The Consequences of Envy

When I entered the foyer to wipe all in that area I noticed a bronze statue upon a pedestal. It was of David, standing upon the dead Goliath head.

It was a well done copy. I recognized it from an art book. It was originally by Donatello. It looked to me as I thought I’d looked, in the full length mirror, my baby fat not yet burned off, and nipples fat; minus the chaps on me, and minus bonnet like hat upon David. He stood proudly with small dick and all, as I sort of looked those proportions; yet, importantly his foot was firmly planted upon the defeated monstrous head of Goliath.

It occurred to me I could still surmount these unfair difficulties; being made to feel I was a queer by this ‘Goliath’, no matter the disadvantages; who knows what he ultimately intends for me.

Still, the statue was beautiful to me in another way too; could I actually feel pride in being a homosexual; stand proudly; as a desirable boy, to these big men, and get what I wanted to their cost, not mine?

It is clear to me I want more sex with big muscled men after watching him work. I wanted to fall in love again too, as I was with Steve.

The man came in and interrupted my revere; and, he told me not to touch the bronze with the bleach soaked rag, as the blackish patina would be destroyed, and make it look like a shiny penny. He explained that patinas are mixed using piss. I rolled my eyes thinking this was a joke but learned later some patina effects on bronze do use urine.

‘’ You know, it reminds me a bit of you, your stance, when you stood today in the Healey, teasing that trucker,'' He said. 

‘’BTW, Go back to your room, and put on that black collar that hangs upon the coat rack. I want  you to wear that collar around the house from now on.’’ He said, gazing upon the statue.

‘’Am I now to be your dog?’’

Expecting another slap, I winced; but, he simply said it’d be sexy; and, he’d like it on me, because he was my master now; and, that’s how it's done across the country — with boys wearing collars who pleased the men who own them.

‘Seriously?’ I thought. Was this going on across the country? Am I now a property to this man?

As if reading my mind he said he'd show me magazines devoted to the subject and how leather groups established the practice -- among other practices with slaves he'd show me.

I stripped the yellow dish gloves and complied. I went to the bed room, attached the leather dog collar around my neck, and looked in the mirror, naked but for the collar.

‘‘Great start’’ I said aloud; feeling conquered; yet, liking the look too, of the black collar sitting high upon my long neck.

I proudly walked back to the foyer to display it for him, sporting a boner and a teasing smile.

''None of that fem mincing stuff, please'' he said, as he towed me by my skinny hand into the next room. 

He stripped naked, and in the living room he tossed a pillow from a couch to the floor.

He told me to kneel in front of him and suck his cock.

His was the best cock yet to suck; though, I did think of Steve. I started by way of giving his 9 inch long shaft and thick cock long licks. I felt and rubbed upon his hairy belly as a cat might with slow deep pushes, loving the texture and kink of his washboard stomach. I seemed to mentally enter into a needed submission and obeisance, where I became servile and desperate, sucking and licking; wanting his cum, his blows even; wanting, his ownership. I surrendered.

He sat and grasped my sensitive hormone inflated nipples as I sucked; but, though firm, yet more gentle this time. My anus too was in the act as the dildo was still up it. The hole lips squeezing, pulsing upon the hard thick shaft -- and, it slid out and plopped to the floor after a few minutes, leaving a gape that was relieving to it yet, needed filling, again, craving flesh. 

I grasped around his neck and wrapped my white legs about his waist, seeming a small hairless thing to his larger tanned hairy girth; and, I teased his cock head with my greasy crack, sliding back and forth along ass crack, till seated squarely upon my wanton hole. 

I then pushed down and impaled myself deliciously upon it, all the way. His body; defined muscles and heavy boned build, seemed heaven  -- in the arms of Jupiter himself.

I looked up upon his face in submission, drew to it with my own, and kissed his lips. He opened his mouth and conquered mine with his tongue. I hunched till feeling his load, a second time this day, fill me.

                                                                           ————

He wouldn’t let me cum. He told me he wanted me horny for later; but when he allowed me to bathe I jerked my dick as hot water rinsed my tired dirty body, and I shot quickly. I marveled at this new great bodily feature.

If you are a good boy you can watch my color TV tomorrow with me; there are some great shows in color now. Have you ever seen a remote control?’’ He held up the remote, with a long wire to the back of the set, proudly; saying it could automatically change the channels without having to get up from the chair. I did look forward to playing with it.

He put me back in the bed room and locked the door; obviously with no more trust of me than I had of him -- even though I had completely just surrendered to him.

‘’ How did he figure I did not have a color TV in my own house’ — with a remote?’ I wondered, Stu had certainly figured I was a rich [70 YO]kid. All the others at my school had them. One boy even had a heated indoor pool.

Did he really speak with my mother; and if so, what did she tell him? I was having some tensions with her, and wondered if she was willing to think of him as a way to deal with her issues with me. 

Our TV was an an old Motorola black and white with a very grainy picture.  We couldn’t even afford a large cabinet black and white. We certainly couldn’t afford these new color TVs with remotes.

                                                                   ———

I lived with my mother and brother in a three bedroom ranch in Brookhaven that my grandfather had helped her get; or rather, he owned — where I suspected he really bought the house as an investment. Other wise we’d have been living in a working class area in some apartment.

I hadn’t seen my dad since around the time I’d seen Steve.

I recall dad telling me then, when he was drunk, that my mother had emasculated him, and he was moving away as far as he could get. She had surprised me with her ability to be cruel.

I recall my dad followed that with a long lecture of the importance to not be confused of sex, and not to become a queer; since it was wrong; yet, he admitted he'd had sex with a neighbor boy across his street as a teen, and stopped that nonsense before he liked it too much. Sex was only between a man and woman — even if mother had destroyed his integrity and self worth, he'd told me. 

‘Did my parents know of my affair with Steve?’ I now wondered.