As Kyle continued milking his cock and sinking his finger deeper inside of him, his mind was flooded with memories of Alex and the passion that ensued...passion and sexual intensity that he had not felt since his late wife.
That night had only been marked by another futile attempt at a set up by one of his colleagues in the firm. Another date. Another awkward dinner. Another night of comparison and unsettled shifting in a chair. Another night of trying to seem interested in her stories and a pleasant smile that hid his true disdain for the evening.
And though he appreciated that people cared, he was tired of it. Vanessa had passed just a few short years earlier, and although he was young and virile, he wasn't ready to just settle down with someone that would live the rest of their days being compared to a ghostly memory. No, Kyle would not settle. And after some many attempts of trying to find him a suitable wife by everyone-even Vanessa's parents-it was getting hard for him to even try any more. So, as this pretty little thing sat across the table babbling about her dog, her charity work, her wish to have children...Kyle simply smiled pleasantly and tried to nod at the appropriate times.
The evening ending as they all did: he escorted them to their door, gave a gentile hug and thanked them for a wonderful evening, ignored her hints for a kiss and enthusiasm to "do it again, sometime." And, each and every time, as he would walk back to his car, he thought of two things: "I miss Vanessa...I need to call Alex."
Alex, Vanessa's younger brother, had been a great consolation to Kyle. If there were a man that loved her as much as Kyle did, it would have been Alex. So, at her passing, they found a great deal of solace in each other's company.
Although Alex was twenty-two, eight years Kyle's junior, they had much in common. Alex, too, was in law school and aspired to be like Kyle in everyway and often referred to Kyle as his best friend. And, Kyle over the last few years had felt the same way. They were pals, buddies, confidants. They could talk about anything from law, to sports, to cars, to sex. And as the years went by, Kyle took note that Alex had a similar problem...relationships were not a forte for either of them.
So, like many times before, Kyle left his date and went to see Alex and unwind from yet another terrible evening. On the drive over, Kyle let the convertible top down, undid his tie, ran his fingers through his dark hair and listened as the wind rushed past him in the dark, humid night as he thought about Alex. There was no need to call or text ahead. No. Alex would be there. He was always there.
As he pulled up to the house, the house where his life had began with Vanessa-her parents home-there lay Alex in a hammock in the distance. Kyle smiled at the idea...a young man, lying in a hammock, looking at the stars, pondering the questions of the universe. Oh, how he remembered those nights.
He turned off the ignition and stepped out of the car. He took off his suit jacket and tie, unbuttoned the top button of his shirt and rolled up the sleeves and stretched. "What an awesome night," Kyle thought as he gazed at the stars. He began walking toward the hammock and couldn't wait to unload to Alex about his day.
"Hey, buddy." Kyle said to Alex. Alex kept his faced turned away. "Alex? You okay, man?"
"Hey man...how'd it go?" Alex responded in a low voice. He lay there perfectly still in only a pair of running shorts. The thick breeze caressed his slender frame and hairless body.
"Same as always...something wrong man?" Kyle continued to study Alex as he lay there motionless, and he couldn't help but notice the perfect definition of his chest and abs...and, his eyes followed the lines cut by his external oblique to his groin. He envied Alex, to an extent. He remembered the days when he was so well defined. However, over the last few years, he had bulked up and was not as cut as he used to be...or as Alex was.
Alex continued lying there, breathing a deep breath ever so often. "Mom and Dad are gone. They went out of town for the weekend," Alex offered.
"Oh, cool. Where'd they go?" Kyle asked.
"I don't know, man. They said but I wasn't really listening." Alex was not his usual upbeat self and Kyle had alarms going off everywhere in his head. He had seen this before...this nothingness that Alex was showing...when Vanessa died.
Kyle crouched on his haunches. "Dude, look at me, man. What's going on? Talk to me. I'm a good listener, you know?" Kyle said as he reached and placed his hand on the back of Alex's head, petting his blonde locks.
"You don't wanna know, Kyle" Alex muttered.
"Buddy, I love you, man. Of course, I wanna know. Now, c'mon. What's bothering you?" Kyle asked.
There was a long and eerie silence between the two of them...like the world had stopped and time had simple ceased to exist. Kyle sensed that this was big...bigger than he may be able to stand. Over the course of a lifetime, he had loved Alex. He was his best friend in everyway. And, after Vanessa's death, it was Alex that Kyle had clung to for support. Right after her passing, he remembered, getting out of bed and getting dressed was all but impossible. It was Alex that stayed with him for weeks, taking care of him, even getting him showered and shaved more often than not. And, in the darkest of nights, when Kyle wept uncontrollably, Alex was there holding him. Even until the early morning light, so many times Alex would lay down with Kyle. Alex has been his rock...and, here he was so broken and distant. Kyle could barely stand it.
"Kyle," Alex said, "you know I love you, right?"
"Of course I do, Alex! I love you, too." Kyle replied.
"Good," he said turning his head to Kyle. His eyes were red, and his cheeks were tear-stained. "I needed to hear that...because, I need to tell you something."
"Alex, you can tell me anything, man. You're my best friend." Kyle reassured him, placing his hand on Alex's shoulder.
"Kyle, I..." Alex paused, "I...I never thought I would be here in this place. You know, where I am in life? I didn't think that I would be at such a crossroads, I guess." He sat up in the hammock and moved over for Kyle to sit next to him. Kyle shuffled into the hammock and placed his arm around Alex.
"You know, when Vanessa died, I swore that I would live life to the fullest. Life is too short, you know? I mean, would you have never imagined that someone you love would be gone, just like that?" Kyle shook his head and wiped his eyes. "Kyle, my life has been geared to making people happy. I played football because Dad wanted me to. I chose law because Mom wanted me to and to make you proud of me. I date this girl and that girl because people want me to try...like what I really want isn't important as long as everyone else is happy."
"Look, Alex. You're right. You've got to do what makes you happy. Look at me...I'm doing the exact same thing. No one knows the hell I go through just to go on these dates with people I don't care about or have nothing for. It's...it's insane. I mean, like right now...with just me and you...I can be myself. I don't have to fake interest in conversation or physical contact. With you it's natural. That tells me right there that I'm not supposed to be with these girls...but, it makes people happy, so..."
"You don't get it, Kyle..." Alex stood up and walked a few steps. His muscles writhed beneath his taunt skin, from his shoulders, to his back, to his full buttocks. Kyle sat, bewildered and unsure. He had never seen Alex like this. He stood up and walked to stand shoulder to shoulder with Alex.
"Alex, I love you man. What is this really about? You wanna quit law school? Do it. You wanna stop dating. Then don't. You wanna move out of the house? Ok, I'll help you or come stay with me. Alex, let me in. Let me help." The silence was deafening. Millennia passed by in those few moments of quietness as they were enveloped in the darkness.
"Kyle...Kyle...I'm gay," Alex whispered. Without pause, Kyle put his arms around Alex and hugged him tightly. Alex returned his embrace and wept in his arms. Again, the moment at hand lasted an eternity, one that neither of them wanted to leave.
"Alex, I love you. You know that, right? I couldn't love you any more or any less. I'm proud of who you are, what you are and whatever it is you're going to be...I can't see you as anything less than perfect." Kyle reached up and held Alex's face in his hands. And, as his green eyes looked into a familiar shade of blue that he had missed for so long, something struck within him. He wiped the tears away and brushed the same, familiar brilliant blonde hair out of the face that seemed so haunting. From the refined nose to the shapely eyes; from the high cheek bones to the full lips.
Kyle noticed his heartbeat getting faster, his breaths coming quicker. Alex reached up and put his hand on the back of Kyle's head, and they began to lean into one another. And, in a spark of passion, their lips met and caressed each other, as if holding each other in their own embrace. As Kyle pressed forward, advancing his tongue into Alex's waiting mouth, Alex returned as he explored Kyle as well. This kiss was supple and seductive, warm and gentile. And, it was at that moment Kyle knew there was no turning back.
TO BE CONTINUED...