I watched Keith ball his hands into fists and then relax them. His face was showing a deep frown of either anger or incomprehension. I wasn't sure which.
"Jon, are you saying you're a queer?" His voice was low and puzzled.
"Dude, what the fuck?" I pretended outrage. "You know I have a girlfriend who, by the bye, gives me great and regular handjobs. Not like that holier than thou Monica you are with. I want kids and a family someday and I don't just go around casually sucking guys off. I'm only offering to do it to you because I think this perpetual hard on thing you have really needs help. If you ever got snakebit you know I would suck the poison out for you and that's pretty much what I'm offering here. And the best you can do in return is call me queer? Thanks one hell of a lot!"
Now his face looked totally alarmed and his fists dissolved into raised hands to fend off my outrage. "Jon, I'm sorry! I guess I just never thought anybody but a queer would offer to suck off another guy but this is different, isn't it? When you compare it to sucking out snake poison it suddenly makes sense. And as for Monica, I dumped that bitch. I begged and pleaded with her for months for a hand job. I explained about guys getting blue balls. I tried everything until she finally very reluctantly agreed. I was SO juiced! We parked out by the lake, I reclined the car seat, unzipped and pulled down my pants and let my dick pop out at full attention. I leaned back and closed my eyes and prepared to be carried off to heaven. I waited for her soft warm hand to caress my drooling rod but instead I felt something cold and gross wrap around it. I sat up straight and looked down where her hand was encased in a rubber glove which was wrapped around my dick. A BLUE rubber glove to match my blue balls I guess! I pretty much lost it at that point, told her we were through, tore out of our lakeside parking place and rushed her home at well over the speed limit. I screeched to a stop in front of her house and looked over at her where she was staring at my crotch with a disgusted look. My pants were still pulled down and, for once, my dick had really given up the ghost. He was so limp and dejected looking laying there on my thigh with a little pearly remnant of precum glistening on his dickhead that I felt really bad for him. Almost like he was his own person and had been grossly misused and insulted. And the topper for the whole disastrous night was that Monica said she felt it was only fair that I pay half the cost of those goddam blue rubber gloves. I told her where she should shove those blue rubber gloves which sent her flouncing up the sidewalk all in a big snit. I think we can say our relationship is pretty much done for at this point."
I can be such a liar when I need to be. "Damn, Keith, I'm really sorry to hear how bad that went for you!". I congratulated myself on the genius bit about sucking out snake poison. "I just don't think women really like doing that stuff for men. Hand jobs are asking a lot but forget about blowjobs! They do not want that hard thing all covered with precum in their mouths. One girl I asked said no way. When I asked why she was all indignant. Because you PEE through it, that's why!! But as a guy, I know that dicks are what they are and it's nothing bad. As long as they are clean, I don't see what the problem is in putting them in anyones mouth, including mine. So why don't we get on with it."
He had his dick in hand and moved over in front of me where I sat on the bench. I spread my legs apart so he could move in closer and now the head of his dick was right in front of my eager open mouth. I took a soft handfull of ass cheek in each hand to pull him in even closer and felt a smear of precum on my lower lip as he guided his dickhead into my mouth. I got the head and about an inch of the shaft in before his fist got in the way. My tongue swirled and lapped around his pulsing head and my lips locked around the shaft. He was whimpering softly and his right leg was trembling like crazy. I let go of his butt cheek long enough to unfist him so I could swallow his entire dick. He put a hand on either side of my head and I returned both my hands to his delicious ass. I pulled him to me and let his cock go deeper and deeper until I thought he was going to choke me. Then my nose bumped into his pubes and his balls gently came to rest against my chin. He eased out a little so my tongue could work its magic while my mouth sucked and made the perfect hot pocket for his rigid dick. He was moaning loudly now and his breathing was heavy and raspy. I slid up his dick till I had just the head in my mouth. I was truly in a whole new world of feeling and tasting from finally having an actual dick in my mouth. Even in my most sex fevered dreams I didn't grasp how fantastic the real thing would be. I was ready for this to go on for a long, long time but, alas, Keiths dick couldn't last. His hands gripped my head and he thrust himself as deep in as he possibly could. This time my nose was mashed against his pubes and his balls slapped against my chin. He growled like an angry bear and his body clenched tightly as the first blast of hot, saltysweet cum shot right down my throat. I instinctively pulled back far enough that the second, third, and fourth load was on my tongue so I could swirl it around my mouth like I was tasting a fine wine. The mouthfeel was rich, slightly spicy, and the consistency of it left a film of itself on my teeth. I was loath to let it go but Keiths dick was starting to soften and he was trembling violently. I gave it one last swirl around my mouth and let it slide down my throat. I felt totally happy and at peace. I had fulfilled a dream and it was even better than the dream itself. But now I had to deal with Keiths body tremors and his really raspy chocking breathing. If my first blowjob caused a guy to go into convulsions and die, wouldn't that sort of taint any future blowjobs for me? I did NOT want that.