Repent

It was the end of fall semester, sophomore year. Nick had just finished the last of his final exams and walked out of the building to feel the cold, brisk air of freedom. He felt confident about his performance. A smile stretched across his face and he headed straight for his car. A packed bag was already waiting for him at his apartment. It was time to head home for winter break.

Nick hadn’t seen his parents since Thanksgiving, and aside from that, it had been since summer. He enjoyed his time at school and his visits home became less frequent after freshman year. He was really coming into his own and he found that his visits home, while nice, seemed to bring him back to his high school days. They felt like backwards steps.

Nevertheless, he was excited to see his family again. Nick missed his parents and the accompanied comfort of having things done for him. A month of free food, free laundry, and video games awaited him.

The drive home was nearly five hours. Filled with loud singing and snacks, it seemed to fly by. He cruised on the rolling hills and winding roads as he neared his destination. When he pulled into the driveway, his dad came out to greet him. His dad’s hair had turned a little more gray but Nick could only hope to age as gracefully. Nick was an average height like his dad, with slim toned muscles and a sharp jaw. He had dark brown hair and green eyes. He was by all accounts, a classically handsome young man.

“My man! He’s back! How were the finals?”

“Easy peasy”

“Fuckin’ nerd”

They both chuckled and leaned in for a quick hug and firm pats on the back.

“Your mom started dinner, we’ll eat shortly. You need help bringing anything in?”

“Nope, it’s just the one bag. I’m all good”

Nick looked up at the house. The large suburban home that he’d grown up in. What used to be a comfort to him, but now felt weirdly foreign. It had changed so much. The basketball hoop was gone. The front yard was perfectly raked and new Christmas lights were strung all over. His parents were very comfortable in their new empty nesting stage. Nick smelled dinner as soon as he walked through the door.

“Put your bag down honey, and come eat. You must be starving!”

His mom flung her arms out for a hug. They embraced tightly before she handed him a plate. They got their food and sat down.

Conversation went as expected at first. They asked about classes and grades. About Nick’s friends. His extra-circulars. And then the daunting question that Nick was hoping to avoid.

“Sooo… any girls in the picture?”

Nick wasn’t out to his parents. Back at school, he was the token gay guy in his friend group. He had his hookups and a few flings here and there, but nothing too serious yet. However, in this god-loving Christian home, Nick kept his sexuality under wraps. He glanced up at the cross on the wall before responding to his mother.

“Nope. No one yet. I’m focusing on my classes mom”

“No one at all?”

“School is hard. You know, some parents would beg for their kids to have this kind of focus”

“I’m just saying. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if you met someone. It would be nice to see you happy”

“I am happy, mom”

“I know. But you know what I mean”

There was a beat of silence in the room. Nick’s dad gave him a cautionary look telling him to tread carefully. Nick grinned back at him. This was obviously a topic that she brought up a lot around the house. Nick was tired of walking on eggshells and didn’t know what else to say.

“And what if I didn’t bring a girl home?”

Nick’s heart began pounding in his chest. He immediately regretted his words. He had started himself on a path that he may not like.

“Well now what on earth do you mean by that?”

Another silence followed.

“I just mean… like what if I brought someone home that wasn’t a girl”

His father stopped chewing his food and his mother set her fork down on her plate.

“I’m sure you’re not serious”

“Humor me”

“Nicholas, you know homosexuality is a sin… Please don’t do this to me. Tell me that school isn’t teaching you to have inappropriate thoughts of other men”

“Regina”

Nick’s dad chimed in to cool the rising tensions. Nick could feel his heartbeat in his throat and his knuckles turned white as he gripped his thumb in his fist out of nervousness.

“Mom please. Don’t be like that. It’s just who I am, I can’t help it. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you’d bring down the Jesus guilt trip”

“Don’t you dare forsake him in this household. What has gotten into you?”

Nick held his tongue. He looked at his dad, who stared back with compassion.

“What matters is you told us. We’re your parents and you can always tell us anything”

Nick smiled at his dad, relieved by what he had said. But he continued.

“I just don’t know how we are gonna fix this”

Nick’s smile soured into a look of betrayal. By this point, the regret could not be understated. Nick couldn’t believe he already ruined his trip home. He saw his backpack still sitting up against the wall and wondered what time he’d get back to his apartment if he left now.

“Sweetie, we love you. We just want to see you live a good life. I don’t want to see you turn to a path of sin”

Nick had lost all connection with the church. He hadn’t been since his parents made him go last Christmas. He considered himself alienated by his faith and an agnostic at best. But he knew his parents would never let this go.

“Please mom. I promise you, I’m still me”

Nick’s father interrupted again.

“What if we have him talk to Pastor Dean?”

“Yes, I think that’s a great idea. We should go see him honey”

Nick grumbled at the thought. Pastor Dean was nothing more to him than a monotone voice that put him to sleep as a kid. A strange man that treated Nich like a nephew despite barely knowing him. But he thought this could perhaps curb the tension that he’d caused.

“Fine. I’ll go talk to Pastor Dean. But I don’t want you there”

“Nicky, don’t be like that”

“No, he’s right Regina. Let him go alone. This is between him and God”

The rest of the dinner was silent and tense. Nick finished his food as fast as he could so he could be dismissed. He had absolutely no appetite but he couldn’t stand to be in the room for another minute.

Once in his room, he shut the door, sat on his bed, and cradled his head in his hands. The bandaid was finally ripped off, but at what cost? He counted himself fortunate for still being allowed to stay in the house. He tried his best to get some sleep after the long day.

In the morning, he went downstairs to find his mom in the kitchen. He wanted so desperately to get back to where he was with her. He felt like such a disappointment and he just wanted to feel loved again.

“Good morning”

“I wrote down Pastor Dean’s number there. You should give him a call today”

Nick rolled his eyes behind her back and peeled the sticky note off the counter. He walked out into the backyard to make the call in private and get it over with.

“… Howdy howdy, this is Dean”

“Pastor Dean. It’s Nick Thompson. How are you?”

“Nicky boy, it’s so good to hear from you! I’m doin’ well, how about yourself?”

“I’m good. I wanted to see if you had any availability for a meeting. I wanted to have a chat”

“Ah, yes. Listen Nick, your mother called earlier and told me about your problem. I want you to know that it’s ok. You can talk to me about anything and we can work through it. God’s love is always there for those willing to receive it”

They worked out a time for later that evening. Nick would meet Pastor Dean at the church and they would discuss Nick’s proclivities.

Nick’s mother was thrilled to hear it and almost immediately, the tension between them dissipated. They spent the day lounging around the house. She made him snacks and he played video games. Nick was feeling much better about the situation. Time seemed to slip away and before he knew it, the clock struck five.

“Mom, I gotta head up to the church now. I’ll eat when I get back”

“Ok, I love you sweetie. Please listen to Pastor Dean. He’s a good man and he can really help you”

“I know mom”

Against all his good sense, Nick drove up to the church and walked right in the door. The place smelled the same as it did when he was a kid. The sunset illuminated the podium at the front of the room through stained glass windows, giving off a warm tone to the place he’d grown cold to. The pews stretched across the room, empty and inviting. Nick sat down in one of the back rows and watched as specs of dust floated through the rays of light.

Footsteps approached and Pastor Dean emerged from one of the side doors. He looked exactly how Nick remembered him. A man of sixty that stood six feet fall, with a full head of gray hair, broad shoulders, and a chest that filled out his dark blue sweater. He wore glasses and a had short, well kept beard with a mustache.

“Nicky… come join me”

He smiled softly and walked towards the podium. Nick rose to his feet and walked in that direction.

“I’m so glad you came. I’ve been thinking about you today”

“Thanks. But I’m really just here to appease my mom. I know what you’re going to say and with all due respect, I don’t care to hear it”

“Woah there Nicky”

“Don’t call me that”

“Hey. Hey. Hey. Calm down. Don’t get all worked up. I’m not here to lecture you”

“You’re not?”

“No. Listen Nick, I’m not here to tell you how to live your life. I just want to make sure that whatever you do, you glorify God when you do it”

“I don’t even know what that means anymore”

“Come here Nick, have a seat”

Pastor Dean pulled a chair over and sat it right in the middle of the small stage. He patted the seat and stood behind it. Nick walked cautiously over to it and sat down. He felt the Pastor’s hands on his shoulders.

“Look out at the pews, Nick”

“I want you to picture them full. I know you haven’t been in church much lately, but just bear with me. Picture them full. Picture God’s love flowing through this room and filling the hearts of everyone in here. All of those people have their own struggles and their own turmoil. But they commit. They put God first and they commit. And because of that, they’ll be saved. They know that whatever they go through is worth it. Because through him, we find meaning, purpose, and a final resting peace. That’s what I want for you. I want you to commit yourself. Save yourself”

“Pastor Dean, I’m sorry but I just don’t think I belong here anymore”

“Nonsense. Everyone belongs here. You just have to live a life that he wants for you. Refrain from sin. And if you do sin, you need to repent for it”

“I don’t consider what I do a sin. With all due respect, I don’t think I have anything to repent for”

Pastor Dean tightened his grip on Nick’s shoulders.

“We all have things we need to repent for”

The Pastor released his hold and walked around to the front of the chair. Nick looked up at him. The tension between them was palpable.

“Even you?”

“Yes. Even me. Impure thoughts are like demons trying to grab hold of us. We must slip past them”

“Do you have impure thoughts, Pastor?”

There was no response. Pastor Dean turned away from Nick and stood at the podium, gazing out at the empty room. His eyes looked up at the ceiling and he muttered something to himself.

“What’d you say?”

“Nothing, my boy”

His hands clenched the sides of the podium, his nails digging into it.

“Surrendering to your temptations and desires will put you under the wrong influence. Tell me, have you given in to your desires?”

Nick, irritated with the line of questioning, gave a quick and harsh answer.

“Are you asking if I’ve fucked a man?”

The Pastor turned around abruptly and grabbed a hold of Nick by the sides of his arms.

“You watch your words in here, young man. Don’t you dare desecrate this place with your foul mouth”

“Sorry”

Nick’s apology was soft and timid. He rolled his shoulders to get the Pastor to let go of him. He was dumbfounded that the man had laid his hands on him. Pastor Dean stood up straight again and peered down at Nick with a look of disapproval.

Suddenly, his hands jolted forward, grabbing the lower part of Nick’s face, squeezing his cheeks.

“God would see you punished for your acts. He’s reviled by your filth and lack of self control”

His hand returned to his side. There was silence again. Nick, too scared to look him in the eye, looked straight forward and noticed the bulge in Pastor Dean’s pants. His khakis hugged his thighs tightly and the creases pointed like arrows to the large mound that rested under his belt buckle. Nick slowly moved his eyes upward, his gaze tracing the Pastor’s body along the way. When they locked eyes, the Pastor’s eyebrows lowered and his eyes narrowed.

Pastor Dean grabbed a handful of Nicks hair and pulled his face towards his crotch. Nick used his hands to brace himself against the Pastor’s legs while his face pressed against the warm protrusion.

“Is this what you’re tempted to, boy?”

Nick opened his mouth and let his lips engulf the outline of the Pastors growing erection. He let out a small moan. That’s when the Pastor pulled Nicks head back. He yanked his hair down and back, forcing him to look up. Pastor Dean spit down on Nick’s face.

“Pathetic. You’re weak minded”

Nick looked at him with pleading eyes. He took deep, fast breaths through his mouth that still hung open. He thought his heart might pound out of his chest. Pastor Dean spoke in a deep, gravelly voice.

“Go on then”

He let go of Nicks hair and looked down at his own bulge. Nick cautiously reached forward to unbuckle his belt. With each step he glanced up for approval from Pastor Dean, who stared down at him with authoritative scrutiny.

First, Nick unbuckled the belt. Then he unbuttoned the pants. Next was the zipper. Then he pulled the pants down slightly to reveal the form fitting boxer briefs. Nick tucked his fingers in the elastic waistband and glanced up one more time before pulling them down.

“You sure you want to do that?”

Nick nodded ever so slightly. Pastor Dean broke eye contact and looked straight ahead. Nick pulled down on the underwear. His finger tips combed through the Pastor’s pubes and met the base of his erection. He continued, slowly unveiling more and more. When the tip was finally free, the thick, heavy cock flopped out in front of him. Nick’s mouth was practically watering.

He wrapped a hand around it and felt its weight in his grip. He felt the heat emanating off of it and smelled the musk of sweat. He noticed a large vein that weaved and spanned almost the entire shaft. He touched his lips to the tip. The Pastor sharply inhaled.

As Nick’s lips traveled further forward, he tasted the slight saltiness of sweat. He swirled his tongue around, smearing it along bottom side. He went as far forward as he could until he felt it touch the back of his throat. At which point Pastor Dean grabbed a hold of his head.

“Repent, boy”

The pastor muttered as he started to force Nick’s head back and forth. He grunted and struggled to get out shallow breaths as he propelled himself further into Nick’s throat.

Nick, being overtaken by a feeling of ecstasy, wrapped his arms around the Pastor’s legs and let out little whimpers. He stared at the Pastors pubes. Well trimmed and cradled by a prominent ‘V’ shape of muscle at his waist. He wanted to see more of his body. His hands felt the massive size of his legs. Pastor Dean was a well built man.

The Pastor’s cock had swollen to its full size in Nicks mouth and he could feel it throbbing against his tongue and cheeks. The sweet taste of precum was diluted by his spit. And the deep toned hum coming from the Pastor synced up with his motions.

He pulled Nicks head back and retreated from his throat. Nick looked up at him with a red, puffy face and spit dripping off his chin. Pastor Dean lightly slapped Nick on the cheek.

“Is this punishment enough for you?”

“I want more”

Nick’s submissive eyes practically begged for Pastor Dean to continue. So he grappled Nick by his shirt and forced him to the ground. Pastor Dean pushed the chair off to the side and it crashed off the stage and into a wall.

He yanked on Nick’s shirt and pulled it off of him. Nick had beautifully smooth skin. His abs were well defined and his muscles were toned, although much slimmer than Pastor Dean’s. Then the Pastor began to take his own shirt off. His arms crossed as he gripped the bottom of his shirt. He pulled it up over his head. Nick watched as the sweater revealed a firm but undefined stomach, large pecs coated in well trimmed chest hair, and armpits that looked inviting enough for a nose to nestle in. As the Pastor tossed his shirt off to the side and rested his beefy arms at his side, Nick felt another stirring. His arms were the same size as Nick’s legs. He wanted to be crushed under the weight of this man.

Pastor Dean pushed his pants down to his ankles and stepped out of them. Nick began to unbuckle his own belt. Just as he got his pants undone, the Pastor helped him glide them off of his legs. Nick sat down on his knees and admired the towering man before him. He cautiously reached forward to grab a hold of the Pastor’s throbbing erection, hoping to continue where they left off moments ago. But Pastor Dean slapped his face again. Nick looked up at him, shocked.

“Turn around”

Nick felt a nervous wave of chills wash over his body. His heart was still pounding in his chest. He turned around to face away from the hulking man. Pastor Dean lowered himself one knee at a time and scooted himself up against Nick.

His rock hard cock rested against him, nestled between Nick’s cheeks, his tip on his lower back. Nick gave a muffled gasp and reached his hand back to touch the Pastor’s thigh. Pastor Dean reached both hands around Nick and his colossal arms seem to swallow the kid. His chest pressed up against Nick’s back and his cock stamped harder against the tight little ass. He whispered hot breath into Nick’s ear.

“I’m gonna fuck you, boy. Is that what you want?”

Nick pushed through his nerves and managed to get out a single word with his cracked voice.

“Please”

Pastor Dean set Nick free from his arms and shoved him forward onto his hands. He gripped the base of his cock firmly with one hand and smacked it several times against Nick’s ass. Then he dropped a wad of spit on it and worked it around, glazing his cock in a thin layer.

He spit again on Nick’s ass. It landed right between his cheeks and the Pastor used his tip to spread it down to Nick’s opening. He could feel Nick’s puckered little hole kiss his tip. He used his free hand to hold on to Nick’s shoulder like a guardrail.

Nick closed his eyes and braced himself for impact. He felt the pressure growing at his hole. Pastor Dean pushed harder and his tip started to make its way in. He gave one big thrust and suddenly plunged into Nick’s ass.

Nick let out a small cry of shock and he felt Pastor Dean collapse onto him. They both held still for several seconds to enjoy the sensation. Nick felt the Pastor’s sizable hands wrap around his waist, stretching most of the way around his body.

Pastor Dean peeled himself off of Nick and straightened his torso. He began to slide forward and back, picking up pace over time. Nick’s tight hole squeezed his cock in each motion. Nick lifted his head and stared at the stained glass windows above him. He admired the warm light seeping into the room that somehow complimented the warm sensation in his hole. His blood rushed, coursing through his veins, creating a sense of euphoria.

Pastor Dean pumped faster. Lustful passion took over and he gave in to his bodily nature. He gave Nick a firm smack on his ass and continued to thrust against him. He looked up at the cross on the wall and a near mania took over.

Nick felt a hand move from his waist to the back of his neck. It yanked him back and then pivoted to the front of his neck. It closed around his throat like an animal caught in a trap. Nick grabbed hold of the wrist, hoping to soothe it into lightening the pressure.

Pastor Dean clapped against Nick’s ass a few more times, forcefully. Then he pulled out and grappled Nick again. He flipped him onto his back and held his legs up, exposing his pulsating hole again. Nick was ready for the Pastor to ravage him.

The Pastor’s cock dove in again and he held himself at his deepest point. His balls rested against Nick’s ass. His breath was heavy and he looked down at Nick, whose mouth hung open with excitement and exhaustion.

Nick looked up at Pastor Dean to see his face had softened. The man’s torso hung over him like a rock ledge. The rays of light illuminated his body, giving emphasis to the sparkling beads of sweat that dripped down his neck and chest. Nick felt his hole snugly filled with the thick, throbbing cock. It pressed against his prostate. He felt a sense of elation radiate from it.

Pastor Dean placed a hand on Nick’s chest and splayed his fingers out. They looked deeply into each other’s eyes and the motion resumed. The Pastor’s swollen cock stretched Nick’s hole. He slammed against him over and over. Nick whimpered at each hit.

Pastor Dean’s inner turmoil was still surging. He leaned forward and braced his hands on either side of Nick’s head. He increased his tempo. His pleasure was met with distain and regret. He felt a sense of resentment towards Nick, mixed with the longing for more of him.

Pastor Dean put a hand to Nick’s throat and spat down onto his face again. His thrusts took a more aggressive tone and Nick’s whimpers turned to moans. He was completely at the mercy of the Pastor’s pleasure.

The clapping of the Pastor’s waist against Nick’s ass echoed through the chapel. Pastor Dean grunted and growled through the build up to his release. Finally, he rammed himself into Nick and held himself there. He exhaled sharply and looked Nick in the eyes as he tightened his hold on his throat. He shot ropes of warm cum into his ass. Nick quivered at the pulsing feeling in his hole and the warm load oozing into his insides.

Pastor Dean had a moment of clarity and glanced around the room. Coming to his senses, he let go of Nick and looked down at his body squished against Nick’s ass.

He gradually moved his hips back and retreated from Nick’s hole. His cock fell out and dangled between his meaty thighs, glistening with spit and sweat. Nick’s hole spat out a drop of cum, which dripped down onto the church floor.

Through only the sounds of heavy breathing, they made eye contact again. Nick stared with amazement and admiration, while the Pastor looked back at him with a defeated look.

“Go. Leave”

Nick’s face soured to a confused look.

“I said get out! This never happened”

Nick stumbled to his feet and grabbed his clothes. He quickly slid his pants on and walked towards the door while sticking his arms through his shirt. Before leaving he turned back to see Pastor Dean still on his knees, looking up at the windows. Despite the events that had just occurred, Nick resented this place and the trauma that came with it.

“You need to repent, Pastor”

He said with a sinister tone before pushing through the door.

Nick returned home and his mother greeted him as he walked in.

“Hey sweetie, how’d it go?”

“Great! I was happy to reconnect with Pastor Dean, I think we really found an understanding with each other… Church is much more fun than I remembered”

“Sweetie, that just warms my heart to hear you say. I love you so much”

Nick smiled at his mom and went up to his room. He locked the door behind him, stripped his clothes off, and laid on his bed. He reached down, one hand stroking his cock and the other playing with his hole. He stuck a finger inside and played with Pastor Dean’s load while he fantasized about him. He pictured the man’s brawny chest and shoulders. His strong jaw and burly arms. And his thick, long cock dangling, waiting for Nick’s mouth to claim it. He pulled his finger out of his hole and sucked it clean. He tasted Pastor Dean’s sweet cum on his tongue.

It was enough to get him to his climax. He uploaded onto his stomach, shooting some drops to his upper chest. His hips jolted forward involuntarily. His head collapsed back onto his pillow. He laid there coated in his own cum and enjoyed the end of his high.

Nick knew the problems with his family were far from over. But he hoped against all odds that he would get the Pastor alone again someday. To relive the experience and be the object of his moral dilemma… much to his own benefit.