Walmart Pickup

My mother told me I could come home for two weeks at the end of the semester; she said my dad was away on business. You see, during spring break, I came out. Things didn't go as planned. I was kicked out, and my funding was cut off. School was paid to the end of the year, but after that, I had no place to live and no future prospects. One year of college doesn’t make one employable. My campus job wouldn’t pay the bills, and student affairs told me that until I was out of my parent’s house for a year, I wouldn’t qualify for the grant that would pay 90% of my tuition, fees, and housing.

So I took my mother up on her offer while I scoped things out, and that’s how I ended up in Walmart pickup station three. It was a warm evening, so I was surprised that the boy bringing the cart to the car had on a hoodie. His long hair was in his eyes and covered part of his face. His limp also surprised me. With all the heavy lifting he must have to do, it didn’t seem like the best fit.

As he approached me, he called, “Carol Everett?”

“Yeah,” I called back, “Picking up for my mom.”

“There are no substitutions. Sign here, please.”

That’s when I noticed his eyes. “Eric? Eric Brady?”

He said nothing for several seconds. “Yeah, it’s me, Ryan.”

“I didn’t know you were back.” I followed him to the trunk and helped him load the groceries. “What happened? You just disappeared one day, and no one knew where you were.”

“You mean people noticed I was gone?” Eric answered. He pulled his hoodie forward.

“Of course they noticed. I noticed.” I tried to emphasize the ‘I’ in that sentence. Eric was a senior when he disappeared. I was a junior. Our high school wasn’t that big, and we’d had several classes together. I tried to be subtle in my flirting, I didn’t want anyone to know how much I liked Eric. I guess I was too subtle. My fantasy was that he’d ask me to the prom. I knew he wouldn’t because it would have been like the villagers chasing Frankenstein’s monster to the old windmill. Only these villagers would have insisted on seeing our dead bodies.

“That’s nice of you to say.” His tone was emotionless.

We finished loading the car. “I want to get together with you. I don’t know, lunch, dinner, something.”

“OK.” He stacked the blue crates.

“What time do you get off?” I asked.

“I’ve got about thirty minutes left, why?”

“I’ll drop this off at my mom’s and come back for you, or I can meet you somewhere.”

He turned and looked at me. The parking lot lights caught his eyes, his beautiful blue eyes. How many nights had I pictured those eyes while I pleasured myself? How many times had they kept me from going home with the wrong man while I was at school? Were they the reason I was still a virgin?

“So, you really want to get together?”

“Pick you up in thirty,” I smiled.

“I’ll be up in the front, by the grocery entrance.”

“OK.” I watched as he walked off. That limp was pretty severe. I got in the car and drove off. I caught myself singing. I never sing in the car. I don’t really sing anywhere, not since high school choir.

I hurried home, unloaded the car in record time, and got into my disaster of a car to drive back to Walmart. The Chevy Impala that I drove had great gas mileage, but my grandfather had trashed it as his work car. He didn’t take care of the interior at all, but he certainly took care of the engine. It purred when it ran, and I routinely got close to thirty miles per gallon with it. The car was given to me when my grandfather died. I hoped Eric wouldn’t be disgusted by it.

He wasn’t standing in the front when I arrived, so I parked in a fairly close spot where I could watch the door. I was singing Ronnie Milsap’s ‘What a Difference You’ve Made in My Life’ when the words of the song caused a painful pang in my heart. I wondered if I was being silly by trying to connect with Eric. He had never shown me any interest. I’m sure we’ll talk a bit and find that we’ve nothing in common. I should be spending my time looking for a place to live and getting a job.

I saw him hobble from the automatic exit doors. From a distance, his hair seemed really long as it stuck out from his hoodie. Remember, I said to myself. You’re not in high school, and he’s probably changed. Possibly a lot.

I got out of my car and walked over to him. He saw me and began walking toward me. “You’re here,” he said.

“In the flesh. Do you need to take your car home first?”

“Don’t have one.”

“Well, mine’s right there.” I pointed to the brown Impala.

“The other car was your mom’s?”

“Yeah. Disappointed?”

“No. This is better. It would seem weird for you to drive such an expensive car when you’re just out of high school.”

I opened the door, and he got in. I closed the door and went to the other side. I got in and started the car.

I said, ‘Eric’ at the same time he said, ‘Ryan.’

“Go ahead,” I told him.

“I’ve been thinking since I saw you earlier, and I decided that I am going to be completely open about what happened to me.” He turned to face me. Even in the dimly lit car, I could see some of the Eric I knew from high school.

“I appreciate that, Eric. I’m going to be completely honest with you as well. So, with that, my mother gave me forty dollars for food when I told her I was meeting a good friend from high school. Where would you like to go?”

“You think of me as a good friend?”

“Yeah.” It wasn’t a complete lie; I just wasn’t disclosing the entire truth. I’d tell him that part later.

“Can we go to the chicken place? I’d love a couple of tenders.”

I drove the few blocks to the restaurant named ‘The Chicken Place.’ There was a drive-thru, and I ordered a family box of tenders. Eric only wanted water, so I got water as well. I drove to a secluded part of the parking lot and handed him a disinfecting towelette. I used one myself. He hadn’t said anything since we drove away from Walmart, but I noticed how he seemed to fidget.

“Are you afraid to tell me what happened?” I asked him.

“Sort of. It’s not easy, and I’m worried that you’ll think less of me.”

“You don’t need to worry.” I put my hand on his arm.

I heard him take a deep breath. “The week before Spring Break, senior year, well, I guess it was my senior year. I got on Grindr. On Friday, I set up a meeting with a guy named Chad. He was your height and size, and he looked a little bit like you, and the next day I drove to near Pearland close to the Hobby airport. Chad was sitting in a truck in the parking lot and he suggested that we take a walk and talk.

“I was really nervous. I was meeting him for sex. I knew that, but I wasn’t expecting what happened. Two of his buddies were hiding, and the three of them beat the shit out of me. They stabbed me fifty-seven times; they stomped on me and crushed my hip and my knee. If this guy named Steve hadn’t seen the guys trying to hide and called the police, they’d have killed me.”

I was in shock. It’s difficult to believe that things like that happen. I began to cry. Eric, who was only looking to connect with someone who understood what he wanted, what he needed, had been so horribly traumatized. I didn’t know what to say. I was shaking my head in disbelief.

“You know, neither my mother nor my father cried for me. My father told me that I had gone looking for trouble and had found it. His insurance paid for my recovery, but he made it clear that I wasn’t welcomed back home.”

I continued to sob. “I’m so sorry.” My bottom lip had begun to quiver.

“It took me a long time to get to this point. I was lucky that the police arrived so quickly and got me to the hospital. Sometimes, I wonder if it had been better if I hadn’t made it.”

“No. No. Don’t say that. I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Are you? No one’s said that to me, Ryan. No one, not ever.” Eric looked away from me.

“Well, I’m glad you’re here. I wish I’d told you how I felt about you in high school.”

“I always knew you looked up to me. You told me once you wished you could be more like me. But that was because I played baseball better than you did.”

“That’s not all of it. I knew I was gay because of you. And I would fantasize that you would be my boyfriend, but I couldn’t tell you because of the way this town is. The way these people aren’t happy unless they’re making someone else miserable. If only I’d said something to you.”

“This isn’t your fault, Ryan. Don’t think that for a minute.”

I stared straight ahead into the darkness. “Do you see that?”

“What?”

“The black void of nothingness. That’s my future unless I do something to change it.”

“Why’s that? No one else believes that. You’ve always had a lot of potential.”

“I came out to my parents this spring. I’ve lost my college money. I lost a place to live in. I’m only there right now because my dad is out of town, and my mom feels guilty about the whole thing.” I turned to Eric. “Do you want to run away with me? Figure this out together?”

“Maybe we should figure it out before we run away. Don’t you think, Ryan?”

“Yeah. I’m going to lose my place to stay in a few days. Where are you staying? On some blankets in an old tool shed. My cousin is hiding me there. Her father doesn’t know that I am staying there.”

“You should spend the night at my house. I sure we can sneak you in. You can get a shower and sleep on one of my twin beds. Maybe we can sleep in my car after that. We can go to South Texas when it gets colder.”

“That’s an option. It’s actually nicer than the tool shed.”

“Eric, I’ll be able to go back to school in a year on a homeless grant. Maybe you can, too. Do you still want to be a lawyer?”

“You remember that?” I heard Eric laugh for the first time.

“Hell, yes, I remember that. You wanted to be a contract lawyer working for the small business association helping people who were trying to start up a business.”

“And you wanted to be a biology teacher, marine biology, at the university level.”

“Yeah. Still do.”

Eric held my hand. “Are we going to be like Hermie and Rudolph? Let’s be independent together?”

“Right now, I want us to be dependent on each other. And, I’m not into bestiality, and I am into you.”

“Ryan, you keep saying the nicest things to me.”

I started the car. “Do you work tomorrow?”

“No. I only work three days a week and for six hours each time.”

“I’m going to need a job. Do you want to pick up anything for your housing unit?”

“Not if you’ll loan me a t-shirt and some gym shorts.”

“Of course I will.”

We drove to my parents’ home in silence. I parked in my usual place. The house was dark. “My room is in the basement.” We stopped at the door, and I opened it very slowly. Listening, I heard no sounds, and I turned to whisper that the stairs down were straight ahead. Eric still wore his hoodie, and he had his fingers to his lips. I gently pulled his finger away and brushed my lips against his. I could tell that he smiled in response.

We made it down to my room without drawing any attention. I locked the door behind me and clicked on the lights. My packed suitcase sat on a chair with my passport on the top.

Eric pointed to the passport. “Looks like you’re planning to go somewhere.”

“I think I am,” I said. “I just reconnected with a wonderful man, and we are about to embark on a trip into our futures.” I took another look into those blue eyes. Eric’s hand moved up to my face, and he touched my cheek with the back of his hand. His face seemed sad. “What is it, Eric?”

“I just thought about the time we’ve lost because I didn’t have the balls to say something to you.”

“You know what? I’m thinking about the time we’ve got ahead of us because you agreed to meet me after work. I want to take a shower; do you want to join me?”

“I’m afraid you won’t like what you see.”

“You’ve been afraid in the past to let me know things, and I’m here with you.”

“I was afraid to tell you how I felt, and now you know. You’re with me now. I pledge to you now that I won’t ever be afraid to tell you or show you anything.”

I could see him start to tremble.

“Are you wearing your hair like this to cover a scar?”

He nodded. His eyes filled with tears.

“You are still the Eric I fell in love with in high school. I can tell.”

He continued to tremble.

“Strong. Gentle. Caring. And those beautiful eyes. So fucking sexy.”

His hands moved to his hoodie; they were still trembling. He slid the hood from his head. His hair reached below his shoulders and disappeared underneath the rest of the jacket. He looked up at me.

I reached forward and pushed the hair from his eyes and back toward the top of his head. A double scar ran across his forehead. One ran down toward his cheek.

“It’s Frankenstein’s monster, isn’t it?”

“No. It’s just a white-colored line. There are two on your forehead; one is lighter than the other. I can see one that goes toward your cheek.”

Eric stepped back and violently pulled the jacket over his head. His t-shirt came with it. He bent over and pulled his pants off; he had kicked off his shoes earlier. He stood naked before me. The scar that ran next to his cheek was short dashes, as though made with several stabs. I touched it with my fingers and pushed his hair back behind his ear.

His neck, chest, and abs told the story of a violently brutal attack of numerous stabs and slashes. He still had the athletic, muscular look of several years before. I still found him attractive. “Despite the horrors that they heaped on you, Eric, your body still excites me.”

“And this?” he said angrily as he turned around.

I began to sob at the sight of his back. They had hacked and sliced and stabbed him. “Oh, baby, those bastards; how could they? I want to hurt them for how they hurt you.”

Anger and emotion seemed to drain away from Eric. “My back is hideous, isn’t it.”

“Yes.” I wasn’t sure what else to say.

“But when you look at my face and front…”

“I see Eric from high school, except this one needs a haircut.”

Eric smiled at me, and I knew that this was our moment. I slid out of my clothing.

“Are you going to show me your scars now?”

“No, I said as I stepped out of my pants. I noticed that he started to get hard. “There’s only been one person that I’ve wanted to be with. His face would pop up in my mind any time someone hit on me in college.” I wrapped my fingers around his dick, pulled him to me, and kissed him. I felt his cock swell in my hand. “You’ll be my first,” I told him.

“I’ve never done this.”

“Eric, you’re a natural with a bat. I’ve told you. You’re handsome, athletic, built, sexy.” I led him to my bed by using his dick as a leash. I got on my back. I let go of his cock and used saliva to lube my ass. Eric lubed his cock with his spit. I grabbed my ass cheeks and pulled them apart. “Fuck me, Eric.”

With his knees next to my butt, Eric pushed the head of his dick into me. A sharp jab was followed by a sense of dizziness.

“All the way Eric.” He pushed in. More dizziness and a sensation that made it difficult for me to focus. He pulled out and pushed in. I had always heard that the first time would hurt like hell, but I had a sense of floating. I also wanted to grab my dick and jerk it, but Eric kept pushing my hand away.

“I need to jerk it.”

“No Ryan, I’m the only one who can touch it.”

“Jack it for me, then.”

But he only started to fuck me even faster. All of a sudden, my dick tensed and I shot a load that landed everywhere. Eric began to bang me so hard that I heard his balls slap against my ass. Then he was trying to push himself farther inside me. The awesome feeling continued, and when I looked at him, I could tell he was coming inside me. He stopped moving; his cock was as far in me as it could go. He looked down at me. I stared back at him. His hair covered part of his face. Our breathing slowed.

Finally, he said, “That was great. Probably the best sex I’ve ever had.”

“Yeah? Well, you still need a hair-cut.”

We burst out laughing.

A pounding on my door caused us to instantly stop. “What the fuck is going on in there?” It was my father’s voice.