Aidan is supposed to be over my house in 15 minutes, and I'm frantically cleaning my room right now. Why am I cleaning my room? Especially over a GUY?! none of that seemed to matter to me. The only thing that mattered was making sure that everything is as presentable as it can be. 

I hear a knock at my door and I instantly freeze. I put my things down and walked downstairs to open the door. I turn the knob and there he stood; with his grey eyes piercing through to my soul. "hey." he said smiling. The shirt he was wearing clung to his chest; defining his pecs and biceps; He was so hot....

"hey..." I bashfully reply. 

"can I come in?"

"y-yeah!" I answer. I step out of the way and he walks in as I close the door behind him. "nice place." he mentioned. "yeah... It's home...." I reply. "oh, here." he said handing me a little piece of paper. "what is this?" I asked taking it from him. "my number." he said with that warm smile that captivated me from the moment I met him. "well..." I said writing down my own number. "here's mine..." I said nervously. He took it and lifted his shirt enough to slip it into his pocket. I stole a glance at his waist and saw his black boxer brief waistband.

"so... Do your parents know I'm here?" he asked. I stop dead in my tracks; images of that night flood my mind. I remember running; hiding under my bed from that man... I was so scared. "yoo-hoo, Robbie? You ok?" he asked. "n-no... Uh... Y-yeah I... I..."

"are your parents ok?"

Uuggghh!!! Why wont those memories go away?!

"m-my parents... Were killed..." I said staring straight ahead. "oh my god... I'm-I'm so sorry.... I didn't know..." he said with regret in his voice.  "they were murdered... A man... He came into my house a-and shot my mom and dad..." I stammered; completely wide-eyed. He put his arm around me to comfort me as I start to cry uncontrollably. "hey, don't cry. Because if you start crying, I'm gonna cry, and its gonna be one giant sob-fest." he joked. I looked in his eyes as he wiped the tears off my cheeks and I did the unthinkable. I laid a kiss on his soft lips. I soon realized what I was doing and I pull away; totally Red faced. "s-sorry, I don't know why I did that. I-I guess I just got wrapped up in all the emotions a-and I... I..." he silenced me with a kiss of his own. "you talk too much, Robbie." he whispered as he plants another one on me. 

God... It feels so right kissing him....

"no." I said pulling away. "this is wrong..." I whispered. "what's so wrong with us kissing?" Aidan asked. "I-I'm not gay, but..." "but what?" he replied. "when i'm with you, I-I don't feel right. I get really nervous, I can't even look at you without losing my breath, my dick gets SUPER hard around you and it embarrasses the fuck out of me, i lose sleep dreaming about you, l...i cant think straight, it's like you... Have a spell over me." I said looking into those mysterious grey eyes. I couldn't look away from them; the deeper I stare, the more lost I become. "Robbie, it's ok to feel this way about another guy. It's completely natural. I feel that way about another boy too." Aidan said. I lifted my head in shock. "who?" I ask loudly. He smiles warmly and places his hands on my cheeks. "you." he whispers as he kisses me once again. I close my eyes and everything disappears. The noise from the street, the TV blaring in the other room, all of it just melted away; it was just me and him, and nothing else mattered. I felt his gentle touch as he laid me down and lowered himself on top of me. Our lips meeting and clinging to each other; refusing to be broken apart. With my eyes still closed, I started to relax, and I felt a hand slip under my shirt. I open my eyes to see a pair of grey ones looking at me. "it's ok... Relax..." Aidan's relaxing voice whispered. I hesitantly places my hands on his lower back, and I felt him smile. His hand traced over my abs one by one, and he pressed against my hips a little. I slipped my own hands under his shirt and traced delicately the outline of his back muscles. 

I felt him get ripped off of me and my eyes shoot open. "MARK?! what the hell are you doing here!?" I scream. "what the fuck are you doing with a fucking dude?!" he yelled back. I was at a loss for words. I had felt angry that he ripped Aidan away from me, and I don't know why. Do I think... He's my boyfriend? Aidan got back up off of the floor and walked towards the door. "Aidan--"

"I'll call you later, Robbie." he says as I beg for him not to leave. I heard the door slam shut. "are you a faggot or somethin'?" my older brother yelled. "don't call me that..." I say still watching the door. "well, are you?!" he said grabbing my shirt collar. "n-no... I... I don't know... I feel so.... Happy with Aidan...." I said as his grip tightened on my shirt. "did you suck his cock, lil' bro?" he said seeming really angry with me. "do you know what this will do to me? To my career?! No... No you don't even care about that. All you care about is getting in that faggots pants." he said referencing Aidan. "his name is Aidan...." I said growing angry myself. "I don't give a fuck! Do you know how many reporters will be asking me when they find out my own brother is a fag?!" he said hoisting me up off of the couch. "Mark... Stop...." I said trying to pry his hands off of my shirt. He let go of my shirt. "your probably just jealous..."

"oh yeah, I'm jealous of my faggot brother." he laughed.

"no, it's probably because you haven't gotten laid in 6 months, and when you walked in on Aidan and I, it must have been too much for you to handle." I said. 

"I can't believe this... How many times have you seen me buck-ass nude? Huh?! You probably got a little boner from it too." he said.

I couldn't help but get intimidated by Mark; he was a monster. He stands at 6' 1" tall and weighs around 230 Lbs of solid muscle. "why is it such a big deal if I like him? I've changed.... And I... I've been this way for a long time... It's always been there. I've been second-guessing myself for 4 years.... But if you had been here with me so I can talk about it, maybe you wouldn't have walked in on Aidan and i. But no, you had to go play 'soldier' over in Afghanistan!" I screamed. A furious look was pulled over his face and he threw a fist right at me; catching me in the eye. I fell on my ass and peered back at him with a shocked expression. I never thought that he would hit me, but I guess I spoke too soon. "don't you ever say that I wasn't around for you! Who was the one that took our sorry ass and fed you, and fought for your freedom!?! Who took you after mom and dad died?!"

"y-you..." I meekly say as His face started to soften.

"look, It was wrong to call you a fag... I-I was upset, ok? And... I don't care if you like him." he said helping me off the floor. "I guess I was just so mad because Michelle left me and--"

"wait!" I interrupt. "she left you?"

"y-yeah... I don't know what happened. I-I got a 'dear john' letter and she told me she found some pretty-boy, motorcycle-driving dude from California and left me while I was deployed." he said as he started tearing up a little. 

"I guess I was just jealous that you found love and I had lost it... I'm sorry lil' bro..." he said crying. I felt really bad about what I had said, and I walked over and pulled him into a tight hug. We stayed that way for about five minutes before my phone rang. It was Aidan. I looked at my brother and he gave me a nod and a smile.

"hello?" 

"hey, its Aidan.... I wanted to say I'm sorry for leaving like that. I guess I didn't expect someone home." he said.

"it's my fault. I should of told you about my brother. Sorry Aidan." I said with my voice full of regret. 

"well, I'd like to see you again, if it's ok. Say... After school tomorrow? Sort of like a date?" he asked with excitement. "uh... A d-date?" I choked. "yeah, like we could go somewhere for lunch or something." he suggested. "uh... Yeah! I... I'd like that!" I said with enthusiasm. 

"so, I'll see you tomorrow, then?" Aidan asked. 

"see you then." I said as he hung up the phone.

God, That feels.... good!

 

Josh Volland

[email protected]

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