My journey from submissive cock slut to power-top

This is my first time writing. This is how I became a submissive cock slut, before I later realised I was a power top, which was like releasing a beast. I wrote down my very first experiences at the time they happened.

So I was 19 years old, 6ft, slim and slightly athletic. I was at a cruising spot and an older man pushed his cock through the glory hole. I was there because I was desperate for my first sexual contact. I had been fantasising about becoming a cockslut, but now I wanted to get away. But the voice in my head was telling me this is your chance. So I sucked his cock, and sexually I felt nothing. He got me to unlock the door. He must have been 60 years old. He stared at me and said "Oh my god, you are beautiful." He pinned me to the wall and began kissing my lips. It's the first time I've been kissed. I was paralysed, but I kept my lips tight. I didn't want my first kiss to be like this. He then told me to masturbate myself. We stood there, both tugging at our meat, and both shot our loads to the floor. After he'd left, I was shaking and I kept washing my mouth out again and again. I didn't have another sexual encounter for three years.

My urges kept building up, and finally I gave in again. I had found a 50-year-old guy nearby online. I told him I was shy and inexperienced. He was waiting in his car. I could see the car waiting. I had told him what I'd be wearing. I went to walk away, but he must have seen me. He flashed his lights. I took a deep breath, went over and opened the passenger door. "Come in," he said. So I sat down and closed the door. "You're very handsome," he said. "I'm pretty shy," I said. "I know," he replied. "Let's go slowly." He placed a hand on my crotch. "You don't have to do anything," he said, "Just tell me if you want me to stop." I took a deep breath and nodded. He began rubbing my crotch. I was so nervous, I couldn't get hard. He unzipped me slowly, and pulled my cock out. He began stroking it. "Do you like that?" "Yes." "Relax. I'll keep a lookout. Just close your eyes." I closed my eyes. My heart pounding. I was just sitting there, motionless, breathing heavily. Then I felt two wet lips around my cock. My eyes snapped open. "I can't." He pulled back. "That's okay." I immediately left.

Some days later I found a 30 year old guy online. He was a cute, slightly chubby otter. We agreed what we would do with each other. No surprises. I got into his passenger seat and we both unzipped ourselves. My cock was young (I was 6.5" uncut) and still not as large as it would become in later years. His cock was the same length, but thicker, and his glans was 2 inches long. It made his dick look huge. He also brought two rubber rings. He had been telling me about his ball extenders online. He brought them. So we both wore one. We sat there stroking each other for a while. Then we put on condoms, and began sucking each other through the condoms. The rubber felt weird, but his cock was so warm. I breathed deeply whenever I sucked all the way down to his pubes. I loved the smell of his hair. His body shook when he came. Now it was my turn. He began sucking me. It felt good. I didn't last long. I came. A whole warmth enveloped my body, I felt like a firecracker exploding, and I had never felt this before.

I wanted a sexual encounter each day. I found myself a cruising spot and began chatting online. My first taker was a guy my age. We stood, masturbating ourselves, watching each other. The next day was a shorter, chubby man. He sucked my cock gently and kissed my balls. He wanted to kiss my lips, but I refused like I had with the other man. The next day a shorter man came and sucked me. He wanted to kiss me too but I refused, and then he said "I want you to fuck me." "I've never fucked anyone," I muttered. He said "I've got condoms. Just stand there and let me do it." So he rolled a condom on me and turned around. His arse was pretty loose, and he slid himself on instantly. I could never have imagined how warm an arse was. I just stood there and he began moving his hips, whimpering in ecstasy, jerking himself off at the same time. I came and he blew his load. The next day, there was a tall man waiting for me. He was wearing a leather jacket. He had is cock out already. It was cut, 8". Before we could do anything, then there were footsteps nearby. He zipped himself back up. We both left to avoid being caught. I never returned there.

Months later, I waited till everyone had left the house, and I let in this short dark man. He was here to help me loose my anal virginity. I didn't know anything about anal sex, I had not douched, I had not lubed. I sucked him until he was hard. I refused to be kissed. Then I knelt on the floor over a towel. He rolled on a condom and pushed himself in. I was crying and shaking but told him to keep going. My body was convulsing and I gripped the towel and bit into it. I was being fucked like a dog for what seemed like ages. Then I felt him withdraw. He removed the condom, and then splattered hot jizz across my back.

Even after a week I was not ready to try anal again, and I didn't want to invite anyone in. So I stood around the side, where no neighbour could see me, stroking myself. I heard footsteps approaching. As planned, this middle-aged man came around the corner. He knelt in front of my dick. I kept standing there, masturbating. "I'm coming," I muttered. The man knelt with his mouth open, and I filled it up with my cum. He swallowed and said "Thanks" and walked away.

I almost never had the house to myself, and soon I learnt about gay saunas. I didn't know anything about them. The first time I went, the door manager explained I had to undress and put a towel on. "Undress in front of everyone?" I asked. He stared at me and quietly said, "You're probably not ready for this." And he was right.

After I put the towel on, I began walking around. There was a dimly lit maze with cubicles, each with a black leather mattress. Music was pounding through speakers, and a fan was blowing cool air down from the high ceiling. There were showers where men were obviously showering off cum. There was a sling in a cubicle. There were glory holes, and there was a cock poking through one of them. I stroked it for a moment, and then a ripped guy passed me and I followed him, downstairs, and found the spa and showers. The ripped man had vanished. A sign instructed to shower before using the spa. So I dropped my towel, naked in front of everyone there, and began showering. A guy emerged from the spa with an erect cock. He didn't bother putting his towel on. He pulled open a door which billowed steam, and disappeared inside. There were still other men in the spa, so I went in the spa first. Two men seemed to be stroking each other with their feet under the water. I jerked myself, watching them, and then I stepped out with my hard-on, and went to the door to the steam room. I didn't bother putting my towel on. The steam was so thick, and no lights were on. I could just make out the shape of men sitting around the steam room. I could faintly tell they were all naked. I sat down, unsure what to do. A guy walked past me and paused, and began stroking my dick. I enjoyed it. He then knelt and went to suck me. I quickly put a hand in front of my dick. I stood up to leave. He stood up too, blocking my path. I felt another man standing behind me, gently patting my arse. I forced myself past them and upstairs, dressed and left. When I emerged from the building and into the burning sunlight, I couldn't believe the world I had found. I was dizzying from the experience.

The next day I returned, and I spent my time walking around the maze. A tall man with pecs walked past me and I copied what I'd seen other men do. I followed behind him. He stopped and stared at me. I plucked up the courage and grabbed his hand, and we stepped into the nearby booth and closed the door. Now I was not worried about anyone coming home, and now I was in a place I could relax. I surrendered to his movements. We began sucking each others nipples, and each others cocks. He tried to kiss me, but I turned my face away. I lay on the leather mattress and spread my legs. He rolled on a condom and fucked me. After he came, he wanted me to do cum too. But I knew I would loose my horniness after cumming, so I lied and said I was spent. When we'd finished and showered, I walked around in the darkness and past the gloryhole booths. A hand came through one of them. I walked towards it and stood against the wall, this unknown man greasing my cock with his hands. Then the feeling changed, and a whole warmth enveloped my cock. Then I felt two hairy sweaty buttocks press against my pelvis. I was being rided, raw. I freaked and pulled myself out. I showered and kept washing my dick.

I kept returning to the sauna every week. Everytime I avoided cumming. Everytime I avoided being kissed. Every time, though, I kept letting myself be used further. There never seemed to be any guys in the gloryholes, which disappointed me, because I just wanted to sit and suck dick. I had tasted my own cum, but I'd still not yet swallowed any guy's load. I was spit-roasted several times. Another time, there was a short, bearded, hairy, muscular but chubby man in the maze. I was the complete opposite. Tall, smooth, beardless, and slender. We stood in the darkness facing each other. By now I had gotten more confident and knew the look when a man wanted to fuck me. "Fuck me here," I said. I dropped my towel and turned around, and bent over. I never saw his dick, I only felt it enter me, and his hairy gut slapping away at my back, and his hairy arms gripping my shoulders. Other men slowly gathered in the maze, watching me be fucked.

I was never drunk, I was never stoned, and in every encounter I was wide awake. I was always learning what pleased men and drove them wild. I wanted to be the perfect little slut. But something was wrong. I would sometimes silently cry on the train home. But there was a voice in my head saying that I was a dirty little cocksucker, and I had to just get over myself. This was what I had wanted, I kept telling myself.

I found a different sauna nearby (there were quite a few in the city), and there were a lot of young asian men here. They were ripped and tanned, and I was pale under the blue lights. A muscular jock wanted to fuck me, and he kept following me around for half an hour. I conceded, and we entered a booth. The walls were mirrored, there was a mattress on the floor, and dim red lighting. I sucked him off for a few minutes, but he had already told his 'friend' he was going to win me. He unlocked the door. His buddy had been waiting outside. His friend entered, and they made me worship both their cocks. One of them face-fucked me while the other held my hair, forcing my head wherever he wanted. I was spit-roasted and told how good a sucker I was. They left and I went and showered.

I went again next week, and a cute fit asian guy, a few years older than me, saw me walking around. I kept resisting other men tugging at my hand, but eventually this guy caught up with me. He had the cutest smile. He tugged my hand, and instead of pulling me, he simply guided it to his groin. I felt 8 inches under his towel. He grinned and inclined his head towards a booth. This booth happened to be one with a wire wall and leather hand and ankle cuffs. Like the other rooms, the floor was mattressed. We stood there, sucking each others nipples and dicks and caressing, until we eventually melted to the floor. Then he went to kiss me. My lips clamped and my teeth shut. "I don't like kissing," I said. He recoiled. "What the fuck do you mean?" "I'd just rather not." He stared at my terrified face.

After a moment, he drew himself close on top of me and said "I am not going to hurt you." He caressed my face. "You are damn handsome. I want to kiss you." I said "I'm sorry, I'm really shy about kissing." He looked at me and said "Whoa, you have some barriers to break down." Then after what seemed like an eternity of us staring into each others eyes, he reached down and began caressing my cock. His other hand cradled my head, and he began laying sweet kisses on my cheeks. After a minute, he let go of my cock, and began sucking his fingers. He then teased my mouth with his fingers. I took the hint, and began sucking his fingers. One finger, two fingers, my mouth was open, and then he leant in and our lips met. My head must have jerked and he paused - "Don't close your mouth, silly." So I didn't, and then I felt his tongue touch my tongue Our eyes were closed and all I could feel was this sweaty body against mine, but our tongues teasing each other's. It was better than anything I'd felt before. I felt like my head was spinning. He pulled back from me "Kissing is fun," he said, and then he looked at the wire wall with the hand and ankle cuffs. He got such a cheeky grin. "Do you trust me?" he said. "No." I answered. He looked stung. Then he said "You have to let me prove you can trust me." He guided me to stand up against the wall. I stood against it, and he French-kissed me again, tying my wrists up above my head. Then he kissed his way down to my cock, and then he tied my ankles to the wall. Then I felt panic come over me. I could be left here. He could open the door to the other men. He kissed me tightly and then I realised there was another cuff I had not seen, and it had gone around my neck. I just stared at him, terrified, but he gave me another cheeky grin and stepped back, taking in the full view of the young man he'd just tied up. "Pretty good," he said.

Waves of panic kept coming over me. He then came in, and began eating out my armpit, One hand gripped mine above my head, fingers entwining, the other hand teasing my nipple. My body kept shaking, wanting to break free. "Trust me," he said. Then he moved from my armpit to sucking my nipple; his other hand teased my other nipple, and his other hand worked my cock. Then he knelt and began to give me amazing head. He kept edging me for 5 minutes. And in that time I realised that his mind was focused on me, and detecting when I was getting close. My body's control was in the hands of someone else, and they were focused solely on it. I had succumbed to this power, and my fear went, and that's when he stood up and began untying me.

And, instead of him kissing me, I was moving myself forwards to kiss him. I was willing the kisses. He guided me onto the floor, onto my back. He rolled a condom over his dick and threw my feet up above my head. He lubed my hole, and placed the tip of his cock there. Then he leant in and began kissing and caressing me. I kept my arms wrapped around his torso. Then he turned my head and started using his tongue on my ear. I was in sudden ecstasy, and while he did this, he gently pushed his cock in. Once he was fully in, he leant back and began stroking my cock. Then he pushed my feet back again over my head, and began thrusting, all the time kissing me and cradling my head. I don't know how long we fucked, but there was so much sweat, our bodies became very noisy. Then he looked at me and said "Where do you want me to cum?" "In me," I said. And so he began thrusting like a jackhammer, and then he put his mouth to my ear and started breathing heavily. This was a new magic I'd never experienced. This deep panting and grunting, blocking out every other sound. Then I felt his body judder, and I'll never forgot what I felt. I felt the condom filling up inside me. Once, twice. Three times. Four times. Each time his body juddered. And I could feel all this jizz buried inside me. He withdrew, discarded his condom, and said, "So are you going to cum?" "I'm already spent," I automatically lied. "Bullshit," he said, and he began stroking my cock. After a while I muttered "I'm close." He sped up his motions. I tried, I really tried, but nothing happened. I couldn't cum. I was embarrassed, but all he did was shrug and said "Don't worry about it." He lay down beside me, kissed me again. "As long as you've enjoyed this. I have." He grinned. "Thank you," I said. "I've never felt like that before." He grinned again. "Well that's because you've never met me before." 

(More to come.)

This is my first time writing about my experiences. Say hello if you like it. ;-)

ps Everyone in this post is over 18 years old, just to be clear.