Manly Funk

One Wednesday evening, as I was sitting at the bar in a coastal city that renowned for its humidity, I was enjoying the balmy atmosphere as I sipped on a beer. I was very happy that a colleague had recommended this ‘arty’ area to me.

The guest lodge I was staying in was charming, and all the shops and restaurants in Roper Road, as the area was referred to, had a lovely vibe. Of course, of special interest to me was the gay flag that I had observed hanging from the first floor of one of buildings when I perused the area, after booking into the guest house.

After I relaxed in my room after a day’s work before showering, I next made my way to a Thai restaurant I had seen. Thereafter, at around eight-thirty, I finally found myself seated at the bar where I had observed the gay flag earlier.

The pub was on the first floor above a gift shop. Upon entering, there was a room with two pool tables. Beyond that, one moved through to the bar area, which had a narrow L shaped counter. To the left of this space there was another room with a dance floor. After I sat at the end of the long counter where it branched at a ninety degree angle, with only two bar stools diagonally across from me to my right, to my left there were a dozen or so bar stools.

As I sat there, five guys were bantering at the far end of the counter to my left. One of the men was an outrageous queen in full cry, regaling his companions with his caustic wit. Apart from them, the only other two patrons were a duo I had observed playing pool as I entered. The chatty barman then informed me about the goings-on at the pub. The place was closed on Mondays. Tuesdays to Thursdays the bar was rather quiet, but on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday evenings, the place pumped, according to him.

After fifteen minutes my heart skipped a beat, when a guy entered and sat on the stool to my right. He was wearing a light blue t-shirt, black shorts, and slip-slops. The guy was tall, broad, ruggedly handsome, and very masculine. The reddish brown hair on the sides of his head was cut very short, and on top of his head the hair was far longer and slicked back. His beard and moustache were slightly darker than the other hair on his head, but also had a reddish tinge. For a moment, I thought that he was a straight guy who had inadvertently entered a gay place, but when he ordered his beer he seemed relaxed and so well-known to the barman, that I dispelled that thought.

Upon looking at his rough hands, I surmised that he did some or other manual labour. As I glanced at him I also saw two large damp patches under his arms, and shortly my nostrils bristled as I smelt his very powerful body odour. I have always been a person who thrives on male funk and his aroma almost had me palpitating with lust. After a minute or two I decided to break the silence.

“Fuck, it’s really humid,” I said.

“Yeah, but I love the heat,” he replied. Then, after extending his large right hand he said, “My name’s Rob.”

“Hi, I’m Peter,” I replied, as I shook his calloused clammy hand.

“This seems like a nice place,” I proffered, making conversation.

“Yeah, I come here from time to time,” he answered nonchalantly, and then after a short pause he asked, “So what do you do, Pete?”

Without going into too much boring detail I gave him a brief summation, before responding, “And what do you do?”

“Have you been to the botanical gardens down the road?” he asked.

“No,” I replied.

“Well, I take care of the gardens there,” he answered.

“So, you’re a landscaper,” I replied.

“Nah, that term is too fancy for me. We have professional landscapers. I just do the donkey work,” he informed me.

“Do you live close by?” I asked.

“Yip, the wife and I have an apartment down the road,” he replied.

‘Oh fuck,’ I thought. ‘I knew this was too good to be true.’

Feeling totally deflated, I then gingerly asked, “Does… your wife know that you come here?”

“Sure, my wife and I are bisexual. Right now she’s at home fucking her arse off with a lesbian friend,” he replied, as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

A short pause followed before he continued, “We have an open relationship. The second bedroom in our apartment is the fuck room. That way, when she’s fucking with one of her girlfriends, or I have a fuck-buddy around, the other person is uses the main bed without any inconvenience.”

“Wow… that’s a pretty interesting arrangement,” I answered, gobsmacked.

“Well, it works for us,” he replied, matter-of-factly.

“So, what’s the hotel you are staying in like?” he asked after a brief respite.

“Lovely,” I replied.

“Cool,” he answered, “Then, maybe I can check it out when we get back to your room tonight,” he concluded with an impish grin.

If my heart had been beating fast up to this point, I now felt like I was about to have a heart attack.

“Listen, I was a little lazy when I got back home from work today and should have had a shower. Do you mind if I have a shower when we get to your place?” he asked.

“Actually… I’d prefer if you didn’t… I think you smell great,” I stammered.

With a broad smile he then said, “Oh, so you are a funk-bunny.” As he continued to snigger I just shrugged my shoulders.

“Well, bro, I’m all yours. You can sniff and lick me all you like.” Then, after another chuckle he added, “As long as I get to fuck your hole, it’s all good for me.”

“Would you like another beer?” I asked, blushing.

“Why not,” he answered, before concluding, “Then we can be on our way.”

As we sat there in silence, Rob gave me a horny grin. He then pushed his right hand in his shorts and appeared to fiddle with his dick. After extracting his hand he offered it to my nostrils.

“Let’s get you warmed up, dude. Take a whiff of my foreskin funk.” As I sniffed I almost fell off my stool with excitement.

“Lick,” he then ordered, before adding, “Taste my funk.”

I had to contain my excitement as never before, but as I licked his fingers I felt like grabbing his hand and shoving it down my throat. After retracting his hand he let out a low rumbling laugh.

“If you’re a good boy, I might even let you sniff my sweaty arse,” he concluded with an evil grin.

Thankfully, our beers were consumed quite quickly and soon we were on our way to the hotel.

In the room I offered him a beer from the bar fridge. Rob then surveyed the place, constantly nodding his approval. With his inspection complete, he then walked over to me after placing his beer on a table. Rob first pulled my shirt up over my head, before pulling his own t-shirt off. The hair under his arms was so wet, that it almost seemed pasted to his skin. Rob had a light dusting of hair on his chest that was lighter, and redder, than the hair on his head.

Next, after placing his thumbs into the side of my shorts, my pants and underpants were then pushed down before falling to the floor.

“Whoa… it looks like you’re ready for action, bro,” Rob said laughing, as he observed my erect cock.

After giving my knob a playful smack, Rob then kicked off his slip-slops before also dropping his shorts. He had a substantial forest of pubic hair, which surrounded a very pale and thick uncut dick. His knob had a very distinct right curved and nestled against the top of his right thigh. I was intrigued by his long foreskin that looked like a rumpled spout, overhanging the head of his cock.

As we embraced his hands clamped onto my butt and I now got a really good whiff of his body odour. It wasn’t a dirty smell, but just the ripe aroma of a hard working sweaty man. After kissing for a short while I felt his hands pushing down on my shoulders.

When I got to my knees I was rewarded by a heavenly crotch scent. As I sniffed contentedly, Rob gripped hold of his dick and began to retract his foreskin. Once the bright pink head was fully exposed a new bouquet of pungency tingled in my nostrils. I began to snort with delight as Rob smeared his dick-head on my upper lip. Shortly, Rob tilted my head upward, demanding entry into my mouth. With my head placed strategically placed to the left to accommodate the curve of his cock, my skull fucking got underway. Rob then prodded ever deeper into my throat as his hands clamped my head solidly and once we got a good rhythm going, I happily allowed him to escalate his thrusting.

“I’m going to cum in your mouth,” he said after a few minutes, before adding, “I hope you’re hungry, because I haven’t cum in two days,” Rob concluded.

After my mumbled acquiescence I could feel his body begin to stiffen, before I felt his spunk bubbling out of his foreskin. Rob had not lied and I had to swallow like mad to keep up with his overflow. Afterward, I gripped hold of his foreskin with both my thumbs and forefingers and pushed my tongue inside to scoop up the residue.

“Lie on your back,” I suggested, as I finally got to my feet. As he lay on the bed with his hands behind his head, I moved over his body. I was about to enjoy the treat my nose had yearned for all evening. With my dick mashing between his thighs my mouth zoomed in on the first of his pits. The smell and taste was totally delectable, and I lapped like the proverbial cat getting its cream. When I finally finished off with the first armpit, my lips hesitated above Rob’s mouth en-route to his second pit.

“Fuck,” he said giggling, “My stench smells good on you.”

Next, after a brief kiss I journeyed on. When I got going on his second armpit I could feel Rob’s cock stiffening again. With our crotches now involved in a sword fight, I could rapidly begin to feel my orgasm approaching.

“I’m getting close,” I announced, between licks.

“Cum in my crack,” Rob appealed. When I lifted up Rob quickly turned his body, before I sat on his thighs and frantically began jerking my knob. After cumming as he had requested, I smeared my dick in his crack.

“Now you going to have to clean my crack,” he announced with a naughty laugh.

When Rob had opened his legs my head moved in for its final funky treat. I had definitely kept the best for last because his sweaty butt almost blew my mind. The pungent aroma, enriched by the smell of spunk was simply heavenly. After daubing my nose in his playground of pong, I began to lap up his funk like puppy enjoying a plate of gravy. I could tell that Rob was becoming excited by the way his was rubbing his cock on the bedcover

“I want to fuck you right now,” he then grunted.

After lifting his body I slithered in under him and opened my legs. Rob immediately commenced pushing his knob into me before settling on top of me. He held still in me initially, to allow me time to adjust to his dick before his hips sprang to life.

At first, Rob slow-fucked me for several minutes prior to gradually quickening his pace. Although his thrusting wasn’t too manic initially, but when he really got going he began to thump and pump me like a man gone berserk. I was practically winded by the time he shot his load.

Afterward, Rob finished his beer before we got back on the bed. We were both rather tired and shortly fell asleep.

The following morning at five, I quietly went to the bathroom for a piss. Upon my return Rob was lying on his back with his hands behind his head. The smile on his face left me in no doubt about his requirements.

As I closed in on his first armpit I was pleased to find that he had developed another good funk during the night. Shortly, the second pit also followed. Rob then pushed me off him and onto my back, before lifting my legs in the air. After he instructed me to hold them back for him, Rob now pushed his thumb into my hole.

“Fuck, bro, you’re still well lubed,” he said. “Time for a refill,” he then concluded with a smile.

Rob steered his knob into me before hovering over me on outstretched arms. He fucked me leisurely for a long while, before picking up his pace. As his thrusts became more powerful I gasped and commenced plucking my knob. When Rob ultimately unloaded I was only moments behind and grunted as my cock sprayed its excitement all over my stomach.

When we finally got into the shower, he asked, “Do you mind if I piss in the shower?”

“Yes,” I replied, before giving him a naughty look and concluding, “Unless of course… you want to piss on me.”

Rob looked bemused as I got to my knees.

When his piss began to flow I was mesmerized by the spray from his wrinkled spout. I was doused from head to toe by a motherlode of golden sap. As the stream began to weaken I took hold of his dick and placed the snout between my lips.

Next, I pulled the foreskin back and gave his cock-head a good cleaning. Rob’s knob hardened rapidly as I did so and soon I was getting another skull-fucking me. Rob went a little crazy and I was sure that I would end up with a sore jaw that day. I didn’t give a fuck and after he finally came he pulled his dick out of my mouth, before stating, “Stay where you are.” My puzzlement, however, was quickly answered when another stream of hot piss now anointed me before we finally got to shower.

When we returned to the bedroom afterward, Rob surprised me by asking, “May I see you again when you visit in five weeks’ time?”

“Definitely,” I replied, enchanted by the look of relief on his face.

As he was finally about to depart after we had swapped telephone numbers, he looked and me and said, “When you visit next time, please phone me the day before… Then I’ll make sure I don’t shower the next morning.” 

We both had a good laugh.