Off Campus

Eric’s Perspective

First Max, now Cam. Well, it was fun while it lasted but being single opened a million doors for me. I didn’t know what the hell I wanted, but this was my time to explore and I had every intention of doing just that. I had a girlfriend in high school, but it didn’t feel right. I was still trying to figure out my sexuality at the time, I liked sex with her and all, but it didn’t satisfy me. I had no clue why, and to be honest… in my tiny little, rural town of about 1,800 people there was zero diversity. I grew up around straight, white people who all went to the same church and believed the same things. I had no one to talk to about my feelings so I did a lot of online research, watched a lot of porn, and ultimately decided that I was pansexual. It wasn’t gender that attracted me, but the person, when I met someone, I was attracted to THEM and didn’t care if they were girl, boy, or even ‘other’ (I had learned about other identities on the internet). But in my tiny world there was just straight.

When I got to campus I was in heaven. There were hot boys, hot girls, hot trans women, hot trans men. There was a trans boy in one of my classes, he was cute as hell! I flirted with him and got shot down instantly. But the point was that in a whole new world, then I met Max. I was attracted to him the very first time Seth brought him back to our suite. We dated for a couple of months and I really liked him, but when I went home at Christmas hooked up with my Ex. It was just sex. When I got back to campus after the break I told Max about my hookup back home, and we had a rough go of it for a couple of weeks… then enter Cam. He was different from the other guys, a little thicker and hot as fuck. He was emotionally fragile when we met, but the first time I saw him I wanted him, Max had the same reaction so we decided to invite him to play with us. The three of us just clicked and our playing around turned into a very unexpected, hot three-some relationship. It worked for us at the time, but after a while Max decided he wanted something different.

When Max left us (Well, I don’t know if ‘left us’ is exactly accurate, he just moved to another bedroom down the hallway) my relationship with Cam became very intimate. It was one-on-one like it was when I was with Max our first semester. Nothing against Cam, but he was needy and I was starting to feel kind of walled in, without Max as a buffer Cam was a lot to take. I guess I panicked a bit and got a little distance, I started to see sex as an escape. It was like I wanted to pretty much fuck anybody and everybody. We had a New Year’s Eve party and Cam invited Travis, a friend of his from school. He and his boyfriend were hot as fuck! Cam and I ended up hooking up with them that night and a few more times after. Ever since I watched the two of them fuck Cam I’d been craving more. I was obsessed with sex, it’s all I thought about, My grades started to go down, I was doing a crappy job at work, I was preoccupied with sex, nothing else mattered. I tried to talk Cam into taking a few different guys home, but he wouldn’t bite. Then he decided we should take a break and moved into the spare room. I loved Cam and should’ve been upset, instead I was excited. Now the doors were blown wide open and I was free to do whatever, and whoever I wanted to; and I intended to.

Right after Cam dumped me, I called an Uber to take me to the Bathhouse. I mean, RIGHT after… within the hour. There was one just south of the Third Ward district, hidden in a little industrial area. I’d always wanted to go there, I tried to get Csam and Max to go with me a bunch of times but they always refused. The three of us played around in the steam room at The Resort in Arizona on Spring Break, but that’s the closest I ever got a visit to the bathhouse. So, the night Cam broke it off I was horny and decided to go by myself. I couldn’t exactly ask Cam to borrow the Fiat, so I walked to the corner to meet the Uber. I don’t know, maybe it’s a little fucked up that the very first thought I had when our relationship ended was “now I’m free to fuck around” but that’s what happened. I had put the address of the bathhouse into the App when I requested the Uber, so when I got into the car the driver knew exactly where I was headed. He repeated the address and we drove through the east side, then beyond downtown and through the Third Ward. About fifteen minutes later he pulled into the parking lot, winked at me, and told me to have a good time. I got out of the car, slammed the door, and watched him drive away before I turned to look at the old, industrial looking building. My heart was beating as I took a deep breath and headed towards the door. I checked in, put my phone, wallet, and keys in a lock box then headed down the maze-like hall to find my room. The halls were dark but my eyes adjusted quickly, I passed several guys as I made my way to my room and each one I passed bumped into me or groped me. It was a Thursday night and the pickings were slim. I was young, tall, lean, and the center of attention. Most of the guys were fatter, or older than I was into. Nothing against anybody, but I had a type, I liked young nerdy guys, or masculine jocks. I could also get into an older muscle daddy if he had the right build.

I made it to my room and shut the door behind me. I stripped naked, wrapping my tall, skinny body in the tiny towel that the desk clerk had given me at check-in. I took a deep breath as I turned the doorknob and walked through the dark maze again getting groped as I did. I found a small room where guys were watching porn and lounging in (or out) of their skimpy towels. Again, nothing much to see, so I went on to the steam room. There were four other guys in there. Two of them were older grandpa types, they had their towels open and were playing with each other in the hot, wet room. It was weird, but I watched anyway. The other two were actually pretty damn hot! One was a daddy type, maybe 35 or 40 with a muscular build and a coat of perfectly trimmed hair covering his body. He had his towel wrapped around him as he sat on the wet, white-tiled bench. His legs were spread a little and his knee was touching the guy next to him. The knee touching his belonged to a cute guy in his mid-twenties, maybe younger. He was smooth and lean with dark, wet hair that looked cute as hell with a couple of rogue strands hanging over his piercing blue sapphire eyes. They were amazing and just burned through the wall of steam. He was also wrapped in his towel with his legs spread a little and seemed to be enjoying his knee-to-knee contact with the daddy. The two were looking… no, leering at me. They had my full attention.

Eventually the two older men finished each other off with a grunt and left the steam room. It was hot as hell in there! Daddy and the cute boy got up and left shortly after they did, moving just to the other side of the glass door to the hot tub area. I sat in the steam room alone and watched them as they both dropped their towels and stepped down into the hot tub. Daddy pulled himself up and sat on the edge facing me. The boy moved between his legs and looked back at me as he reached for daddy’s huge, hard cock. My eyes were riveted to them as the boy turned around and went down on the hot, muscular man. I looked up and saw daddy staring at me as he leaned back on one hand and pushed the boys head down on him with his other. His eyes were on ME! He grinned at me as he enjoyed the boy’s hot mouth on his big cock, then took his hand off the kid’s head for a moment and motioned me over. I looked around to make sure he meant me… yup. I was the only one there.

I thought about the nonverbal offer for a few short moments before I got up, adjusted my towel so that my boner was concealed, and headed out of the steam room towards the couple. I stood next to the daddy, he yanked off my towel leaving it on the tiled floor. He looked up at me, our eyes locked and without a word he took my long, slender cock in his hand. His grip was firm and his eyes were burning through me as he took me in his mouth and down his warm throat. FUCK! It was amazing. I looked from him to the boy blowing him, his eyes were on me too. There I was in the middle of a bathhouse getting blown. The steam room was on one side and there was a sauna perpendicular to it. Both rooms had glass fronts and by now there were several people inside each hot little room watching the show. The boy blew the daddy and the daddy blew me, and I’ll tell you now, he knew how to suck cock. Slurping, sucking, and stroking as he covered my cock, and balls and licked down my taint gently lapping at my hole. With my cock buried down his talented throat, he lifted his hand off the kid’s head and smacked my ass with it. HARD! Then again. He lifted his head off me and growled, “turn around and grab your ankles, boy. I want to taste that pretty little hole.” As if hypnotized I did as I was told, looking back at the hot boy before I did. He was grinning at me with his mouth full of daddy cock.

I bent over and grabbed my ankles, pointing my skinny ass in the air. Within seconds I felt both his hands land hard on my cheeks with a smack. Then the daddy’s strong hands pull my cheeks apart exposing my hole to the warm, moist air of the spa area. “Damn” the daddy growled in a deep, predatory voice, “that is a sweet little pink hole.” Then I felt his hard, wet tongue stab into me, I gasped and whimpered as it did. It was fucking amazing and at that moment all that mattered was the feeling of ecstasy… Max, Cam, school, work, none of it mattered. Finally, an escape from all that shit. “Why don’t you boys come back to my place so we can fuck.” We both agreed, then went to get our stuff together and met back in the lobby about ten minutes later. We all got into Daddy’s BMW and headed back to his place. He had a beautiful condo in a high rise on the East Side that looked out over Lake Michigan.

We went up to his place on the tenth floor, he offered us a drink and as soon as he came back with them, we all stripped and picked up where we left off. He bent me over the couch so I was looking out the window as the daddy expertly ate my ass. The younger guy got on his knees and started rimming Daddy from behind. As I looked out over the lake it occurred to me that I didn’t know either one of these guys. I had no clue what their names were and frankly, I didn’t care. I felt a smack on my ass “Get ready to get fucked skinny boy” the daddy grunted as he grabbed my legs, flipped me onto my back and put my legs over his shoulders. Before I even knew what was happening, he drooled in my hole and onto his cock, then pushed himself in me. I was letting a stranger fuck me raw. I was on PrEP so I felt safe, but it was still really stupid to go home with two strangers, not that I gave a shit at that moment.

The daddy was big and girthy. He stretched my hole and I groaned in pain and pleasure; I wasn’t used to bottoming but he didn’t seem to care. He pushed all the way into me with one mighty thrust, then pulled out completely and stabbed his way back in with one fast, hard stroke. His heavy, hairy balls slapped against my ass with a bounce. “Fuck him daddy” the younger guy said, then slapped my ass. “Fuck him hard!” Then the quiet, seemingly submissive young guy stood on the couch with his ass in my face and started to fuck my mouth. He was bigger than expected and merciless as he put a hand on the back of my head and choked me on his fuck stick. Daddy ate out the boy’s ass and fucked me at the same time and the boy fucked my face. Both my holes were being used and abused by total strangers and my mind was lost in ecstasy, all my worries gone… I was high on lust. Then Daddy shot in my ass, and the boy in my mouth, when they were done the daddy pulled on his underwear, told us to get dressed and walked us to the door. That was it. He was done with us and set us free. The two of us rode down the elevator together in total silence. It was about three in the morning when we left the building, he went south and I went north, not a single word was said. I was about two miles from home and left to my own devices to get there. So, feeling used, abused, and somehow wanting more; I walked home alone in the cold Wisconsin night. The streets were eerily quiet.

When I finally made it home, I snuck in the back way, Max and Cam had the two rooms closer to the front door and I didn’t want to wake them. I got into my bed without incident, I laid there alone with my thoughts. ‘What the fuck happened to me’ I thought to myself. I used to be a good guy, I used to be a good student, I still truly loved and cared about Max and Cam, but as far as what I wanted from life... I had no clue. Then I started to worry about my stupidity of hooking up with two total, anonymous strangers. Yeah, I was on Prep, but still. My paranoia got the best of me and I decided that I would go to the campus health center and get tested on Monday between classes just to be safe. Meanwhile, I couldn’t fall asleep, I was having some kind of anxiety attack. My chest was tight and my brain was working overtime. I finally fell asleep about 6AM and woke up about 10AM. Shit! I was supposed to work at 8AM. I looked at my phone and saw a message from Andrew, my boss, I ignored it. Max left for work at the daycare center at about 8, and Cam left for classes about the same time. Neither of them tried to wake me, they probably assumed I was gone already. I fell back asleep and slept until early afternoon. When I got up, I showered, then made myself a sandwich. I tried to catch up on some homework but it seemed futile, I was so damn far behind in all my classes and we were barely a month into the semester. I decided to focus on one class at a time, on that day I decided to focus on logic. It was a difficult subject for me but I managed to read all the assigned work and lecture notes and I was beginning to understand it. Maybe the day wasn’t a total loss after all.

That night was movie night, we’d all be together for the first time since Cam moved into the other room. I had a feeling that it was going to be awkward as hell. The other guys all had stuff going on so I was on my own for dinner and made myself another sandwich, that was about the extent of my culinary skills. Cam and Max did all the cooking. By the time I ate, the other guys were home and we headed upstairs for movie night. Seth always went all out, soda, beer, every freaking snack you could think of. Zach built a fire in the fireplace and we all gathered in the living room, Zach and Seth were cuddling on one side of the couch, Max and Brody were on the other, I was in a chair and Cam was in another chair on the other side of the living room. There was a new friend of Seth’s sitting in the chair next to mine. He was just coming out and Seth invited him to hang with us, he was cute with a swimmers build and soft, curly brown locks. There was an innocence about him that attracted me and I couldn’t keep myself from flirting with him, I even put my hand on his knee at one point during the movie, the other guys noticed what I was doing and gave me dirty looks, especially Seth but I kept going, inching my hand up his leg.

I got up to get a soda out of the fridge and Seth followed me into the kitchen. I reached into the refrigerator to grab a soda, when I closed the door and turned around I was face-to-face with Seth. I mean, he was like and inch from me and he was not happy. “Leave Elliot alone” he whispered angrily.

“What’s the big deal, he’s cute.” I said smiling and shrugging as I popped open my can of Coke.

“The big deal is that the guy is barely out of the closet, confused as hell, and just looking for friends. You’re over there leering at him like a predator, you’re practically drooling on him.” Seth said in a hushed voice that was more like the growl of a momma bear protecting her cub.

I just chuckled at him “Yeah, so what.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Seth asked. My face dropped as I looked at him, Seth never spoke to my like that before. “You’re going off the deep end, dude.” Dude? Seth just called me dude. “Cam moved out of your room like when? Yesterday? The guy was struggling with your relationship and breaking up was a hard decision for him and what did you do? Go out and not come home last night. Lately you look at every guy like all they’re just holes for you to use.”

I was getting pissed, “Who the fuck are you? My mother?”

Seth was seething now, his face still close to mine and his voice still at a whispering growl. “No, I’m your friend, and Elliot’s friend. If you want to fuck your life up, that’s your business, but don’t bring Elliot into it.”

I was getting pissed too. “It’s none of your damn business, Seth” I replied still whispering, but my voice was getting louder… I could hear the others talking and laughing in the living room as they watched the movie, so I doubt they heard us yet.

Seth’s face was beet red, his anger was clear as he moved even closer to me, like barely an inch away, our eyes were locked when he growled “When you hurt my friends, it’s my business. And you are hurting yourself. You haven’t studied at all this semester, and Andrew from Starbucks called me today and asked if I could pick up some extra shifts next week because he’s planning on firing you.” My heart sunk, it wasn’t the best job but I liked it, and frankly, I needed it to pay my share of the rent. My parents were already struggling to help me with tuition, I was on my own for living expenses. “I tried talking him into giving you another chance, but who knows. He said you’ve been spending every shift flirting with guys and leaving everyone else to pick up your slack. You not showing up today was the last straw.” He paused, then growled “It’s bad enough Cam got caught in your wake, but I’m not letting it happen to Elliot. Keep your fucking hands off him.”

Seth was the least judgmental person I had ever met in my life and he always had my back. Now he was cornering me and calling me on my shit, and worse than that... he was protecting his friends from me. From ME! I was always the good one. What the fuck was wrong with me? I started to get a little scared. Maybe I WAS spiraling out of control. As Seth stared at me, our eyes just inches from each other, he spat out the words “you’re better than this, Eric. Get your shit together.” Then he turned and walked back into the living room leaving me alone to think for a minute.

When I went back into the living room, the only place left for me to sit was on the couch next to Zach. Seth had taken the chair next to Elliot and was scowling at me, daring me to challenge him. Innocent little Elliot looked up at me with those puppy dog eyes wondering what had happened. He was clueless about the fact that Seth just saved him by cock-blocking me. Shit ‘saved him from me’ I thought. ‘Since when do people need to be saved from me? What the hell is wrong with me?’ I thought to myself. But Seth was right, I totally would’ve dominated and used that kid, then ghosted him. I would have been his first and he would have been just another hole to me, hell if Seth wouldn’t have mentioned his name to me in the kitchen, I wouldn’t even have known what it was. By that point I had moved from being angry to humiliated. Nothing Seth said was incorrect, and on top of everything else it looked like I was about to be unemployed. And it was my own damn fault. Fuck.

The movie ended and the guys started to play video games. I snuck down the back steps and went into my room to think. I laid down on top of the covers, there was so much going through my head but the scariest thought was that I let two complete strangers cum in me. I started to research PrEP and felt a little bit better when I learned it was 99% effective, but I decided to get tested on Monday to be sure. I really fucked up this time. I turned on the TV in my room but couldn’t concentrate. I started thinking through what I was going say to Andrew the next day at work to convince him to give me a second chance. I had been a good… no, I had been a great employee up until recently. I was sitting there thinking about all the extra shifts I worked, and all the compliments I’d gotten from customers, the above and beyond cleaning, anything I could to build a case for myself, when someone knocked on the door. “Who is it?” I asked quietly.

“It’s me and Max” Cam said in a quiet voice. “Can we come in?” I invited them in, although I really wanted to be alone. They both came in and sat down on my bed, one on either side of me. “So…” Cam said, “What’s up with you?” They both had empathetic smiles on their faces. We may not have been in a relationship anymore, but we all loved and cared about each other. I just gave them a sad smile back and shook my head, I was so fucked up inside and was fighting back the tears. I wasn’t sure what to say. Luckily for me, I didn’t have to say anything.

“Andrew was pretty pissed off when I went into work after classes today” Cam said. I just nodded.

“Yeah” I said quietly. “I’m planning on getting fired tomorrow” then I took a deep breath. “I fucked up. I’m fucking everything up” My heart started pounding and my breathing was short and fast, I was doing my best not to cry in front of my two best friends.

They didn’t say a word. They just laid down on either side and each put and arm around me. They didn’t know exactly what I was going through, but they knew something was up and loved me enough to stay by my side. We fell asleep together. Three friends.

Saturday morning, I woke up a little before 7AM with Cam’s arm still draped over me, we were both fully clothed and the lights were still on. I looked over at him and smiled. I was extremely grateful for him… Max too, I also felt guilty as hell for the way I’d been treating them lately. I heard noise in the kitchen and could smell coffee and bacon. I shook Cam awake and we headed into the kitchen. Max was hard at work making breakfast for the three of us.

“Good morning” Max said in a happy voice. “Breakfast is almost ready.”

“Wow. This is awesome” I said. Cam and I both had to work at 8, I was NOT looking forward to it. The three of us sat at the kitchen table and at breakfast together.

“So, what’s your plan for talking to Andrew?” Cam asked as he munched on a strip of crispy bacon.

“Well…” I said with a sigh. “I’m going to apologize for not reaching out to him and beg for a second chance I guess” then I shot the guys a weak smile. I knew I fucked up and was really at Andrew’s mercy. He had every right to fire me. We finished breakfast, then I jumped in the shower and got ready for work, Cam was right behind me. We got into the Fiat and drove to work with the moonroof open and music blasting, Cam was trying to psych me up. We parked the car in a lot down the street and walked to Starbucks. I opened the door for Cam and said “here goes nothing” with a sigh.

Cam just smiled and said “good luck. You’ll be fine.”

Before I could say anything, Andrew asked me to come into his tiny office for a word. When the door shut, I apologized “Andrew, I am so sorry for yesterday and my behavior in general. I’m going through some personal stuff and I handled it badly.” I was still standing and Andrew was walking to the other side of his desk to have a seat. We both sat and he nodded at me.

“Eric, you’re a good guy and a good employee” he said to me with an expressionless face. “But I have a business to run.”

‘Oh shit, here it comes’ I thought. I started to shake and get a little choked up as I bit my bottom lip. Yeah, it was just a part time job, but I felt like a total failure.

“This can’t happen again” Andrew continued. “If you need time off, just let me know and we’ll do what we can, but you can’t just disappear like that.”

He didn’t fire me? Well, not yet at least. “I… I’m not fired?” I asked meekly and appreciatively.

“Not this time. Like I said, you’re a good employee… at least you had been until recently. Clean up your act, I want the old Eric behind that counter starting tomorrow.” Andrew said. “I asked Terrance to come in and cover your shift today because I never heard back from you and had no idea if you were coming in or not.”

Well, I guess that made sense. Hell, the guy didn’t fire me and I was grateful. “I’ll be in at 6AM ready to roll and give you one hundred percent” I said with a smile. “I’m so sorry, Andrew, thank you for giving me a second chance.”

He smiled, leaned over the big metal desk, looked me straight in the eye and said, “Keep the personal crap out of here. Okay?” I nodded. “I need to write you up for this, and next time you don’t show up and don’t call, you’re done. Got it?” He said with a serious tone. I smiled and nodded as he stood up and went to the office door, holding it open for me. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Eric.” I thanked him again, then went over to Cam to tell him what happened and get his car keys.

“I got a stay of execution” I told him.

He was relieved, smiled and pulled the keys out of his pocket. “Are you okay?”

“For now,” I replied quietly. “I gotta get my shit together.” Cam smiled, nodded, and gave me a simple ‘yup’ in response.

I went home, put on my sweats, pulled out my books and started to organize how to tackle weeks of piled up reading and homework. I briefly looked at my phone, tempted to go on Grindr or one of the other hook-up apps, but I fought the urge. I also checked out the hours of the health care center on Campus and figure out when I could stop in for an HIV test, and… set up an appointment to talk to a therapist. I needed some help with this.

For the rest of the day, I studied hard. On Sunday I went into work and was the best damn employee that place had ever seen, then went home and studied some more. On Monday I went to the health care center and got a rapid HIV test. That half hour wait was the longest period of my life. Negative! But the doctor told me to wait another four to six weeks and get tested again because the antibodies would likely not show up this soon. He also told me that since I was on PrEP and didn’t even know for sure I had been exposed to anything, I was likely fine. He was probably right, and hopefully I was freaking out for nothing, but I needed to know for sure, so I planned on coming back next month. I also set up a “mental health” appointment so I could talk things through with someone who could help get me back on track.

This was far from over, but I at least felt like I had a plan for moving forward. If nothing else, this whole experience was a wake-up call, and the biggest takeaway was that my friends were there for me.

To be continued…