Eddie

Not 3:30?

I combed my hair. Tried to look presentable, without washing away remnants of Eddie.

Almost brushed my teeth. But then I thought of all his cum and spit in my mouth.

Not like me. At all. Ever.

Had everything really changed, in just one morning?

Even my comb reminded me of his hands, running through my hair, and I felt guilty I might have brushed away some of the oil from his hands.

There would be more, right?

How could I not worry? I had no idea what the “she knows” comment meant. Hell. I could only guess at what the rose meant. Who had put that there? How could he have known, in advance, that our morning would go the way it did?

I looked at myself in the mirror. Fuck. Why was it his eyes I saw in the mirror? How was it he could fuck me, with just his eyes?

Damn. He had a girl. Shit. I even had a girl, even if mine had to know I had been through enough already that it wasn’t all that likely we would stay together. Otherwise, I supposed it didn’t mean all that much, anyway.

And yet the morning was now history. History I never would have dreamed would have happened.

We both had our futures ahead of us. Would it be possible for them to ever merge? How would Eddie not stay with sports? How would I not go ahead to a totally different kind of academically-oriented school?

I breathed deep.

I thought of the air in his lungs.

The crazy thing was, we were both actually pretty successful, in our own ways. Just such different ways.

And of course we both had our flaws. Interesting flaws, in so many ways. But different, even there.

And yet there was the morning.

The morning where I really had somehow quietly hoped just to get to know him better. And for the supposed smart one, look how stupid I seem to have been. Was he really so smart that he anticipated ALL of what happened?

Shit. I even fucked him. And not just once. Actually shot my cum. In his ass. And in his mouth. And didn’t feel the least bit guilty, about any of it? How did he let me do that? Had I never really known him?

Was it possible that nobody BUT me really knew him now?

Of course I overthought things. Always telling myself that’s how I worked through things, as well as I did.

Eddie? I had never given him credit for thinking through much of anything. But the fucker clearly knew me, better than I knew myself.

Plus there was that damned rose.

As the phone rang.

I lost my breath. It was Eddie.

I would be lying if it hadn’t at least momentarily crossed my mind that he had become busy.

As I still misread him.

Fuck. It was almost 2:30.

He wanted to move things up, not back.

Now I lost my breath again.

Of course I said yes. Clearly my heart. But my mouth clearly cooperated. Could it ever really become my head?

Seriously, right then I knew I didn’t care. Not my body, no matter how much I loved to submit to him. But my heart.

Fuck. Was the problem with my heart, or with my brain? And there was my damned body. Way too proud, rather than foolishly sore.

Had he also known that would happen?

So much to figure out. My quiet morning to still make up for. And obviously unbeknown to him, I really had been looking forward to just looking at him.

Just talking to him.

Just touching him.

And our bodies had become like fucking magnets.

How the hell was I not sore?

Fuck. No time to overthink anything right now. I need to get moving.

Had he said it was ok not to shower?

I need to get going.

Did I remember his instructions? Just go in the door without even knocking? Had I ever done that before?

He can’t seriously have a new surprise put together already.

God I missed him.

I headed off. Trying to think if there was any way in the world I could possibly get on top of this. Get my heart and brain together?

Fuck.

I missed seeing him, even as I approached his house.

I missed his smell.

I missed his voice.

I missed his touch.

Shit. I could somehow still taste him.

As I walked up the stairs, it dawned on me that somehow I didn’t feel lustful. I didn’t feel horny.

Honestly, I felt lost.

But I knew I was only seconds away from finding myself.

I opened the door.

I even remembered he had asked me to lock it behind me.

Fuck.

Just like in the mountains.

Quiet. Except for my now pounding heart.

Almost dark.

And there he was. Opening his covers for me.

I knew I was about to disappear…

Was his smile really even bigger than mine?