Thank You Sir...May I Have Another?

Thank You Sir… May I Have Another?

He slapped me mildly and looked at me with that sadistic smile of his and said, “How do you like that Brandon?” I looked over to Jules and said in a barely audible tone of voice, “Thank you Sir, may I have another?”

I knew that I was in for another round of beration from Jules before the night was over as I did not say what I had to say LOUDLY enough and I knew it. So much for having a mild mannered and a soft spoken voice. You are not going to get anywhere in life unless you learn how to use that voice to direct your life and other people you work with. Jules just put his right hand up in the air and said very forcefully and for dramatic flair, “Speak up Brandon, I can’t hear you. When you speak to me or anyone else, you must be willing to convey your thoughts, ideas and actions, and especially, your emotions, loud enough and in such a way that people can actually hear what you are saying to the world. Got that, Boy??? Now say it LOUDER, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!” I never felt so humiliated in my whole life and this 2nd Session with Jules had just gotten under way. Honestly, I felt like a bunch of rotting tomatoes hidden under my mother’s dirty laundry and papers that she strew all over the den of her house in Northern Maine, Eagle Lake, Maine. Not to mention, the whole house and property. What a pig she is. A lazy pig. So, I mustered up enough force from my weak, pathetic pansy voice as I could find and said LOUDLY the next time, “Thank you Sir, may I have another?” I felt like I was auditioning for a role in an S&M Play and I was just one of many actors and actresses vying for the part so I had to do my best to get the part or get cut out of the CHANCE OF A LIFE-TIME.

I felt like I was making progress with my boyfriend, Jules. He was more like an acquaintance at this point. After all, we barely knew each other from work. All Jules could say next was, “Now Brandon, That’s much, much better. Just what would you do if your life depended on your using your voice to get your self out of a BAD SITUATION? Just what would you do?”

And then, without warning or provocation, Jules put up his left hand and reached out to slap me much harder on the face cheeks than he did before. This time, I felt the force and impact as the intensity of his slaps got harsher and more severe and I could feel the sting of his left hand now slapping the left cheek of my face and this time I winced and let out a soft but audible whimper. Jules just shot back a look that could kill. I felt sick to my stomach and like I might throw up at any minute if this level and intensity of abuse continued with Jules and the audience of hangers on that had gathered to watch this sad and sadistic play out tonight in Jules tiny, cramped basement at 101 Middle Street here in The Old Port of Portland, Maine.

All Jules could do was look at me again and laugh with that macabre laugh of his and say, “I don’t suppose that you are now going to start crying like a big baby and say, “Let me loose from my chains of love, are you? You are so PATHETIC I could spit in your face!!!” And then he did.

Of all the things that Jules could have done and it went right in my eyes. Was it something that I said or something that I did? Maybe it was all that rage Jules kept bottled inside at work dealing with his employees and all of the customers who wanted his talent and goods. I emphatically said, “NO SIR!”, in a voice that told him that I knew what he was doing and saying but that conveyed just enough meaning and raw emotion to make him reconsider his tactics tonight. After all, I was bound and tied up to an old school chair stuck in the middle of a decorated and dimly lit black room with one clear light bulb hanging dangerously from an old light socket and wire that stuck out of the ceiling. This was Jules’ Dungeon, the place where he brought his SLAVES to play with when the mood struck him. I was one of his latest SLAVES and VICTIMS. To tell you the truth, I did not mind sleeping in my cage at night and being forced to eat dog food and to drink water and to be let out into the comfort of his world every now and then or to work for him like HIS PERSONAL SLAVE, even when I felt tired and messed up and confused from a lack of sleep or from being confined in the DOG CAGE all day long and all night.

This was the world that I had come to know at Jules’ home on Munjoy Hill here in Portland, Maine. I knew that I had a lot more to learn from Jules if I was ever going to learn how to assert myself and be let into his bed at night and to become his live in lover. By day Jules was a very successful Entrepreneur in the world of Professional Songwriters and Publishers of Hit Songs for any singer, duo, trio, band or label that wanted his material for the taking and the using so that he could expand his EMPIRE and be the person he is and was. Jules was the kind of person who had made his first fortune in the world of business, trade and commerce by learning how to deal with people on a social level at parties, in their homes or even on the streets of Portland, Maine or wherever he happened to find himself which was usually at his Office Marketing himself to the world on-line or through companies that wanted his highly prized art, songs, and comedy that he Professionally made or wrote. Jules was also a ‘Stand Up Comedian’ even though he did not get paid to do it but you just never knew what would fly out of Jules’ mouth when he was up on stage or hanging out with people he knew and felt comfortable cracking jokes at. Jules was an adventurous person as he liked to travel and meet new clients at his Office on Monument Way in Downtown Portland, Maine or at his Private Home on Munjoy Hill.

I felt like things were beginning to open up for me on a more gut wrenching and an emotional level than ever before and this kind of slap therapy session was beginning to take its’ toll on me and Jules and I had not even begun our session for tonight. What a roller coaster ride I was in for tonight. Can you imagine if your life was like a roller coaster ride every day of your life? Indeed, it would be a very different kind of life. You would get sick of it very quickly and hate every minute of it, especially if you suffered from vertigo.

It’s very funny and scary to know that just because I was letting someone who I barely knew but trusted to slap me around and tell me what to say and to tell me how I should act and what I should do that I began to experience a harsher reality than I had ever anticipated before I came to live with Jules in his home for a trial period of 2 weeks. I knew that I was trying to break down old barriers and Jules was just the kind of person to help break me of my old patterns of behavior and turn me into a new and a different person. I was too used to putting up walls and barriers to keep people out when I was alone or with other people and someone had recommended that I call Jules up to correct the sad deficiencies of being a human being here on ‘Planet Earth’ once and for all so that I could move on with my Adult Life and live the kind of life that I needed to live. I trusted Jules enough to help make me feel better about my self emotionally, physically and psychologically and that was no easy task. I was being forced to obey Jules’ every direction, rules, order and edicts and though it was taking its’ toll on me tonight I felt like maybe, just maybe he would break me of my old bad habits I had formed since the day I was born from my mamas’ pussy in Queens General Hospital in New York City a long time ago in July of 1963. I had never felt this turned on or scared in my whole life and Jules realized that I was beginning to get emotional and tears began to stream down my face. This sadomasochism stuff really worked and we both knew it. It was almost too much to bear. What a “bad, bad, bad boy” I had become. Since I have a very soft spoken voice, I am just not used to speaking in front of a group of people whom I don’t even know and often get overlooked by people who tend to think of me as some kind of a faggoty whimp with the voice of a fairy. You can see where I run into problems with people quite frequently. Maybe it is all just my imagination running away with me. Just maybe. Well, they may be right about the fairy part as I am an angel in disguise, but a fag I am not. If you want to label me call me “bi-sexual”: I like to buy a lot of things. I’m more like a bisexual ambivalent bitch who’s constantly in heat and who needs some kind of attention all of the time because he just did not get enough love and attention while growing up with a pack of wolves. My sister and half brother are more normal than I act all the time, but what is NORML? I am learning how to channel myself in a more positive and a more meaning-full way these days like through music therapy, meditation and just plain sitting in a chair like I was doing right now but the only difference was that I was tied up and being forced to listen to a handsome master with a beautiful face, body and a big dick. After all, isn’t that what we all want? Beauty in disguise??? Hell, even the ugliest person in the world has their positive and negative qualities to bring to the table. From the way that I was feeling I had wondered if anyone had ever creamed his or her pants from being screamed at or yelled at for any length of time??? I would be willing to put my money on it but not wager a bet.

I asked Jules, “May I ask you a question, Sir?” in a direct and non-confrontational way that let him know I was in control. All he would say was, “You’ll speak when spoken to Brandon. Otherwise, I don’t want to hear another word out of your big fat mouth. You got that?”

I felt like I was in the military and I ought to keep my mouth shut for as long as possible without risking insubordination. But, at least I was not being forced to sign up for the Military. That would suck whether I was gay or not. Fuck “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” I prefer, “Do Ask, Do Tell.”

I promptly shut up and said quietly but loudly, “Yes Sir.”

Jules replied, “Good, very good. Now we are getting somewhere and I feel like you are learning something from me tonight. Now keep your mouth shut bitch.” I almost laughed out loud from nervousness and let out a slight giggle and Jules just put his hand over my mouth and said, “Who told you you could laugh, huh???” And with that, he slapped my left cheek hard again and belted out one of his hearty sadistic laughs and replied, “Boy, you have a lot to learn before I get through with you tonight. A LOT TO LEARN.” I felt like I was on my way to learning more about myself and more about the kind of person who was straddling my lower body and midsection and practically crushing my now hard dick and balls that were confined to my ratty old blue jeans and white boxer shorts I was wearing underneath. I looked at Jules again with a coy look in my eyes and he looked back at me and replied, “Why are you looking at me like that? Do you have something to say, BOY?” Trying to sound and act surprised in my tone of voice and the expression on my face, I said, “Don’t you like how I just looked at you, Sir? You know it was th…” And before I could finish my sentence to him, he hauled off and started slapping me silly with both of his hands and then he said, “Don’t give me those looks. You know it drives me nuts.” And then he added, “Besides, I can’t stand to be looked at like that. That’s the look of disturbed love and I just don’t like it.” By the time he got in the last word, I could see and tell that Jules was on the verge of tears and his voice became very shrill and loud. There was barely any emotion in it at all but you could feel and smell fear in his face. What a crescendo he had reached. The funny part of this whole scene was that he was the one who was supposed to be disciplining me and making me upset, but I got him right where it counted when it came to processing feelings and he was the one who was now taking it personally. I couldn’t believe my eyes and ears and how quickly things had turned around for me even though I was the one who was tied to a solid oak chair and the one who needed disciplining. You’d think that I had tied him up and turned him into a sadist and now he was playing the masochist role to a tee, but it was I who had become the Master and the Slave. So much for INSUBORDINATION. I was not the masochist turned sadist and I had him right where I wanted: on the verge of tears and in the palm of my hands. What a thrill I was experiencing. I’m not sure Jules even knew what I was up to. Too Bad!!! I wasn’t about to tell him why I allowed him to tie me up with Sailor’s Rope but it had to do with being such a bad, bad boy and needing to be paid attention to as well as the sadistic need to look at somebody I cared about and laugh directly or indirectly in their face without being killed for doing so. And, of course, the pain of being slapped around like I was some kind of a victim who loved doing this. To tell you the truth, I did not like this kind of stuff at all. I was just trying to find out how far I would go with him before I said, “Untie me, PLEASE MASTER, SIR!!!

And then I replied, “What’s gotten in to you? Can’t you see that I hate you, Jules?” Jules didn’t like what I had just said. I felt the harsh sting of my words on both sides of my face. Talk about feeling the pains of love. Or was it LUST? I’d felt like I had been stung by a hive of crazy bees which had gotten loose from their nest and which had gone on a rampage because someone had come by and inadvertently knocked their hive around and pissed them off royally. And I was just beginning to enjoy my 2nd encounter with Jules straddling me in his old but sturdy brown chair and enjoying the reason as to why I had come to him in the 1st place: to be abused, broken down and left feeling like a piece of royal dog or cat shit lying on the sidewalks of Portland, Maine waiting to be stepped in, crudely wiped off and thrown back on the sidewalk but enjoying every minute of what happened to me. Such a masochist I am, getting my kicks like that, enjoying my self at the same time that I was being treated in a manner that most human beings would consider barbaric and just a plain, an inhumane, a degrading and a disgusting

treatment of the human condition and the human spirit, but you know that some of us just have to be treated like shit occasion-ally, just to know how good we’ve got it and to know just how good life can really be because you just don’t know what you’ve got until it is gone and sometimes it is good to experience a little or a lot of pain so that you can build up your endurance, mentally, physically, as well as, emotionally, spiritually and psychically, psychologically and to basically become a stronger person and get on with the business of living your exciting but messed up life. Who knows, maybe Jules would tie me to the bed next time and make me have a really good time. But, one thing is for sure: I did not know how much more of this I could take emotionally without having a complete and udder nervous breakdown emotionally and balling my eyes out tonight. And, to top it off, it was only Monday night, not Friday or Saturday night. What a bummer. My week had barely started and I felt like I was in for HELL & DAMNATION TONIGHT.

Personally, I didn’t care if Jules punched my lights out and broke my nose and I woke up with a throbbing headache and the feeling of being run over by him physically and emotionally. But, I wasn’t going to tell him that I wanted him to abuse me that much because I did not know if he was capable of going to such lengths and since I had just made him so mad with the coy look on my face, I thought that I would just go along with his program and not push him around too much with my wordy baggage. Time to settle back and relax some more.

I had basically found the core of his pain and the center of his hurt in his twisted soul even though I was the one who was tied NAKED to the solid old oak chair by my wrists and ankles with old sailors’ rope. So, I thought that I would just take it easy and not push him over the edge too much more because I was the one who had come to him for abuse and pain but one must understand that it takes two to tango and I was also milking my 2nd experience with Jules for all that it was worth and I was not about to go away an unsatisfied customer as I came to him for both pleasure and pain and I now felt like I was getting what I wanted even though I was now beginning to feel the pain of being slapped repeatedly on the cheeks of my face and of having to put up with Jules stinging abuse and harsh words. So, I was ultimately the masochist here. But, the tables were turned and I got to be the sadist for a brief moment and I felt like the ‘King of the Mountain’. I felt like I was enjoying both pleasure and pain, as well as, of being in control of my own destiny through emotional reactions and responses which were very real and I was starting to feel better about why I enjoyed such negative attention and derision from another man and he was the one who was supposed to be enjoying the power and the feeling of ownership which came along with tying me up to his desk chair and taking control of the situation and of making me do what he wanted me to do, not what I wanted him to do. But, when playing S&M games, sometimes it is hard to tell who is the abuser or the abusee and who has the roles of power and control which become enmeshed in each other.

All of a sudden, Jules became very quiet and he said to me in a very harsh tone of voice, “Now you are really going to get it Brandon. You’ve really pissed me off this time.” And then without another word, I felt my legs being slapped by his very big hands. They came down really hard on my thighs especially and the backs of the thighs and lower legs and all I could hear was a loud, “whack, whack, whack, whack, whack.” Over and over again. And then I heard Jules laugh that sadistic laugh of his and I thought for sure that I had reached the end of the line and I’d be beheaded or shot through the head with a gun next. But, all I could hear was Jules’ laughter and he said to me, “Brandon, you’re such a sick son of a bitch. What makes you think that you can just waltz in here like you normally do with that gorgeous smile on your face and what makes you think that you can control me like that?” And then he says again, “You’re the one who called me up for a session the other day and I’m just the guy to administer the pain and the pleasure that you so desperately need because you’re paying me for this session and you are the one who is tied down to my desk chair! So, you’d better enjoy your self while you still can because this session will not last forever and I haven’t got all night to deal with your bullshit. 'Ya got that boy?”

I said very firmly, “Yes Sir!” and with that he slapped my legs even harder with both hands like he was preparing a steak meal for supper with a meat tenderizer: his hands. I could feel my legs and thighs turning a beat red and I could feel the rush of blood underneath the skin to just underneath the surface

and then just as soon as I had felt the sting on my strong and firm legs and then the receding of the pain, I felt the warmth of blood rising to the surface of the skin that came with being slapped hard on the legs. Ahhh, what a rush and how it felt to get my thighs and legs slapped silly by a hot, strapping young stud such as Jules was. I wondered what he had underneath that bulging white jockstrap that was the only thing that covered his private parts. And from what I could tell, Jules was getting all turned on with each minute that passed us by. He would tell all of my friends what we had in common: that he hated S&M and B&D with a passion and they would believe him whole heartedly, but I knew the difference and the score here and I could tell that he was totally getting off on the experience from the way he was acting, but this time around, I also seemed to be eliciting more of a response from Jules than he had wanted to show me or to give me because he was taking it all person-ally and I felt like there was more of a give and a take for the both of us and that there were two people in the room enjoying what was happening between each other and it was not one of those strict teacher/student relationships or the typical situation of a person going to a person to be dominated and told what to do in the world of Sado-Masochism and Bondage-Discipline. I was not here strictly for the punishment and the person administering the pain and the pleasure was not just doing his or her job. How boring that would have been to me. This felt like more than just two people getting their jollies. We were both being turned on to the idea of BDSM and the sheer danger of administering pain and pleasure at the same time. There really was NO DANGER, UNLESS YOU CROSSED THE LINE. It was like a symphony of words and music with crescendos, interludes and passages that seemed to go on for an eternity and then to break into some kind of a lull only to build back up to a final crescendo, another interlude, more passages of time and finally, an end to the music.

This felt like more than two grown men getting their jollies. It felt like love to me, but you can never be too sure of love with your self when it concerns the administering of pain and pleasure, especially when this was only my 2nd experience with Jules and all of these feelings were coming out of me and Jules was acting so different from our first encounter. How strange and exciting things had become for the both of us, especially me, since I was the one who was tied up and thinking about all of this while I was on the receiving end of pain and pleasure and Jules administered each dose with a precision and a carefulness that only a SADIST could. I felt like he was feeling it too!!! I felt like I wanted to get to know Jules more and spend the rest of my life with him, but I couldn’t tell if Jules was getting all turned on by the experience and he was just playing the role I had asked him to play, but it sure felt different tonight. I felt more bold and audacious so I said to Jules, “What’s next on the agenda, Sir?” And he just replied, “You just don’t know when to keep your mouth shut, do you Brandon?” I’ll just have to punish you a lot more than you’ve been punished up ‘til now because you are acting like such a bad boy. You’ve been a meathead lately, haven’t you?”

I replied, “A meathead?” I laughed out loud. And with that Jules walked away and I decided to shut my mouth and see what happened next. It did not take long to find out. I sat there for not more than a minute or two and then I heard Jules walk up to the side of the oak chair and the next thing I know, I can’t see a thing as he blindfolded my eyes with a material which felt like a cool satin over my face and I felt like I was at some kind of a health spa enjoying myself with a cool avocado spread that had been applied to my eyes as a salve to relax them and to make me feel better, except that is was only my eyes being blinded by a blindfold. Need less to say, it still felt good and I suddenly felt tired. I enjoyed what was happening to me as a grown man but I felt even more paranoid now because my vision had been cut off on purpose and Jules just replied, “This is what you get for opening your big mouth. Keep it up and I’ll turn off more of your senses, one by one, if you know what I’m saying. Just keep it up!!!” I just smiled and laughed to myself. It was all I could do from bursting out.

All I could do was open my mouth and spite my self unintentionally by saying, “Well Jules, it’s about time that you blocked out one of my senses because I was beginning to wonder if anything else would happen next.” And then he replied, “You just don’t know how to shut up or when to quit, do you Brandon?” Maybe I ought to leave you here for the night and go out and enjoy my self at the local bar, Sinister, and have a few beers and then come back with a whole bunch of hot looking guys and we’ll all rape your silly ass and make you so sore for days from all of the sexual, physical, mental and emotional abuse that you won’t want to think about having another one of our sessions for quite a long time. And you won’t want to have sex with anyone for quite some time. Maybe you’ll think about going straight for a while, but I highly doubt that Brandon. Once a cocksucker, always a cocksucker. After all, that is what you really are Brandon: A COCKSUCKER with a need to be abused by another man or a group of men. What an Abnormal panty waste and a loser you have become. If I were you I would just jump off of a really tall bridge and hope you land on water at 70 miles per hour and then hit the rocks and drown. But, if I know you, you would survive an ordeal like that somehow. You would just survive somehow, even if that meant you were stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of your life breathing out of an oxygen tube. What a waste of human energy and space.” And with that, he quickly retorted, “Nah, you’d probably enjoy that scene much too much so I think that I’ll just pass on that fun scene for now and wait until I am good and ready to pull that shit on you.”

And then, just to not throw all caution to the wind, “You’re so right Jules. Where’d you learn how to be so perceptive and read my mind so well? You’re sooooooooo… right. I’d enjoy that scene way too much for your chagrin.” And then I laughed heartily and OUTLOUD again, but this time I couldn’t stop laughing.

And with that, I felt a hot riding crop hit my chest over and over and over again for what felt like an eternity and I just loved the fact that the leather riding crop kept hitting my worked out broad chest over and over and over again until I could feel more blood rush to just below the skin and the cool air on my hot skin and the feeling of warm blood flowing just below the skin. It felt like someone was administering first aid to my now bruised and very hot chest and legs. At least, this is what I thought in my fucked up mind. I wondered if Jules had drawn any blood yet and hoped that there were not too many cuts, scrapes and bruises oozing blood out of them. And then, I felt the riding crop hitting my chest and legs again and Jules was saying in his sadistic tone of voice, “So Brandon, how do you like that? Are you beginning to feel the pain and the pleasure or am I just wasting my time with you, DEAR BOY?”

I replied, “You can just stop what you’re doing any time soon as I get the message, Sir Jules.”

And then he replied, “Now you’re starting to talk like a real man Brandon. I’m so glad that one of us is now listening. Because, if you don’t start learning how to pay attention and listen to your self more often, you are going to walk through life being a sad case for the psychologist, boy. Don’t you get it or are you just wasting MY TIME for the FUCK of IT?” I just replied, “Yes Sir,” in a less than authoritative voice and he noticed how I had replied and he said, “Speak up more clearly when spoken to, Boy Brandon. You’re just not projecting your voice to me properly yet. You need to speak more clearly from your diaphragm more and to use tones that convey to me that you really understand what I am talking about here, BOY.” He almost sounded like a hick from the Bible Belt in the South of these United States of America.

So, I replied, much more emphatically, “YES SIR. I’m a FUCKING PANSY.”

And for emphasis I said, “And, I LOVE IT!” He just looked at me and laughed that ridiculous Bette Davis laugh of his and said, “Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.” “HA.”

“Good, good. Now you know your place in the world. You are just a little fucking pansy. That’s all you are to me, Brandon. A little fucking pansy. And, I am your master for the evening. Your host, if you will. Now, let’s get to the bottom of the real reason why you came to me for this hot little session you are paying me $500.00. Is it the sex you wanted? Hmmm!” And with that, Jules slapped the tops of my thighs with his bare hands hard, but this time he took his index finger and ran it lightly over my dick and balls and then down to my puckered shitter and started roughly poking and prodding me and trying to stick his finger up inside, but he stopped short of his index finger entering the canal. And then he said, “I’ll save that for later.”

“Damn,” I thought to my self. And, I felt so turned on that I couldn’t control my self and I started wriggling around in the chair like a horny sailor in heat. I bucked my ass and body in the air when Jules took his index finger out from below my hairy, smelly balls from between my asscheeks and all he could do was reply, “Not so fast you slimy asshole. We’ll get to the pleasure part soon enough. Why don’t you just calm down a little bit, you gutless pig. I’m the one who’s in control of you. Keep it up and I’ll shove my dick up your asshole without any lubrication. And, you’ll have no choice but to like it.” The thought of that happening made me shudder and more turned on at the prospect of having sex with Jules!!! But, who knew if we’d even get to that point in our hot session this evening. Who knew. All I could do was whimper at the thought and the prospect of Jules shoving his hot and rigid prick up my slimy, moist shitter. I felt like a pig in heat underneath the hot sun as the perspiration dripped off my back and slid between my hot rump and crack. I felt the flushness in my face and like I was really being turned on by this hot strapping young stud who was administering pain and pleasure to me but who I felt like he was torturing me until I couldn’t take it anymore and I would just die from a lack of attention because he was teasing me to the brink of an orgasm and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted the real deal and nothing more. He was the real deal. Or, at least I thought so. Maybe he wasn’t.

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