Can't Fight the Feeling

Thursday at the end of my workday, I was feeling excited at seeing Bill again already. The wife was away with our son down with her parents for a vacation, and I was prepping to have Bill over to my place. Problem was he was getting too serious for me at this point in my life.

He wanted to run away together, and I wasn’t sure at first if he was serious. But the last time I saw him, as we lay in his bed together naked, he went on about his thoughts for the future, and how we should just pick up and move away from everyone, start over. He was used to this lifestyle, living with a man, being out. I was used to the living with a man part. But that was years ago. And I wasn’t ready to come out again. Not now. I wasn’t prepared to just up and leave everyone, including my son.

Bill was perfect for me in every sense – tall, built, sexy, and obviously in love with me. So why was I feeling so scared now? I had experienced this life with Joe. I had started to accept it, accept myself. But things were different now. Maybe I was afraid with Bill, it was going to end like it did with Joe.

“Knock, knock.” I heard a familiar deep voice say at my doorway. I looked up to see the electrician, Jeremy, all blonde and stocky, looking exceptionally sexy as hell, grinning at me as I stared ahead into space.

I actually widened my eyes and couldn’t resist smiling at the hunk. “Hey there…Jeremy right?”

He pursed his lips together and nodded. “You got it man. Good memory.”

“How could I forget?” I said without thinking, then caught myself and looked awkwardly down. Jeremy gave a little “huh” and shoved those big hands into his pockets, leaving his big thumbs hanging out for me to look at.

He was wearing the same outfit as before when I saw him earlier in the week: same blue tee, same rough looking blue pants, same work boots; same smirking grin. And I was still equally mesmerized by his build: same large biceps, same triceps sticking out as he flexed his arms straight, same flat stomach, same thick looking body.

“Glad you remembered.” His smile was blatant this time, just staring at me, my eyes glued to his hazel ones for some reason as my neurons fired in my head.

“You back again to fix something else already?”

He shrugged at my question. “Nah. I misplaced my little flashlight and I’ve been going back to some of my recent places to see if I can find it. You haven’t seen it have you?”

I gave it some pretend thought, playing his game. “No, but I haven’t been upstairs in the mechanical room that much.”

He laughed at this for some reason, showing off his perfectly straight teeth. Someone paid a lot of money for those when he was growing up. I let my eyes drift down his arms, noting the blonde hair on those thick forearms.

“Fair enough. Don’t suppose you’d want to go up with me to unlock that room so I can take a look?” His right eyebrow went up and he let his mouth form a questioning look, biting his bottom lip in anticipation of my answer. He was flirting. Big time.

And something made me smile back and nod. “Would love to Jeremy.”

He held a hand out and pointed his finger and thumb at me with a squint.

“Brian.” I said to his unanswered question.

“Right! Brian.” He held out his hand for a shake. “Thanks man, I really appreciate it.”

When I gripped his hand I was amazed at how soft it felt as he squeezed my hand tight. His hand was larger than mine, and his grip strong. But his hand seemed to cover mine like a warm blanket, and my heart flipped as he peered down at me.

“I guess I owe you one.” He said, holding my gaze as he let go.

“Don’t worry about it.”

He said nothing as I grabbed my keys and moved around him at the door. I felt his eyes on me as I heard him following behind me. And when I glanced behind me, he was definitely looking at my jock ass.

“So place seems pretty empty. Didn’t realize it was getting this late. I’m not keeping you am I?” His voice was quiet as he caught up to my steps, hands back in his pockets again.

“No actually. Wife and kid are away.”

“You got a kid? No way man! You don’t look old enough for that!”

I turned to him with that same look I give everyone when they comment like that. “I’m 30 actually.”

“No shit! You look way younger. Mind you I’m like 34 and not even married. Got a girl though, but just, you know, not ready for that shit yet.” He gave a sort of a giggle, as if he was amusing himself, then looked back over at me. “Still playing around if you know what I mean.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

There was a moment of silence as we went back upstairs to the room, and as I opened it up, I hesitated, feeling like I had been in this predicament not that long ago with him and now had a second chance to do something different. I held open the door and looked up at Jeremy, this blonde, blue collar hunk, smiling at me.

He seemed to read my thought at this moment, straightening his arms even more and making his triceps pop out. “You still get to play around, even though you’re married?” He was almost sheepish in his asking, swaying a bit as he stood there.

I waited a bit, remembering the feeling the last time we were standing in this very spot earlier this week. How I contemplated just following him in there. But it was my workplace and I wasn’t sure. Before I was thinking about Bill.

Bill – who was suddenly urging me to run away with him. Who was asking me to give up my life and take off. But now, I was thinking about Bill in a different way. Too needy suddenly. Too intense. And it was as if this was a chance to escape all that.

I cleared my throat and looked up at Jeremy. “Yeah, I do. If the feeling washes over me.” I met his gaze, held it, felt my heart thumping in my chest as the tension between us seemed to stifle the air in the hallway.

He scrunched up his bottom lip and looked down, nodding his head, lowering his eyes. “So, uh, is the feeling washing over you right now?” Those hazel eyes then looked up at me questioningly, his chin still near his chest, his forehead wrinkled in wonder.

I waited, feeling that sharp shock shoot through my stomach, feeling my cock shifting in my pants, and my insides started to turn upside down.

My eyes didn’t move away from his. “And if it was?”

Jeremy stood still for a moment, and then slowly, he moved forward, walking towards the door I was holding open for him. But when he went to pass by me, he stopped in front of me, very close in front of me. He turned his head down to my smaller height, and I breathed in deeply, smelling the manly scent of him.

“Then I think you should help me find my flashlight.” As he started into the mechanical room, his elbow purposefully brushed up against my chest as he slowly moved by me, his eyes locked on mine holding my stare. My cock swelled, and my eyes fell to his ass as it came into view, shaped nicely from the pull of his hands in his front pockets. Jeremy’s head was turned around almost backwards at me, as he strutted into the room and then gave a slight jerk of it as an indication for me to follow.

When he saw me following and heard the sound of the door closing behind us, his pace quickened and he stepped with more speed further into the room, stopping at the end of a boiler and turning to me to make sure I was coming in. When I got closer, he stepped sideways, beside two large and noisy machines, out of the sightline of the doorway.

When I got to the space he disappeared between, I saw him a few meters away, his back against the side wall, and his hand already pulling his meat out of his unzipped fly.

I inhaled deeply as it came into view, the thickening in his hand of his cut blonde dick, the small patch of blonde hair around it, his big fist squeezing it to make it harder and then slapping it into his other hand.

He gave a head nod at me. “This what you want?” He gave a slight sneer, curling his upper lip to one side as he slapped his own dick into his left hand.

I didn’t hesitate, but moved directly to him, taking his erection from his hand and kneeling down in front of him to put it in my mouth. I heard him moan out as I tasted the entire shaft. I felt his hands grip the sides of my head as he lifted his chin upwards and let me suck on him.

He tasted like a man, like someone who had worked all day. That musky smell of a true masculine guy who grew at my touch. His balls were smaller than I was used to, and fairly smooth and nicely hung. I gripped them in my hand as I worked him, moistening his shaft with my spit and relishing in this secret encounter.

The noise of the machines drowned us out, my slobbering, his moans, until he pulled me off his cock and stared down at me. “What else do you like to do?”

But he didn’t wait for me to answer, just pulled me upwards and switched positions with me, pushing me into the wall face first and moving behind me. Immediately, he simulated fucking me, grinding his cock along the curve of my ass, pressing it up and down my rump as his hands moved around my chest.

“You’re pretty built man. You feel so good.” His mouth moved closer to my ear, at the side of my neck as he continued to rub his cock up and down my pant covered ass. “Bet you feel nice and warm and tight too.” His voice was breathing into my ear, causing me to shiver at the sensation. I loved it when a guy was at my ear. I loved it even more when he was fucking me.

Without a word I unbuckled my belt, and opened up my pants, sliding my pants and underwear down over my ass in between Jeremy’s gyrations.

“Oh yeah. Show me what you want.” He purred into my ear, his tongue occasionally darting out to give me a teasing lick, or his lips coming together to suck on my earlobe.

I felt his thumb on my bare ass, moving over his cock as he now slid the shaft in between my cheeks, squeezing my butt around it as he pretended to fuck me. A hand came around to my chest before it moved up my neck and then held my chin, Jeremy’s face now against mine.

“Want me to fuck you? Huh? Want to feel my cock inside you?”

I nodded, and let out a small yes but I wasn’t sure if he heard it over the machines.

But again, he didn’t really wait for an answer as he spit into his hand, holding me in this position, pinned to the wall, gripping my chin as his right hand lubed up his cock with his own spit. And then the gyrating, the grinding, the fake fucking changed. The head of his cock slid between my cheeks, seeking the heat. I felt him rubbing it up and down, wetting my hole, searching for its target, until the tip found the opening, and his grip tightened on me.

I think I was still ready from Bill’s double pounding the other day because Jeremy slid right inside me on the first attempt. No pain. No blinding light. Just straight in with a resounding “AH” from both of us.

I could feel his pants against the back of my thighs. His other hand moved to my shoulder and he held me in a vice grip, rabbit fucking me into the wall. His face moved to my neck again and he leaned into me, breathing heavily and letting me know how much he was enjoying this moment.

“You are so fucking tight and warm!” He moaned into my ear. “You feel so good!”

He pulled me off the wall and wrapped his arms around my front, squeezing me hard, his lips giving me kisses along my neck. I craned my neck towards him, feeling his nose at my chin, then moving upwards until his lips were close to mine.

And then his hand pulled my head more towards him and we found each other, lips locking, tongues exploring, and his moaning filled my throat.

“Oh fuck yes!” He moaned on repeat between panting and kissing. He was a frantic kisser, not really passionate, but more in desperation as if he wasn’t used to kissing another man. But what he lacked in finesse he made up for in effort. His cock never stopped pumping, thrusting into me with consistent drive, his arms locked around me as if he didn’t want to let me go.

I reached down and grabbed my cock as we kissed, knowing he wasn’t going to last long at this rate, and needing that feeling of cumming while being fucked. My own breath increased and I started moaning out in his mouth.

“Oh yeah? Feel good man?” He moaned into me, holding my chin again in his hand, trying to look at me as I started to pound my fist around my own cock. His hot breath in my mouth, the way he forcefully kissed me, and the relentless piston like fucking my ass was bringing me to my climax.

“Yeah, fuck me!” I gritted as his mouth moved down my neck and into my ear again.

“Yeah? Like this?” He breathed into me, slamming me even harder.

I pushed back against him and started to shoot my load, contracting my ass and hearing the effects it made on him directly into my ear canal. He started moaning and grabbed me in a bear hug, squeezing me as I shot my cum onto the wall in front of me. Jeremy bucked harder into me, and he announced he was going to blow.

“I’m cumming! Oh fuck, I’m cumming!” He was a strong man, squeezing me so hard I thought my ribs were going to break as he exploded inside me. Small hard thrusts ended our union, and he finally released me, letting me go slowly as he panted over me, stepping back slowly and letting his cock slid out of my ass gently. I heard him grunt as he popped out of me, and then gave my ass a light slap.

“That is one fine ass.” He mumbled as I heard his pants being pulled up.

I straightened up, squeezing my ass shut and hoping I wasn’t too leaky as I pulled my own pants up. No time for a wipe down in this room.

I turned around to face him as I tucked everything away and did up my belt, Jeremy looking at me with that grin.

“Don’t forget. You’ve got my card.” He winked at me as he straightened his shirt and ran a hand through his hair. “Just call and I’ll cum anytime.”

He was sexy as hell alright.

Random hookups with Jeremy? Or relationship with another man again with Bill?

And as I watched him smooth down his shirt and tuck himself in, I had no idea what I wanted anymore.

I felt like I was losing all control. I felt like I was starting to lose it.

Once again.