The Summer of 1977

Before anyone ask, this is a work of fiction.

 I look back at my life without any real regrets, but I do imagine how things might have been different if I had made a different decision or a different choice at some point in my past. If I had spoken up or responded to a situation a bit differently. You know the game. That one moment’s hesitation is reversed, and you go for it. Or that one guy who always seemed like he would have been willing, had seemed to want to hook up, maybe more, and you ‘what if’ into a scenario where you approach him. Or you make that big move earlier rather than later, one to a place where you feel like you can breathe, or to that job that doesn’t feel soul crushing. I’ve done it off and on over the years, but never to the point of regret. I can’t have regrets, or it would drive me mad to think of what was missed. No one gets everything, and we all have missed opportunities. It is what makes us strive to do better or to be bolder the next time.

But I know back in 1977, it had been tough. I felt isolated, even from my friends. I was a gay teen who lived in fear of being found out. There was no such thing as ‘coming out’, not really. Not like some could do in San Francisco or New York or in some other major city. Especially not in some small southern city.

But there were opportunities to meet other guys. To find the courage to make that initial contact, then to enjoy the other’s company. I think of that summer after graduation, how it was this opportunity, the threshold to a life I so desperately desired. A time that I began to find myself and the ability to live. The summer I meet other guys who was like me.

 

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Summer of 1977

I shifted into fourth as I cruised toward Brownsville, a small business district in north Pensacola. That is where the hobby shop was located, a place I could browse for an hour or longer, moving down the narrow aisles of scale models. There were cars, planes, boats, and other vehicles, and of the latter three, most were military. Made sense, since half the customer base were guys from one of the two military bases nearby. It made those narrow aisles that much more appealing, having to move past one or two guys with those short hair cuts that had been so recent the skin around their hairlines was lighter than the neck and face.

Over the bridge spanning Bayou Texar, I headed west, until passing the Krispy Kreme. My Vega, five years old, starting to rust around the rear window and wheel arches and burning oil, bounced over the potholes and pulled right, the front out of alignment. It had been somewhat reliable transportation for the last two years when I bought it with money earned at the mall and given as gifts. Like other boys my age, I wanted a Mustang or Camaro, but those cars exceeded my budget.

Adjusting the radio, I came to TK101 playing Cygnus X-1 by Rush. Windows down, I turned it up as loud as my speakers would allow and sang along, granted out of key and not knowing half the lyrics. I felt free. Martin Luther King had said “Free at last, Free at Last, Thank God almighty we are free at last.” Having just graduated high school, I felt as if I had escaped some kind of prison and was now free. Come fall, I was going to start college, albeit at PJC. Yeah, it was a junior college, but I hoped to get into one of the bigger universities after two years.

I know my biggest problem was how I lusted after other boys. I mean, really lusted after them. There had been Bobby, Greg, Landon, Mike, and…Jesus fuck, so many others in my year or one of the classes above or below mine that I was constantly having to divert my eyes before being caught staring. The shower room had been especially claustrophobic, to the point I had stood facing my locker to undress or dress, scared to look around for I knew what would happen if I saw the other guy’s dicks. I would look while thinking about touching them until my own gave me away. A guy did not get a boner in the shower room. No way. That would lead to a beating behind the gym and ostracizing, the latter being what I had feared the most.

Yeah, I’m a homosexual, a gay boy. And I’m constantly afraid of saying or doing something that would give me away. I mean, you just do not talk about it around here. I read about San Francisco and New York, the riots and protests, and how brutally the police responded. It seems that even in areas where gays live openly, they still get beat up and they have to be careful about talking about it. In Pensacola, a military city, you sure as hell don’t admit being gay. Or most didn’t talk about it. There were some who went to a bar in downtown that was just around the corner from a bar catering to the military guys. Yeah, you can imagine how that worked out.  

There is a television show coming out in the fall that supposedly has a gay character. I can’t image, and bigger still, can’t image the show getting to be aired. Already, faculty and alumni of Pensacola Christian College are raising hell. If there is a group to avoid, it’s those assholes. But the idea of a television show having a character that is like me, damn, I just can’t imagine it. After the sexual revolution of the late sixties, you would think 1977 would be more progressive, but it sure doesn’t feel like it.

The few storefronts lining the street came into view. There were three buildings on the left that contained an electronics repair shop, a used furniture retailer, and the hobby shop. I slowed, then made a left turn into the parking lot that sat along the side of the building. Four guys were walking toward the front, and I couldn’t help but survey them. Two average builds, one stocky, and one muscular and intimidating. The close to the scalp haircuts tagged them as military boys, probably Navy, since it was the closest base. My eyes fell on the one with dark hair and a tall lean body. My weakness. A guy taller than my own six feet.

I parked in the first available space, locked up the Vega, and headed inside to browse the models and the guys looking at them. Opening the door, the familiar bell rang out letting the owner know of another arrival. There was something thrilling about the interior with its dark wood walls and old tin ceiling as backdrops for model planes hanging from the ceiling and the train that ran around the room on a track mounted about eight feet high on the wall, little brackets evenly spaced under the plywood base for it. The sales counter was along the left side, with scale train engines and cars in glass cases lined behind it. The front wall had shelves to the high sill, the other side wall had shelves that extended up out of reach, overstock and special models on display. Down the middle, shelving closely spaced together, maybe thirty inches apart. The second aisle had a glass case on top of short shelf with model cars, tanks, and boats on display.

I moved into the store, down the first aisle, then down the next. My eyes went from the box ends showing the different models to the guys browsing nearby. A blonde looking into the glass case, two guys at the counter looking at a remote-control airplane, then along the side aisle a light brown-haired guy looking at a submarine model. He reached up to put the model back on the display shelf and his t-shirt rode up revealing the lower back and how the jeans sat low on the waist. I stared until he moved toward the back of the shop out of sight. When I turned back around the tall dark haired guy was standing at the end of the aisle smiling at me, then he turned away when he realized I saw him.

It made me nervous at first. To be caught staring at another guy. The innate desire to flee caused me to consider heading to the front door. But remembering how he was smiling, then looking nervous when he realized I saw him, and he moved out of sight. Maybe, just maybe he was like me and nervous about being discovered.

I moved down the aisle gathering up my courage, then rounded the end at the counter, passing the two guys sizing them up against my own height. Both were about five seven or eight, lean builds that spoke to them still be teenagers, only eighteen, nineteen at most. In other words, my age. It seemed strange to think of it. These guys were my age but looked older, more mature, or at least that was my perception.

I moved into the next aisle, the only person in it, taking my time browsing the models on display. A 57 Chevy, a 68 Camaro, a 70 Mustang, and a 39 Alfa Romeo. One temptation after the next, but not the temptation like the one I felt toward the guys in the shop.

At the end of the aisle, far too curious for my own good, I moved toward the back, passing aisle after aisle looking for that tall dark headed guy. In the back room with the model train displays, with several tracks winding around each other, the guy stood watching a train circle the room on a track over our heads, where it moved around the entire perimeter of the room.

It would be the most daring moment of my life up to that point. Something that would teach me a valuable lesson. Sometimes you just had to push pass the fear and insecurity and go for it. I moved into the room and stood next to him, only three feet away.

“They are fascinating to watch,” I uttered, my voice far lower than I intended. I wasn’t sure he even heard me. But after a few long seconds, he finally replied.

“Yes. How they just go around their track, round after round, without anything to disturb or wreck them.”

His voice was husky, what some would call a smoker’s voice, and when I looked over I saw the dark brown eyes glance my way then look back at the trains. I felt breathless. I wanted to say something, something smart and intelligent and insinuating. Nothing came to mind.

“Are you from Pensacola?” he asked.

“Yes, I live on the other side of town…near the mall.”

“Cordova?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve been to the mall.”

“You Navy, or Air Force?”

“Navy. Are you going to join when you graduate high school?”

He thought I was younger, still in school, and for a moment I was flustered that he thought me still a kid. But then it dawned on me he was fishing for my age.

“I graduated this year and going to college in the fall, so I won’t be signing up for military service. Dad wants me to go to college and do better than he has done. He says it all…the…time.”

I was rambling, filling the space between us with words. Meaningless words when compared to what I wanted to ask.

“Good for you. I didn’t have that option, but hope to do so after my tour.”

“You like the Navy?”

“Yeah, it’s good. Not nearly as bad as I first feared.”

“I don’t know if I could do it. Stuck with a bunch of guys sharing bathrooms and…everything.”

“Hey, do you know where a guy could get a good pizza? Not that chain crap, but someplace that really knows how to do a pie?”

He changed the topic again, giving me something to go on in trying to keep our conversation going.

“I know there is a small place in downtown. Red and white checkered table clothes and pictures of Italy on the walls. I think the family immigrated here not too long ago.”

“Sounds perfect,” he uttered, then he looked behind us into the main shop area. When he turned, he faced me for the first time. Just locked eyes with me until I felt my heart race.

“You want to show me where this place is located? I’ll buy.”

“Are you going to treat me to lunch?”

“Sure, if I can ride with you and afterward you take me back to the base.”

“I can do that.”

“Cool. I’m Gavin; what’s your name?”

“David.”

“David; let me tell the guys and we can go.”

I watched Gavin go over to the three guys he arrived with who were at the counter looking at a remote-controlled plane.

“Bryan, Mark, I’m going to go with this guy for a pizza. He knows a good place.”

“Finally found authentic Italian pies?” asked Mark.

“I think so. I’ll see you back on base.”

 

I moved to the driver’s door as Gavin went to the passenger side to wait on me to unlock it. I saw the look, thinking he was going to make fun of my car, but then he surprised me.

“Wow, my brother has one of these. Burns oil like mad.”

Yeah, this one uses a bit,” I replied. “What kind of a car do you have?”

“Oh, I never had a car. I hope to get one once I’m at the base I’ll be at for most of my tour.”

I realized he was no better than myself. Behind the wheel I reached over to unlock his door. I watched him get in, pushing the seat back as far as it would go.

It wasn’t a long drive back east and to downtown. Soon, I was turning on Palafox, heading south for the main business district. A few blocks, then a turn on a side street, I found a parking space I could slip in easily.

The restaurant was a small place. The entry door was centered on the storefront with enough room for a four top on each side of it, and tables down one wall and booths along the other. In back, the wait station and door to the kitchen.

“Let’s sit in a booth,” said Gavin, and I followed him across the old wood floor, hearing it squeak and give under my feet. He went to the booth half way down and slid in facing the front and I slid in the opposite side. Our feet touched and I instinctually pulled back, then wished I hadn’t done so.

 

I wish I can say we really connected and had a lovely conversation, but the reality was very different. But it was probably more real. We went through the brief history of our lives, Gavin coming from Nebraska, the youngest of three, and using the military as a means of escape (his word, not mine). Then there was the circling around personal aspects of our lives, eventually asking about girlfriends (surprise, neither had had one) and what we did for fun (movies, music, books…you know the usual list for someone like me). I still wasn’t sure about Gavin, whether, or not he was gay too. I just wasn’t confident enough to accept what was obvious in hindsight. But his foot touched mine again, and this time I held the contact. He smiled. I smiled…and blushed.

I wanted something to happen, but I was living at home and he was in a barracks on base, so that left few options. I assumed we would just drive back to the base where I would drop him off and that would be the end of it. Luckily for us, downtown in 1977 was practically dead. The shopping was at the malls and shopping centers and downtown had little open on a weekend. It meant few were on the sidewalks. We were going back to my car when Gavin grabbed my hand and pulled me down an alley. It was as you can imagine. Narrow, dark, trash strewn with graffiti on the walls. A large roll-out dumpster sat about fifteen feet from the sidewalk and Gavin pulled me until passed it. Suddenly I was against the wall and Gavin was roughly kissing me. At first I tried to push him away, some instinctual reaction to the suddenness of it, then I relaxed to the feel of his lips against my own, then I kissed him back. I felt his hands on my waist, then one move down until squeezing my cock. I moaned and kissed with greater urgency. My cock grew erect. It was almost painful how it was confined. Then Gavin pushed a knee between my legs and up, up until my cock flexed with my arousal.

“Let me,” Gavin whispered.

At that moment I would have done anything but was still surprised to see that Navy boy squat down in front of me. He mouthed my cock through my jeans then began tugging on them, pulling the buttons free until my cock no longer felt confined. A tug, and it flexed in the open air between us. Then it was engulfed in Gavin’s hot wet mouth. I stifled the desire to cry out and pushed forward gagging him. Hands came to my thighs pushing me tight to the wall and that mouth, that fucking sweet, slick mouth moved on my cock. Jesus how could anyone think this so wrong? I pressed the palms of each hand hard against the rough wall as I felt lips moved along my cock, tongue torture the head, then my nuts were in his mouth being pulled tight in their sac. I moaned and pushed against the hands. He buried my cock in his mouth again, but this time he moved on it with a brutal pace. Head bobbing back and forth and all I could sense was how it felt on my cock. The way lips moved along my rock-hard shaft. Forward until coming engulfed, then pulling back until only the head was locked between those lips.

I couldn’t hold back. It was too much, especially for my first time feeling my cock in a guy’s mouth. I began to shudder and tried to shove forward.

“I’m going to cum,” I uttered breathlessly.

Gavin pushed forward until he had every goddamn inch, and I came. I jerked and shuddered with every ejaculation. Every spurt was a jolt to the body. I shoved forward hard enough to choke him as my cock spurt wad after wad.

Then I was spent and he was squeezing my cock between his fingers until a bead of cum pooled in the slit and I shivered as he licked it off. He looked up, licking his lips.

“Will you do me?”

“Yes.”

“Get dressed then switch places.”

 

I mouthed his cock through his jeans. Its tube shape so fucking obvious, thick and stretched out to the right side. I used my lips to work every inch until I could put my mouth over the head and suck hard through the denim. He ran his hands through my hair, then he was pulling my head tight to his cock while pushing with his hips. Then he pulled my head back.

“Take it out.”

I worked frantically to get Gavin’s jeans undone. Button free, then the zipper tugged down. White boxers came into view and as soon as I had the jeans pulled down below his crotch, they tented outward obscenely. I licked at the fabric covering the head, then mouthed it. Sucked through that fabric until it was wet and transparent. I tugged down on the boxers working them over his erection until it was flexing in my face. The head was flared wide and capped a long, thick cock that curved upward. I kissed it, tongued it, then slipped my lips over it and pushed forward as far as I could.  His hands took my head and soon cock slowly piston inside my mouth. A slow push inward, then the agonizingly long tug outward. Over and over, teasingly slow, he worked that cock through my lips. I forgot where we were doing this. I didn’t think of it being a Saturday afternoon in an alley in downtown where anyone who looked could see me squatting before this tall lanky Navy boy sucking his cock.

He moved his hands combing fingers through my hair letting me set my own pace. I moved with greater urgency, desperate to get him to cum. I wanted him to cum in my mouth. To taste another’s cum, to have it fill my mouth with one eruption after the next until I had to swallow it.

I copied what he had done. I worked my lips along that curved shaft. I tongued the head until he was trying to jam that cock down my throat. Then I was moving on it again. I reached up between his legs and took his nuts in hand, tugging on them as he had done mine, only he had done it with his mouth. I used my hand since I kept my mouth on that cock. I tugged and sucked and tongued the head until he was jerking and shaking. Then he filled my mouth with that bittersweet cum. Wad after wad spurt from his cock until it dribbled out of my mouth and down my chin. I swallowed and swallowed until his cock stopped flexing against the roof of my mouth.

Then I was looking up while licking my lips as he got dressed. When I stood he surprised me, grabbing me roughly pushing me against the wall once again and kissing me, then licking the cum off my chin.

 

We didn’t talk much as I drove back across town until entering the Naval Air Station. Entering the base was no big deal, having been there several times to visit the museum or the lighthouse or the one time I went with some classmates to hang out on San Carlos Beach, but driving up to the drop-off area for the living quarters was a bit unnerving, especially when I considered what we had done in that alley. I could sense the unease in the passenger seat, probably thinking the same thing.

As soon as I stopped Gavin was swinging the passenger door open. But he didn’t jump out as I expected, instead he sat back for a second.

“Hey…I was wondering…I get another weekend off in two weeks. You want to hang out or something?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

I was shocked he wanted to see me again, but then again, I was probably the only other gay male he knew in the whole city, a place he knew very little.

“You want me to come here to pick you up?” I asked, suddenly eager to work out the details.

“NO, no, I’ll take a taxi off the base. Let’s meet at the fast food joint where Navy Boulevard curves around, just past where the main traffic going straight end up on Worthington.”

“You mean Warrington, and I know where you are talking about.”

“See you at 11:30?”

“11:30 sounds good. Saturday week at the fast food joint.”

“Okay…I’ll get going and…thanks David.”

That was it for the our first encounter and my first time doing anything with another guy. A blowjob in an alley. I guess I could have done worse, and there was the date for a second meeting, which I knew I would obsess over for the next two weeks. How long would we have and what was the chances my folks would go out of town for that weekend (Zero. The chances of them going out of town any weekend and leaving me at home was zero.) and where could we go to have time together. Behind a warehouse? A room in a cheap motel? There was so much to consider and such limited means to carry anything out.

 

I won’t go into the fretting and anxiousness of the next two weeks. Let’s just say I showed up twenty minutes early at the fast-food joint. I debated on waiting in the car for a time before going in, but I couldn’t sit still and quickly found myself entering the dining room. I had to laugh out loud for sitting at the front in a booth was Gavin. He smiled. I smiled. And then the anxiousness I had been feeling bled away.

After a quick burger, we were headed up Warrington where Gavin had reserved a room in some cheap motel. I pulled into the parking lot and parked out of sight of the front office, letting Gavin go in to check in. When he came out I watched him go up the exterior stair, down the balcony to a room near the far end. Three rooms from the end. I waited a very long minute, then got out and headed for the stair at the end of the balcony closest to the room. I expected the manager to come running out and stop me, but I made it unmolested to the stair and raced up.

The door was left ajar, and I eased into the dark room, the only light coming from the bathroom.

“Gavin?” I called out.

“In here,” came his reply from the bathroom.

I sat on the bed. I felt like some wild animal. Nervous. Skittish. A shift in the light, a shadow stretched across the floor, and I looked up to see Gavin coming towards me. Naked. I saw him for the first time. The tall lean body, the cock hanging over its sac, the pubic hair over it that transitioned to a narrow line up to the navel. A few steps and he was in front of me.

He didn’t say anything, just ran one hand through my hair, then tilted my head back as he leaned over and kissed me. I reached out until feeling his leg. I ran my hand up and down it, feeling the soft hairs tickle my fingers. His tongue went into my mouth as the hand held the back of my neck, and I ran my hand up until I touched him. I fondled that cock, manipulated it until I felt it thicken and stretch out.

He stood up and stepped closer. That cock was right in my face, and I leaned to it taking it hungrily into my mouth. I moved on it. Pushed forward then back, dragging wet lips along its long curved shaft. I tongued the head, bore into the slit until he was pushing against my tongue.

Suddenly he stepped back, his cock flexing up and down between us. Hands roughly pulled and tugged on my t-shirt and I raised my arms letting him pull it off. He pushed me back on the bed and dropped to his knees between my legs. He worked my jeans undone and tugged everything down my legs, stripping me. I lay there naked, wondering how he saw me. I felt hands on my legs just above the knees. I felt them slid up my thighs, then a hot exhale of air over my sac, then the slow drag of a tongue over it, upward until dragging along my hardening cock. I clutched at the bed as I felt his mouth close over the head and push down, engulfing my cock in its warm slick embrace.

“Fuck,” I uttered in a low whisper.

As he sucked, I felt his fingers move over my sac and down between my legs. He rubbed my tight opening and I moaned with the pleasure of another touching me there. I put my feet on the edge of the bed. With knees up and feet spread apart, I opened myself to him. A finger penetrated, then another, moving through my tightness. I shivered as a third finger stretched me open while he kept sucking. I was so close, I thought I would cum. But then he pulled off my cock and I opened my eyes raising my head enough to face him.

“Let me,” Gavin whispered.

“Yes. Do it. I want it,” I whispered in reply.

He moved up, slipped a hand behind each knee, and soon had my thighs pressed to my chest. His cock touched me, raked over my opening, then pressed against it.

“Relax. Push to it,” Gavin uttered.

I wanted it so bad despite my nervousness. I tried to relax, then found myself pushing against his cock. It stretched my opening as it penetrated me. Slowly, Gavin holding still after each small push, until I finally loosened to it. Then his cock just slipped into me, inch after inch, until I felt the fullness of his penetration. The way his cock fit inside me. He pushed until I felt him against my ass, then the weight of his body on my legs pressing down on me. We kissed, then he kissed along my jaw, neck, and back to my right ear. Hot exhales, the swirl of his tongue, then a low whisper.

“You feel so good.”

He was moving inside me. A tug then a push back into my depths. Over and over, I felt his slow movement until I was trying to increase the sensation, trying to get him deeper inside me. I wanted this connection, this breach of my body by another.

“Fuck me,” I uttered, and his pace increased.

He rose on his hands, hovering over my body. My legs rested on his shoulders; my ass angled up taking his cock as it worked within my depths. I was able to slip a hand between us and take my own cock, to feel its hardness slip slickly through my fingers. As he fucked, I toyed with my cock, raising my arousal to the point I moaned and grunted then pleaded with him to fuck harder.

Gavin fucked harder, faster, hammering cock into my depths. The bed rocked and squeaked beneath us, then I heard the steady staccato of flesh smacking against flesh. I felt it, how his body whacked against my own as cock bore into my depths.

Gavin slowed to a stop, then was moving me around until I was on my side, and he was sliding up behind me. His cock smacked against my ass, then it pushed slowly back into my hole. He slowed fucked me while wrapping an arm around my neck, pulling us together. He kissed the side of my neck while pumping that cock inside me. I felt every inch push in then tug outward. I took my own cock in hand and stroked in rhythm to his fuck. Slowly, torturously slow, then when he increased his pace, I did the same. He pulled me back against his chest and hammered cock into my depths.

I came. Hard. Cum hit me in the face then rained down my chest and stomach.

Gavin shoved inward and shuddered and jerked against my back as he filled my hole with cum.

 

I lay on my back gasping for breath, then giggled foolishly for his tongue was ticklish as it dragged over my stomach. I leaned up and watched him drag his tongue up my chest, capturing one pool of cum after the next. He moved to my face licking it off my cheek, then off my chin. Then we kissed.

If he had stopped at that moment, if he had done nothing else to show me pleasure, it would have been enough. But he kissed me with greater passion as he began to fondle my cock. I grew hard quickly. He moved over me, straddling my waist.

“Hold still and let me do it,” Gavin whispered.

He held my cock up and eased down on it. I watched in tormented pleasure as that tight ass moved down my cock. The squeeze on the head, then down the shaft, inch after inch until he was seated on it.

“Fuck,” I uttered.

“Yeah…fuck,” he replied.

He moved up and down, slowly at first. It was such a tease the way he moved. So slowly it was torturous. But he soon moved faster and faster. He stroked his own cock as he moved up and down. Then he leaned back resting on hands and worked his ass up and down at a brutal pace. His cock flopped heavily over his stomach as his ass stroked my cock.

He sat up, pulled me up against his chest as he kept fucking his ass on my cock. His cock rubbed slickly up and down my torso and the feel of it stroked my arousal. To feel another man’s cock, to have it rub over my skin as my own was buried in his depths…it was too much.

I bearhugged him, held that sweat slick body tight to my own and pulled him down on my cock, all the way, and filled him with my cum. I shuddered and jerked against him as my cock spurt wad after wad. Then cum shot up my chest and his cock kept flexing against me as cum smeared between us.

 

He lay back as I had done before, while I moved my tongue over his chest and stomach scooping up his cum.

 

On the way back to the base he confessed that our time together was over. He was shipping out in three weeks and would have no more leaves off base. I knew it would be short lived, for it was the way of things, but the suddenness was still a shock. I did my best to hide my disappointment. I saw how he looked, just as forlorn as I felt, and there was no need to make it worse.

I dropped him off near the entrance to the base. He told me how much it meant to meet me. How he had needed someone and would not forget it. What he didn’t say, and we both knew the truth of it, was we would never see each other again.

I wanted to be sad, depressed even, but when I consider how he showed me what it could be like, this sex between men, I found myself smiling, then laughing as I drove across town heading home.

Two weeks later I was back at the hobby shop. Wiser, confident, far more daring.

 

I entered the hobby shop wearing a loose tank top and jean shorts that were tight around the ass. I was going to shop not just the models but the boys browsing the aisles. I even had places scoped out where I could take a nice young Navy boy. Behind a warehouse near the shipyard on Bayou Chico or this road on the west side of the base, one built for a new housing development that only got as far as two roads and utilities before being abandoned.

There was a blonde on the first aisle, but he never gave me so much as a glance, too absorbed in some airplane model. In the next aisle there were three guys which made it far too crowded. The third aisle had a red head stooped in the middle of the aisle looking at ship models on the bottom shelves. I brazenly moved close, standing less than two feet away pretending to look at models on higher shelves.

“Hey, can I get to that model?”

Such a soft hoarseness in the voice. Masculine, but not threatening in any way. I looked down to see him pointing to a model on the bottom shelf right in front of me.

“Sure,” I replied stepping back but not nearly as much as a normal person would have done.

He leaned forward to reach it and lost his balance. He caught himself by grabbing my left leg, then once balanced, he let go quickly.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”

“It’s okay,” I interrupted, smiling down at him. He smiled back and suddenly face to face I saw the green eyes and light freckling over the cheeks. Fuck, he was cute. I didn’t think, just adjusted my cock right in his face. He looked at my fingers moving my cock, then pretended to look at models on the shelves as I realized what I had done. I wanted to flee, thinking I had gone way too far. I looked up trying to focus on the large models on display on the top shelf.

Something touched my left calf. Then I realized it was him, my cute red head. Fingers grazed lightly over my skin. It was ticklish how he raked the hairs, then lightly touched the skin. I finally looked down and saw how he was watching himself, just staring at his own hand as he touched me. I looked around to make sure no one was nearby, then I reached out and ran a hand over his head. What is it about short hair, hair cut right at the scalp, that makes it feel so good to brush your hand over it. The way it tickles the palm and fingers. I imagined that head rubbing up my thigh or rubbing over my stomach as he sucked me. He increased his touch, the hand cupping the calf as it rubbed up and down.

This was getting too serious for the hobby shop. If we didn’t stop, I would be adjusting my cock again.

“You want to go for a ride…with me?” I asked in the lowest whisper I could manage, hoping I was loud enough for him to hear.

He stood up and I found he was shorter than my six feet, about five eight or nine, and far more muscular through the shoulders and arms than I realized. His t-shirt was stretched tight across the chest. Both nipples were plainly visible, and I felt a desire to reach out and touch them.

“I’d like that. Let me tell the guys I got a ride back to the base.”

“I’ll be outside in my car. The blue Vega in the parking lot near the back.”

 

I sat in that hot car adjust my cock, squeezing it through my jean shorts, feeling it harden. I saw him come around the front of the building and through the small parking lot. He looked back once, probably wondering if one of his friends had followed him out. He came to the passenger side and eased down in the seat.

“I’m David.”

“Jonathan.”

“Navy?”

“Yep. What about you? I assume you live here?”

“Yes. I’m going to start college this fall.”

“I intend to go after my tour.”

“Why did you join the Navy?”

“To get away. And to see something of the world. I hope to get stationed overseas.”

“I get it. But for now, you want to go somewhere…with me?”

He smiled, nodding his head, then he reached over placing a hand on my bare knee.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

 

I drove to the desolate road on the west side of the base. Already weeds were growing up in cracks in the asphalt paving showing the lack of use. The road made a hard right turn and I drove on until halfway down it. I pulled to the edge and stopped. Even with the windows down the interior grew hot very quickly but we were had our attention focused on each other. Hands on legs, rubbing and squeezing, then moving up until groping crotches. I felt his cock, how it stretched out and hardened with my manipulation. I slid down in the seat and spread my legs as far as possible, opening myself to his manipulation. I felt fingers dig into my crotch, work along my hardening cock until squeezing the head. I moaned and suddenly felt constricted.

I began to undo my jean shorts, button then zipper, and Jonathan did the same. We raised our asses at the same time and pushed jeans and underwear down our legs until over the knee and down to our ankles. I reached for his cock as he reached for mine. We stroked them until rock hard. My cock began to drool, and he smeared the slick over the head making me pump upward at the hips.

“Fuck,” I uttered.

We sat there sweating and breathing hard as hands stroked cocks. I wanted to suck his cock but kept hesitating. Some foolish notion of would it be going too far for Jonathan. Jonathan let me go, and he put his hand on the back of my neck pushing forward.

“Help me out,” he uttered.

I let him push me over and down to his cock. I took it, put that leaking cock head in my mouth and sucked the sweet nectar from it. Then I pushed down, taking inch after inch, until my nose was in flaming red pubic hair.

Up and down, I worked my lips on that cock. I tongued the head, noisily, with abandon. Then buried the cock back into my mouth until the head pushed at the back of my throat. Over and over, I worked my lips along that vein lined cock, then over the arrow shaped head. Far too soon, Jonathan shoved upward. He was pushed back in the seat and pushed upward again, and cum flooded my mouth. I swallowed wad after wad until he was spent.

I sat back and stroked my slick cock. So aroused I wanted to cum. Looking over, I saw Jonathan stroking a still hard cock. It glistened wetly in his hand, and I lusted after it again.

“You want to fuck me?”

“What? Are you serious? You’ll let me?”

The naivete and almost innocence was enduring. He didn’t think we would really go all the way. But I wasn’t satisfied, still horny as fuck, ready to fuck, desperate to fuck.

“Let’s get out,” I replied, slipping off my tank top tossing it in the back seat. I worked my shorts and briefs off each foot and climbed out naked. My cock stuck out and up, so hard if flexed up and down and drooled. I watched Jonathan finally climb out of my car, pull his t-shirt off, tossing it back into the car. His upper body had definition I had only seen on magazine covers. Body builder mags with shirtless guys showing massive pecs, flexing biceps and stomach ribbed with muscle.

Jonathan flexed his arms, sucked in his stomach revealing his muscular build. He was breathing hard, and his cock stuck straight out, hard as rock. He seemed ready to growl.

I moved around the front of my car to the front fender on his side. I put my hands on it, slid my feet back and apart, then looked over my left shoulder.

“Do it. Do it, put it in me.”

Jonathan moved up behind me and I held my head down seeing my own cock flex as I felt hands on my ass. The rubs, squeezes, then the pulling them apart to let his cock raked up and down between them. It touched my opening, once, twice, then three times, pressing against it. I pushed back and cried out as I stretched to take him. Inch after inch moved through my opening. I learned what was meant by pleasure/pain. The pain of entry and the pleasure of penetration. I pushed back as he pushed forward, until I felt him against my ass.

“Damn…you got me,” Jonathan uttered as his hands held my waist. He pushed against my ass as if he could sink deeper. As if he could get more of himself inside me.

I felt the sun on my back, the sweat trickling down my face, sides and back, and I felt Jonathan tug that cock until I thought he would slip free. Then he pushed it back into my depths. It was the start of his fuck, the slow build up of pumping that cock in my hole. I dropped to my elbows, hands flat on the warm hood, as he increased his pace until we were fucking.

With cock flopping between my thighs, Jonathan hammered my insides, smacked against my ass with varying rhythms, slow then fast then brutal. Physical. Masculine. I could feel his power, his strength as he thrust into my depths.  He grabbed me by the hair pulling my head up and back. My torso was arched back, cock sticking straight out, and Jonathan was pumping cock with a brutish pace.

“Jack off for me. Let me see you cum,” Jonathan uttered in my ear. Then he kissed the side of my neck and nipped at the skin.

I took my cock and stroked it as he held me pulled back. I felt my exposure. Naked, hard, so desperate for release. As cock pummeled my insides, I stroked my own. Sweat poured down my chest and back and down into my face. My body felt feverish, burning up, and every touch of flesh against flesh was burning hot.

“I’m going to cum,” I exclaimed.

Jonathan pulled my head back harder, causing my hips to thrust outward.

“Cum. Let me see you cum.”

I stroked as hard and fast as I could as cock piston in my hole. I felt the surge of release, how it made me shudder. Then I came. My cock spurt wad after wad as I kept stroking it.

“Fuck, yeah…shoot that cum,” Jonathan uttered right next to my ear.

I kept stroking until spent. Then Jonathan pushed me against the car, chest flat over the hood as a hand held me by the neck, pinned down. He fucked with a brutal pace, body smacking against body, until he cried out, jamming cock all the way into my hole and shuddering with release.

We stood in the hot sun, naked, cocks now flaccid. My cum trickled down the front fender and I saw him stare at it, mesmerized by it. I don’t know what made me say it, what devilish thing made me do it.

“Lick it off.”

He looked at me with a surprised questioning stare.

“Go on. Lick it off.”

He moved to the car, stooped down and I watched him lick every trickle of cum from the fender. Later on, I would wonder what other things I could have gotten Jonathan to do. It seemed he had been wanting to do more but was hesitant. Maybe some sense of what it meant to be masculine held him back. A foolish notion that I should have pressed.

 

I dropped Jonathan off on the base with no plans to meet again. I knew I gave him an opportunity to explore his sexuality, but he seemed reluctant, almost fearful, to go further. I wonder if he would have opportunities in the Navy to explore what he was hesitant to do with me. I hope so. I hope he finds the courage and freedom to do it.

For me, the summer was half over and I had sex with two guys. I didn’t think it could get any better. I looked forward to starting college at PJC, wondering if the guys would be different from Gavin and Jonathan. Would I find a guy more submissive, wanting me to take charge. There was an allure to it, this other role of sex between men. I wanted to experience it all. To explore every aspect. Gavin had been so open in either role, and Jonathan was obviously playing the role of top (I just questioned whether, or not that is what he really wanted). But what about someone more submissive, willing to cater to my needs first as a way of receiving pleasure for themselves?

 

A week passed, then another, and boredom set in. A restlessness that had me masturbating constantly. I was so horny, worse when I lay in bed thinking of sex with Gavin, then Jonathan. I began to think of going back to the hobby shop. At the mall, I browsed books in the bookstore and made eye contact with other guys. Most looked away, but a few smiled back in acknowledgment, but none followed me. I found myself following guys in the mall, around department stores, checking out round asses in jeans and lean or muscular bodies within tank tops or t-shirts. I once followed one of the Christian boys from that college of indoctrination. He had smiled at me when we crossed paths in the record store. I had been surprised to see him looking at Led Zeppelin, Elton John, ELO, and Pink Floyd. I thought it was considered the devil’s music, forbidden to them.

He left the store not buying anything, so maybe he just wanted to look at what he couldn’t have. I followed him all the way to the bookstore. Aisle after aisle, I watched him, not sure why or what I expected. Near the back, he finally looked my way and smiled again. Then he ducked into the men’s room.

I followed.

No one was at the lavatories, nor the urinals. I could just see under the stalls and saw him standing in the last one, feet right at the door. I knew it was risky, but I had to see if he was willing. I strolled slowly to the last stall and stood at the door, seeing him looking though the narrow gap.

“Hey, can I come in?”

The door swung inward as he stepped back making room for me. I moved into the stall, having to stand right next to him to allow room for the door to close. Face to face, I stared into his blue eyes. He looked so innocent, so naïve, I wondered if he knew what he wanted. I felt a tentative touch on my stomach, then another, until finally it moved down until touching my crotch. I touched him, through those nasty dark blue dress pants, cheap synthetic fabric that let me feel his cock. He was flaccid but as I hardened to his manipulations, he began to harden too. I tried to kiss him, but he turned away, then rested his forehead on my shoulder. He undid my jeans, spread them open, and slipped his hand down into my briefs. Skin against skin contact and we both moaned. I pushed by briefs down below my nuts freeing my cock and watched him stroke it. Slowly, with a hesitancy I should have taken note. I reached for his belt, slipped it free, then undid those dress pants until I could get them spread open. White boxer tented out, and I had my hand down in them touching that cock faster than he could ask for it. He moaned and pushed his cock through my fingers. That instinctual motion, primitive, so ingrained we don’t have to think about it.

“Will you put it in your mouth?” I asked.

I really thought I was asking too much of the guy. But he eased down, sitting on the toilet. I stood with my cock in his face watching him reach up and stroke it again.

“Go on, put it in your mouth. Please.”

He leaned forward and tentatively swiped his tongue over the head. He did it again, then I inhaled deeply as I watched the head then half the shaft sink into his mouth. He was rough, nipping at my cock with his teeth. But there was something about it. This obviously his first time (or he was always bad at sucking cock) but it turned me on, aroused me even more. To have someone so innocent in appearance, someone who portrays themselves as above mere human desire and need, sitting on a toilet sucking my cock was just perfect. It told me their judgments and ridicules were sanctimonious bullshit. I reached down and held his head while pumping my cock through those full lips, over that slick tongue, and into the back of his throat gagging him. Then I came. I shuddered as my cock erupted, spurting wad after wad into his mouth. It gushed out around my thrusting cock and down his chin, then I felt him finally begin to swallow it. Once he started, I didn’t think he would stop and release me.

Spent, but still hard, I stepped back leaning against the stall door.

“Stand up and turn around.”

“Why?” he asked as he got up and did as I ask. Was he really this naïve or did he just need to pretend to be so. Did he know the game he was playing with me? I stepped close, took him by the neck and pushed him to bend over. Using my other hand I pushed the white dress shirt and t-shirt up his back revealing his ass. I moved my hips raking my wet cock across the cheeks.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I think it is obvious. I want to put it in you.”

“I don’t know if I want to do that.”

I pushed him to bend over further, then put my cock to the exposed hole before me. I wondered if anyone had ever touched it before. Did he touch himself when masturbating. Did he even masturbate?

I gave a little push against his tightness then held my cock to it.

“You want me to stop?”

I gave him his out. A way to stop this if he didn’t want to do it. Seconds passed as I stood there with my cock pressed against his hole.

“You want me to stop?” I asked again.

“No.”

Damn he sounded almost pitiful, they way he uttered that one word. It was obvious he was gay, and I had no idea how desperate he had gotten to be willing to go this far. I held his waist and pushed.

“Relax and push back.”

 I felt the pressure on my cock, the push back to take me. I watched my cock breach that tight opening and sink into him. I slowly pushed, watching inch after inch sink into his depths. When I had half my cock in him, I held still, letting him get used to the penetration. I held his waist and leaned over and kissed the back of his neck.

“You feel so good,” I whispered.

“Really?” he uttered.

Damn, naïve bastard was lacking confidence.

I stood straight, tighten my hold on that narrow waist, and proceeded to fuck. I tugged outward, then pushed back in, sinking deeper and deeper until pressing against his ass. I built up a steady pace, pumping my cock to build my arousal, push myself to the limits, then paint his insides with cum.

I leaned over his back and reached around taking his cock. It was rock hard and dripping. I stroked him until my hand was slick and he was working his hips back and forth. I kept it up, desperate to get both of us off. The bathroom wasn’t safe, and I knew it.

I increased my pace, fucked as hard as I dared, while stroking his cock. He came first, shuddering and jerking beneath me. I heard him stifle a cry and I shoved into his depths and came.

 

The toilet seat was covered in cum and for a second we just stood close gasping for breath. Then it was like he woke up, suddenly seeing his surroundings. He pushed me against the stall door as he struggled to get his pants back up and dressed.

“Hey, relax. It’s okay,” I exclaimed.

But he pushed me to one side and left in a hurry.

I dressed, washed my hands and face, then left the bathroom. I strolled through the bookstore looking for him, knowing he was long gone.

For days I thought of that encounter. How it was so unsatisfying in the end. How that guy was so riddled with guilt, so ashamed of who he was as a person, it made me mad. I wasn’t exactly able to walk around openly, but that guy had been at a whole different level, one full of shame and guilt. Would he ever have any happiness in life? I knew for as long as he was in that church the answer was no.

 

It was the first of August, only three more weeks before my classes at PJC began, when I ran into my biggest surprise of summer. I was getting excited about starting for it would be a whole new phase of my life. I had not pursued anyone for a while, for there was the ten day vacation with the family in the mountains of Tennessee, then the running around getting ready for classes. Finally, there was the issue of my car breaking down during all of this. There was a moment of fear it was going to be too expensive to repair. Luckily it was some minor thing, but the car was in the shop for four days waiting for the part to come in. Either every Vega had the issue making the part scarce or mine was the only one to suffer this issue in the Gulf Coast. Either was plausible to me.

I was at the Kmart on Fairfield looking for new swim trunks. I hated the pair my mother had bought back in the spring and I was looking for a pair that were not out of fashion and ugly. I found a yellow pair, the legs short with the hem trimmed in dark blue.

“Are you going to the beach?”

I recognized the voice and looked up to see Ricky standing across from me. We had not been close friends in high school. We shared some of the same friends, were at the same parties, but Ricky was someone I never hung out with for he was always with the jocks, those that played baseball, for he played some position on the team. I think it was third base, but I wasn’t sure.

He was about my height, with a lean muscular build. One that spoke to him still being a teenager of eighteen. But the thing that most would say when describing Ricky would be the fucking perfect hair. Just over the ears and wavy and dirty blonde in color, it was something the girls in school had commented on constantly, and when they could get away with it, ran their hand through it. Looking into his blue eyes and a smile framed by dimples, I knew I’d run my hands through it too if given a chance.

“I was planning on going after lunch.”

“That’s a nice suit but don’t you have one?”

“Yes, but it’s ugly.”

“Your mom buy it for you?”

“Yep.”

“I’ve not been to the beach since the fourth.”

It sounded like he wanted me to invite him to tag along. I looked at this guy from high school, one I thought I knew, wondering if there was more than meets the eye.

“Bryan and Mark don’t go?”

“Hell, Sarah has Bryan wrapped around her finger, and Mark…I don’t know what he is up to since he got busted with the weed.”

“Mark got caught with weed?”

“Yes; you didn’t hear about it?”

“No.”

“I think his father has him grounded for the rest of the summer.”

“He’s eighteen and…”

“And his father is a cop.”

“Yeah, I can see how that might make things worse,” I replied, then looked at those swim trunks in their bright yellow color, then over the rack at the blonde headed specimen before me. “You want to go with me?”

“Yeah, I’ll go with you. You want to grab a burger, then run home to change. I can come by and pick you up.”

“You know where I live?”

“Your two doors down from Shelley Adams, right?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

 

I wondered about Ricky as I stripped then slipped on the trunks. He hadn’t been an obnoxious jock in school. In fact, he had always been nice, pleasant to be around. It was his friends that acted like a force field making me keep my distance. Mark had been the worst, calling any guy he didn’t like faggot and cock sucker. There were times I wondered if he was acting out to beat down his own desires. He wouldn’t be the first nor the last. I pulled a tank top on, one with thin straps and very loose fitting, slipped my feet into my flip flops and headed to the kitchen to pack the small ice chest. I put sodas and water in the bottom then dumped ice over everything. Sunscreen and a beach towel laid out, sunglasses slipped on, I was all ready to go.

I heard Ricky pull up to the garage. The loud exhaust on his old Bronco rumbling with every rev of the engine. I came out to find the top and doors were removed. Ricky climbed down coming my way.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes. Let me grab my ice chest and towel and we can take off.”

As I went back in to get my things, I pictured Ricky climbing down from his Bronco. Blonde, blue eyed and a skin tone that made his white tank top stand out. When he ran a hand through his hair pushing it back I saw how it lay perfectly, feathered back, full and wavy. I wasn’t sure going to the beach with him was a good idea, then I wondered why he was willing to go with me.

Back at his Bronco, he secured the ice chest in back as I stuffed my towel into a corner then climbed up into the passenger seat. The sun was hot and the air heavy with humidity. I was sweating in no time as I waited for Ricky to climb in so we could get moving.

He drove out to Scenic Highway overlooking Escambia Bay to the east and Pensacola Bay to the south. I would have taken Perry Avenue south through the neighborhood to Cervantes, but Ricky’s way wasn’t much longer and the view out over the water was perfect. There was nothing like the rippling surface of the bay with the sunlight reflecting off of it.

He followed the curve to the right where the road changed to Cervantes, and once over the bridge, turned left on 17th Avenue. It would take us under the low bridge where the railroad track passed overhead. A bridge always covered in graffiti, and this time I saw “Srs 77”, “S R loves A M”, and “Save the Planet” prominent over the previous graffiti.

One more turn and we were soon on the bay bridge, rising up toward its middle, then descending toward Gulf Breeze.

“Do we need to stop for anything?” asked Ricky.

“No, I’m good.”

“Then we keep driving.”

We drove through Gulf Breeze, exiting off 98 for the bridge to the barrier island that was Pensacola Beach. I assumed Ricky would pull in the main parking lot up ahead, the one at the main beach with its pier. But he surprised me by turning on Fort Pickens Road, heading west toward the park with its old fort and other fortifications.

“Where are you going?” I asked when he slowed to let a family cross the road.

“I thought we would go down to the beach in the park.”

“There won’t be as many people.”

“That’s right.”

So, Ricky didn’t want to be among the crowd of beach goers. He paid at the gate to the park property, then drove down the narrow two-lane road. At times we could see the bay to our right and the turquoise waters of the gulf to our left. We passed the first parking lot, then the next for beach access. I knew despite his four-wheel drive it was risky to drive on the sand. Illegal too. He was going to one of the access points, but which one I had no idea.

Battery Cooper Loop Road came up on the left and Ricky swing across the road to follow it. We passed a fortification and parking lot, then at the next, a few spaces off the loop road, Ricky pulled into a spot and killed the engine. There was only two other cars in this small lot but I knew visitors from the park campgrounds on the north side could bike or walk to this beach. We cut across the road and down a sand path that went by a mound of sand that we knew was artificial, one hiding a fortification.

Once past the low lying central stretch of the island with its sea oats and other native plants, we came to the beach. White sand and the turquoise waters for as far as the eye could see. To our left about a hundred yards away we saw a family playing in the sand and beyond them two people sunning. There were two more people in the water just out from them. To our right, there was no one within sight, and I followed Ricky for a short distance where he finally stopped.

“This looks good,” said Ricky as he tugged off his tank top revealing his upper body. I gave him a quick survey, then looked out over the water.

“It is nice out today.”

I tugged off my tank top and adjusted my trunks, retying the waist. “You want to go cool off first?” I asked as I dropped the tank top on my towel.

“Nah, I want to just chill out first.”

“Okay, suit yourself.”

I went down to the shoreline, not stopping until the water was waist deep. Then I dove into a low wave and swim out further. When I came up the water was up to my shoulders. It was almost warm, but still cooler than the air. I looked around for jellyfish, and once satisfied they would not be a nuisance on this day, I slipped under the surface and swam parallel to the shore.

After about fifteen minutes I waded up to the beach and back to where Ricky lay, propped up on elbows appearing to look down the beach. As I drew near I saw him turn to me and watch me come to my towel.

“I feels good, and I didn’t see any jellyfish.”

“Good.”

I toweled off feeling like Ricky was looking at me. His sunglasses were so dark I couldn’t tell, but when I laid out my towel and eased down on it, he turned his head away from me. Once seated I realized why he might have been looking at me. Once wet, the yellow shorts concealed very little and I could see where the head of my cock pressed against the fabric. Was he really looking at my cock?

 

We lay out for too long, then swam and horsed around in the water. We tried to dunk each other and at one point I felt his hand on my cock for just a second before Ricky jerked it away. An accident, no doubt, but it made me think of it, to consider the possibilities.

“Have you been on top of that?” Ricky asked, pointing at the mound of sand overgrown with stunted trees and brush, concealing the fortifications within it.

“A long time ago.”

“Come on, let’s go check it out.”

We strolled out side by side, up the wet beach, across the dry hot sand until we were at the artificial mound. We looked for a way up, but nothing was obvious.

“I remember having to go under the trees,” I said as I moved toward the north side. “Let’s try going up here.”

It wasn’t a trail, just an area clear underneath the low tree cover. But it allowed us to climb up until at one of the gun sites. We were twenty-five to thirty feet above the main grade with a grand view up and down the island.

“Wow, I didn’t realize you could see so far up the beach,” said Ricky as he looked west.

A Coast Guard helicopter flew by keeping a line parallel with the shore about a two hundred yards out. A child’s voice came from the family down the beach. A hand touched my back.

I froze.

It was so unexpected. Something I could not give hope of happening. But I felt fingers touch me. A gently tentative touch.

“Have you ever?” Ricky asked in a low whisper.

I hesitated, afraid to confess for he could be trying to trick me. Foolish thought, I know, but being rational was difficult when the repercussions could be life altering. But fingers stroked my skin, rubbed over a small area at the base of my back stroking my arousal, and in turn my courage.

“Yes.”

“Really,” Ricky uttered. “Will you show me? Do you think you could do it with me?”

Jesus, what a dumb question. Yes, yes, of course, but I didn’t want to sound so eager in my response. “Yes, I think so.”

Hands moved around my waist, then Ricky was up against my back. I closed my eyes to increase my awareness of touch. The warmth of his chest against my back, his crotch pressing against my ass, the hands rubbing up and down my stomach, then sliding down, underneath the waistband until touching me.

As fingers moved over my cock, it hardened. Then the fingers wrapped around it, stroking it as best as he could within my trunks.

I turned, forcing his hands out of my trunks until we were facing each other. He looked away, then back to me. I smiled and he smiled back. I reached out and touched him, groped his cock until I felt it flex. He reached out and touched me again. Then he was pushing my trunks down until the fell around my ankles.

My cock hovered between us.

“Will you?” I asked as I put a hand on his shoulder and pushed down.

Ricky stooped in front of me, holding my cock in his face staring at it until I began to think he wouldn’t do it. That he would chicken out. But then he stuck his tongue out and touched the head right at the slit. Then he did it again. Then he put his lips to the head and pushed forward.

I watched my cock disappear into his mouth. Then watched his head move back and forth. The feeling of those lips on my cock made my toes curl and hands ball into fists. I wanted to hold his head; I wanted to fuck his mouth but knew to let him set his own pace. It was agonizing how slowly he moved. Just slowly dragged his lips along my cock. I felt every inch of it.

“Jesus…don’t stop,” I uttered.

It seemed like such a long time, but I knew it was mere minutes and he had me on the verge of release. I pushed his head off my cock and got him to stand. It was my turn. I stooped before him tugging his trunks down as I went. His cock angled out half hard. I held on to his calves and angled my head down then up, mouth open to receive that cock. I took all of it, every inch, and sucked and manipulated it until it was fully erect and rock hard. I felt his calves flex as he tried to fuck my mouth. He was so aroused, so horny, I knew he was ready.

I stood and guided him to turn facing the low concrete wall. He put his hands on it and let me pull him by the waist to step back, angling that ass out. I stepped on his trunks and got one of his feet free, then kicked them apart. I moved up close, wiping my drooling cock across his ass cheeks, then rubbed it between them, up and down until he was wet.

“Will it hurt?” Ricky asked, looking over his right shoulder.

“If you don’t want to do it, it will. You want me to stop?”

“No; let me try.”

I wet my middle finger and rubbed that tight little opening, then I bore that finger into him. He moaned. His body shivered. Then he pushed back sinking my finger all the way.

I smiled, knowing he really wanted it. I worked the tightness out of the little opening. One finger, two, then three, I sank them into his hole and worked that tightness right out of him.

“Do it. Come on, do it. Put it in me.”

I pushed my cock down until it aligned with his opening, then I penetrated Ricky with his first cock. I took his virginity. Slowly pushed into his depths until pressed against his ass. He cried out. I could feel his body shudder within my hands as I held his narrow waist. I leaned over and kissed him between the shoulder blades, then along the right shoulder. When he looked back, I kissed him on the cheek thinking I was pushing the boundaries. But he turned his head some more and we clumsily kissed.

Standing tall, sun beating down on us, I began to fuck. A tug out then a push back in, all the way, over and over until I was in a steady fuck. I felt my exertion, the flex of muscle, the stimulation, through my cock and through my hands. So hot, I sweated, sweat trickling down my face and torso.

Ricky moaned and grunted and worked his ass back on my cock. It made me want to fuck him harder. I tightened my hold and increased my pace. Fucked harder, faster, banging against his ass. I kept it up, fucking until I was gasping for air, then I pulled out.

Ricky gave no resistance as I turned him around seeing his cock was still rock hard and dripping. I guided him down on the sandy ground, to his knees, then onto his back. Legs over my shoulders, I moved over him, and sank my cock into his depths and fucked.

I fucked him with a hard steady pace, thrusting down into that upturned ass until the sound of flesh smacking against flesh echoed in that small clearing. He moaned and grunted and dug fingers into my sides. I rose on my knees and held him by the ankles, spread wide apart and watched my cock piston in that loosened hole, his cock laying over his stomach smearing its slick, then him taking it in hand and stroking as fast as I fucked.

He came first. A cry out, gasping for breath, then jerking and shuddering beneath me as cum rained down on his chest and stomach. I shoved into his depths and kept trying to jam my cock deeper as I shot wad after wad into him.

 

We had been naked and messing around too long. We were within the trees and behind a concrete wall but still, we were in the open and anyone could have climbed up and caught us. We pulled up trunks and rushed back to the beach, not stopping until we were wading out into the water. It was refreshing, the coolness against our skin. When swam around, then went back to our beach towels. Laid out in the hot sun, we let it dry our skin.

“David?”

I looked over and saw he hadn’t moved, not even opening his eyes.

“Yeah?”

“You want to crash at my house tonight? My parents are going to visit an aunt and will be gone.”

“Serious?”

“Yes,” Ricky replied, finally opening his eyes and looking at me. “Will you stay with me tonight?”

“I’d like that.”

 

Ricky dropped me at home, then headed to his home. I showered and put on clean clothes, a white t-shirt and old jeans, then packed an overnight bag. I told mom I was crashing at a friend’s and rushed back out.

I drove up as his parents were pulling out. The big Mercury eased down the street as I turned into their drive. Parked in the back drive next to Ricky’s Bronco, I headed toward the open garage. The door within opened and Ricky stepped out, shirtless, wearing just cotton gym shorts. I looked at the now familiar body feeling a lust for it once again.

“Come on in. What do you want for dinner? Mom laid out hamburger meat for us to grill out.”

“That sounds good.”

Ricky made no pretension about us not sleeping together, leading me to his room to drop my bag. The room was exactly as I imagined. Baseball trophies sat on a shelf over a small desk. Photographs sat on one side the desk and a small record player on the other. A stack of forty-fives sat next to it and standing on end, a row of albums in the middle between bookends.

The room was blue, the curtains and bed spread a darker blue, as well the rug by the bed. A boy’s room by every definition. I knew there was no rush to get into those shorts for we had all night, but seeing him so close, barely dressed, waiting was out of the question. I dropped my bag on the floor and moved up behind him, holding him tight to my own body.

“You want to do it again already?” he whispered.

“Yes”, I replied as I pushed him toward the bed. He moved willing and when he climbed on it on his hands and knees, I grabbed those shorts by the waist and pulled them over his ass and down his legs. Jerking them off each foot, I tossed them on the floor. He lay on his back, and I moved between his legs and lay between them. I took his flaccid cock in my mouth and soon felt it getting longer, thicker, until rock hard.

As I sucked, I fingered that tight ass. One finger, then two, stretching the tightness from the opening. Then I slipped my arms under his legs and rose. Up and over his prone body, I folded him in half, lifting his ass, angling it upward for penetration. My cock dragged over his ass, and I pumped my hips pressing against it.

“Fuck me,” Ricky uttered.

Cock to that tight little opening, I pushed. Inch after inch sank into his depths until my hips pressed tight to his ass. I pushed against his ass trying to sink deeper. Then I began to fuck. To work my hips, tugging outward then shoving down into his ass, over and over, harder and harder, until the sound of skin smacking skin echoed in the room.

I hammered my cock into his depths, and didn’t let up until my muscles burned from my exertions. I slipped free and rolled to my back.

“Ricky,” I whispered.

Ricky moved as if in a trance. Eyes glassy, moving with determination. He straddled my waist, held my cock up, and sank his ass down on it. Then he moved up and down, riding me until his skin glistened wetly. I sat up and hugged him close to my chest, feeling his cock rake up my stomach.

“Fuck…take me,” I exclaimed as I pulled him down on my spurting cock. I shuddered and jerked with every ejaculation as Ricky kept trying to move up and down. Cum hit my chin, then roped up my chest.

 

It was so different, this waking in the middle of the night next to another. I felt him against my chest. The way he was breathing, the heat of his skin, the firm ass pressing against my erection. I moved him to his stomach hearing him moan. He stirred a bit.

“What are you doing?” Ricky asked in a sleepy voice.

“I’m going to fuck you.”

“Yes…fuck me,” he uttered as I moved over him.

I lay heavy on his back grinding my cock against his ass. Kissing his neck then along the shoulder, I slipped a hand underneath him fondling his cock. He undulated and moved, increasing our pleasure. His ass pushed upward increasing pressure on my cock until I had to get it inside him. I lifted up and worked my cock to his tight opening and pushed. The head squeezed through the tightness, then penetrated his depths. I moved slowly, working cock into his depths.

How long I fucked him I have no idea. In the dark of night, time had no meaning. We had all the time in the world. And I kept fucking, struggling to hold my slow pace for as long as I could. Eventually Ricky began to undulate beneath me with his arousal. I slipped arms around his torso and rolled to my side and kept fucking. I could feel his movement, how his right arm had that most familiar of moves, as he stroked his own cock.

“David…I’m going to cum,” Ricky uttered.

He shuddered, then jerked and pushed his ass onto my cock as he came.

The scent of cum filled the room, and I pushed into his depths and came.

 

I woke to being sucked. Ricky’s head moving up and down on my erection. I lay back and soon filled his mouth. After a shower and getting dressed, we drove over to a fast food joint for breakfast. We had to rush for it was nearly ten thirty. I went home where I spent the day thinking of my night with Ricky and all we had done. Things we would do as often as we could over the next couple of weeks. Then Ricky was gone, off to start his freshman year at a university while I found myself walking across the small campus of PJC to start my own college classes.

Over the course of the fall semester, I hooked up with either some lonely sailor boy or someone from the mall. It was almost a joke how easy it became once I knew what to look for in the other person. The look of longing or something more mischievous. The way I would cross paths with them over and over at the mall as if I was being followed. But none of it was serious. Nothing that involved an actual date. Dinner and a movie or some little adventure for an afternoon like going through the old fort on the island.

But everything changed the spring semester. It was when I met my first boyfriend. A lanky farm boy from the north end of the county by the name of Peter. I think being able to come down to Pensacola away from his home, this small farm community where everyone knew everyone else’s business, gave him the courage to open up. My parents thought he was just a new friend, but near the end of the my second year, prepared to go to Mississippi in the fall, we officially broke up, knowing we were going in different directions. He was going to Florida.

As sad as it was, it was also a new phase of my life, a college student living on campus. It was hard at first, but I eventually settled into a routine that seemed so different from going to PJC. And I met Raymond, Jerry, Douglas, and Rodney.

 

---

 

I think back on those times, the boys I met and how each were special to me. I think of how we lived, as openly as we dared, but always keeping up appearances out in public. No hand holding, no kisses, not even a simple gesture of affection. Not like it is now for some.

I would be thirty-three before I met Phillip, the person that would be a part of life till present day. We’ve talked often about how our lives as teens had experiences that were so different, he going through the Air Force, then college. We talked of our first experiences, how naïve we were about so many things, but the exploration of our sexuality, and in turn who we were as a person was such an unique experience for the two of us. Our friends would tell of their own and it seemed no two were alike.

Are there things I wished I had done differently? Yes, of course. I wished I could have talked more openly about our fears and insecurities with the guys I met that summer and during my first semester. There were two Navy boys that seemed so lost I wish I had known how to talk to them. But alas we were all just teenagers.

But there are no regrets, for I can’t allow myself to fret over those moments when things might have been different. Our life isn’t perfect. We still have a mortgage, car payments and jobs that don’t pay enough in our opinions. But we don’t suffer the indignity of going to bed hungry or suffering a major illness or living somewhere we would still have to hide our marriage. So, we’re living our lives, laughing, crying, a few disagreements along the way, and each day sharing the responsibility of daily living.