know," I said. "I never dreamed when we were taking them, that I would ever be showing them to his son."

"Do you think he would care that you are?"

"No. He's probably up there sharing this moment, laughing with you right now," I said.

He looked upward and said. "If you're up there, Dad, you're awesome!" Then he looked at me, the smile gone, his dark eyes penetrating, as if he were looking into my soul. Jason was able to do that, and it gave me a chill to see that his son could too.

"I think you loved him, didn't you." he said, his eyes unwavering.

It was a strange question, a teenage boy asking another man if that man loved his father. He didn't phrase it like a question, but I could see that he was waiting for an answer.

"Yes. I loved him, very much. More than anything or anybody in this world," I said.

"It's funny how things worked out," he said.


"My Dad, being loved by another man. I don't think he loved my mother. I think it was just sex between them. And now, the man who loved him has his son."

"It couldn't have worked out better," I said, as I reached over and put my hand on his leg. "Well, it could've....if your Dad had lived, my life would be complete, and yours would be more complete."

"I know I can't make it complete for you, even as your son," he said, sounding rather sad.

"No. Not that I don't love you, Jase....you know I do....but nothing can fill that big hole that your dad's death left in my life. I won't be complete till I'm with him again."

I left my hand on his leg, as an overture, to see how he would respond. He flexed his thigh muscle several times and I took it as a signal, but something made me draw my hand back and the moment was lost.

I began making plans, subconsciously at first, thinking how, when and where. I was reluctant but the plans forged on in my head. I thought of a long weekend at a cozy bed and breakfast, but that seemed too mushy. I checked on cruises to the Caribbean. I even checked on a gay cruise, but I wasn't sure Jase would be comfortable in those surroundings. Then I saw an ad for Key West that stuck in my mind. I didn't tell Jase of my plans; I would surprise him with a trip over Thanksgiving break from school. I had things all arranged except the reservations when things took an unexpected turn.

It was early November, unseasonably warm, when in casual conversation over supper one night, Jase mentioned sleeping out.

"I don't know why you haven't slept out before," I said

"I've wanted to, but I was afraid to mention it," he said.

"Why would you be afraid to mention it?" I asked with a curious frown.

"I thought the woods was sort of like your own private refuge. Like maybe you went back there to get away, or go back, like to a safer Vietnam; the jungle without the war. To be with my dad."

I stared at him, wondering how a boy his age could be so astute.

"All of that is true but the woods isn't off limits to you," I said.

"I know, I've gone there many times but not with you; I just didn't want to intrude on that part of your life," he said. "I know you've taken others back there, but I thought if I went, because of who I am, I might bring back things that you wanted to forget."

"Jase, you don't conjure up bad memories for me," I told him. "I wish when you have concerns like that, that you would speak up so we can talk about them."

He just shrugged.

"Well, if we're going to sleep out, we'd better be doing it before the weather changes," I said.

His face lit up. "Like tonight?" he asked anxiously.

"The weather's just right, and we won't have many more of these nights," I said.

When we were finished eating, we got the sleeping bags and headed back to the woods.

"Do you think it's too cold to go swimming?" he asked as we were walking toward the barn.

"It'll be cold but it's not going to get any warmer," I said. "I'll get some towels out of the cabinet, and we can build a small fire."

The night chill was already settling in. We went over the footbridge and followed the creek several dozen yards to where the bank sloped down to the water's edge, near where I had spent the night with Adam Randall. I built a fire while Jase unrolled the sleeping bags over the thick grass.

"Are you going in?" he asked, as he began taking off his clothes


Watching him strip off his clothes in the aftertime of dusk gave me chills down my spine, and I wished he had spread the sleeping bags out instead of simply unrolling them.

"Don't dive in," I reminded him when he was naked.

I stood, mesmerized, as I watched him move gracefully toward the creek, his tight, muscular butt flexing with each step. He waded out a few feet then bent forward to dive under the surface. I quickly finished taking off my clothes and joined him. We swam for a half hour or so, with no grab-ass or horseplay. He seemed quietly serious, and I thought he might still be thinking that he was intruding in my private space, and was uncomfortable with me. Dusk passed and the night was suddenly chillier, with no trace of the warmth of the sun. I got out of the creek first. I dried off and when Jase came out of the water, shivering, I was waiting with the towel, holding it spread out for him. He rushed up and I wrapped it around him and began drying him off, rubbing briskly over his back and shoulders and his butt.

"Damn, it got chilly," he said as he turned in the towel to face me.

I dried his arms and rubbed the towel over his chest. As I moved the towel lower on his stomach our eyes met and something connected. No, it sparked, like two electrical wires touching. It happened so quickly that I think it surprised us both to such a degree that neither of us knew how to respond for a moment. Jase's eyes never wavered, and I didn't look away either. We perhaps didn't understand it at first but we both knew there was a connection that had not been there before. My hands had stopped with the towel and I was holding it at his hips.

"Dad.....," he said in a raspy voice, and I wasn't sure he meant to say it.

"I don't know....," I began, but I didn't even know what I was going to say; the words just tumbled aimlessly out of my mouth, meaningless. But Jase knew the meaning of the moment.

"I do," he said. "I know. I think I've always known." His words gave approval of my thoughts, or permission....I didn't know what, except that my well-laid plans for Key West were suddenly out the window. The time I had so dreaded and anticipated was upon me. The time was now.

I moved the towel from his hips and held it with one hand, covering his crotch, firmly. I rubbed it in his pubes, to dry them, and I could feel his manhood through it. His mouth grew slack and he closed his eyes. I was nearly overwhelmed by his youthful handsomeness, and I suddenly wanted to kiss him. Instead I leaned in and kissed his chest, paying homage to his right tit with my tongue.

"Uunnnhhh," he moaned softly.

I felt him shiver. "Come on, let's get in the sleeping bag," I said.

"I wasn't shivering from the cold," he said, but he followed me to the sleeping bags which he had unzipped part way. "Which one?" he asked.

"Let's spread them out and use one to cover up with," I said.

We finished unzipping the sleeping bags and spread one out to sleep on and laid the other one over it for a cover. We crawled in and I pulled the top one over us. Jase was still shivering and when I reached out for him, he snuggled against me.

"How come I'm so cold and you're so warm?" he asked.

"Because it's my job to keep you warm" I said as I held him tight. It wasn't sexual at first; it was the thrill of simply holding his muscular young body against me and letting my body heat pass to his body. When he stopped shivering he laid on his back, with me lying on my side, propped up on one arm so I could watch him. A tingling in my loins told me it was going to get sexual. We both knew it and we both wanted it. I laid my hand on his stomach and traced my fingers in the deep ridges of his tight muscles. I felt him shiver again and I moved my hand up to his chest. I clasped my fingers over the taut, thick muscles, rubbing my palm against his nipples.

"You have an absolutely beautiful body," I said.

"Thanks, but you're embarrassing me," he said. "There are a lot of guys at school built as good as me."

"No need to be embarrassed; it's true. And don't tell me there are a lot of guys built like this," I said, reaching down to squeeze his cock.

"Well, no, I think I hold the record there," he said with a smile.

There was no describing the feelings that swept through me at the touch of his manhood. It was almost impossible to comprehend, that I was at last able to put my hands on him like this, to show my love for him in the most intimate way I knew how. For there was love, well beyond the mere physical.

"I don't think I've told you how glad I am that you came to live with me," I said.

"I didn't exactly come....you came and got me," he said.

"I wish I could've come sooner, but there was so much red tape," I said.

"I was afraid you wouldn't come at all," he said.

"Even after I told you I would?" I asked, with a frown.

"I was afraid to expect too much and the sisters said not to get my hopes up because American GIs often didn't keep their promises once they got back home. Nothing much good ever happened in my life...till you....." He let his voice trail off and I thought I heard him choke, then I felt his stomach tighten then start to quake. He was crying inside, and trying to keep it from coming out.

"Jase....Jase, what's the matter?"

He let it come then, laying his forearm across his face to hide his eyes, and his whole body quaked with his sobs.

"What's the matter, Jase?" I asked again, suddenly frightened that I was dredging up old, bad memories with my hand on him like that. I moved my hand to his chest.

"I'm just not used to anybody showing me any kind of love," he said. "I know Sister Marie and the nuns cared, but they couldn't let it turn into anything close to love for any of us because they knew we would be leaving. Everybody else hated me. Oh, they liked what I could do for them but all the while, they hated me for my American blood. I laid in bed at night and cried, wondering if you might not come."

"I am so sorry, Jase. I guess I never realized....didn't you have any friends?....other boys with American blood?" I asked.

"We said we were friends, but we never got really close, because we knew too, that we would be separated. The closest I ever got to having a friend was when I was eleven, with a boy who was fourteen. He looked after me. He was big and tough, and a little mean when he had to be. He made sure nobody mistreated me. I might not have survived if it hadn't been for him."

"Jase, if you don't want to talk about this......"

"I do," he cut in. "I've never talked about it to anyone before."

"All right. But tell me, why did you need the money? You had a place to live, food to eat."

"Food wasn't always so plentiful at the orphanage," he said. "I knew sometimes they had to stretch it, and even then sometimes the boys didn't get enough to eat, and I would get more on my plate because I was bigger, but I said I wasn't hungry and shared it with the other boys. Being the oldest I felt like I had to do something to help out. I often spent more than the money Sister Marie gave me when I went to the market....my money that I'd made. She was always surprised how much stuff I came back with. I told her I bargained, or that stuff was on sale. I lied to her. She would've killed me if she knew what I was doing to get the extra money."

"Well, sometimes a lie doesn't hurt," I said. "But she must never know that." I wanted to know more of the details of his life--I wanted to hurt with him--but I didn't know how to ask.

"Why did you move your hand? It felt good there," he said.

"I....didn't think..." I swallowed hard. "I thought I shouldn't be.... doing that, maybe I was causing your pain," I stammered. Suddenly, in my mind, I was no better than those men who had used the boy.

"It's all right. It felt good," he said. "And you're not like those men. They didn't care about me. They just cared about my body, and me being young. That part of me being part American, they liked."

"Jase, I'm not proud to say this, but I've had those same feelings for your body, and about you being young and good looking," I said.

"No, you're not like those men. If you were, you would've had me in your bed the first night I came here. I offered, remember?"

"I wanted to, so many times," I said. "You don't know how many nights I've lain awake......"

"But you didn't, see, and that's the difference," he cut in. "I never knew why you didn't....I offered, and I hinted that it was all right."

"Because I didn't want you to think that I'd brought you back for....for that....to use you," I said.

"I would never think that of you," he said. "You cared enough to come to Vietnam and get me. I never once thought that you might have done it just to use me like that."

"Yes, you did think it. You offered yourself."

"I....I felt like I should.....pay you back. I didn't really know you then," he said.

"What did you think when I put my hand on your stomach and your chest just now, and touched your cock?" I asked.

"I thought it felt good, and that you're finally getting around to doing it," he said. "But I never thought, he's just like those other men. I could feel the love in your touch, because you told me and showed me and you proved how you loved me before you ever touched me."

"Whatever happened to the older boy who looked out for you?" I asked. "And did he live at the orphanage?"

"Yes. He was the oldest boy there at the time. He was sort of the boss of the rest of us kids. He made us tow the line with Sister Marie. I don't know what happened to him. He'd just turned seventeen--we shared the same room that I was in when you were there--and he came in late one night and woke me up to tell me that he had to leave... to go away. He never told me where he was going or why he had to leave. He just told me I was in charge of the boys. Then he leaned down and kissed me on the forehead. I never saw him again. I cried myself back to sleep that night. I guess I didn't realize how close we were till he was gone and he kissed me. He was like a brother. I wished...." He quickly cut himself off.

"You wished what?" I asked.

"I wished he'd kissed me for real. I loved him that much. It would've been different with him."

I reached over and laid my hand on his knee and he gave me tight little smile. "I've wanted to do this for so long," I said as I moved my hand up his thigh.

"You knew about me, and I figured out about you....I've wondered why you waited so long," he said. "I thought you didn't want me."

"Oh, I've wanted you so bad, more than anything in the world, since your dad. I had to wait and be sure it was right."

"What made you sure now?" he asked, placing his hand over mine to press it into his crotch.

"I... I really don't know, Jase. Maybe I'm not sure. Maybe it's just that I want you so bad, and you're so accepting," I said.

"I've wanted you to want me, Brad," he said.

I wondered why he called me Brad instead of dad. But then I had just called him Jase instead of son, and I didn't know why I did that.

"I know, but I wasn't sure if it was that, or if you thought you owed me something and wanted to pay me back."

"I owe you everything," he said.

"No, you don't owe me anything, Jase. And I don't ever want you to think that." I began massaging the bulk of his young manhood. He moaned and pushed his bulge into my hand. "It's been so long.... I don't even know if I remember how to do this right," I said.

"What do you mean? What about Travis?" he asked. "And the escorts? And there must have been others."

"The escorts were just that, escorts. And the others were just as meaningless. Travis is special, for sure, but he's not...." I cut myself off before I said the words.

"Not my dad?" he finished for me.

I swallowed hard. "Not your dad, and not you," I said.

"Do you love me as much as you did my dad?" he asked.

"Yes, but in a different way," I said.

"But you're loving me the same way now, aren't you?"

"It's different inside; it's hard to explain," I said. "Jason and I had....well, it's a special bond between military men. With you and me... it's a special bond between......." Dad and son were on the tip of my tongue, but we had suddenly, for some reason, reverted to Brad and Jase.

"Between dad and son?" he asked. "Is that what you almost said? I like the sound of that... dad and son," he said. "I know we're not, but I like the sound of it, especially the way we are right now, at this moment."

"So do I. But a moment ago, you called me Brad. So I called you Jase."

"I didn't think that....with what we were talking about....you might not want me to think of you as my dad, or me as..... well, I mean, I have to wonder if we would be doing this if I was your real son."

"Jase," I said, shushing him. "You might be right, but for me, dad and son is unconditional. You don't need to choose the times you call me dad."

He smiled and it turned into a sly grin. "I like the feel of it, too," he said as he ground his crotch in my hand. "It's like I can feel the love in your hand."

"I like what I'm feeling too," I said, squeezing him hard. He had come to life and his cock was demanding.

"You know, I've never reciprocated," he said. "Not once in all the times with...with all those men."

"I know. And you don't have to with me," I told him. "I just want to make you feel good; feel loved. That's all I want or need from you."

"You're already making me feel good right now," he said.

"I can make you feel better," I said. "I can make you feel better than anyone has ever made you feel."

"How? I've done about everything there is to do in the way of sex."

"But it's never been with somebody who cares about you the way I do. It comes from inside." I wrapped my hand around his cock and held it up. "My Godd, how.... you're still just a teenager, barely eighteen," I said.

"But I'm my father's teenager," he said with a proud grin. "I've seen him in those pictures; I got it from him. Besides, I think that's when it's supposed to be growing, when the rest of me is growing," he said.

"I think your cock got a head start, it's getting way ahead of the rest of you," I said. "And, damn, you're probably not done growing."

"Am I as big as my dad, do you think?" he asked.

"Yes, almost, I think so. Just not as thick yet," I said. Without asking, or a true measurement, I judged him to be well over eight inches, which I supposed wasn't so unusual, considering his gene pool.

He smiled at that. "I guess he wasn't that much older than me when you guys met," he said.

"Something like that, we were both nineteen I think," I said, gazing at his cock.

"So I've got a year to catch up with him," he said with a smile.

I leaned over and took his cock in my mouth.

"OHhhh....Uuhhnnnnn," he moaned softly.

Suddenly I felt I'd moved too quickly, been too greedy. I eased back and for the first moments I paid homage to him and his magnificent manhood, not sucking, but lathering it with my tongue, worshipping his cock with tears in my eyes. I explored the head, the shape and curves of the wide flange. I felt the mature, thick veins along the shaft, pulsing with the virility of his life's blood. I didn't even try not to think of Jason; it would've been futile. The comparison was there; the very real feel of live, raw, throbbing manhood was there. I made him anxious and he laid his hand on my head. I began sucking him in earnest. He moaned softly and dug his heels in and thrust upward. I'll take it, Son, I wanted to tell him. I will service every throbbing inch of you.

"Godd, Brad!" he gasped.

I wasn't sure if he gasped Brad or Dad. I wanted to ask him but I would wait; perhaps he would utter it again.

I sucked his cock with a reverence, sliding my lips down the shaft as far as I could go without forcing the head into my throat. I wanted to take my time and let my throat relax naturally, it would be easier to control my gag reflex. His precum flowed copiously and I lathered the head of his cock before swallowing it. It was like nectar from the gods, so deliciously sweet and fresh.

"Ohh... Ohhhhh... Ohhhh,' he moaned softly as he met my mouth with gentle thrusts of his lean hips. I wished it were his first such experience. I wanted to cry that he had so much experience at such a tender age, but I was determined to make this one a first in its own way; the first with someone who loved him. I desperately wanted him to feel that love.

With my lips locked around his cock I moved around, straddling his right thigh to lie between his legs. He spread them for me as I kept sucking him. After a while I released his cock and moved to his balls, held snugly and high in their sack, almost as if it wasn't big enough for them. I licked them like a puppy then took one in my mouth.

"Uuhnn!" he gasped softly.

I popped it free and took the other one. He didn't gasp this time. He moaned again when I worked them both into my mouth. I mauled them gently and he writhed his crotch against my face.

"Godd, I like that," he whispered.

At last I let his balls go and went where I thought no other had ever gone. I hoped not, for I wanted to be the first to show him this most intimate pleasure. I nuzzled my nose under his balls and licked his perineum, the miracle inch between the very root of his manhood and the beginning of his ass crack.

"Ohh," he gasped, sounding surprised, and the sound of it made me sure I was the first to explore this delicate area. "Aww, fuck, that feels so good," he said as I continued to lick him. Then I dipped my tongue lower, to the crack of his ass. When I slid my arms under his upper thighs, cradling his legs, and lapped at his crack he lifted his legs almost instinctively, inviting me to do whatever I pleased. I pushed his legs toward him and he wrapped his arms under his knees to lift his butt up off the sleeping bag and spread his butt apart.

"Godd, Jase, you are so beautiful here," I breathed, nearly overwhelmed with excitement. His ass, spread apart like that, was absolutely beautiful to behold, each side still with its globular shape. The inner slopes were smooth, with only a soft flurry of dark hair guarding what I knew to be his virginity. I would not take it. Not this time, and perhaps not ever. But I would toy with it, and make him wonder if he might one day want to give it up.

I licked the inner slopes and heard him let out a little gasp of anticipation for he surely knew where I was headed. As I drew closer to the tiny portal I heard his sharp intake of breath. Finally, I buried my face tightly in the perfect spread of his butt and licked his asshole ferociously.

"Aaaahhhhh!" he cried out. The puckered muscle of his asshole clinched and relaxed alternately, unsure what it should do with this new attention. I pulled his butt apart more and shoved my tongue through the hole.

"Ohhhhh! Ohh, Godd! Ohh, Godd!" he cried.

His asshole suddenly knew what to do; it relaxed and opened up to receive my tongue which I bored deeper inside his warm, velvety hole. I probed in and out, and shoved it in deep and scrubbed the inner lining with my tongue.

"Ohh, Godd... Ohh, Geezuss... I can't believe you're doing this for me! I can't believe anything can feel so good! Fuck, I could almost cum!" he gasped, breathlessly.

I rose up long enough to say, "Go ahead; I'm sure you're good for more than once."

"Yess! Thank you! I want to! Godd, I wanta cum so bad with you doing that to me!"

I smiled that he was thanking me for allowing him to cum. I would grant him his wish. I drove my tongue back inside him and tongue-fucked his ass. His hole was palpitating with excitement, and after a moment it began to open and close, open and close, as he worked up to his climax. I had a brief moment of doubt and pondering about what I wanted to do at the crucial moment but I went with my instinct and decided to take the risk. As his climax approached I began rubbing my finger around his asshole, using my spit and drool for lubrication to push the very tip of my finger into the clenching indentation.

"Awwwh....Ohh, Godd, I'm cummin'!" he gasped.

"Wonderful!" I whispered loudly. Then, "Jase....let me do this," and I shoved my finger up inside his ass. At the same time I quickly got back on his cock.

"AAAWWGGGHHH!" he cried loudly when I found his prostate. "Ohh, Godd! Ohh, Geezuss.....Fuucckkk!....Awwhhh, Ohhh....Ohhhh .....Ohhhhhh!" he cried out with each spurt of cum that shot out of his cock as he thrashed around on my finger.

I accepted his load with deep gratitude; there was a lot of it, gratitude and cum. I managed to swallow most of it, but lost some when he was thrashing around so wildly and I had a hard time staying on his cock. It was a long, intense climax, the kind that I was sure he had never experienced before. The feel and taste of his boy-cum created emotions in me that I had not experienced in a very long time. It was thick and sweet, and in that brief moment I was sucking the essence of Jason, his Dad, out through the boy's cock. He tasted so wonderfully sweet. I held onto him for a long moment. As he came down I carefully withdrew my finger and concentrated on his cock. I held it in my mouth till he was able to breath normally then I rose up, draining him, and let it fall heavily across his hip.

"Wow! That was unbelievable! " he gasped weakly as I crawled up to lie beside him.

"I'm glad it was so good, Jase. I only wish it had been your first time," I said as I wrapped my arm around him, and threw a leg across his thighs.

"It was the first time it ever felt like that," he said, snuggling against me.

"Oh, Really. I'm flattered," I said.

We lay quietly for a while, his chest heaving, and I tried to sort it all out in my head and make the correlation between this boy and his father, with the taste of them still in my mouth. It was there and it wasn't. Jase was made from Jason's seed, but they were two different people. Alike, but the circumstances were so vastly different. My times with Jason had been more clandestine; stolen moments carved out of a terrible war. With Jase, it was all so peaceful and serene, in my own woods, beside my own creek. I thought of something then and broke the silence.

"Jase, I was in your room. I wasn't nosing, but your journal was open. I read what you wrote. I hope you don't mind."

"No. If I left it open....."

"I hate it that you miss him so much," I said.

"I shouldn't; I didn't even know him," he said. "But you've brought him to life for me, and that makes me miss him."

"I wish I could be him for you, but there was only one Jason Seaborne, so I'm afraid you'll have to settle for a poor substitute."

"I don't see you as a substitute," he said sternly. "I see you as the father I never knew. You don't have to play substitute to anybody, least of all the ghost of my dad. And you know he would agree with me."

"I would like to think so, but......"

He put his fingers to my mouth.

"No buts. He would. He loved you."

I stared at him with a faint, surprised smile.

"I know, that sounds strange, doesn't it, saying out loud that my dad loved another man. I can feel it through you that he did. Maybe he never said it, but I know he did. And I'm okay with that. I know he didn't love my mother. The times, the circumstances didn't make room for them to love each other. So I'm glad he had you to love, and you to love him."

"He never said it to me, but he wrote it in a letter."

"Do you still have the letter?" he asked. "I don't want to read it. But if you still have it, then he is still saying it every time you read that letter."

"How old did you say you are?" I asked, laughing. "There were two letters......" I threw off the top sleeping bag and got up. "Wait here," I said.

I went to the house and got the letters. The boy yearned for a connection with his past. I was that connection with his father, and the letters would make it stronger, perhaps even make him feel that the love he felt from me was truly the love of his dad. And this was the right time. I returned to the woods with the letters and a lantern. The night air was chilly and Jase felt that chill when I crawled back in the sleeping bags. We pulled the top one over our heads to lock in the warmth.

"Now it's my turn to get you warm," he said, wrapping himself around me.

"You can read the letters," I said, handing him the first one.

"Are you sure? I don't want to intrude on your privacy."

I took the envelope and removed the letter and handed it to him. He crouched down closer to the lantern and began to read aloud.

Hey, Buddy,

I drove up in the hills behind my parents' home where I'm sitting with my back to a tree, sipping piss-warm beer and writing to you. It's late evening, the sun's about to go down and yeah, I'm sitting in the woods writing a fuckin' letter when I should/could be in town banging some chick's brains out.

Jase laughed softly then continued reading.

I don't know if I'll mail this or hand carry it and give it to you when I get back in country....or if I'll maybe find my balls and say it all to your face. If you're reading this letter it's because I chickened out from telling you in person. I hope it still suits the purpose.

How I came to write this was pure logic, at least for me; as only you would understand my logic. I've asked myself, would I lay down my life for you. The answer is an unequivocal YES; without question or hesitation. I would take a bullet for you, or a grenade. Well, if I had that kind of courage, why was I being such a pussy about laying the truth on the line? So here I am, about to do just that. (Fuck, the hills and woods and the sun going down reminds me of Vietnam. It's beautiful. I want to be back there).

When I arrived back here in the States, the first thing I noticed was the peace freaks, of course. They were practically everywhere, and sad to say, at one rally, I saw my own brother was with them.

Jase blinked with surprise. "I didn't know he had a brother. That means I have an uncle?"


"Am I going to get to meet him? Does he know about me?"

I didn't know how to answer him. But I had to.

"Yes, he is aware that Jason had a son, but....I don't know about meeting him. He and Jason were never very close."

"So you don't think he would want to have anything to do with me....I mean, me being his brother's son? I would be his nephew."

"I don't know, Jase, you would have to decide whether you want to find that out for yourself," I said. I decided not to tell him about the protest at Jason's funeral. I didn't want to prejudice his decision.

"Well, if he was one of those druggie creeps who protested the war and spit on men like my dad, maybe I don't want to meet him."

"That's your decision to make," I said. "If you decide you want to meet him, I will try to make contact with him."

"Do you think my dad would take me to meet his brother if he were alive?"

"No, I don't think so," I said.

"I guess I'll have to think about it then," he said, then went on reading.

But that's not the reason for writing you this letter. I guess I'll start by telling you that I hooked up with some of my ex-girlfriends while I was here and it wasn't the same. We had a lot of fun and I liked the sex, naturally, but it just wasn't the same as before. Before what, I asked myself. When I thought about it, I could only come to one conclusion. I finally decided that you had become the standard when it comes to me getting off. It's a crude way to put it, maybe, but it's the truth of the matter, and the only way I know how to put it. Anyway, I've sort of been down in the dumps since I came back. I was looking for something but can't put my finger on it, and knowing all the time that I wouldn't find it here, whatever it was. My mind seems to be going in all directions; sort of like I was back to being a POW is the best I can describe it. I miss Vietnam. I miss the fuckin' war, dammit! I can't wait to get back to it. Most of all, I miss you! I lay in bed in my old room and I can't sleep because I'm thinking about you. Not that we slept together on a regular basis, but lying in my old bed, I want you here with me so damned bad. I need to be back there, in country, with you. If you still don't have a clue why I'm writing this, what I'm trying to say is that I love you man.

"Well, there, he said it," Jase said.

I know, I told you that before, but what I'm telling you now is different; I love you more than a friend, more than a brother. I hope you understand why I had to write instead of tell you; it's just so hard to tell you right to your face. Yeah, I'm a coward after all. And you kept telling me how courageous I am, when all along it was you who had the balls. When you said "I love you" to me for the first time, I didn't say it back. One; back then I still wasn't sure about anything, and two, I didn't have your balls. But I admired you for saying it. It took guts to say those words and you said it, buddy, right out, honest and bold as hell. Now it's my turn. I love you buddy, as a man, more than you'll ever know.

"There, he said it again," Jase said with a smile.

Honestly, I don't know what it all means; I don't know if I can be even a little bit gay for you, but it never mattered to you that I was straight. And even if I am, I don't think it'll matter to me either, because love knows no boundaries, right? So if I'm straight and you're gay, what difference will it make, because with no boundaries separating us we won't be able to tell where straight ends and gay begins. So I make you this promise-and if you're reading this, you've got it in writing to hold me to it-I will love you every way I know how, and I'll learn from you and love you every way a man can love another man.


Jase's eyes lingered on the letter for a moment then he folded it and looked up at me. "Wow, that was pretty powerful. He sure laid it all on the line."

I took the other letter out of the envelope and we exchanged letters. He began reading again.

Dear Brad:

I am assuming you read my first letter. I'm writing this at the airport where I will soon be boarding a plane, on my way back in country; heading back to you, buddy. Something hit me while I was sitting here waiting on the plane; like what if something happened and I don't make it back. I never had that feeling before; not even when I was out in the fuckin' wet, soppy jungle, or even when I was captured. But it hit me, and I needed to write you again. So, if you're reading this letter, then I guess I didn't make it.

Jase stopped reading and looked at me with a pained look on his face. I didn't say anything, and he went back to reading.

I will say upfront that my greatest regret is that you and I didn't make it together, not like we should have. I mean....like I wanted to, deep down, but didn't realize it in time, or didn't have the balls to admit it and follow through. If you're wondering what's going through my mind while I am writing this (and now, you reading it), it is this; I love you so damn much, and I wish it didn't have to end like this, I wish we didn't end like this, man. I would have loved to be with you forever but I guess forever doesn't work for us, huh.

I saw Jase's eyes tearing up. "This must've been tough for you to read," he said.

"It can't be easy for you," I said.

I know that right now you're devastated because that's how I would feel if I lost you, buddy. But I know you're stronger than that. We're stronger than that. I may be dead but that won't stop me from loving you, Brad, from another place, and it can't stop you from going on with your life, hard as that might be for a while. After all, if there is life after death, then there must be love after death. I hope you feel the same way.

Someone wrote that if you love someone you have to let them go. With that said, I have to also say that if you really love me then you have to let me go. I know you man, you're probably still looking at my pictures or wearing my jocks and underwear, and thinking that you would do that kinda flatters me, but it also scares the shit out of me because I don't want you to live with my ghost. (We had too much "in the flesh" for you to do that). I keep thinking/hoping that you'd never wanta forget about me and that's fine; I don't want to forget about you or what we had, either. It was special, putting it mildly. But just because I'm gone doesn't mean you have to be dead too. Look, just promise me that you'll start living again, and be happy for the both of us. I don't know how you fill in the blanks....maybe just remember me at certain times....but I know you're stronger than just letting yourself die inside. Hell, man, you're a Marine. Look, I'm starting to tear up and people are watching me. Just know that wherever I am, I'm loving you....till we can be together again. Gotta go.

Your buddy forever, Jason

Jase slowly folded the letter. "I can see he had a hard time saying it, but man, he really did love you," he said, handing it back to me.

"No more than I loved him," I said.

"I'm glad you had each other for the time you did," he said. "And being with you makes me feel closer to him. Especially being with you like this. It's almost like I'm with him."

"I'm glad you can feel that. I was hoping you might."

He smiled then giggled and said, "I wouldn't mind feeling it again."

I gave him the feeling again, and again, for the whole night long, till near sunup. Jase was insatiable and he made me so. I drew from him what I'd had with his father and for that time-those hours-I had hem both wrapped into one. I had Jase the teenage son and I had Jason in his teen years. It was raucous sex, it was love making, it was worship of his youth and his virility.

After that first encounter in the woods, a whole new world opened up between Jase and me. Jase made sure that I understood that he was "available" any time, and I took advantage of that. I took things slow. For the first several times we were together, I restricted our activities to me sucking his cock and rimming him and using my fingers on him. He couldn't get enough of either. He never reciprocated--he was that much like his father--and I never expected him to. I was thankfully happy with what we had, with what he could offer. I had no intention of trying to take it to the next level; I never even hinted that I wanted to. His young manhood, I thought--that part of his virginity--needed to remain intact as I sensed that he was slowly trying to bury his past. I did, however, entertain thoughts of him fucking me. But I moved slowly even with that, partly because I was still trying to separate Jase from Jason in my head, and when it did happen--and I was hopefully certain it would--I wanted to be able to make the distinction. It was an exercise in futility, and essentially a waste of time, waiting to sort things out.

Chapter Forty-Nine

Hunter and His Girlfriend

We were sitting in the living room watching TV, Jase sprawled out on the couch and me in my chair. Jase answered the phone and handed it to me.

"It's for you," he said.

"Who is it?"

"Don't know."

It was Hunter. I hadn't heard from him since his encounter with Jase, not even a reply to my phone message inviting him to spend the weekend. I felt he was still embarrassed over that encounter, and I wanted to try to smooth things over. I was pleased that he called, and surprised at the reason for his call. I listened with great interest, and Jase could see that on my face, I could tell by the curious frown as he watched me.

"It was Hunter," I said, hanging up the phone. "He's coming for the weekend."

"Your facial expressions said a lot more than 'he's coming for the weekend'," he said.

"He wants to bring his new girlfriend."

Jase blinked with surprise.

"Yeah, that surprised me too. I thought he was getting serious enough with Angie that they were heading for marriage. This isn't Angie and she sounds like a real swinger. Literally."

"What's that mean, a real swinger?" he asked."

"Very open to anything in the bedroom," I said. "Seems she's kind of interested in being with more than one guy. And Hunter thought of you."

"Wow! No kidding!" he exclaimed. "Sounds like fun," he said, laughing.

"I guess I should've asked you first."

"No, you didn't need to ask me," he said excitedly.

"That's not all. Hunter told her that he was sort of into guys, and she wants to see that too; him with another guy."

"Double Wow! A three way! With a girl. Or a woman, how old is she?"

"Your age, maybe a little older. Younger than Hunter," I said. "Which explains, I guess, why Hunter has moved on; he always did like them young. I doubt if he ever gets married."

"No reason to, is there, if he can have the best of both worlds," Jase said.

Hunter arrived with Kathy mid-afternoon on Saturday. The girl was a knockout. Given his penchant for younger women, I could see why he went for this one. She had on a blouse that was held together in front with one button, with deep cleavage between tits that could qualify as life preservers, and a short denim skirt that revealed shapely, tanned legs that in themselves promised the delights that lay between. I saw how Jase noticed her as she came up on the porch in her high heels, and the smile on Hunter's face when he noticed Jase's obvious interest. I tried to picture how this was all going to play out. Hot came to mind.

Hunter made the introductions and Jase motioned politely for Kathy to sit in the porch swing.

"How's my brother?" I asked as Jase was handing Hunter a beer. He asked Kathy if she would like something else but she took a beer too.

"Dad's fine," Hunter said.

"And your Mom, and Melissa?"

"Mom's fine. Melissa is about to become engaged. She hasn't told Mom or Dad, though, so you can't say anything."

"Still that same guy?" I asked.

"Yeah. I don't think everybody in the family is too impressed with him but he's her choice."

"Don't tell her but I wasn't impressed with this one," I said. "He's too soft. A guy his age should be a lot more solid and agile. He moves like a sloth. I really liked Roger."

Hunter laughed. "Yeah so did I. So did everybody. But maybe he wasn't ready for marriage, the way he up and went into the service."

"Have you seen your grandparents lately?" I asked.

"Yes, Grandma still complains that you don't come to visit."

"I come to visit," I said wearily. "I just don't want to live there."

"And she complains that it doesn't look like you're going to give her any grandchildren."

I glanced at Jase but the remark apparently didn't faze him, or it didn't register; he was paying pretty close attention to Kathy.

"I don't know if she will ever get the picture. Or maybe she has, and just doesn't want to face up to it," I said.

"Grandpa tells her to stop complaining, grandchildren are overrated."

There was some more small talk, mostly between me and Hunter, while Jase ogled Kathy. I could tell he was getting anxious to learn what Hunter had in mind. I caught some glances at the girl myself; it was hard not to, the way she sat with one leg crossed over the other, her skirt drawn up so high that you didn't need to guess what lay beyond.

"Have you been here before?" Jase asked her, starting his own private conversation.

"No," she replied.

"I could show you around," he offered. "It's beautiful back in the woods."

Kathy looked at Hunter as she stood up. "Jase is going to show me around," she said.

"Yes, that's good," Hunter said.

As Jase and Kathy walked across the yard towards the barn and the woods, Hunter turned to me.

"So, how are things going with Jase?"

"He's adjusting quite well."

"You know what I mean, Uncle Brad, how are things really going?" he asked again.

"He's adjusting," I said again. "He's started calling me dad sometimes."

"Oh! Well, maybe Grandma will be happy to hear that."

"I doubt it," I said. "Although the last time we went to visit, she and Jase seemed to really hit it off. He helped her in the kitchen again."

"Did you see the way Jase was looking at Kathy?" he asked with a tight grin.


"Did you tell him what I had I mind?"

"I told him what I thought you had in mind," I said.


"He was very excited. It wouldn't surprise me a bit if he gets a head start with her back in the woods," I said.

"Are you up to joining in?"

"I don't know exactly where I would fit in." I happened to glance towards the woods and saw Jase put his arm around Kathy's waist, then they stopped and he wrapped both arms around her and she moved up against him and started kissing him. "Actually, Hunter, I'm not sure where you're going to fit in," I said, laughing.

He looked over his shoulder to where I was looking. "Geezuss! He moves fast! Fuck, he hasn't known her ten minutes."

"I think it was a mutual collision," I said. "How long have you known this girl? How well do you know her? I mean, she's not one you're going to take home to meet your parents, is she?"

"She's already met my parents," he said. "She thinks my dad is hot."

"Then I gather this isn't going to lead to a serious relationship," I said.

"She's a great fuck. She gives good head. That's as serious as it needs to be," he said, laughing.

"Good. But your grandmother is going to be pissed at you too, for not giving her great-grandchildren," I said.

"Who says I'm not going to give her great-grandchildren?"

"Come on, Hunter, we're talking about kids here, not puppies," I said. "Don't be irresponsible." I glanced toward the woods again. Jase and Kathy were nowhere to be seen. "Do you think you need to go back there and protect your interests?" I asked Hunter.

"Kathy knows why we're here," he said with a shrug. He laughed. "Hell, he's probably got her backed up against a tree, banging her eyeballs out."

"And you're okay with that?"

"Sure. It's not a competition," he said. "She's not going to throw me over just because she's found a new stud. She's not a one man girl, Uncle Brad, just like I'm not a one sex guy. We're both okay with everything."

I shook my head, smiling. Then I got up and clanged the triangular "dinner bell." It rang out like an old fashioned fire alarm.

"What the hell are you doing?" Hunter asked, holding his ears.

"It's our signal. Jase knows he needs to come back to the house."

"If I were Jase I would be pissed, you ringing that fuckin' thing right now."

A moment later, Jase and Kathy emerged from the woods behind the barn, he adjusting his fly and Kathy making an adjustment at the side of her skirt. I was sure they were doing it in full view on purpose, for us to see. They came up on the porch, both smiling, Jase with a rather sheepish smile. He sat on the step in front of us, I think to hide the bulge in his jeans. I wondered how far they'd gotten before I interrupted them.

"Come on, I'll show you through the house," Hunter said to Kathy as he stood up and gave her his hand. "You don't mind, do you, Uncle Brad?"

"Not at all. Make yourselves at home," I said.

We all went into the house. She acted charmed by the place, but I thought it was put on; I thought she was only interested in seeing the bedrooms. Going up the stairs, Hunter led the way, with Kathy behind him and Jase and I close behind her. She didn't appear to have anything on under her skirt; if she did it was a thong. I thought Jase was going to step on his tongue.

Hunter showed Kathy through the upstairs as if it were his own house. She was duly impressed with Jase's workout room. "Gotta keep those muscles built up," she chided him as she squeezed his bicep. She seemed even more impressed with Jase's room, with all the military stuff.

"So this is where you sleep....or whatever," she joked.

"Yeah, there's a lot of 'whatever' goes on in here, I'll bet," Hunter added.

We all had a good laugh at Jase's expense, but he didn't seem to mind.

"I see nobody's showed you how to make a bed properly," Kathy said as she bent over to straighten the foot where the bedspread was folded and tucked rather sloppily. When she bent over, her skirt rode up, exposing almost her entire butt; yes, she was wearing a thong, there was a narrow strip of purple material running up the crack of her ass.

"Kathy, baby, you're showing your butt," Hunter said as he made a big show of tugging on her short skirt, to no avail.

"Since when did that bother you?" she said.

"But you're showing it to the world," he said.

She straightened then, and turned and said, "Sorry if I embarrassed you." Her remark was directed right at Jase. "But that's how you do it.....make a bed."

"I'm glad you came to show me how to do it.....make a bed," he said. "And you didn't....embarrass me," he said.

"Then why is your face all flushed a warm pink?" she chided him, patting his cheek.

"I d-don't know...." He turned to me. "Is my face flushed?"

"You're red as a beet under that natural tan," I said.

"Stop teasing him, Kathy," Hunter said, laughing.

"I'm not teasing, he's just taking me too seriously," she said. "You said he would be all over me," she added, with a pouting look.

Jase's eyes flew open, as did his mouth. "You said that?!" he said to Hunter.

"Yeah, and you were, back in the woods, weren't you?" We saw you adjusting your clothes," Hunter said.

"Aw, that was just a little joke; we did that for show," Jase said.

"I cannot believe I'm in a bedroom with three hunky guys and not one has even made a pass at me yet," Kathy said.

"Is that what you want, baby?....a pass?" Hunter asked as he clasped his hand under her skirt.

"MMmm, that's a start," she cooed.

Damn, she was truly an unabashed slut. Jase took the hint and with a broad smile, clasped his hand under her skirt on the other side of her butt. She took his head in her hands and turned it to kiss him.

"MMnnn, that's more like it," she cooed.

I decided Kathy was a little tramp. I wasn't overjoyed that she was being such a slut in my house-I liked a little more subtly-but she was just what a couple of horny teenage boys needed.

Jase didn't waste any time; he needed no more encouragement. Even I was shocked at how fast he moved. Hunter stood with his mouth gaping open as the young teenager quickly had the girl down on his bed and was removing her skirt. He deftly undid the single button that held her blouse together and exposed her tits. She let out a squealing moan when he started sucking on them. I saw his other hand move between her legs and she cried out again.

"Fuck, he's an animal," Hunter remarked.

Yes, Hunter would know that first hand, I thought, that Jase did know what he was doing. Hunter nor his girlfriend had any idea how much experience he had under his belt. We stood and watched as the boy, completely oblivious of us, stripped Kathy naked then tore off his own clothes. It was as if we weren't even in the room. I stepped over to the nightstand and got a condom out of the drawer, ripped it open and handed it to him.

"You forgot something," I said.

"Oh....yeah." Yeah, he was going to go in bareback if I hadn't been there.

Kathy was spread out on the twin bed, her pussy practically gaping open, her eyes glazed over with want and anticipation. She looked like she was on something. When Jase rose up to put the condom on it must have been the first time she had seen his cock, or so I thought.

"Oh, My Godd!" she exclaimed.

"I told you," said Hunter, laughing.

"Why're you acting so shocked? You saw it back in the woods," Jase said.

I thought they were still putting on their little charade; I was sure it was the first she'd seen his cock.

"But this is in the light. You'll have to take it easy with that," she told Jase.

I almost laughed. I didn't know if he heard her. I knew he wouldn't rape her, but from the look on her face, she wasn't used to seeing a guy his size, and she realized that she was in for the ride of her life. I wondered how Hunter would stack up against the younger boywhen it was over.

He didn't rape her, but he wasn't exactly gentle and loving either. He spread her legs out and aimed his cock and entered her unceremoniously, with one determined thrust that buried his cock to the hilt. Kathy's mouth flew open and her eyes popped out but she seemed unable to utter a sound. Jase started fucking her and that loosened up her vocal chords. She never stopped moaning and squealing and practically screaming the whole time he fucked her. There was certainly no indication that she was aware her boyfriend was in the room.

"You, uh....mentioned something about mixing it up, you might wanta jump in there," I reminded Hunter quietly. I saw that his eyes were glued to Jase's butt.

"Uhh....no, not there," I said.

"Yeah, I know," he said, looking embarrassed. As soon as he's got her good and warmed up."

"Dude, I think he's already got the kettle boiling," I said.

Hunter's eyes never left Jase's butt as he took off his own clothes. For some foolish reason I started taking mine off too. I didn't know why, I didn't have any intention of joining in but it just seemed like the appropriate thing to do; I wanted to be naked with these young people. I knew what Hunter was thinking and he confirmed it by wrapping his hand around Jase's left butt cheek, and I noticed his finger dipping into the crack.

"I wouldn't go there if I were you," I said under my breath.

He withdrew his finger but not his hand. "Damn, he's got a fine ass," he said.

"And you can see the fine job it's doing as a powerhouse," I said, referring to the way Jase's solid butt muscles worked and flexed, propelling his cock in and out of Hunter's girlfriend's pussy.

Hunter gave him a few more minutes then tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, you're fucking my girlfriend, you know," he said.

"Do you hear her complaining?" Jase said smartly. "You must not being do the job or she wouldn't be letting me." But then he slowly withdrew his cock and stepped back off the bed, his oversized cock swaying majestically, glistening with the girl's pussy juices. I couldn't help thinking of Jason.

"Damn, she's not even going to feel me after that," Hunter complained, eyeing Jase's cock as he knelt on the bed between Kathy's legs. He entered her as unceremoniously as Jase had and began fucking her, without a condom. Jase stood stroking his cock, then pulled the condom off.

"I hate these things," he said, tossing it in the wastebasket.

"You should've left it on," I said, nodding to Hunter's butt, flexing and working the same magic that Jase's had.

"Oh....oh, fuck, yeah," he said, and quickly got another one out of the bedside stand. "Do you think he'd let me, with his girlfriend here?" he whispered.

I shrugged then took the condom and ripped it open and started to roll it on for him but he stopped me.

"Hold on a minute," he said quietly. He stood up on the bed facing Hunter and waved his cock in his face.

"Ohh, Yesss! Take him, Hunter! Suck his cock!" Kathy squealed.

Jase didn't give him a chance to hesitate. He clasped his hand around the back of Hunter's head and pulled his face to his cock. Hunter groaned deep in his belly as Jase's cock plunged into his throat.

""Ohh, that it so hot!" Kathy said. "And you love it; I felt your cock get harder when he shoved his cock in your mouth."

Jase began fucking Hunter's mouth and it drove Kathy a little crazy just watching.

"Fuck him, now," she told him.

Jase gave his mouth a few more strokes before he withdrew his cock.

"You heard the lady; she wants me to fuck you." Jase didn't wait for Hunter's reaction. He stepped down off the bed. I didn't bother to offer him another condom but I had the lube ready for his cock. I drizzled some on it then I lubed up Hunter's ass.

"I think you know the way," I quipped, pointing to Hunter's ass.

"Yeah, I've been down that road," he said. He stood against the edge of the bed and aimed his cock at Hunter's ass. Hunter paused for the time it took for Jase to enter him.

"Ohh....Ohh, Geezuss!" he groaned, tossing his head back, as he was impaled on the teenager's huge cock.

"Is he fucking you?" Kathy squealed with glee.

"Yeah, baby....he....he's fuckin' me....just like you wanted. Ohh, Man, is he ever fuckin' me. He's like a young stallion."

I watched the three of them go at it. Jase was still very much in charge. Despite Hunter's attempts to fuck his girlfriend and fuck himself at the same time on Jase's big cock, it was Jase who did the fucking. Hunter was right; the boy was an animal. Well into it, Kathy suggested that Hunter and Jase trade places again, and Hunter fuck Jase.

"I don't think that's gonna happen, Babe," Hunter said.

"Then let him take turns with me," she said.

I thought she just wanted Jase's big cock, over her boyfriend's. Jase pulled out of Hunter's ass and stepped back. Hunter pulled out and relinquished his place to the younger boy once again. Kathy groaned with approval as the boy's bigger cock filled her up again. Hunter rolled his eyes and stood back and watched as he stroked his own cock. He reached out for mine.

"Fuck," he uttered softly as he stroked it. He kept glancing at the bed then back at my cock. Suddenly he squatted down and took it in his mouth. I let out a soft groan and wrapped my hand around his head and began fucking his mouth. He met my thrusts, all the way down his throat. Squatted down the way he was, he was out of Kathy's line of vision and Jase was paying no attention to us. After a long while, Kathy had other ideas. She wanted to watch Hunter being fucked. He quickly got to his feet. When Jase had withdrawn she moved to make room for Hunter on the bed.

Hunter took his place beside her, lying on his back with his legs lifted up.

"No, on your hands and knees, like a dog," Kathy said.

Rather wearily, Hunter changed positions, onto his hands and knees, with his butt arched back for the taking. Jase took him. He groaned and squealed with both pain and pleasure, for Jase wasn't easy with him. Kathy was practically drooling as she watched and fingered her clit. I had resigned myself to being a spectator. I didn't much like Kathy; it seemed like she only wanted to humiliate Hunter, without giving a thought to how much she was humiliating herself. I wasn't too pleased with Hunter for allowing it, but maybe he was into that sort of thing. I wasn't too proud of myself either, when I allowed the girl to grab hold of my cock and she rose up and went down on me. After a few minutes of slobbering on my cock she told me to make Hunter suck my cock. But I backed away. She hadn't seen him doing it and I wasn't going to humiliate him any further. So she knelt beside him on the bed and he drew his hand between her legs and began fingering her pussy. She put one arm out to me and offered her tits for me to suck but I declined again. Strangely, the three-way was a turn-on but the girl's sluttiness turned me off. At some point I left them alone and went downstairs.

Overall, the weekend didn't go as well as I had thought it would. But then we hadn't counted on Kathy, who turned out to be an insatiable bitch. I didn't think Hunter had counted on Kathy taking over and monopolizing Jase either. Or maybe it was the other way around, Jase monopolizing Kathy. She certainly loved his big cock and she certainly loved having her hands all over his body. Being the bitch she was, the sleeping arrangements didn't meet her expectations. She wanted to share a bed with Jase and Hunter in my bed, since Jase's twin bed wouldn't hold them. Jase could see my disapproval and he stepped in.

"You and Hunter take my bed, I'll sleep with Dad," he told them.

Kathy did a double take, a look of total surprise.

"He....he's your father?" she gasped.

"He's my dad," Jase said.

She looked at Hunter. "You never told me we were going to be in a dad son thing," she said. "Ohh, this is too hot!"

"I didn't know they had adopted each other," Hunter said, looking at me.

"I'm not his biological father, but I'm his dad," I said flatly, and it was all the explanation she needed.

Jase slept with me, Hunter and Kathy shared his bed.

"Damn, she is one horny bitch," Jase said quietly when we were in bed.

"Mostly bitch. But she was horny for you all right," I said. "Somehow, I don't think Hunter will be bringing any more of his girlfriends here to meet you."

"It was awesome, having you in on it," he said.

"It would've been more awesome without the girl," I said.

Jase and I didn't have sex. We snuggled and spooned and lay in each other's arms, and that was enough.

When I got up the next morning, Kathy and Hunter were gone. He left me a note on the kitchen table, saying he would explain later. I wasn't disappointed; and I didn't need an explanation.

Chapter Fifty

Jase and the Jocks

It was a Saturday and Jase had a date; he was taking a girl to the lake for the afternoon, then he had invited some of his friends over for a cookout in the evening. When I called him for breakfast that morning he came down with a small package wrapped in brown paper.

"Do you have the address of the orphanage?" he asked.


"I've got something I want to send to Arnie. I promised to send him something from America but I never did."

"Arnie.... is that the boy who wouldn't tell you goodbye?" I asked.

"Yes. I bought him a Cardinals baseball cap and an autographed baseball. I know the signature is just printed on the ball, but he won't care."

"I'll get the address for you." I went to my desk and got my address book. I opened it to Sister Marie's address. "Before you send that, I've got something I want you to take with you to mail for me."

Jase's story about using his own money he earned on the streets to supplement the food budget touched me and I was sending an extra check. I quickly wrote the check, then wrote a short note to Sister Marie. I asked her about the older boy Jase spoke of who had taken him to the streets and acted as his protector; I wanted to know if she had ever had any contact with him after he left the orphanage. It was a slim chance, but it would be nice if Jase could be in contact with the boy again. I also had a letter that I'd written to Toby. I'd left it open.

"Listen, I was wondering if you would like for me to ask my old friend if he would send some pajama pants."

He gave me a bewildered scowl. "You said I should shit can the ones I've got."

"No, I mean a lot of pajama pants, for you to sell. You said the guys all wanted to know where they could get a pair."

"Hey, that's a great idea! Yes, ask him!"

I ordered ten pairs.

Jase had arrived back earlier with his date, Denise. Denise was everything I would expect in a girl Jase would choose. She fit the mold of a couple of other girls he'd dated. Beautiful, nicely built, but not flaunting in her manner, with an air of confidence. Nothing like Hunter's girlfriend, Kathy. And, as I had not noticed of the others, with just a hint of the Asian in her looks.

Dan and Andy arrived a bit later with their dates, all four in one car. I had met Dan and Andy as Jase's teammates, but had never really talked to them. Dan was a tall, lanky kid, with dark hair and dark eyes, good looking, and he looked like he was nicely put together, with a good upper body set on lean hips that sort of swiveled sexily when he walked. Not in a feminine way, but just sexy. He brought a girl named Tanya. She was a knockout, with big tits and well rounded hips that all I could think of was how well Dan's lean hips would fit between them. And that little sexy swivel when he walked, if he used that when he fucked, he must drive the girl nuts.

Andy was shorter, cute going on handsome, with a quick smile and an easy laugh. Both boys were funny. He had dark hair, and eyes that fairly danced when he talked or laughed. They were penetrating eyes, full of questions waiting to be asked and answered. I got the impression that he could draw answers out of you. By the way he moved, I could tell he was quick on his feet, and easily as athletic as Dan. He also filled out his jeans nicely, especially in back; his butt muscles flexing with every move of his hips. He brought a girl named Susan. She struck me as a mix of a homegrown girl turned worldly, or trying to be. I wondered how worldly Andy had been with her.

I checked with Jase about how old they all were when he asked about having beer.

"I don't mind them having a few beers as long as they're eighteen. It's not the legal drinking age but I have to draw the line somewhere," I told him.

"They are," he said. "They welcomed me into their legal club when I turned eighteen."

Dan had taken over the grill and the girls were setting out plates, glasses, silverware, condiments and buns that I had set out on the kitchen table, bringing everything out to the small table on the porch. Andy had taken charge of the beer, and was passing out the second round.

"It's great of you to have beer," Dan said to me.

"I hope you think it's great of me when I cut you off," I said.

He laughed. "Jase said you would say that. But it's cool. When you say the bar is closed, we'll all switch to pop."

Jase pulled me aside in the kitchen. "I told the guys about the woods and they want to know if it's okay of they take the girls back there."

I gave him a scowling smile. They don't need permission to go for a walk in the woods."

"Well, not just for a walk. I told them we have sleeping bags."

"What'd you tell them?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I told them I didn't know, it'd be up to you."

"Well, I don't want my house to become known as a sex palace," I said.

"Okay, I'll tell them no," he said with a shrug.

"I'm not saying no, but I'm not extending that invitation to them," I said. "We'll play it by ear and see how things work out."

It was a good time, with lively conversation and lots of joking and laughter, with nothing overtly sexual looming on the horizon. It was refreshing that they were just kids having a good time, despite their horny ideas that lay below the surface. I wondered when and where the sex was going to enter into it that Jase had asked me about. I thought it might be coming when Dan and Tanya started getting a little tight on the porch swing. Andy followed suit with Susan on the big wicker couch. Then I saw Jase, standing with Denise at the porch railing, slide his hand down over her butt. That's when I decided I should excuse myself.

"Well, guys, I think I'll get stuff put away and retire to the television and leave you all to yourselves," I said.

"No, no, we'll put everything away," Denise said quickly.

"Well, all right. I'll just retire to the television then."

I left them on the porch. A couple of times I heard the ice in the cooler where somebody was getting more beer, or pop, then all was very quiet. I got up and looked out and saw them all walking back towards the woods. I guessed the hormones were kicking in. I made the conscious decision to leave them to their own devices. I didn't think it was my place to police them, and better outside than in my bedrooms.

Much to my surprise, about an hour later, they all came back up on the porch and I heard the ice in the cooler again. There was some muffled conversation and laughter. Then quite some time later, much to my surprise, they all appeared in the living room.

"Mr. Courter, we, uh....Dan and I have had a little too much to drink, and the girls need to get home," Andy said. "We were wondering if......"

"No problem," I said, getting up. I looked at Jase. "How about you? Are you okay to drive?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I switched to pop a long time ago," he said.

"And we should've. We're sorry," Andy said.

"All right, Jase can take Denise home. I'll drive the two of you to take your dates home," I said to Dan, who had driven, "then bring you back here where you can sleep it off."

"Sounds like a plan," one of the guys said.

"Thanks, Mr. Courter. We hate to put you to this trouble but......"

"It's no trouble, it's common sense. You are to be commended for that," I said. "But call your parents."

Dan frowned.

"What?" I asked.

"I can't tell my parents I've been drinking," he said.

"If you can't, I will," I said.

"Yes, sir, but if my dad gets pissed, he's gonna be pissed at you too, for letting us have beer."

"Call him, I'll talk to him," I said.

He didn't like it but he made the call and handed me the phone without saying anything. After introducing myself, my message was short and sweet but respectful.

"Sir, this is Brad Courter. Your son, Dan, is here at my house with his date and some friends. He's not drunk but he has had a bit too much to drink and he doesn't think he should drive. So I'm driving him to take his date home then I'll bring him back here for the night, if that's all right with you."

He thanked me for calling then asked to speak to his son. Dan cringed when I handed him the phone. We couldn't hear what the man was saying but I didn't see any signs that Dan was being reamed out. He told his dad goodnight and handed the phone back to me. I handed it to Andy.

"What'd he say?" I asked.

"He said he was glad I had the good sense to recognize that I shouldn't be driving. It's weird, I expected an ass reaming."

"Don't underestimate your parents," I said.

"Yeah, you might get your ass reamed when you get home," Andy said.

Andy talked to his father himself then handed me the phone.

"I just wanted to confirm that everything's under control," the man said.

"It is, sir. I'll drive Andy to take his date home then bring him back here for the night."

All was well. I didn't know what the two boys would face with their parents when they went home but that was their problem.

Dan, Andy and the girls all climbed into the back seat. I felt like a chauffer, alone in the front seat. There was some heavy making out but there wasn't enough distance and time for them to get very far, and I wondered what all might have gone on earlier back in the woods. I dropped Susan off first. Andy walked her to the door where he kissed her goodnight. It was a long kiss, non-stop and very passionate, with some last minute groping.

Dan rolled down the window and said, "Hey, dude, you had your chance in the woods. Now ain't the time or the place."

Without breaking the kiss, Andy gave him the finger.

"Hell, we might as well get back to what we were doing, they're going to be a while," Dan quipped, and I saw them go down in the back seat and heard Tanya moan.

Andy finally broke away from his girl and came bounding down off the porch as she went inside. He climbed in the front seat, leaving the back seat to his buddy and Tanya for the twenty-minute drive to another section of town.

"I hope they're not embarrassing you, Mr. Courter," Andy said, nodding to the back seat.

"Not at all, I've been where they're at, literally," I said.

"You're cool, Mr. Courter," Dan said from the back seat.

At Tanya's house, Dan took her up to the door and pretty much followed the same routine as Andy except he rested his butt on the porch railing and pulled the girl between his legs. Their good night kiss quickly turned into a long make out kiss.

"Damn, I hope he's got a condom," Andy said jokingly as we watched and waited. "Hey, I'm really sorry about this, Mr. Courter, but the beer just got away with us."

"It's not a problem," I assured him. "Better we're sitting here waiting on your buddy to make out than to scrape one of you up off the road."

Suddenly Andy reached over and hit the horn for a short but loud blast. I brushed his hand away. Dan jumped up from the porch railing, pushing Tanya off of him. They quickly embraced and kissed and he held the door open for her to go inside. Then he ran down the sidewalk.

"I didn't do that," I said as he climbed in the back seat.

"I know you didn't," he said as he reached over the seat and began pounding on Andy. "What the fuck are you doing, stupid, you probably woke her parents up."

"Better that than her old man coming out and catching you two like that. Tell me, did you have a condom on?"

"We didn't get close to needing a condom, thanks to you," Dan growled.

There was more tussling and exchange of words, but it was good natured, and they ended up laughing together. Back home, Jase was waiting on the steps.

"We would've been back sooner, but these two guys were still making out on the front porch," I said dryly as we walked up on the porch.

"You guys were making out? On whose porch?" Jase asked, laughing.

The both started pounding on Jase till he escaped into the yard, laughing his ass off.

"Hey, Mr. Courter, I hate to ask you after all the trouble we put you through....can we have another beer now, since we're staying the night, to help us sleep?"

"I guess it won't hurt anything," I said. I was a bit curious that Jase had asked me if it would be okay if the guys had sex with their girlfriends, yet I didn't think anything had happened, except some heavy making out.

The sun was down and the only light on the porch was that coming from the kitchen window. We sat and drank beer and talked about everything from politics to sports, to girls and school, even world affairs. I was impressed with their broad interests and knowledge. Andy was sitting in the porch swing, using one foot on the floor to keep the swing in motion. Dan was laid back at the other end of the swing with one leg cocked up and resting against the back of the swing, his other leg extended out with his foot across Andy's thigh. I sat on the porch railing, with my right leg extended out across the railing, leaning back against the post. Jase was slouched in the big wicker rocker, using his toe to keep the rocker going. I was enjoying their camaraderie, as well as the view.

When the conversation came back to sex, as it had several times, Jase laughed and said jokingly, "I can't believe you guys were making out together on somebody's porch."

Dan reached around and swatted at him, cursing under his breath. "You motherfuck, we were NOT making out, we were just kissing the girls good night."

I chimed in with, "What I wanta know, did anybody make out with the girls?"

"Naw, Dan and Andy are saving themselves for each other," Jase said.

Dan jumped up and went for him. He almost knocked the rocker over as they wrestled each other. "Listen, fuckhead, you can knock it off now, about us making out," he said. "Besides if I was gonna make out with a guy, it would be with you, not Andy."

That made Jase do a double-take and Dan started laughing now that he'd got him back, and he started tickling him.

"Get your hands off of me!" Jase yelled. "Help! Rape! Molestation!"

When we all had our laugh and Dan took his seat back on the swing, things got suddenly quiet. I went over to the cooler and got the last three beers. I gave them to the boys.

"You're not having one?" Andy asked.

"Those are the last three," I said.

"Here, you take it," he said, offering me his beer.

"Take mine, Mr. Courter. We're not drinking your last beer," Dan said.

"Go ahead and drink up guys, I've had enough," I said.

The quiet lasted for several minutes as they sipped the last of the beer. I couldn't tell, but I thought they were becoming very warmly relaxed, maybe even buzzed. Then Andy dropped the bombshell.

"Has anybody here actually ever had sex with a guy?"

"Only you and Dan," Jase said.

Dan started for Jase again but Andy pulled him back. "I'm serious," he said. "Has anybody ever had gay sex? I mean like a blowjob?"

"Not me," Dan said.

"Me either," said Andy.

The silence was now deafening as everyone waited for someone else to answer. They were both looking at Jase.

"Hey, I'm not saying," he said.

"You have!" Dan exclaimed. "You've had gay sex! Damn! Who with? What happened? What all did you do?"

The two boys railing on Jase took the pressure off of me for the moment. I didn't know if Andy was including me in the question but I began considering the possibilities. Jase was looking at me. It was a questioning, pleading look, like "should I tell them." After a moment, Dan and Andy saw the way Jase was looking at me and I felt suddenly trapped, and in the span of those few seconds I decided that the best way out was to be truthful.

"I wasn't including you in that question, Mr. Courter," Dan said. "But if you wanta answer....."

"Okay, I have," I said with a shrug and a grin. By placing myself in the verbal fray I was taking the heat off of Jase, and I'd had just enough of a buzz to see the question as an opportunity.

You could've heard a pin drop when I said it. The night noises even ceased for a moment. The two boys gaped at me in disbelief. Suddenly I realized the impact of what I'd said, and realized that if these boys were totally straight....but the spark of hope was in remembering the two young jocks who had served as my escort at the dedication of the football field.

"No shit!" Dan said quietly.

"Man, nobody would've guessed," said Andy.

Dan scowled and smiled. "You are shittin' us!"

"He's kidding," Jase put in, laughing, coming to my rescue now.

I didn't know if I sounded like I was kidding, but it was my chance to dig myself out of the hole. I appreciated his effort but I didn't necessarily want to be rescued, but I felt I needed to proceed with caution.

"Somehow, I don't think he is," Dan said.

"You're surprised," I said.

"Well, yeah, to say the least," Dan said.

"And now, suddenly curious," I said with a tight grin. They glanced at each other but neither of them said anything. "Come on, Andy, you brought it up," I reminded him.

"Well, yeah, I guess it's something every guy is curious about," he admitted sheepishly.

I looked at Dan.

"He's right," he said with a shrug. "Guys are all the time talking about blow jobs from guys but nobody believes them."

"Are you curious enough to want to try man sex if you had the chance?" I asked. When they didn't answer, I went on. "Because if you are, I could probably arrange it." I purposely didn't mention gay sex; I thought they would relate better to man sex. I glanced at Jase and his WTF look.

There was more dead silence, but not a 'no' from either of them. They looked at each other, like they were looking for permission, or approval. Andy sort of laughed, a snorting, nervous laugh.

"I... I don't know....I guess it'd be fun to find out sometime," he stammered. He looked back at his teammate.

"Yeah, I guess I wouldn't mind finding out what it's like," Dan agreed. "Depending on....I mean, I'm not gay and I'm not doing any gay stuff but....you know......"

"In most situations you wouldn't be expected to," I said.

Dan took a long sip from his beer; it was the last one and he was nursing it. "I'm sitting here trying to figure who might be a likely prospect," he said, looking at Andy.

"Don't look at me," Andy said, laughing.

"No I mean who of the guys at school. I've never had anybody come on to me, or even show a hint of interest. Have you?"


"You?" Dan asked Jase.


"No shit! Who?"

"I'm not saying. It's just a suspicion anyway."

"So there you have it," Dan said, looking at me. "We're willing but who? I mean, how do you make the connection?"

I was sipping my beer, pondering if should make a move. I thought better of it, but surveying the two athletes over the top of my beer, my judgment became clouded. I downed the rest of my beer and asked, "Do you want to go up together?"

They looked at each other in disbelief. Jase did a doubletake; he wasn't expecting it either.

"You're....y-you're gonna d-do it?" Andy blurted, obviously shocked. He looked at Jase, wide eyed. "Is he still kidding or not?"

Dan was struck momentarily dumb. "Are you saying....right now?" asked finally. He look at Jase and asked, "Is he kidding?"

"Do you want to go up together?" I asked again, before Jase could answer.

The two boys looked at each other again and it was Andy who answered.

"No," he said. "No, I think alone."

"All right, who wants to go first?" I asked.

"Damn, he is serious," Dan said.

"I will," Andy replied, perhaps a little too quickly.

"Damn, you are anxious!" Dan chided him.

"I just beat you to it," Andy said.

"Fuck you."

"Ah, Ah, careful, you said you don't do gay stuff," Andy admonished him.

I still wasn't sure they thought I was serious. I set my right foot on the porch and stood up. After a brief hesitation Andy stood up with me. I led the way and he followed me in the house. I heard Dan say to Jase, "Well there he goes, Andy's off to lose his straight virginity." Jase said something but I couldn't make it out. I was sure that Dan would have a lot of questions for him in our absence, and I wondered how he would answer them.

At the stairs, I let Andy go up first. I motioned him on into my bedroom and told him to get comfortable, that I would be in, in a couple of minutes. I slipped into the bathroom to get prepared for whatever might happen. I came out boldly naked, and already lubed up....in case it went that far. I was a little surprised to find Andy had gotten comfortable as well; he was sitting on the edge of the bed in his briefs and t-shirt.

"You said to get comfortable," he said.

"Yes, I wasn't sure you would, though. I'm glad you did," I said.

"I wasn't sure I would either," he said. He laughed softly. "Frankly, we weren't sure if you were serous."

I pulled him to his feet. "I'll show you how serious I am," I said as I tugged on his t-shirt. He lifted his arms for me to take it off of him. Then I walked around to the other side of the bed and climbed in. Andy sat back down and I reached up with my hand on his shoulder to urge him back onto the bed.

"Come on, lie down here and relax," I said.

"I don't know if I can relax," he said nervously as he lay back, and I saw his shorts were tented.

"There's nothing to be nervous about," I said as I laid my hand on his bare stomach. His muscles tightened then relaxed. "That's it, just relax." I ran my hand up across his chest then back down his stomach and I didn't stop till my hand was inside his shorts.

"Wow!" I said, gripping his cock. "That's very impressive." I stroked his cock a couple of times then pulled my hand out and tugged at his shorts. Together we pulled them off and he tossed them aside.

"Right now, it's very hard," he said.

"Yeah, you know what that makes you?"

"What? Not gay just because I'm about to have man sex."

"No, it makes you a healthy, sexy, horny, normal teenager," I said.

"You're very understanding," he said with a nervous laugh.

"No, I'm a healthy, sexy, horny older guy who finds you very sexy and attractive," I said, as I reached down and took hold of his cock again. He jumped.

"Have you ever had anybody touch your cock before?" I asked.

"No. Well, accidentally, in the showers," he said. "And I wasn't hard," he added.

"Does this feel okay, me touching you like this?"

"It feels great. Better than my hand." His voice was steadier. He crooked one arm under his head so he could watch my hand on his cock.

"You're not a virgin, though. With girls, I mean," I said.

When he didn't answer immediately, I knew he was. I was very surprised. "You are," I said.

"Can I be honest with you, and you won't tell anybody? Not even Jase."

"What's said or done in this room stays in this room," I assured him.

"I've never fucked a girl," he said.

"I knew that when you didn't answer me right off. That's not something guys are hesitant about," I said.

"I don't think Dan has either," he said.

"But you both brag that you have."

"Everybody brags about it. Except Jase," he said. "I've never heard Jase brag about sex. And everybody knows he's getting it."

"Maybe he doesn't think he has to," I said.

"Yeah, I know. Every girl in school is drooling over him. He's probably already fucked most every girl in school."

"Oh, I don't think he's that much of a stud," I said.

"You know that shocked the socks off of us, when you said you'd had sex with a guy and then offered to show us," he said.

"I surprise a lot of guys that way."

I started to go for his cock but decided I wanted to try to kiss him first, and I didn't think he would want me to do that after having his cock in my mouth. Some guys are funny about that. I rose up onto my side and let go of his cock and began rubbing my hand over his stomach and his chest.

"Did I say I find you very attractive and sexy?" I asked, leaning a little closer.

"You mentioned it," he said with a smile.

I leaned close enough that he knew what I was about to do and he suddenly got a funny look on his face, almost a deer-in-the-headlights look, but he didn't turn his head away. I came closer with my eyes locked on his. "Do you want to do this?" I whispered. He nodded and I brushed my lips lightly across his mouth. I thought he pushed his lips out to me and I used my tongue to welcome them. Then I kissed him. He kissed me back. In fact, he was the first to open his mouth for my tongue. I quickly found his and we played tongue tag for a moment before I pressed my mouth over his and lip-locked him.

"MMmnnnn," he moaned, I think involuntarily as he kissed me back, harder.

I reached down for his cock; it was quivering violently. He liked this. I'm sure he was surprised at that. I eased away from him and smiled.

"I think you liked that, from the feel of your cock," I said, as I stroked him.

"Ohhhoo!" he gasped. "I never did that before either."

"Would you like to do it again?"

"I....d-don't know," he said.

"It's okay, tell me if you don't, some guys have a problem with it," I said. When he didn't answer I leaned down to kiss him again.

"Oh, Godd," he whispered as his willing mouth met mine.

That kiss lasted longer than the first. We were "making out." He eased me away when he needed to catch his breath.

"Fuck, who'd of thought I would ever be making out and kissing a guy," he said.

"Yes, who'd of thought....and liking it," I said, laughing softly. "Ready for something else?"


I rose up and leaned down and took his cock in my mouth.

"AAAhhhhh!" he gasped loudly. "Oh, Godd!....Ohmigod!"

I began moving my mouth up and down on his cock. He lay there, stiff as a board, his body trembling. I knew he wouldn't last long, and he didn't. I think the kiss got him so boned up that he had no control. Within a few minutes he was spurting warm cum into my mouth. He clawed the sheets, tossing his head from side to side as I swallowed him. Fuck, he tasted so sweet and fresh. I held him there, deep in my throat till he calmed down. When I rose up, he was shaking, like he was sobbing.

"You okay, stud?" I asked.

"I think so," he said. "Godd, I never felt anything like that in my entire life."

"Good. There's more, but maybe for another time," I said.

"More? What more?" he asked.

"Another time," I said. "Your buddy's waiting." I patted his stomach.

"Man, he's going to be in for a huge surprise," he said.

"Were you surprised?"

"Very! I had no idea it would feel so great. Guys brag all the time about getting blow jobs, but now I know they're all lying. And honestly, I never expected you to do it."

"Are you going to brag?" I asked.

"I don't know. Probably not. I'll probably be like Jase. I think people know, when you don't brag, that you don't have to. But if I do, I promise I won't mention any names."

He didn't seem to want to leave, and he hadn't gone down.

"Could I tell you something, Mr. Courter?" he asked.

"You can start out by calling me Brad."

"All, right, Brad."

"You can tell me anything you want; it stays here," I said.

"I....I've had....these thoughts....about Dan," he said.

"What thoughts?" I asked.

"Thoughts about what we just did....feelings....for Dan."

"What thoughts, though? Exactly how are you relating Dan to what we just did?"

"Dan and me....being together, like this."

"How together? You would be doing?....and Dan would be doing? I asked.

"I never took it that far in my imaginings," he said. "Well, I have....as far as the kissing," he said.

"You want to kiss Dan?"

"Yes, I do sometimes....so bad. He's so damned good looking, and he's got the sexist mouth."

"Dan's pretty sexy all over," I said.

"Yeah, he is."

"Maybe after tonight the two of you might feel more comfortable together," I said.

"I don't know, I think he's straight as hell. Straight as Jase."

"That doesn't preclude you having sex with him. Straight guys have sex with other guys all the time," I said. I was stroking his lower body, his thighs and lower stomach, his balls and his still hard cock. "Do you want to have another go at this" I asked.

He nodded. "I'd like that."

I went back down on him. This time he didn't just lie there trembling. He met my oral strokes with his own gentle thrusts into my mouth, and at one point he laid a hand on my head.

I rose up. "Listen, Andy, another time could be sooner rather than later if you want. You are staying the night," I went on as I rose up, "Why don't I bring Dan up here and see what happens with him-alone--then see where things go from there."

"Yeah, that'd be a good idea," he said hoarsely as he rose up and sat on the edge of the bed. "Brad....."


"I said I had thoughts about Dan, but I have no idea if I'd really want to do anything....or if I could."

I suspected what he was getting at. "Do you want to try it and see?"

"If I could......"

"Be my guest," I said as I lay back and took my cock in my hand, offering it to him.

Andy twisted around and took hold of my cock. "You're so big," he whispered as he stroked my cock.

I saw him wet his lips.

"You swallowed my load. Do you think I'd have to do that with Dan? I don't know if I could but... do you think I should?" he asked.

"That's your call. I happen to like it; finishing it right."

"I guess it would be the right thing to do," he said.

"I don't think Dan would expect you to," I told him.

"But if I....spit it out....that'd be like an insult, wouldn't it? Like telling him I don't like him enough to do him right."

"Don't take his load in your mouth, that eliminates the awkwardness of spitting it out."

"You're boiling out a lot of ball juice," he observed.

"Why don't you taste that and see how you like it."

He nodded, his eyes fixed on my cock. He licked his lips again as he bent over my middle. He dragged his tongue over the head of my cock, licking off the precum. I was surprised when he squeezed and milked my cock to get more. I thought my precum was the aphrodisiac that gave him the courage to go down on my cock. He gave me several strokes then rose up.

"Don't cum in my mouth, okay?"

"Listen Andy, I don't think we want to stay up here long enough for you to get me off. Dan's waiting," I said.

"All right."

"I can give you another go," I said.

"No, I'm good. Give Dan a turn. I want to see how he reacts."

"And what develops," I added.


I was surprised that he got completely dressed before he went back downstairs. I put on just my shorts. We went down together. Andy walked out on the porch ahead of me, with a smirking smile on his face. I saw Dan look at him, his eyes searching. I didn't wait for there to be any communication between them.

"You ready?" I asked him.

"Yeah." He got up and followed me to the stairs. He didn't seem at all nervous but I knew he must be bursting with questions that he couldn't ask. At the bottom of the stairs, I let him go up first so I could watch his ass. I showed him into my room.

"Go ahead and get comfortable," I said as I took off my shorts.

"I guess that means get naked, right?" he said, laughing nervously as he started taking off his clothes.

"It means get as comfortable as you like," I said.

He was hard before he got his clothes off. He was a little larger than Andy, not as big as Jase, probably eight inches, and thicker than Andy. He jumped on the bed and bounced into place, spread his legs out and held his cock up for me. He shook his head as if to clear it.

"Wow, I moved too fast. I've had a little too much beer," he said.

"Just lay back and relax," I said.

"I hate it when the room starts spinning," he said.

"If the room spins, it won't be from the beer," I said.

I decided to forgo any attempt at kissing; he didn't seem like he would go for it. If he found he was, well that needed to be with Andy, not me. I went straight for his cock. He let out a yelp when I closed my mouth on it and he tried to shove it up into my throat. I rose up.

"Calm down, dude, we'll get to it," I said.

He relaxed then, almost went limp except for his cock, while I sucked him. He made no sound, almost no reaction at all. Finally, I rose up again.

"Am I doing okay?" I asked.

"Oh, fuck, you don't gotta ask."

"I just wondered, you're not responding like most guys do," I said.

"You said to relax."

"That doesn't mean you can't enjoy it," I said.

"Oh, I'm enjoying it so much my head's spinning," he said. "And I don't know if I like where it's taking me."

"Then don't go there," I said. I was propped up on one elbow, stroking his slick cock.

"Can't help it," he said huskily.

The way he was looking at me, I thought he'd had way too much to drink, although he hadn't shown any indication of that when we came up the stairs; no staggering or weaving about. I kept stroking his cock.

"Mr. Courter, would....."

"Please, why don't you call me Brad. That would seem more appropriate, considering the circumstances," I said.

"All right....Brad....Brad, would you be shocked if I said I think you're hot?"

I was, but I didn't show it. "I would be flattered if you thought that," I said.

"You won't tell Andy I said that," he said.

"Of course not. Everything stays here, just like with Andy."

"Ah, then Andy's got some secrets too."

"Yes, of course."

"You're hotter'n hell, Brad."

I smiled. "You don't have to flatter me, Dan, I'm going to give you the best blowjob you've ever imagined."

"It's not flattery. You are hot. Hell, hot enough that I might just give you a blowjob in return," he said, giggling. "Sixty-nine, isn't that what they call it?"

I laughed. "I think you have had too much to drink."

"Or maybe just enough," he said. He started to rise up. "Fuck.... maybe just fuckin'-'nough." He was dizzy and lay back down. "I was down there thinking and wondering what you and Andy might be doing up here."

"Sorry, you're getting nothing out of me. You'll have to ask Andy," I said.

"I wasn't prying," he said. "I was just thinking, and wondering when I came up....." He rose up again, looking a little glassy eyed. Then in a sudden, smooth move, he pushed me onto my back and came up over me and smashed his mouth onto mine, his tongue searching for my open lips.

Damn, I was so wrong about him. I parted my lips and his tongue darted into my mouth like an angry snake. I was shocked out of my skull but that didn't keep from me wrapping my arms around him and kissing him back. This kid was hotter than a firecracker and he was about to explode, he was so full of pent up passion.

"I wanta sixty-nine you, Brad. I wanta suck your cock," he said in a hoarse whisper, sounding almost desperate.

"Have you ever done that?" I asked.

"No. But nobody's ever done it till they've done it their first time, have they?"

He didn't wait for my answer. He turned around on the bed, lying on his side and pulled me over to my side and suddenly my cock was being engulfed in the warm wetness of his virgin mouth. He groaned loudly as he began sucking me. I started sucking him as well. He was hungry for cock. He acted like he'd been starving for it all his life. When he tried to deep throat me and choked, I didn't say anything and I didn't try to stop him. I let him try it again, and again, and again, till he did it. He let out another loud moan of satisfaction, muffled by my cock deep in his throat, when he accomplished it. Then he started playing with my butt. I felt his hands pause when he discovered the slickness in my ass. He felt around, exploring, finding and rubbing his fingertip over my asshole, then he shoved his finger inside me. He fingered me for a moment as he sucked my cock, then he eased back from it.

"Do you want me to fuck you, Brad? Is that why you're lubed up?"

"Yes, if you want to," I said.

"Hell, yes, I want to," he said as he scrambled around on the bed. "Did Andy fuck you?"

"I told you, everything stays in this room," I said.

"We are in this room," he said smartly. "Did Andy fuck you? You can tell me."

"Sorry, that's not gonna work," I said as I reached in the drawer of the bedside stand for a condom.

"Do I have to?" he asked as he got between my legs. "I would like the first time to be bareback if that's okay."

"No, you don't have to," I said, tossing the condom on the floor.

There was no semblance of foreplay. Dan brought my legs up and pushed them against my chest. He had no trouble finding his way, and I assumed that was because of his experience with girls. I thought Andy might be wrong that he had never fucked a girl. He certainly knew the rudiments. His cock stretched my ass unmercifully, all the way in, which was one, hard, steady thrust. He saw me wince, but showed no mercy.

"I guess it's gotta hurt some," he said.

"Nothing I can't handle,"I said.

I thought Dan was going to fuck my brains out.

"Damn, where'd you learn to fuck like this?"

"I'm doing okay, huh?"

"You're doing fantastic," I said. "You've had some experience. I'm not showing you a damn thing, am I?"

He laughed. "Man, I've never even fucked a girl before," he said. "The whole of my experiences can be wrapped up right here in this room," he said. "And this," he added, holding up his hand.

"I can't believe you guys are virgins," I said.

"Ah! So Andy's a virgin too," he said, laughing.

"Okay, I fucked up there. I shouldn't have said that. Don't tell him I said that."

"I won't," he said, still laughing. "That little liar."

"He said you lie all the time about fucking girls."

"How would he know I'm lying?"

"He just doesn't believe you," I said.

Talking helped us both hold off, I think, and when we were both quiet, the lust built up. He started fucking me harder and faster. He took hold of my cock and began jacking me off.

"Listen, I wanta cum inside you," he said.

"Yes, okay."

"I'll try to get you off with me."

He got me off with perfect precision. It was a perfect climax, well timed on his part. About a second after I felt his hot cum spraying my insides, I lost mine. I shot all over the place. He was amazed. He teetered on his knees for a moment after he was finished, till I pulled him down on top of me.

"Wow! This is certainly not what I thought you would be showing me," he said. "I was expecting a blowjob, at the most."

"And you never got that," I said.

"I'll take a rain-check," he said. "So, did Andy fuck you or not? He's gonna tell me anyway."

"Then he will tell you, or not," I said.

"Or did you fuck him!" he exclaimed excitedly.

"Not gonna work," I told him again.

I took Dan into the bathroom where we washed up. I started to go back into the bedroom where his clothes were but he started for the stairs.

"You're going down like that?" I asked.

"Yeah. I got no secrets," he said.

Downstairs, Andy and Jase were in the wicker chair and the porch swing, talking in hushed tones. They both looked surprised when Dan and I came out on the porch naked.

"So, did you learn anything?" Andy asked him.

"I got an A-plus on the test," Dan said.

"You guys make me tired," Jase drawled as he stood up. "I'm going to bed."

Andy stood up. "Yeah, me too. What're the sleeping arrangements?"

I took Andy by the arm, and grabbed Dan's arm. I pulled them together, facing each other; close together, in-your-face together.

"Dan....Andy...." They both looked at me. "No, don't look at me, you look at him, and you look at him." They turned their focus back to each other. "Dan....Andy....you guys need to talk. So you can do that, the sleeping arrangements are, you guys are taking Jase's bed, and Jase is sleeping with me." They were too surprised to argue with me.

Upstairs, Jase showed the two boys to his room then went on into my room. I told the boys goodnight, leaving them a little bewildered, but visibly excited.

"Shit, I wasn't expecting this," I heard Andy say.

"I wasn't expecting any of this, but I guess we gotta talk," Dan said.

Jase was climbing into bed, offering a wonderful view of his tight, round butt.

"Sorry if I messed up any plans you might've had, but those two need to get re-acquainted," I told him.

"Yeah," he said with a soft chuckle. "I got the feeling that you re-directed their hormones."

"Let's concentrate on your hormones," I said, as I crawled into bed, half on top of him.

"There's lube and condoms in your room, right?" I asked.

"Yes, do you think they're going to need them?"

"I don't know, but I want them to be prepared."

Sometime in the night, Jase got up to go to the bathroom. He never came back to my room.

In the morning I found the three of them entangled, naked, in his bed. I let them sleep and went down to start breakfast. It was a beautiful morning and I decided we would eat out on the porch. I was setting things up on the small table for a mini-buffet when Dan came out on the porch. He was wearing his briefs, his hair was damp from his shower.

"Good morning," I greeted him.


"How'd you sleep?" I asked.

"What sleep?" he drawled, laughing softly. I handed him an orange juice. "Hey, I wanta thank you for bringing Andy and me together like you did."

"That would've happened anyway, eventually," I said.

"I don't know if it would've or not. Anyway, I'm glad it happened this soon in our lives. I've always loved the guy, I mean like a brother or teammate. After last night....." He paused, shaking his head.

"After last night....what?"

"After last night, I think I love him more than that. I think I'm in love with him. Last night was the most wonderful night of my life, not to mention the best sex of my life."

"I'm sorry Jase intruded. I didn't intend for him to do that," I said.

"Oh, Jase was icing on the cake," he said with a broad smile. "Godd, that guy can fuck! He drove us both crazy. I can't even remember all the positions we were in."

I reared back with surprise.

"What?" he asked.

"He fucked you both?"

"Yeah, he damn near fucked my brains out. We did about everything I've ever seen done in those porn videos."

Just then Andy came out on the porch. He was naked, also still damp from his shower.

"Damn, where are your manners," Dan said. "You don't come down to breakfast with your dick hanging out."

"My dick is your breakfast," Andy said in a droll tone. "Hey, Mr. Courter--Brad--thanks for last night."

"I didn't have anything to do with it. I was in my own room in my own bed," I said.

"You had everything to do with it," he said as he moved over beside Dan and put his arm around his waist. "Last night was a life changing experience for me."

"For us," Dan said, putting his arm around Andy. Then casual as hell, he kissed him. Andy kissed him back, hard, passionately. I went back inside and left them alone. Jase appeared in the doorway in his briefs and a T-shirt.

"Where's Andy and Dan?"

"Out on the porch," I said. "Better leave them alone."

He went over to the door, then came back, all smiles. "Geezuss, Dan's fucking him bent over the porch railing."

"Like I said, leave them alone."

"Yeah. Better put a hold on breakfast," he said.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . continued



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