The Body Remembers

I first met Josh on my first day of kindergarten, when we both must have been about 5 years old. We both arrived at the same time, and our mothers politely greeted each other as we all waited to meet the teacher.

While the adults were exchanging pleasantries, we were eyeing each other up and down. He was slightly chubby, with olive skin, greenish-brown eyes and dark brown hair that would (I learned later) turn lighter in the summer months. I had similar dark features, but with lighter hair and a slighter build. We were assigned to the same class, but didn’t speak a word to each other that first day – only stealing sideways glances, while getting to grips with our new environment.

Over the next year or so, we became close buddies and were always seen having fun together or larking around. He was quite a mischievous little lad, while I was more obedient and reserved in general. But hanging out with him was fun and we would inevitably get told off by our teacher for being too active, too eager, too this or too that.

By the end of kindergarten, we were inseparable and luckily ended up going to the same Primary School, for we both lived in the same neighbourhood. Unfortunately we did not end up in the same class again, but made up for lost time with plenty of after-school play dates, either at his house or at mine.

One afternoon we were playing in their garden, when he looked around shiftily, before pulling me in behind some large Rhubarb leaves that, once inside, formed a natural tent-like shelter. He told me this was his secret spot, where once inside we had to share a secret with each other. With a crooked grin he looked me in the eye and said: “You first.”

After offering up that the other day I accidentally broke off one of my Dad’s prized Fish Tail Palm’s leaves, he looks at me disappointedly and said: “That’s a really boring secret. Come on Jonny, you’re gonna have to do better than that!” Thinking long and hard that felt like forever, biting on my lip as I thought, looking into his eyes that seem to twinkle with naughty anticipation, I at last offered up that I enjoyed rubbing myself on a pillow or cushion when no one was around, and that I got a strange burning sensation down there when I did…

Expecting him to ridicule me, he stared at me in shock for a few seconds, probably not quite expecting such a leap in revelations, before he broke into one of his trademark grins, and said “Well, that’s a good one! But mine’s better…” and continuing in a whisper: “I sometimes smear peanut butter on my willy, then let the dog lick it off…”

I was slightly repulsed by the image in my head, and it was my turn to stare at him in a state of shock. We got out from the Secret Spot and continued playing with our toys in the garden, each lost in his own thoughts.

But somehow that was a catalyst to what would soon become our exploratory play date (and later sleepover) games that would play out behind closed doors, under makeshift bed-sheet tents, in garden sheds and cellars for a couple of years to come.

*     *     *     *

As we got older, we saw less of each other and we eventually moved onto different circles of friends. With the onset of puberty things changed more, as he sky rocketed into a tall muscular mini-giant with fluffs of armpit hair and a detectable moustache on his upper lip. I, on the other hand, also grew taller, but stayed skinny, and was nowhere near as fast at developing as him. We still saw each other at school every now and then, and would politely nod hello with an eyebrow lift, but no more than that.

The last time I saw him during this time, was when we went on a school camping trip where the boys and girls would go separately to different nature areas outside the suburbs for a weekend as a sort of survival/scouts/you-are-young-men kind of gig. I hated this sort of excursion, as while I loved nature and being outside, the strict authoritarian structure of these events didn’t really agree with me. It always felt more under-aged army camp than anything else. On that Friday morning, all the boys piled into a bus, and on our way we went to wherever is was we were going to go and learn about being “a young man”.

Shortly before our arrival at the site, there was a commotion at the back of the bus with boys crowding around the back seat, elbowing their way in to have a peek, while at the same time egging something on... I looked back down the aisle to see what was happening. Just then the crowd abruptly parted (a bit like Moses and the Red Sea) to reveal none other than Josh, sat in the middle of the back seat, confidently stroking his surprisingly large olive-toned cock, poking out above his waistband that he was pushing down with his left hand.

My eyes widened and my mouth fell open with surprise, when simultaneously he gave a low grunt and shot a small line of white down the aisle in the bus. At this, all the boys cheered, squirmed or laughed, while I was left speechless, turning forward in my seat again, thinking that this is not the first time Josh is leaving me equally repulsed and turned-on at the same time. That scene would stay in my memory for years, while the image of Josh as an actual friend faded away.

After that we went to different High Schools, and lost contact and sight of each other for many years.

During this time I came to realise that I am attracted to guys as much as I am to girls, although I kept this to myself, as this was still a conservative time and High School was hard enough without being called a faggot every other day. For the time being, guys only featured prominently in my fantasies during shower time hand jobs at night, while during the day my reality was dating girls. Trying to date them, at least.

After I finished school, I started engaging more with my bi-curios side, and ended up having as many experiences with guys, as I have had with girls. Attending Art School helped me overcome my inhibitions, and being surrounded by all manner of open minded and differently inclined and aligned folks does wonders for one’s self acceptance. The balance was starting to shift firmly towards the male of the species as I felt more comfortable within myself, and I soon stopped hiding my flirts and come-ons in the presence of friends. Truth be told, I was having the time of my life, without having to hide.

*     *     *     *

One Thursday afternoon I’m shopping with a girlfriend, looking for something to wear out that evening. We are browsing the men’s section of a department store, when she peers over my shoulder into the distance. I get the impression she is entering a state of boredom with my indecision of whether or not to purchase the jacket I’ve been staring at for the last 10 minutes.

“He looks kinda nice…” she finally says, and hints with a raise of her eyebrows towards someone behind me. “Can I look?” I ask carefully. She nods, adding that he had his back turned towards us.

Over by the denim wall stands a guy, of medium height with longish blonde hair and a slender build. “I really like his jacket…” Aretha says.

“Hmm, he’s… ok I suppose. Not really my type…” turning to focus my attention again on the jacket in my hand, when the blond starts moving away, and I spot someone else in the newly cleared line of sight: Josh.

Standing about 6’3, broad shouldered with messy short brown hair, he’s wearing jeans that sits casually low on his hips, and is rummaging through a pile of folded denims. Nonchalance personified. After a few minutes, he finds the size he’s looking for and slowly turns around, smiling to himself, still reading the garment label. As he looks up, our eyes meet and, clichéd as it is, time seems to stop for a second or two. He stares at me in a puzzled fashion, his head cocked slightly to the side.

“Jonny…” Time jump-starts back into motion again, and I only managed a soft “Josh... Hi”.

“How are you man? It’s been ages!” he says walking over towards us, extending a baseball glove sized hand out towards me. “I’m good. Good thanks… Just doing a spot of shopping with my friend… Oh, this is Aretha. Aretha, Josh” Aretha is uncharacteristically mute during all this, only nodding and giving me wide eyed looks whenever I look her way.

After we exchange news on all the usual topics, like finishing school, studies and work, we find ourselves just staring at each other, nervously half smiling, our eyes locked like magnets, the same way they did when we were young boys. Then Josh breaks the silence.

“Hey, I don’t know what you guys are up to tonight, but I would love to catch up with you, hear what you have been up to. Maybe have a couple of beers. What do you say?” He looks at me hopefully.

“Sure, I’d like that” I say, a little hesitantly, “but I got to go to another thing first... Is 10 too late for you?” I study his face for a few seconds, as he seems to consider my reply.

I notice again those big soulful eyes under thick, dark brows, his olive toned skin und full lips, but now with a literal five o’clock shadow surrounding it. And the round puppy-fat face from childhood has melted away into a strong jaw line, and sturdy neck. “Yup, that can work for me. I can meet my girlfriend a little earlier I guess, but after that I’m all yours, bud!” and flashes me that crooked, one-sided grin. We exchange numbers, and agree to meet later that evening.

“So, how do you know this hetero hottie?!” Aretha gasps, clearly having found her vocal cords again. “We were very good friends when we were boys, like pre-school and Primary School time. But after that we kind of lost contact I guess…” I answer, already far way in my own memories. “Too bad about the girlfriend” she snickers, “because he’s a bit of something, isn’t he? I’ll have him if you’re not interested!”

“What do you want with him anyway, lesbian?” I retort.

“I just think he looks wholesome. Like a gentle giant, you know, slightly innocent. But whatever…”

I don’t want to get into detail about it, so I just laugh her comments off and suggest we get going. It’s already so strange unexpectedly bumping into him like this, never mind trying to explain all the awkward scenarios we once shared.

After paying for the jacket, we walk to the car, while Aretha excitedly talks at me about the party we are attending tonight, only pausing every now and then to throw in a Josh-related question, like “Which High School did you say he went to again?” or “What do you think his lady friend looks like?” and “It looks like he plays contact sports… He SO does, doesn’t he?”

I simply walk along, nodding and shrugging my shoulders, wondering what on earth I’m getting myself into now.

*     *     *     *

At the party I can think of nothing else but my scheduled meeting with Josh, especially as he’s suggesting we meet in a sports bar – not the kind of place I frequent very often. But I decide to go along with it, to just get it over with. Have a beer, tell our stories and then realise how different we are from when we were young, and finally say our polite goodbyes and get on with our lives. I even start thinking of a few excuses just in case it turns out really awkward, and I need to get out fast.

At 9:30 I say my goodbyes to surprised friends, and offer that I might even be back a little later on, but explain that I have to go and quickly meet and old friend for a drink.

As I walk along, fine rain starts to descend onto the city, and soon all the streets are aglow with reflections of lights, traffic and signs. Upon my arrival I look up at the sign outside the sports bar, neon flickering tube lighting spelling out the words.

I push through the front door, and enter into a hot, noisy space full of semi-wet people, half shouting at each other over loud music. Everybody is packed in like sardines, and it takes me a good few minutes to make my way through the crowd, trying to locate Josh.

Unsuccessful, I decide to get a beer at the bar while I wait. The queue is a good 3 people deep all around the counter, and the going is slow. While I strategize a plan of action, I feel a strong, warm arm around my back and a big hand clasping my shoulder in a firm squeeze.

“You made it,” says a calm, deep voice so close to my ear, it makes the hairs on my neck stand on end as a shiver travels down my spine.

“Hey Josh. Yeah… Busy in here, isn’t it?”

“Yup. That’s why I got us a booth at the back. Bit calmer there. Come on bud, I already ordered you a beer”.

As we walk through the crowd towards the dimly lit back area, he places his hand on the back of my neck, effectively steering me towards our booth table. “Seems you also got caught in the rain on your way over. Your hair’s all wet… Don’t worry, so is mine actually!”

“Yeah?” I answer, looking over my shoulder at him, him giving me the lop-sided smile.

At the table we drink our beers and tentatively start making conversation, all the while looking each other over. I realise how attractive he has become as a young man, and how calm and in control of himself he seems to be. Onto our second beer and the conversation is starting to flow out of us more naturally, as we joke and tell tales of the not so distant past.

I learn that he finished his studies two years ago, and is now a qualified auto-engineer, working in the field of research and development. He, in turn, learns that I got my design degree the year before and just started my first proper job as an assistant at an independent studio. I learn that he has a girlfriend of 6 months, but that they aren’t really together anymore, and that it is quite complicated, as he still cares about her. I get the feeling he doesn’t really want to talk about it… I also learn that he’s very good at deflecting attention, as he then asks me if I have a girlfriend at the moment. I simply answer no, not sure whether or not to open up to him too quickly.

After the third beer we are talking about everything and anything, completely relaxed in each other’s company while totally absorbed in the conversation, like always. Halfway through our fourth beer, talk inevitably turns to sex. When we lost our virginity, to who, how good we thought we were, how bad it actually turned out, etc.

Filled with alcohol-assisted courage, I say that I don’t believe his first time could have been all that bad, “What with you and your big ol’ dick,” I laughed.

“How do you know if I have a big dick?” he asks quizzically, smiling.

“Well, you did whip it out in the School Bus, and proceeded to rub one out in front of everybody in 8th grade, remember? And it was an eyeful, even then!”

“Oh my god, I completely forgot about that...” he says, one huge hand covering his eyes, before bursting out into a chugging laugh, finally adding with a hint of embarrassment, “But thank you.” He shoots me a mischievous grin as he says it.

Completely at ease now and fuelled by his reaction (and the drinks, of course), I decide to test the water a bit. “But you always had a big one. I can remember, even when we were younger…”

At this he locks eyes with me again - for what feels like ages - before finally answering “We played some fucked up little games, you and I… Jeez Jonny, do you remember?”

“Uh-huh. We used to play in our house’s cellar a lot. Or in your room at your place. You used to build a tent between your bed and desk using sheets.”

“And we would just hide in there, take our clothes off and play with each other’s willies!”

“For hours on end... Don’t think I would have that kind of stamina anymore!”

He laughs. “But yours weren’t small either, if I remember correctly. Mine might have been a bit thicker, but yours weren’t far behind!”

Raising an eyebrow, I continue. “It was always better at my house, because the cellar was dark, and we could lock the door from inside. Didn’t want my Mom walking in on us lying next to each other, holding and rubbing our little dicks together.”

“Yup! Crazy, huh? It’s like we were acting out little porno’s before we even knew what a porno was.”

“I know. We even tried docking sometimes, for fuck sake… You know what docking is, right?” I ask carefully, after he looks a bit startled.

“Isn't that when you pull your foreskin over another dick?” he asks in a hushed tone.

“Err, yeah…” Suddenly I recall an incident. “Remember that one time your Mom caught us? We were in a rather… um, compromising position…”

“Oh yeah, I remember…” he says, chuckling. “I asked you to sit on my dick, didn’t I?” looking me straight in the eye.

“Not only that. You asked me to pull my bum cheeks apart as I was sitting down…”

“…and tried pulling my Jap’s eye open at the same time!” He chuckles, shaking his head. “Did… did I actually enter you?” he asks carefully.

“No, I don’t think so. I think I just clamped it between my cheeks” I say proudly.

“And then my Mom opened the door. And you had to go home. I don’t think we were allowed to have many play dates after that…” He looks off into the distance, before smirking and adding, “Fucking Bitch. Felt so good. Why she had to cut us short!”

By this point my pulse is beating faster and I can feel myself getting really turned on by our talk. “It did feel good, didn’t it” I answer, not looking him in the eye. I can tell he is also getting a bit hot under the collar, as his calm demeanour gives way to more fidgeting. We continue talking about the games we used to play together, getting more turned on the longer the chat goes on.

We finish our fourth beer, and I see Josh re-adjusting his crotch as he put his empty glass on the table. He catches me looking at his bulge.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to stare”, I say.

“Don’t apologise bud. All this talk is making me horny, I guess. But be honest… Does it look as big as you remember it?”

This last question catches me off guard. I looked up at him. He’s looking back at me, one corner of his mouth turning up into a half smile, eyes flickering.

After a few seconds, I decide to playfully retaliate. “Well, I’m not sure… Let me feel.” I slip off my shoe, and lift my foot up towards his seat. It is dimly lit enough in the back area where we are sitting, that a move like this can easily go unnoticed.

Sensing my foot between his legs, he slowly lowers into his seat, pushing into me, all the while not breaking eye contact. I can just make out a low grunt escaping his lips when his bulge makes contact with my toes. It feels soft and firm, all at the same time. I attempt to grope his semi-hard on between my big toe and the next, but it won’t even begin to grab a hold.

Now its his turn to display some Dutch courage. “To be completely honest with you, I’ve wanted to properly fool around with another guy for a while, but I’ve never had the balls to go through with it.”

“Trust me,” I interrupt him, “you’ve got the balls. Big ones. Always have!”

He laughs, then looks around the room slowly, slips his hand underneath the table, then returns his gaze to me. “I just feel totally comfortable and free around you. I always have.” He silently pulls down his fly and carefully wrestles out his cock in the dark of the shadow, flopping it onto my foot. Its hot and heavy, and I can feel a streak of pre-cum transferring onto the bridge as he slowly drags it from side to side over my foot.

By now my heart is racing, my mouth is dry and my briefs wet. A moment later I lean forward. He mirrors me. Close to his ear I say: “I think we need to continue where we left off years ago. I want us to play with each other again, like we used to.”

He turns his head to me, smiles and nods. “Yup, me too.”

After repackaging his bulge to look less obscene, we get up and make our way over towards the bar to pay our bill. The place is now heaving with even more people, and is especially busy around the counter. I offer to take care of the drinks, and slowly make my way to the front, Josh trailing close behind me. Near the front we come to a deadlock, and have to patiently wait our turn.

He is standing very close to me now. I can feel his breath on my neck, his stubble pricking my shoulder every now and then through my t-shirt.

I react to this by casually placing my thumb into my back pocket, palm facing backwards, and leaning back into him a bit more. In this dark space out of sight, my hand and his cock quickly find each other, and the two start engaging in a subtle but powerful fondling session. I can feel his breathing quicken on my neck as he pushes himself ever more against my groping hand, and we let one person after another get served before us.

*     *     *     *

Outside the bar, we walk quickly, looking for an alley, side street or dark space out of sight. “In here” he gestures, as he leads me down a dark backstreet until we stand behind two big dumpsters that are blocking out most of the light from the street.

Our eyes adjusts to the dark surprisingly quickly – maybe it’s the adrenaline of the moment – and for a few seconds we just stand there admiring each other. I can see him biting his lower lip. Finally he leans in towards me, his hand searching out my bulge that by now was straining heavily against my trouser’s fly. He gropes my package, and then squeezes it gently, before rubbing it with a cupped palm, slowly but powerfully up and down. I can make out that naughty twinkle in his eyes light up as we give each other mischievous grins – the same we used to when we were younger and up to no good.

As my hand reaches out to him, his mobile phone starts buzzing, lighting up the fabric of his pocket. He tries ignoring it, and continues rubbing me for a few seconds, before stopping with a sigh, pulling out his phone and staring at the lit up screen. In the blue-tinted light, I can see his expression change rapidly. Disappointedly he says, “I’m sorry bud. I have to take this. It’s my, um, girlfriend…”.

I feel the blood draining from my crotch, as I overhear snippets of the conversation. “This is not a good time… No, no. It’s OK”. And then, “Yeah, don’t worry. I’ll be there soon” and finally a barely audible “Bye…”

After hanging up, he looks at me with those big eyes, eyebrows bearing down heavily above them, and I know what he is going to say, even before he says it.

“I need to go. There is a crisis at my girlfriends place. Some kind of incident involving her flat mate, or something. The police are there… I’m not entirely sure what’s going on…”

I can see the devastation in his face. And feel it in my chest.

“Oh ok. Yeah. No problem… Of course” I hear myself saying, failing magnificently to hide the disappointment in my voice, as I shove my hands into my pockets.

“This is not a brush-off, buddy. Believe me. But I need to go…”

“No, no. It’s fine” I reply, looking down onto the pavement, my eyes moving between squashed bits of chewing gum, like a ball in a pinball machine.

“Please say you have time on Saturday evening? Let me make it up to you. Come over to my place. We can have a couple of drinks. We have so much catching up still to do…” As he says this last bit, his eyes light up again, and a huge smile spread across his face, as I nod in agreement.

“OK. Yeah, why not.” I answer, trying to sound nonchalant, an attempt to hide the relief I was feeling - as I too am not ready to leave it like this.

“How does 8 sound? I’ll text you my address. It’s not far from here. OK?”

I nod in agreement again, this time a faint smile crawling onto my face.

“Awesome. Sorry, I really have to get going!” He turns and says over his shoulder, “I’ll text you tomorrow!” and starts quickly walking towards the lights.

I turn around, looking up into the darkness towards the night sky, and let out a long silent sigh. Suddenly he is right behind me again, throwing his heavy arms around my neck, his big hands gripping my chest. He smells of fresh wood shavings, and slightly musky, but sweet. He holds me tightly for a second and with those plump lips plants a wet, stubbly kiss on my cheek, before whispering, “See you Saturday Jonathan.”

He lets me go, and I hear his footsteps running towards the street, his sneakers squeaking across the wet path.

*     *     *     *

It’s Friday Morning and I wake up startled by my alarm clock. “8am.” I look around the room, then flop back down into my bed. I pick up my phone from the floor and study it through blurry eyes. No new messages.

I turn onto my back, looking up towards the ceiling. “What a crazy night” I think out aloud to myself. “Josh” I think next. “You actually haven’t changed much since school, you know. You’re still this mischievous kid, with kind eyes and messy hair, but with added lean bulk. And that smile… Argh!” I turn over, and push my face into my pillow. “And those hands. And that cock…”

Slowly I start rocking my pelvis back and forth, my semi steadily growing into a rock hard boner. I start humping my duvet, my dick digging into the fibres, rubbing itself till it burns.

*     *     *     *

Around lunchtime my phone buzzes. “Message from Josh.”

“Hey bud. Hope you doin’ good. Sorry again for leaving you high & dry… Everything OK here, drama sorted out, newly single. Woke up this morning thinking about you, everything that was said & done. Got all hot & horny again… Made quite a mess! Hoping you can make a mess with me next time. Flat 3, 189 Bancroft Street. See you tomorrow. Oh, and no interruptions, promise! Josh x ”

Startled by an incoming call, I stare at the phone: “Aretha Calling.”

“Hallo.”

“Hello Mr. Mystery! You didn’t come back. What gives? Where were you last night? What happened? Spill!”

“Uh, yeah, had a really great time catching up actually. We chatted for ages. Was nice.”

“And..?”

“And nothing. Just a nice catch-up. Hearing what he’s up to. Telling him what I’m doing at the moment…”

“Did you tell him you are very into doing the mens’ these days?!”

“No. I didn’t. Christ... I didn’t feel it was necessary to tell him that, with the way the evening turned out…” She luckily didn’t register my slip up.

“Oh. OK… Anyway. Still up for dinner with Andy and Chris tonight?

“Yeah, sure. What time?”

“Say 7:30? Bring a bottle of something, OK?”

“Sure.”

“See you later, masturbator!”

“Bye.”

I’m not sure why I didn’t spill the beans to Aretha, she is my best friend and normal confidant… Maybe I’m not quite sure what this is exactly myself, or where it is heading. It’s all a little bizarre. He dates girls. But he sure seems to like dick. I think he does. Well, he likes mine at least…

For the rest of the day I busy myself with mundane things: I drink coffee, read emails, wash the dishes, tidy up the flat, look through my wardrobe, stress about what to wear tomorrow, have a shower, drink some more coffee, send emails and then finally shut my Computer. I look up at the clock on the wall. “7:17”. Shit.

*     *     *     *

Saturday morning I wake up late. I didn’t sleep particularly well. Too much wine at dinner, I think. Hardly surprising given the company… Also, avoiding probing questions and providing uninteresting dead-end answers about my new re-acquaintance turned out to be an exhausting and time consuming activity.

Once I scrape together the courage to get out of bed, I make myself a cup of coffee, which I drink spread out on the couch, scrolling through my phone. After about 15min I start feeling more awake as the caffeine starts to take effect. I get up and walk to the bathroom. I look in the mirror, and realise I have some work to do.

I start by trimming my beard down to barely-there stubble, tidying up the neckline and snipping around my sides. Next I inspect my ears, pulling out any stray long hairs that from time to time make an unwelcome appearance. Nostrils get the once-over next, before I look at my chest in the mirror.

Over the last couple of years I managed to grow a nice coating of chest hair, which I like personally, but the hair around my nipples always seem to grow faster and thicker than the others, so I usually trim these down a little. This way they are less likely to be confused with hairy rosettes, possibly won for an embarrassing spare time activity.

After that, my attention shifts further south. I’m not a fan of shaven genitals. I find it a bit… well, off-putting. But I still need to tidy up a bit, I think. I have no idea if Josh is shaven, if he likes it shaven, or whether he is growing a national forest down there. Actually, I’m sure he is not. I would have detected that when we were groping each other last night. Hairy Mary’s normally have a rustling feel and/or sound when you grope them, as the hairs brush against the fabric…

After a few strategic snips here and there, and carefully cleaning up of the base of my shaft with a razor, I think I am ready for a wash. All the fidgeting has made my dick wake up too, but I tell it to chill out and have a rest, as I am hopeful he might get more attention later tonight.

By the time I’m done titivating in the bathroom, it is late afternoon. I decide to have early dinner, and at around 6 o’clock I finished some leftovers, and started getting ready with a glass of wine.

Readying myself to meet my handsome childhood buddy Josh, who I’ve known for 18 years, haven’t seen for almost 10 years and haven’t felt for way over 14 years, before Thursday night anyway.

*     *     *     *

He opens the apartment door with a “Hey” – said in a joyous manner, but without raising his voice. Eyes gleaming, mouth pulled into a lopsided smile. “Come on in, bud.”

“Hey” I mock, unable to control my face as I break into a smile, marvelling at how good he looks again in normal light, dim lighting and shadows not hiding his attractiveness. I had the same sensation in the department store two days ago.

He is dressed in a (admittedly very sexy) tattered old t-shirt, paired with a pair of smart joggers, and wearing flip flops. The t-shirt reveals a toned chest, broad shoulders and strong arms, while the joggers don’t exactly hide his bubble butt and muscular legs. He is the proud owner of huge, slightly hairy feet that are not unattractive. All his body parts seems to be wrapped with this perfectly olive-y toned skin. Everything about him is bold, but subtle at the same time. I can’t help but marvel at him, moving gracefully around in his kitchen.

Looking me up and down, he says, “Well, well. Looks like you also grew up a bit”, as if he could read my very thoughts from a few seconds ago. “You used to be quite skinny, but look at you now!”

I can feel my cheeks turning red, but manage a “You know, I thought it was time to hit the gym a bit… Look after myself.”

“No, I can tell. You look… Good. Really. You're so toned,” he says with smiling eyes, handing me a beer. “Anyway… Cheers!”

He raises his bottle, we toast, then says: “Listen, I need to talk to you… Sorry about what happened last night. I didn’t want it to be like that…”

I feel my heart sinking. “Um, what do you mean exactly?” I ask, taking a big gulp of my beer.

“I mean with the phone call from my girl… Ex-girlfriend, and having to leave… so abruptly…” His voice trailed off.

“Oh!” I said barely concealing my relief, “You don’t mean the other stuff?”

“No, no!” he replies with one of his patient, almost slow motion laughs, “That I enjoyed. A lot!” before taking a big sip from his bottle without breaking eye contact with me. “Talking of… Come here bud, I wanna show you something.”

He gently steers me into to the next room, again placing his hand on my neck, like he did in the bar on Thursday, sending electric currents pulsing down my spine. In the middle of what I’m guessing is his living room, stands an art installation made from part of his couch, a broomstick, his coffee table and some blue-grey fabric. A shaggy carpet lies underneath, with a small torch placed at one end.

“What’s… all this then?” I ask, looking at the strange scene in front of me.

Moving closer to me and draping his right arm over my shoulder, he slips his hand into my shirt, gently holding my chest. He leans in close and in a lowered voice replies, “I made one of my famous make-shift indoor tents. Can’t you tell? Somewhere to hide and do what we want. Care to join me in inside, Jonathan?” He raises his other hand to his mouth, takes a big sip, finishing the last of his beer.

Turning his head to me, he ads, “Oh, I almost forgot. There is one rule. Well, two rules technically…’ His eyes narrowing, “You have to be naked to be allowed in. And the only activities allowed once inside, are the games we used to play.”

Carefully detaching himself from me, he pulls his shirt over his head, revealing his side profile featuring a dark patch of slightly moist underarm hair, surrounded by a muscular shoulder, a light sprinkling of dark hair between his defined pectorals fading out over his chest and a few stray hairs around his nipple. He scrunches the t-shirt up in his hands, and throws it to the side. Shooting me a one-eyebrow-raised look, he pulls down his joggers, steps out of them and kicks them towards me, smiling.

I half catch the bundle of fabric, and stand frozen for a moment - transfixed with his physique. His thick dick is dangling lazily in front of heavy, pendulous balls. Above his bulky member grows neither a forest, nor a mowed lawn, but more a natural meadow of soft dark hair, fading quickly into his olive skin.

“You not joining me?” he asks, turning towards me. His expression is half bemused grin, half insecure desperation.

“Sorry! Yeah, I am. I just saw what I’ve been missing all these years!” I say and wink at him. I unbutton my shirt as quickly as I can, and undo my trousers, all under his watchful gaze.

“Wow, bud. You’re quite hairy. That’s hot… I wish I had more hair,” he said looking down at his legs.

“You can play with mine if you want” I joked.

“Ha, OK then. Switch off the lights, won’t you” he said and crawled underneath the tent, showing of his butt, his balls dangling tantalisingly low between his thighs. The sight is vaguely familiar to me, but the dimensions have definitely changed. He switches on the torch, balancing it upright on the table, creating a sort of diffused up lighter illuminating the tent.

Once the lights are off, the room transforms into a magical intimate space with soft shadows and glowing edges. He pats the space on the carpet next to him when I peek inside, his eyes ablaze with anticipation: “Come.”

As I sit down next to him, I feel the heat radiating off his body, our breathing the only sound, becoming more pronounced and slowly escalating. He wraps an arm around my shoulder again, pulling me tightly against his side. I run my hand across his chest, feeling the bulk of him, tracing his contours. He gives my shoulder a squeeze and places his other hand on my leg, slowly moving his hand upwards, stroking my thigh. At this point both our dicks are still surprisingly soft, our eyes and heads probably too busy taking in all this visual information.

His penis is as I remember it, thick and sturdy, reminding me of an armpit roll-on applicator in shape and size. Mine is more slender, falling over slightly to the left over my balls - like a cat enjoying a nap - as I feel the first signs of a slow swelling.

I move my hand over to his dick, holding it gently in my palm, taking in its size and weight. He does the same with mine, softly fondling and feeling it. We sit there a while, exploring and reacquainting ourselves with bodies that we once knew so well, but is now slightly different and new at the same time. It feels incredible and electric.

Quickly our handling starts changing their sizes and shapes, mine increasing dramatically in length, gaining in girth, while curving slightly to the left, the head a dark crimson.

His, on the other hand, just expands in every possible way. Growing thicker, longer and curving slightly upwards near the end, his plum coloured head slowly revealing most of itself. When at last fully erect, the core is rock hard, but amazingly soft all around, allowing for a good squeeze. I grip it tightly, but I can’t close my hand, my thumb and fingers stay stranded on opposite sides. A small dewdrop of pre-cum escapes at the top, glistening in the soft light. It’s a thing of masculine glory.

“Man, this feels so good. For you too?”

“Uh-huh” is all I can manage, while hearing my own heartbeat faintly echoing in my ears.

“We use to do this all the time, didn’t we?” he says, adding, “Although I can’t remember our willies being this big. Or hard!”

“Or wet” I joke. “But then again, everything was smaller, including our hands. Especially your hands.”

He chuckles. “Yup. But still feels good, bud.”

We continue caressing each other in silence for a while, feeling each other’s meat.

“Did you ever play these kind of games with other boys?” I ask, hesitantly adding, “or other… guys?”

He’s quiet for a moment, lost in his thoughts before answering. “Not really. I mean, nothing like what you and I used to… Are doing now.” He lets out a nervous chuckle. “Well, you saw me jack-off in the bus… So mostly stuff like that, you know. Jerking off with other guys, just showing off, but never anything mutual…”

“I would show off too, if I had a cock like this…” I interrupt.

Another half chuckle and grin comes from his side. I feel his dick throb in my hand, as he continues talking. “And it happened even less once I was in High School. I wanted to, but most of the other guys were not into that kind of thing. And I was unsure on how to bring the subject up… You?”

It’s my turn to go silent. I think for a moment, before answering. “Um… I fooled around with a few guys since…” I say tactfully, adding “But no, not like this. With you it’s… different. It’s comfortable, almost relaxing and incredibly exciting at once. Like a naughty secret I don’t want to share with others…” He looks at me, his eyes on fire.

“Yup, I know what you mean.”

Locking our eyes, we simultaneously start moving our hands slowly up and down, very gently slipping our foreskins half-over, then half-under while squeezing lightly. A drop of his pre-cum runs down his cock head, slowly makes it’s way over the ridge of his foreskin and settles on my thumb.

“Sorry bud. I’m just so horny with you right now.”

“Ditto. I’m also pretty wet. This feels fucking amazing.”

We continue lazily stroking each other, the gradually increasing vigour and natural juices causing our dicks to produce smacking noises, like wet kisses. He grabs my inner thigh, pulling my leg over his. Both our breaths and heartbeats are escalating rapidly, as we sit entwined like this stroking each other.

“Remember what else felt amazing?” he asks after a while, suddenly more animated. A downright naughty look has crept into his eyes, the same way it used to when he was about to get us into trouble as young boys.

“We use to rub against each other, using our bodies like you once told me you did with a pillow. Let’s try that again. You game?”

I sure was. I nod, before slurring “Absolutely.”

Carefully I release my grip on his bulging cock, slowly moving my hand down to his sack. It's warm and soft, not hanging as low as it was before. I cup them and gently massage them in my palm. His cock twitches, and he gives a soft groan. “Oh man”, he says, breathing out loudly.

I laugh and asked him how he wants to re-play this next part, barely concealing my excitement. He looked around a little, suggesting we lie on our sides, facing each other. As we do, we move closer together, until our chests touch, our abdomens tackily stick together, and our cocks and ball sacks joins in a warm, oozy squash. I put my arm around his neck, as he grabs hold of my butt, pulling me even closer into him. He starts rocking back and forth, managing to move me in a counter rhythm, our cocks slip and sliding past each other in a pre-cum smoothie.

It’s incredibly intense, as we are wriggling and squirming together, breathing loudly into each other’s ears. I know I won’t be able to last much longer like this. I pull my head carefully back and look lustily into his eyes.

“Josh…”

“Yeah?”

“I’m about to burst man. Can’t hold back much longer. I’m sorry, this just feels too good.”

“No worries bud. Relieved you’re saying that actually” he says through bated breath, “cause I’m super close too.”

“OK” is the only word I can get out next.

We continue humping and rubbing for a bit longer, the wet squishy sounds becoming louder and louder. I cannot hold back any longer. “I need to cum Josh…”

Quickly he grips my ass tightly in his hand, rolling onto his back, taking me with him, so I’m now lying on top of him. His other hand grabs my other butt cheek, as he continues to grind me into him with renewed vigour. Now we are face to face, seeing the lust and desire in each other’s eyes, both our mouths hanging slightly agape, breathing heavily.

I can feel the build-up revving into action. The semen is travelling up the road towards freedom. I sense he’s also ready to explode, his movements becoming frantic und urgent.

My head tilts upwards and my chin forward, as I feel my cock pumping out load after load of release. The hottest sensation being Josh’s meaty cock throbbing in time with mine, forcing out his thick load split seconds later. Our belly buttons unable to contain this steaming hot mess, it starts running down his sides and over his oblique’s, dripping onto the rug underneath.

I collapse down onto him, lying with my cheek on his sweaty chest, looking at his nipple – the areola still erect. “Fuck,” I say when I get my breath back, “that was hot!”

He chuckles slowly, making my head bob up and down, answering “Yup!”, still breathing hard. “There is definitely a bigger pay-off now, than when we were boys…”

“Uh-huh” I sigh, and close my eyes, as he crosses his arms around me and we silently drift into a warm, sticky sleep. Right there under his makeshift tent in the middle of his living room.

*     *     *     *

The next morning as I open my eyes, I realise we must be in his bed. It is still early, but the first rays of sunshine are creeping into the room. He is lying next to me, still sleeping.

I study his cherubic face: Full lips, button-like nose and thick bushy brows. Lashes like palm leaves, slightly dimpled jaw. He looks so innocent and, well… straight. Hard to believe this is the same person initiating all the activities we get up to last night, and with so much enthusiasm.

Turning towards the other side, I try to see beyond the blinds obscuring the window. We are quite high up, and I can make out hills beyond the buildings in the distance.

I feel him move. His eyes are still shut, but a smile is pulling at his mouth. A big hand appears from under the duvet. It finds me, and pulls me towards him.

“Morning…” he half slurs, giving me a bear hug from behind. “I carried you to bed last night, I hope you don’t mind. I didn’t really fancy sleeping on the floor.” After pausing, he adds, “And I didn’t have the heart to just leave you lying there!”

“Oh yeah, I vaguely remember you picking me up… Sorry, I was completely knocked out.”

He chuckles, then stretch out his arms above his head, his feet appear poking out at the end of the bed as he makes a soft growling noise, tensing his body and then relaxing again. He lazily throws the duvet off him, lying there naked for a few seconds.

Again I marvel at his physique. He really is a hulk of a (young) man. His cock lazily flops over, pulling one ball with it as he turns to me, cocking his eyebrow. “Coffee?”

“That would be great. Thanks.”

He purses his lips together and nods. “OK… Actually, think I need to take a shower first.” He gets out of bed, stretches once more, giving me an eyeful from behind as he shuffles into the bathroom.

I hear the toilet flush, and then a few seconds later I hear him turning the shower on. Then I hear the sounds shift as he gets under the water. I lie there in his bed, tuck my arm behind my head, and smile as I go through the events of last night in my head.

“Hey bud, you joining me or what?” This is said in an upbeat style that suggests optimism, rather than irritation, shortly followed by “I don’t believe for a second you are less dirty than I am after our games last night!”

I had to smirk to myself, before calling “Coming!”

Inside the shower, we take a moment to admire each other once more at close range, both wearing smug expressions while doing so. He takes me by my shoulders, stroking my arms with his hands. “Look at you! So handsome.” He breaks into a wide smile, water running down his face. He hands me a bottle of shower gel, turns around and asks, “Mind doing my back?”

“Sure.” I squeeze some gel into my palm and start making circular movements across his vast shoulders, moving down his back using both hands. I move my hands back upwards again, spreading soap towards his arms. “Arms too?” I ask. “Yup” comes the reply. His shoulders are rounded and wide apart, triceps gently swelling, biceps solid. He slowly lifts his hands above his head, encouraging me to wash his armpits. So far, so homoerotic I think to myself.

“Don’t stop there!” he quips. I raise my eyebrows to myself, as I squeeze more gel into my hands. His butt is smooth and firm, and my hands glide around its curves with ease. As I move my fingers in the vicinity of his crack, I can hear his breathing getting louder. I suddenly find myself getting very aroused again. I gently manoeuvre my soapy hand up and down his crack, brushing his hole with my fingertips as they slide past.

“OK bud. Your turn.” He smiles at me and winks. His cock has also woken up and is looking up at me. “Oh ignore him, he just wants attention,” he jokes. “Come on, turn round!”

He washes my neck, my back and my arms, before slowly moving down to my ass. Feeling his hands on my body is electric. With circular movement he massages my butt cheeks, warming them up in his big hands. Next he moves on to my crack using his fingers. He finishes with his thumb, gently flicking it over and around my hole. It feels a bit like small dick washing me. I let out a soft moan.

My legs are next, as he rubs soap over my thighs, then kneeling down low to wash my calves. As I look down, I see his meaty erect penis down between my ankles, subtly ticking along in time to his heartbeat. “Josh, um, listen… I think I might need to sit on your cock soon” I say, breathing hard. He just looks up at me and smiled his lopsided smile, saying: “I guess coffee will have to wait.”

After we dried off, he steers me into the kitchen. He pulls a chair out clear from the table, and sits down. Then he looks at me excitedly, patting his bulky thighs with his palms, gesturing with a flick of his head.

I move over closer to him. He takes my dick as I move past his knee - gently pulling on it - before letting it softly slip out of his hand again. Standing between his spread legs, I turn my back towards him. He cups my ass with his hand, and gentle caresses it. His other hand is holding his cock down between his legs as I prepare to sit. Carefully I lower myself down until I feel his pubic hair nestle against my crack, my back resting against his chest. He pulls his hand out, and I feel his cock springing up from below, pushing up against my balls, planting a drop of pre-cum underneath my ball sack.

He wraps his arms around my chest, and we sit like this a while, him lazily rubbing his chin stubble across my shoulder. “I missed you,” he whispers. “Ditto” came my tender reply. My hand reaches down to find his cock, stroking its underside. It responds similarly to when you stroke a cat’s chin, by seemingly stretching longer and reaching upwards. I start to slowly rock back and forth on top of him, my eyes closed.

He readjusts his arms around me. One hand gripping my pec, the other moving down to enclose my hard, by now also oozing dick. He keeps his hand steady, letting me fuck his fist as I steadily rock on top of him. Stretching his neck forward, he softly nibbles and licks around my ears. All the friction between his swollen cock head and my balls, has spread his pre-cum around enough so that his wet meat is now sliding easily in and out between my thighs.

“How you doing there, bud?” he whispers into my ear.

“Yeah, good. Feels good. How about you?” I breathlessly reply.

“Yeah, same. I can easily do this with you all day long… Well, probably not literally” breathing heavily, “but you know what I mean.”

“Uh-huh.” I start lifting my hips up a little bit more, rotating them in bigger circular movements, making him smear my undersides with his natural lube. The change of pressure lets him escape a soft moan, his swollen head moving ever closer to my hole with each rotation.

By now a layer of sweat formed between my back and his stomach, and we are wet everywhere. Every time his cock slides past my crack, my heart rate goes up a notch. After a while I beg him “I want to feel your Jap’s eye against my hole. You know, properly, like we used to do.”

“I thought you’d never ask…” he answers in a husky tone. “Hang on, let’s get down on the floor.” He slowly raises himself off his seat, lifting me up with him, not loosening his grip on my cock. He goes down on his knees, again pulling me down with him. Once on the floor, he pulls his thighs closer together, spreading mine wider apart, so that my lower legs were now lying outside, next to his.

In this position he pushes me forward slightly and down on all fours, while leaning back himself, allowing his cock to come free from between my thighs, his plum coloured cock head now flushed with red.

This is quite a perilous position for me to be in, but I trust him completely and know he wouldn’t do anything I wasn’t prepared for.

“All good like this, bud?” he tenderly asked, and when I nod, he moves forward slowly, sliding his meat forward, his head putting pressure on my hole. Not so much as to force it’s way in, but enough to feel a pleasurable sensation. I can’t help but let out a deep grunt.

One hand still clenching my own cock, with his other he takes his and slowly starts brushing it up and down my crack, coating my valley with his pre-cum. Each time his head slides over my hole, he increases the pressure a little bit, teasing my anal muscles.

“Jesus Josh! Are you sure you haven’t done this before?” I gasp.

“Yup, I’m sure” he half chuckles, half heavy breaths. “But I had plenty of time fantasizing about how to do it though.”

After a while he takes his cock and starts rotating it in a conical forward movement, the smallest rotations going deeper and deeper against me, until his head softly started parting my hole little by little, filling it with his natural lube.

Eventually, I can feel my sphincter being relaxed enough to try more. I didn’t plan on going this far, but I can’t stop myself. I want to feel him, all of him. And I can sense he wants the same.

“Hey Josh” I say, “I love feeling your head pressed up between my cheeks,” trying to catch my breath, “but do you think we should try and go further than before?” I looked over my shoulder at him, breathing hard.

He grinned back at me, “Fucking love to, bud. Only if you are OK with it, though?”

With him still pushed up against me, and my hole slowly opening up, I lift my arms off the ground, quickly bringing my upper body back up. I lean back a tiny bit more, breathing out, allowing his swollen head to slip inside. “Totally…” I sigh.

He carefully moves his knees forward - one by one - making sure to keep his cock completely still. Next he brings his arm over my shoulder and across my chest, grabbing my armpit, gently pulling me closer until I‘m firmly pressed against him. We can feel each other’s heartbeats pulsing through our bodies.

“You’re cock is so big. Go slowly please”, I whisper.

“Don’t worry, I’ll stay completely still. Work your way onto it at your own pace. I don’t want to hurt you, bud” he replied.

Not long after I can start feeling his pubic hair brushing against my butt again, my hole stretched to capacity. I’ve never been filled like this before.

“Still good?” he whispered.

I reach down with my hand, grabbing hold of his balls, and pull the last bit of him inside me. “All good” I reply.

Gently he starts to pull back. I feel his meat sliding backwards inside of me, before pausing and gentle forcing forward again. He keeps at it until he’s sliding easily without too much pressure, adding some of my pre-cum to his shaft when pulling back. This takes a while, but feels incredible once he starts actually fucking me, his balls softly knocking against my ass, as the thrusting slowly increases.

He rubs his stubbly cheek a few times up and down against the side of my neck, whispering, “You feel so amazing from inside. I’m gonna have to come pretty soon, bud. I can feel my balls pulling up already, sorry.”

“Do it” I nod in agreement, not really able to say more as I’m also overcome with so may different and new sensations.

His hand returns to stroking my wet cock, this time with more urgency, putting extra pressure behind my head with his thumb and forefinger. His other hand releases my armpit, glides up towards my neck, gripping it for a moment, before turning my head towards his.

He has a look in his eyes I haven’t seen before. Somewhere between drunken lust and clear realisation. We keep eye contact while he’s fucking me harder, deeper, faster.

Continually pulling me ever closer, every inch of his front side is glued to my back, his thighs stuck to the back of mine. The only parts of his body now moving is his hips frantically pumping his cock into me, his hand jerking me off. It feels like I’m going to burst into flames.

His hand pulls my head backwards still, until his lips finds mine. With closed eyes our tongues meet, gently wrapping around one another, his stubble rubbing like sandpaper against mine.

As we kiss for the first time ever – passionately and deeply - I feel the earth move underneath me. My orgasm is coming with express delivery. Josh too is close to the edge, fucking me with a force and intensity I’ve never experienced before, all the while lustfully kissing me. We are like a train without breaks running downhill, hurtling ever faster towards an inevitable explosion.

Without being able to give prior warning, I come hard and fast, pulling my mouth free from his to give out a succession of loud, deep moans. He continues fucking the cum right out of me until there’s no more left.

Josh then slides his still throbbing meat out of me, and with one hand holding my pelvis in a firm grip, frantically strokes his cock, his head pushed right up against my hole. Almost immediately, I hear a deep gasp, followed by the sensation of load after load of piping hot cum splashing against my sphincter, streaming past my perineum and dripping down my balls.

Still panting, we turn around to each other, searching each other’s eyes. I put my arms around his neck pulling his head toward mine until our foreheads touch.

“Everything OK, bud?” he asks. With a slight shake of the head, I softly answer: “You really are something else, you know that?”

He smiles his funny smile, kisses me tenderly, and wraps his arms around my back, resting his hands on my butt. It was already afternoon.

“What you thinking, handsome?” he whispers.

“Dunno. It’s a bit like we just created our own little Secret Spot right here. Everything hidden away and protected from the rest of the world.”

“Uh-huh” he says nodding his head. Then, after a few seconds “So, tell me a secret then. And make it a good one Jonny, not a boring one” he said teasingly.

“OK” I started, taking a deep breath. “That was… amazing. I’ve never come so hard before. Or felt so much before, with myself or anyone else. You’re amazing.”

I search his eyes for a reaction, before adding: “Your turn.”

He smiles, looks down and then returns his gaze to me, winking. “I can do better than that. I’ll tell you three secrets.”

Bemused, I look at him.

“One. I never experienced anything as good or as intense as I have with you in the last few days.”

I blinked.

“Two. Um, I don’t know… I guess I’ve found what I’ve been looking for since, forever. A confirmation of why I feel the way I feel…”

I swallow loudly.

“Three. I think I’m in love, bud.” He pauses, then smiles. “I always have been, actually. With you.”

I look down and smile, collapsing my head against his sweaty chest, pulling softly on his drooping cock with my hand. “Ditto my friend, ditto.”

*     *     *     *