Used like a slut

I had always felt different from the other guys in the tough, working class neighborhood I grew up in. They were strong, masculine and I was skinny and slightly effeminate. In high school I began hanging out with a punk girl named Charity and a few of her friends and quickly adapted that look. I usually wore tight jeans, boots, leather jacket and dyed my shaggy hair black. I even occasionally wore Charity's skirts and stockings out to concerts, although never to school. 

Of course this didn't go over well with the other guys. In this neighborhood if a guy wasn't masculine, he was a "bitch" a "sissy" or a "queen." 

The neighborhood was full of older guys who had been in prison. They taught us that taking it up the ass or sucking cock was giving up your manhood. It was sort of ok to "pitch" but never to "catch." 

Of course I knew I wanted to "catch." My desires started when I was about fourteen and had stumbled across my uncles stash of dirty magazines. One of them had pictures of a blonde dressed in stockings and heels getting fucked by two guys. I found myself not wanting to fuck her, I wanted to be her. I didn't literally want to be a girl, but often began thinking about dressing hot and getting fucked. And when I was sixteen a friends brother fucked me. He had me wear panties so I would look like a girl and he used hand lotion for lube. It didn't feel good and hurt like crazy. But something about it hurting really turned me on. I really liked the way he looked at me afterwards as if I as a conquest. When I saw him later he gave me that look again, and I felt like his bitch. He had took my manhood as they said. He joked about me along with the other guys but continued to use me for sex. By the time I graduated high school I had kind of became a slut, often going off with guys to suck them or let them fuck me. Most of them continued to bully me in public, but sure liked using me in private. I didn't mind this and it felt kind of hot. I was already a masochist, although I had no idea what the word meant at the time. 

The summer after graduating I turned eighteen. I was glad to be out of school and away from the bullies, and now that I was eighteen I could get into some of the punk clubs. I was free to be myself in those places, and could look however I wanted.

One night I left a club and was walking home when I heard a car pull up beside me. I became nervous as it was a rough neighborhood and I was wearing short shorts and fishnet stockings. 

"Hey faggot! Where you going?" I heard the driver yell. I turned around and my heart raced when I saw who it was.

It was Troy, a guy from school. Troy had been one of the worst bullies, and had even smacked me around a few times. He was a football star and there was no way I could fight him off. I looked around the street for something I could use as a weapon but found nothing. So I just stood there helplessly as he got out of his car and approached me. 

"Need a ride?" He asked.

"No thanks." I replied and tried to turn to leave. But he cornered me against the building. I felt myself shaking having no idea what he was going to do. 

"I'll give you a ride." He slurred drunkenly. 

"No." I responded. I looked around hoping someone would show up. But the street was deserted. 

"I have a question." He slurred. "Why do you wear girls clothes? Because you like getting fucked up the ass?" 

I felt my face flush as I desperately tried to find a way out of this. His face was now a few inches from mine and he stared me straight in the eye. 

"I've always wanted to try butt fucking." He slurred. "I'll bet it's real tight." 

I didn't know what to say. I just shrugged. I couldn't deny anything. Everyone knew. 

"So are you going to let me try it?" He asked with a lewd, drunken smile.

"Yeah, ok." I said. I didn't see any way out of this, and at least he wasn't hitting me. 

I climbed in and we drove to the river where he found an isolated spot and parked his car. We got out and he dropped his pants. 

"Suck it first." He demanded. I put his cock in my mouth and began sucking it. He did have a big cock and I didn't really mind sucking it. 

"Oh fuck yes faggot." He groaned. "That feels good. You're a good cocksucker aren't you?" As he talked dirty to me I began to really like it. I'll bet he's never had a blowjob like this before I thought proudly. After I sucked him awhile he told me he was ready to fuck me. 

I took my bottle of KY jelly out of my pocket. I had begun carrying it with me as I learned good lube made anal hurt less. I squirted some on my finger and stuck it in me and put some on his cock. Then I dropped my shorts and bent over his car. He got close behind me and fumbled around trying to jam his cock in my tight ass. I bit my arm as he finally burst through and quickly rammed it deep in me. 

"Oh FUCK!" he exclaimed. "That is fucking tight! Shit! That feels so good!" 

It didn't feel to good to me. He just rammed it in and out with hard thrusts as I bit into my arm trying not to scream. The other guys had been aggressive but nothing like this. His strong hands squeezed my hips holding me in place as he pounded away. He was lasting much longer than most guys and I began wondering if he was ever going to cum. He had found a rythem and he fucked me for what felt like an hour. 

"I'm gonna cum!" He finally grunted and after a few more brutal thrusts he filled me with his sperm and pulled out of me. He quickly pulled his pants up after he came and looked a bit embarrassed. 

"Don't fucking ever tell anyone about this." He warned. 

"I won't." I replied.

With that he fired up his car and took off leaving me there. 

He fucked me and didn't even give me a ride afterwards I thought to myself. Wow. 

I began the long walk back. I could feel his sticky cum leaking from my destroyed ass. I felt like a mess. 

I felt completely used. Then left by the river. 

I didn't mind though. I kind of liked it.