Dane's and Clare's wedding had been two weeks ago and as I moved around in the kitchen making an elaborate supper I still swayed to the song that Dane and I had danced to. The melody vibrated softly over my humming lips. It had also been two weeks since Hugo had left for France to attend his grandfather's funeral and the supper was in celebration of his arrival. Hopefully things would flow a little more smoothly now that the funeral was over and his wounds weren't still fresh. I went to the pantry to fish out some candles when I heard the front door open and something on wheels roll across the entrance floor and then become silent as, I suspected them, hitting carpet. I came out without the candles just as Hugo emerged from the passage from the bedroom. He looked satisfied yet somewhat dishevelled, maybe it was the long flight.

'Hey honey,' he said coming over to me near the oven. He pulled me into a hug and his 3 day old handsome stubble tackled my face. He kissed me lightly on the lips.

'Hey, how are you doing?'

'I'm fine. I mean I spent two weeks in France, away from the world; I had a lot of time to sort things out. I just wish you could have been there with me,'

'Yeah, I was waiting for that part. I'm glad you're feeling better. Look supper is going to be served in like two seconds, so why don't you go wash up and then come and sit down.'

'Okay, jeez I missed you,' he said kissing me deeply pushing me firmly against the kitchen counter and then retreating to wash up.

Dinner was a success. Hugo had not eaten properly on the plane and had not gotten anything after landing so he pretty much wolfed down everything I had set in front of him. After supper he showered and we settled on the sofa in front of the television. He was lying on his back, propped against the arm rest with pillows and I was between his long legs, my head rising and falling on his tummy as he breathed. I smiled at the sounds his belly was making as it worked to digest the feast he had just had.

'Alex, there is something that I need to talk to you about,'

'What is it?' I said, sitting up on my knees.

'Well, when I was in France I didn't just attend the funeral, there was a will reading too.'

I didn't say anything. I wanted him to continue on his own steam and not let my words influence him.

'I inherited my grandfather's estate, the whole thing, the ch√Ęteau, the vineyards, the business, and I want us to move there so that I can manage it.'

I couldn't speak. A million things went tearing through my mind but my sense of speech had failed me and all I could do was stare at him bleakly.

'I have to be there in a month's time to take over the intermediate managing of the estate.'

'So you made this decision already?' I asked, turning what should have sounded like a question into a statement.

'Look, I know this will be a big change but we can do it. We can start our lives anew over there, start a family there, we can be happy there,'

I started hyperventilating and gasped for breath. My eyes started watering and I felt like I was being pushed into a corner. The room started closing in on me and infinite waves of heat rushed to my head. He stopped talking and looked at me. My mouth moved again.

'I've had enough big changes, I started my life anew over here, my family is over here, I'm happy here,' I said as tears trickled slowly down my cheeks. I got up off the couch and went to bed without either of us saying another word.

****

'He wants me to move with him to France. To live on the estate and be his wife,' I said to Marianne after she had coaxed it out of me when she picked up that I was in a bad mood. She was really good at stuff like that.

'He said that?' she asked, her eyebrow raised questioningly.

'Well not those words exactly, but what else would I be? I'm finding my footing here. I've finally got a life full of hope and potential and I don't want to throw it away.'

'And he's definitely made up his mind to go and do this?'

'Yes, at least it sounded like it. I've seen pictures of this place; it's fucking gorgeous and huge and full of money. Do you have any idea what those wines sell for? More than I would like to be able to afford.'

'I for one think that you guys should talk it over, know what each other are thinking. By the sound of it you guys haven't had a good chat in a while.'

I looked at her and smiled. She smiled back warmly and squeezed my hand reassuringly.

****

That night I was lying in bed and reading The God of Small Things when Hugo finally arrived home from work. He came into the room and started removing his shoes.

'There's a plate in the oven,' I said as though it were an afterthought to a lengthy conversation and not a plea for contact with the man I loved, the man that confused me and made me happy and angry. I watched him undress out of the corner of my eye. He turned to walk into the bathroom and my eyes followed his naked body.

'I'm not hungry,' he said before nudging the door closed with his heel. I put the book down on my lap and breathed deeply. I needed to initiate a conversation, whether or not it turned into an argument I couldn't say but it was a risk I was willing to take. At least then all our cards would be on the table and we could see who the winner was, maybe we would draw.

Hugo emerged from the bathroom with a white towel wrapped around his waist and made his way to the lounge.

'Hugo,' I said before he left the room.

He turned around and looked at me waiting to hear what I was going to say.

'Please stay, we need to talk, sort this thing out,'

'You made it pretty clear the other night. You don't want to leave.'

'Yes and you do, so where does that leave us?'

'On opposite sides of the world I guess,'

'How can you say that? You are willing to break this off, willing to break me off?'

'Look Alex, it's been a long day and I'm tired and I don't know what I'm saying, so please just lay off for once okay?' he said and walked out of the room.

After about 30 seconds I got out of bed and stormed into the kitchen where Hugo was taking a beer out of the fridge.

'No, no I won't lay off for once Hugo. I want to have this conversation now. Not tomorrow, not next weekend, not in a fucking month when you aren't even here anymore,' I said forcefully.

'Alex, you are upset, go to bed.'

He placed the bottle on the island counter which separated us.

'Upset, of course I'm upset! You won't talk to me and when you finally do it's to tell me that you want to pack and move 10 000 kilometres across the globe. You wouldn't talk to me when your grandfather died and you won't talk to me now. Just tell me what's going on inside your head, PLEASE!'

'You want to know what I'm thinking,' he shouted at me, 'I'm thinking that this is my dream, and it's one that I can make come true. I loved my grandfather and he knew how much I fucking loved that place and working there and I always wished that someday it would be mine! And now it is and the person that I fucking love the most in the world in standing in the way of that!'

'You should have discussed it with me first Hugo. I am your partner and we're supposed to be in this together. Do you have any idea how painful it was to hear you tell me you were leaving in a month's time, to make such huge decision without me, without even giving me a call to tell me your plans? Did you just think that I would just give up all that I've accomplished here on your whim?'

'This is not a whim Alex! This is life, this is the next step,'

'Oh yes of course, the next step in YOUR life. Your next step to what,'

'To building a life for myself. I don't want to work under someone else my whole life. I also want bigger and better things Alex, for both of us.'

'Okay, so I'll just demolish the life I'm building for myself over here so that you...'

'CHRIST ALEX! Do you think it's easy for me to ask you to do this? Your first chance at life was terribly derailed, something I'm responsible for, I know that. And I also know how important the life you have now is to you, it's your second chance. It rips at my heart to ask you to pack up and leave it all behind because I supported you, and I encouraged you, and I loved you even more for it. But this is my first chance and I don't want to miss it and I don't want you to miss it with me,'

Hugo was flustered now and silent tears wet his face. We were both tired and we stood staring at each other for what seemed like ages.

'I can't go with you Hugo, I can't,' I finally said softly, my throat sore from the yelling and tears beginning to cascade over my hot cheeks.

Hugo came to me and put his arms around me. My face pressed against his chest and I cried into him.

'Please don't try to stop me Alex, I need this,'

'I need you,'

'You'll have me, always,'

'How? You won't be here,'

'I'll always be with you, I love you,'

'I love you,'

Hugo lifted my chin and I felt him looking deep into my soul. He hadn't looked at me like that for a while and it comforted me. He kissed my softly and then parted my lips with his tongue. I breathed him in and sucked on his tongue. He picked my up and carried me to the bedroom and put me on the bed.

I wasn't wearing much and he peeled my boxers and t-shirt off. I moved up on the bed and lay back on the pillows. Hugo crawled up and kneeled over me on all fours. He kissed my forehead, my cheeks, my ears and began working his way down my neck. I watched the hair on my arms stand up at the gentleness of his lips and how this was so different and better than what our sex life had degenerated to in the week after Hugo's grandfather's death. He moved slowly and sensually and made tiny circles with his tongue over my throat. I leaned back into the pillows and moaned. His towel had vanished and we were both naked now. His hands travelled my body, revisiting the parts that it enjoyed the most. As he licked my collarbone his fingers wrapped around my erect cock and he stroked me slowly. He moved down and took my cock in his mouth. It was warm and wet and hungry and the strength of his tongue on the underside of my shaft made me squirm. He sucked for a few minutes before pulling off and working his way over my perineum to my ass. He spread my legs as wide as they would go and lifted them up so that he could get at my hole. He kissed it as he had done with most of my body already and then began sucking on it. The suction effect made my taint tingle and a weird fluttering feeling floated through my midriff. I hadn't felt that in a while. He jabbed at me with the tip of is tongue and loosened me up.

Hugo let go of my legs and they reluctantly stayed up in the air before sinking on either side of him. He came back up and lay next to me.

'What's wrong?' I asked starting to kiss his neck, afraid that somehow the mood had been lost.

'Nothing, I want you on top this time,' he said smiling.

I was confused and looked at him with awkward grin.

'You mean you want me to fuck you?'

He began laughing and I laughed nervously too.

'No babe, I just want you to be ON top, not to be the top. I want you to be in control this time.'

'Oh, okay cool! You want me to ride you?'

'As hard as you can.'

I licked his lips and then sat on his pelvis. I reached for the lube in his bedside drawer and slicked some over his cock and some over my anus. I squatted over him. He held my legs, his hands firmly behind my knees as I straightened his pole and aligned myself with it.

'Alex babe, take it slow okay,'

'Okay,'

His cockhead touched my rosebud and I lowered myself further. After a few seconds of concentrating really hard on how painful it wasn't going to be I finally pushed myself down over his cock. I stretched around the large girth of his cock and the pain stung like a bitch. He was only about two inches in and I rested like that for a while until most of the discomfort had dissipated. I rock back and forth on him careful to not let him slip out and also not to let it go in too far too quickly. I let my knees hit the bed so that I wasn't in the squatting position but rather on my knees. Hugo placed his hand on my thighs and caressed and squeezed them lightly. I leaned forward and put my hands on his chest. He swivelled my ass a little and worked him in a little further. I was in complete control and I enjoyed the pay he paid attention to the rest of my body while I concentrated on getting him completely inside. This was what he had to go through every time he penetrated me, deciding how hard and how far and when to push in. He always made it so painless for me and I loved him even more for it. When he was almost completely in a decided to just let the rest of him in to and I slid down to the hilt of his cock in a swift second. I cried out as I felt his thick pubes tickles my taint and what felt like the tip of his poker hitting the back of my throat. I rested for a few minutes. Hugo hands found my butt cheeks and he squeezed them.

'You okay,' he asked.

'Yeah, that took a lot of concentration,'

'Well luckily the next part doesn't really,

I leaned over and plastered my sweaty body over his.

'Okay, I get it, you're tired,'

'Yeah, a little,'

Hugo grabbed my flank and suddenly he was on top again and I was under him. The familiarity of the weight of his pelvis on top of mine set me at ease and he began to grind into me. I moaned loudly as he drove his huge member into me in continuous deep strokes while licking and biting my neck and face. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pushed him further into me with my heels. I watched his strong body work over me, the veins in his neck and the deep red flush of his skin and the movement of the muscles beneath it.

After a few minutes fucking me deep and slow he once again turned us over so that I was on top. I felt much more comfortable now that he had worked me over sufficiently and I began a ferocious rocking. I reached for his hands and held them in front of me, my arms outstretched. I leaned forward to kiss him and saw the strain in his forearms. His lips were loose and I could tell that he wasn't his mind was elsewhere. He bit his bottom lip as I rode back and forth on him like a horse and I could see the tension in his physique. I slowed down a bit and he relaxed slightly. I didn't want him to come yet. He let go of my hands and I leaned backwards a bit. The feeling was extraordinary as his cock rubbed up against my prostate. He reached for my cock, lubed it up and continued to jack it off.

The sensation was incredible now as his cock and hand worked in unison to make me reach orgasm and I bucked even faster. Hugo's strokes quickened too and soon enough we were both and a state of erotic frenzy. A burning heat spread from my ass to the base of my cock and before I knew it I could feel every fibre in my body contract and explode as semen shot from my prick all over Hugo's chest. I continued riding him hard and fast knowing that he was close. I leaned forward again and lifted myself up and down over his cock squeezing it with my anal sphincters. He closed his eyes and breathed through his nose trying to keep his breathing under control. His hands grabbed and dug into my ass again as he also began rocking, bucking right up into me. He was quiet, just the sound of air escaping his nostrils filled the room. I looked into his eyes and he opened his too. He clenched and bared his teeth and with three more stabs at me rectum he gave a reverberating growl and spilled his jot cum into my guts. He pounded me for a little while longer while his cum trickled out of me and onto his balls. I fell on top of him and listened to his heartbeat. It felt as though his heart was jumping out of his chest. He put his arms around my sweaty body and just held me. He kissed the top of me head and I kissed the space in between his pecs. I straightened up and stay lying on top of him.

'I'm sorry,' he said

'Me too,' I agreed.

I finally had MY Hugo back, only to have to let him go once again.

 

Dane du Toit

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