Too scared to be gay

Husband of a devoted women, father of a daughter and a son, successful accountant, Ryan seemed to be happily married for over thirty years. The fact is that he had always hidden his true identity, denying his attraction to guys since high school, then to work colleagues whom he watched at distance in the shower area of his fitness center. He had brushed aside any hint of homosexuality, convinced that it was just a phase, bound to disappear if he didn’t pay attention to what looked like weird sexual desires.

On the contrary, at 56, Ryan was more and more haunted by what he called “man-to-man pleasure”, a catch phrase that included sucking a cock and getting fucked, not to mention rimming, golden shower, sadomasochism, bondage, all sexual acts that he had only witnessed on gay porn videos that he watched in the basement when his wife was away. One night, when he typed “man looking for man over 50”, Google invited him to consult a gay dating site called Salt & Pepper Daddies.

Ryan was surprised to find out that thousands of men over 50 were looking for sex partners, occasional dates, regular “friends with benefits”, even long-term relationship with Mr. Right. He registered and indicated his age (56), his height (5’9”), his weight (154 lbs), his sexual preference (oral versatile), his preference (sex partners and friends), and the age range (from 55 to 70). Under the heading Profile text, he just wrote a brief message: “Looking for regular get together.”

The search was launched. Ryan spent a whole week reading various profiles, looking at shots of hard cut and uncut dicks, hungry ass holes, and home-made videos of men jerking off or fucking each other. He was attracted to Barry’s profile who described himself as a professional writer, a former arts council manager, a romantic guy looking for a man with whom he can first have a conversation, then cuddle, hug and kiss. Barry also mentioned how he enjoys oral sex, using his tongue in every way possible, adding a note on his fetish for jockstraps and tight faded blue jeans. His profile text concluded that the smell of a clean but sweaty ass is the best perfume.

Ryan immediately wrote the following message: “Kind of new to this world, saw your profile and something told me to send a quick hello.” He received a reply within twelve hours: “Hello and thank you for your message. You have exactly the age I’m looking for and we share the same goal: a regular get together partner. On top of that we both like oral man-to-man pleasure. I would have liked to see a photo, but can understand that you first want to exchange and get to know we better. Your height and weight are nicely proportionate. I imagine a friendly guy who wants to have virile fun, and I’m interested to learn more about you.”

After a few exchanges where Ryan indicated that he was open to basic vanilla stuff as a starter, and where Barry confirmed that he would be discreet, respecting Ryan’s privacy, they decided to correspond by email. Barry sent pictures of himself from age 14 to 66, shared some hard-core stories he had published on a Swedish gay porn site, and even forwarded examples of homoerotic paintings by Japanese artist Ben Kimura. Ryan was amazed and excited, a proof that having homosexual desires was not just a phase. “I know it’s time and I want to experience things with you, he wrote. I am a bit nervous, it’s a big step for me. No one knows the real me, I think some would be shocked to know I am writing this email, let alone wanting to do much more.”

Even though Ryan promised to send a face pic, he got scared. Sharing this kind of personal info was a too big step for him. However, a photo of his dick and hairy bush was ok. Barry’s reply was immediate and wild: “Fuck! We have identical medium size cocks, cut and nice pink mushroom, getting horny just looking at what I will chew and suck. I sense that you’re getting relaxed and ready to let your juices flow naturally. Man-to-man pleasure can be so tasty.” The email exchanges multiplied, at least three a week, and Barry took this opportunity to reaffirm his wild appetite for ass eating. He explained how he madly loves to caress, kiss, and fun-slap his partner’s behind, then bury his face in the crack, lick and tickle it with his short beard, reach the rose bud, suck it, and most of all tongue twist his way inside a fucking satanic haven.

“I’m not sure if you are ready for hot rimming, I will respect your pace in experiencing man-to-man pleasure. If you prefer that we just kiss and suck each other’s balls and cock, there is no problem. I am here to accompany you in the way you feel most comfortable. I can however assure you that ass play can be pretty hot. I’m getting excited just writing this, if you know what I mean…” Ryan knew exactly what Barry meant; his new pen pal had a talent for describing a particular man-to-man pleasure, one that Ryan wanted so much to experience. He thanked him for the link to “8 Muscle Guys Rimming Orgy”, the hottest anilingus video he had ever seen.

Barry is an ass eater who enjoys “tossing the salad” when his partner is wearing a jockstrap. He found a picture of three guys in different jock fabric: traditional white Bike athletic cloth, black leather gear, and see-through mesh. He enlarged it (3 by 4 feet), framed it and hung the erotic picture at the foot of his bed, a perfect stimulus for solo masturbation. He also found pics of bulging jockstraps that he sent to Ryan. No reaction. A second and a third email received no reply. Intrigued, Barry logged in on the Salt & Pepper Daddies dating site to find out that Ryan had removed his profile page. “Fuck, I’m losing my time with this guy in the closet!”

Two weeks later, Barry received an email from Ryan: “First and foremost, let me apologize. I got scared, and instead of talking to you, I ran off, killed my email and thought I could let my feelings pass... It didn’t work. All I can think about is you, taking that step of man-to-man sex, tasting you, 69, and having you eat my ass, driving me wild. I thought I could fight this off, pretend to be straight and not want you. I can’t. If you are at all interested in converting me, and take me where I’ve never been but need to be, let me know. If not, I understand.”

Barry sent a polite message indicating that he was still interested, but under the condition that he receive a face pic immediately and a date for a first meeting within the next week. There was no reply. The page was turned.