The New Kid

The smell of the locker room nauseated me; I hated PE class for so many reasons. My lack of athletic skills made me the butt of jokes and name-calling. At my old school, I had joined the swim team. At least I was a decent swimmer, and I had been getting better at diving. There was no swim team here, so I was stuck in a regular PE class--the last period of the day. Even on days when I did as little as I could get away with, I was hot and sweaty. The showers were filthy, so I always hurried home after school to clean up. It was a two-mile walk, well almost two miles, and not risking catching some fungus was well worth waiting for my shower.

I stuffed my books into my hall locker and headed for the gym. The halls were crowded, yet I felt alone. I wished there were room in my gym locker for me to take the books I want to take home, but there’s barely enough room for my clothes. As I made my way to the locker room, I noticed a student I hadn’t seen at school before. The new guy caught my eye; he nodded and smiled. I nodded back. He looked a lot like someone I had seen riding his bike down my street. I sometimes wondered why I never saw him at school.

I hurried to my locker and changed into my blue gym shorts and a white t-shirt. I didn’t need to change my shoes.

“I’ll put you in this locker.” It was the coach’s voice. He was putting the new guy in the locker next to mine. “Fessler.”

The coach never got my name right, but I knew he was talking to me. “It’s Ferris, sir.”

“Of course, Ferris, show Oliver here the ropes. He’s behind you in the line.” With that, Coach Garner walked off.

I turned to Oliver who had already started to change. “My name’s Jeff,” he said as he pulled down his pants and slipped into his gym shorts.

“I’m Donald. Nice to meet you.”

Jeff began to unbutton his shirt. When he had finished folding it, we walked into the gymnasium. I showed him where I sat. “I guess you sit there,” I pointed and took my place. “Once he takes the roll, he’ll tell us what we’re going to do today, but we’ll be playing baseball because it’s not raining.

“You don’t sound excited about that.”

“I’m not. The program here stinks. It’s football, basketball, baseball. Nothing else. I suck at everything except swimming. My eye doctor says my eyes don’t align quite right, so I don’t have good depth perception.”

“It’s too bad there’s no swimming here.

I nodded. “I was on the swim team back home.”

“You sound as though you want to go back there,” said Jeff.

“Kind of, but it won’t be the same.”

“Yeah,” agreed Jeff. “I know what you mean, but I’m thinking this place might be OK now that I’ve made a friend.” He reached forward and gave me a pat on the shoulder.

I turned and looked back at him. I gave him a nod. But I wondered why someone like Jeff would want to be my friend. He’s athletic, good looking, and friendly. He’s going to have hundreds of friends by the end of the week. I’m nobody, and if anybody finds out I’m gay, the other guys will tease and bully me. I wrapped my arms around my knees and looked up at the coach.

I planned to walk the track rather than embarrass myself trying to play baseball. Jeff insisted that I play. He was a natural. He smacked the ball for a home run with his first-time at bat. I went to the outfield and stood behind first based. I’d learned that with the extra players in the outfield, this was the best place to avoid having a ball hit to me. I spent most of my time watching Jeff instead of watching the ball.

When the coach called us back inside, the other guys commented on how good Jeff was. I wasn’t surprised. I was surprised when he walked up to me and put his arm on my shoulder. “We just need to get you some more practice,” he told me. “Your stance and bat position can be improved.

The warm touch of his arm sent a tingle through me. I looked up at Jeff, and he smiled at me. Maybe it was just an attraction. I hoped it wasn’t the start of something more, but I heard myself saying, “If you think it would help, I’m willing.”

“Do you ride the bus home?” Jeff asked as we neared the building.

“No. I walk home usually.”

“Me, too. Whereabouts do you live?”

I pointed toward the northwest. “I live that way, just off of Mitchell.”

“I live on Plum, on the other side of Mitchell.”

I stopped.

“What is it?” asked Jeff.

“I live on Apple; that’s just one street over.”

Jeff smiled again. “I knew we were going to be best buds. Let’s get changed.”

The two of us walked to my hall locker so I could get my math book and notebook. We worked our way through the crowds leaving school and headed across the railroad tracks to the park. I kept watching Jeff’s lips as he told me about the private school he went to until last week. There was a scandal at the school; I remembered hearing about it on the news. His lips seemed perfectly sized. He occasionally licked his lips, and that sent a tingle to my groin. Maybe this was just lust. But I started to memorize everything about him.

***

For the next week, we walked together until we reached my street. We’d say good-bye, and I’d watch him walk away. Sometimes, he would turn around to look at me. He would always smile and wave. I’d hurry home after that, hoping that no one was home. My little sister and brother along with my mom would be there. No privacy for me. I’d do my homework and then watch my siblings for an hour or so. That’s how I earned my allowance. She always appreciated the time to herself. My dad always came home at about eight in the evening. He’d play with the kids for a little while. He had his dinner after they went to bed. I was allowed to stay up a little longer, but I usually went to my room.

Before he sat down to eat, my father would always ask me how things were going. I usually told him that everything was fine. Tonight when he asked me, he said, “Find a boyfriend yet?”

It surprised me, but it shouldn’t have. Three years earlier, my dad sat down with me for a serious talk. I thought it would be about sex, and I’d already heard all the nasty details from the guys at school. That’s not what he wanted to talk about. I remember clearly how he looked at me and said, “I’ve noticed that you don’t talk about girls the way most of the boys your age do.”

I felt a lump in my throat.

He continued, “I want to tell you about your Uncle Timothy.” Tears formed in his eyes. “When we were teenagers, I suspected that he was into guys. Actually, I knew. I’d seen him kiss his best friend when he thought no one was around. I should have said something to him.” Tears began to roll down his face. “The day he told my father, my father beat him and told him to get out of the house.” My dad buried his face in his hands. “Tim went into my parent’s bedroom and killed himself with my dad’s gun.” His sobbing became uncontrollable.

I reached over and put my hand on my dad’s shoulder. I was shocked. I knew my uncle had died when he was a teenager, but I always thought it was a traffic accident.

My dad pulled me into a hug. “I want you to know that you can always tell me anything. Anything at all, do you understand me?”

“I understand,” I told him. “I always have. I love you, dad.”

“I love you, too, Donny.”

“And I wasn’t sure when I was going to tell you, but now seems like a good time. I don’t think about girls. I do think about boys. I think about them all the time.”

“Well, then we should talk about safe sex. I know you’ll meet someone you’ll want to have sex with, maybe even someone you love. I know that parents don’t want to think about their kids having sex, but you must know how to keep yourself safe.”

Together, the two of us did an Internet search. My father told me, “When you need condoms and lube, let me know. I’ll buy them for you.” He turned to me and smiled. “I’m not going to buy you any of those toys; however, you’ll have to use your hand like men have been doing for centuries.”

I felt myself turn red, and he started to laugh. I hugged him again. I knew I was lucky when it came to great fathers.

When my dad asked me whether I had a boyfriend yet, I responded, “I’m not sure.”

“Sit down and tell me about it.”

We sat at the dinner table, he took a bit of food and nodded at me.

I took a deep breath. “There’s a new guy at school named Jeff, and I like him more than I’ve liked other friends. He seems to like me, too, but he hasn’t said anything.” My bottom lip started to quiver. “I want him to like me.” My eyes got teary.

“Donny, what you’re feeling is normal, for gay and straight guys both. Everyone hopes a person he has feelings for will like him back. Sometimes it works out. If it doesn’t and your heart gets broken, remember that all of us here love you.”

“I will.” Then I went to bed. I stared at the ceiling and imagined borrowing the car and going on a date to the movies. I imagined Jeff and I holding hands the way that guys and girls do. Then we drove to the beach and played in the water. I held my spare pillow close to me and pretended that it was his body pressed up against me. I felt a pressure building in my groin, and I reached down and relieved it.

Several times, as Jeff and I walked home from school, I tried to work up the courage to tell him how I felt, but fear of what he might say continued to discourage me. I thought that if I asked him if he had the hots for anyone at school, I might open him up to talking about it. So far, he was talking about girls or guys for that matter. But then, neither was I.

On a Thursday afternoon, Jeff invited me to come over the next day to play video games. He suggested that I stay overnight, so I wouldn’t have to walk back in the dark or have someone pick me up, even though it was just one street over. I immediately said yes. I knew my parents would be ok with it, but then I started to worry that I might do something to ruin our friendship. I would have to be on my toes to keep from doing something stupid.

That evening I told my parents about going over to Jeff’s house after school and spending the night. I apologized to my mom about not being able to watch the kids if I did. She was cool about it. My dad came into my room after he ate dinner and asked me whether I had packed some clothes for my first overnighter. I had.

“Here’s a little gift for you,” he handed me a small black zippered pouch.

“What is it? Booze?” I laughed.

He smiled, “It’s better than booze. It’s so you can play safe; that is, if you get the chance.” He leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead.

“I love you, dad.”

“I love you, too. Sleep tight.” He closed the door as he left.

I immediately unzipped the bag. There were two kinds of condoms in the bag, and something labeled silicone lubricant. There was also a note inside. “I didn’t know which size you needed, so I got both. Love, D.”

“Best Dad Ever,” I said. Then I put the bag in my travel bag and fell asleep with a smile on my face.

I went to school carrying my travel bag; I put it in my hall locker, but I kept thinking about it. What if Jeff wanted to see what I brought. If he saw the rubbers, would he get upset, or would he be glad? I was sure we wouldn’t need them; after all, I didn’t even know whether he liked me that way. If I told him on the way home, would I end up going home instead of his house?

“Shit,” I said out loud in math class. We were all working silently on some problems, and I looked up to see if anyone had noticed. Of course, everyone did. Please, I hoped, no detention.

“The problems aren’t that hard, are they, Donald?” asked Mr. Howard.

I looked up at him. He was walking toward me, and he was smiling.

He put his hand on my shoulder. “Try to keep your excitement under control.” Several of the other kids laughed.

“Sorry,” I muttered.

“Wait until you get into some of the more advanced math, like Discrete Math. Believe me, I’ve said worse than that.” Again, some of the kids laughed.

I smiled up at him and went back to work.

The day finally ended, and we were on our way. Jeff had spent the lunch hour explaining to me how we were going to team play his favorite video game. I was feeling nervous; I kept twirling my bag around. Should I tell him? Should I just sit close to him and see what happens. In one of my fantasies, we were sitting so close that our legs touched from hip to knee. I turned to look at him, and he looked at me. He leaned closer, so I leaned closer until our lips touched. Would that happen while we played the video game?

“What’s up with you?” Jeff asked.

“Me? Nothing. Nothing really. Maybe a little nervous. I want to make a good impression on your parents.”

“My parents are gone for the weekend. It’ll just be you, me and my brother Paul.”

“But,” I interjected, “my parents think that yours will be there.”

“Paul is in college, and he’s responsible. He’ll be there all weekend.”

I knew I should tell my parents, but I didn’t want to be told to go home. “OK,” I told him, and I saw Jeff smile. The butterflies in my belly took flight. ‘Please God,’ I thought, ‘let him tell me that he loves me, at least a little.’

We kept walking along the trail that led us to our subdivision and Jeff’s house. It looked just like mine, but it had a different color of brick. Jeff opened the door, and we were met with a cool rush of air.

“Put your books there, and we’ll take care of them later.” Jeff put his backpack on a shelf by the door, and I did likewise. “We can put your bag in my room.” I followed Jeff to his room. His bedroom was in the same place mine was except that his bedroom was immaculate; I could see it in one of those house magazines. I put my bag on his dresser, and we went out into the living room.

A tall, thin man with dark hair entered the room. He was shirtless, exposing his hairy chest. Scruffiness indicated that he hadn’t shaved that morning. His facial features resembled Jeff’s. He had a tattoo on his arm that I couldn’t quite make out.

“That’s my brother Paul,” said Jeff.

Paul raised his hand. “Hello,” he said while looking at me. His eyes turned to Jeff. “So is this the boyfriend you can’t stop talking about?”

I saw the blood drain from Jeff’s face.

Boyfriend. Jeff had used the word boyfriend to talk about me. I felt my heart begin to beat faster.

Jeff began to stammer. “I… I… I can’t believe you did that.” His eyes teared up, and he turned and ran to his bedroom. The door slammed shut.

“Fuck,” said Paul. “He said he was going to tell you.”

I stood motionless. Jeff has feelings for me. Or am I being punked? I turned to Paul. “I don’t understand. What did he say about me?”

“Jeff’s been talking about you non-stop since the first day he started at that school. I’ve known he was gay for a few years now even though he never said anything. So I asked him whether you were a friend or if you were more than a friend. He told me you were more, or at least he hoped you were. He said he was going to tell you and then invite you over.”

“He didn’t say anything. But then, I have feelings for him, and I didn’t say anything either.”

“I should go talk to him,” said Paul.

“No,” I stopped him. “I need to talk to him.”

***

I stood in front of the closed door and took a deep breath. I knocked; no answer, so I slowly opened the door. “Jeff?” He didn’t respond, but I could hear the sound of the shower running in the bathroom that was shared with the next bedroom. There was a pile of clothes on the chair next to the bathroom door. I removed my clothes and placed them on his; then I stepped into the bathroom.

Jeff’s head was under the spray of water; I could hear gentle sobbing.

“Jeff.”

He turned and faced me. I could see his nude body through the shower curtain. He didn’t move. I stepped to the shower, pulled the curtain open, and stepped inside. I moved my hand to Jeff’s head and ran my fingers through his wet hair. “It’s OK,” I whispered. I moved closer until my lips touched his.

He pressed his lips more tightly to mine. It was my first real kiss. I found out later that it was his first kiss as well. I placed my hands on each side of Jeff’s head as I opened my mouth and let his tongue explore.

Jeff’s hands moved down my back until they reached my waist. He pulled our bodies together. I felt his chest against mine. His abs were pressed against my abs. I felt myself get hard, and I felt Jeff’s hardness push itself between us. He began to kiss my ear. I felt his tongue circle the outside of it, and then he ran the tip down my jawline. I felt the blood rush into my penis to harden it even further. “I love you, Donny. I think I did from that first day.”

“That’s the way I feel, Jeff. I’ve been afraid to tell you, but I know I love you, too. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

He kissed me again, hard and passionately. “I’ve imagined the two of us coming here after school and getting all lathered up and lying together naked on my bed, and doing… things.”

I smiled. “Then let’s start lathering.”

We lathered up and cleaned off the grime of the school day. I think we spent too much time making sure our dicks were cleaned. Jeff whispered that he wanted us to make sure we washed our butt cracks. As I was washing Jeff’s, he started to moan each time my fingers went over his asshole.

I was surprised when he asked, “Put your finger in me.”

I remembered that sometimes while I was playing with myself, I would have the urge to push something inside my ass, and I knew that the condoms were in case we decided to have anal sex, but I had never thought about using a finger. I started to push my finger in. I was glad I had trimmed my fingernails yesterday after school. I was glad my mother had made me trim and file them.

“Use some spit on your finger; it will go in more easily.”

I did as he asked.

“Yes,” he exclaimed between clenched teeth. “Do it; put it in. All the way.”

I got more excited about sliding my finger in him.

“Oh, Donny, fuck me with your finger.”

The dirty words made my dick jump. Jeff bent forward a little more, and my finger felt something firm about two inches inside him. Jeff let out a squeal of pleasure as my finger pushed on it to figure out what it was.

“Fuck yeah. That’s the spot. Keep doing it.”

I continued to finger him, and I reached up between his legs and grabbed his dick. I started to rub it while my finger massaged the bump I found in his butt. I wasn’t very coordinated, but Jeff didn’t complain. About a minute later, he was spewing sperm all over the shower floor. He grabbed the towel rack to keep his balance.

“I’ve never felt anything like that,” he told me. “I want to do that for you.”

“The water’s starting to get cold. Let’s dry off and get under the covers. I’ll let you do whatever you want.”

We toweled off, and just as we were finishing, I heard a rapping at the door to the other bedroom.

“Hey, man.” It was Paul. I need to piss.

I ducked into the bedroom, and Jeff unlocked the door with a towel around his waist. The door opened, and Paul stood in the opening. “I take it you’re OK.”

“Yeah. Everything is fine.”

“I thought so. When Donald said he needed to talk to you, and he didn’t come back out, I figured that you were working things out.”

“It turns out that I didn’t need to be so worried. He cares about me, too.”

“I’m happy for you, baby brother. Now, I need to take a piss, so if you don’t mind.”

Jeff left the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He latched it and turned to see me lying naked on the sheets, holding the bed open for him to join me. He sat down next to me and put his hand on my chest before circling my nipples with his index finger. “You know, they say that first loves are just puppy loves and that one of us will break the other’s heart.”

“I know. My dad told me that something like that might happen, but then he met my mom in middle school.”

“Your dad? Your dad knows about me?”

“Hold on, Jeff.” I went to my bag and retrieved the little black bag my dad had given me. “My dad has known that I’m gay for a few years. He knows that I met someone special.”

“I haven’t told my parents. That’s why I waited until they were out of town. I know that Paul won’t say anything. But your dad knows. Wow.”

I sat down next to Jeff. “My parents are going to like you; I know it. My dad gave me this bag in case I found out that you liked me as much as I like you.”

“What is it?”

“It’s a play safe bag.”

“A what?” Jeff unzipped the pouch and examined the contents. He looked at me disbelievingly.

“So, if you love me as much as I love you, and you want to fuck me, you can. And if you want me to fuck you, I can.” I looked into Jeff’s eyes. “Part of me wants to, but part of me says we’re not ready.”

Jeff leaned over and kissed me. “I trust you. I’ve watched porn, and I’ve fantasized about your dick being inside me. But maybe we should, I don’t know, do other stuff first.”

I smiled. He was as nervous as I was about putting our penises inside each other. His dick looked a bit bigger than mine, and mine was a lot bigger than my finger. There were other things I wanted to do. The condoms would still be there when we wanted them. “I want to kiss every part of your body.”

“Every part?” Jeff made a sound between a giggle and a chuckle. “Where do you want to start?”

I stood up and moved between his legs. I pushed him back onto the bed. “Right there.” I pointed to his left nipple, and I moved down so that my mouth landed right over it. I kissed it then sucked on it. His nipple got hard and moved forward. I flicked it with my tongue.

Jeff moaned in response. “Oh, that feels so good.”

I ran my tongue to his other nipple and repeated the process. He was so sensitive to every touch of my tongue. I licked up to his neck. His entire body shuddered beneath me. I kissed his Adam's apple and continued kissing down to his navel. I felt his cock swell and thicken. I grabbed it with my hand and put it in my mouth. It seemed so natural to lick it and suck it. I moved my mouth up and down as his shaft became more rigid. The precum from the tip seemed to taste better than mine.

His balls were next. I pulled them into my mouth one at a time and swirled the tip of my tongue around each. I moved from there to his taint and then on to his ass. He clenched his fists into tight balls. I kissed his pucker and tongued the circumference. My cock was swollen and hard, and I realized that the doubts I had just minutes ago were now gone.

“I was wrong. I am ready. I want to be inside you.”

Jeff pulled a condom from the bag. “Here. I don’t want to wait. Put your cock in me.”

As I tore open the package and slipped the condom on, Jeff put lubricant on the outside of his hole and then onto my now wrapped penis. I pushed my cock against his hole. He pulled his ass cheeks apart. Something didn’t seem quite right. My dick didn’t seem to want to go in. I pushed it down again, and it seems to just slide past the opening. I tried again, and the head of my cock popped inside of him.

Jeff let out a gasp.

I continued to push. Jeff emptied his lungs by blowing air out rapidly, and my penis slid into him. The feeling was incredible. Instead of having pressure in just one place as when your dick is in your hand, the pressure surrounds the entire rod. What followed were two urges. The first was the desire to kiss Jeff; I stretched forward and our lips met. His tongue darted into my mouth. I began to suck on it.

The second urge was to begin thrusting in and out of Jeff’s ass. It was almost as if I didn’t have control over myself. The pleasure was indescribable. I wanted to push myself completely inside of him, and when I was in up to the hilt. I couldn’t escape the need to pull out so that I could plunge back in again. I found that I was increasing the speed with each thrust.

Somehow I had pinned Jeff down with my arms over the backs of his knees and my hands pulling his shoulders up to me. I could not stop kissing him when suddenly I thrust into him and unloaded my seed. I shuddered twice and then my body went limp.

As I caught my breath, Jeff whispered. “Stay inside me. I have this feeling like I am filled with you. I don’t want it to stop.”

We stayed that way for a minute or so, but as my breathing became more normal, I felt my dick soften. I reached down to hold the condom as I slipped out of him.

“Jeff, in my wildest imagination, I didn’t expect it to feel that wonderful.”

“I felt it when you came; I could tell that you were squirting your load inside me. I want you to hold me.”

I held him, and even when drowsiness overcame us, I still held him.