For ten minutes nothing moved in the darkness except for the river. It stretched its languid body around the mountain that formed the backdrop of our farm. To get to it one had to follow a secretive path that meandered for a few hundred metres before a 5'2' ledge that looked over the broad strip of sandbank that caressed the riverside. I kicked off my shoes and socks and dug my toes into the cool, soft river sand, its ribbed surface ghostly illuminated under a full moon. I heard someone heave themselves off of the ledge behind me. The footsteps were cautious and timed and I had to wait a while before a tall form appeared at my side and sat down next to me. We both sat cross-legged and our knees touched. I straightened my legs and put my arms out behind me. The tall figure did the same. His left arm crossed with my right and our shoulders rested against one another's.

'I got a bit lost, it's not that easy finding this place in the dark,' said Hugo apologetically.

'I know, but when you've been here a thousand times at the dead of night, your sense of direction becomes ingrained in the soles of you feet and you arrive here somewhat miraculously. You don't even have to open your eyes,' I said while staring at the steadily pounding river, 'when I was younger , before I fell in love with you, before I loved you I would come out here to bury all my secrets. Whenever I was confused about something, or couldn't forgive myself for something I had done or whenever I felt alone I would come out here and the river would be my companion. It soothed me. Sometimes I would swim and let the water wash all of my troubles away.'

I chuckled lightly and looked up at Hugo. He was looking straight at me and I could feel his cool breath on my nose.

'The test results were negative,' I continued, 'All of them. I'm clean and healthy and tonight the river is mine. To cleanse myself of everything once and for all, but,' I paused and turned my whole body in his direction, 'I need you to tell me what happened six years ago. I'm ready now.'

For a few minutes Hugo merely looked out over the river, its pulsating urgency reflected in his eyes. I raised my hand to his chin and turned his head toward me. He hadn't shaved today. He began to speak.

'Do you remember the Christmas we spent together up in the cabin in the Drakensberg?'

I nodded. Hugo continued.

'My parents found out about us a few weeks before that. They thought the trip was one last weekend away with the rugby guys, so they let me go, hoping that I would soak up some testosterone. By that weekend my future had already been uprooted and redesigned by my parents. I was withdrawn from university, my bags had been packed and my passport was ready. They forced me to go and stay on my uncle's farm in the Napa Valley so that I could simultaneously learn about wine making, my family's Christian values and be away from you. They tried to cure me for fuck sake! It was only six months later that my grandfather, who owns a farm/wine estate in the Cote-d'Or region of the Burgundy in France, and who owns both my dad's and uncle's farms, proposed that I stay with him and my grandmother instead. Living with him was amazing. He taught me everything I know about winemaking today, from the soil to the vines to the grapes to all the processes involved. He helped my produce my first wine. He also taught me about love and trust, and respect and dignity, and was completely comfortable with having a gay grandson. I even told my grandparents about you, showed them pictures of us, pictures of you in the magazines. They thought you were very handsome. Jeez Alex, day after day I breathed those vineyards while night after night I dreamed about you, your skin, your scent, you lips.'

Hugo became silent again. I thought about what he had said.

'Why didn't you say anything,' is started suddenly, ' Why didn't you contact me? Do you have any idea how close we have been all these years? I lived in Paris for half of my modelling career, just a stone's throw away from your grandparent's estate!'

Hugo broke from his reverie, 'I thought you were happy, with the model you were dating. You were doing so well for yourself. I didn't want to upset that. I didn't want to risk you losing yourself again and risk never finding myself. That's what happened in France, I became independent, I learnt a new language and I found myself. It was only two and a half years later that I returned home.'

'But if you loved France so much, why did you leave?'

'My mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer so we decided it would be better for me to move closer to home. My parents and I weren't talking at the time and I wouldn't let myself work for my father on his farm, so I approached your dad who gave me a good job, for which I am forever grateful, and said that I could stay in the farm manager's house since it was empty,'

'That house has always been empty. What about your mom?' I asked.

'It took six months for the cancer to kill her, but it also brought us back together. She apologised to me, a few weeks before she passed away, for not accepting me. She told me to find you and tell you that she was wrong and that she was immensely sorry for everything. My dad accepted it too. He had to.'

'I didn't know about your mom, I'm so sorry. I wish I could have been there for you. It's funny how things don't always work out the way you plan them to.'

'Most of them work out right eventually,' he said bumping his head lightly against mine.

All of what he had been saying seeped into me too quickly and my gut wrenched with heartbreak. Tears started and soon I was sobbing.

'Why didn't you tell me all of this a long time ago, Hugo,' I pleaded and at the same time standing up and tearing my clothes off until I was completely naked. I started towards the river and immediately submerged myself into its lukewarm depths. As I came up for air, Hugo was already waist deep in the water. He dove and emerged right in front of me. We didn't say anything for a long time. I watched the water drip for his earlobes and over his chest with its slight dusting of golden brown hair between his pecs. We were in the heart of the river and the water started just below his nipples. It covered my shoulders.

'I would have forgiven you,' I said softly into his chest, while my whole body swayed in the firmness of the river's current.

'Can you forgive me now?' he asked sincerely.

'Yes,' I said as I grabbed his head with both my hands and ferociously pulled him towards me until our lips touched. He parted me with his tongue and hungrily explored my mouth. Then something happened.

Something wild and uninhibited entered us and without saying anything Hugo placed both his hands on my backside, lifted me up, spread my rosebud as much as it would stretch, and without warning, penetrated me with his huge cock. My face contorted painfully and I screamed silently into Hugo's mouth. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. Hugo filled me more completely than I had ever been filled before and the sheer pain of it shot through my entire body. Hugo's feet were planted firmly in the riverbed and his muscular legs never failed once as he thrust fast and deep into my light, slender body. After a few minutes the pain began to recede and I clung closer to Hugo's large frame. My own cock now caressed Hugo's ripped midriff and I thrust my pelvis harder into his abdomen, rubbing my cock up and down his abs. At this, Hugo stopped thrusting and with one arm separated our upper bodies. I tried to pull myself toward him but he had placed one hand firmly on my chest while the other held me in a perfect position to be thoroughly fucked. I dug my nails into Hugo's shoulders as he impaled into the depths of me. He pounded me forcefully, dominating me entirely. His thrusts became shallower and faster and we both panted uncontrollably. His arm holding me away from him slackened and I pounced at him. He gave one final push into me and moaned loudly as he ejected, stream after stream, his hot liquid essence deep inside me.

At a frantic attempt to get back at Hugo I practically climbed him until my elbows were resting on his shoulders. He held me under my thighs as I rubbed myself hard and angrily against his abdomen and chest. Hugo was like a large, flat wall and my legs were totally spread, leaving the least amount of space between our lusting bodies. My body writhed wildly over his and I pulled his head back so that I could breathe into his mouth and look into his eyes which glistened like wet stones in the moonlight. I lost control of my body. Our lips touched ever so slightly as I gasped and held my breath while I orgasmed against him. Our tongues touched and Hugo kissed me passionately while I pumped a few more loads of cum that were swept away by the river. As my orgasm dissipated I was overcome with emotion and I began crying. My body shuddered as all the troubles, sorrow and unhappiness that had built up within me over the years poured from my eyes and into the river. Hugo held me to him and my ribcage rattled against his. I struggled to breath and he kissed me neck tenderly from my right ear all the way down to my collarbone. His right hand cupped the back of my head to his shoulder while his left hand gently caressed my lower back. I wasn't sure how long I had cried for but by the time I had finished I was too exhausted to even move. I rested my head on Hugo's shoulder and my legs were locked around his waist. The air had become full of moisture after many days of blistering heat and rain clouds had suddenly assembled overhead. Thunder shook the world and rain poured powerfully in unfaltering sheets of water over the land. Hugo carried me out of the water, somehow managed to pick up our clothes and walked along the river bank until he found a less steep ledge to climb up towards the farm. Hugo carried my slight frame with immense ease, not having to readjust himself once. The rain felt good on my back and I fell asleep just before I felt Hugo veer off the path that led back to the main house.

I awoke as we entered a room not familiar to me. Hugo put me down, shuffled around in the darkness and left the rooming we had just entered. I didn't know where to move. He came back a few seconds later, closed the door behind him and put on the lights. He had a towel around his waist and another large, white, fluffy one in his hands. He put it over my head and towel dried my hair. He brought the towel down over my shoulders and lowered his head to kiss me. His lips were still slightly rough against mine and I smiled at the thought of it. Hugo smiled back at me with his green eyes and perfect teeth before continuing to dry the rest of my body.

'I take it this is your place,' I said as he started drying my thighs. He slid a towelled hand between by butt cheeks and gently pinched one of them before answering.

'Yup, this is my laundry room, obviously,' he said pointing to the washing machine and drier, 'we came through the back door.'

'Why the back door?'

'Because some of your younger cousins are camping out in my lounge for tonight.'

'Oh,' I whispered.

'So,' he finished with my legs and wrapped the towel around my waist, 'we have to be very, very quiet.'

Hugo took my hand and switched off the light. He opened the door and led me into the open plan kitchen, dining room and lounge. We tiptoed past sleeping forms into a passage, at the end of which was the master bedroom.

Hugo led me inside, closed the door behind us and switched on his bedside lamp. The room was warmly furnished with dark brown leather armchairs and darkly stained coffee table. The built in cupboards and bedside tables were of the same design and cotton curtains of beige draped one of the walls. The double bed was covered in a thick white duvet and rested against a leather headboard that matched the armchairs.

'You have good taste,' I said while moved to the bed and sat on its edge.

'Oh, thanks, but this is all your mom's doing. You should see the rest of the house. I did get to approve most things though,' he said jokingly while rummaging in his draws. He handed me a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. He was wearing a pair of tightly clad black boxers that looked amazing in the dim light.

'Just in case we get walked in on,' he said as I took the clothes and headed to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

When I was done I switched off the bathroom light and went back into the room. Hugo was already under the covers and on his side of the bed that was closest to the door. I climbed in next to him. I enjoyed the heaviness of the duvet and the warmth of Hugo's chest against my back. He switched off the lamp. I rested my tired head on his bicep while his other arm circled my torso and he placed his hand on my chest. He threaded his right led between my thighs and I pushed my whole body back against his. I had never felt more safe, secure or comfortable in my entire life and I immediately fell asleep as a warm haziness overcame me.


Dane du Toit

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