I had only been in the performing arts college for two months and yet I had managed to settle in very quickly. In the college I was studying music and my twin sister was studying dance. It was through her that I met Maxxie.

Maxxie was the hottest guy I had ever met. People always say that the guys they fancy are THE hottest, but Maxxie really was like a God. He had thick blondish brown hair that always looked perfect even when he had done nothing to it. His body was like a statue, covered in muscles and only a tiny amount of fat to make him look like an Olympic swimmer. Maxxie was wanted by everyone, girls, boys and teachers. Maxxie was wanted by me, and to my surprise I was wanted by Maxxie.

After being in the school for about a month Maxxie came up to me at lunch and asked me to come and sit with him and his mates. To be honest I felt really self-conscious, all of Maxxie's friends were good looking and fit. I was just ok looking and weedy. All through lunch the topics were centred on friends, sex, drugs and sport and I felt really left out as I had no idea what they were talking about half the time. I think Maxxie must have realised this because he soon changed the subject to a topic I knew everything about. 'So um...Harry, you study music don't you? Mark studies it too' He pointed to the guy sitting across the table from him and Mark looked at me for the first time that lunch. 'So what instruments do you play?'

All of a sudden all heads on the table were turned to me and my mouth felt completely dry. I don't know how long they were waiting for me to answer but Maxxie soon gave me a little nudge under the table which woke me up from my stupor. 'Um...I play loads.'



'So you play the saxophone? The trumpet?'

'A bit...well I mean I'm ok...'

Everyone on the table gave each other a knowing smile and smirked at each other across the table. 'you know what they say' another guy said 'If your good at blowing instruments, you're good at blowing...'Maxxie kicked the guy under the table and the guy put his hands up mouthing 'what?'

For the rest of lunch I sat quietly while Maxxie tried to include me in the conversation as much as he could. After lunch Maxxie said he'd walk me to next lesson and as we walked together he pulled me by my arm into the corner and pushed me up against the wall. 'What are you...?' Maxxie put his lips to mine, pressing his tongue into my closed mouth. After a couple of seconds he pulled away and sighed. 'I'm sorry. I must have got the wrong idea. I thought that maybe you like me'

'No you didn't, I do like you, it's just...well...I've never really done this before. And I didn't think you like me either.'

'Well of course I like, why do you think I invited you to sit with me? What do you mean you've never done this before?'

'Well...I'm kind of...you know...'

'What? Straight?'

'No! I'm definitely gay. I've just never done THIS before. I'm a...virgin.'

Maxxie eyes opened in mock horror, he took my face in his hands and pulled me close to him. 'I don't care if you're a virgin. I like you a lot Harry. And I would really like to see more of you.' Maxxie let go of my face and walked a few metres away, then he turned and looked at me. 'Are you coming?'

A week later I found myself in his flat that he shared with his mates. At first I found it scary, being around his mates that obviously didn't like me butting in on their life. After a while though I think they must have realised that I was harmless and they started to relax a bit more around me. Every day I would go round their apartment for a few hours after college and every day Maxxie's friends would become more accepting of me being there. In music class I paired up with Mark and when we got to know each other properly we became quite good friends so it was nice going round and having someone that liked me.

One night when everyone was at a concert the school was putting on; Maxxie and I were on the sofa kissing. Suddenly he pulled away and turned to me. 'Harry, how far will you go for me?'

The question took me by surprise and I froze thinking about what I would say. 'I...haven't really thought about it. I mean I like you it's just...'

'You don't know if we're serious enough yet'

'No, it's not that! It's just that I've never done something like this before and...I'm scared.'

Maxxie looked at me hard and I could feel his eyes burning a hole into mine. I thought he was going to try and reassure me, or pressure me into doing something but he just leaned in and kissed me lightly on the lips. He got up and walked across the room to the door to his bedroom. He turned round and held out his arm, beckoning me. I nervously got up and made uneasy steps towards his outstretched arm. He went inside leaving the door open and sat down on his bed. I lingered in the doorway for a second not sure of what to do, then sat down on the bed with a gap between us.

Maxxie took off his shirt and lay back on his elbows on the bed. I followed suit and began to take off my shirt; my hands trembling as I undid the buttons. I was so nervous I couldn't control my hands and stop them from shaking so Maxxie sat up and helped me undo my buttons. He kissed me on the lips and lay back down. As I lay back with him he slid his arm underneath me and pulled me close to him. I lay my head on his chest and relished his soft warm skin as I snuggled my face into his six pack.

I looked up at his face and saw that he was smiling down at me 'What?' I asked suddenly feeling stupid. 'Has anyone ever told you how adorable you are?'

I blushed and lowered my head feeling slightly ashamed. For about half an hour Maxxie and I just lay there on the bed, him cuddling me while I rested half on top of him. After a while we were both breathing in time, feeling so in sync with each other. Then he turned to me and said 'About what I said before. You never really answered my question. How far would you go for me?'

I sat up suddenly feeling self conscious and a little scared. 'I don't...'

Maxxie sat up and pressed his lips against mine. He slipped his hand down my trousers and cupped the bugle in my boxers. He looked into my eyes and without saying a word put his free hand on my chest and pushed me back onto the bed. He pulled his hand back out and used it to take off my trousers (I had already taken off my shoes) so that I was completely naked but for my underwear. Maxxie moved his head down, still not breaking our gaze, and then when he reached my boxers he bit into the top and pulled them down exposing my erected cock, which greeted him by hitting him in the face. He held my cock in his hand and looked at me once more telling me what he was about to do in one look.

His mouth descended onto my cock, his tongue brushing my head first then sliding down the shaft, causing me to cry out in pleasure. I had wanked off before but this was completely different. It felt like my cock was in hot cream and I didn't want to take it out. Maxxie continued sucking me off for a few minutes then looked up at me again and kissed me on the lips. When he had kissed me I could taste myself but I wasn't disgusted, in fact quite the opposite. I loved it.

After a few more minutes I felt that my balls were completely full and about to explode. I tapped Maxxie's head trying to get him away from my cock as I couldn't speak from the sheer pleasure of the blowjob. 'Maxxie...Maxxie' I panted, gasping for breath, my heart pounding so hard I thought it would burst from my rib cage. 'Maxxie I'm going to cum!'

I fully expected Maxxie to pull away but instead of that he kept going, even faster than before. I warned him again to make sure that he'd heard but he just replied with 'mmmm' 'Maxxie' I shouted, growing more distressed from his refusal to move 'I'm going to...I don't want... not in your mouth...' It was too late. I couldn't stop myself as my cock squirted out all the cum that had been building up. I whimpered as my orgasm finished and I realised what I had done. Maxxie swallowed and let my cock fall out of his mouth then sat up next to me on the bed. He stroked my cheek his face full of concern as he saw me whimpering on the bed. 'Harry? Are you ok?'

'I'm sorry...I didn't mean to.'

Maxxie smiled to himself and kissed me on the cheek. 'Harry there's nothing sorry to be about, I knew that you were ready and I wanted you to cum in my mouth.'He laughed at the look of confusion on my face and scooped me up in his arms. A few minutes later I had fallen asleep.

The next day I woke up in Maxxie's bed all tucked up in his cover. As I sat up I remembered the pleasure that I had experienced the previous night and smiled to myself, remembering. All of a sudden there was a knock on the door and Mark walked in carrying a tray of breakfast. 'Maxxie told me to bring you this at 9.00 am. He thought you'd prefer this to eating with us.'

'Thank you. Where is Maxxie?'

'Oh right yeah. Maxxie's gone out to the shops for some reason, said he was going food shopping or something. Don't know why though we've already got a load of food.' I could sense that Mark was just making small talk so that he could stay in the room longer and so I just smiled at him and said 'thanks for the food. Have you eaten yet?'

'No. Why?'

'Well, I usually share breakfast with my sister because we don't really eat much. My big brother says that we should eat more because we're too skinny, but I just get too full up...'I realised that I was rambling on and so did Mark as he had already fixed his attention on something else. 'Listen, do you want to share this with me? I can't manage this on my own.'

Mark agreed and sat down on the bed next to me. For a while we ate in silence until it became too awkward and Mark looked at me at and said 'Can I ask you a personal question?'

'Erm. Ok.'

'I don't want to interfere or anything.'


'You and Maxxie...have you two had sex yet?'

I was so shocked by the question I almost chocked on a piece of stringy bacon. 'Well, no. I mean. I think....I think....this is a bit weird talking to you about it, sorry!'

'Oh it's ok. I shouldn't have asked I'm sorry.'

After that we both fell silent and continued eating silently not looking at each other. Finally I couldn't stand the silence any longer, 'I think he wants to but I don't know if I can.'

Mark laughed. 'Well of course he wants to! Maxxie has had sex so many times I swear he's done it more than the whole school put together.' Mark looked at me and saw that he hadn't helped at all. 'I am sorry. That really wasn't what you wanted to hear was it?'

'Not really.'

'Listen. Think about it like this, Maxxie is one of the fittest guys in school and he could have anyone he wanted.'

'That doesn't really help either!'

'Well what I'm trying to say is that he COULD have anyone he wanted, but instead of that he's got you. No offense.'

'I'll pretend not to take any!'

'What I'm trying to say is that he's with you because he likes you, no because he thinks you're fit or good at sex. He's with you for being you, so if you don't think that you CAN have sex with him then he won't mind because he likes YOU and not your dick.'

'I guess.' I knew that what Mark was saying was right but I still didn't think that Maxxie would stay with me long if I couldn't satisfy him sexually. 'It's just that I've never done it before and I don't know if I can.'

'You can. Listen, I'm going to tell you something and if you tell anyone I'll kill you!'

'Ok' I agreed nervously.

'My first time was Maxxie. I was shit scared and I had no idea what I was doing. But the point is that Maxxie didn't care, he just took it slow and talked me through it. I know that he will do the same thing for you. In fact it'll be better for you.'


'Because he likes you, I mean really likes you. He was talking to Will about it this morning.'


'Yes really and...'

All of a sudden the door opened and Maxxie stepped in flashing a smile at me then turning to Mark. 'Can you give us a minute?'

'Yeah sure.' Mark turned to me, winked and left the room.

'Listen, Harry, about last night. I know that I surprised you a bit by what I did and I'm sorry, so I got you this...'

Maxxie pulled out a cage from the inside of his large bag and placed it on the end of my bed. 'A little birdie told me that you love animals...so I got you....a rabbit!'

As if on cue a huge, fluffy bunny emerged from its bed looking out at me hoping I would have food. To be honest it might sound strange but that was probably the best present I had ever been given but I must have looked disgusted because Maxxie said 'Oh my god. You hate it don't you? God I'm going to kill that little birdie!'

'NO! No! I love him. He's so cute, but I can't accept it. I mean it's not my birthday and he must have cost loads!'

'Listen Harry, I have this condition called giving-present-itious. Basically if I don't give presents to people then I die!'

'Oh really? Well in that case I don't want to be responsible for your death.' We both laughed and he came over and kissed me on the lips, gently at first then more firmly, slipping his tongue in. When we had finished kissing he looked at me more seriously now and sat down on the bed. 'Seriously though, I am sorry about last night, I shouldn't have pressured you into that and I really am sorry.'

'Maxxie, I didn't have to follow you into bed, but I did. The truth is that I knew something like that would happen and I wanted it too. In fact Maxxie, I've been speaking to mark and...Well, I think I want to do it now.'

'Do what?'

'You know...sex'

I think Maxxie was just as taken aback as I was as those words came out of my mouth. But the truth was that I meant it, and I think he knew that too. 'Are you sure? Harry I don't want to do this if you don't really want to. Ok. Well we'll have dinner here tonight and then we'll see what happens ok?' I agreed.


This was when I lost my virginity. I was on my way to Maxxie's after college when I cam e across some people from music and English class. As I walked by their gang leader stepped in front of me and said, 'alright Lloyd?'

I smiled and said that I was fine, not wanting to start any trouble by seeming rude. 'So is it true that you're a cocksucker?'

I froze. Shit. They were homophobic and now I was really in for it. 'I asked you a fucking question! Are you are fucking cocksucker?' I didn't answer, instead I tried to walk past but two guys stood in my way pushing me back into the middle of a rapidly forming circle. 'What cat got your tongue?'

'Or maybe it's up some fag's arse!' another member of the gang added. Everyone laughed and the gang leader, stepped forward to get right in my face. 'So do you like it? Do you like having cocks down your throat?' I didn't answer. I knew if I did they would kill me but if I didn't then they would kill me for being 'disrespectful.'

'Well, let's find out shall we?'

One of the gang members came up behind me and kicked me in the back of my legs, forcing me to fall onto my knees. I tried to get up but his hands were forcing me to stay down. I watched in shock horror as the gang leader unzipped his trouser and pulled out his extremely long cock. And I mean it was long! The gang leader saw the expression on my face and interpreted it differently.

'Do you like it cocksucker? Do you want to suck it?'

The 5th member of the gang held my nose, forcing me to open my mouth. As soon as I did the gang leader shoved his cock into my mouth, forcing in all of his 9 inches. I gagged as his cock started down my throat and I tried to move back to get some of the cock out, but the guy behind me stopped that. I was about to bite his cock and he must have sensed this because he pulled out and smacked me hard round the face. He hit me again, this time sending me sprawling on the floor. He laughed as the other members of the gang kicked me again and again.

'You liked sucking my cock didn't you, cocksucker?'

I shook my head, hoping beyond hope that they would leave me alone now that they had humiliated me and beaten me up. But it was false hope. The guy that had held me before picked clear up of the floor and pushed me into the corner where a house and a wall met. I thought that maybe someone would walk past and see but I realised that we were now away from the road and it was too dark to see what was going on. The guy still had me by the collar and with one word from the leader he had me bent over a small section of the wall.

First I tried struggling, then I tried screaming, then I tired begging and finally I was to worn out to try anything. 'You finished yet cocksucker? Do you like having a dick up your ass as much as you do down your throat? Because we're about to find out.'

He pulled down my trouser, then my boxers and stepped back to admire his handiwork. I heard some words being muttered and then heard someone coming up behind me. I tried to struggle again but the firm hands were still holding onto me. 'Please! Please don't!'

The gang ignored me. 'Please. Please, I don't want to!' I sobbed. They still ignored me. Suddenly I felt someone's cold hand on my ass and I shivered as I awaited my fate. The hand left my skin then smacked down again sending a wave of pain over my ass and I screamed out. The hand came down again, this time even harder and I screamed out again. The hand repeated this several times before stopping and laughing at me scream and beg for them to stop. Then I felt something even more cold on my ass. Something heavy and solid. Something wooden.

The wooden branch left my skin and I tensed and sobbed while I waited for it to be brought back down on my ass. I waited...and waited...and waited. Nothing. It was just when I thought that they had changed my mind about the stick when I felt it smacking down on my ass. I screamed out so loud in agony and cried so hard that someone had to put their hand over my mouth from fear of being caught. I whimpered from the pain of the second blow, then the third, then the fourth. I could feel something warm trickling down my ass and down my legs. I turned my head as much as the two gang members allowed and saw blood pouring from where they had hit me. I immediately threw up all over the person holding me and in response they smacked me hard across the face.

By now the tears were streaming down my face and the gang leader spotted it. 'Oh! The cocksucker's crying because he wants more!' I shook my head desperately pleading with whoever would listen to let me go. No one listened. To my horror I felt the stick on the top of my back, tracing a line down my spine. It travelled back down to my ass and then smacked one more time, harder than all of the other hits. I was in so much pain, for a few seconds my eyes were blinded by white and my legs collapsed from under me so that I was only being supported by the gang member holding me still. A few seconds passed until I could see straight again.

The man holding me said something to the leader who replied saying something about it not mattering that I could pass out. The gang leader grabbed my hair and yanked my head backwards to look up at him. 'Now listen to me cocksucker. You are going to get fucked tonight. And you are going to get fucked hard. Now if you take it like a good boy, and DON'T pass out, then I'll make sure that only one or two of us fuck you. It's up to you Lloyd. Will you be a good boy?'

My hair was being pulled so tight I couldn't move my head to nod and couldn't speak as the pain from my ass was making my head spin. The gang leader yanked my head back even further and looked me straight in the eyes. 'I asked you a fucking question. Will you be a good boy?'

I still couldn't move my head or speak and so I just stared at him, pleading with my gaze to let me go. The leader got the picture and let go of my hair. My head flopped down onto the wall with my arms. The gang started to talk again but my head was spinning so much I couldn't understand what they were saying. Then I felt someone's hands on my painful ass, clawing at the cuts, making them bigger. I moaned at the pain, unable to fight the person off. Then I felt something else on my ass. It poked around the crack of my arse slowly pushing itself inside. Suddenly there was a popping sound as it entered through my anus. I screamed as the cock was pushed further inside of me, the cocks' width stretching my hole to beyond the limit. A fresh lot of tears poured down my cheeks as the cock drove in and out of me getting faster each time. I begged and pleaded for them to stop but they relentlessly ploughed my ass. I could feel them slowing down as they got ready to cum. 'open your mouth!' the man ordered forcing my jaw open for a clear access to my throat. Just as he was about to cum he pulled out of my ruined ass and shot his load down my throat and all over my face. I could feel the hot cum dripping all over my face, mixing with my tears and dripping to the floor, then mixing with my blood.

The next person stepped up and even though I knew it would be no good I started to plead again. 'Please!' I whimpered 'Please, it hurts! Stop, please stop!' It was no use just like I knew it would be. The second person pushed their cock into my ass and ploughed just like the other person had done. Then after four minutes of this anal torture he began to slow down, pushing himself in as far as he could go and staying in until I screamed louder. As he shot his load I felt it in my ass and I wanted it out. I wanted Maxxie.

Then the leader stepped up behind me. I knew it was him because as he stepped up the gang started cheering him on, telling him to rip me apart and make me cry. When he shoved his cock up my ass my mouth opened in extreme pain but no sound came out. I was in so much pain my head began to spin again and I threw up twice. Then I realised something. The leaders cock wasn't all the way in...It was just the head! I squeezed my ass so tight, ignoring the pain; I just couldn't let him fuck me. I knew I wouldn't be able to take it. 'What's this? You've got a tight ass! We'd better make it bigger.' The leader pulled out and for a few hopeful seconds I thought that he had given up. Then I felt something cold and metal go into my anus. As soon as I worked out what it was I tensed and held my breath. I could no longer feel the pain anymore. I had blocked that out because all I could think about now was what he had just put up my ass.

'Wait, Troy!' the guy that had fucked me first stepped forward 'I think that's a bit too far mate...'

'Too far? You just fucking raped him! Do you want him to go running to the police, telling them what you did? We've got to silence him...but first we can have a bit of fun.'

The knife suddenly jerked left and cut right threw one side of my anus. I screamed, shouted, cried, threw up and then screamed some more. I had never experienced anything even nearly as painful in my life. Then I felt his cock back in my ass, ripping the cut wider as it entered. Then I passed out.

When I woke up I was lying on my back with the gang stood above me and the blood covered knife still in the leader's hand. 'You enjoy that cocksucker?' I could still feel the pain in my ass like it had just been done and I wanted to scream out again. 'I'll tell you what. As you did have a great, accommodating ass, I'll give you a chance to live.'

The other gang members all looked at him shocked as if they'd just realised what was happening. 'You can choose...Your cock....or your life...which one?' I was in so much pain I hardly knew what was happening anymore. 'I think that we should choose for you....all in favour of killing him...' No one raised their hand 'all in favour of cutting off his dick?' the vote was unanimous.

The leader bent down putting the knife to my cock. 'It's a shame; you've got a nice cock and all.' The blade made a small cut into the side of my cock and I screamed out sending a fresh batch of tears to fall onto the floor. The leader pulled back the knife and counted down '5...4...3...2...1...' Suddenly the gang started to shout, but there were more shouts too...there were other people there...oh my god I thought. They've come to hurt me to!

Then I could feel a pair of hands on my face, someone was calling my name but I couldn't really hear them. 'Harry! Harry! Look at me. Look at me!'

Whoever it was calling my name, they started to stroke my cheek and whisper things into my ear. I recognised their voice. It was Maxxie! Maxxie had come to help me!


'Yes! Harry it's me, it's Maxxie.'

'It hurts...'

Then I fell unconscious.....

Ever since that night I have had a small fear of sex. I can never walk alone on a dark night and the only person I feel comfortable touching me is Maxxie. Ever since that day we've been together, and he is the only person I've had sex with ever since.


danny lloyd

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