The date was set, the plans had been made, and I was going to do all that I could to enjoy myself tonight. I was approaching my 35th birthday fast, and you know how the 'whispers' begin when you're 34 years old, unmarried, not dating, and don't have any kids to call your own. I guess that minding your own business is just TOO damn hard for some people to manage. But, you know...whatever. I guess I couldn't hold on to the silent attraction for other men forever. I was going to have to abandon it eventually, right? I was just going to have to give it up and find a socially suitable mate that would make the rest of the 'world' happy. If I don't do it...it's a nail in my social coffin. A total exposure of everything I am to a group of unsuspecting elite tourists who are expecting me to be one thing when I'm really another. Long story. But not having a recent history with any particular lady is a definite 'no no' in my family's eyes. It's like a big glittering Vegas marquee with the words 'I'm Totally GAY' sprawled across it, surrounded by digitized dancing men in sailor uniforms and thong underwear, singing show tunes while their families look on in shame. Oh, how I wish I could get away from that image. It just doesn't do me any good at all.
I knew way back in high school that the day would come when I'd be forced to speak out loud. The day when I would have to stop making excuses and just...sighhhh...dive into the real world, I suppose. A world full of white picket fences, kids who bear your last name, and proud grandparents who are just waiting for me to deliver on the sperm donor part of my existence. That pressured obligation to perform and continue on with the family name.
That's me, Gary the seed factory.
Yeah...it sucks...but you kind of agree to God's master plan just by waking up every morning. So I'm kinda stuck with it. Stuck with a legacy that doesn't really fit me at all, but it's mine regardless. What else can I do but grin and bear it? Right?
I've been approached by many ladies in my life over the years, and have basically blushed and giggled my way into being sought after by girls looking for an eligible bachelor like me to stick his sexual finger in their biological clock to stop it from ticking beyond doomsday. I've purposely invaded the friend zone with them just to avoid the obvious attempts to turn our relationship into something more serious. I guess that I'm just kind of used to evading the issue at this point. But the running couldn't last forever. I'm far from being ugly, and I actually like the attention I get from women, even if it comes from them MUCH more often than from my chosen focus of attraction. Yeah...I like guys, college boys mostly. Something about them appeals to my higher self. I wanted to hump the leg of every hottie I saw in college...then...I got older, and my tastes didn't. Go figure. But so what, right? I'm trying my best to fix it, just give me a chance. It'll work. I just KNOW it will. I'll get myself a girlfriend, and I'll prove to my family that I'm normal, and I'll finally get a chance to live that happy American dream that everybody is trying to achieve, and be fine. How hard could it be to find a girl to love? I mean, my sexual preference is a small price to pay for the continuation of the human race and my family name. I sometimes think that it would be selfish of me to do anything different.
The thing is....the girl in front of me, Monica...she doesn't seem to be the one. I can tell already. Just a couple of weeks around her and I'd probably want to fake my own death to get away from her. Not that she was awful or anything. She just seemed like the type of girl that would stop being interesting after the first three days that you knew her. And that leaves a lifetime of misery ahead of me, where the most interesting part of my day would be trying to think up clever was to kill her without getting caught. That's just...not a good thing, I'm thinking.
It was a date set up by a friend of mine. We had been working together, and he told me that she thought I was really cute. He figured it would be a great idea to get us together. Hell, even my horoscope said to be on the lookout for opportunities in love today. But like I said, from the moment I picked her up in the car, I knew that she wasn't the one to...um...'change me over' to the right team. It's not that she wasn't pretty, because she was. It's not that she wasn't intelligent, because she was. And it certainly wasn't because she didn't have any real sex appeal to her...because, despite my attractions, I could see that she was a dynamite woman in every sense of the word. But......
Dammit...it JUST wasn't what I wanted, you know? She didn't have those sweet, full, boyish lips that I wanted to kiss. She didn't have the firm, round, bubbled ass that I wanted to grip with a strong hand. She didn't have the flat, lickable chest and tiny pink nipples that I wanted to taste. And...well...even though she was what most men would consider a nine out of ten, easy..she wasn't blessed with the right 'equipment' to really excite me. I have nothing against women at all...but, just thinking about a guy with that hot, throbbing, hard rod...living and pulsing and ready to explode in my mouth after sucking it to the point of release..sighhhh...I don't know if there's a woman out there that can replace that feeling of sensual delight for me. Certainly not Monica. Maybe not anybody. It was a waste of time, I suppose...but it won't be that bad. At least I can say that I was out with a girl, and still look straight to anyone who asks. Just picky. That's it. Picky. Selective, actually. Selective sounds better. I didn't want to be a jackass and walk out on my date. Besides, maybe she's got something in her personality that I haven't seen yet, right? Maybe she'll totally impress me by the time we order our food. Conversation can always turn the tide in these situations, and I'll need that a lot more than just sex in a long lasting relationship. So, I really hope that she's got something fascinating to tell me. And soon.
"What are you in the mood for?" I asked her, attempting to keep the conversation moving.
"I don't know, Gary. There aren't a whole lot of vegetarian options on this menu."
I paused for a second. "You're...a vegetarian. Ahhh, nobody told me that."
She looked almost apologetic. "I'm sorry. Yeah, I can't stand meat at all. Well, maybe fish, but only once in a while."
Me, being an almost 'religious' meat eater, I certainly hope she doesn't expect me to chew lettuce and sprouts with her while I'm looking at all of these deliciously cooked animal options on the menu. Do I order something different? Will she be offended? Will she sit across from me and make faces with every bite I take? Most of the vegetarians I know are pretty cool with the idea, but I know a few that will take great joy in telling me, at length, just how my dinner was abused, slaughtered, and fried up for my wicked benefit. Which would be bad. Maybe I should just order pasta.
"You know, you still have that mark on your fingernail from earlier. I've got some tissue if you need to wipe it off..." She offered, seeing a small and discrete letter 'C' on my middle finger.
"No, it's ok. It's..." She won't understand, I'm sure. So I made something up. "...It's just my way of remembering to do something later. That's all." Somehow, bringing up the fact that I've been reading gay fiction on a website online that was celebrating it's anniversary this week seemed to be a dating 'no no'. Wearing a 'C' was sort of a way to support the dinky little place. Besides, I was kind of hoping to see one myself one day. Who knows?
"Well, if you say so." She replied. "Still, it looks a bit out of place. I think it's nice to see a man who takes good care of his hands."
"I'll keep that in mind." I said, and pulled my hand back a bit to prevent any further discussion on it.
I kept looking at her eyes, her lips, even her breasts. She really was attractive. I'm sure that other guys in the room were looking over at our table, and thinking about what a lucky guy I was to have this gorgeous lady sitting down to dinner with me. It's not that I didn't notice. However..as far as a connection was concerned, it wasn't really happening. I like action and sci-fi movies...she asks me if I've seen "27 Dresses". I like good music...and she only owns like ten CDs. All Billboard top ten stuff. She says she 'only' buys music that wins Grammy's, so she waits until they tell her what to buy and spoon-feed her tastes to her for the sake of the almighty dollar. In case you didn't know, to any real fan of music, that's about the most BLASPHEMOUS comment you could ever let leave your face. I like meat, she doesn't. I like camping, she hates bugs. I think the ONLY thing we had in common was that we both preferred men.
God knows I tried, but it was becoming clear that we had pretty much used up all of our comfortable conversation topics in the car on the way over here. Sighhhh...I should have done this dating stuff in high school. Back when all you had to do was stimulate my already raging hormones to be considered a 'good time'. Now I have...standards, and requirements, likes and dislikes...this kind of thing gets a LOT more selective once you've actually discovered who you are inside and what you want out of a partner.
"Good evening, how are you folks doing tonight?" Our waiter came over to greet us, and I must admit...I was completely caught off guard. "Hi." He said again, as he looked me in the eye.
He almost didn't look old enough to be working there, but there was something about him that let you know that he was probably a few years older than he looked. ONLY by a few years or so, but older. He was boyishly thin, his belt on its last loop as his pant sagged gently on his narrow hips, his crisp white shirt was pressed and creased sharply around his long arms, and everything fit him as though it was designed for his body alone. He had a really youthful blond haircut, and dark brown eyes that demanded attention whether you wanted to stare at them or not. And his eyelashes were long enough to be fascinating in appearance. His smile had such a flirtatious tilt to it, but I think it was unintentional. As was the rest of his beauty. I looked up at his face, and I noticed that he was almost 'pretty', with soft, tender, skin, and a subtle roll of sensuality in his voice. "My name is Jamie, I'll be your waiter tonight. Can I start you guys off with an appetizer or any drinks?" He had a bit of a girlish way about him. His movements and gestures were the kind that would scare most well-meaning fathers into putting him into sports instantly, hoping to butch him up a bit before the neighbors started talking. Wow...it was really hard not to lose my concentration completely.
"Um...do you know what you want?" I asked...uh...what's her name again? MONICA! I knew that!
"Hmmm...do you have anything without any meat in it whatsoever?"
The boy bent over slightly and looked at the menu with her. I didn't want to peek at his ass, but I did anyway. Hehehe, it was as slim and dainty as the rest of his waifish frame. But I liked it. It was like a puckering pair of lips, creating the sweetest little 'hump' in the back of his black slacks. "There's a really good portabella mushroom here if you want to try that out? I hear it's excellent."
"They don't cook that anywhere near the meat, do they?" She asked.
The waiter smiled gently, thinking that maybe she was kidding around, but he hid the smirk once he realized that she was serious. "Um...I don't believe so. But I can go in back and find out for you." He said, and then he looked over at me. His grin was instantly born anew. "Anything for you, sir?"
The way he looked at me, the way he talked to me...it was like he was instantly falling in love. But, I'm sure that was just my imagination running wild, fueled by the fumes pouring out of my wishful thinking reserves. Again...I don't think he could help it. His interaction with me was just this subconscious broadcast of passion that radiated from him whenever he spoke. It was almost intimidating. "Me? Uhhh...well, can you give us a few more minutes?" I asked.
He said, "Sure thing. I'll be back shortly. And I'll find out about the mushroom for you ma'am. Ok?" He stood up and gave me one last look, those big fawn-like brown eyes creating a 'jitter' in me that I don't think I've experienced since my froshman year of high school. He walked away from the table, and I did my best not to gaze at him so shamelessly. I don't think I succeeded.
"I hope they don't cook that mushroom by the meat. Some places really don't care, you know?" Monica said.
"Yeah." I mumbled, sort of nodding my head as I took another look at our waiter. He turned to open the door to the kitchen with the back of his shoulders, and when he did, he turned around...and he looked directly at me. With a tender smile on his thin pink lips.
I didn't know how to take it. He was so.....so enchanting to me. It was hard to figure out whether it was his deliberate actions that were making me fall into such an infatuated spin...or if my lewd thoughts were doing it all on their own. It was something that I wanted to brush aside, but my heart wouldn't let me. Because as quickly as this blindsiding event had taken over me...it had also proved itself to be unusually strong. I mean, I didn't know ANYTHING about this kid at all. I had only laid on eyes on him for the first time less than three minutes ago, and already I'm swooning at the dinner table. Does that make me a pervert? Is that what I am now? I don't know what had me so shaken up, but it didn't take long for me to realize that this was the kind of feeling that I wanted to experience when I was out on a date with someone. This was the kind of attraction I wanted to entertain.
And boy, was it ever entertaining.
I attempted to talk to Monica in short, controlled, bursts...my eyes still focused on the door to the kitchen. And then, I felt my heart jump slightly as Jamie came back into the dining area and headed for our table. He seemed even more perfect now than he did when I was first forced to take my eyes off of him. He smiled at me as he approached the table, and then told Monica, "I asked, and they said it's cool. No meat. Nowhere near the meat. So you're all good. Would you like to order the portabella?" He was so polite. And in the sweetest way. She ordered the mushroom, and then Jamie turned to look at me. Suddenly it looked like he was trying to hold back a grin as he attempted to be professional. "And you...sir?" His voice softened ever so slightly, and I felt my growing infatuation with him swell even further.
"Heh...um...you know what? I didn't even look at the menu." I admitted sheepishly.
"Oh, Gary...just pick something." Monica said.
It was almost as if Jamie's eyes flashed a bit when he heard my name. I think he made sure to record it somewhere in the back of his mind. "You know, I could...recommend something for you, if you like?" He asked. He was such a little gentleman, and it was beyond adorable to me. He moved to my side of the table, and leaned over again, but this time he seemed really close to me as he looked at the menu in my hands. As he reached to point a few things on the menu, he lightly rested his hand on my shoulder for balance. I think I jumped from the shock of the initial contact, but made my best effort to pretend that I didn't notice. His touch was so soft. Almost experimental in nature...as if he wasn't sure how I'd react. "We have a variety of chicken dinners, if you want to try one of those." He said, turning his head slightly, a gentle breeze landing on my cheek. His warm breath. I could almost kiss his lips from here. I swear...just 12 inches closer, and we'd literally be making out.
"Um...chicken is good." I smiled, and he let the hint of a grin cross his lickable lips as well, the scarlet touch of a blush creeping into his cheeks.
He looked back down at the menu, and I felt his hand on my shoulder become a bit more confident. His thumb secretly moved back and forth across it. Just one or two swipes, but they gave me a warm shiver all over. I knew at that moment that this wasn't all just happening in my imagination. "We have a really good grilled chicken here, served with rice..." His thumb moved again on my shoulder, down in back where Monica couldn't see it. And I sighed a bit as I fought the urge to nuzzle my lips into the nape of his warm, tender neck. "Or, if you want the chicken Parmesan, it's a little bit more filling..." He smelled good. I could literally smell the fragrance of fabric softener on the collar of his shirt, mixed with the lingering scent of his shampoo. It was angelically sweet. The way you'd expect Summer sunshine to smell after a midnight rain. "The chicken Parmesan is probably my favorite. I think you'd like it." Jamie said, as he turned his head slightly and smiled. Not a full smile...just enough to convey the message. His eyes slid down a bit, to look at my lips, and then he swiftly looked back into my eyes.
"Yeah. That sounds good. I think I'd like that a lot." I said with a bit of a stutter. I felt a definite stirring in my pants as he stood back up to write the order down in his little notepad.
"Cool. Well, I'll get them started on that right away. It should only be about ten minutes, k?" He told us. "Do you guys want any fresh bread or a drink from the bar or something?"
"No thanks. We're fine." I said, almost whispering now as I did all I could to keep my massive attraction to him under wraps. Somehow though, I don't think I was doing too good a job at hiding it from him. This was turning out to be an awesome date after all! Geez, I hope he's not just working me for a tip.
For the next ten to fifteen minutes, I doubt that I absorbed a single word that Monica said to me. In fact, I almost prided myself on perfecting the art of sounding like I was paying attention when I really wasn't. Instead, I was watching Jamie take care of the customers at his other tables. Serving them, smiling at them, helping the busboys clean them off as he got the check. What waiter helps his busboys clean the table? Huh? That alone is a charming enough personality trait to know that he's just one hell of a good guy. Right? I mean, I couldn't help but study him from a distance. It was the only real connection that I had to give him. The only way to even pretend that I knew anything about him. Besides, I wanted to see if he was openly flirting with any of his other customers or if it was just me getting the special service tonight. To be honest, I think I might have been slightly let down if I saw him treating anyone else the way he treated me. He had me sitting there feeling all goofy and cute. I don't think I wanted to share that with someone else. Even Monica.
I was happily surprised to find that he was just...'doing his job' when it came to the other diners in the restaurant. And that made me feel good. Especially during those few moments when he finished helping his table, and would look up to meet my eyes with a smile. A few times he walked over to ask if everything was ok, just to make sure that I wasn't trying to get his attention. But, in truth, I just couldn't keep my eyes off of him, and he couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of me either. Whenever he took a little glance over at me...he'd smile, and build a major blush that you could see from across the room. It only made his previously 'pretty' appearance that much more alluring. This was actually FUN!
WHAT??? He was addictive! What can I say? He was the most sexually appealing boy that I had laid eyes on in years! Everything about him was emotionally stimulating. I took a few chances and made sure to smile at him, causing him to squirm helplessly on his feet, and rush back into the kitchen before I got to hold our eye contact for too much longer. He was obviously gay, at least he was to me. To anyone who looked at him closely enough could see it. I mean, it wasn't really a secret. He was...a little 'sissy-fied' as my uncle would say. But that made him REALLY hot to me for some reason. He was so fragile and frail, so pretty and cute, so slight and bashful...he had this invisible quality that needed protecting. Cuddling. And he looked like he was searching for someone to be that special guy for him. Like....he just wanted to...curl up beside somebody and just allow them to hug him close and snuggle in tight like a second skin.
Wow....I can't tell you how much I wanted to be that somebody.
Soon, Jamie brought out our food, and I had to sit up straight just to prepare for having him talk to me again. I felt like such a kid again, drooling over a teenage waiter. But it was like this sudden enhancement of life, where my instincts were allowed to guide my stare in his direction, and every happy feeling I've ever had was suddenly sent rushing to the surface.
The oversized tray he was carrying looked almost too big for him to hold up on his wrist, but despite the threatening tilt of the tray, he carried it like a pro without a single missed step. He set it down on the table's edge, and I watched his sexy brown eyes greet me with a nod. "Ok...now you guys be careful, because the plate's are kinda hot." It's so inappropriate for me to be imagining him with his shirt off right now. "One portabella mushroom...cooked as far away from meat as our kitchen would allow." He grinned, and Monica smiled as he set it down in front of her. "And...um...a chicken Parmesan...for Gary." He remembered my name? I think I kind of lifted my eyebrows slightly in surprise, and he turned really red in the face when he sat it down in front of me. He giggled to himself, looked me in the eye, and said, "Careful...it's hot." He's still flirting! This was so WILD! What the hell was going on here? Was this a joke? Are there cameras around positioned around the table? If so, I'm not signing any releases!
"Thanks...Jamie." I made sure to say his name, and his shoulders folded slightly from the compliment. As unreal as all of this was, I LIKED it. I don't think I've ever wanted this kind of thing to be more....'acceptable'. If he had been a girl...if I had been into girls...this would be a sweeping romantic story that we could one day tell our grandkids about. Instead, it'll probably end up as some long lost regret that I end up telling a therapist when I'm even older than I am now. Still...he was awfully pretty to look at. If only for a little while.
"So, can I get you guys anything else? Parmesan Cheese, or pepper, or...you know, whatever?"
"I think that's about it, thank you." Monica said politely, and we both looked over at her as we silently cursed her for breaking our moment.
Jamie stood there awkwardly for a second or two, as though he was looking for something else to say. I wish I had something to ask for, just to keep him there for a bit longer. I'd hide my napkin on the floor under the table if I thought I could get him to bring me another one.
Or maybe even crawl under there and get it back for me himself...
Ok, that was way out of line. I should stop that.
"Alright...well..." Jamie shifted on his foot a bit, and smiled at me again. "Let me know if you guys need anything."
He walked back towards the kitchen, but took another glance over his shoulder before going in. I had to talk to this boy! I HAD to! I don't care if I had to dump this whole plate of pasta on Monica's shirt and send her running to the restroom to clean up...I was gonna say something! If I leave tonight, I just know that I'll never see him again! I just know it!
"You know what? I think our waiter's a little 'bent'." Monica said, and then she actually snickered out loud. Snickered! I mean, I don't think that she meant it as an intentionally harmful comment or anything, but it suddenly took me right back to Junior high and high school, where being different was a death wish, and being called a fag was the worst punishment that a cruel kid searching for applause could ever create for you. I thought of every roughhousing jock that I ever had to hide from, every 'manly' event that I was ever forced to participate in, and then I thought about all of the hard times and confusing feelings that poor Jamie probably had to go through too, just to feel worthy of being loved just as much as anyone else...and it just made me sick to hear it. Seriously. 'Bent'? Is that what she said? Is that how she put it? As far as I was concerned, that was the end of our date. No hard feelings, but that was it for me. I was done. I don't think of her as a bad person, and I'm sure...to a straight guy, she'd be a perfect catch. God bless her for that. But to me? The rest of the pleasantries for the evening were basically a waste of both our times. So might as well just eat, go home, and take the loss of funds in my wallet as a strong lesson learned.
Jamie continued to check up on us all throughout our dinner date. Probably more than any other waiter would. And each visit to our table was accompanied by a level of amorous eye contact that made me feel like a total rock star the whole time I was there. I'd like to think that I returned the message with enough of a favorable wink to warrant him giving me more. I don't think my heart was ever so happy to be so confused as it was tonight. And when we finished eating, I was almost disappointed to think that I'd have to ask him for the check.
Sure, he came to get our plates, just as he had with the other tables...but I think he was just as sad to see me go as well. "Here's your check. I hope that everything was ok." He said, and purposely handed me the small folder with the check inside. Which was odd, because these days, waiters always put the check in the middle of the table. It's a neutral position, where anyone, man, woman, or child, can reach for it and pay the bill, without any assumptions being made by their server. Not only that, but he handed me the folder open, and swiftly hurried away without looking back.
I looked down at the bill in front of me, and it looked like his employee discount had been secretly deducted from the total. Not only that, but he left a very discreet note, scribbled out legibly on an extra piece of receipt paper. It said:
"I know this is really forward, but if you want to talk later, call me. I get off at 10 PM tonight! K? This is Jamie....Duh..."
At the bottom, was a letter 'C' drawn in blue...and a phone number.
Did he see it? Did he see my mark? Does he really....um...like me?
There's no way. He's....he's so YOUNG! SO young! And he's gorgeous. The kind of cutie that boys of every age would slit their mother's THROATS to get a chance with. And I'm supposed to believe that he wants me? That's farfetched, even by wet dream fantasy standards.
Monica started to slide out from her seat, and I put my credit card into the folder, keeping the piece of paper with his note on it to myself. When Jamie returned, he seemed rather nervous. In fact, his hand was literally trembling when he picked up the folder to take it back from me for payment. "Thanks....um, have a good night, you guys." He said quietly, lowering his head and walking away to take it back to his station. I watched him open it up eagerly, and when he saw his note missing, he began to look for it a bit more. Then he looked up, and I smiled at him. Hehehe, if only I could have a picture of the look on his face when his smiling mouth dropped open, and his eyes brightened up like a set of matching shimmering gems fit for a king. It was absolutely priceless.
He quickly tallied up our bill, and nearly skipped back to our table to give it to us. "Here you go. You two have a good night, ok?" He said, and I made sure to give him a grin that let him know that I appreciated his service tonight. He was so busy looking over his shoulder at me when he walked away, that he nearly bumped into another waitress coming out with a plate of food. Thank goodness he was quick enough to avoid said collision...but it made me chuckle to myself to see it anyway.
I made sure to leave an almost 50% tip on the bill, and then escorted Monica to the door. I looked back, hoping to see just ONE more glimpse of this boy who had so easily captured my affections, but...no such luck. Ah well, at least we'll always have...um....dinner.
I swear, even the mellow speed of night time traffic wasn't fast enough for me to get Monica home. If I thought I could just slow down and have her jump from the moving car without getting hurt, that would have been the plan. Sure, there was a part of me that didn't want to come right out and say that I didn't have any interest in her at all...but that was just downright rude. Besides, I still liked her a lot. It just wasn't meant to be.
Sighhh...it hurts to say that. I'm NEVER gonna get rid of this long standing 'gay phase', am I?
When I got home, I instantly kicked off my shoes, sat on the couch, and let out a huge breath that I think I've been holding in since Jamie's baby brown eyes touched my vision for the first time tonight. I leaned my head back, still feeling the tingling sensations of infatuation sliding through my bloodstream with ease. I slouched down and just...let the emotions express themselves honestly for a little while. Without the usual boundaries and moderation. It was amazing, you know that? The feeling was wordless.
I dug into my pocket to retrieve the piece of paper that he gave me, and just admired the extremely neat penmanship. Even THAT was cute. I liked the way he signed his name. With a big loop in the cursive 'J', and a line drawn under the whole name after the 'E'. I stared at it for a while...and then just put it down on the couch next to me. Was I really gonna call him? Should I? I mean...this is truly weird, right? Maybe even illegal, for all I know. I should just leave it alone and keep this sexy little note as a memento of a REALLY cool memory that happened one night by mistake. End on a high note, that's what I always say. It'll be a cool story to think about in the future. The night that a really cute boy flirted with me in a restaurant while I was on a date with a woman I was sure to never see again if I could help it. It wasn't a story that I could tell my grandkids one day...but it's certainly one that I'll always cherish as something special.
Then...after a few minutes of inner struggle, I thought..."NO! I'm not gonna just sit here and let this opportunity go by without at least checking out the possibilities. If for no other reason than I'm insanely curious about it. I'm going to do it. I'm gonna call him!" Shit! It was...an actual 'commitment' to being gay. Possibly even for LIFE. My first time doing so. If I did this...if I went through with it all the way...I'd be single handedly destroying my plan to do everything that I had been planning to do from day one as a heterosexual clone. I should seriously think about this. I mean...what am I going to do? Spend the rest of my life with this young man? Get married? Move in together and just create some big gay relationship that lasts forever without anybody else knowing about us? That's not reality. Nothing to be gained without a major sacrifice. And that's the BEST case scenario. Imagine if things go anywhere beneath the standard of perfection.
Then...just as every instinct in my 'socially acceptable' mind began to laugh at the idea of me being happy...there was a tiny little voice in the back of my mind....ever so soft...ever so humble...that asked...
Just that. Two words have never been more powerful. More alluring. Wow....yeah. What if?
This was TOO weird. But as I looked over at the clock on the DVD player across the room...it read 9:49 PM...and the ultimate question remained strong. What if?
Jamie would be getting off of work soon...and he was expecting me to call. Tonight, in fact. What the hell was I supposed to do? Huh? Did he really mean it? I'm going to be soooo humiliated if this was just some kind of...I don't know...weird little prank or something. I'm a grown man, and I'm sitting here wondering if I have the stones to call up some teenage waiter from the restaurant I was just eating in a few hours ago. What the hell is wrong with me?
Soon, it was 9:55 PM...and a generic sense of panic began to settle into my nerves. A panic that asked with determination what would happen if I DIDN'T call him. What if he thinks I blew him off, and that I'm not interested? What if I ruin a once in a lifetime opportunity to find romance with somebody that I really want to be with? What happens if I don't call, and it affects him to the point of never wanting to try this kind of forward approach with anyone else ever again? I mean, I could seriously 'damage' his adorable method of flirtation by not calling him back. Right? And that wouldn't be cool, now would it? So...like...I should CALL, right?
10:02 PM rolled around, and I tried to convince myself that I was just being silly. I should just call him and get it over with. It's not like we're going to have anything in common. I'm old enough to have babysat for him when I was in high school. So why not give it a shot, prove that it's just not meant to be, and be done with it so I can a least stop agonizing over it? What could we possibly talk about? If anything? I should call, and just...put my curious mind to rest. I'll realize it's just a stupid fantasy once we talk for a few minutes. He will too. I'd be doing both of us a favor.
10:04 PM went by. I was still trying to convince myself that this was silly. But this time, I was more worried that I was throwing away a winning lottery ticket here. Like...God spent all this time and effort putting this amazingly beautiful boy in my path, worked out all of the intricate details of having us meet one another, and I'm just tossing it back in the gutter without a proper excuse? What if he really likes me? What if I end up really liking him too, and we end up as a...couple? It's GOT to happen all the time, right? I mean, there are guys who like older guys, and guys who like younger guys all over the place. You've got to assume that they bump into each other every now and then and really make it work. So what the hell am I doing?
10:09 PM was upon me, and if I had to sit there with my thoughts for ONE moment longer, I was going to have to check myself into a mental hospital by morning. So I got up, grabbed the cordless phone, and just sat it in my lap for a minute or two, before uncoiling the paper with Jamie's number on it, still damp from my perspiring palms. Alright, here goes nothing. Shit...I wish I had given him MY number instead, so he could be the one going through this madness instead. I felt a bit jittery as I dialed the number...wishing that I had gained enough wisdom in my years to not be so nervous about this kind of thing. Ten little numbers. Just ten.
I braced myself on that couch as I heard the phone ring. My feet could hardly keep still, and I could already feel myself growing erect just from remembering the delicate sweetness of his boyish features. He was such a perfect example, a virtual poster boy, for what I would consider my 'type' He was the kind of boy that I have been going ga ga over since that first hormonal spark I experienced for another boy in Cub Scouts when I was 12 years old. Never actually found one to be with though. I've had experiences with boys who weren't my type, but definitely fit what I was looking for at that moment. Which was...anything with a piece of meat between its legs. And I've longed for experiences with other boys who I literally fell head over heels for, but they were either straight or just plain out of reach for me. I don't think I've ever been presented with the possibility of finding both sex and a true emotional attachment in the same body before. This would be a first.
AND WHY WON'T HE PICK UP THE PHONE?!?!?!
"Hello?" Came a voice on the other end. Would you believe that I had to seriously fight the urge to suddenly hang up on him without saying another word? Geez! I'm being such a freak right now.
"Hey...is Jamie there?" I asked. I had to be sure it was him before I said something embarrassing. Well...MORE embarrassing..
"This is Jamie." He said, and then after a short pause, he said, "Is this Gary?"
He sounded like he was smiling when he said my name. I thought for a moment that maybe he actually did find it hilarious that this 34 year old man would actually be calling him back. Still, if this was going to be a rejection, I wanted to hear from his lips. "Yeah. It's...it's Gary."
"Omigod, sweet! Um...wait a second ok? I'm getting out of a taxi right now, hold on!" He said excitedly. "DON'T hang up, ok?" I felt myself get even harder and squirming a bit in my seat as I heard his voice float into my ears with a ring of sincere interest. He must have been paying the taxi driver at the moment, and then I heard him say 'thank you' before shutting the door "Gary? Are you still there?"
"Yes. I'm here."
"Hehehe, omigod...I'm SO glad that you called me, dude! I felt soooo bad for doing that to you tonight, but I kinda thought...I mean, I wanted to talk to you. You just seemed kinda 'busy' at the time."
"Ohhh, yeah. That." I said, referring to Monica as an afterthought, and noting more important. "I almost didn't call, you know?" I admitted.
"Seriously? Why not?"
"Well..." I started, and I heard him waiting for my answer as he rattled keys to get into his building. "...Let's just say that I was a bit nervous, and leave it at that."
"You were nervous? About talking to me?" Oh God...the sensational texture of his teen voice was soooo...thrilling. "Aww, don't be nervous, ok? I wanted to talk to you first. For real." I could hear another door open inside, and then figured he was in his apartment, as I heard the familiar sounds of shoes being kicked off and bags and keys being set down on the table.
I wasn't sure what to say to him at first, still amazed that I was even doing this to begin with. It was an unexplored and unreal situation for me. But his voice painted a picture of those soft, full, lips forming each and every word...and thoughts of his enchanting, nymph-like, beauty slowly stroked my emotions until they were loose enough to accept what was really happening here. It compelled me to talk to him some more. "So you took a cab home tonight, huh?"
"Hehehe, well...I usually take the slow ass 404 bus. But lucky for me, somebody gave me a rather generous tip tonight. So I figured that I could afford a little luxury." He grinned.
"I would hardly consider my tip, OR a cab ride, a thing of luxury."
"Maybe I'm just easy to please." He said, a flirtatious tone in his voice. I heard a gentle huff of air as he, no doubt, plopped down on his bed and laid back to talk to me in comfort. "Soooo....hehehe..." He seemed to know what he wanted to say...but decided to 'feel' me out a bit more first. "I didn't mess up things with your date, or whatever, tonight? Did I?"
"Not hardly." I told him, slumping down further on the couch myself, and spreading my legs a bit to press down on the stiff bulge that was straining to be attended to. "If anything, you made it more interesting than I ever could have hoped." It was my first, even remotely, flirtatious comment to him...but just in case I was reading this wrong, I didn't want to start out with anything too obnoxious.
Jamie's voice lowered slightly in tone, and his words seemed to get softer in their delivery. "Really?" He nearly moaned it, and I caught myself smiling without even knowing it. "You know...I made the hostess sit you at my table tonight. I saw you when you first came in."
"Uh huh..." He said, moving around a bit on the bed.
"Now why would you want to do something like that?"
"Hehehe..." He sighed a bit, and bashfully added, "...Um....because."
"Hehehe...." His giggle was so seductive. I loved it. And he got a kick out of me making him say it. "Because...I wanted to meet you."
"Ah, I see." I said, playing coy as my body responded to his every word.
"I saw your mark when I came to the table. I've never seen one on anybody before. I was hoping that it meant what I was thinking it meant."
"My...?" And I looked down to see the tiny 'C' that I had drawn on the middle fingernail. Then thought about the 'C' drawn on his note at the restaurant. "Oh wow...shit. You got me." I grinned.
"Yep!" He told me. "So...you read the site?"
"You 'like' the stuff you see there?" He asked, loading the question.
"Sometimes......yeah..." I groaned softly.
"Hehehe, you're gonna get me into trouble talking like that, you know?"
"Hahaha! No, I'm not. Really."
I hesitated for a brief moment, but I had to ask. "Jamie?"
"Can I ask...how old are you?"
"Don't worry, I'm legal." He grinned.
"Hehehe, that's great, Jamie. But that SO doesn't answer my question."
"Well, how old do you think I am?"
I chuckled. "You know, I don't think you really want me to answer that question." He giggled playfully to himself, and I asked, "Ok...say that I had ordered an alcoholic drink from the bar tonight. Would you have been allowed to bring it to my table, personally?"
"That's soooo not fair." He said, then after hesitating a bit, he said, "Sighhh....no."
"So under 21, then?"
"Hehehe...uhhhh....no." He laughed.
"Almost!" He said.
"Hehehe, how 'almost' is almost?"
"My birthday was three weeks ago."
He paused again. "Um...no...my eighteenth."
"Jesus..." I whispered.
"But that's TOTALLY legal, right? I mean...it's not THAT young."
"It is to me, Jamie." I said with a grin. "Wow...eighteen. Freshly eighteen at that." No wonder he was so 'pretty'.
"SO? Come on...that's not too young for you is it?" He seemed to be getting a bit worried about the direction that this conversation was going, and I tried to make him smile.
"Too young for me to do what, is the question?"
"Hehehe, whatever you want. Whenever you want?" He said. "Now, if you want to. You wanna come over? You can."
"Hahaha!" I didn't mean to laugh out loud in his face like that, but the question caught me by surprise. Especially the way he asked me to just...'come over'. It was so damn cute.
"What? You don't wanna come over?" He asked.
"I just...I didn't expect you to be so bold in asking. That's all." I chuckled.
He shifted on his bed a bit, and softly told me, "Well...I've been told that I've done the whole 'teen angst' thing to death. Hehehe, so this time I thought...maybe I'd just go all out and make a go for what I wanted."
"And...am I what you wanted? An old man like me?"
"You're not THAT old! Geez..."
"Older than you. Double, in fact."
"So?" The way he said it sent a shiver of pure adrenaline up and down my backside.
"And that doesn't bother you?"
"No. I like you. I think you're really cute." He said. "Does it bother you that I'm not...like...your age, or whatever?"
Now that was the question of the evening. Who was I fooling? He was so sweet, and so polite, and so slim, and so pretty in the face...did I really expect him to be any older than 18? Did I really need him to be? The fact of the matter was...I don't think I had ever been crazier for ANYBODY in such a short amount of time before. And I've never been able to have boys like this talk to me with any kind of romantic interest before either. Not even when I was in high school or college myself? He was waiting for an answer. Hell, even *I* was waiting for an answer at this point. And finally, my true emotions spoke for me before I was able to filter them through my common sense barrier. "No. It doesn't bother me."
"Whew....good!" He said. "So, when are you gonna come over?"
"Hahaha! Stop that!" I told him.
"Come ooonnnnnnnnn! Don't be like that!" He whined cheerfully. "Why not?"
"Why not???" I repeated.
"Yeah, give me one good reason why you don't wanna come over."
"Why don't we just try going out first? Maybe get to know each other a bit before we make any other big plans of that nature. You might decide that you don't like me after all."
"Not if we're naked, I won't." He giggled. "What's not to like?"
"Sighhh...do you treat all of your customers with this level of service?" I teased.
"You're not a customer. I gave you my number. So, technically, you're my 'gentleman caller'."
"Now doesn't THAT sound professional?"
"Well, it's better than customer. That makes me sound all whorish and shit." You could feel his personal magnetism through the phone, and at this point in the conversation, I had almost wiggled myself out of my seat and right down to the living room floor.
"Oh no, not a shy little boy like you."
"Hey! I'm KINDA shy...sometimes. Just...not right now." He caught himself and started to chuckle happily to himself again. "Awww, see? We haven't even been talking for that long and you're already awesome. Seriously...you should come over here tonight. So we can talk more."
"Hmmmm...'talk', huh?" I moaned with a grin.
"Yeah......." There was a silence, and he said, "Just for a little while. If you want to."
"How about...we wait a little bit? And I'll take you somewhere to get some dinner some time soon. How's that?" Yes, there really WAS a horny little monster in me that was practically ripping me to shreds from the inside out, just trying to grab that phone and tell him that I'd be there in ten minutes! But...I wanted to at least be a little bit careful with this situation. I definitely want to be responsible enough to make sure that we both have an opportunity to slow things down. Geez....EIGHTEEN. Ahhh, what did I do for this important piece of instant karma to come flying back my way on the boomerang path???
"Awww...are you sure?" He asked, a childish whimper in his teeny bopper voice.
"Hehehe, yes, I'm sure. When is your next day off from work?"
He sucked his teeth in frustration, twisting a bit on his bed. "It's not until SATURDAY!"
"That's only three days away, Jamie."
"I know, but...." He sighed again. "Ok...how about you come over, and we'll just order something to eat instead? There's this cool place, like, right down the block from me."
"You are just ITCHING to get me into your house, aren't you?"
"Among 'other' places." He giggled, and when I gasped in a moment of shock, it made him laugh out even louder. "Will you call me?" He asked.
"Yes. I will call you."
"Don't screw with my head and then not call because you think I'm too young or whatever, ok? You PROMISE you're gonna call me, Gary?"
He seemed almost desperate for me to make him believe it. And he said, "Please call me. Ok? Just...like, call me tomorrow, so I know you'll call me later. And call me on Friday too, k?"
"Hehehe, I will. I swear. I promise. I'm gonna call."
"Ok then. I've got your phone number in my phone now. So you better call me. Or I'm gonna call you to find out why you didn't call me." He replied. Then he said, "I'm glad that you got back to me, Gary. Really. I would have felt really silly about what I did if you didn't talk to me tonight."
"I think I would have too." I said to him, and the comment made him melt inside.
"I can't wait to see you this weekend." He whispered.
"Me either. Goodnight, Jamie..." I said.
He returned the comment. But before hanging up the phone, he said, "Oh! Wait! Before I forget...whatever you do, don't think about coming over here and pounding the shit out of my sweet, tight, ass or anything! Otherwise you won't get any sleep between now and Saturday!" And before I could even begin to laugh my ass off at the shock of his statement, the tricky little bastard hung up the phone on me!
I think I must have laughed to myself about that statement for the next ten minutes straight. I leaned against the back of the couch, and just...kept giggling with every few breaths that I took. He was AMAZING! He was young, yes, but his personality just 'energized' me inside. As sensible as I was trying to be about this...my emotions were completely swept away with the first phone call alone. And after that night, he didn't fail to stay in character.
I found myself thoroughly impressed to see that Jamie wasn't just putting on an act. He really was the same cute boy I made contact with twenty four hours a day. There was no deception involved. He really was a wet dream in the flesh...and believe it or not, I don't mean that in a sexual way.
In the days to follow, our continuing phone calls proved to me that he had even more to offer me than I had originally expected. His sense of humor was always present, even in the simplest of conversations. It was this cheerful vibration that was evident in every word that he spoke. You could just tell that he loved life, and that not a single ray of sunshine went by him unappreciated. And while his sexually explicit desires would occasionally sneak into our talks here and there, it wasn't the only thing he had to offer or to talk about. Nor was it the only thing to love about him. It was hard to believe that a teenager with such a bubbly and addictive personality would be so attractive. Not to be too vague, but most of the really REALLY hot guys out there, especially at that age...have a bit of an attitude. Half of them have an ego the size of Texas, and the other half have the intelligence of a box of animal crackers. Jamie somehow avoided both extremes, and maintained a glorious smile that could melt your heart effortlessly, even when I was just hearing it over the phone.
Jamie would sometimes call me from work while he was on break, just to make sure that I didn't forget about him. I don't think I've ever experienced such a level of excitement in someone I was dating before. He made no attempts to hide it either. It was so refreshing from what I was used to. He even set up a countdown clock on his computer to keep track of how long it would be until our first date. I remember finding that exceptionally cute. It only worked to get me just as excited as he was about this whole thing. Something about it made me pay attention to every heartbeat and appreciate every ray of sunshine. Funny...you'd think I would have outgrown this kind of goofy mush. But now that I was experiencing it again, I shamelessly cherished every minute of it. It felt great.
While making details for the date over the phone, I made sure to ask this time, "You're not a vegetarian, are you?"
His answer was, "FUCK no! Hehehe!"
"Oh well, pardon me for asking."
"No way. I like meat. I looovvvvvveeeee meat!" He giggled, and I swear that one comment made me smile for the rest of the day. Then...the following Friday night while he was still at work, I told him I was happy about us getting together and that I'd see him tomorrow. He answered, "Ok, babe. Talk to you then. Bye!" And he hung up. It was so...natural. So innocent. I don't think he really thought about it, or said it with any real motive in mind...but he called me 'babe'. And in such a tender and affectionate way too. I guess I just wasn't expecting it at the time, so I was stuck for a few seconds while the rush of it ran through me. I don't know, but something about having Jamie call me 'babe' was the most amazing compliment in the world to me. It made me feel so close to him that I could almost reach out and touch him from the comfort of my living room sofa. But to him...it was just a natural progression from calling me Gary all the time. So why not? I wonder if this feeling was as sweet and cuddly for him as it was for me. Or if I was just becoming more and more strange by the day. Heh...that boy does wonders for the soul. I swear.
It came upon so fast that I had to double check the calendar to make sure I had the day right. Not that Jamie would have let me forget anyway. He called me three times before I actually left the house. Once to make sure that I wasn't going to back out on him at the last minute. Twice to tell me the plan, that we would walk down the street to get dinner take out, and go back to his place to watch movies. And a third time to tell me that he was going to jump in the shower and just wanted to make sure that I didn't try to call him while he couldn't hear his cell phone ring. His enthusiasm helped to give me enough courage to throw all of my original doubts aside and just go for it. I don't think I could have dressed myself up well enough. I shaved extra close, I showered extra clean, I triple checked my teeth. But when I looked in the bathroom mirror...the face staring back at me was NOT 18 years old any more. It never would be again. Not an old face, really...but certainly not fresh out of high school. And yet...there was a familiar glimmer in my reflection's eyes that I hadn't seen in years. That tiny little bit of magic that I had tossed aside in order to grow up. Gotten rid of it. Traded it in for an apartment, a job, and a car. It was a part of my soul that I was sure I had sold cheap to bill collectors and tax agents. But...thanks to Jamie..it was right there in front of me again, looking me in the face. And it was smiling.
How did he awaken such an enchantment inside of me after all this time? How did he make it so pure, so golden? I only hope that I'm able to do HALF for him as he's doing for me. Just half.
I got in my car, followed Jamie's detailed directions to his house, and then searched around for parking. I had only seen him once. We had only been talking for less than a week and already my heart was trying hard to not swell up to the point of bursting just thinking about him. When I got out of the car, I prayed that he wouldn't look at me for a second time and suddenly change his mind. What if I'm not the handsome gentleman he remembers seeing from the restaurant? Ugh, the voices, the doubts, the fears...they began swarming around me at top speed like angry locusts as I approached his apartment building. Trying to turn me back. Trying to make me surrender and go back to a life with no challenge. No surprise. But I didn't do it. I had already taken a huge leap of faith just by calling him back that first night. There was no reason for me to stop now.
I rang the bell, and a moment later I heard Jamie's angelically light voice on the intercom. "Gary?"
"Yeah, it's me."
"AWESOME! I'm on the third floor! Apartment #303, k?" I suddenly heard a loud startling buzz as he accepted me into the building. I was surprised that I didn't even get winded going up the stairs to his floor. I think I was too excited to see him again to worry about anything like...physical strain. When I got to his floor, he was already standing in the hallway with his door open. My God...he was even more beautiful than I remembered. He was leaning against his door frame, in nothing but his sock feet, wearing sweatpants and a white t-shirt. He definitely went for the casual and comfortable look. Great...now I feel overdressed. He smiled cheerfully when he saw me, and it put a great deal of those pesky fears to rest inside when he greeted me so warmly. "Gary! You came!" He said, and came out to hug me lovingly around the neck.
He was so soft that I thought he would literally dissolve in my arms. His incredibly slender waist was almost impossible to hold onto when I wrapped my arms around it. He smelled sweet. Like freshly baked pound cake, right out of the oven...and the urge to kiss him on the cheek was irresistible. So I gave him a peck, feeling some of his feathered blond locks swipe across the bridge of my nose. He blushed shyly, and then gently took me by the hand. "Dude, this is my house! You gotta SEE it! Come in! Come in!" He pulled me inside, his smile reaching from ear to ear, and he stretched out an arm to wave over all of his worldly possessions for me to see.
The TV was on in the background, playing some sitcom rerun that I didn't recognize. And he had obviously just moved into the place not more than a month or two ago. In fact there were still a few boxes in the corner of the living room that hadn't been fully unpacked yet. It was a cozy one bedroom apartment with a slightly tilted floor, and a faded blue carpet that didn't quite cover all of the living room. There was an old rusted radiator in the corner, and the appliances in the added kitchen were right out of the 'Honeymooners' TV show. Hehehe, but the way he saw everything, you would have thought that Caesar himself had taken you to a mountaintop to show you the glory of his kingdom. Wow, I remember my first apartment too, and I knew the freedom of it was just as liberating as your first bike and your driver's license. Maybe even more so. Looking at it through his eyes, this place was pure majesty at it's best.
"I like it. You've definitely done well for yourself in here." I said.
His face glowed with a bashful pride, and he said, "Thanks. I'm still gonna fix it up some more though. But so far it's cool, right? Well, I mean...I think it's cool."
"It definitely is." I said, and he smiled at me, looking me in the eyes, his baby brown orbs glistening with the kind of boyish infatuation that I was trying to hide from him when I first laid eyes on him.
"I totally can't believe you're here right now. You're so cute." He said. But before I could respond, he said, "Just let me put some shoes on, and we can go get the food. K? I already called it in. Give me a second!" He disappeared into his bedroom, and came back out seconds later, ready to go. "Couldn't you just totally see yourself getting naked in this place? I sure can." He smiled.
"Suuuure. How about we go get that food first?" I said, letting his playful nature flourish without giving into it fully. At least not just yet.
He walked towards the door, singing out, "You're only delaying the inevitable....hehehe....." Mmmm, God, I hope so.
Jamie was a regular chatterbox that evening, and his conversation was just as exciting and as lively as it was on the phone. Except now, with the added bonus of his alluring visuals and comical gestures...it was even more captivating than ever before. To know that this sweetheart, without the dress clothes, or the mask of just making 'phone talk'...could still maintain such a spellbinding allure to me, it was more than I expected. And I was expecting a LOT. Yes, he was still mildly effeminate in everything he did, but it had this really sensual effect on me. It wasn't over the top or anything, just kinda cute and playful in a really subtle way. He was never one to hide his 'design' for tonight either. He never let his true intentions go into hiding. Often catching me by surprise with a few naughty jokes and teases that seemed to blindside me out of nowhere, time and time again. Honestly, I don't think I've ever had more fun on a 'date' before. He never made me feel any older than he was, nor did he try to put on an act of faux maturity himself. It was normal. Truly normal. By the time we had traveled the few blocks to the restaurant and were bringing the food back to his apartment...I think I was falling hard for the little brat.
We got back to his apartment, we ate, we talked, we shared a bundle of laughs...and we really did get to know each other better. His eyes displayed such a fascination with me that it actually gave me a slight feeling of stage fright from being such a crucial part of his personal spotlight. I made sure that I reflected that same energy back to him every time he spoke. He was the kind of guy you could see yourself staying up until dawn with, just talking about everything and nothing simultaneously, and never getting bored with it. Never once. He really was something special.
"Did you like the food?" He asked.
"The food was top notch, thank you."
"TOLD ya it was gonna be the bomb, right? Next time I'll tell you what kind of desserts to get. Because they've got some some awesome cheesecake."
"Next time, huh? So I take it you wanna do this again some time?" I asked. Suddenly, Jamie's face turned white.
"Oh..." His bottom lip quivered nervously, but he tried his best to hide it from me by biting down on it lightly. "Well...I mean...if you WANT to. You don't HAVE to. If...if you don't..." He stammered.
"Hehehe, don't worry. I'm just having some fun with you. Don't look so worried." I smiled. "I would definitely like to do this again. And often. IF that's alright with you, of course."
He blushed sweetly as he looked down at the table top. "Yeah...it's alright with me. Hehehe...ummm...I'd like that."
"Besides, I might eventually get a better look at that nice ass of yours. I didn't see as much of it at the restaurant as I wanted to." I grinned, and his eyes widened with childish joy as his jaw dropped.
"Hahaha, omigod! You perv!" He giggled, throwing a balled up napkin at me across the table. "You could have just asked me, you know? I probably would have shaken it in your face all night long if I had known for sure that you were 'interested'."
"It's your ass, you can do whatever you want with it?"
"Hehehe, except make it bigger. It's like...nonexistent. I'm all flatlands back there, dude. Sorry."
"Give me a break." I told him. "I happen to like what I saw back there."
"You did not. Shut up." He said bashfully. "God blessed me with a lot of things, but an ass is not one of them. I'm a skinny kid, what am I gonna do?"
"Well...maybe I'm just easy to please." I said, and his eyes glowed for a moment as I could almost hear the sound of his heart ballooning in his chest from the comment. He seemed to be struggling with a way to come back with something witty to say, but was temporarily at a loss for words. So I saved him. "You wanna watch the movie?"
"Hehehe...sure. I guess." He grinned, and he got up to clear the table, not allowing me to take anything to the kitchen sink myself. He refused, being the pleasant host that he was. Then we moved to the living room to sit together on the couch and watch a DVD that he grabbed from the video store earlier in the day. I half expected to slowly go through the motions of finding the appropriate moment to throw my arm over his shoulders...but that coy behavior went out the window the second he sat down beside me. He just plain cuddled up right next to me, grabbed my arm, and draped it around his slim shoulders all on his own. Hahaha, only an exhausted puppy from a long day of playing could be more lovable doing that. He nuzzled his head deep into my chest, and brought his cute little glaring white, perfectly arched, sock feet up on the couch next to him to curl up lovingly at my side. I couldn't help but giggle a bit to myself from the contact, and he laughed along with me as he snuggled even closer before starting the movie with the remote.
The physical contact didn't really start off as a 'sexual' embrace...the two of us holding each other on that couch. It was just comfortable, you know? Unimaginably comfortable. Jamie practically made an affectionate 'pet' of himself, so content to have me hold him so tenderly, keeping him warm. He reveled in the idea of me being older, bigger, stronger...than his almost dainty frame. I was surprised that such a frail body could generate such a beautiful heat. He was soooo warm. And on occasion, I would get the uncontrollable urge to squeeze him against me even tighter. And he'd whimper softly, his little feet rubbing together as he scooted to bury his head further into me. He gently repositioned himself, and then clutched onto my middle, his soft sapling muscles squeezing me back with a gentle pressure. But again, it wasn't really sexual at first. It was just our current emotion. Our undeniable fondness for one another, expressed physically in the form of a tender body connection. Blissful. And innocent. And alive. And just like our emotions...it slowly began to grow in intensity. Our touches began to change in kind.
There is a good twenty minutes of the movie that I don't even remember. I was too entranced by the motions of my excited fingertips as they traced the delicate outline of my angel boy's abdomen. My palm rested gently against him, feeling his body heat before it disappeared into the air around us. I don't think there was hardly an ounce of extra fat on him. His body wasn't skin and bones, but there was just enough 'mass' to him to keep him 'spongy' and soft to the touch. While my index finger rested on his bottom rib, my other three fingers were sinking into the marshmallow softness of his side, his still developing muscles inflating and deflating with his heightened breathing. My thumb, pointing up towards his flat chest. I let it rest there for a moment, before giving him a slow and loving rub. The tension in the air began to build around us, and Jamie took my hand up to his lips, kissing the knuckles briefly before bringing it back down to rest on his stomach. I felt around, playfully digging the tip of my finger into his abdomen.
We made an act out of pretending to watch the movie again, but I think we were both too preoccupied with our current thoughts and actions towards each other to even bother paying it any further attention at all. I felt Jamie move closer to me, as if that was possible from our position. I could smell the sweet honey blond scent of his hair, and took a chance. I slowly leaned my head down to kiss the top of his head, causing him to purr lovingly at my side. He wanted me to make all the moves. He needed me to be the more dominant partner. And while he was an expert at giving me every sensual invitation that I needed to move forward with my subtle seduction, he waited impatiently in silence for me to take things further all on my own.
A sudden surge of nervousness crept its way through my veins, but the shivers only succeeded in exciting me more. It wasn't really fear, as much as it was an overly anxious curiosity. His slim body was such an eager playing field for me, his lithe and sleek frame trying soooo hard not to quiver from my gentle touch. I could feel the moisture of his breath penetrating the fabric of my shirt as he turned his head slightly into my chest and closed his eyes. I hummed my approval as I kissed him again on top of the head, and held him close to me...feeling that familiar 'swelling' in my lap as his touch tapped into my libido. To be honest, I hadn't really planned on this being anything more than 'dinner and a movie' tonight. The idea of rushing into anything more intimate so quickly seemed like it might turn out to be a bad thing in the long run. But...just sitting there...holding him...feeling him holding me back....there really wasn't much of a blockade between us and the next logical step. It felt right. No other mysteries to figure out, no other fears or commitments to entertain. I could at least have a heavy make out session with this boy right now and go home with no regrets whatsoever. Funny thing is, I doubted that I'd be able to stop there if I started. My predictable dating 'Rules of the Road' manual seemed to be completely useless in this situation. I was already lost in his affection. And my heart wanted more. My body wanted more. My SOUL wanted more. And Jamie had all the answers I needed...waiting for me in his kiss. He had demonstrated that fact from the very first time he smiled in my direction. Fighting it now would just be an act of stubbornness. And I was soooo tired of being stubborn at this point in my life.
My palm slid, ever so slowly, down from the sensual curve of his trim middle...down to his side of his hip. And then...lower still. It didn't grace the mounds of his ass, but traveled 'safely' along the side of his waist and down to his thigh, and then back up again. Even that was enough to create an electric surge within me. I continued to rub him in that fashion for a moment, and had to hold my breath as I felt Jamie's head gracefully tilt upwards to kiss me on the side of my neck. It was sweet and it was short...but WOW what a jolt of life!
It was safe to say that the movie we had playing in the background was no longer our main source of focus. Instead, I held my breath as a bit of courage caused him to reach up with his soft lips and tongue to suckle gently at the nape of my neck. His breathing increased ever so slightly as he attempted to hide the intensity of his desire. As I reached over with my other arm, I felt one of Jamie's slender legs slide over my own, and our positioning became a bit more awkward. In order to make any other moves, there was going to have to be a deliberate re-shuffling on the couch for us to gain better access to one another. It was going to have to be a commitment to actually doing this all the way. No more subtle and safe little touches. The games were ending. It was a step that I pondered for a moment, but it wasn't long before making the decision to go further.
Did he really want me? ME? If not, he was definitely putting on hell of a show. It was hard to believe that I could ever get this lucky, but here I am, with the kind of boy that I've always dreamed of having, here in my arms, his tongue lightly lapping at my neck. You don't throw a gift like this back. Not ever.
I took the initiative, and sat upright, disconnecting my neck from the gentle suction of Jamie's eager mouth. He blushed a little, but I didn't give him the chance to be embarrassed, or take back his choice to submit to the situation. Instead, I looked him deep in the eyes, seeing his loving brown specs watch me with so much hope and faith. So much anticipation. And as I ran my hand up the back of his neck to feel his silky blond hair slide through my fingers, I brought his head closer to mine, and kissed the unbelievable soft cushion of his full, young, cherry colored, lips. I could hear a faint whimper come from his wiry frame. A tender yelp of unexpected joy that he tried to contain just a second too late. My other hand moved up to rub his chest, and his arms moved up to hold on to my shoulders. Never had a kiss brought me so much pleasure. Never had an embrace filled me with so much love. And when our hunger for more caused our tongues to get romantically involved, our enjoyment was heightened ten times over.
My thumb felt his nipples harden under my touch, and as I moved over them again and again, Jamie's tender stomach would tighten up from the contact. His tongue entangled itself around me with an even deeper passion than before, and he attempted to scoot even closer to me. My hand slid down, and felt an unbearably hard erection sticking out from his sweatpants, a wet spot forming at the tip as he was aroused beyond comprehension. My hand slid over it a few times, and I gripped the steel hard rod firmly, causing all of the air in his lungs to come rushing out of him as it jerked and jumped in the tight clutches of my coiled fist. More juices leaked to the tip of his hardness, and I almost thought that he had cum already from the generous amount of candy sweet liquid soaking through to leave a coat of cool stickiness between my fingertips.
Jamie moaned out loud, and pumped his hips involuntarily, unable to keep our lips connected with the stimulation of his most sensitive piece. It was almost a sense of frustration that caused him to push my hand away as he got up to straddle my lap on the couch. He draped both of his arms over my shoulders, and kissed me briefly on the lips before asking, "Is this alright? I mean..." I simply nodded my head, and pulled his head down to satisfy my severe appetite for his delicious kiss. My GOD...his lips and tongue were blowing my mind! Being connected to them and their steamy wet suction was a paradise for me. Our tongues mated sensually with one another as I reached around to hug Jamie's slim body against me. He brought his gentle weight down on my lap, and my stiff erection was met by the spongy softness of his ass, protected only with the thin cloth of his sweatpants. My arms crossed, almost allowing my elbows to line up behind him. His frame was so thin, but in such an erotic way. I could feel the workings of his every muscle as he pressed his chest up against mine, and tangled his fingers in my hair...our lips thirsty for an even more intimate kiss than was humanly possible.
He could feel my hardness beneath him, and it really turned him on. He grinded his soft mounds on my lap, his serpentine hips making the most erotic motions on me. I couldn't help but to moan gently into our hungry kiss. My hands slid down to grip the meat of his pert young cheeks, and I felt them expand and contract with every roll of his middle. His sleek stomach moved in slow, passionate, circles...creating the most unimaginably seductive movements ever created. I could swear that I felt my sensitive tip grazing his unexposed hole with the way he was moving. Such a tiny, tight ass, but sooooo appealing. The slim bubbles barely filled each palm, and my fingers dipped into the subtle cleft between them. I squeezed the cheeks roughly, and Jamie grunted, pushing his hardness into my stomach.
He rolled his hips into my chest, and I nearly lost my breath as we kissed desperately, clinging to one another with a passion that I hadn't known since I was a teen myself. I had never felt such a flexible and pliable body up against mine before. So fit, so firm, and moving like an excited caterpillar on my lap. It provoked feelings in me that I didn't even know were there. And after only a few moments of kissing...I was already close to cumming all over myself.
God his lips enticed me. And added to his rhythmic gyrations...my emotions were on overload. It was soon too much to handle, just kissing him and not going for more. So much more. So, I released my grip on him, and moved up to peel off the back of his sweats, exposing his bare ass to the air. He whimpered so sweetly in my ear, and invited me to go further, his slender ass cheeks wiggling their way out of the material and stopping at his upper thighs. Jamie would swear up and down that he didn't have an ass at all, but what I felt behind him was as sexy and arousing as any other set of buns out there. They were lean, and smooth to the point of disbelief...with deep dimples in both sides. Dimples that became more evident with every flex of his bottom, pushing himself into me more and more. There was a tepid moistness in the crevice between his lush cheeks. A sensual heat that increased, the lower my fingers traveled down the tight cleft. Jamie tensed a bit, and his strong ass muscles caught my finger between his mounds, squeezing it hard enough to almost cut off the circulation. This kiss, this night, this whole EVENT, felt like a dream to me! And when his ass cheeks released my fingers, I let them continue their downward slide until my right pinky grazed the outer ring of his most precious spot. A bit of surprise to us both.
He gasped out loud, and held on to me tightly with both arms as his little ass swiveled around in acceptance. He broke our kiss, and we buried each other's faces into one another's necks. Ohhh, the sweet candied fragrance of him. I licked and sucked hungrily at the flesh there, feeling him mirror my motions on the other side. His flesh was so young, so tight. With the exception of the velvety soft collection of blond peach fuzz in his cleft, I hadn't felt much hair on him at all. It was a spellbinding experience, feeling such a frictionless surface with my palms. Intriguing. My pinky teased the exposed hole behind him, and he squirmed like a fish in my lap, soft mewing sounds humming against my neck. He pushed back, hoping and praying for some level of penetration. And I would need a different finger for that.
I let go of one of his ripe cheeks, and reached for the rock hard erection poking into my chest. Jamie nearly went into convulsions when I touched the tip of it. I had to untie the knot at the front of his sweatpants to release it. I had to be careful, as it was straining sooo badly to get out, and the waistband had to be pulled way out to get over the end of it. He was definitely a 'healthy' boy. At least seven inches...and a decent thickness that gave it such a beautifully sculpted look. There was a neatly presented patch of dark blond pubes at the base, and the circumcised head was molded to perfection...the tip tight and smooth with the stress of being oh so hard for me. The sweats, again, prevented me from pulling them any further down than to his upper thighs, but it was enough as Jamie straightened up higher on his knees, and I brought the warm rod into contact with my lips. I took a long suck of the sensitive head, my tongue playing back and forth over his quivering ridge...and then my hands returned to his slim cheeks as I pulled him deeper into my warmth. Jamie let out a whine, and his hands had to hold on to the back of the couch for balance as he felt me envelop as much of him as I possibly could. He could barely hold himself in a position of comfort as I provided a hot, wet, vacuum for him to pump into, his tender little ass flexing under my palms with every stroke. I had never felt hips move like that. The motion was something that you only see in porn movie twinks of the highest caliber. And just pleasuring him was almost enough to get me off.
My mouth was filled with his addictive flavor, and I never wanted to unlock my lips from him ever again. But the movements became somewhat restricted as Jamie got more into it, and I had to let go...my suction causing a loud 'slurp' as I whispered, "Here...get down for a second."
He moaned, and stood in front of me, his hardness twitching and pulsing with every beat of his infatuated heart. And once the sweatpants got past his long, lean, thighs, they easily fell the rest of the way to the floor to puddle at his feet. He was quick to kick them off to the side, and I took his hand to lay him back against the arm of the sofa. His body was so ready to pose for me. Any way that I wanted him, any way that I could think of...he was so eager to please. And when I laid him back, he instantly spread his sapling thighs as far as he could manage to give me access. And as flexible as he was...that was obscenely wide. He had one foot on the floor, while the other disappeared over the back of the couch...opening his every treasure to me without any resistance whatsoever. I heard myself moan out loud from the very sight of it, the scent of his heated areas filling the space between us...and I practically dove in to take his soft sack into my mouth.
Jamie closed his eyes and whimpered in a higher pitch as his hands found my head, to pull me in closer. He sulked further into the couch cushion, and I felt his warm thighs collapse on either side of my face. I licked, I sucked, I nuzzled my nose as deeply into him as I could, while his slim hips pushed up into my face repeatedly. It was a slow winding of his lower half, but it was so passionate that it almost defies description. A few times, his upward thrusts would bring his ass off of the cushion, and my licks would travel further down until they were reaching the valley between his cheeks. I put my hands on his stomach, feeling his soft six pack tensing as his tummy rippled and writhed in rhythm with my administrations. Jamie sounded almost breathless, and when I licked back up to his shaft, and swallowed it whole again...much to his surprise...I thought he was going to slide right off of that couch.
He whined and he wailed...and he reached his frail arms up behind his head to hold on to the arm of the couch, fighting the natural instinct to curl up and further tighten his thighs around my face in reaction to the oral bliss that I was bringing him...but still I kept on. His inner thighs were hairless and smooth. It was like the soft down hairs on his legs began to fade out at the top of his calves and stopped at his knees...leaving his soft thighs barren and free from any kind of friction whatsoever. I could feel that velvet smooth skin rubbing against my cheek as he humped up into me, and released his hardness momentarily to suck and nibble at the pliant flesh, driving Jamie crazy with the sensation. I seduced him with warm puppy licks that slid around his balls and tasted the extra flavor beside them where his legs connected. His skinny limbs trembled, and I could feel his groin muscles and tendons tighten beneath my lips as I suckled at them lovingly. His balls were on one side of my lips, his tender young thigh on the other, and that tiny space in between left just enough room for me to nuzzle in with my nose and lips, sending a ticklish sensation rushing through his waifish frame as he began to truly lose control.
I was holding his thigh to my lips firmly. The flesh never tasted so good. His skin was soooo warm. I couldn't believe the sexy heat of it all. He was the most sensual thing that I had ever touched, ever tasted. My heart felt like it was going to burst just being here with him.
I felt Jamie's movements losing some of their smooth and flawless motion, his hips moving in more 'jagged' jerks and circles now. And I could clearly see the pinkness of his tip flaring red now as it began to expand with lustful appreciation. So I hurried to catch a taste of the main event, and moved up to fully engulf him deep in my craving mouth. His hardness couldn't bear the textured sliding of his sensitive meat across the texture of my soaking wet taste buds, and despite his boyish whimpers and his tightening muscles' attempt to hold his orgasm back for JUST a moment longer...he had already gone beyond the point of no return. His body quivered and spasmed wildly, and he had no choice but to hold onto my head and shoulders to force me down on his shaft while he began to literally erupt with blast after blast of his heated seed. It flooded my mouth with every thick stream, his erection pulsing hard enough to almost force my lips open with every contraction. The thumping of that main vein was soooo hot to me. Almost as hot as the gushing liquid bursting forth from his aching tip, splashing across the surface of my tongue and coating the roof of my mouth with a sticky sweetness that almost tasted virginal in its innocent, unassuming, flavor. It was Heaven for me...feeling his body beginning to relax, his erection still jumping spastically from the sexual stimulation. His body slowly softened again, the tension in his muscles releasing their grip on the poor boy as he came down from a climax that nearly left him unconscious from its intensity.
I sucked down and swallowed all that I could, and felt Jamie wiggle himself down further into the cushion of the couch to lift me up by the chin and get me to lay on top of him as our lips smashed together in the most unrestricted lip lock in history. His tongue went wild in my mouth, and his arms and long legs wrapped around me as though I were his only anchor to the Earth and to reality itself.
"You've got to fuck me, Gary. You've got to...mmmm...I want you inside me. Please? Please?" He begged, his body literally crushing itself against me. His legs wrapped around my back, and he kissed me breathlessly as I tried to gauge whether or not I'd even be able to hold out long enough to get my clothes off in time to give his tight bottom a good push. I was so ready to explode that I doubt I'd be able to suppress it for more than a few seconds. Still, Jamie's lustful pleading gave me enough encouragement to try.
Jamie was quick to sit up, and he pushed me back while I struggled with the dizziness I felt from being so worked up over this kid. Eighteen.....the word entered my mind again, and I focused on it momentarily as I felt my pants being roughly undone and pulled down. Jamie had only gotten them down to my knees before he had scooted up and taken me into the vacuum of his luscious red lips. I didn't know that a mouth could get so wet. So hot. I felt my breathing stop as he bathed me with a long, succulent, stroke of his mouth. And just one nod...down to the base of my shaft and back, was enough to render the rest of my body limp and useless. Jesus! I couldn't STAND it! He looked up at me, his pretty face wrapped so hungrily around my length, the smoothness of his skin enchanting me as his hands rubbed up and down my thighs. I tried my best to sit still, but my body would not cooperate. I felt him slide my pants the rest of the way down, and I unbuttoned my shirt as he kept his suction connected firmly to my shaft. I literally had to stop him before I lost it. I couldn't take much more of that at all. It was too much stimulation for me to keep my cool. And it was then, that Jamie turned around on his knees on the floor, and bent over for me, seductively fingering himself with a wet index as his length returned to full hardness.
A wave of disbelief swept over me as I found myself involuntarily positioning myself behind him, between his sexy legs...his shoulders low, his tight upturned ass rolling in circles in anticipation for me to enter him from behind. He whimpered some more...removing his finger, and reaching back between his legs to caress my balls as I prepared to connect my saliva coated member to his quarter sized hole. It was more of a slit than a circle, and the rim of it still had some of its pinkish tint to it. The small boyish ass cheeks surrounding it humped back against me the second my swollen helmet touched the heated entrance, and Jamie purred softly in response. I could see the bones in his hips as I took a gentle hold of him, and rubbed my hard shaft up and down the center of that tight cleft, feeling the constricted ring 'wink' at me as it eagerly readied itself for invasion. And soon...it was time for the real love making to begin.
It was an intimate moment, that first penetration. There could be nothing more personal, more passionate. It is the pleasure and pain that defines the very definition of what it's like to feel this way for someone else. And when his body finally accepted me into the heated insides of his warm tunnel...I could only close my eyes as I felt the steady and nervous vibrations of his entire body at work. The muscled walls were tighter than anything I ever could have imagined, even for another guy, and they coiled around me with a vengeance as I sank slowly deeper into him. Steady at first. So careful not to hurt him. Even though he never once offered up a complaint. He urged me to go further...and I was more than happy to oblige him. The heat of his insides caused a thin sheen of perspiration to cover my body, and the pleasure it provided was mind-blowing beyond belief. I let my hands slide up and down his smooth backside, his lithe body so responsive to every touch. He wiggled a bit, holding his breath as he tried to adapt himself to the very size of me. His unblemished cheeks pushed back against me, wiggling in another inch or two, and inviting more of me to feed him with what he had been craving soooo badly since he had first talked to me that one night.
He was panting, a sissyish yelp expressing a deeper need to get all of me into that invitingly tight body. His separated cheeks were quivering uncontrollably, and those inner walls sucked so hard at my hardness that I was sure that I was going to let go before I even got started. The tight hole clenched down on me, and his sensual gyrations started again, every feminine circulation drilling me deeper into his heated tunnel. And then...at long last, Jamie took a deep breath, and sank the rest of the way down to the base of my shaft until I filled him up completely. It was done. We were one.
There was a moment of near silence. Only our heavy breathing could be heard in the room, and the sounds of the, now abandoned, movie playing in the background. I could feel the impeccable softness of Jamie's inner thighs resting on the outside of my own. And he remained in that position, frog legged on all fours before me, waiting for this older, stronger, man to feed him the sex he'd been waiting for. And when I first pulled out...he nearly wailed like a banshee from the pleasure of the sensation.
Our lovemaking was slow, but passionate. The sensual heat of him kept our fevers burning, and with just a few long steady strokes into his love...I could feel him loosen up enough to make an easier movement possible. Not that it was actually 'easy'. His slender frame seemed to be engorged with the size of me. His abdomen wriggled like a serpent with every burst of sexual pleasure that I could provide him, and his whining became such a fucking TURN ON for me! He wanted it soooo badly. He pleaded with me to go as deep as I could, and his frail body made itself as vulnerable and as available to me as humanly possible. His hole sucked on me with a power that nearly pulled my orgasm right to the tingling tip and held it there until he was ready for it to be unleashed upon him. I could feel it being rubbed inside by that magic spot inside of him, and Jamie's whole body fought to keep from collapsing when he felt it excite him further. He arched his back like a cat stretching on a warm windowsill, and I instinctively leaned forward to kiss the back of his neck as I continued to push into his warm body over and over again. So small. So tight. So real.
The kiss created an even 'needier' animal in Jamie, and he pushed back against me with even more desperation than before. I saw him crane his neck back around, and our lips connected in a kiss, getting as much as we could out of this position. I felt myself boiling over, and when I reached down to take hold of Jamie's hardness, he cried out with a whimper and his whole body tensed to the point of literally cutting off my climax at the base. His hole constricted, holding me so tightly, so firmly, that the vice like grip would not let my building orgasm go. It grew, and it grew, and soon, there was no stopping it. My shaft began to pulse madly as forced splashes of semen pried his clamped ring open and flooded his insides. I couldn't move an inch, I could only push myself in as far as I could possibly go, and try not to scream out loud as I felt Jamie's insides swirl, suck, and milk, the juices out of me with their muscular talents. I had never shared such an amazing orgasm before in my life. It wouldn't stop. It truly felt like the first cum of my LIFE...and it caught me by surprise to feel it shoot through me with such merciless joy.
It took a moment...and I had to tell Jamie not to move, as my whole body was tingling with an electric jolt of sexual satisfaction that I almost couldn't bear. Naturally, Jamie just gave me a breathless giggle, and slid forward anyway, pulling that tight ring back up to the tip of my shaft and causing a few more splashes to feed his hungry hole with what felt like a second orgasm. And then..at long last, we both fell over to the side, and I tried to catch my breath as Jamie cuddled up again at my side.
We kissed tenderly, and he wrapped his fatigued limbs around me while we both waited for the moment where reality itself 'mattered' to either one of us again. Needless to say, it took a while.
Jamie finally looked up at me and asked, "Well?"
"Hehehe, say something already! You're being all quiet and shit."
I thought about it a second, and then smiled. "Eighteen...."
Jamie giggled and swatted me hard on the chest. "SHUT UP! Quit making fun of me! Hehehe! Don't be mean!" He tried to hit me again, but I grabbed his hand. We tussled for a sec, and he bit me on the nipple.
"Ahhh!!! OK! OK! Uncle! Uncle!" I shouted, and he gave me a playfully pouty face while I pulled him closer and kissed him deeply on the lips. "Cheater!"
He said, "Awwww, I'm sorry, babe." And he leaned down to give my sore nipple a lingering kiss.
"So...what's on the agenda for NEXT weekend?" I said. It got him to laugh, and we both laid on that floor for another half hour before...well...you know. We just couldn't get enough of one another. I loved it.
I can honestly say that Jamie wore me OUT that night with sex! Hehehe, and here I thought that I was passionate enough to hold my own. I think he came three times more than I did. But it was a service that I was more than happy to provide. I spent the night with him that night. Mostly out of exhaustion than anything else. And what do you know...after just two more pleasant dates spent together in each other's company, we actually made it work.
We had things to do together, things to talk about, and an attraction that created one of the most novel-worthy sex lives imaginable. There are times when I wonder what would have happened if I had never gone into that particular restaurant, sat at that particular table, or had that particular waiter, that night. But why even entertain the idea of not having Jamie by my side. I'm happy. And that's all that matters. That's all that ever mattered. Even when the odds of something like this happening are slim, ESPECIALLY where someone like me is involved...they're NEVER absent. It does happen. Believe me. It happens.
Magic exists out there. And I found it. I found it.
(Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! And feel free to check out my other stuff)