My head was whirling, filled with unanswered questions about what had happened and worse still, why it had. Did I seduce Dalton or just follow my gay instincts from the way he spoke and what he said? Those thoughts were followed by self-incrimination and guilt. I remember thinking 'God, why did I let it happen? Dalton is my kid brother not some trick from the streets or bar.' Between those questions and the awful realization that I had enjoyed it. I enjoyed the feel and taste of his thick cock swelling and gushing his sweet cream down my throat, I loved the feel of his tight, still developing, body next to mine. The aroma of a clean boy filling my nostrils was exhilarating and I inhaled deeply the scent of his innocence. Swirling around in my head, mixed with all of the other questions was the thought that maybe I was more perverted than just being gay. I remember thinking just as I felt myself slipping into sleep, 'did I always want boys and not mature men?'
Thinking was not the worst of it, my dreams were filled with fleeting images of our parents shaking their fingers in my face, mouthing unheard words but unheard or not I knew what they were saying, 'you are queer but why are you trying to make your brother queer.' I felt the tears in my eyes as my Dad tried pulling Dalton from my arms and I was screaming, 'no, no, he's mine, we belong together' and then, in the fog of my dreams, he was replaced by a young faceless boy.
His smooth hard muscled body pressed against me and he kissed my forehead and cheeks brushing my lips with his but when I reached for him he disappeared in the fog and then reappearing he lay his head on my stomach. I reached for his head but he brushed my hand away, encircling the head of my pulsing cock with his soft lips. A groan escape from deep within my chest and reaching down, he again brushed my hand away and I felt the intense ecstasy of his mouth sliding down over my dripping cock. The faceless boy held the base of my throbbing cock with one hand while he sucked, his other hand kneading and stretching my balls driving me into a delirious state of euphoria. His hot mouth was a molten hot furnace and my hips bucked driving my cock as deep into his mouth as I could and I groaned, ' Suck it, drain my nuts.' The cream in my balls churned and boiling started rising, my nuts drawing tight and screaming 'Dalton, Dalton, please' I woke up from the intensity of my cock erupting, gushing hot thick streams of my seed into his sucking mouth. I fell back on the pillows my chest heaving, gasping for air, the feeling of cum dripping from his mouth rolling down the wilting length of my cock into the thick pubic hair at its base.
Dalton held my soft cock with his lips, his tongue cleaning the last drops that oozed from the urethral slit in its head. The beating of my racing heart slowed, as my breathing became more normal and tight straining muscles slowly relaxed. He laid his head on my stomach and placing his leg over mine he drew his body closer. I felt the sticky wetness of his cock pressing against my thigh and I ran my hand over the satiny softness of his shoulders, into his thick soft hair.
We lay quietly for several minutes the thoughts and dreams faded, replaced by a feeling of calm and acceptance. He was my kid brother, a little boy that deep within my heart, I loved intensely. I felt the warmth of his breath wafting over my chest as he lay with his head on my chest, and a musky aroma of shampoo drifted up from his hair filling my nostrils. He lay next to me with one arm across my chest, and his free leg over mine and, I felt his hand slowly moving over my ribs and the soft concave of my buttocks.
'Dalton.' I said softly.
He didn't move but I heard his soft reply, 'Huh.'
'Turn around and lay beside me.'
He hesitated for a few seconds before he lifted his head from my stomach and twisting at the waist he scooted up enough to lay his head on my chest, his free arm over my chest and his leg over my crotch. His chest was sticky with the sperm he had ejaculated and I smiled softly to myself, kissing his head, inhaling the clean smell of his hair.
The unblemished skin on his shoulders was satiny soft and when I ran my fingers down over his rib cage he flinched and giggled softly, whispering, 'that tickles Carlie.'
'We never did play together much did we Dalt?'
'No but you were gone. I used to think about it though. I would be playing with the other kids and I wondered what it would be like running down the football field and catching a long pass from you for a touchdown. When I was skinny dipping in the Licken Creek with some of my buddies I always wished you were there with me, that would have been fun. When Mom found out, she would fuss and tell Dad. He would give me a stern lecture on it not being safe but he would just box my ears playfully. He had done it when he was young so he couldn't really punish me for it.
Did you ever go skinny dipping in the creek Carlie?' He asked, moving up a little more, laying his head on my shoulder.
Memories of swimming naked in Licken Creek flooded into my brain. Pleasant memories of sun browned bodies grabassing in chest deep water half developed dicks flopping around on some still hairless bodies and those that were a couple of years older just sprouting sprigs of under arm and pelvic hair. We were the proudest and liked teasing the others especially Paul Johnson. He was a year older then me and smoothly muscled. Paul and I learned how to jerk off and we experimented together. His five inch circumcised dick was like a javelin when it was hard and when he let me hold it for the first time, it felt smooth and hot. I think Paul knew I had feelings for him even though I was only fifteen years old. He and I would sneak off lots of times after that first time, and I would jerk him off but he never touched me and as far as I knew, he never told any of the other boys. He started going with one of the girls in school and sort of ignored me after that and it hurt but I didn't know why, then. 'Yeah.' I thought. 'We swam naked in the creek many times and Paul and I were always the last ones dressed when we had to go home.'
'You were only two or three years old back when I did Dalt, and Mom and Dad would fuss at me just like they did you. We still went though even after old man Gertamuller threw florescent tubes in the creek. We cleaned them out and went swimming anyway. It would have been fun swimming together back then.' I said feeling just a little nostalgic thinking about earlier years.
'Why did you leave Carl? I missed you after you left, and you were gone for so long I didn't know if you were ever coming back. Most of the other guys had brother's but I didn't, at least not at home.'
'Oh I don't know kid, lots of reasons. One was that I wanted to get away, go somewhere else and figure out my life or at least try and figure it out. The Navy seemed the best way too get away and, like they say 'get out of Dodge'. I have a hunch you have been feeling the same way I did when I was your age. Girls scared me but boys scared me even more or better still, I didn't understand why boys scared me. I didn't know what a sexual attraction was or that the feelings I would get was that. I liked girls but I didn't feel anything for them, they were there that's all, just there, all around me but there was no feeling for them like I would have when I was with boys. One boy, Paul Johnson made me feel all warm and sort of giddy when he and I were together. He was older, bigger, well built and good looking and I think I loved him but, I didn't know why,' I said softly, the old feelings welling up inside of me as I thought about him.
'I remember him Carl, his picture is on the wall at school. He was a big basketball and track star. Did you and him play together?'
'We played basketball but not track. He could run the pants off of me, and most of the other kids. I guess you could say Paul was my first sexual experience. We learned how to jerk off together but we never did anything else. We did it lots of times until he started going with a girl named Joyce Marple. After that, we drifted apart and it was not long after that I joined the Navy.'
'You and he didn't do what we did.'
'Nope, that came later but not with Paul, Dalt,' I replied, glancing down at the sticky sperm on his and my chests. 'Right now, we better get out of bed and clean up or you are going to start itching when that stuff on your chest and stomach starts drying.'
Dalton didn't move except for a kiss on my cheek. He looked at me with his big soft brown eyes and sort of matter of factly said, 'It washes off Carl. Did you really feel about Paul the same way I feel about you?'
'You Dalton Evers are a persistent little devil aren't you? You are my kid brother, you're supposed to have some feelings for me.'
Dalton was not going to let it go at that and he rose up on his elbow looking down at me. With a serious but soft look in his eyes he gazed at me for a few seconds. 'God.' I mused to myself. 'He is more gorgeous than any trick I'd ever had. He is a pure inquisitive, learning Adonis and as much as I know it is wrong, I was falling more in love with him.'
'Carl, please, I need to know. I've loved you as far back as I can remember,' he pleaded. 'Do you remember the time you caught me with the rubber I took from your wallet? I knew what it was for from hearing the older boys talking about what they were used for and they teased us bragging about it, showing them to us other kids. I didn't know why but I felt jealous thinking about you doing it with a girl. Later on when I got a little older I started feeling the way you have been talking and it scared me. I lay in bed some nights hugging the pillow wishing it were you so I could talk about it but you weren't here. I tried talking with Dad but you know how he is about that. He would just tell me I'd get over it when I was older. Carlie, I'm almost seventeen, and I haven't gotten over it. No one taught me how to jerk off, I learned from looking at pictures in some magazines I found hidden behind the school and watching other boy's sort of playing with themselves in the showers. The first time I had an orgasm I screamed so loud Mom came into my bedroom and I told her I had a nightmare. It wasn't a nightmare Carl, I was looking at that picture of you over there on my desk thinking about you and wanting you home with me. I wanted you here with me Carlie to teach me and help me understand why I felt the way I do. You don't know how lonely it's been being here without someone I could talk with.' He whimpered, running his hand over my chest.
Tears were running down his cheek dripping from his chin onto my chest. His eyes were filled with hurt and anguish. A deep feeling of guilt washed over me and a little voice screamed in my head. 'My only kid brother and I wasn't here when he needed me the most.'
'Easy Dalton, I'm here now.' I said softly, putting my arms around him and pulling him down on my chest. Stroking his hair I waited until he calmed down a little, trying to think how I could answer his accusations so it made sense to both of us. The simplest would be the truth.
'Dalton, I've always loved you and your right I wasn't here for you but you were still just a baby when I left and I didn't know who or what I was. Like you said, Dad wouldn't talk about it and like you I had to find out on my own, that's why I had to get away. I thought I just liked other guys doing me until one day I went all the way and then I knew I was gay and that is why I stayed away so long. I was worried Mom and Dad would find out even though deep inside of me I knew that they had to know sooner or later. It would hurt Mom but I guess what I was really afraid of is how Dad would take it.'
'They know Carlie or they suspect it. I heard them talking about it once and that's how I found out or at least I thought I did. I still didn't really know anything about it. They both, especially Mom were wondering why you hadn't married some girl and Dad said you might not like girls, you never talked about any when you were home. Mom went all blubbery when he said that and she said that was impossible; you were to good looking for some nice girl not to want to marry you. They both went sort of blubbery and Dad told Mom that if you were that way, they wouldn't love you any less because of it, you were their oldest and that would never change. I held my breath waiting for them to say something about me but they didn't. I really didn't think so either until I picked you up at the airport. I knew how I felt and when we were in the bathroom at the drive-in, I saw you looking sideways at me, and we both started getting hard, that sort of told me you felt the same way I did. I was hoping you did. .'
A deep feeling of belated relief flowed over me when Dalton related the story about Mom and Dad. I had worried about it for years. I squeezed him a little harder, and lifted his face to mine with my fingers under his chin.
'Dalton, I love you more now than I ever have.' I whispered brushing his lips with mine. 'You won't be alone anymore kid, I promise. Whenever or where ever you need me, I'll be there.'
With a quick twist of his body he straddled my waist. Leaning forward he put his hands on either side of my head and locked his arms at the elbow. His chest muscles swelled as he breathed and his dark brown eyes glistened. Lowering his lips to mine we kissed tenderly and when I put my hands around his waist he lifted his body upwards sliding his hands over my chest. His thigh and abdominal muscles tightened with the easy strain until he was keeling upright over me. Leaning backwards slightly, his steel hard cock stood out from its silky dark nest reaching for the ceiling. He slowly lowered his ass over my hardening cock until it fit between his cheeks and I gasped sucking air into my lungs from the intense feeling that surged upward from the depths of my loins.
Taking my hand he wrapped the fingers around his cock and I could feel the pulse of his heartbeat. Grinning like and imp, his eyes flashing he looked deep in my eyes.
'Does that feel like a kid Carlie?' He said softly, clinching his butt cheeks tight around my aching cock.
I almost shot my load at the sensation he was creating when he clinched and relaxed clinching again and I gasped almost panting from the ecstatic sensations covering me.
'Kids don't do that Dalt. Where did you learn it?'
His face broke into a brilliant smile, his even white teeth flashing and I heard him sort of chuckle deep in his chest. He leaned forward again placing his hands where they had been and thankfully relieving the pressure on my throbbing cock or I was ready to have one hell of an orgasm. In one smooth motion he locked his arms in place and did a half hand stand, straightening he legs out and doing a sort of toe stand. His magnificently muscled body strained from being suspended over me and I didn't realize I had been holding my breath until I slowly exhaled waiting for him to lower down on top of me. He lowered his body from the waist to his feet and still hovered over me for a few more seconds before lowering his torso. His hard cock and mine were pressed between our hips and I felt the beat of his heart as he breathed.
'I told you about the picture magazines didn't I? Both guys and girls do that and I wanted to try it and feel what it was like.'
'And the naked acrobatics, what about that?'
'We do that in the gym at school when we are doing tumbling exercises.'
'Pretty neat but Dalton, as hot and bothered as you've got me and yourself, we gotta get out of bed.'
'I don't know why Carlie, no one is here but you and me.' He pouted like a little kid.
'I can think of several reason little brother. We need to clean up, I'm hungry, and so are you. And the big one is, don't try and make up for several years all in one night and day.'
'Now you sound just like Mom and Dad, so logical. Besides that, when are you going to stop calling me little and kid? ' He said rolling off of me, his still hard cock slapping against his flat stomach.
Swinging my legs over the side of the bed and sitting up, I leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. 'Probably never little brother,' I said softly. 'The one thing you can't change is that you will always be my kid brother.'
'You didn't think I was so little a few minutes ago,' He replied almost triumphantly.
'That was different. Lets get a shower and eat I am starving. You better get a move on if you want that car.'
That comment brought him upright out of bed. 'Car, what car?' He said excitedly.
'The one I'm going to get you for your almost seventeenth birthday, that one.' I said grinning and feeling his excitement.
'You mean it Carl, you really mean it. Oh Jesus, I love you.' He exclaimed throwing his arms around my neck and knocking us back on the bed.
Laughing, we wrestled for a few minutes until I let him pin me half on and half off of the bed. He was straddling me like he had before and he held my arms pinned over my head. We both were breathing hard from the exertion and excitement but it was not a sexual excitement even though we were naked. It was the excitement of two brothers finally having fun with each other.
I convinced Dalton to shower even though he didn't want to. He didn't really think of himself as a teenage but I knew different, I remember when I was sixteen. Hormones raged at that age and although I was eleven years older than him, I wasn't dead. I didn't want what we had discovered in our feelings for each to degenerate into a morass of wanton sex. I had been with enough men to know how quickly that could happen and as much as I didn't want to think about it, it was not a given that Dalton was or ever would be completely gay. An affair with me did not necessarily mean he was and what he had done could only mean he was still searching. Loving me was natural since I was his brother but sex has a funny way of making people say and do things that later change. If he was gay, I wanted the relationship to be based on love and trust not just sex.
I had just finished laying out what I was going to wear on the unused bed when he bounced out of the bathroom soaking wet and holding a towel.
'All yours Carlie.'
He stood in a gathering puddle of water, his wet hair almost black, his body glistening in the light, and his still developing chest was heaving slightly from either excitement or the exertion of taking a shower. Working out with weights and tumbling showed in the development of his pectoral and deltoid muscles. The roundness of his breasts with their dark nipples was a feature I wish I had. It always excited me when I met a man that had large brown breasts and dark full nipples. His biceps and forearms were still developing but impressive when flexed. His lateral muscles flared just enough to show their development and his small waist and flat stomach accented the width of his pelvis and hips. His flaccid cock hung down from an impressive growth of luxuriantly thick silky dark hair and the length of his cock matched his low hanging balls. There was a light growth of hair on his thickly muscled thighs and smoothly tapering calves. The toes on his not overly large feet were evenly spaced and perfectly matched in length. Dalton was built the way every man yearned to be. I knew that when he was fully grown and developed, men and women would drool over him.
'Jesus, Dalt. I didn't see how beautiful you really are until just now. You keep working out and doing your exercises in school and you will be one hell of a knock out.'
'Look in the mirror Carlie.' He said teasingly, pulling the towel over his back his muscles rippling with the seesaw motion.
'It's because we have the same father. You ever notice how Dad is built. He ain't no slouch when you get right down to it. Working for old man Miller has put a lot of muscle in the right places.'
'Your right again,' I replied. 'I don't think either of us ever thought much about how well built Dad is.' I said, maybe a little to excitedly seeing his cock swell from the rough drying he gave it. 'I'll be finished in just a minute.'
It took me about 10 minutes to shower and when I came out of the bathroom drying myself off like Dalton had, he was pulling a robins egg blue pullover down over his chest. I looked at him and then down at myself.
'Dalt, we both could use some sun. Do the guys still swim in the creek?'
'I wish. The paper mill has been dumping stuff in it. The water is all black looking and you can see dead fish floating on top and on the banks. Lots of the kids swim at Phillips but I like swimming in the pool at school, it's not as crowded especially in the summer.'
'What about the lake then?'
'Lake Gaston, sure.' He said pulling his Levi shorts up over his brief clad hips. 'Sometimes the church takes a group of kids up there in the church bus. I've been there a couple of times. I was hoping, now that I have my drivers license, Dad would let me use the car but I'm not sure he will.'
'Awww cripes Carl. I asked him and he's afraid I'll take a bunch of kids and mess the car up or something like that. He let me drive it by myself to pick you up so I don't see why not.' He said with just a little pique in his voice.
My kid brother had just reverted to being a sixteen year old but I turned away not wanting him to see the grin on my face. Dad was probably right about the kids but I didn't think Dalton would let them mess up the car. Thinking about it though, you couldn't blame Dad; his car was his pride and joy.
'What do you think he is going to say when you have your own car Dalt?'
He turned looking at me quizzically for just a second before he answered. 'Probably the same thing but it will be my car and I'm not going to let anyone mess it up Carl. I can promise you that.'
'He feels the same way as you so don't be so hard on him. You know how he has always felt about his cars.'
'I'm not Carl but I wished he would trust me a little more and not be so hard assed all of the time. He always gives me a hard time when he thinks I'm getting a little too big for my britches.'
'He does that little brother because he loves you. He wants you to be right when you leave him and Mom. You will one day, and he knows it. Just go along with him, try, and do what he tells you, he is only thinking about your future.'
'Yeah, I guess your right but it is so hard sometimes.'
'I know, I felt the same way. Come on lets eat and then we'll get a cab over too Carlson's. Tatem Taxi is still in business isn't it?'
'Sure they are Carl but why Carlson's? Why not Acme or A1 Autos? They have some real neat convertibles, all late models.' He whined sucking his gut in and buckling his belt.
'Because Dalton, Carlson has the best reputation outside of Indianapolis and Dad buys from Jim Carlson.
We had a light breakfast of grapefruit and cereal. Dalton fixed the Grape-Nuts while I sliced and de-seeded a grapefruit. I fixed a cup of instant coffee for myself and he drank milk, almost a full quart saving enough for another bowl of cereal and I noticed he put very little sugar on his cereal.
He cleaned up and put the dishes away while I called Tatem for a cab. Tatem was in business when I was a boy and they had always used four door Dodge sedans with leather interiors. Dad didn't, very often, spend good money on taxi's figuring we could walk were we were going but when we did, I loved the smell the pungent smell of the leather seats.
My Aunt Martha gave me a leather jacket for my fifteenth birthday, and I practically slept in it I liked the smell of leather so much. 'Dalton, do you know if my old leather jacket is around somewhere? It used to be in my bedroom closet.'
'It's upstairs in the attic Carl. I tried it on a couple of times but Mom wouldn't let me wear it. She packed it away when they re-modeled. She thought you might want it again someday but I don't think it will fit you anymore. You've put on a few pounds of muscle since you were a teenager.'
'She should have let you wear it, no need for it to rot in the attic.' I said.
A car horn blared twice from outside. Tatem's arrival signal hadn't changed and when I looked out the window, a dark green Dodge waited at the curb. When we reached the car and opened the rear door, the familiar smell of worn leather assailed my nostrils and I breathed in deeply thinking, 'some things never changed.'