Secret Agent Man

The last two months of my life were spent being a gopher for a senior agent who didn’t take me seriously. I had a master’s in psychological profiling, had passed all my training classes with near-perfect marks, and had done enough coffee runs to last a lifetime. When the senior supervisor called me in to give me my evaluation and hopefully a new assignment, I was nervously excited. My excitement dropped when I saw Agent Driver seated in the office.

The supervisor began with, “Good, you’re early. Agent Miller, I’ve gone over your record and discussed your behavior with Agent Driver. He’s also given you very high marks for professionalism, problem-solving, and attention to detail. I’ve decided to team you on this next assignment.”

I was stunned. Agent Asshole had given me high marks. All he had done for the past two months is ride my ass (and not in any way that felt good), demand the impossible (which I was actually able to deliver on two occasions), and sent me out for coffee.

“Thank you, sir.” I thought that would be my best response. “When will I be briefed on this assignment?”

“I’ll take care of that, Dick-son.” Driver loved to call me that. My name was Dixon. He called everyone else by last name except me.

“Got it.” The less I said, the better. Ten minutes later, we were in a car headed to a safe house. He told me it was usual stuff. We’d be watching someone going into Witness Protection.

“Now, Dick, I’ve never been to this particular house, but I’ve read the report on it. There are three levels of outside security.”

“Standard levels?” I asked.

“Affirmative. Inside, there’s a two-level safe room occupying the second and third floors. Access to the second level is through a type 3 access port. The stairs from the first floor lead only to dummy bedrooms. There are cameras out the ass in the place. They are hardwired and encoded wireless, and any attempt to deactivate them sends off an alarm that also activates all the outdoor lighting.”

“Seems impenetrable. So how will they attempt to get in?”

“I’m considering they’ll try using an emergency escape tunnel,” he told me.

“I thought those had been eliminated, even though the last report indicates no one has successfully made it up the tunnel going the wrong way. Those spiky things can kill a fellow.”

“I haven’t heard of anyone making it, but you know, Dick, I saw a thing about fixing sewer pipes, and I thought that if you send something like that up the escape tunnel and activated it, you’d have a new tunnel lining that’s safer to scale.”

“Interesting.” I’d seen a video of that, too. I’d never considered using it for that. “The tunnel is larger than a sewer pipe, isn’t it?”

“You got me on that one, Dick.” I heard him sigh.

I guess Dick is my new pet name. “How many cameras are in the tunnel?”

“Four or Five, but they aren’t monitored until one end or the other is opened.”

“Can we override that and start monitoring right away?”

“Already done, my boy. I have to work extra hard to stay ahead of you. But that’s why I asked to have you as my partner on this. You might be new at this, but you’re really good. I know I gave you a hard time, but I needed to know you were the right stuff, and you are.”

That made me smile, but my mind was still thinking that the bad guys could still be a step ahead of us.

We’d been in the house for about ten minutes when I discovered my training roommate Andrew was one of the monitors. His job was to scan the camera input for anything suspicious. We shook hands as though we were being introduced for the first time, but we acknowledged that we already knew one another. We didn’t admit to how well.

I immediately went to work looking for alternate ways for unauthorized entry. It didn’t take long for me to discover that the cooling area behind the computer racks had open access to a small box-shaped alcove. Based on the plans. That alcove was under a bed in one of the false bedrooms. Even though it was boxed in, it wouldn’t take that much effort to bust out, or to bust into it for that matter. And the bedroom could be accessed from the hall via a hidden bookcase. The space behind the computer rack was only 8 inches wide. While not everyone could slide in that small a space, I knew that I could. I wondered whether to say anything to Agent Driver, but I decided to keep it to myself for the time being.

I continued to study the layout of the safehouse until Driver called me down to meet the reason we were going to be imprisoned here for two weeks. His name was Alec Moreno. He was a five-foot-ten Greek god. At 18 years old, he was as muscular as one of the Greek or Roman statues of days gone by. His skin was the color of light caramel, kissed by the sun I think is the phrase. The torn t-shirt that he wore revealed light blond chest hair. The hair on his head was just a shade darker. He needed a shave, shower, and a brush taken to his locks, but he was gorgeous. I had trained myself not to react to handsome men, but I kept watching Andrew. I wondered whether he might give himself away. He did seem slightly nervous, but nothing out of character considering the assignment was one of our first.

Agents Bluefeather and Stephens were standing beside Alec. After our names were called out, Stephens shoved Alec forward a little. “This one needs a shower; he stinks.”

“Does he have a change of clothes?” I asked. Bluefeather threw a bag at my face. I caught it.

“I think there are some panties in there.”

I sensed some definite hostility. “Come with me, Alec; I’ll show you where the shower is.”

He looked up at me; his eyes were really sad. I didn’t know his story, but he was obviously in a high level of danger. I took him to the shower room. I was sure I hear Stephens mumble the word ‘faggot’ as we left the area. Upon entering the bathroom, I started the water. “It should warm up quickly,” I told Alec. I checked the bag; it was filled with standard Fruit of the Loom briefs. I pulled one out and set it on the edge of the sink and placed a towel next to it.

Alec had removed his shirt. If we had been anywhere else, I would have asked him to dance. What an incredible chest he had, beautiful abs, too. I saw him check the water, and then turn back to look at me.

“Sorry, I have to stay here with you. And the door stays open too. Those are the rules.”

He nodded. “I understand. At least you’re not yelling at me.”

“I’m here to make sure you stay safe, Alec. I don’t know what went on with those other two, but I’m on your side unless you do something to change my mind.”

He removed the rest of his clothes and stepped into the shower. His thighs and legs were as built as the rest of him. I’d say he trimmed his pubic hair, and his dick was a healthy 5 or 6 inches while flaccid. He caught me looking at it, but my attention was taken away by approaching footsteps.

Driver walked in. “I found out what the kid is in for.” His words were to me, but I could tell that he was eye-fucking our assignment.

“Are you going to tell me?” I asked; then I dropped my voice, “or are you going to rape the guy with your stares?”

Driver cheeks reddened. “He’s a witness. Seems his daddy caught the gardener’s son sucking on him. Fuckin’ shot him right there. Daddy’s done a lot of bad stuff, hasn’t he kid? But killing your boyfriend was the last straw.”

“It wasn’t like that,” Alec spat back angrily. He turned and looked at me. “I knew my dad had done some bad stuff, but I didn’t realize how bad. Gregorio was my friend; he was my only friend. We weren’t lovers. It was my birthday, and my mother wasn’t coming. I was really angry and sad. Gregorio wished me a happy birthday, and then he gave me a hug. My father walked in just then. He knocked Gregorio down, called him a queer, and shot him in the head. He shot my only friend right in front of me. He’s a monster.” Alec started crying.

“Save it for the jury, kid.” Driver walked off without saying anything else.

“That’s terrible, Alec. I’m sorry that happened to you.” I stood up.

Driver rolled his eyes at me. Why was Driver so unsympathetic? Did he know something I didn’t? Maybe Alec wasn’t being truthful. I didn’t have enough field experience to decide. Alec shut off the water. I walked over and handed him the towel. I needed to stay alert. Something was making the hairs on the back of my head stand up. Was Alec being truthful, or was this a ploy to get him into a safehouse and slaughter some agents, or was I already a cynic? Would his father send someone to get rid of him and as many of us as they could? Everything seemed to be going by the textbook so far, but still?

“Is there something clean I can wear besides these undies?” Alec stood with his hands stretched out to his sides. The briefs covered his privates nicely, and I had to get my brain to refocus yet again.

“I’ll see if I can get you something. Driver?”

Driver came lumbering back into the room. “What is it Dick-son?”

“Would you watch him for a minute while I try to find him a shirt or something?”

Driver sighed. “Hurry the fuck up. I was eating.”

I went and pulled a sweatshirt and pants from my luggage. I knew they’d be too big, but it was better than having him tempt my dick over and over again. I walked back into the restroom to find that Driver had pulled his gun on Alec.

“What the hell happened?”

“He took a step toward me.”

“He’s the witness, not the bad guy.”

There was a funny scraping sound from somewhere outside the house.

“What was that?” asked Driver.

I shook my head, but I was listening intently.

“Check it out,” Driver whispered. “I’ll stay with him.”

Bluefeather was in the main room; he was also listening. I thought I heard the keyboard clicking in the monitor room. Bluefeather gave me the quiet signal, a finger to the lips. I went in and found Andrew at his station.

“Status?” I asked in a whisper..

“Nothing to report. Go back to the other room and let me concentrate.”

I saw a slight flick on one of the monitors. “What was that?”

“Dammit, Dixon.”

In an instant, I saw his hand quiver and move.

I jumped and rolled out of the room. He had no reason to move toward his weapon, so I pulled mine. I aimed it toward the doorway where I expected my former lover to appear. Another movement. He had rolled out in the opposite direction, stood up and fired a shot. Bluefeather never saw it coming. He fell to the floor with a thud.