Exploring the Edge

Welcome to Exploring the Edge First let me thank all of you who made comments all through and at the end of edgings. I love them, even those that point out inconsistencies. (If I can just keep track of them all!) That my characters, however ridiculous at times, seem to interest you and entertain you, is a huge thrill to me, so don’t stop the comments at all!

This chapter is the first in a Sequel to Edgings. Chapter One below is actually chapter 27 if you think of this sequel as merely part of a whole. So, if you haven’t read that first, you might enjoy this book better if you do! Just look up my stories under Draven Moorcock and go all the way back to Chapter One of Edgings.

This book doesn’t start all that sexually. The main character is in emotional recovery from the events that came before. But if your patient and stick with him, Jake is a very, very, sexy and complex man. Many Edgings!!!

Exploring the Edge

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 Chapter One

JAKE

I woke up to feel a warm body pressing back into my arms, and a splitting headache. What the fuck? It didn’t take me long to realize it wasn’t Dan.

I had the usual morning wood, and it was pressed up between two ass cheeks and feeling damn good, even if I felt like shit.

That’s when the memory of the night before crashed down on me. Fuck. A moment more and I realized it was Patrick I held in my arms. not my husband of two plus years, Dan.

Much as my cock loved where it was, my brain went into shut down mode. I couldn’t deal.

I pulled the blanket over him so he wouldn’t miss my warmth in his sleep and slipped back out of the bed. My morning wood forced me into the bathroom, and despite the blinding headache, I jammed my hard ten inches down, and let loose a long stream of piss, flossed, brushed, got into the shower, and just stood there under the spray.

The smell of coffee stirred me up and shampooed, scrubbed down and rinsed off, leaving the shower for a towel, which I used slowly, not really thinking about it.

The bed was empty, so I set about putting on my gym clothes before I even looked at the time. SHIT! I was way too late to teach my gym class.

My phone showed too calls from the Gym manager.

I could hear humming in the kitchen so figured Patrick was out there making breakfast.

I answered the calls, “Al”

“Jake where are you? Both your classes I had to cancel today. Guys just waiting around for you. I told them to go through their routines, and then head home.” Oh shit,” I thought, Al, the gym owner was pissed.

“Al, sorry, man,” I said.

“Ok you sound sick. What's wrong?”

I realized my voice had come out all hoarse and raspy.

“Yea, sick. Bad stomach bug. Sorry, I was so sick last night I didn’t even set an alarm, sorry Al.”

Al hmphed but he then said, “Your husband sick too, I guess. He didn’t come in either. He could have subbed for you, but no word from him. I’d have paid him had I known. Well, get better. Will you be here tomorrow?”

“The way I am feeling right now, I doubt it, Al, so you better put out a class canceled sign tomorrow.”

“Well, your due some sick days. I will do that.” There was a brief pause, and then Al added, “How bout I give you the week off. You can take a vacation.”

“I, I think I will take you up on that. Thanks, Al.”

“You mind if I ask Dan to sub for you? Unless he is sick. If he isn’t can you get him to sub for you?”

Shit! If he asked Dan, Dan would probably tell him I wasn’t sick.

“I’ll ask him.” I finally said.

Al was no dummy. He picked up on the pause. “You and Dan, ok?”

Ok, hell with it, “Nope, nope, were not. Which is why I am sick, so yeah, you ask him.”

“Crap, hope it's nothing major. You two going be, ok?”

I thought about it for a moment until the silence stretched out uncomfortably.

“Not so sure about that, Al.”

“Sheesus, ok, you take all the time you need. I will call Dan, but you know maybe it would be better if you guys took a break together.”

“Da already works full time at his hotel, Al. He wouldn’t want to sub more than a morning or two at most, anyway. And no, it wouldn’t be better.”

“That bad, hunh. Damn. Well, maybe I will just cancel your classes for a week. Take it easy. I’ll be praying for you both.”

“Thanks, Al.”

I thumbed out of the call and headed on into the kitchen.

Patrick was there, stirring up eggs in a pan, and then tipping the pan to slide them out into a bowl. He put the pan down, turned off the stove, and turned as if he were going to come check on me. He was dressed in tight jeans and a t and looked beautiful, some of his long blond hair spilling over his right shoulder almost to his abs.

Normally I would have boned up seeing him, but all I could do was look.

Patrick went still, seeing me, his green eyes taking me in.

“You look like I thought you would.”

I grunted.

Patrick said, softly, “Sorry about last night, Jake. I am sure everything will be all right.”

I headed for the coffee, poured myself a cup, got a plate and put it on the little half table booth, sat myself down, not saying a word. I needed the coffee to clear my head before I even thought about eating.

After a few sips, feeling my mind begin to clear, I said, “Thanks for the breakfast, but why are you here?”

Patrick looked at me, then turned away to serve himself with coffee, eggs, bacon and a piece of toast. I had missed the toast. Then he came to the table and sat down at the other end of the three person half a table booth.

I couldn’t help but remember we were sitting at the same little table where Alex and I had gone too far and pissed Dan off that first day when Alex came to us to stay.

Patrick spoke slowly, “Mike and Dean and I met up at the Shore’s and drank at the bar after leaving your place. When Alex and then Dan showed up, we heard Dan’s and Alex’s story. Dan decided he wouldn’t go home.” Patrick paused and looked at me before going on. “Dean and Dan stayed up in Dan’s office and Mike and Alex took the room Dan had held back for us.” I didn’t fail to notice the way Patrick rushed through that part. “I realized you were here alone, and I decided not to leave you that way.”

I looked at Patrick and then nodded slowly. “Thankyou.”

“Do... do you want me to stay with you for a few days…”

I shook my head before he finished and winced. I clearly needed more coffee. I started to get up but Patrick beat me, taking my cup and refilling it for me. He also got the bacon and eggs in the serving bowls on the table, getting me utensils. He said nothing until he was back in his seat.

“You say Dan and Dean were together last night?”

Patrick flushed and then jerked a nod. “When we went our separate ways, off to bed… yeah. Then I came here, found you out like a light on the terrace, an empty whisky bottle beside you. You’re not a light guy, Jake. Solid. I more or less had to drag you.”

I mulled that over for a few long hard moments. “Sorry.”

 “Are you and Dan going to be all right, Jake?” Patrick asked me, softly.

I didn’t answer. Instead, I looked at Patrick and asked, “Why aren’t you with Alex? The two of you have been great together.”

Patrick sighed and then shrugged. “Alex is in love with Dan. He is in lust with you, and I am a convenient fuck partner. That was really clear to me last night.”

I nodded slowly, “Your probably right.”

Patrick shrugged, and laughed, “And after facing Mike’s huge cock up close, he has a new lust object. I don’t mind being second wheel, but fourth or fifth, isn’t any fun.”

Patrick spread some jam on his toast and said, “I guess it’s not my business, but you two seem so in love. I can’t believe a little sexy out of control fun can ruin you guys like this.”

I sipped my coffee, and looked at the eggs, finally scooping a serving spoon full and putting them on my plate.

Finally, I spoke. “The sex part, the broken rules, all of that was just playing really, to me, at least. I got so caught up in the fun of teasing my man that I lost track of him. I didn’t notice when he began to fall for Dean. I didn’t notice that he just couldn’t handle teasing, heavy flirting with others without going too far. He even hinted, hell said outright, he couldn’t do that. Said it to my face, and I just didn’t listen. I was just too damn full of my own kinks.”

Patrick didn’t say anything.

I was glad, as I needed to get this out. “I’m a kinky bastard, Patrick. I like watching the one I love to get sexy with others, kiss them, grind them, more… and when they don’t know I am watching, it's even hotter for me. I am a cuckold and I like it. I set Dan up. I put him in harm's way, and he couldn’t handle it and it's my fault, not his. It's even my fault he fell for Dean.”

Patrick looked puzzled and finally asked. “How is that possible?”

I laughed and said, “I introduced them. When they flirted, I didn’t stop them. Whe

I laughed and said, “I introduced them. When they flirted, I didn’t stop them. When Dan sucked Dean in the bar, I encouraged it by fucking Dan at the same time. And… I am not good at drama, showing jealousy, I hate that shit, and Dan probably thinks I didn’t love him enough to possess him. Hell, when he confessed, he was having sex with Alex right here under my nose, I told him I already knew, and I practically said I was ok with it!”

I realized I was standing and yelling. I looked down at Patrick, whose brows were lifted. Fuck! How did that happen?

“Shit, sorry.” I said, sitting back down. I made myself take a bite of egg and chased it with coffee. The coffee was acid in my stomach, and I ate to ease the discomfort.

“So,” Patrick paused and then said in a reasonable, calm sort of voice, “You’re a bit of a voyeur, you like the danger of being cheated on, the risk to your relationship is a sexual thrill for you.” Patrick paused and grinned slightly, “And pardon me for adding this, but from what I’ve seen you’re a bit of an exhibitionist, but then with looks like yours who wouldn’t be? So, I guess the question is, Is Dan someone who can play those games with you and enjoy it, and yet keep you first in his life?”

I looked back at Patrick and nodded. Had to give it to him, he had summarized the problem in a nutshell.

It felt like I would suffocate, and it was so hard to speak, but I kept putting one word in front of the other. “If that were all it is, I would ask Dan to meet me for lunch today and talk all this out.”

“Why isn’t it all? Seems like a lot to talk about.”

“Because Dan admitted he is in love with Dean. He put Dean over me in his head. I watched him do it, Patrick. All the rest was just sex. That love between them was a betrayal, and I don’t have any confidence I can win Dan back.” I looked at Patrick and then at my eggs.

“Two years with Dan, and only now am I coming to the conclusion that we just may not be compatible.”

Patrick didn’t question me further, but simply said, “I see you have a lot of thinking to do, Jake, so I am just going to tell you that I am here for you, not as a fuck mate or a rebound object. I am here to listen, and, by the way, until or unless you kick me out, I live here.”

I smiled at him. “And you can stay here as long as you like. Thanks, Patrick.”

We finished breakfast and I washed the dishes. Patrick’s divorced mother lived in the area, and he had promised to run some errands for her, so though it was his day off at city hall, in a little while I was alone in the house. I didn’t stay there long. I still had my Lifeguard Patrol job to do, so I changed and headed out to do it.

For the first time since I started as a Lifeguard, my heart wasn’t in it, and I kept thinking about “The Shores Hotel, down the beach not all that far away where Dean and Dan were dealing with life and with each other. My mind was anywhere but on my job. I was thankful that all the lifeguards under me were alert and very much on theirs. If it had been just me, someone would have maybe not had that timely a rescue.

When I got back to my office, Mike was waiting for me.