“What was that?” I finally summoned up the courage to say something. “What the hell was that?”

“I don’t know,” Dave replied. His eyes shut for a second; I saw tears start to stream down his face. “I don’t know.”

“Don’t cry.”

“I’ve loved you for years. I know you’re not gay. I’m sorry. I’m just stupid.”

“You’re not stupid.”

“Yes I am. I just ruined our friendship. It will never be the same.” He started crying louder. “I’m so sorry.”

“You didn’t ruin our friendship.” He finally looked at me. “If our friendship was ruined by one kiss, was it that great of a friendship? No. We were, are, and always will be friends. Nothing can change that.”

“But I can’t just be your friend. After that, I know I cannot be your friend. I can’t love you and know that you will never love me back! I can’t just wait on the sidelines while you create your life with some woman! I can’t just watch you raise children with her! I love you so much, that being friends with you would kill me!” Brett and Phil stepped outside the room and asked what was going on. “Nothing. I was just going.” With that, Dave got off the couch and ran out of our apartment.

“Isn’t that your best friend,” Phil inquired.

“Yes,” I responded

“Then get off your ass and be with him.”

“I’m not gay. He’s right. I can’t put him through a friendship that would kill him.”

“I’m not asking you to be gay. Make a new friendship that won’t kill him or break it off in a better way. You talk to him and get your shit together. Friends don’t just let go of each other.”

“Go!” I got up and sprinted out the door. I found him sitting right outside the complex. I sat next to him.

“I’ll try.”

“You’ll try what,” Dave asked. I turned his face toward mine and kissed him.

“I’ll try.”

He smiled at me and said, “I don’t want you to be something you aren’t.”

“I won’t, but how do I know I’m not gay if I don’t try. Also, both you and I need to know if this would work out. Let me walk you home.” And with that, we began my first homosexual relationship.


“Go!” Phil looked so hot when he yelled. The door closed behind Josh, and I grabbed Phil by the waist.

“Okay tough guy. Time for bed.”

“But I don’t wanna,” Phil whined.

“Now!” Phil picked me up into his arms and carried me to our room. “You have GOT to stop doing that.”

“I just can’t help myself! You’re so cute when you yell.”

“Well, I can’t sleep after all that commotion.”

“You know what people do when they can’t sleep, right?”


“Well, yeah. But let me give you a hint.” He reached into the nightstand and brought out a bottle of lube. He turned me over, pulled down my night-pants, applied the lube to his finger and began to rub my anus. “Got a clue yet?”

“No not yet. Keep going. I might get it.” He stuck one finger in. “I’m getting closer.” He stuck a second finger in. “I’m getting so close.” He stuck a third finger in. “I’m getting closer, but I think I need a bigger clue.” With that, Phil withdrew his fingers and placed his cock at my entrance.

“Beg for it.”

“Please, satisfy me with your dick. I need your warm cum to fill my insides and spill out onto my legs. I need your cock in me now!” He started pushing in until he filled my cavity. He held his dick there and began kissing my neck. He pulled out and pushed in. I felt this big tingling. “Don’t stop!!” He kept banging against that spot. I felt his penis get harder and then a burst of cum spilled into my ass. He pulled out and ate my ass out. I felt the cum leaving my ass and came on the sheets. Phil swallowed the cum from my ass and the cum on the sheets. “You didn’t save me anything?”

“I did all the work!”

“You think it’s easy having this giant mass laying on top of you?”


“Fine. G’night.”

“Wait baby.”

“Nope. You’ve said your piece. Good. Night.”

“I can see the gears turning in your head.”

“What you should be seeing are the insides of your eyelids.” We both laughed and drifted off to sleep.


“When did you find out you were gay,” I asked. I hated that dreadful silence that plagued us for a good portion of the walk back.

“Remember the first day of football practice,” Dave inquired.



“So when you told me about all the girls…”

“Oh, those weren’t lies. I was with every single one of them.”


“The thing is, those girls are attractive. They’re nice. But, at the risk of sounding cheesy, I’m only gay for you.”

“Just because it’s cheesy doesn’t make it any less flattering. When did you start liking me?”

“On the first day of preschool—“


“Let me finish! On the first day of preschool, I walked into the room with my mom and said that I didn’t want to be there. I had my temper-tantrum ready, but then this kid walked into the room. He came up to me and asked where I got my Power Rangers action figures. No one else ever talked to me. That day, I came home and told my parents, ‘Mom. Dad. I fell in love.’ They asked with whom. ‘This boy named Josh!’ I replied. I talked about you endlessly. I let that go when I found out being gay was ‘immoral’, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I went into the sixth grade thinking I was over it when I saw you with Sheila.”

“Oh Sheila…”

“Yeah, that bitch took you from me!” We both laughed for a second. “I was so jealous that I made it my personal mission to ruin her life! I taped a picture of her eating a booger on her locker—“

“That was you!?”

“Yep. I found her notebook and threw away all of her homework. I even resorted to tripping her a couple times.”

“You liked me that much?” We paused for a second. “What about the times I asked you to be my wingman?”

“I was trying to be a real friend. I tried to make you happy any way I knew how. It was killing me.”

“Welp, we’re here.”

“You know you didn’t have to walk me home.”

“I know I didn’t have to. I hoped I wouldn’t have to walk back.”

“Did you want to stay the night? My roommate is staying at a friend’s tonight.”

“Why sure.” With that, we walked into his dorm room. “These things ARE small.”

“Oh, my roommate might not want you to sleep on his bed.”

“That’s fine. Could we sleep in your bed? We did it all the time as kids?”

“Sure. I sleep naked.”

“Me too.” We both undressed and got under his sheets. I spooned him. He kept moving and it caused my dick to get hard. It started to poke him in the back. He slipped out of my arms and told me to get out of the bed and just stand there. I did as I was told. He got out of the bed and went to his knees. I engulfed my length down his throat immediately. He lifted my dick and started sucking my balls. Then he licked from my balls to the underside of my cockhead. He proceeded to tease my cockhead until I couldn’t take it anymore. “I’m gonna cum!” I came more than I ever had in my lifetime. I lifted Dave up and kissed him. I tasted my own cum. Just then my dad called. “Hello?”

“Hey! Joshy-boy. I was just callin’ to let you know that my meeting in Zurich is cancelled, so I thought I might pay my son a visit on Friday. How-a-bout it, son?”

“Sure, that’ll be great Dad.”

“Wonderful. I’ll give the help that day off.”

“Tell Beth and Louise ‘hi’ for me.”

“Sure. I’ll talk to you later. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Goodbye.”

“Who are Beth and Louise?”

“My maids.”


“Honey, wake up. School starts today.” How Phil maintains his morning perkiness, I don’t know.


“You signed up for the 8:00am class. Blame yourself!”

“I know. I know.”

As I neared the Economics building I saw people leaving with disgusted looks on their faces.

I asked a random student what was wrong.

“Mr. Rodgers made it VERY clear that the only way to pass his class is to suck his fucking

dick. I’m on my way to my councilor’s office to change classes.”

I walked into the class and saw the sleaziest character I’d ever seen in my life. His hair black slicked-back hair doubled with his overuse of Axe body spray just oozed “sleaze ball”. We all took our seats and awaited instruction.

“Okay class. It’s been said that this is one of the hardest classes on the campus of Berkeley. There just a couple of things you can do to pass it. You could study very hard and hope to pass all of your quizzes and tests. Or… you could have a personal meeting with me either at my office or my house.” He adjusted his junk. He also paused after any sexual innuendo. “Well let’s jump right in. We can see that the inflation…of Rome’s economy erupted…an emboldened attitude in the government.” He groped his junk again. “They dominated…the other countries that were expected to submit…and they helped engorge…the economies of the other with which they traded.” At that point I just walked out of the classroom and headed straight for my councilor. Once there, I saw a line that extended around the building. I waited for an hour until I finally got to the front of the line.

“Hello, may I help you,” the reception asked.

“Hi. I was wondering if I could—”

“Drop your Economics class?”


“Let me check. There’s actually a problem with that. One of your grants requires that you have an Economics class this year, and all of the other Economics classes are full.”

“So I can’t transfer?”

“I’m afraid not. Sorry hun.”

“It’s not your fault. Thank you.”

I went home and found Phil sitting on the couch. “Did you hear about the Economics teacher?”

“Yeah. I had an idea on how can take care of him.”




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