Oil Man

Ch.05

Our Final Days

Matthew:

I awake first and immediately start remembering last night.  After we went to bed, Bradley made love to me.  It wasn’t just sex, it was slow love-making.  Yesterday, we had stopped to really think about the little time we have left together out here and the future beyond my return to Dallas.

Bradley is giving me the best sex I’ve ever had.  He seems to always make me orgasm regardless of whether it’s anal or oral sex.  Anal produces a stronger orgasm because of the stimulation of the prostate.  Oral creates that wonderful sensation of a ruined orgasm.  The sensation is there in the balls and up the hard shaft, but there is no external stimulation like hand strokes, so the cum just pops out of the cockhead without shooting but is stronger than a dribble. 

I wake Bradley with the usual morning blowjob and we begin our day, showering, getting dressed, breakfast in the cafeteria, working on video and script.  I want to have pre-production of the entire report finished in the notebook so that all that is left to do is production and post-production back in Dallas with recording narration and editing all the parts together.  Bradley will proofread the script here for accuracy and make necessary corrections.

Today and those days that follow are filled with fun, journalistic work and sex at least three times a day, sometimes more.  I continue purposely stretching the work out to cover the allotted time so that Bradley and I can spend as much time together as possible.  Neither of us knows what it will be like after I leave.  We might never see each other again.

But during our final days here, Bradley tries to cram a lifetime of sex into a few remaining days. If he can have his way, we will remain in bed until I leave.

The night before my departure we have sex three times before going to sleep and I don’t remember how many times Bradley wakes me for more sex, or he wakes me with hugging, caresses and body kisses.  I think he was crying a couple of times because I could hear him sobbing as quietly as he could.  I didn’t disturb him, I just allowed him to get it all out of his system.  One time when he thought I was asleep, he was kissing my neck ever so tenderly, and he pressed his lips against my ear and whispered, “Matthew, I love you.”

That started my own tears rolling but I buried my face in my pillow and stayed as quiet as possible while I cried. Things are now insanely complicated.  I didn’t say anything about those three words Bradley had whispered in my ear.  I wanted several times the last couple of days to say the same to him but I didn’t want to push him into something he didn’t want or was afraid of.  It wasn’t the right time.

The next morning when I awake, Bradley is gone.  Since I can’t go wandering around without him, I remain in the separate safe building. I take a shower and eat breakfast.  In the cafeteria I ask at a table of the crew if they have seen Bradley. They squirm, look at each other and say they think he is working out on the rig.  I tell them I am about to leave; I thank them for everything and wish them the best.  “Stay safe,” I say as I walk away.

Back in the room I pack my shit, as Bradley had called it after my arrival and lug it out to the chopper pad.  The pilot takes charge and stows my shit inside the bird.

I look around hoping I will see Bradley rushing over to say goodbye.  It is not happening.

The ninety-minute flight back to Dallas is uneventful.  My mind is racing, wondering why Bradley has not bothered saying goodbye. My understanding is that he is still assigned as my chaperone on day ten.  I am disappointed to say the least, maybe a little angry.  I sleep the rest of the way back to the Big D.

I stop at Channel 12, turn in the camera gear and go to the news director’s office to say hello and get the boss to authorize a driver to take me home.  A few people in the hallways smile and say, “Welcome back,” but I just nod and said, “Hi.”  I am in no mood for small talk.

In my apartment I feel so good to be home but now feel miserable about my life.  I check email and messages on my cell phone and my notebook but there is nothing.

I pour a glass of white wine and sip, remembering the ten most wonderful days of my life and all the great times I had.  I can still see Bradley with my mind’s eye.  On the night of day three between sex and sleep is when I realize I am falling in love with my gorgeous oil man. The fact that his whispered words in my ear when he thought I was asleep including those three magic words adds to the complication.  I suddenly am very restless.  I can’t sit here all alone tonight.

I shower, get dressed in faded jeans, t-shirt, boots and head out into a warm Dallas night.  I walk to my favorite straight bar and order a drink.  After a couple of sips, I realize that I can’t sit here alone either.  I push the drink away and ask Joey the bartender to call me an Uber.

Joey ends the phone call and leans over the bar toward me. “You OK Matt?  You don’t seem to be your usual self.  I get off in 30 minutes if you need some company, just to talk if that’s what you need.  If you need more, we can do that too.”

“Don’t tempt me, Joey.”  I take a last look at him before I leave.  Beautiful face, short, trimmed beard, blue eyes, brown hair, military cut, nicely trimmed chest hair, leather vest, faded jeans, combat boots, deep tan.  “See you, Joey,” I say as I walk away.

The Uber pulls up just as I walk to the curb.  I give the driver the name of the gay bar I want to go to. Maybe tonight I DO need the gay bar drama I usually avoid.  It can work as a needed distraction.

After a few minutes in the bar, I can’t stand it any longer.  I walk outside, pull my phone out of my jeans pocket and call the bar where Joey works.

“Joey, this is Matt Walker.  You still offering your company? Great.  I will take an Uber back to you.  My place is walking distance from where you are.  Wait for me.  I’ll be there.

Ten minutes later I walk into the neighborhood bar but don’t see Joey at first and then he walks out from the private area where he apparently changed clothes.  He sees me and walks over smiling.  “Drink?”

“Not for me,” I reply.

We start the short walk to my condo.  Joey appears to be impressed with the gun-toting security guards as well as the well-kept lobby.

We step out of the elevator on my floor and I point in the direction of my condo.

Inside, Joey immediately walks over to the big living room window to check out Dallas at night.  “Impressive view,” he says.

I offer a drink; Joey asks for beer.  I have more of the bottle of white wine that I opened earlier.

We sit on the couch and Joey asks what has me acting so strangely. I explain that I returned today from ten days on assignment at an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico.  I tell him that I met a guy there who gave me great sex and we became very attached but the guy is straight and I was the first gay man to give him a blowjob.

“Well, I can understand him becoming attached to you.  A straight guy getting his first blowjob from a gay man has to be a real awakening for him. But what made you become emotionally attached to him?”

“I have been having sex with guys for a lot of years but never as good as with Bradley.  Fantastic doesn’t come close to describing the sex.  Every time we have sex, oral or anal, he makes me come without me touching myself,” I explained. “He’s so kind and considerate.”

“Sounds wonderful,” Joey says.  “You’re bottom?” he asks.

“Yep, about 95 per cent”

“Well, I’m about 98 per cent Top.”

“Nice,” I respond.   

I’m not sure what I want to do with Joey.  Bradley and I apparently love each other but there is no commitment and I can’t sit around waiting to become a couple with Bradley because it may never happen.  So, we’ll see what happens with Joey.

We continue with small talk.  He surprises me when he says he publishes a series of gay stories and has an advice column he tries to keep focused on gay teens who need to talk and ask questions.

Later he looks at me and says “You look tired Matt.  Shall I leave and let you get to sleep or shall I stay and keep you company in bed.  You decide what you want in bed.  I will wait for your cue.”

“I’d like you to stay, Joey. Do you have an early day tomorrow?  I can set an alarm if you do.”

“I have the day off.  You can kick me out whenever you want to.”  Joey smiles so nicely.  Handsome guy.

“Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend,” I ask.

He says, “I’m into guys only and I’m between relationships. I like rough sex and aggressive bottoms are a huge turn on.  I was in love once but that was a few years ago.  You’re a celebrity, so I want you to know that I don’t talk about guys I sleep with.  I’m on PrEP.  Get tested each quarter and was last tested two weeks ago. I haven’t been with anyone for nearly a month.”

“A month?”

“Yeah, But I have an electric masturbator that’s a great substitute. I carry it in my backpack everywhere I go, just in case I need to get off while I’m at work or underway. But, you know, I’m tired of gay guys right now, company excluded.”  Guys can be so picky even if I’m not the ugliest guy in town. But still, there’s nothing like a hot blowjob.  My favorite. Even if it’s a quickie in the men’s room.”

“You ready to call it a night?” I ask.

“Yeah, but may I take a shower before I climb between your sheets?”

“Follow me,” I say as I walk down the hallway to the bathroom. “I’ll shower after you finish.”

“If you want to, we can shower together. I’m not bashful.”

“I don’t want to intrude, but I’m not bashful, either,” I tell Joey.

I get in the shower first to set the water temperature and Joey follows.

“He hands me a sponge and says, “Wash my back.”

After a very thorough washing, he turns around showing a full hardon.

“Wash what you want to touch and I’ll take care of the rest.”

I nod my understanding.

I start at his face, move to shoulders, arms, chest, legs and feet.  I stand, soap both hands and wash his cock without using the sponge.  He closes his eyes and enjoys the attention.  After all it has been a while since he has been touched by another human.

“Matt, stop.  I’ll come if you keep that up and I don’t want to do it yet.”

I stop washing his cock and rinse it with the hand shower.

We dry our bodies.  I dry Joey’s back and he walks out of the bathroom.  I take care of my own back.  He’s turning me on by displaying his Dom-like traits.  I’m sure he knows what he’s doing.  I want to feel guilty about my thoughts but Bradley and I are not a couple, yet.  We agreed to be friends with benefits and he didn’t even show up to say goodbye

I put on a pair of clean boxers from the hallway closet and join Joey in the bedroom.

Joey looks at me and says, “Lose the boxers. I like to sleep naked.”

I smile and step out of my underwear.  Fuck, his bossiness is making me so horny. 

For some reason it doesn’t occur to me that by following his simple orders like ‘wash my back’ or ‘lose the boxers’ I am telling him a lot about my sexuality.

I get under the sheet and look over at Joey. “Night,” he says. “Pleasant dreams.”

He remains on his back with the sheet over his slightly tenting crotch area.

“Good night, Joey”

I turn off the lights but the room is still well illuminated with the outside security lights shining through the window.

I am no longer sleepy but major horny.  Joey is showing no interest in me but I recall he said I would have to choose what happens in the bedroom. Also, a Dom tends to not give too much attention to the sub except when giving them orders. It’s working on me.

I turn on my side facing Joey.  I scoot closer.  I cannot help myself.  He is being a true Dom tonight.  He might as well make me beg verbally.  He probably senses that I am more sub than just bottom and knows I like this sort of action.  I slowly move my hand closer touching his hip.  I pause.  I slide my hand onto his lower belly and move down to touch his erection.  I wrap my fingers around it.  Stroke slowly.  He remains silent.

Suddenly, his deep voice penetrates the quiet.  “If you keep stroking me, it’s only fair that you blow me to get me off.  So, decide now. You can take out your oilman frustrations on my dick or we can stop now.  No hard feelings   I know you’re hungry for it after your time on the oil rig, but I understand your feeling of loyalty to the guy who shares feelings of love with you.

I whisper, “I know he will eventually get in contact with me and I want to be able to tell him I have waited for him.  Thanks for understanding Joey.” 

“You’re not like most of the guys I run into. I respect you for your loyalty.  He’s a lucky man and I hope he gets off the fence soon and comes to find you. And for the record, I wouldn’t have let you give me head. When he shows up to claim you, you don’t need to deal with guilt feelings you would have had if I had let you do me. You made the right decision Matthew.  You are stressed out right now, confused, angry, hurt.  Get some sleep and see what tomorrow brings.”

I look at Joey and think how close I just came to doing some I would have regretted.

“Joey, I’m really pretty devastated by my oil man problems. I haven’t been like this in recent memory. Before today, I could say that I work a lot at something I really enjoy, get laid a lot less than most gay men. Make a ton of money that I don’t spend. Now I am so helpless and restless it scares me.  That’s why I didn’t want to be alone tonight. The days I spent on the oil rig changed everything for me.  I didn’t want to leave.  Getting back to the work is no longer my number one priority. For nine days, Bradley took the place of my love for work and other worthless things and gave me something much bigger, more important. He made me want to be with him for life. I can’t imagine a life without him but I may be forced to.  How can I go on now, without Bradley at my side? I’ve been in love only one other time in my life and it was not nearly as powerful as this love I am now dealing with.”

“Matthew, tomorrow is another day.  Right now, the effects of leaving the guy without a goodbye is still lingering. Parting words could serve like temporary closure but you didn’t get that. See what a good night’s sleep will do to help; get a disconnect from the oil rig and start putting your life back in order.  My advice for what it’s worth.”

“Thanks Joey.  Let’s get some sleep.”

“Good night, Matthew.”

Bradley:

I wonder what Matt’s doing right now.  I can’t sleep much since he left and tonight seems like much of the same. I’m a wreck of a man.  I know I’ll never get him out of my mind and I don’t want to. I want him by my side forever but I can’t seem to change my life to make it happen. I want to have my cake and eat it too, but deep down I know that is not possible.

What will I say to Matt if I show up at his door?  Could I say those three words out loud.  “I love you” is difficult for me to say for anyone to hear.  I’ve only said it to Matt once when I assumed he was asleep. I do love him like I’ve never loved anyone before.  What the fuck is wrong with me that keeps me from accepting this reality. I lie here staring at the ceiling as I remember the great times Matt and I had, not just the sex, but times shooting his oil rig documentary and being together.  My body and heart hurt because I miss him so much. Why can’t I forget about colleagues, friends and family and just go and claim Matthew for mine? They shouldn’t be part of this but I’m making it so.  Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I’m not really a stupid asshole but that’s exactly what I’m acting like.

Matthew:

I wonder if Bradley is doing, OK?  Is he still thinking of me or did he never have any attention of our relationship lasting beyond my trip back to Dallas.  I can’t believe that.  Maybe I should send him a message inviting him to stay with me when he next comes to Dallas. I’ll make the message very neutral.

I think about it, grab my cell phone, go to the living room and type a message:

          ‘Hi Bradley – I missed seeing you to say  

Goodbye. I want to invite you to stay with me the next time

you come to Dallas.  I would love to see you.  I hope you are

doing well.  As for me, I am all messed up for having to leave

you and return to the real world.  I hope what we had during

our time together was real.  I know it remains real for me. But

I don’t want to dredge back up what you must be trying to forget

In your straight world.  Let me hear from you, Babe.’

                                               Love You

                                               Matthew

I stare at the message and then hit the SEND button.

Bradley:

The ding of my cell phone makes my body jump. I grab the phone and see that the sender is Matthew.  I wonder if something has happened. I read the message but half-way through I start crying.  I finish reading through eyes blurred with flowing tears.  I drop the phone on my bunk and cry myself to sleep.

I wake after 8:00 AM, late for me on a normal day, but my situation now is anything but normal.  I read Matt’s message again, drop the phone on my bed.  I have to find a way to move on and bring my life back in order, with Matthew by my side.  It will be a slow process, though.  I won’t happen today or tomorrow.

I stumble through life day-by-day.  I haven’t replied to Matt’s message a week later.  I’ve been grounded because of a fuckup that happened while I was part of the active crew.  I wasn’t paying attention to the work because my mind was on Matthew. It is viewed as serious neglect since I should have resolved my concentration problem or distraction beforehand, or reported myself unfit for duty to protect other crew members from a potential serious accident.  The two bosses tell me I should take some time off to get my act together and if I can’t fix things, I will be released from my contract and returned to Dallas without a job.

Dr. Cochran writes me up for three days absence which I can extend for up to one week.

I grab my cell phone and hit the speed dial button for calling Matt.

Matthew:

Hello.

“Matthew, it’s me,” Bradley says.

“Bradley, it’s so good to hear your voice.”

“Matthew, I can’t eat, can’t sleep, have been relieved from duty because I fucked up; I can’t concentrate on my work.  And, I’m about to lose my job if I can’t pull myself together.”

“Bradley, I’m so sorry.”

“None of this is really your fault, Matt, I dragged you into my private world, I asked you for sex but I didn’t know what would happen between us.  I think I can fix things with your help. I want to come to Dallas to talk and tell you honestly how I feel.  I can be there Thursday night and plan on returning here on Sunday.  Friday, Saturday and Sunday will be the planned three days and I can ask for an extension up to one week.”

“Bradley, that’s a good plan.  Come and stay with me. You can meet me at channel 12 after you arrive on Thursday.  I will work on Friday and we will have the weekend to work things out.”

“I have an efficiency apartment in Dallas I use when I’m in town and I can hang out there on Friday.”

“Bradley, you can stay here Friday while I’m at work unless you need to be at the apartment.”

“Baby, I’ll let you get back to sleep.”

“Bradley, there’s something I need to tell you…..,” But I decide telling him that Joey is here serves no purpose.  I’ll tell Bradley when he’s here so there are no secrets between us. “It can wait until you’re here.”

“Matthew, there’s so much I need to tell you about how I feel.”

“We’ll talk in a few days.  Right now, you try to get some sleep and I’ll do the same.  I don’t sleep well these days either.  So, good night, Bradley.  I love you and I mean that.”

He was sobbing a little and while choking back tears said, “I love you too, Matthew.  I really do.  I really do. Thank you for being here for me.”

“I plan on always being here for, you. Good night my love.”

“Good night, Matt.”

To be continued