More Than Roommates

It was astounding how much my mother thought I would need for my first semester away at college. It was less astounding that my dad had left the second the last box was set down in my dorm room. Well, I have to give him a little more credit, I knew the reason he left was that he was getting emotional and he believes ‘less is more’ when it comes to showing feelings. That at least gave him the strength to make the 3 hour drive to my university. My mother collapsed like a poorly constructed house of cards when she finally processed that I wouldn’t be home until thanksgiving, and thus was unable to attend my drop off.

Every few moments someone would walk past my door with boxes or bags in hand. And each time I would stop searching for a place to store the dozens of notebooks my mom bought for me and prepared to introduce myself to my roommate for the next year. My original roommate dropped out so my future living companion was a mystery. I had just about finished getting settled in when I heard a knock on the already open door. 

I turned to see an imposing guy standing on the threshold, bag in hand and another slung over his shoulder. He looked to be about my age but was a few inches taller and broader. His thick brow was knotted in a vexed expression.

“Hey,” I said, mirroring his confusion.

“Hi, is this room 306?” he asked robotically.

“Yeah, I’m Owen. I guess I’m your roommate,” I said.

“It is good to meet you Owen. My name is Nikolai. Sorry that I am arriving late. They needed to change the room that I was given,” he explained as he stepped into the room. He extended his hand mechanically and I grabbed it. He firmly squeezed and gave it one solid shake. As I withdrew I flexed my fingers to ensure nothing had been dislocated.

“No worries, it gave me a chance to unpack. I hope you don’t mind. I picked this bed,” I said, gesturing to my side of the room. “Also we have this futon couch thing? I think this room may have been intended for 3 people at one point.”

“I will take the other bed,” Nikolai said, tossing his bags on his half of the floor. He then plopped onto the adjacent desk chair and let out a tired sigh.

I expected him to say or do… something? Anything? But he just sat there, head back and eyes closed.

“You have a bit of an accent,” I observed. “Where are you from?”

After a deep breath Nikolai met my eye and said that he was from a country in eastern Europe (that I am intentionally withholding). And that he did not like living there and essentially fled to the US via academic scholarships. Before that he played rugby but when he realized school was the only realistic way for him to leave his homeland he spent more time focusing on his studies. He was majoring in microbiology and was hoping to stay in the US. And lastly, he preferred to go by Nick.

Now, that was a summary of course, but I’m honestly not leaving much out. I could tell that Nick was a rather… reserved if not harsh kind of guy. It was consistent with his appearance, his very short, nearly black hair contrasted starkly with his smooth pale skin. His eyes were dark giving a hint of a scowl at all times and his jaw was so sharp it looked like you could slice an onion with it.

I reciprocated with a brief description of my unremarkable life thus far while he listened politely. I didn’t expect much of a reaction. I grew up in a suburb of Philadelphia, I was studying economics, I played lacrosse in high school, pretty mundane stuff. 

I did leave one particular thing out when describing myself to Nick. The suburban town I had come from was rather conservative and I was really hoping to exercise my new freedoms while at college. Sexual freedoms specifically. I had awkward clumsy sex with my girlfriend my senior year of high school, but we hadn’t stayed together and as enjoyable as it was it left me generally wanting more. 

Specifically I wanted to start trying things with girls and other guys. I can’t say exactly where the urge originally came from, but towards the end of high school I would find myself staring at my teammates in the locker room when changing for practice and on more than one occasion got a little hard while doing so. I never tried anything, but with all the joking around and mock flirting I was frequently concealing a boner.

Nick unfortunately did not seem the type to support this desire, which was fine, I didn’t need his approval. Though I admittedly wanted it, because the entire time Nick and I spent introducing ourselves to each other I found myself distracted by his large muscles and harsh but devilishly sharp features.

This might make for a difficult living situation.

As we fell into a routine with our classes and activities, Nick and I went through periods of only seeing each other briefly in our room just before going to sleep. This did mean though that I often saw Nick as he got ready for bed. Nick wore rather plain, loose, and conservative clothes, but from his years of rugby playing, his thick muscles would telegraph through the fabric around his chest, arms, and thighs. 

After a few weeks of becoming familiar with each other, Nick would occasionally remove his shirt while I was still in the room. The first time I saw him like that, I needed to consciously look away. The brief sight looked like an animated marble statue. Nick’s smooth white skin was wrapped tightly around layers and layers of muscle. No, he wasn’t ‘jacked’ or ‘shredded’. He didn’t have the kind of definition for a visible six pack, but the muscles were obvious. 

To be polite and to cool down a bit, I offered to leave the room when he needed to change into or out of his bottoms. Nick seemed to appreciate this gesture, though I don’t think he would have appreciated all the glances I stole back at him as I slipped through our door. Sadly, despite my efforts, nothing intimate was revealed to me.

I filed away the thought of us ever doing anything together deep in the back of my mind, and instead tried setting my sights on my other classmates. There was a girl in my statistics class I had my eye on and a guy in my history elective that had peaked my interests. I was content keeping mine and Nick’s interactions to the brief, pleasant, (slightly robotic) conversations we had about our different cultures and helping Nick adjust to his American lifestyle.

That was going… somewhat well, until Nick told me one afternoon that he had acquired what he deemed ‘decent vodka’ (he was only 20, so I’m not sure how) and wanted to ‘throw some back with the boys’ that night. I asked who else was coming over, but he clarified that ‘no, just me and you are the boys’, and I clarified that wasn’t exactly the right use of the expression then.

I had done some secretive drinking in high school. Like when a friend convinced an older cousin to buy us a six pack of beer, which I did not expect to taste the way it did. Or sneaking some peach schnapps from my parents liquor cabinet. But doing shots of vodka with Nick was next level.

He laughed at how I shuddered once the liquid passed over my tongue and said, “You have good spirit but much to learn.” 

“Have you drunk much?” I asked as I rubbed a tear from my eye. “Like in the past, did you drink much back home?”

“I could drink legally 2 years ago, but people start drinking around 16 years from where I lived.”

“So ‘yes’?”

“My homeland could be rather… sad. So we would usually drink to make it less sad.”

“That’s kind of depressing.”

Nick didn’t say much after that as we passed the bottle back and forth. However, I needed to extend the time between pulls so I started talking about any random thing that came to my mind, my muddled brain relying on our immediate setting for inspiration. After a few observations about how dreary our room looked at night with the ceiling light on, I commented that Nick looked extremely eastern European. Nick asked if it was because of how he dressed.

“Sort of. You just have very slavic features,” I explained. “You look like a bodyguard who’s going to threaten to rearrange my teeth if I don’t stop looking at you funny.”

“Rearrange not like a dentist but punch out of the mouth?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I laughed, reaching over and running the tips of my fingers over his short buzzed hair. “And you have the classic military haircut that just screams ‘I stabbed a guy in the Siberian wilderness’.”

Nick grabbed my wrist and twisted my arm and body so that I landed on my back on our room’s futon, nearly knocking the wind out of me.

“You are a fool to touch the head of a military that has stabbed the wilderness,” Nick half giggled, half slurred.

Nick crouched over me pinning me to the seat. My heart began to race as I could feel myself starting to get hard. Since the handshake we shared when we first met we barely made any physical contact. With his hands wrapped around my arms I could feel the heat coming off his body and melting into my skin. He was still chuckling with his face only a foot away from mine and from the angle we were at the desk light made his eyes shine like a pair of dark precious stones. I was quickly growing more and more erect. I glanced down and saw my dick was very conspicuously hoisting up my sweatpants. 

Oh god please don’t look down. Shit, I should stop looking down!

“Hey, get off me ya big ape,” I said trying to sound as playful (and not aroused) as possible.

He let me twist in his clutches a bit. I always thought I was strong but realized I would likely lose this battle if it was legitimate. For some reason this only aroused me further and I noticed a very small wet spot forming where the tip of my pulsing dick was pressing into the fabric of my pants. He released me and flopped half onto the floor half onto the futon, our heads still facing each other, his one arm resting to the side of my head. 

We looked at one another for a moment, the kind of smoldering look that made me think, ‘Wait, is this really happening?’

Eventually Nick glanced up or rather to the top of my head and I felt his arm shift and his fingers slowly raked through my comparatively longer hair. After a couple of passes of his fingers across my scalp and still staring at my apparently mesmerizing hair, Nick whispered, “You look like one of those boys in the American movies.”

I didn’t know how to respond. ‘Thank you’ didn’t feel quite right so I said nothing and relished the feeling of his strong fingers combining through my hair, staring at his statuesque face.

Sooner than I would have liked, Nick withdrew his hand, lowered his eyes back to mine and said through his inebriated smile, “The vodka has made me tired. Goodnight Owen.”

Nick wobbled to his feet and staggered the few steps to his bed before unceremoniously flopping onto it, quickly losing consciousness.

“Goodnight Nikolai…” I whispered, deciding to sleep where I lay.

The next month passed rather uneventfully between Nick and me. I figured our encounter had been a drunken anomaly and that nothing else would actually happen between us. This did little to quell my interest in Nick though. I still peeked at him when he would dress or undress, and still failed to see anything more than I normally would. 

At the end of September I thought I would take advantage of a Sunday afternoon alone in our room to jack off. The frequency of touching myself had dropped significantly now that I had to share a bedroom with another person. 

Though I wouldn’t object to jacking off with Nick.

No, I had to let that notion go. Nothing good could come from dwelling on these feelings.

I scanned through dozens of videos on my laptop to find something to stimulate me and came across a video of two guys double penetrating some girl with a ton of tattoos. The video had obvious slavic origins and one of the guys even had the same hair cut and hair color as Nick. I watched and stroked as this guy complete jackhammered this girl (while the other essentially fucked her face) and wondered if Nick had ever done the deed. Not the jackhammering or face fucking necessarily, but just regular sex.

I bet he has. I’ll bet he’s fucked a lot. I bet he fucks like that. Like an animal. He’s so large and strong, he could destroy anyone. God, I bet he looks good fucking. 

The Nick look alike abruptly pulled out and yanked the girls head back by her hair, violently uncoupling her from his cohorts dick. After some rapid tugs a few spurts of cum rained down over her face.

I bet Nick cums a lot. He’s such a big guy it would make sense. And he’s so reserved, so controlled. I bet he has really heavy balls just begging to be emptied.

Suddenly I felt that familiar pang in my crotch signaling that I had crossed the point of no return. A surprisingly large burst of cum sprang out of me onto my desk. I pointed my dick closer to myself so it would spill onto my chest, and spill it did. Burst after burst rained down onto my chest and stomach. It had definitely been a while and fuck did it feel good to finally release.

I looked back up to my desk for something to clean myself off and saw that the video I was watching had ended. It finished so long ago in fact it had automatically gone into another and was over a minute in.

I suppose I hadn’t really been watching. I had been thinking of Nick…

As we got closer to midterms, I started spending less and less time in our dorm room and more and more time at the library studying. Nick and I were still on good terms (not as good as I might have liked) but we had other friends that shared our majors. 

I had taken on an ambitious course load and was becoming increasingly overwhelmed trying to adequately prepare for all of my upcoming tests. By design, the library was a good place to concentrate and study, but as the days slipped past and midterms drew closer the tension among the library-goers was becoming uncomfortably palpable.

I was not alone in my stress over the first college midterm. After seeing a girl I met at the welcome retreat vomit all over the library floor after having a panic attack, I decided I would be better off studying in my dorm room. As I left the library I started going over some of what I had just reviewed in my head. Without my notes in front of me though I began mixing two subjects growing increasingly panicked as they wove together a tapestry of mismatched formulas.

I hardly greeted Nick as I returned and spent the first few moments tearing open my backpack and audibly flipping through pages in both my text books and notes books. Involuntarily I began grunting as I felt a headache set in.

“Owen, what is wrong?” Nick asked, turning around in his desk chair to face me.

“Sorry, it’s nothing,” I sighed. “I just have my business analytics and calculus midterms tomorrow and I’ve studied a lot for both and now they’re just like blending together in my mind right now and it feels like I’m forgetting stuff from both.”

“If you have studied for both you should do well on both tests,” Nick reasoned.

“Yeah, I know. You’re probably right,” I said, rubbing my eyes. “I’m now more stressed about just being stressed. I’m worried that I’m going to still feel this way tomorrow and panic and totally shit the bed on one or both of the exams.”

“You should try to do something to relax,” Nick suggested.

Yeah no shit. Thanks for the pro tip.

“Yes. I know,” I said, trying to mask my irritation. “But it started raining outside and staying here just makes me feel like I should be studying.”

Nick seemed to be at a loss for words and just offered a pitying grin.

“I’m sorry,” I said, flopping down onto the futon. “I don’t mean to bitch so much. I know you have tests you need to study for too.”

“Let me show you what I do to relax,” Nick suggested getting up from his desk. He motioned for me to scoot to one side of the couch. When I complied he sat next to me, spread his legs apart and patted the spot between them.

“Sit here,” he instructed.

“Uh… ok…”

Once I sat, Nick placed his hands on my shoulders and began rubbing my neck. It felt better than I expected it to. I didn’t realize how tense my muscles were. 

“Take a big breath,” Nick said softly. Despite his words being barely audible I still jumped in surprise.

“Relax, relax,” He continued. “I am going to help you feel more calm.”

Nick pulled me closer up against his body, I could feel his firm muscles press against my back. I took in a sharp breath as I felt a stirring inside me that settled between my legs. Nick slipped both hands under my armpits and began rubbing my chest. I could feel my heart beating faster and faster as Nick’s palms passed over it. I looked down to see the bulge in my pants grow and become more defined.

Fuck, I hope he doesn’t see that I’m getting a boner. Wait… Is he trying to give me a boner? What the fuck is this!?

The lower Nick’s hands got the harder I leaned against his chest. I ever so faintly felt the side of my head brush against his cheek. He didn’t seem to mind the additional contact, he didn’t pull away at all.

Finally, his hands had sunk low enough to catch on my waistband. I expected him to start working his way back up my stomach but instead his left thumb hooked inside the waist of my pants and pulled it slightly away from my lap. With the gap he had just created Nick slipped the fingers of his right hand softly over the meager pubic hair I had and gently wrapped them around the base of my now very engorged shaft.

Out of reflex I grabbed his wrist and half spun around to almost face him, my right shoulder digging into his chest. Because of the angle we couldn’t look eye to eye but I could see enough of his face to realize he too was stricken with a look of shock.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asked softly. I could feel his grip on my manhood loosen slightly.

There was a moment of silent stillness before I shook my head. Realizing that he couldn’t see what I was signaling I whispered, “No. Don’t stop”. The sound of my lips parting louder than the words themselves.

Simultaneously Nick’s mouth bent into a content grin and his grasp on me tightened. He ran his hand slowly up and down the full length of my dick and said, “It feels like you are enjoying it.”

I chuckled nervously, unable to form any semblance of a sentence. 

After a few gentle passes from base to tip Nick softly (and almost surprised) said “You’re a big boy. You need to be careful with this or you will be a father soon.”

If I could have gotten any harder I would have. Instead, I tried to acknowledge his observation with another chuckle but the sound twisted into a moan as Nick gripped me harder and began to pull at me more aggressively. His bobbing fist had forced over the waistband of my pants and I could see the pink head of my dick poking up at me from within Nick’s fingers.

I had obviously jacked off before, I had even received a few clumsy handjobs in high school, but this was the first time someone else had touched me with a familiarity and expertise that allowed me to truly lose myself in the sensation.

Without realizing I had grabbed him, I noticed that I was holding onto Nick’s leg just above his knee. Now, feeling that my other hand was lonely, I reached behind myself and placed it on the back of Nick’s neck. 

At some point Nick’s fingers had passed over the tip of my dick carrying a strand of precum down the underside of my shaft. The barely perceptible stickiness tempting me to spill more.

It was obvious that I wasn’t going to last much longer like this. Feeling the warmth of Nick’s thick, strong hand on the most intimate part of my body felt so familiar and yet so new. I wanted to feel him. I needed to know if this was exciting him too. The position of our bodies put his groin out of my reach so I tried scooting back, hoping to feel his bulge against my lower back.

Agh, come on! I just want to feel you too…

My shift in posture had suddenly granted Nick further range on my member and I could feel the sensation building inside me nearing its peak. My eyes snapped open (I didn’t even realize they were closed) and I gasped, “Nick, I think I’m going to cum.”

I suddenly became worried that he didn’t intend for me to ejaculate. That this really was just some “massage”. I moved my hand to his wrist but as I started wrapping my fingers around his arm Nick purred in a soft low voice, “Good boy…”

That did it. The moment I registered those two words I felt myself slip past the point of restraint. I bit my lip to conceal the moan climbing up my throat the same way I felt the cum rising in my cock below Nick’s fingers. I let out a strained groan as the first parts of my load sprung out of me. 

“Don’t hold your voice in,” Nick murmured.

My jaw snapped open like a reverse bear trap and a throaty whine passed from my lips. As gush after gush poured out of me the guttural howl wavered in my chest. It felt like my entire being was pouring out the end of my dick. My body twisted within Nick's embrace as more and more of me spilled out over his hand. My cry rose and fell but eventually subsided into breathless pants as the stream from me slowed, lessened, and finally stopped.

My chest noticeably rose and fell with each of my ragged breaths and I was certain my heart was beating so loudly Nick could hear it. I slumped back against him to which he laughed slightly and said, “You… made a lot. You need to be very careful or you will be a father very soon.”

I looked down to see he was right. I had completely covered Nick’s hand, along with most of my lap, a fair bit had even shot up onto my shirt. Nick carefully released me and slid out from behind me.

“Take this,” he said, handing me a towel I had hanging off the back of my desk chair. “I will clean in the bathroom.”

After Nick exited I removed my clothes and wrapped the towel around my waist after wiping up the flecks of cum I had also spread onto the floor. Then I just stood awkwardly in the middle of the room for a moment.

What the fuck was that? Why did he do that? Why did he think I would want that? I mean… I did want that. But how did he know? Have I been too obvious? But he seems so… nonchalant about it? Is this a common thing to do in his home country? No, that’s ridiculous. Or is it? Are things going to be awkward between us now? Does he think we’re in a relationship? We haven’t even like kissed or anything? Who jumps straight to a fricking handjob!?

“Are you ok?”

“Jesus,” I screeched, spinning around to face the door.

Nick looked a bit apprehensive, “Sorry. I did not mean to scare you. Do you still feel stressed?”

“What?” I wheezed.

“The stress relief!” he beamed. “I wanted to help you relax.”

Is that what that fucking was? A stress relief exercise?

“Uh… yeah,” I stuttered, forcing a smile. It was true, I couldn’t remember what I was bothered about earlier.

“Oh sorry, I will let you shower,” Nick said, stepping out of the door.

I stood still under the flowing water for about 15 minutes, contemplating what I would say to Nick when I got back to the room. After my fingers and toes had become sufficiently pruny, I decided to not say anything unless he brought it up. When I got back Nick was already pulling his covers over himself. 

Does it matter if I get naked in front of him now? He’s facing the other way anyway. Just slip on some underwear quickly and get in bed.

As I too slipped under my blanket I heard, “Sleep well Owen, and try not to worry more tonight.”

“Thanks Nick. You sleep well too.”

The midterms went surprisingly well. If my focus did skew away from the proper subject it was on the recollections of what had happened the night before. Intentionally and aggressively shoving that to the deep recesses of my mind left a fair bit of clarity for my test taking. 

I avoided my dorm room the week after, afraid if Nick wanted to talk about what had happened or if he expected that we were in some kind of relationship now.

It felt fucking amazing though.

Yeah, but I could just do that to myself. Isn’t it FUCKING BIZARRE that he just jacked me off without so much as even asking permission!

He did ask, and you agreed.

Yeah after his hand was already in my pants!

His big strong hand, while his other was on your chest, and your back was pressed against his.

And now I have a fucking boner again. Who am I kidding? I can’t keep avoiding this. Alright, I’m going to go back to the room and if he brings it up we can talk, if not, then we won’t.

For better or worse, it didn’t come up. I had agreed with myself to just let it go, maybe it was just a cultural thing? Nick continued to be a quiet, polite, perfect roommate. Until a month later when he removed his shirt while I was in the room revealing a network of red scratches up the left side of his back.

“What the hell happened to you,” I asked.

“For biology 1 class we went to the forest to collect pond and river water samples,” Nick explained. “On the way back I tripped on the trail and fell in a bush with many thorns.”

“Oh that sucks,” I said, examining the reddened scratches. “You should have someone look at that.”

“I did. I have a small allergy. I need to put this medicine on one time every day,” he said, pulling some medicated lotion out of his bag.

Nick is normally a very heavy sleeper. If his broad chest didn’t heave so much when he breathed, I would have definitely mistaken him for a fresh corpse. Which was amazing because I am a light sleeper and am easily disturbed in the night.

However, the night after acquiring his plant-based injury, Nick slept like he was undergoing an exorcism, constantly turning and flipping his sheets and pillow around. I estimate I got about 3 hours of sleep broken into at least 5 short intervals. 

The next day I was noticeably drowsy and irritable. My classes were tolerable, though I kept nodding off, hoping the day would end, and I could just go back to bed. I chose to eat dinner alone as I was hardly in the mood to socialize with my normal dining hall companions, and as I left to walk back to my room I prayed that Nick wouldn’t be there so I could maybe get a few hours of sleep before he started his own fitful slumber.

Unfortunately, Nick was already in our room and was struggling to apply lotion onto the sleep-destroying scratches on his back. Fortunately, he was doing it naked from the waist up.

Easy now…

“Hey,” I grumbled.

“Hey,” Nick grunted, trying to reach around his own back.

“Scratches still bothering you?” I asked sharply.

“Yes, it is… irritating. Can you please help me put this on? My arms are sore from exercising at the gym today,” Nick asked.

“Uh… Sure,” I gulped.

Nick handed me the bottle then sat sideways on the futon where it happened. When I made no motion to get closer Nick turned and asked, “Do you prefer me to stand?”

“No, no, it’s fine,” I said, quickly sitting down behind him. I squirted some of the lotion into my hand and got to work. 

It was surprising how soft and smooth his skin was. I could clearly feel his muscles bulging beneath his pale flesh. The sensation of my hand sliding over his body started a familiar stirring.

Be cool, be cool. This isn’t going to be like last time. Sadly…

“That feels good,” Nick sighed.

“What!?” I asked abruptly, yanking my hand off his back.

“The lotion, it feels good. It has itch stopping medicine in it,” he explained with minor confusion.

“Oh, got it,” I laughed nervously as I gingerly returned my hand to his back. The affected area was rather large but I was nearly finished covering it all.

“You rubbing my back feels good too,” he added.

“Whoa, ok hold on,” I said, now taking a step back and standing. 

“What is wrong?” Nick asked now with major confusion. I tried to read his face for any seductive or malicious intent but he seemed genuinely and innocently concerned.

“It’s nothing,” I said. “I’m just tired. I didn’t sleep really well last night.”

“Did I keep you awake?”

I opened my mouth to respond but couldn’t put together a lie quickly enough.

“Owen, I’m sorry,” Nick said, his expression drooping. “I can sleep on here if you think it will be less noisy.”

“No, don’t worry about it. I know you’re in a lot more pain than me. I can get a bit irritable when I’m tired and I was hoping to get to bed early in case you needed to get up in the middle of the night.”

“Come sit down,” he said, patting the spot next to him.

I obliged, closed my eyes, and released a tired sigh.

“You seem stressed again,” Nick observed.

Wait, what?

“I should help you to relax,” he said softly.

Oh god it’s happening again!

“Nick, you don’t- You don’t need to do what you did at midterms,” I blubbered. “I mean- I really liked what you did, but I don’t want you to think that you need to do that to me. Unless- I mean- If you-”

“Did you not like what I did the time before?” he asked, tilting his head slightly.

Oh don’t do that. Don’t do a cute little fucking head tilt when I’m already fighting this boner.

“I did,” I admitted. “But I don’t want you to feel like you need to do it again.”

“Ah, that is not a problem,” he said with a smile. “I know something better to do.”

Nick pressed my shoulder gently back into the seat. I didn’t resist. With his other hand he unbuttoned my jeans. I still didn’t resist. Fluidly Nick pulled down my zipper and placed his palm on the thin fabric of my underwear separating him from my swelling dick.

“Nick,” I said abruptly, grabbing his arm.

“Yes?” he asked.

I didn’t or couldn’t say anything.

“Do you want me to stop?”

I shook my head and let a small nervous grin fracture across my cheeks. Nick responded with a smile before using both hands to pull my pants down to my ankles. The feeling of the cool air on my thighs caused goose bumps to break out on my legs.

Nick replaced his hand on the very obvious outline of my dick that had formed in my lap.

“You are always very excited,” he said with a smirk.

“I uh-,” but before I could finish Nick shifted off the seat and tucked the fingers of both hands into the waistband of my underwear. As he knelt in front of me he pulled my underwear down my legs taking my stiffened manhood with it until the point they descended low enough past the head of my dick causing it to spring back hitting my stomach with a soft ‘thwack’.

I giggled nervously. Nick had already become very tactilely familiar with my genitals but with my most intimate parts exposed like this in front of him in plain sight I became suddenly self conscious. I always thought I was on the larger side, but I really didn’t have much reference material to draw from.

He’s such a big guy, what if he thinks I’m small? How big is he down there? I’m not small. But what if he thinks I am. He doesn’t think that. He said that whole ‘you’re a big boy, if you’re not careful you’re going to be a dad’. Who says that? Hopefully someone who thinks you have a big dick? Am I big? Why am I so nervous? You’ve done this before. But not with another guy. Oh fuck he’s looking at me!

By now my underwear had joined my pants around my ankles. Nick was looking up at me expectantly as he gently spread my knees apart. He nodded. I nodded, unsure of what exactly we were silently agreeing to.

Nick wrapped his fingers around my shaft and pointed the head of my dick towards his mouth. He pushed his tongue out just past his bottom lip and lowered his head for it to meet the underside of my dick just below the tip. His tongue was so soft it felt like it wasn’t even really there, just a warmth that combined with his hot breaths that were passing over my dick.

Oh my god. No way. This can’t be happening.

Nick slid the tip of his tongue down the underside of my shaft letting the head of my dick enter his mouth. I just barely felt my tip press into the roof of his mouth before Nick closed his lips around my cock just above his grip on me. 

Up until this point I had a familiarity with all of these actions. I hate to admit it, but given my past experience I was now expecting to get raked by Nick’s teeth like I had been oh-so-many times in the past. However, as Nick began bobbing his head up and down in my lap the only thing I felt was the soft tender warmth of his mouth, and the velvety smoothness of his tongue. 

I released an involuntary moan, the sound reminding me that there was more that existed than the sensation between my legs. Nick pulled his head back leaving just the tip of my dick balanced on his tongue. His eyes flicked up to me and after dumbly returning the stare for a few seconds I smiled and brushed the side of his head with my fingers, enjoying the prickle of his short buzzed hair.

Maintaining eye contact Nick began slowly taking my cock into his mouth again. The sensation of the cool air on my shaft slowly vanishing under the warm embrace of Nick’s mouth caused me to arch my back as a familiar tingle progressed up it. Deep inside me I could feel a pressure building that was threatening to leak out.

Oh fuck. Not yet. He only just started. You don’t want to look like a premature ejaculator. He probably doesn’t even want you to cum in his mouth. Ahhhhh, but it feels so good…

Before Nick could get all the way down to the base I felt him gag and cough a bit as the head of my dick again touched the back of his throat.

“S-sorry,” I murmured.

Nick responded with a sharp exhale from his nose and I could feel his mouth twist into a grin around my dick. He reached up and patted my chest, the additional contact forcing that mounting pressure even closer to the surface.

That’s what’s going to get you off? A pat on the chest? What the hell is wrong with you?

As Nick brought his head back up and down once more I knew that I was near the breaking point. 

“Nick, I think I’m going to cum,” I warned.

Nick responded by rubbing my chest with his hand in a small circle and increasing the vigor of his sucking.

Does he want me to blow my load in his mouth!?

“Nick, I’m serious. If you don’t stop I’m going to-”

I didn’t get to finish that thought. Instead an involuntary cry rose from deep in my chest and out my mouth as I began pouring my seed into Nick’s. With each gush of cum that passed from me, my body spasmed, my toes curled, my fingers clamped the edge of the futon like a vice grip. Combined with the wetness of Nick’s mouth it was impossible to tell where the fluid shared between us started with me or ended with him. As I felt like everything inside of me was draining out of my dick, I realized I was moaning loudly and continuously. I pressed my hand over my mouth and let the groans die in my throat. By the time my auditory expulsion was under control the expulsion from my cock had subsided and with one last wet pull Nick released me from his oral grip, noticeably swallowed, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“You always make a lot,” Nick said as he stood.

“What…?” I gasped. 

In response Nick pantomimed ejaculating by holding his hand to his crotch and flaring his fingers out.

“Oh, yeah,” I murmured as I tried to blink away my blurred vision to get a better view of Nick’s groin.

Does he have a boner now? Is he excited at all? His damn pants are too dark and loose. I can’t tell.

“I’ll be back,” Nick chuckled as he turned to leave the room.

“Wait,” I blurted out. Nick turned back to me, eyebrow raised. I opened my mouth to say something but the words weren’t there.

Come on stupid, fucking say something. Don’t just let him leave without… I don’t know… reciprocating somehow? I don’t think I could do all that. I’ve never done anything like that before. But I should do something. It felt SO good and he really is SO cute. Oh Christ, listen to me. One blowjob and now I have all these… feelings. What do I do!? What should I say!?

“Thanks,” I said with a weak smile.

‘THANKS’!? That’s the fucking best you can do!? 

Nick smiled, winked, and left the room.

What the fuck was that wink all about? Why is he trying to be so cute? Why do I think he’s cute? Oh god what is wrong with me? He probably thinks I’m some bastard who is totally fine sexually using his roommate. He started it though! I’m innocent in all of this! Why do I have this urge to do to him what he’s done to me? Why do I care so much about what he thinks! WHY WOULD HE SUDDENLY GIVE ME THE BEST BLOWJOB OF MY LIFE!? College is supposed to be about sexual discovery not sexual confusion!

I groaned and pressed my palms against my eyes. Nick had to have gone to the bathroom and I didn’t want to make it seem like I was following him after… that. But it was the one stop I had to make before bed and I couldn’t let this awkwardness fester.

I’m just going to go shower and brush my teeth. If he’s in there, that’s fine. Nothing wrong with that.

As I walked down the hall to the communal bathroom with towel and toothbrush in hand, I began to doubt Nick was in there. He didn’t say where he was going or what he was doing. However, when he opened the door to leave as I was reaching for the handle to enter I realized that was a stupid thought.

“Oh, uh, hey,” I stuttered.

“A shower before sleep?” he asked, making room for me to pass.

Yeah, you want to join me? Oh fucking fuck. Why was that my first thought?

“Yeah,” I said nervously.

“Hopefully now you will sleep better tonight,” he said with a smirk. “I will try to make less noise.”

“Oh no that’s fine, you’ve done a lot. I mean, you’ve been very… Uh… You’ve made me feel really good and really tired,” I explained.

Noticing that I had made no move to enter the bathroom Nick slid past me while gently pushing me in. The feeling of his palm on my shoulder immediately brought back the sensory memories of just a few moments ago.

“That is good. Goodnight Owen,” Nick said before turning away to head towards our room.

“Goodnight Nick.”

I found myself again standing motionless in one of the shower stalls contemplating the past couple of encounters with Nick as warm water rained over me. I hadn’t experienced deja vu quite like this before.

This doesn’t make any sense. Why would someone as burly and masculine as Nick do those sorts of things to me? I would have expected someone more… feminine, submissive? I guess it’s not as simple as that. It’s definitely not as simple as that. What am I going to do? What should I do? Do I want a relationship with Nick? Are we just going to be fuck buddies? We haven’t had SEX sex yet, I guess blowjob buddies? Should I return the favor? I don’t know if I’d be any good at that. Maybe we shouldn’t be roommates. Maybe this is too complicated. I do like him though. I don’t know if I like him like THAT, but I really like what he does to me, it does feel really good. Just keep doing what you’re doing and take it from there. Nick seems like a VERY direct guy, if he wants something I’m sure he’ll ask.

That night I watched as Nick turned in his bed still flabbergasted that he was the person I had the most sexual contact with since starting college. His muffled twisting under his sheets was now comforting in a way, and as it often does, sleep took me without my realization.

I saw very little of Nick in the last four weeks of the semester. Our classes had never lined up well, but now with preparation for finals and my absence over thanksgiving break, we saw even less of each other. Well, we saw very little of each other while awake. Typically Nick or I would return to the room less than a half hour before the other went to sleep. It felt wrong to exchange light pleasantries and casual ‘good nights’ but I didn’t know if I should acknowledge what had passed between us and Nick made no hint at it either.

I realized I needed to do something a little over a week before finals when I was once again afforded some time alone in our room to try jacking off to some good old-fashioned internet porn, that did not include my roommate.

As usual I was struggling to find a video that was really doing it for me. So, I began fantasizing as I mindlessly scrolled, my thoughts shifted to Nick and the things we had done. I very consciously pulled my thoughts away from those memories and focused on the gang bang playing out on the screen in front of me. My eyes stayed fixed on the screen but again my mind crept back to Nick. Before I could refocus on the video in front of me I felt the pangs of near ejaculation tensing in my gut. I released the grip I had on myself and took a few deep breaths to regain control of the situation. 

Not Nick. Not Nick. Not Nick. Think of something else. Think about girls!

With eyes still closed I wrapped my fingers around my shaft again. A bit of pre-cum had leaked out and now collected on my grip. The warm wet feeling reminded me of Nick’s mouth on me and the image of him looking up at me with my dick deep in his throat flooded my mind’s eye. With just one downward stroke the tension building inside of me snapped and hot cum began pouring over my cupped hand. I bit my lip as I released my load over my fingers and onto my chair, partly to stifle any moans but also in frustration that my arousal was dominated by the one person I was trying so hard to not get hung up on.

Something had to be done. But I didn’t know what or how.

The next evening, a Friday, I was invited to drink with some of the friends I made in my economics classes. I thought it would be a great distraction from Nick and so I enthusiastically welcomed the opportunity to be somewhere besides my own room on the weekend. 

Since we were all between the ages of 18 and 19 we had to settle with drinking cheap vodka and rum mixed with coke and sprite in Ben’s dorm room. But it was fun, and the novelty of drinking was still very exciting. The only slightly tense moment was when Evan began talking about a girl he was seeing and how she was a ‘total freak’. This prompted Ben to recall all he had done with a girl he had just broken up with and Mitch to admit he hadn’t gotten any action since school started. I took a little too long to offer up my response but eventually said that I too had been unsuccessful so far. 

Our little party was unfortunately cut short when Evan began vomiting in Ben’s trash can which completely killed the vibe. We were all feeling the alcohol to some degree and I felt it would be best to just return to my room and go to sleep.

On the walk back I wondered if Nick would be in.

Most likely, he’s very studious and not particularly social. It is getting close to finals. I’m sure he’s already asleep, getting up early to study or some other shit.

As I fumbled through the door into my dorm building I allowed myself to think about the real issue at hand.

He better not try something on me while I’m buzzed like this. Oh who the fuck am I kidding? He BETTER try something on me while I’m buzzed like this. No, who the hell is he to decide when he gets to fuck with me. Well, we haven’t fucked exactly. Maybe I should try something on him. Maybe I should fuck him. Nah… Why do I feel like that’s an awful idea? Fucking jerk, doing all that and making me feel this way. I’m going to get to the bottom of this, gotta stop being a little bitch and confront this like a man.

At the end of my pep-talk bordering on diatribe I found that I had reached the door to my room. I took a deep breath and let myself in. Nick was there. Of course. Sitting at his desk looking all innocent.

“Hey,” I mumbled, trying to hide my inebriation. “What are you up to?”

“I finished the video call with my friend from home. I told you yesterday. You said you would be at your friend’s room so it was ok,” Nick explained.

Oh fuck that’s right.

“Oh right. Sorry I forgot,” I said.

“It is ok,” Nick replied with a slight smile. I replied by standing awkwardly a few feet away looking at him trying to think of how to confront the elephant in the room. But, like always, I was at a loss for words.

“Are you well?” Nick asked with some concern. “I did not think you would return until later.”

“I’m a bit frustrated,” I said, deciding not to mention the vomit episode.

“What is wrong?” Nick asked, tilting his head in that way I had grown oh-so-accustomed to.

“That,” I scoffed, flopping down onto the futon that had been the site of all of this frustration.

“That what?”

“Us. This. What are we?”

“University students?” Nick guessed after a pause.

“What I mean is,” I said, rubbing my eyes. “Why did you… Why did you do all those… nice things to me?”

“Nice things?”

“Yeah!”

“Do you mean… touching you… there?” Nick asked as he gestured to my groin.

“Yes,” I said bluntly.

Nick looked away sheepishly. 

“I thought that you liked it,” he murmured.

“I did. I do. I’m just not sure how to feel about it,” I explained. “I want… to do more, but I feel like these things keep coming up so casually and by surprise to me. And then in between it’s like we are just regular roommates.”

“We are regular roommates,” Nick said as he stood up and moved towards me.

“I don’t think regular roommates do sexual things together,” I said.

“You said you want to do more?” Nick asked slyly as he sat next to me. It was obvious to me now what he was starting. I didn’t want to stop him, but I wanted to actually come to an understanding about all of this first.

“Well… yeah,” I said just before Nick placed his hand on my chest. 

“Then I think that you should lay down,” Nick said softly as he pushed me onto my back. 

My brain was telling me to resist but my swelling dick said to comply. With a fair bit of alcohol in my blood and the fact that it was rapidly flowing from the head on my shoulders to the head between my legs meant I followed Nick’s orders.

“I just want it to be clear on what we are,” I said as Nick grasped the button of my jeans.

“We are roommates. We are friends. Friends do nice things for each other. Can I?” Nick asked motioning to my crotch where I was developing a rather visible bulge.

“Uh yeah,” I said as I processed Nick’s response. “So we’re just friends?”

“Do you want to be friends?” Nick asked as he unzipped my pants and pulled them down past my knees.

“I do. I just wanted to see how you felt about it,” I explained.

Once Nick got my pants over and off my feet he began slowly pulling down my underwear. Even though we had done this twice before, that nervous thrill bubbled up inside of me as my dick was revealed in front of him.

“You are always so excited,” Nick laughed as he ran a finger down the underside of my stiff shaft.

Once the pleasant shiver had run up my body I found my voice and said, “The things that you do excite me. But they always come as a surprise. I think we should maybe try doing this all less… I don’t know… casually?”

As I explained Nick got something out of his desk and returned to my spot on the futon. I didn’t think he was going to acknowledge my request as he placed each knee on either side of my chest and knelt over me. From this close and for the first time I could see the distinct outline of Nick’s cock in his sweatpants. 

I obviously knew that, as a male, he too had a penis. But in our previous interactions it hadn’t made an appearance. From this position I thought he was going to take it out and try forcing it in my mouth as I laid there. The notion both scared and excited me.

Instead I noticed that Nick had pulled the back of his pants down and seemed to be rubbing his backside.

“I like a surprise,” Nick said seductively.

“What? Oh, about the sex stuff,” I recalled. “Yeah I think maybe we should go about all of this a little differently.”

“Like this?” Nick asked as he reached around to point my very hard dick towards the ceiling.

Before I could even ask what he meant, Nick lowered his body and I felt the head of my cock press against his moist hole.

I guess that was lube that he got from his desk.

“Uh… Wait Nick. We don’t have to do this,” I said, barely able to find my voice.

“You don’t want to do this?” Nick asked, looking down at me.

I stared back up at him for a moment before answering. Stared into his shining dark eyes. I was searching for something within them, within him to tell me not to do this. But as I gazed up at him I didn’t find anything to give me pause. 

“I want to. I want to,” I whispered.

“Good. Me too,” Nick replied grinning.

I felt Nick’s weight shift and the tip of my dick press harder against him. It didn’t seem like it was going to work and the pressure against me was getting uncomfortable. I opened my mouth to say something but before I could make a noise I felt the head of my dick penetrate Nick’s soft warm hole. 

Nick let a sharp breath out from his nose and I laid there mouth wide open like a dead fish. I desperately yearned for him to lower his body more, to let me deeper inside of him. But he stayed still taking in deep breaths. 

“Sorry,” he finally said. “You’re big and this is my first time like this.”

For fuck’s sake Nick, keep talking like that and my penis might literally explode.

“It’s ok,” I whispered. “Take your time.”

I placed my hand on his side just above his hip. Nick took his free hand (the one not guiding my cock into his asshole) and placed it on top of mine.

“You’re a sweet boy,” he said, smiling down at me.

Oh god, I’m going to fucking lose it and I’m only 2 inches deep in him.

Nick audibly let out another breath and sank lower onto me. As more and more of my shaft slowly passed inside of him I let a soft low moan out from deep within me. The tight warmth of Nick’s insides felt like they were already pulling the cum out of me before I had even completely entered. 

I can’t cum now. Not this soon. I still want more of this.

Finally (and luckily) I felt the meat of Nick’s ass cheeks press against my thighs. I had very little spatial awareness of my body at that point. It felt like I was so deep into Nick that I was brushing against his stomach. My cock throbbed, threatening to inject Nick with a healthy dose of my seed. 

I laid there in panicked silence hoping that he wouldn’t move and stimulate me any more.

“Sorry, one second. You are… a lot,” Nick grunted, eyes tightly shut.

Oh thank Jesus.

“It’s fine. I…” I started to say.

Just tell him, he’s clearly putting in the effort. The least you can do is be honest about your body.

“I’m actually kind of close to cumming,” I admitted. “So it’s probably good to stay still for a moment.”

Nick’s expression softened a bit at this, but I felt like I owed him more.

“You feel really good,”  I said softly.

Nick’s eyelids parted slightly and he peered down at me. He slowly took the hand that he used to guide me into him and ran his fingers through my hair. I could feel a slight wetness from the lubricant on his hand, but in that moment I couldn’t find a fuck to give about it.

We stayed like that for a moment. Still. Letting our bodies adjust to one another’s. After about a minute had passed Nick slid his hand down the side of my head until his fingers were on the back of my neck and his thumb rested on the side of my cheek.

“Ready?” he asked softly.

“Yeah,” I replied. I wasn’t entirely sure if I was, but I really didn’t want to wait anymore.

Slowly Nick began lifting himself off of me. The inverse of me entering him felt equally amazing. With the lurking fear of cumming too soon, I decided it was best to keep still and let Nick control the situation. I really didn’t have much choice, with his hulking mass over me I was practically pinned down to the futon and the only realistic way out would be to snap my penis off.

Stop making yourself anxious. You don’t have any reason to worry. Just relax and enjoy. He is.

Nick had closed his eyes again but not in a grimace like before. His face was frozen in an opened mouth half grin half gasp and I could hear his slow deep breaths as he rhythmically thrusted my manhood deep inside of himself. 

It felt quite literally like Nick was trying to pull the cum out of me. I suppose that’s what sex is after all. But the prospect made my mind swim and my body tense. 

Does he want me to cum inside of him?

The way he’s moving his body makes it at least seem so. The way he’s thrusting against me, forcing my cock up inside of him, is pretty obvious. I know that he wants me to.

I’m going to cum soon. I’m going to cum TOO soon.

I don’t care. I don’t want him to stop. I don’t want him to slow down. I just want this. I’ve never felt anything as amazing as this before. I don’t want it to end, but I want to truly experience this feeling building inside of me as I lose myself inside of him.

I guess I’ve done it. The sexual liberation I craved when I started the semester. I’m fucking another guy. A muscular, attractive guy who wants this just as much, if not more than I do.

Nick’s pace had increased both in speed and vigor and I could hear the muffled thwack of his ass cheeks striking my thighs as he pressed himself onto me. Each of his breaths were forming into soft grunts. His grip tightened on the back of my neck. I reached up under his shirt and gripped his thick muscular waist. 

Since Nick had only pulled the seat of his pants down, and with the position he was currently in, his dick was concealed. But I imagined it, thick and hard, bouncing in its fabric prison. I wanted to touch it, hold it as he rode me, but that was sadly impossible. 

Nick tilted his head and looked down at me again. I was likely beguiled by the physical pleasure he was inflicting on me but in that moment, as our eyes met, I realized I had never been more connected with another person than I was in that moment.

The mounting feeling was nearing its peak. I could feel my balls tense as the load within me threatened to spill out.

“Nick!” I gasped as I tightened my hold on his firm trunk.

In response Nick smirked, clearly understanding as he completely dropped his body onto me with all of his weight. The force caused me to explode inside of him. At first I would have compared it to a firecracker but with each beat of my heart I could feel another surge violently erupt from my cock, flooding Nick’s insides. I couldn’t say at what point my moan morphed into a scream but after feeling like I had emptied an entire pint of my seed into Nick, I realized there were other people in the building and they likely could hear me.

Fuck it. I don’t care. I’m not sure I’m going to be able to walk again after this. But god damn, it was worth it.

After unrolling my eyes from the back of my head I met Nick’s gaze again. His warm grin sent my already swirling mind into a complete tailspin.

“Did you enjoy?” Nick asked softly rubbing the side of my head with his thumb.

“Yes. Yes. It was amazing,” I panted. 

Once I caught enough of my breath to form a complete sentence I said, “Nick, I think I-”

BAM! BAM! BAM!

Nick quickly sprang off me my dick violently becoming unsheathed from him causing my body to spasm and a small spurt of cum to eject onto my stomach.

“Cover your body,” Nick whisper-yelled as he threw a blanket over me.

I caught a brief glimpse of Nick’s round pale butt before he yanked up the back of his pants and cautiously stepped toward the door.

Finally, I got to see something. And it looks just as good as it felt.

 “What’s going on in here? Are you ok?” I heard our RA say after Nick opened the door. 

“Oh we are fine,” Nick said. “My roommate has had some drinks and he hit the toe on the bed. What do you call it?”

“What? Do you mean he stubbed his toe? Also you’re not supposed to drink in your room if you’re under-aged. Are you two drinking?” the RA asked with some confusion.

“No drinking here. Yes, he stabbed his toe,” Nick said jovially. “I told him to be quiet and not be queen of drama.”

“You mean a ‘drama queen’? And wait, did you say stabbed?” the RA asked with even more confusion. 

“We are sorry for the noise,” Nick said, ignoring the question. “I will make sure he gets into his bed with safety and that there is no more yelling.”

Nick began to close the door. But the RA (sorry I never could remember his name) put his hand on the door frame to stop the shutting and asked me, “Are you sure you’re alright in there?”

“I just hit my toe. I didn’t realize how loud I yelled. Sorry,” I explained from within my blanket sanctuary.

“Be careful now. You don’t want to get your fingers stabbed in the door,” Nick warned as he delicately pulled the RA’s hand from the door frame.

“It’s stuh-UH-buh-duh,” the RA enunciated before the door closed in his face.

I withheld my laugh until I thought the RA had moved away from the door, but once Nick turned around and looked at me with a defeated and embarrassed look I lost it and burst into laughter.

Nick sheepishly stepped towards me and sat next to me.

“Good cover,” I chuckled.

“Sorry, I panicked and my English is bad when I feel panic,” he explained.

“Don’t worry, you did great,” I said, patting him on the thigh.

The more I laughed the dizzier I began to feel and I remembered I was actually rather drunk. I let my head fall back with eyes closed and said, “I don’t feel so good. I think all that drinking is catching up with me. Is it ok if I sleep here?”

“That is ok. You do not need my approval,” Nick said with a small laugh.

Nick tussled my hair and got up off the futon. The last thing I remember before passing out was watching Nick grab his toothbrush and towel before leaving the room and feeling disappointed he hadn’t undressed before exiting.

The next morning I awoke with surprising clarity, able to recall all the specific details from the night before. I could feel my grin threatening to snap my jaw off as the moments replayed in my mind’s eye. But as I went back far enough to remember how the encounter started the pleasure quickly faded.

“Damnit Nick!” I yelled as I got up from the futon.

I saw Nick throw his arms up defensively from within his bed launching the sheet off of himself.

“What!? What!? What!?” Nick yelled in a panic.

“Sorry! Sorry!,” I said, making a placating gesture with my hands. “It’s just last night before we… did that stuff. I meant to talk to you about our relationship, but then you interrupted me by… having sex with me. And that’s exactly the kind of thing that we need to talk about!”

Obviously irritated with the reasoning for his awakening, Nick flopped himself back onto his bed and let out a long sigh.

I know. But we really do need to talk about this.