Timmy

Dear Reader,

"Timmy" came to me in run-on sentences and without benefit of quotation marks. Since I wrote it only for my own pleasure I left it that way. But now, to make it easier for an audience that I hope will be larger than one, I have added quotation marks, but I have left the run-on sentences to be at least half true to the original. So, with apologies to grammar purists and others who may object, I give you "Timmy" in its latest incarnation.

Timmy - Part One

I remember the first dirty picture I ever saved. Actually, it wasn't dirty. It was from an ad in a magazine. I don't remember what it was selling, but I remember the picture. It showed a boy getting out of a tub of water. It was old timey, like maybe wild west times or something. The tub was round and metal and it was sitting in a room that wasn't a bathroom. Anyway, this kid - he was about my age, ten or eleven - was standing facing away. All I could see his back and butt and the backs of his legs. He was tall and kind of thin. I wished I could see his face but it didn't really matter; I knew he was pretty. There was this lady, his mother I guess, and she was handing him a towel to dry himself. The first time I looked at that picture I got a tight feeling in my throat. Every time I looked at it was like the first time.

You see what I mean when I say the picture wasn't really dirty, but I thought I might get in trouble if Mom or anyone ever saw it so I hid it in my Bible.

My grandma lived with us then. She was real old and had something wrong with her eyes. Sometimes she would ask me to read the Bible to her. It was kind of hard with all those dumb names and all.

This one time when I was getting ready to read to her my picture fell out. It landed face up on the floor. Grandma saw it and said, "What's that?" and I said, "Nuthin'" and she said, "Let me see," but I picked it up real quick. She looked at me real stern-like and said, "Timmy," but I just put the picture back in my Bible. I didn't want that to ever happen again so I put the picture in an envelope and then I hid the envelope on my closet shelf. Grandma never mentioned it again.

With Mom it was different.

A couple of years later, after Grandma died and all, Mom found my stash on my closet shelf. I had lots of pictures by then. Some showed men wearing nothing but a jock strap or underwear but in most they didn't wear anything at all. A few pictures were really dirty: one man sucking another man's dick or fucking another man up the ass, but some were just pretty like the first one I already told you about. Anyway, Mom found them one day and when I came home from school she showed them to me and said, "What's the meaning of this?" I didn't know what to say and she said, "Wait until your father hears about this." That scared me and I said, "No, Mom, don't tell him. He'll get mad at me again," and she said, "You shoulda thought of that before."

Well, I won't tell you everything that happened. I was right, though. He was mad, all right. Real mad. After he yelled at me and hit me a couple of times he told me I disgusted him and he never wanted to see me again. He told me to pack my things and get out. That was hard.

I didn't know what to do or where to go. I slept in the field behind our house that night and went to school the next day and did that for a few days but it didn't work out so well. I was eighteen and should have already graduated from high school, but that was never gonna happen. Actually, I was eighteen and a half and still in eleventh grade. School was hard for me. When some of the kids found out about my being kicked out of the house and all they made fun of me worse than ever. Also, I was running out of money so I decided to leave town for good.

"Carl"

I had heard that some people like me went to New York where there were jobs and all so that's where I decided to go. I knew the right road to take and how to hitch a ride so I started walking.

Almost right away this guy in white Camry pulled over to give me a ride. He was kind of old, more than thirty I bet, and kind of heavy. Actually, he was fat. "Where ya goin'?" he asked and I said, "New York," but I didn't tell him why. He said, "Get in," so I did. We talked for a while. He said his name was Carl. He told me about his wife and kids and asked me if I had a girlfriend and I said, "No." "A good lookin' kid like you," he said. "Why not?" and I said, "I dunno." We didn't talk for a while after that.

Carl was nice enough. After a couple of hours he said, "I'm hungry. How about you?" I was really hungry but I didn't have much money so all I said was, "I guess." He pulled into the parking lot of a diner and said, "How about here?" I wasn't sure what to expect but I was hoping. He said, "Let's go," so we went in.

This guy a little older than I am was behind a counter. He said, "Will that be two for dinner tonight?" and Carl said, "Yes," and the guy said, "Follow me, please," and he led us to a booth near the back of the diner. I looked around. It seemed all the waiters were young and really good looking. One of them came up to our booth and said, "My name is Brian. I'll be your server tonight. Can I get you something to drink?" and Carl said, "Just water." After a while Brian brought two glasses of water and I thought, "I could do this." I never saw lemon in a glass of water before.

Carl told me to get whatever I wanted, that it was his treat, but I waited until I heard him tell Brian what he was going to have and then I said, "Me, too." We talked some more. Carl said, "I don't mean to be personal but when was the last time you had a shower?" and I said, "I dunno," and he said, "Some time I bet," and I said, "I guess."

Then he said he was tired and did I want to go to a motel with him. I knew what that meant. Well, actually, I didn't know, but I'd heard stories. I had to think about this. It had been almost a week since I'd slept in a bed and I liked Carl all right so when I was done thinking I said, "OK." He smiled then and reached under the table and patted my knee.

Carl paid for our dinners and drove to a motel a little further down the road. He told me to wait in the car while he registered so I did. When we got to our room Carl opened the door and stood back so I could go in first. He turned on the TV and we looked around a little. There was only one bed but it was real big; king size, I guess. Or maybe queen. It doesn't matter. Anyway, Carl said, "Mind if I shower first?" and I said, "No," so he did. When he finished he came into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his belly and said, "You're next," so I said, "OK."

When I was done with my shower I pulled the curtain back and there was Carl standing right in the bathroom. He still had the towel around his middle and another in his hands and he started to dry me off like I was a little kid and didn't know how to do it myself. Remember the picture I told you about? My first one? This reminded me a little bit of that picture only it was Carl with a towel instead of a pretty lady and I was older now and bigger than the boy in the picture.

Carl said, "Step out of the tub," so I did. Then he sat on the seat of the can and told me to stand in front of him so I did that too. He dried my hair and face and while he was drying my chest he said, "Very nice." When he got a little lower he told me to spread my legs so I did. He dried between my legs and I got an instant hard-on. "Very nice," he said again. He turned me around and dried my back and butt. I think he really liked that: He kept saying, "Very nice." After he dried my crack more than it needed he touched my butt real soft-like with his hands.

Carl went into the bedroom and I followed him. He faced me and dropped the towel that was around his waist. Like I told you before, he was fat. His chest and stomach were hairy; and he already had a hard-on. He didn't try to hide it which didn't surprise me any. Well, actually, it did surprise me until I remembered the stories I'd heard. He pulled the covers to the foot of the bed and laid down. "I won't bite," he said so I got on the bed too.

Here we were; two naked guys on the same bed with hard-ons. I didn't know what to expect but I expected something. Carl moved close to me until his body was touching mine. I was on my back kind of looking up at the ceiling but he was on his side looking at me. He put his arm over my chest and pushed his hard-on against the side of my hip. He moaned - kind of purred like - and touched my body all over with his hand. He raised up a little and looked me in the eyes and I looked back. He moved his face toward mine like he was going to kiss me on the lips. I thought that would be weird. No man had ever kissed me before and I didn't want him to do it either so I turned my head away. He just started to kiss me other places. I closed my eyes then. I thought it was kinda funny when he kissed and licked me in certain places, but to tell the truth, it felt pretty good. When he got low enough he put my peter in his mouth which I knew he would. I mean, this guy Larry back home talked more than he needed to about being sucked off so I knew all about cock sucking. Well, not everything.

Carl sucked me and I got real hard and he sucked me some more. After a while I felt this feeling in my gut and especially in my cock which was better than the feeling I get when I jack off. I started to move my hips up and down, just a little, and I couldn't help moaning. Not long after that I came. I thought he'd stop sucking me then but he didn't; he kept sucking while I spurted and he swallowed all my cum. Now I knew why Larry talked so much about getting blow jobs.

I thought that was all, but Carl had other ideas. He rolled me onto my stomach and rubbed my back. Well, actually, he mostly rubbed my butt. He pressed his fingers into my crack and touched my hole. That felt OK. Actually, it was better than just OK, but I was kind of worried. I figured that he wanted to fuck me in the ass and I didn't know about that. I mean, I almost always thought about someone fucking me when I jacked off and sometimes I even stuck things up there to see how it would feel; but now, when it seemed like it was going to happen for real, I just didn't know.

Carl said, "Spread your legs," so I did, but only a little. He said, "Wider," and when I did that he got between them. He dribbled spit on my crack and onto his cock. Then he got over me. He pulled the sheet over us like he was afraid someone was going to see. He put the head of his cock against my hole and pushed. I was kind of worried so I tried to get out from under him and he said, "That's right. Squirm that pretty little boy butt," so I stopped. He pressed and pressed and I said, "That hurts," and he said, "Only a little. Right?" and I said, "No. A lot." He said, "This will help," and he spread his precum in my crack and around my hole with the head of his cock. That made my hole slippery and when he pushed again his cock slipped in. I don't know if 'slipped in' is the right way to put it. That makes it sound like it was easy, but it wasn't easy for me. He put his arms around me and stopped pushing. I thought maybe he was going to pull out but he didn't. He just kept it there; his cock head just inside my hole. After a little while he pushed some more and it went in deeper. I said, "That hurts," and he said, "Just relax." I tried to relax but it didn't work. He pushed in more and more until he was the whole way in. I wanted to cry out but mostly I wanted him to take his cock out of there, but then he stopped moving and it started to stop hurting so much. Does that make sense?

He said, "You are so beautiful. You are such a hot boy," and he started these little pushing motions against my butt. It wasn't enough to move his cock in and out of me but I think it was fucking anyway. "How's that?" he asked and I said, "OK," but I still wasn't sure. He kept pushing with those little movements, but each one got bigger and bigger until he was fucking me for real with his cock sliding in and out of me. His mouth was beside my ear. His breath was hot and he was making these low moaning noises. "You have such a great ass," he said. "I love fucking your hot boy ass."

This is what surprised me. At first it hurt, like I already told you. Actually, it hurt the whole time he fucked me, but after a while it felt kind of good too. I guess that sounds weird, but this will sound even more weird, and I can't explain why, but I was glad he was doing what he was doing. It was like I was learning something; like, now I knew. It didn't take him long. He soon stopped his fucking motions and pushed hard against my butt. He said, "I'm gonna come. I'm coming," and something made me know that that was true. I mean, he kept trying to push his cock as far up my butt as it could go and I could feel it kind of pulse deep inside me each time he pushed. That's how I knew.

When he was finished fucking me he rolled us over onto our sides. He had his arms around me and he kept his cock up inside me. He took a deep breath. "That was great," he said. "You are a beautiful boy and a great fuck. Did you know that?" and I said, "No." After a while he pulled his cock out of me or maybe it just got soft and slipped out and he said, "Do you want to go to the bathroom?" and I said, "Why?" and he said, "No, huh?" and I said, "No." He reached over me and turned out the light and then pulled me against him. The first thing I noticed was how soft his big belly was and how warm, and the second was that I could feel him relax.

I didn't think I could sleep after what just happened and all but after a while I did.

The next morning Carl woke me up by poking around my butt hole with the head of cock. It was hard again and so was mine. He rolled me onto my stomach and pressed against my hole. It was getting slippery from his precum again and when I lifted my butt off the mattress a little it went right in. He fucked me again pretty much like he did the night before but it lasted longer. It didn't hurt as much as it did the first time he did this. I guess I was getting used to it already. I noticed that my cock was really hard against the mattress. I moved my butt so I could feel Carl's cock in me in more places than just one and he said, "Squirm that hot boy ass for me." Sometimes when he hit just the right spot I made these high moan-like noises. Carl said, "You like my man cock up your pretty boy pussy, don't you?" and other stuff like that, but he was right and I moaned some more. I couldn't help it. Carl's moan was lower than mine and it got louder when he shot his load in me. He rolled us over on our sides but I said, "I gotta pee," so he pulled out and I went to the bathroom.

It took me a while to pee because I was kinda hard, and I still wasn't the whole way soft when I went back into the bedroom. Carl looked at me and said, "Let me watch while you jack off," so I got back on the bed. He played with my balls while I jacked. It didn't take long after he stuck his finger up my ass and started to move it around in there. I shot my load up onto my chest. Actually, the first squirt landed on my cheek. That didn't happen often. Carl said, "Big load for a little boy." I don't know why he said that. I mean, it was a big load I guess, but I'm not a little boy. Like I already told you, I'm eighteen years old. Eighteen and a half. After I washed the come off my face and chest we got dressed and left.

Carl bought us breakfast and we hit the road again. Here's something that I think is kind of funny; you know, kind of strange, but nice. I could feel my asshole as we rode along. I was just sitting there beside Carl, but my asshole felt good and so did that whole area down there and I knew that I had been fucked. I guess you could say that I was content.

It was just before eleven when Carl said, "There it is - New York City." Actually, he said, "Noo Yawk City," in this funny voice. I looked where he was looking and said, "Oh."

Carl said he had business in the city and he took me the whole way in. He talked all the time about things we were seeing. After a while he pulled over to this curb. "Here we are," he said. "Port Authority Building." I started to get out of the car but he said, "Wait. Do you have any plans?" and I said, "Not yet." Then he said, "Do you have any money?' and I said, "Some." He took his wallet out of his back pocket and took out a twenty. He folded it and gave it to me and said, "Hide this. Put it in your shoe," so I did. "Thanks," I said and I got out of his car. I thought he'd drive away but he just sat there looking at me so I turned and started to walk away. Then he called me back. "Good luck," he said and he handed me another twenty. I looked at it and he said, "Go on. Take it," so I did.

"Rocco"

Rocco was my best friend in the city. Actually, he was my best friend. Period. He never expected me to do things for him and he didn't treat me mean or laugh at me for not always understanding things. He was nice looking and strong and we'd touch each other and didn't think it was queer. I mean, if we had been girls we might have brushed each others' hair or whatever. That sounds weird, but I hope you know what I mean. I think you do.

I met Rocco in the park. He was a little older than I was and we hit it off right from the start. I told him stuff when he asked questions like he asked me if I had a job and I said, "I used to but I don't have one now," and he said, "What happened?" and I said, "Well, I didn't have any place to wash up much and I was always wearing the same clothes so the guy said I couldn't work there any more," and Rocco said, "Oh. Well, where are you staying?" he asked and I said, "In the park, and he said, "That's no good. You gotta live someplace real," and I said, "Like where? I don't know where else to go." Rocco thought and then he said, "Well, for starters, how about with me?" I liked Rocco right from the start like I already told you but I thought, "I can't pay him to stay at his place. I can't even have sex with him 'cause gotta to keep myself ready for a john."

See, I was getting money to buy things I needed like food and stuff from johns - you know; guys who would pay me for a blow job or whatever, and I was sure Rocco wasn't a john. I said, "How do you get your money?" and he said, "Same as you," and I said, "What d' ya mean?" He backed up a step and looked at me and said, "Do I gotta spell it out?" and I said, "Yeah." He said, "Sex that's how," and I said, "With guys?" and he said, "Sure, with guys; same as you." I said, "How do you know about me?" but all he said was, "I ain't blind." I didn't know what to think about that so I said, "Well, I don't think I can go with you 'cause I can't pay you and I can't have sex with you either." He looked at me and said, "Whoa! I'm not talkin' about sex; just a place to stay, that's all." "Well, I still can't pay," I said and he said, "We can work somethin' out," and I said, "Maybe."

Rocco lived in an old building not too far from the park. The super in that building let him stay in a room in the basement. It was next to the super's apartment and he let Rocco use his kitchen and stuff. To stay there Rocco had to do things like sweep the hall and take out the trash and suck the super off when he wanted him to which wasn't very often cause he was so old and he was tired a lot. That's what Rocco said. I said, "Well, where am I gonna sleep?" and he said, "Relax. I got that all figured out."

Rocco's building was old but it wasn't a flea trap or anything like that. Actually, it was kind of classy. We went inside and down a few steps and Rocco called out, "Hey Lenny," and Lenny called back, "In here Rocco."

Now, Lenny really was old like Rocco said. He didn't have much hair on his head but what there was was long and white and it stuck out all over the place. He was skinny and not too good looking and he needed a shave. Rocco said, "Lenny, this is my friend, Timmy. He's gonna be staying with me - with us - for a while - if that's OK." Lenny looked me over like he was thinking about buying me and he said, "He's real pretty, Rocco," and Rocco said, "I know. I got eyes." Lenny said, "He'll have to earn his keep," and Rocco said, "I know," and when Lenny looked at me I said, "Fair enough."

Rocco took me to his room and showed me around. That didn't take long. There was only one bed and it was small. Actually, it was a cot. I said, "Where am I gonna sleep?" and he said, "That's up to you," and I said, "I thought you had that all figured out." He said, "There's a roll-away in the hall right under the stairs. You can use that; sleep there or bring it in here, whatever you want." I had lots of questions. "What's a roll-away?" I asked and he said, "It's a cot on wheels so you can move it real easy. Here or there, it doesn't matter."

Then I said, "Sleep in the hall?" and he said, "Yeah, no one ever comes down here but me and Lenny so it's real quiet." Then I looked at him and said real slow, "I don't know," and he kinda laughed. He said, "All right, bring it in here, as long as I ain't got a john in here; ya know what I mean?" and I said, "Yeah." Then he said, "If you need to use the room - you know, bring a john here - that's OK but I got dibs," and I said, "OK." "You gotta be careful who you bring here," he said and I said, "I know that." "It's gonna work out," he said and I said, "Yeah. I think so too."

Like I said, Rocco and I were real tight. He showed me stuff; tricks of the trade he called them. He showed me where johns drove around looking for tricks. Now, I'd already been in the city for a while and I'd been with enough men to keep body and soul together like Grandma used to say. But I could tell that this would be better; a regular place to go; sort of like having a job. It's like Rocco told me: It doesn't do no good if you're not where the customers are.

And he showed me where certain guys always stood and which ones were nice and which ones to look out for. And he showed me how to stand to show myself off. You know; my good points. I don't have to go into too much detail here.

He showed me what kind of clothes to wear. I'll tell you what his secret was. Well, actually, it wasn't a secret. All the guys did the same but it was news to me. Wear as little as you can get away with, like muscle shirts and short shorts in the summer; and whatever you have to wear, wear it tight. Rocco had another saying: It pays to advertise.

Now some guys specialized, you know? Like Harvey. Harvey was this handsome guy who always wore bad looking jeans - torn and ratty in the knees and especially the crotch, and he wore like plaid shirts that he never buttoned all the way up, and he turned the sleeves up almost to his elbows. He looked like a cowboy or something. I mean, you'd look at him and wonder where he parked his horse. I said to Rocco, "Maybe I should do that," and he said, "What? The cowboy look?" and I said, "Yeah," and he said, "You couldn't pull it off. You're the cute type. You'd look like a kid in a Halloween costume," and I said, "I guess." Harvey always scored so he knew how to pull it off. I would have gone with Harvey.

"Lenny"

Well, as you probably guessed, I moved into Rocco's building the same day he took me over there; the first day we met. (How's that for being a friend? for making a friend? Pretty good, huh?) I didn't have to do much; only help Rocco out.

Of course, you probably also guessed, I had to suck Lenny off every once in a while too. He didn't take many showers and he smelled bad but I pretended that I didn't mind. When he wanted me to suck him off he'd call, "Timmy, could you come here for a minute?" and I'd go in to his apartment and there he'd be sitting on a chair or maybe propped up on his bed with his pants and drawers down to his ankles. He didn't have much hair down there and what he did have was all white. In fact, his skin was white too. What I mean is, he was real white. He was the whitest guy I ever saw. His cock was long and pale and reminded me of a fish. He'd play with it, sort of wag it up and down, but it would be soft anyway. I'd get in front of him and put it in my mouth and start sucking. It would take him forever to get hard, or semi hard, and I'd suck and suck until my jaw hurt. He'd say, "That's right. Suck me good. Make ole Lenny feel good." I guess I did. He came most of the time but sometimes I wasn't sure. I never got hard sucking Lenny.

Actually, I didn't like Lenny all that much. Maybe it was his smell, but I think it was because he never really seemed to like me. I mean, sometimes I'd catch him looking at me like he did that first time I already told you about but he never talked to me or anything, except when he wanted a blow job, of course. I had it pretty good though, considering.

I lived in Lenny's building pretty regular. I was able to keep clean and all which was important to me and I had as many clothes as when I lived at home. A lot were tight for picking up johns like I already explained to you, but some of them were nice.

To be continued