Regrets of yesterday

So ill start this off with a little background. 

I was in 2 committed relationships in the past 5 years. The first one actually was the best because he encouraged me to be a better person, in essence provided the career of which I still do today. Our relationship was far from perfect... honestly we were both in it for the fame that came with it. Him being tall, slender, body like those French models with Arabic roots and me being average height, built and a powerful blend of latino and black. 

To the eyes of the public we were the coolest friends, eyes of the gay society we were the IT couple. He was an amazing partner. The sex, the chemistry and our emotions were all in sync. There was one problem though. My dick doesn't belong to one person. Atleast thats how I saw it. I won't call myself a sex addict, but ill admit that I prefer to have sex with more than just one person. Not frequently, just find it really hard to commit. (Don't worry I test bi yearly, full blood screens)

So me and the first guy had a good three year run. Regular ups and downs like any relationship but things changed when he gave me my career.  I met someone. Someone who was by far the furthest thing from my type. He was short, feminine and not as attractive.  I mean I'm not exactly in the closet but I'm the type that prefers not to "wear" my sexuality ( I do not have a problem with those who do).

This new guy..... he brought something different to the table.  He was quirky, Quick and he knew exactly how to feed my desires.... or was it that he made me feel desires that I never knew I had. He made me feel weak, jealous, angry and the funny thing we never even kissed or was in a relationship at any point.  In his eyes I saw a fire that burns in rage. There and then I knew that was what I wanted. I wanted to feel his anger.... I wanted to see his crazy.  I wanted all of him. Even the parts I didn't like. At this point youre probably thinking that my a passive, but its quite the contrary. I'm a top, 7" but girth is more than average. He claimed that he was str8 but the way he moved his ass he was the main lead for the power bottom parade. He stood at 5'3" i stand at 5'10". His physique and structure actually compensated my at sometimes insane desires. I like rough. The kinda sex that would make you cry. Slapping. Choking. Fisting. Gagging. The upper class stuff. And boy did he like to be choked. The way his eyes rolled back made my precum flow and he knew it. Imagine. I would caress his body. Grab his body everywhere possible.  But he never once allowed me to kiss him nor did we ever did anything implicitly sexual. I guess part of the reason why I was so drawn to him was because I had to work for him. Guys usually came easy but he was the only one that I had to ease and press with to get him to do my bidding. But even though it was just the surface stuff.... it was worth more than all the sex I've ever had combined. Almost as if it were a drug. But he hurt me... made me jealous.  Made me do things that I've never done for anyone and that's where everything went down hill and I started a new relationship to get him jealous. This was where the twist happened. When the instrument of jealously became more than just a tool but the love of my life so to speak. 

** TO BE CONTINUED***