Fucking Scared

I travel a lot for work, which I used to like,  but now I'm married, not so much. Ever since COVID I have appreciated staying home more. So now when I travel I try to do it in as short a time as possible. Sometimes this means cramming a lot into a short period, hence doing long days and even working into evenings, which I am fine with as I usually have nothing else to do but hang out in a hotel bar or my room. However this last trip I was surprised by an encounter that really opened my eyes to a sexual side of myself that was exciting to explore.

This trip proved to be exhausting. I had the three long days and nights of troubleshooting and we still did not find the issue. This meant we had to come up with some quick patches until I could come back. I hate it when things don't go to plan and was frustrated with myself for not finding the issue. I knew stepping away would be good but still annoyed that I had to plan a second trip. Knowing there was little I could do, I finished early and decided to head straight to the bar for a drink. I did not even bother changing, and was still in work slacks and white shirt. I like to wear long sleeve shirts on the job as it hides my arm length tattoos. I am not ashamed of them but I am very aware as to how colleagues can view me, so I keep them hidden. But now that the day was done, and it was a hot day,  I rolled up my sleeves, loosened my tie and opened my top button on my shirt. As my shirt was a slim fit, the rolled sleeves were tight and I was aware how they emphasized my muscular arms. I have developed quite the toned body from working out in hotel gyms, during my down time. Because of this, I like to wear clothes that emphasize my physique, and I find the attention I get is flattering. 

As I was alone I took a seat at the bar and ordered my whiskey on rocks. I needed something strong to quickly cut the edge off the day. As I was sipping on my drink,  the bar and patio began to fill up as attendees of an on-site conference. Annoyed by the increased noise level, I kept to myself and focused on my drink when I saw a guy standing by me trying to get the bar staff’s attention. I looked up and noticed the guy was also in a business suit. He was cute, slim, and medium height with light brown hair and sparkling brown eyes. It seemed like he might be gay, which was confirmed by the way he blushed and the way he embarrassingly looked away when our eyes met. He then proceeded to avoid my gaze for the rest of the time he was at the bar. I was used to this kind of response from gay men, I have been told I have a resting bitch face, that makes me come across as cold and unapproachable. Given I was previously focused on the stress of that day and annoyed by the crowded bar, I am sure that he read in my expression that I  was far from welcoming. When his drinks ordered,  I tried to make light conversation and commented on him buying a whisky. He seemed shocked I was talking to him and asked me to repeat myself. I made some joke about most gay guys not usually drinking whiskey which unfortunately  he took the wrong way. Seeing this as a lost cause I just turned away to focus back on my drink. 

As someone who was bad at flirting, I was used to these awkward situations. Gay men always intimidate me. Despite being confident in daily life, and being what I would consider a relatively handsome man, when in the presence of other gay men, any self assurance I might have all disappears. In those moments I get in my head and feel as if I am being assessed. As I see myself not measuring up, I often become standoffish, a ploy to preemptively protect myself from potential negative judgment, sabotaging any interaction before it happens. As this has become standard for me, I have become used to this game and now as a married man, I just ignore these interactions and return to focusing on other things. After this last interaction, I just decided that  I would just grab a bite and head back to my room.

 I reached out to the bar staff and asked  if I was allowed to smoke outside on the patio. They told me yes, so I walked over to the patio and took a seat. One of the pleasures of being away from my husband was that I was allowed to partake in one of my other passions, cigars. I enjoyed smoking, but my husband did not love this about me. So when I traveled I would always find time to grab a smoke or two. Once seated on the patio, I took my cigar I had in my breast pocket and lighter from my back pocket and put them on the table ready for later. When a waiter finally came by, I placed an order for some food and a bottle of beer and then sat back and waited. It was then that I noticed I was now sitting in the eye shot of the guy from the bar. I could feel that he kept looking my way, so I tried not to look back. I was not in the mood for this cat and mouse game. In my experience even if he was interested he would be unlikely to approach me and since I was unlikely to do the same, there seemed no point to engage so I tried my best to ignore him, although he was persistent. When my food and beer arrived, I focused on that. Once I was done, I now got to move my attention to my cigar. I had been looking forward to this all day. There is something about smoking cigars I find immediately arousing. I have always been drawn to the confidence of men who smoke cigars, and there was something about having one myself that made me feel like them. I know the smell annoyed some people, but once the cigar was lit I no longer cared about them or anything else. 

With my cigar lit, I leaned back in my chair to enjoy the moment. I then became aware again that the guy at the bar was still staring at me. It was then that I decided, screw it, if he wants to watch I would give him a show. I turned my chair around so I was facing right at him and took a long drag of my cigar. I then reached down to adjust my cock which was growing from the arousal from smoking the cigar. I saw that he was looking right at my groin, playing close attention to what my hand was doing. Egged on by his attention, I began to run my hand over my engorged cock, slowly drawing my hand along his trousers to highlight it more. I slowly caressed my dick while taking another inhale from the cigar. His attention was fixed. I then slowly took my hand away and took a swig of my beer. Now the show was over his attention went back to his friends at his table. So I decided that I would head back to my room, but before this I needed to take a leak. I downed my beer and stood up and headed to the outside bathroom. As I walked over, I noticed that the guy was watching my move. I decided to play with him and did not allow us to break eye contact as I made my way to the bathroom. 

I found this whole scene so pathetic but strangely familiar.This was not the first gay man who clearly found me attractive but was too intimidated to come and talk to me. The constant staring at first is always flattering but after a while it just becomes pitiful. Although I know that I am supposed to read this as a signal to approach him, given my awkwardness when I do approach, I saw no point. Knowing this game well, I just let it play out, flattered that I still had men who found me attractive, and continued on my way. When I arrived at the bathroom, I walked up to the urinal and pulled out my still slightly engorged cock. I took a puff of my cigar, while I focused on peeing. I had drank a lot and my stream was forceful. As I was peeing I heard someone else enter the bathroom. It was him, he walked up to the stall and stood next to me. I was surprised to see him. Did he follow me here? It seemed like too much of a coincidence. But again he did not look at me but started to relieve himself. Was he still waiting for me to make the move? I then heard a person leave the stall and wash his hands and leave. After that I saw him look at my cock as I was finishing up. I took a puff of my cigar and my confidence became inflated. With that I decided that if this fucker wants to play, I was ready for this. While he was watching I made sure he saw me leave, my cock still out. I then decided to walk to the now empty stall. I leaned up against the wall and took a puff on my cigar. It was his move. 

I immediately heard footsteps getting closer.  He walked into the stall and shut the door. He then leaned against the wall opposite and just stared at me. It was then realized he was scared. The fucker still did not say a word and just continued to stare at me, just waiting. As I drew on my cigar, I started to get mad, what the fuck was wrong with this guy. This was pathetic. Here I was again, another gay man waiting for me to make the move. Sick of these fucking games, I decided that if this was how it was to play out I would give him something he would not forget. Without giving it much more thought, I took the cigar from my lips and spat in his face. I wanted him to know how little respect I had for him. I then grabbed him by his shoulders and pushed him to his knees. He was now at cock level. I knew this was what he was waiting for, he fantasized about sucking the cock of some fucking alpha that scared the shit out of him. I decided before giving it to him that I would do one final release of my bladder. Before he knew what was happening I let out a stream of piss. I sprayed it all over his face, into his mouth and all in his hair. In my anger I just wanted to degrade him. Let him see how pathetic I saw him. Despite the shock and fear on his face, he clearly was still aroused by his treatment. I quickly then grabbed my dick and shoved it into his mouth. He finally got his reward.

He clearly was more than eager to help me out. This fucking cocksucker certainly lived up to his name. He worked my dick with his tongue like a pro, but before he could think about next steps, I grabbed the back of his head and rammed my cock all the way in.  He took the whole thing with ease, gagging slightly as my dick hit the back of his throat. I took it out and rammed it in again. Treating his throat like just another fuck toy. I was brought back to the moment when I heard someone walk in to take a piss. I let go of his head. The scene in front of me took on a new light. I was reminded that I was a married man. With this, my rage at his pitiful behavior, and for treating me like nothing more than some pathetic player in his weird fantasy, slowly subside. I was frozen in place. As the man outside  peed he returned to working my cock. 

The fucker was good. He knew how to really work a cock. I decided at that moment that the only thing to do was just enjoy what was happening. I focused back on my cigar as he continued to suck me off. Once the guy at urinal was done and left, I could feel I was getting close. I knew I wanted to make sure that this pathetic whore took my full load. He was not going to get off easy. I took charge again,  grabbed his head and resumed fucking his face. I did one final hard thrust and pushed his head onto my tool as I shot my load down the back of his throat. He gagged but swallowed it all. As I slowly pulled out he continued to suck on my cock. cleaning it as I pulled it fully out. Once done, I tucked it back into his trousers. He then stood up and stared at me again and smiled. It was clear this was how he was hoping it would go down. I asked if he enjoyed it and he just nodded. I could not lie that I did too. After the day I had, it was great to have a chance to get out my aggression and stress. The fact it included a blowjob was a bonus. I smiled and then leaned in to kiss him. I told him where he could find me if he wanted a repeat later. With that I exited the stall and left the bathroom to head back to my room. 

 

Once back, I was overwhelmed with a combination of guilt and excitement.  What had I just done? More importantly, who was I? That was not me. I am not someone to abuse someone, to just use them for sexual pleasure. however there was no question that I enjoyed it. The fear in his eyes was arousing and the power I felt in that situation was liberating. In that moment his pleasure became unimportant, not even a secondary concern, as everything became focused on me, and who doesn't want to have that experience at least sometimes. Nonetheless i felt a little uncomfortable about it all. I knew I needed to brush these thoughts aside since I had invited him up. I realized if he came I could explain it all then, although if he did come then clearly he liked it rough, so I might need to play it by ear. While I waited, I decided to get a glass of whiskey and light another cigar. This was my second for the day, which was not usual for me, but it calmed my nerves. Thankfully I had booked myself in the smoking wing of the hotel. Although I did not love the stale smell of cigarettes which usually permeated from everything in these rooms, it was worth the luxury of enjoying a cigar in my room. I realized I had forgotten to ask him if he cared about me smoking, but given that I was smoking the whole time I have to assume it was alright given he never spoke to me.

Still a little drunk, I took a sip of my whiskey, as I waited, hoping,  thoughts just rushed through my head. I went from arousal reflecting on the moment, to concern he wasn't coming, to a feeling of rejection, then annoyance that I was just another fucking story for this slut to tell his friends, then back to anger at of how pathetic it was he said nothing the whole time. As I landed on fury, I thought only how things would play out if he dared to show his face and it would not be good for him. It was then I heard footsteps outside my door. I turned to watch as the door opened. Having given up on him, I was a little surprised to see him show up. Still angry, I just stared at him and asked if he was ready for a proper fucking. Again he said nothing and began walking closer. I then put the cigar back in my mouth and undid my pant zipper to release my hardening cock. Without further instruction he got to his knees and took my cock in his hand and began sucking onto the tip of my dick. 

As I leaned back in my chair I was reminded what a great cock sucker he was. This time he took it slow looking up at me as I smoked my cigar. At that moment I could take a better look at him. He was younger than me by at least a decade. He was cute with large green brown eyes. This moment felt more intimate. It was then I realized that I was still in my work attire and so started to undress, taking off my shirt. Although I was enjoying this moment, the more I stared at him, the more I thought about how different this was to our previous encounter, how rough I was and how he seemed to enjoy that. I started to worry that this was not what he came for, that he was here to see a different side of me, the more aggressive side of me. A side of me I realized I hardly knew.

I decided I had to switch it up, so I told him to stand up. I knew if I was to do this right I could not look at him, so I spun him around. I then leaned into his ear and whispered, "You are about to get the fucking of your life". I then pushed his head down over the sofa so his arse was raised. He had a beautiful arse with perfect round orbs. I greased my fingers with the lube and muscle relaxer I had left by the table. Then I used my fingers to probe his boi hole, I stretched it out with additional fingers. Once it was clear it was stretched enough I grabbed my cock and guided it towards that man-pussy. I circled his hole slowly to tease him before entering his arse. There was considerable resistance at first but slowly I was able to get my member fully in. I stopped with my balls resting against his taint. I waited until he was used to my intrusion. I then focused on what I knew he came for, an aggressive fucking. I pulled my cock almost fully out and then rammed it back in fast. The little resistance from his arse and the whimper he let out aroused me and I felt my cock swell even more. I then repeated this over and over, each time I felt more and more powerful, the release of aggressiveness on this boy's cunt was intoxicating, only fuelling me to go harder and deeper with each thrust. 

When I was once again balls deep in this slut's arse, I stopped to get my breath. This pause quickly brought back into the moment. I started to feel bad for the boi, even if he wanted this, I could not use him. So I decided to flip him onto his back so I was facing him. I raised his legs in the air and then returned my cock back into his arse. Staring at his beautiful eyes I continued to fuck him as aggressively as I could, but got harder to keep it up as I stared at him. As I fucked him I heard his breathe get heavier, and his cock began to twitch. I began to fuck him harder as he tipped back his head, rolled back his eyes and came all over his chest. Seeing him come without anyone touching his cock was rewarding. This was the reassurance I needed  that he might be enjoying himself at this moment. I knew that I was not far either, so I kept going, with each thrust I knew that I was tickling his prostate more, intensifying his orgasm. I was close, and with one final thrust, I came deep in his arse. After I shot my last load, I collapsed forward, pulled myself free, and rolled onto my back. We laid side by side, spent from our activities. 

As I gained my composure I was not sure what was next. What do you do after this? Previously, I would just ask if they wanted to stay, but I didn't even know this guy's name and he hardly acknowledged my existence, other than to use me. So I just assumed I should politely let him leave. As he stood up to get his stuff, I blurted out "heading out already?" He looked at him surprised. Then he said, " I just assumed twice in one day might be more than most men could handle". I just smiled and said, we can do other things beside fucking…  I did not know what that might be but he was happy to see he decided to stay and find out. I only hope he decides to talk because this could be awkward. 😉