Father, Son, Movies and More

I’m the father of an 18-year-old son. How my ex-wife and I managed to conceive a baby is a mystery, since we neither loved nor respected each other. Getting married was a terrible mistake, resulting in six and a half years of unimaginable misery. (In answer to your questions: lots of alcohol; Las Vegas.) I was secretly gay and had little to no desire to have sex with a women, especially her, and my ex was a drunk, who only wanted to make love to a vodka bottle, with an occasional affair with a bourbon bottle. I got custody of the kid because of her alcoholism, but she had visitation rights. After a few half hearted attempts to be a mother on weekends, she disappeared (probably because visitation day meant she had to be sober for a few hours), and I haven’t seen or heard from her in 13 years. Good riddance!

My son (I don’t use the term “our son” anymore), Julian, is an amazing kid! He’s been dealt a “royal flush” in life. Let me explain what I mean. He’s precocious and “whip smart,” as the saying goes. As a high school senior, he takes several college courses at the local university. Julian always finishes the year with top academic honors in his class. In a few months, he’ll graduate as class valedictorian. But, it’s more than being smart. Julian’s intellectually curious too. If he comes across some idea or concept he doesn’t know or understand, he stubbornly investigates and researches until he does. Julian attacks every project, whether school related or not, with energy and enthusiasm. He’s earned a full academic scholarship to a prestigious university in the fall.

Don't get me wrong, however, Julian's not just a book worm or nerd. Julian's an excellent athlete. He's on the varsity high school swim and tennis teams and has won trophies in both sports. Because of his athleticism, he's always picked first for intramural basketball and flag football teams and for spontaneous weekend pick-up games with friends.

I’ve never had to worry about Julian getting in “trouble.” He’s made good choices for friends. His friends group consists of four or five guys, plus two or three girls. Julian and his friends enjoy going to “trendy” coffee shops, art houses, movies, or taking turns playing video games/watching TV in the homes of their parents. Like many high school students, Julian and his friends may “push the envelope” a little — drink a beer or two or smoke a little weed on a rare weekend night, but it’s nothing serious, and I don’t make it an issue.

I’m busy at work and travel on occasion. I can't always be around the house to supervise him or cook or clean for him. At an early age, Julian had to learn to do some of these things. Unless he wanted to stay with friends, I started to leave Julian home by himself (sometimes a friend stayed with him) at age 14 when I traveled. He managed himself well. (There’ve been no “blow out” beer parties!) I'd like to think that learning to be independent and responsible helped shape his character.

I’ve always emphasized that we need to communicate honestly with each other. I tell Julian about my work, friends, neighborhood gossip, and dates. Julian tells me about school, classes, where he and his friends are going, and what they’re doing. I’ve never hidden the fact that I’m gay. Hilariously, he gives me honest assessments of the guys I’m dating or a thumbs up or down gesture when he meets my “one-night stands” in the morning. Conversely, Julian’s told me about some light make out sessions with girls. We have that kind of open and honest relationship.

I still haven’t told you one other thing — Julian's strikingly handsome. Obviously, Julian inherited his good looks from me, and I've got a bridge to sell you in Brooklyn! (Maybe, it’s my inner beauty that shines through in my son. Lol. I refuse to believe that he inherited any good characteristics from my ex.) Julian’s a magnet for the girls with his smooth swimmer/runner type body. He’s 6 feet tall, with thick, black curly hair (his locks could win a trophy for “best hair.”), dark eyes, olive skin, and an easy, infectious smile. Because of swimming, Julian works out and his muscles are gaining definition. I’ve mentioned that he should try modeling and he’s considered it. I'm sometimes jealous of Julian, when I compare his grades to mine and his body to my gangling and uncoordinated teenaged self.

You can see why I said Julian drew a “royal flush in life.” I love him and am proud of him!

I could continue to sing a "song of praise" about my son for many more paragraphs, but I think that the readers who accessed this web site are more interested in other things! So, here’s my story. It was a Friday night. I was home alone channel surfing, looking for a game to watch. Julian and his friends were at a movie — something about super heroes and space aliens. Yuck! My cell phone rang. It’s was my boss, informing me of a crises with a client (on a Friday night? Really?). My boss asks if I could write a letter that reassures the client about our proposed business strategy. I didn’t bring my lap top home thinking wrongly, as it turns out. that there wasn’t anything work related to do this weekend. I go upstairs and borrow Julian’s lap top. I’ve done that before when these situations arise, and he’s fine with it.

It takes maybe 45 minutes to write the client letter. I email the letter to my boss for his approval. As I’m about to close Julian’s lap top, I stop for a couple of seconds to peruse his desk top, which is completely filled with icons for school, games, news and sports sites, and a myriad of other things. For some reason, out of the scores of icons, my eyes alight on one icon toward the bottom of the screen labeled “Movie.” I speculate what that could be about? Probably, he and his friends horsing around one day. Or, possibly one of his swim meets. Maybe, it's a recording of the school play he was recently in? I’m bored and intrigued. What is the movie about? I know I can’t open it because Julian has a right to his privacy. I’ve never snooped before when using his computer. If I do, he’ll know and that could damage the trust he has in me. Still, for some reason this night, I keep starring at the icon like it has some sort of voodoo hex on me. Even though I know it’s a violation of my son’s privacy and I feel instant guilt, I click on the icon. It opens. It’s a 46 minute and 34 second movie. The opening frame displays the title “Movie.” My first thought is, “Perhaps, Julian could’ve thought of a more descriptive title!”

I hesitate again. I know I shouldn’t, but I want to watch this movie! A movie that’s named “Movie.” A movie that I didn’t know existed two minutes ago. A movie that I have no right to view. It’s like suddenly seeing a hundred dollar bill on the sidewalk. Even if you're wealthy, you have to pick it up, right? Similarly, I had this uncontrollable impulse to click on the play button, maybe because I’m bored, or maybe because I wanted to be more a part of Julian's life outside the house. I couldn’t stop myself. My fingers had a mind of their own! To this day, I still can’t decide if clicking on the play button was the worst thing or best thing I’ve ever done!

The movie starts. There’s a short shot of the outside of a large, suburban house fronted by several stately shade trees. That's followed by an interior panoramic scan of the kitchen (I note with considerable satisfaction that dirty dishes are piled in the sink), followed by a scan of a game room with pool and ping pong tables, a large screen TV, and somewhat ratty over-stuffed couches. Lastly, there’s a scan of a bedroom (not exactly an attention grabbing first few minutes. Is this a movie about home decorating mistakes?) The camera moves back to the kitchen, where Julian and two other guys are standing around the kitchen island drinking beers. The camera does a close up of my son’s upper torso and face, followed by similar shots of the other two guys. The first guy is Julian’s best friend, Robert. (He’s a good kid that Julian has known since first or second grade. My son and Robert are practically inseparable.) I don’t know the second guy. He looks to be about 30-35 years old in good shape, with long, nearly-to-the-shoulder blond hair. Since the camera is moving and not fixed, there’s obviously a fourth person in the room. Everyone is laughing and talking, but there's no sound. They appear to be having a good time.

The camera moves to the game room to show portions of a hard fought ping pong match between Julian and the blond guy. Of course, my son wins easily! Yea! We also get a few points of a match between the cameraman (mid-40s, with a beer gut, dark-framed glasses, and mostly bald with a thin band of gray hair at the base of his skull running from ear to ear) and a shirtless Robert. (I must say that Robert’s looking good! Like that old song, he's 6'2", blond and blue. Why haven’t I noticed his chest before?) There’s apparently a lot of good natured banter but, again, there’s no sound.

Next, the camera moves to the bedroom. There are no words in the English language (and I mean none) to describe what I see. Words like shock, astonishment, stunned, and astounded are simply inadequate. Julian, Robert, and the blond guy are naked! They’re hard! My son is kneeling on the bed, facing Robert and the blond guy!

The camera zooms in for a close-up shot of Julian’s body, followed by a full screen shot of his erection! (Despite my shock, I can't help but notice that Julian has 6 to 6 1/2 inches of hard meat between his legs. A royal flush in the cock department too!) The cameraman follows with similar close ups of Robert and the blond guy. (I’m slow to react or maybe I’m dense, but the realization suddenly slaps me in the face. My son, Julian, is going to be recorded having sex! This can’t be! Am I hallucinating?) Julian leans in and puts his lips on Robert’s hard, purple cock head. After a second or two, his tongue starts to lick Robert’s shaft from his balls to the tip of his cock. When it’s wet, Julian takes most of Robert’s dick down his throat and begins sucking. Robert’s facial expression indicates that he’s been raptured into heaven! Julian's head bobs up and down on Robert's shaft. The blond guy watches, and seemingly encourages, my son for several minutes before moving closer. He wants some of that hot mouth action too! The blond guy’s cock is large; perhaps 7 inches or a little more. No way Julian can take it all, but the blond guy forces a good portion of his cock into Julian’s mouth. Unlike Robert, who was immobile, the blond guy starts a slow face fuck.

This is hot! Can I say that, when my teenaged son’s involved? Does that make me a pervert? My cock has started to “chub” up, watching Julian with these guys.

On screen, Julian scrambles around, probably on direction from the cameraman, to lie on his back with his head hanging over the edge of the mattress. The blond guy re-inserts his cock in Justin’s mouth and starts to vigorously face fuck him. After a few hard thrusts, the blond guy forcefully shoves his entire dick down Justin’s throat, his pubic hair almost touching Julian’s lips and chin. I can tell that Julian is in some distress, with his arms flailing against the mattress and his hips rolling back and forth trying to reposition the blond guy’s cock, which has seemingly nailed my son’s head to the side of the mattress. A close up shows Julian’s watery eyes and a sheen of saliva sliding out of his mouth. The blond guy doesn’t slow down. He’s fucking Julian’s mouth hard. You can tell Julian's gaging and coughing. And, perhaps, panicking!

Damn, I’ve got a full hard on now!

There’s a minute or two of intense face fucking and, soon, several streams of phlegm are rolling down Julian’s face, settling into his hair. The blond guy pulls his cock out of my son’s mouth. On instructions (I think), Julian slides back so his head lies on the mattress. Julian lifts his legs and the blond guy positions himself by Julian’s head, grabs his feet, and pulls them up over his head, leaving Julian’s ass completely exposed. Robert moves forward and starts rubbing his hard cock against Julian’s hole! Lots of close ups here! There is a moment caught by the camera where Robert and Julian look at each other. Julian nods almost imperceptibly, followed by the slightest smile from Robert. (I think Julian’s giving Robert silent permission to fuck him! OMG!) Robert somewhat hesitantly pushes his dick into Julian’s hole and slowly and gently starts to fuck him. Julian enjoys this -- he has a smile on his face!

I unbuckle my pants and slide them down to my ankles. I need to free my throbbing, steel-hard cock from the confines of my jeans immediately, or I’ll suffer an injury, if you know what I mean!

After only two or three minutes, Robert throws his head back. His mouth is open. His thrusts harder a couple of times. Robert pulls his cock out and shoots a glob of cum at Julian’s hole! After shooting a few strings of cum, he clumsily manages to shove his jizz-covered cock in Julian’s ass. All this in close up. Next, Robert moves to the head of the bed and after some hesitation and some off-camera instructions (I think), puts his slimy, semen-covered cock in my son’s mouth. Julian cleans it.

My God, Robert came in Julian’s ass! Will the blond guy fuck Julian next? That thought is almost enough to make me cum spontaneously. Do I really want my son to be fucked by that big dick? What’s wrong with me?

The blond guy positions his 7-inch dick at Julian’s hole, his cock much bigger in length and girth than Robert’s. Now, Robert holds Julian’s legs in the air. Julian’s body stiffens, as the 7-inch dick punctures his hole. Once he inserts the head of his penis, the blond guy says something to Julian before slowly pushing his shaft all the way in. Justin looks uncomfortable, maybe in pain; the blond guy’s cock must hurt. The blond guy quickly settles into his rhythm — pulling his cock almost all the way out before burying it in Justin’s hole. The blond guy’s balls slap against Julian’s ass. Over and over. (If only there was some sound, so I could hear the ball slaps!) There’s a close up of Julian’s face. His eyes are closed. The blond guy’s 7 inches fill Justin’s anus. At one point, Julian brings his left arm up to bury his head in the crook of his elbow, his lips parting repeatedly. I can only imagine my son’s groans of pain and gasps of pleasure!

I haven’t touched my engorged cock, but I feel a huge load of cum gathering in my balls. What kind of sicko gets turned on by someone fucking his son? I should be ashamed of myself!

During the blond guy's fuck, the camera moves from the blond guy's cock sliding in and out of Julian's hole, to Julian's face, to the blond guy's face. Finally, the camera focuses exclusively on the blond guy’s dick. The blond guy must be ready to cum! He pulls out, at the same moment that a blast of cum shoots at Julian’s hole. Immediately, the blond guy jams his cock back inside, finishing his orgasm inside Julian. When he pulls his cock out, copious amounts of gooey cum follow from Julian’s hole.

I can’t help myself! I start to jerk off, reasoning that I should cum now that the movie is almost over. Oh, God, I think, "Am I a degenerate for masturbating to my son’s porno movie?"

Now, the image recorded by the camera jolts and rolls rapidly from side to side, as if the camera was almost dropped. For 5 to 10 seconds, the movie is unwatchable, as images of the bedroom tumble across the screen. When the screen returns to stability, Julian remains laying on his back on the bed. The cameraman enters the screen. (The blond guy must be holding the camera now.) The cameraman’s naked, with a 8-inch boner! (Is there no justice in the world? Really? This guy has an 8-incher!) There’s some talking. Julian raises his legs and Robert grabs his heels, pulling his legs back so they are over his head. Julian’s wet and glistening hole is again fully exposed. The cameraman pauses his cock at my son’s hole, so the camera can record the image. Then, without hesitation, the cameraman plunges his dick to the hilt into my son. For an instant, the camera focuses on the pain stamped on Julian’s face. He’s gritting his teeth trying, but failing, not to cry out.

The cameraman fucks my son furiously. His rapid hammering thrusts never slow. (How can the out-of-shape cameraman fuck so hard and fast?) Julian appears to cry out several times. I think Robert tries to comfort Julian by massaging his calf muscles. Over and over for many minutes, the cameraman rams his cock into Julian. I’ve never seen anyone maintain that frenzied pace for that amount of time! Tears run down the side of Julian’s face!

The visual of this intense fucking is too much; I can’t hold out! Now, I know there’s something perverted about me! My son is literally being ripped apart, grunting in pain, nearly crying, pounding his clenched fists into the mattress, and I’m orgasming, shooting cum all over my chest and abdomen, as if I enjoy Julian’s pain!

Now, the cameraman appears to cry out. Again, the camera concentrates on Julian's hole. The cameraman pulls his cock out and shoots a huge wad of cum into Julian’s crack before shoving it back in and disgorging his remaining load up my son’s ass. There’s one last shot of Julian’s wet, shiny hole with cum oozing out, and a puddle of cum on the sheet under his ass. The movie abruptly ends.

I’m left staring into a black, empty screen, cum rolling off my torso onto the couch, a wet hard dick in my hands. I must be insane! Only someone with mental problems would enjoy watching his 18-year old son in a porno movie being violently fucked! I think of the implications of this movie. I have so many questions for Julian. And, for myself. Plus, what’s Julian’s reaction when he finds out I watched the movie? Fuck, I should never have clicked on that icon!