It's Just Sex...Right?

It was the most popular sports bar in town, and the college students had it packed watching the game and each other. Every table was occupied. Every bar stool too, and any floor space behind them. It was noisy with the blare of the televisions and students cheering and talking among themselves. In between plays or during commercials they would rush an order for another round, or make a trip to the bathroom, or they would flirt with someone, try to capture someone’s attention to give them prospects of a fun time later that evening.

Among the tables, dead center of the room sat three guys who appeared not to be having as much fun. They look despondent as they barely talked to each other. Only a week ago they were as rowdy and fun loving as any other of the guys on campus. The first month of the semester had been parties, nights out at the bars and nights with someone different each time. They had been living the clique of college life for three guys. But over the last week their worlds got turned upside down. Everything they believed about themselves was found lacking, missing some aspect that came to life. And it scared them.

“Hey Sean, are you still going to that party thrown by some art student?” asked Jackson after finishing his third beer.

“I guess…maybe” Sean replied. Looking over at Fenton, “What about you?”

“What about me?” Fenton repeated, not paying attention to either of them, lost in his own thoughts.

“Yes you. What are you doing tonight?” asked Jackson.

“I assumed we would just hang out like usual.  You want to go to the club to hear that band play?” replied Fenton as he watched two guys follow a woman across the room.

“Not really. Let’s hang out at your dorm room and just play some games or watch a movie.”

“What about your room?”

“Hell no!  I mean, I think Octavio has some friends coming over.”

“My room is fine…I’m going to the bathroom” said Fenton as he stood and walked away.

“Another round?” asked Jackson looking across at Sean.

“Nah…I think I’m going back to the dorm and crash. I know that party will go all night. You sure you guys don’t want to go?”

“I’m sure.”

Jackson went to the bar and when he came returned Fenton was back, but Sean was gone. Neither mentioned Sean leaving early, made no mention to how out of it he had acted, for they were facing their own demons and thus just as out of it as he had been.

Jackson saw a Latino guy come in and go over to friends at the bar. He was average in height and build but had such a dark smooth complexion, with dark hair neatly cut accentuating his face. He saw women respond to him as he crossed the room. There was the whispering among the groups, the blatant stares and silly giggles, which the guy obviously knew was aimed at him. He smiled at some of the women, even winked at one before sliding into the crowd at the bar. Jackson recognized the flirtatious nature, this cocksureness and he squirmed in his chair. It was the same flirtatiousness his dormmate exhibited. Octavio had a similar build, but his hair was shorter, and he had earrings in each ear, and a tattoo on his bicep, both calves and one on his right ass cheek. And Octavio was gay. Openly gay so much so it embarrassed him at first. He was afraid the guys on their floor would assume something was happening between them. Even though he tried to play the jock role even stronger, partied a bit harder than he knew he should, in the end, something did happen.

Five Days Earlier – Jackson

Jackson came into the room and found he had it to himself, unusual for a Monday afternoon. Usually Octavio was at his desk, books and notebooks open, hard at work on his assignments from his morning classes. He rolled the basketball into the corner and pulled his sweat soaked tank top off, running it down his chest wiping up more. He was still hot from playing games for the last two hours, taking challenge after challenge. Heart still pounding in his chest, he had to cool down before taking a shower.

He kicked off his shoes and pushed them under his bed. Stepping back. he eased down in his chair, spun around and propped his feet up on his desk. He took a slow deep breath, then another, bringing his breathing back to normal. Sweat trickled down his face and beaded up on his chest. He wiped the wet tank top through it again then tossed it on the floor by the hamper. Hands clasped behind his head, he looked out the window, seeing the upper floors of the dorm across the Commons and the blue sky above. There wasn’t a cloud in it, nothing to disturb the purity of its vivid color.

The door swung open and he saw it was Octavio coming in with his bike. The tank top and shorts he wore were soaked and Jackson couldn’t help but notice the thickened state of his cock within the tight garment.

“Where did you ride?”

“Out to Hamilton Park and back.”

“Jesus, its fifteen, sixteen miles to that park.”

“It’s eighteen and I feel every damn one of them. A mountain bike is not for long rides. I can’t believe I let those guys in my Biology class talk me into it” said Octavio as he parked his bike and walked to the window, standing only a foot away.

Jackson couldn’t stop himself from looking at Octavio, the lean muscular body and that dark skin tone, so different from his own. Even though he worked out, had great muscular definition, he was still self-conscious at how pale white he was compared to other guys. Octavio seemed to radiate his masculinity. Sometimes rather darkly, the way he flirted, even jokingly. The sexual nature of how he moved, talked, even the way he dressed, with clothes that were tight or revealing in some manner. He attracted the gay guys, lots of them, but he also attracted the attention of the women. It was shameless the way both would throw themselves at Octavio when he went out with the guys to the pub or sports bar.

The dark hair under Octavio’s right arm was wet, dripping with sweat, and this unnerved Jackson to notice, to think of it and wonder what it would feel like to run his fingers through it. He had never been around another guy who was so open in his sexuality. Never around one who could talk about sex in a manner not crude or full of bluster, but seriously, sensually, with descriptions that made his cock stir.

Jackson knew he should move over, put a little more distance between them. He was too close, in Octavio’s space. But Octavio is the one who encroached in his space and he sat stubbornly in place, daring Octavio to do something. To touch his leg or brush up against his arm, or…

He shifted uncomfortably in his chair putting his feet down.

“I desperately need a shower but I’m sweating so much” Octavio uttered, his voice low, as he stared out.  “You look a mess too. Basketball?”

“Yep. Nearly two hours of it. I’m beat and trying to cool down before hitting the shower.”

Octavio laughed, then turned toward him.

“There’s too much masculine stink in here” Octavio joked as he slipped his tank top off. “Jesus, I have got to get cooled down. I thought these jerseys wicked moisture and heat away from your body.”

“Mostly wicked the moisture. It’s still cooler without it.”

Jackson didn’t realize it, but he was staring at the bare torso. The small dark nipples and the thin line of dark hairs that trailed down from navel to shorts. For the last month, he fought the urge to look at Octavio. Sometimes even avoiding eye contact. He found him to be some devilish thing, an evil satyr, forced upon him as some test. But as days gave way to weeks, he found Octavio intriguing. At first, he considered it his background, the son of immigrants, first to go to college. Then it was Octavio being opening gay, and how he didn’t let the guys on the floor with a problem get to him, and over time winning over the friendship of most others. Finally came the most uncomfortable aspect. What he considered just an appreciation of another guy’s good build, an admiration of his muscular body. But it nagged at him, stirred emotions he fought to suppress. He wasn’t gay. He liked girls, hooked up over the weekend with two for fuck’s sake. But their room grew smaller with each passing day. He felt it, something brewing between them, and it scared the shit out of him. But it also fueled his imaginings when he masturbated, made him grow so hard his cock ached. He had even fingered his ass over the last week, rubbed its tightness feeling how it affected him. Never had cum spattered him in the face so much.

Octavio leaned against the windowsill and wiped the tank top down his chest and stomach, and Jackson watched. Then he stared at the outline in the tight shorts. The way it looked thicker than just a minute before, stretched out longer, reaching nearly to the side of his hip. His own cock stirred in his boxers, but he didn’t notice it. Only felt it, the arousal it gave him. And he didn’t notice how it tented his shorts.

“Jackson?”

“Yeah?”

“Working out…getting sweaty…does it do something to you?” said Octavio as he unabashedly reached down and manipulated his cock, worked it around in the tight shorts to a more comfortable position.

“Yeah” Jackson replied. He leaned forward, suddenly aware of how his aroused state was openly displayed. “I just get going after…”

“Yeah, me too.”

The silence between them grew large, a tension that made the space between them seem electric. Octavio slid across the sill, closing the distance between Jackson and himself.

“The door is locked…you want me to help you out? It’ll just between us. No one has to know” said Octavio as he bumped his knee against Jackson’s knee, making the first contact between them. Jackson didn’t pull away. He just sat still, staring up at Octavio.

“It’s just sex…right?” Octavio added as he moved closer, dropping to his knees. He put his hands-on Jackson’s thighs and rub along the damp skin, feeling the smooth firmness of it. “This is okay, isn’t it?” Jackson just nodded his head while leaning back, spreading his knees further apart, giving Octavio access while remaining mute.

When Octavio touched him, he inhaled deeply and let it go through his open mouth as he shivered with the continued manipulation of his cock through the wet shorts. One hand moved to the leg opening and slipped into it, and he felt it rake along the inside of his thigh then touch his balls, working them in their sac. Then the fingers slipped through the fly of his boxers and touched bare skin. The bare skin stretched tight around his cock.

“Fuck” Jackson uttered as he felt those fingers toy with his cock.

Octavio leaned forward and put his lips to Jackson’s stomach, kissing it then dragging his tongue over it. He pulled his hand from within the shorts and took them by the waistband. “Raise up” he whispered, afraid to speak too loudly thinking it could break this spell Jackson seemed to be in.

Jackson lifted his hips letting Octavio strip him, pull shorts and boxers down together. His cock flopped out, smacking his stomach. He watched Octavio move over him, come so close hard cock touched his chest then dragged wetly across it. He watched a hand go back and take his cock, hold it up as Octavio moved down. A push against the head then a tight squeeze that made him shudder. He wanted to cry out as he felt the head of his cock penetrate Octavio, squeeze through a tightness he had never felt before. He threw his head back and looked at the glazed expression on Octavio’s face as he felt the tight grasp on his cock move downward, slowly, inch by inch.

He put his hands on Octavio’s waist, feeling the measure of it, its narrowness. And he felt its movement, up and down, as the tightness around his cock did the same. Soon Octavio was riding him, roughly, taking his cock all the way. He felt hot, feverish. It was worse than from his exertions on the basketball court. He was barely moving and yet, he was burning up. He began to push upward, and Octavio cried out, far too loud.

Sitting up, he hugged the lean body to his chest. He wanted to feel its heat and the way it was moving, taking him into its depths. He buried his face in the sweating chest, smelled the masculine scent, then kissed it, tonguing the salty skin. Sliding tongue across it, he manipulated one of the nipples. Worked his tongue over the hard nub, then pressed lips to it and sucked, hard, making Octavio shiver. He took the nub between his teeth and bit down, and Octavio shuddered while pulling his head against it.

‘Fuck, I want this’ he thought as he slipped his hands under each thigh and rose with Octavio still on his cock. He carried him to the bed and eased him down on his back. He grabbed each leg behind the knee and folded the hot, sweaty  body over and drove into its depths. He quickly fell into a fuck, hips working furiously for his pleasure.  He rocked Octavio across the narrow bed till his head was bent against the wall, and he kept fucking, driving his cock through that tight opening and into the soft recesses of Octavio’s body. The bed began to squeak, to rock noisily, but he didn’t care. And he didn’t care how Octavio was crying out, begging him to fuck harder.

Then he did it. The one thing he thought he would not do. He moved down on Octavio and kissed him. Pressed their lips together then dueled tongues as he hammered his cock inside him.

He didn’t slow when he felt it, his need to come. He kept hammering his cock inside Octavio till he couldn’t hold back. After a few seconds he jammed his cock into Octavio’s depths and shuddered with release.

He was heaving for breath when he rolled off Octavio. For a few minutes they lay side by side, each trying to settle down. But they were both still hard, Octavio because he hadn’t come yet. He watched Octavio climb to his feet then hold out a hand.

“Shower with me.”

He couldn’t’ think straight, couldn’t wake from this fog of desire. He let Octavio lead him into the small bathroom they shared with the two guys next door. Octavio held their bodies together as he got the shower going, adjusted the temperature then led him under the spray.

Hands soaped him up, ran over his back, around to his chest, downward over stomach then cock. They stroked him till so hard his cock angled upward. They tugged on his nuts till he shivered, surprised at the pleasure the pain gave him. They rubbed his ass cheeks, gave on a smack, then worked down between them. They touched him, rubbed over his opening, toyed with it till he let a moan escape.

“Can I put it in you?”

The voice sounded so meek, so innocent, unassuming. He didn’t think of what it asked. He felt too good, wanted this pleasure to continue, so he nodded his head yes.

He pressed his forehead against the cool tile and moaned as cock breached his tightness, pushed inward, sinking slowly into his depths. Hands held his waist as Octavio’s abdomen bumped his ass, repeatedly, over and over. The pace of their fuck increased, and he bent to it, pushed his ass back to take Octavio, every inch that he could take. He felt his own cock, still hard, swing freely between his thighs.

The hands on his waist moved to each shoulder and held him in place as the sound of their bodies coming together echoed in the small shower. He didn’t understand it, how he could submit so easily, to let himself take another like this, but he wanted it. Wanted to feel Octavio inside him, the feel of cock as it piston inside his hole. One hand moved up to his head, grabbed him by the hair and pulled. He cried out as he rocked in rhythm with Octavio.

The hands moved back to his waist, slipped around it and raked through his pubic hair, down to his balls, tugging them tight in their sac. He shuddered with the pain whiled pushing back. A hand moved to his cock, toyed with it, then stroked him, hard, roughly, matching the pace of their fuck.

It was too much. The stimulation overpowering, and he shuddered with release, spewing wads of cum against the wall. He felt his opening flex, spasm with his release as Octavio kept fucking, driving into his depths. He didn’t think he could stop. Then Octavio cried out, pushed him against the wall and jammed cock as deeply into his hole as he could.

Out of the shower drying off, Jackson considered what he had done with Octavio and it scared him. It had been so easy. This submission to another guy for sex. His inner turmoil over it confused him, the way he had been so aroused by everything they had done, things he normally considered disgusting. He dried off quickly, went and dressed and told Octavio he was meeting the guys for a late dinner. In fact, he had walked around  campus till the early morning hours hoping Octavio was asleep by the time he returned.

The Present

“What are you thinking about?” Fenton asked Jackson as he set his empty glass down.

“Nothing. What about you? You don’t seem to be with it either.”

“I don’t know. Just tired from late nights, I guess” Fenton lied, knowing he could never tell Jackson, or Sean, what had happened. They had been friends since the first grade, did everything together. Birthday parties, sleep overs, then camping trips and riding bikes all over town, till finally they were in college, all three of them at the same university, partying together. But he had a secret, one he was sure the others wouldn’t accept. He was so afraid they would find out and their friendship would end he had avoided them this past week, ever since it had happened. Even now, he felt a coward for not being able to admit it and worse, a liar, with his little white lies to conceal the truth.

He was never the jock like Jackson or Sean. Never the one the girls had flirted with shamelessly. He was just one of the guys, the quiet one that wasn’t as rowdy as his two friends. The girls said he was the sweet one, the nice one that didn’t get into trouble. And through high school that was true. He had been afraid to act out as he wanted. He made himself more introverted than he wanted to be.  And he kept his secret, even from Jackson and Sean.

He knew by the eighth grade he was different. Had felt it happening, some inner change he didn’t understand. He watched television programs with cute guys, he looked up to his friends, especially as he saw them go through puberty and begin to mature. He was the shortest, the skinniest of the three of them, and he knew all too well, even now, he looked much younger. He saw it in the mirror every morning how he still looked like a teenager, waiting for the need to shave.

Across the table sat one of his best friends, and yet he didn’t have the courage to tell him how he didn’t like girls. How his only attraction was toward other boys. There had even been a time when he lusted after Jackson, then later, Sean, each for different reasons, but neither finding out for the same reason; he couldn’t admit it.

He had hoped college would grant him some freedom he didn’t have in high school. That he would find the way to explore his true self. But for the first couple of years he just tried to do well in his classes and went with the flow. This year had been different. The first month had started the same and it had made him anxious. But last week, the stars aligned, or the cards were dealt correctly, or whatever it took, for he found himself able to act out on his longings. These desires for another guy. It took him by surprise for he had not expected it at the time. Now he didn’t know how to hold on to it.

Four Days Ago - Fenton

The campus grew calm as the day wore on. The rush of students that made it a hive of activity during the morning and early afternoon gave way to empty sidewalks and only a few students coming or going to a class. Fenton cut across the campus, riding his bike in a slow leisurely manner. There was plenty of time to get to the old quad, and Madison Hall where Tony lived. They shared Physics, a subject that confounded Tony and after a felling grade on the last exam, he had swallowed his pride and asked Fenton to tutor him. He understood the concepts but struggled with the formulas. The ‘a’s over y’s or z’s or whatever they were.

Fenton, backpack slung over his back, weaved through the few students on the sidewalk and turned into the quadrangle following the angled sidewalk from one corner to the other till he was in front of Madison Hall. Fenton had sat next to him on the first day of class and every day thereafter. At first, he had looked at him with the eyes of a closeted man. The pretense of listening to his commentary or some joke about sex and partying while looking at the physical features that made up the person. Tony was about his own height, around five seven or so, but more muscular in build. He considered the reference to wrestling in high school which fueled his imaginings of Tony in a wrestling singlet. He imaged it in red or white or yellow, some color that would conceal nothing, let every curve and form of his body be on display. He imaged Tony’s cock visible through the tight fabric. For three weeks he struggled not to stare at him, not to say something that would give himself away, let Tony know what he was thinking.

Tony aided his denial by showing no interest in other guys. He didn’t comment on the jock who obviously spent every waking moment in the gym that sat three rows down, his broad shoulders wider than the seat. But there had been references to a couple of the girls, pointing them out with a comment about their attractiveness. Eventually he put Tony in the category he had Jackson and Sean. Straight boys that were friends. Someone he had no chance.

When Tony asked him to tutor him, he agreed readily, for that was what friends did for each other, but he also viewed it as chore. Another task required of him in college. It was why he wasn’t in a hurry, for this was a tutoring session. There wasn’t even the possibility of getting Tony drunk, like at a party, and seeing if he would be willing to mess around. He climbed the stairs to the third floor, strolled down the corridor till he came to room 316 giving it three quick raps with his knuckles.

“Come on in” came Tony’s voice through the door.

Fenton found Tony on his bed, shirtless, wearing just a baggy pair of boxers. He stumbled coming into the room, struggling not to stare at the lean muscular body. The chest with pecs strongly defined and a stomach impossibly flat. Moving toward the desk wondering how he was going to get through this tutorial he tossed his backpack on the floor and took one of the chairs.

“Ready to get started” he uttered without looking around at the prone body.

“Yeah…I guess so” replied Tony and he heard the bed squeak with movement then his presence next to him, taking the other chair. He glanced down at the stomach, then the loose boxers and how the fly gapped open revealing pubic hair and some skin. He swallowed hard and reached for his backpack forcing himself to look away.

“Where should we start?” he asked.

“Might as well start at the beginning for the next exam. I think I have some of it figured out, but…” Tony opened his textbook to a tagged page, pointing at a formula, “this one has me stumped when this variable is altered.”

“That one is tough if you don’t understand this aspect” he said as he pointed to the paragraph below.

For fifteen minutes he struggled with tutoring Tony. His eyes kept going to the bare torso and those damn boxers that had to be two sizes too large. None of his were that loose. But as they delved deeper into the chapter, then the next, his focused on the textbook and the notes he had made, explaining each concept and each variable to Tony. The sunlight coming in through the window shifted across the floor and up the wall behind them as the day neared its end.

Eyes blurry from being at it too long, Tony suddenly slapped his hand down on his notes, pushed back and said enough. He’d had enough for one day. Fenton eased back and rubbed at his eyes.

“You want to go get something to eat? My treat” said Tony as he swiveled around.

“Yeah sure” he replied as he rested his arms on the arms of the chair and swiveled to face Tony. Their knees bumped and he pushed back, aware of how it could seem to Tony. He struggled with how to move, what to say, afraid any gesture could betray him. Then he looked down and saw Tony’s cock lying in one leg opening. He stared at it, unable to turn his eyes away. Tony’s hand came down and pushed the leg of the boxers upward revealing more of it. His fingers rubbed over the head then tugged on it making it start to harden.

“Fenton?”

“Yeah.”

“You want to touch me?”

“What…no…No.”

“It’s okay, Fenton. I saw how you look at me. You can touch me. I want you to.”

“No…I can’t.”

Tony rolled closer and he watched a hand come to his knee and the fabric of his jeans suddenly seemed so thin. He felt each finger’s touch. Tony spread his legs even further apart as he pushed up closer. The hand moved up his thigh, getting closer and closer to his own stirring cock.

“Can I touch you?”

He couldn’t respond, mute in his old fears, but he did nothing to stop that hand. He looked from Tony’s growing erection with it protruding out in the open more and more till it began to raise with its full hardness, back to his own crotch. Fingers raked over the front of his jeans and the sensation raced through him. He felt confined, his clothes binding. Tony pushed his chair back as he went to his knees.  Tony rested both arms on his thighs and toyed with the front of his jeans till his erection was painfully obvious.

“Scoot forward for me” Tony whispered, and he slipped forward, allowing him to lean back. It gave Tony the room to undo his jeans, to tug down the zipper and spread them open. His cock tented his boxers in the gap and Tony traced it with his fingers, then grasped it, manipulated it through the thin fabric.

“Relax Fenton. It’s just sex…right?”

Breathing hard, unable to say anything, he watched Tony lean forward and mouth his cock through the boxers. A moan escaped from deep within as he felt the manipulation, the lips that followed the length of his cock, the tongue that worked around the head and fingers that toyed with his nuts. He spread his legs but still felt too constricted with his jeans on.

He watched Tony toy with him till his boxers were made transparent with spit. He watched Tony pull and tug on his boxers till his cock slipped through the fly, sticking out fully erect. “Nice” Tony uttered as he moved to it and Fenton watched his cock disappear in Tony’s mouth.

He threw his head back and let Tony suck him. Savored the feel of it, this enveloping of his cock into that warm slick mouth. He was quickly erect, then struggled not to push upward, to increase the stimulation.

He felt the tug on his jeans and raised his ass to let Tony pull them down. He felt the tug and pull till he was naked from the waist down. Hands glided up each leg, along his thighs and up his stomach. He felt the slight tug on his shirt and knew the buttons were being undone. It fell open, then Tony was working his arms through the sleeves till he was free of it. Then it was a bare touch, the press of fingers against his skin.

 Fingers rubbed at his nipples then pinched down on each, giving them a twist. He looked up at Tony as he cried out, shivering in the pain, and the pleasure of it. His cock bobbed with his arousal.

He watched Tony move over him, straddle his legs, now naked, the boxers tossed on the floor. He put his hands on each leg as Tony moved closer rubbing hard cock across his chest, leaving a wet trail in its wake. He started to guide it to his mouth, wanting to feel it on his tongue. But Tony had another idea, one just as good. Fingers held his cock up and he watched Tony lower to it. He felt the pressure on its head, then the tight squeeze as he penetrated Tony, slipped into his hole, inch after inch, as Tony moved down on it. When Tony sat on his lap, cock buried inside him, he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around the muscular torso.  It was so warm against his skin, so smooth it glided over him as it moved up and down.

Tony kept moving in his arms, moving along the length of his cock. Slowly, painfully slow, the tight ring of Tony’s opening move along it. He moaned when that ring pushed up against the flared head of his cock and he grunted when Tony took him all the way again. It was brutal the way Tony keep a slow pace, but after an eternity the pace of their fuck increased. Soon Tony was riding him roughly. The body in his arms grew hot, slick against his skin. Its movement fueled his own arousal till he was pushing upward trying to push deeper into it.

Tony leaned back, torso stretched out and pumped his hips furiously. He felt Tony’s cock slide up his chest till it was slick. The head moved over his skin in such a tantalizing manner. Suddenly, Tony’s breathing grew erratic, his movements out of rhythm, and he saw how Tony’s body was responding. Muscles tight, the skin glistening in the dim light. Then he felt it, the first wad of cum strike him under the chin, then more hit his chest as Tony’s cock, spurting over and over, slid up through it.

“Fuck” Tony exhaled as he slowed, exhausted with his exertions. But Fenton wasn’t satisfied yet. His own cock still hard without release. He wanted to feel it pumping in Tony’s hole, to feel the heat envelop it as he buried it inside him. He wrapped his arms around the slick torso and took the step to Tony’s desk and used him to rake everything off that was in the way. He put Tony on it, grabbed each leg and lifted till Tony was laid back. He shoved into his depths without holding back and pushed Tony across the desk till his head was bent to the side. He hammered his cock inside him. Fucked for his pleasure, this need for release.

His own body grew hot, sweat beading up across his forehead and down his chest. Tony’s cum trickled down it as his abdomen smacked against Tony’s ass.

“Fuck…fuck me…come on you bastard; fuck my ass” Tony growled, growing more vocal the harder he fucked him. He couldn’t slow down, couldn’t hold back, his desires pushed to the breaking point. He wanted this release so bad there was no stopping it. He shoved inward and cried out while his cock flexed with each ejaculation.

The Present

“What’s wrong?” Jackson asked, bringing Fenton back to the present, to the noise of the bar and the fact they were sitting in the middle of it and neither of them appeared to be enjoying themselves.

“Nothing.”

“We haven’t seen you much the last week. Classes going okay?”

“Yeah, they’re good. In fact, I’ve been helping one of the guys in Physics some evenings.”

Fenton hoped the lie wasn’t evident on his face. It wasn’t entirely a lie, but the truth was he was at Tony’s dorm, more often, than not, piled up on his bed in lieu of sitting at the desk studying. It had been better than he had dared hope. To be with someone like himself, and to have sex that was pleasurable, that pushed his arousal to the point he didn’t think he could take much more. But he knew his little white lies about what he was doing, making excuses not to get together for dinner or to go out for a beer would have to stop.

“Octavio still driving you nuts” Fenton asked, smiling for the first time in some time. He knew how Octavio pushed Jackson’s buttons and he wondered if they had reached a truce.

“Octavio? Huh…no. Everything’s fine.”

If Fenton didn’t know any better, he would swear Jackson’s answer was as evasive as his own.  

Sean walked back to his dorm debating on whether, or not to go to the party. It was already past nine and by the time he got to the dorm, cleaned up and back out the door, it would be near ten and Ian, the art major throwing the party, lived in some old farmhouse on the outskirts of town. He’d been parties there before and found them insane. The music blaring inside the house, the studio in a back bedroom that had nude studies last time and the front bedroom that Ian called his gallery space, the whole room painted white, even the floor.

And Josh was going to be there.

Two Days Earlier - Sean

He knew it wasn’t such a bad thing to cross Josh’s path again, but he wasn’t sure how things were left between after last Thursday. It was crazy to think of it, how they had played racquetball till both were a sweaty mess and starting to make mistakes. They should have stopped but egged each other on for one more game. It had been a mistake. Josh had nailed him twice with the ball, once between the shoulder blades. Then Josh hurt himself. He was going for the ball as it came down near the right wall, a nice clean arc inches off the wall. Josh swung at it and his racquet hit the wall and bounced back, hitting him across the forehead. The cut was clean and not too deep, but it really bled at first.

Josh had tried to get him to go home, that he could take care of it, but he had insisted. So, he found himself in Josh’s dorm room, just the two of them. Josh was shirtless, not wanting to get any more blood on it. Sean noticed the athletic build but didn’t think much of it. He, himself, worked out regularly too. Instead he sat in front of Sean and cleaned the cut. He was about to bandage it when he looked at the sweaty person before him.

“You should shower off first so the bandage will stay dry.”

“Good idea. Give me a minute and I’ll be right back” Josh replied as he jumped up, grabbed his toiletry case and towel and headed to the bathroom at the end of the hall.

Sean spun around in the chair and looked around the room. The poster of a woman over his bed that made him smirk at the thought of why that location, the family photos on his desk, the bicycle leaned against the wall he knew cost over two grand, maybe three and the ribbon for a win in wrestling from high school.

Josh came back in the room, towel wrapped around his waist. He sat as before and Sean rolled back in place between his legs.

“What are your friends up to? I saw Jackson on campus the other day.”

“Jackson? He has a lab this afternoon so he’ll be late getting back to his dorm where Octavio can drive him nuts some more. As to Fenton, well…”

“What?”

“You won’t freak out, will you?”

“Freak out? No, why?”

“I’m pretty sure he’s gay and just can’t tell us for whatever reason. Although we do joke around in ways that might make him keep his secret.”

“But you’re not sure?”

“Actually, I’m 99.999% sure.”

“Does it bother you?”

“No…to each his own. I’d never reject a friend because he’s gay.”

“I’m glad to hear you say that?”

“Why? Are you…”

“No, but my younger brother is gay.”

“Oh, I see.”

Sean put the remaining medical supplies back in the kit and admired his handy work, a white bandage that angled down Josh’s forehead. Then he couldn’t help it. Thinking about Fenton being gay, and Josh telling him his younger brother was too made him consider it. Josh was attractive. He saw what the girls saw that flirted with him when they had met up at the pub. The blonde hair with that red tint, strawberry blonde they called it, and his fair skin with cheeks that took on a rosy tint when he was cold or flustered or just embarrassed.

“What are staring at?” Josh asked, a smirk on his face.

“I’m…” he stammered then laughed. “After this talk of Fenton and guys who are gay, I was sitting here wondering about this attraction between guys and acknowledging to myself I could see yours. Why girls threw themselves at…”

“Stop” Josh interrupted, laughing nervously.

“Relax; I’m not going to make a pass.”

“So, I’m not good enough, all of a sudden” still sounding like it was all a joke.

“Funny. Very funny.”

“But seriously, does it gross you out to think of the sex between two guys?”

He had to think of it, give it more serious consideration, then he shook his head.

“No, not particularly. To each his own, and besides I’m not sure any of it gross. Or maybe some sex by anyone could be gross in some way” he replied shrugging his shoulders.

“I walked in my brother and his boyfriend last summer.”

“No shit. Did it freak you out?”

“Just embarrassed the hell out of me. Seeing my brother on his back, in that position…it was strange.”

“I’ve wondered about Fenton. I’ve tried to picture him on top of a guy and can’t, then I try to picture him underneath another guy and that doesn’t work either.”

“Maybe we just confuse this notion of being on bottom as subservient and being on top is some sort of dominance, making each some role they’re not…well for some anyway.”

“Maybe…makes sense for I can’t see Fenton being…dominant of anyone.”

There was a time of silence between them, Sean still sitting close to Josh.

“You ever wonder what it would be like…the sex?” Josh asked in a low hesitate voice.

“Sometimes” he admitted.

The silence hung between them as the suggestion grew, from a suggestion to something else.

“You wanna try it?” Josh asked.

“What…no…I…” he stammered then looking at Josh seriously, “you wonder about your brother’s experiences being gay?”

Josh nodded his head, still serious, “Do you ever wonder about Fenton?”

“Well, yeah, but…”

“But what? It’s just sex…right?”

There had been no foreplay, none of the usual kissing and touching and slow undressing of the other, the way they did with girls. Josh had stood up and dropped the towel while Sean slipped his shirt, shorts and boxers off. They stood by the bed in awkward silence, not sure how to begin. The roles they would take and whether that made any sense. Josh finally made the first move, reaching out and taking Sean in hand, slowly tugging on it, giving it little squeezes, trying to get him aroused.

Sean responded slowly, his nervousness making him struggle to become aroused.

“Close your eyes” Josh whispered.

Sean closed his eyes and focused on the sensation of his cock being manipulated. He began to thicken and grow erect. He felt himself fill Josh’s hand. Then the hand let go and he wondered what Josh was going to do next.

A hand took the base of his cock and he felt the wet touch and knew Josh had tongued the head quickly. It happened again, longer this time. Then he felt lips encircle the head and take him. Josh’s rhythm was awkward, with him choking a couple of times, but soon it grew smooth, the slide of lips working his cock till he didn’t think of it as gay. It was just Josh giving him this pleasure.

All too soon he felt like he was close, too close, and he pushed Josh off his cock. “Stop…stop…not so fast.” Then he felt a kiss on his stomach, chest, neck, lips moving up till Josh was kissing him, their lips pressed together, and he kissed him back. It was part of this human ritual, this intimacy, and they were going to play it out. He pulled back and looked at Josh.

“That felt good.”

“Can you…” and he put a finger to Josh’s lips then eased down on his knees. It was the first time he had been so close to another’s cock. He could see every characteristic. The flared head capping a thick shaft with a vein that snaked down its length. All framed by the dark red hair. Below the hard, curved cock there were the balls hanging loose in their sac, and it surprised him how low they hung. He reached for them and tugged down till the sac turned red and the balls were snug in the bottom of it. Josh moaned and braced himself on his shoulders. He saw Josh’ cock flex and clear liquid pool in the slit. He was curious, ready to continue what they had started, and he licked it off. Josh shuddered and uttered a ‘fuck’ as he considered the odd sweetness. It wasn’t disgusting, not at all, and he took Josh in his mouth.

It was an odd sensation, the way Josh filled his mouth, moved over his tongue as he worked his lips back and forth. Eyes closed, he let his mind go blank, thinking of nothing but the pleasuring of Josh. The cock seemed to grow thicker in his mouth, to flex, bumping the roof of his mouth. He heard the moans and heavy breathing as he increased his pace, not sure if he wanted to stop or to continue to the climax. Could he take it? He couldn’t dwell on it.

Josh pulled back, leaving him gasping for breath.

“Fuck…stop…you have to stop.  That was…” and Josh stopped, afraid to tell him it had been better than with any girl.

He stood up and wondered where they went from here,  the two of them aroused till their cocks dripped with it.

“Get on the bed” said Josh as he took him by the arms and guided him to back down on the bed. “Don’t move. Let me do this, okay?”

“Okay.”

Josh straddle his legs and he watched him move up his body till over his cock. He watched the reach back taking hold of it. He watched Josh’s hesitation then determination as he lowered himself down to it. The push down on the head then the slow squeeze through made him shudder and renewed his aroused state till he was fighting the urge to push upward.

Josh moved down, till his cock had disappeared from sight. He felt the heat that enveloped it and the tight squeeze around the base. Josh sat still for a minute, and he reached out and took his cock, stroked it, making him feel more aroused. Josh began to move, upward and back down, slowly at first, but gradually getting faster and faster.

“Fuck…fuck…” Josh uttered as he rode him. Worked that tight ass on his cock till he couldn’t take it. He sat up and hugged their bodies together. Josh’s cock dragged up and down his chest and he pressed his face into Josh’s chest and kissed the hot skin. He needed to take control, to set the pace he desired, and he rolled Josh onto his back and drove into his depths. He rose up on his hands and fucked, fucked hard, harder than ever before. It made Josh grunt, moan and cry out. It rocked the prone body across the bed till Josh’s head hit the headboard, and he kept hammering at his hole.

He grew hot, sweat trickling down his face and his body wet with it. Every muscle felt loosened by his exertions. He felt Josh’s legs wrap around his waist as he fucked him, hard, pushing inward all the way.

He couldn’t hold back, didn’t want to, as he felt the surge of release, He kept fucking, faster and faster till the bed squeaked and rocked. He fucked till cum exploded from his cock, wad after wad spewing into Josh’s depths, and he kept fucking, thrusting through the hot slick load.

When he finally couldn’t take it, not another stroke, he pulled out and fell beside Josh, heaving for breath.

“Goddamn…that was…” he stammered, unable to finish.

Then he knew it was Josh’s turn, time for him to take it up the ass. And he was ready, wanted to know what it felt like. He had seen how Josh responded, the way he cried out and moaned. Reaching over he stroked his hand down the leaking cock till wet with it.

“Okay, do me,” he uttered.

“Roll over on your stomach. I want to try something first” asked Josh, unable to admit to what it was. One of the things he overheard his brother talking about.

Sean rolled on his stomach and looked over his shoulder as Josh got between his legs.

“Don’t watch me…okay?” said Josh and Sean looked away, put his head down and closed his eyes.

Hands rubbed over his ass cheeks, the parted them. Hot exhales caressed the space between them, then there was a touch, and another, just above his opening, so close it shocked him at first. Then he felt the wetness of each touch, then the slow drag of tongue down his ass. He pushed his face into the mattress and moaned.

The tongue worked his ass, dragged up and down it, till he felt wet. Then it circled his opening, pressed against it till he was pushing back. It surprised him how much he found pleasure in this manipulation, this tonguing of a part of his body considered most private. He never considered letting someone touch him like this. Now, he didn’t want it to stop.

Then the touching stopped, the hands let go of his cheeks and he felt Josh move over him. The thick cock touched him, pressed against his hole. Then a kiss at the back of the neck, and a soft whisper.

“Relax. Let me in.”

He held his breath and clutched at the sheet as he opened to Josh, stretched open letting that thick cock enter him. It hurt, made him shudder with the pain of it, but Josh held still, just the head inside him, and he loosened to it. Another inch slid into his hole, then another till Josh pressed against his ass.

Josh lay on his back and worked cock inside his hole. Piston within it, at times grinding against his ass trying to go deeper. His own cock responded, grew hard beneath him and he ground it into the mattress as he took Josh’s fuck.

“Fuck…fuck…harder” he uttered unable to form the sentence that told Josh to fuck him harder, to admit to how much it pleasured him. Josh rose on his hands and began to fuck harder, faster, bouncing off his ass with the force of it. He cried out into the mattress and pushed up to take it.

He felt beads of sweat run down on his back. He felt legs against his own, a hand come down on his neck pinning him to the bed and he felt that thick cock. Always that thick cock, and the way it moved inside him. It seemed to push deeper than was possible. To reach inside him and touch something that inflamed his desires. He worked his hips, pushing upward for Josh’s cock and back down to rub his own into the mattress.

Josh bellowed, cried out a ‘fuck’ that he knew the meaning. He felt it. The hard push inward and the way Josh kept jabbing at his ass trying to push in deeper. He felt the shuddering body and the flex within his hole. Then he felt his own release, as his cock flexed with each ejaculation. The wetness spread around his spurting cock as Josh began to slow fuck him, to work cock through its load.

“Okay…that was…hot” said Josh as they lay side by side, heaving for breath, both sated, their flaccid cocks wet on their abdomens.

“Yeah.”

After a long time, their breathing back to normal, Josh leaned up on elbow and looked down at him. He opened his eyes and saw the smirk.

“Would you do it again?”

“I don’t think so. But it might change a few things with the sex I have with girls.”

“Really? Like what? Rim their assholes before you fuck them” Josh replied.

“What? No…not that” he replied, laughing at the image of one of his past girlfriends letting him do it.

“Yeah, that might be a bit much” Josh laughed as he lay back down. “I thought I might freak out a little…you know?”

“Me too.”

“But I don’t think I’ll want to do it again. I’m laying here thinking about the things I can do with another girl.”

“Cheating on me, already?” he replied, unable to keep from laughing.

“Funny…but I need another shower. Don’t leave until I get back. The bandage will need to be replaced.

The Present

Sean walked into the house and saw the madness of the party, how it was in full swing. Music blared over speakers he didn’t recognize and all around him were others. They were dressed more enticingly. More flesh revealed than in a locker room. He saw mess shirts and black bras. Jeans ripped and frayed till they barely concealed the person within. He moved through the living room aware of this sexual tension that radiated in the room. The kitchen was crowed, every inch of the countertop covered with either food or drink. He worked the six pack he brought into an ice bin then slipped one free, twisting off the top.

“Hey Sean, you made it” came a voice from behind as a hand rested on his shoulder. He turned to see who was behind him.

“Josh…Lisa, you guys been here long?”

“About thirty minutes. You alone?”

“Yep. Jackson and Fenton didn’t want to come.”

“Well fuck’em, if they don’t want to come to a good party. Have you seen out back? It’s crazy as fuck. Come on.”

They sat on the back porch, feet dangling over the side, as they watched the antics going on in the large yard. An inflatable kiddie bouncing house, a kiddie pool filled with ice and beer poking out, and a small crude stage with three guys playing guitars. The party was in full swing; he could smell it on the air.

He glanced over at Josh and Lisa, feeling a bit jealous. They met a few days ago on campus and had been going out ever since. She was attractive with long dark hair and seemed to be really nice, and at the moment, a bit in shock at the antics going on. He turned to watch the guys on stage till his eyes caught sight of her. The tall girl in a sun dress. It hung loosely on her, and he watched her move among the others, till she was approaching the porch along the walk. In the light he saw her strawberry blonde hair and the rosy tint to her cheeks. As she stepped up on the porch, she smiled at him.

“Hey, guys, I’m going in for a minute,” as he jumped up and followed the girl inside.

Two Weeks Later

Running late, Jackson raced along the sidewalk weaving in and out of others he met or passed. It was near dark, the sun below the horizon and everything going gray. He turned on Hill Street raced up to the small pizza parlor. It was busy with students sitting outside at the picnic tables along the sidewalk and standing around the entry. A text message from Sean informed him everyone was inside already seated. He pushed his way in and saw everyone at the large round table that occupied the center of the dining room. Sean was waving at him and he made his way to the one empty seat between Sean and Fenton. As he approached, he noted who had made it, their little group of three grown, for eight were sitting around the table. Fenton was with Tony, the two of them trying not to look like the couple he knew them to be; Sean was with Cheryl whom he met at that party two weeks ago; his roommate was with Luke, a guy he had met in one of his classes; and Josh, a friend of Sean’s was seated next to his girlfriend, Lisa. He was the only one alone and it knotted up his stomach a little to think about it. Over the last couple of weeks, he had been more alone than he had been in a long time. But he knew he only had himself to blame. He ignored the phone calls from Kathy, a girl he had dated at the start of the semester. Then there were the nights he went out with some of the guys on his floor, to the pub or sports bar, where he rejected each advance. He had even rejected the advances of Chris from his dorm when they were in the bathroom. He worried over the latter for days, wondering what he had done to give Chris the idea he was available.

They talked around the table, one group or another, and Jackson responded with friendly replies and added comments, while inside he felt this questioning of where he found himself. He looked at Sean, who was so sure of himself, knew exactly what he wanted. Then he looked over at his roommate, Octavio, opening gay and unafraid to pursue his own path in life. Fenton was the only one he felt some odd connection. The putting on a façade, of not being fully honest with everyone about himself. He wondered if maybe he was doing the same. He glanced around the dinning room, with tables of girls together and others with guys huddled up together and he couldn’t decide which to linger on, which to make a judgment of his attraction. It was driving him nuts, this inability to focus on only one sex. Shouldn’t he feel like his options were greater, not less?

“Hey guys, anyone want to go see that movie being shown on campus?” asked Fenton.

“Maybe” Sean replied and some of the others responded in kind.

The conversation circled the table, first on the movie, then on some exams they were about to take. When the table fell silent, Sean took a drink, set his glass down and looked over at Fenton.

“Hey Fenton, there’s something we want to talk about.”

“Yeah, what?” Fenton replied and everyone could hear the nervousness in his voice.

“You know we’re good no matter what, right?”

“I guess so” Fenton replied, and the doubt became evident in his reply and its tone.

“Look, Fenton, we know. Alright, we all know and have for some time. It’s okay if Tony and you are more than friends” Jackson blurted out, no longer patient.

“You’ve known for some time” Tony asked, leaning forward to look around Fenton.

“Yeah” replied Sean with the others nodding their heads.

Fenton looked around the table, and realized for the first time, really understood how his friends wouldn’t reject him. They had even accepted Octavio, had for a couple of weeks, and that should have been enough to let him know it would be okay. But he had kept living with his secret, comfortable in his denial. But now that it was out in the open, he sat back and took a deep breath. Tony slipped a hand into his under the table giving it a squeeze and for the first time, all felt right in the world.

Empty pie pans sat around the table, glasses drained, and everyone sated, Jackson slipped out to go the bathroom. He ambled through the dining room and down the narrow corridor in back to the men’s room. He had to wait and when the guy inside finally came out, he went in, locked the door and pissed, the beer really making him take forever to empty his bladder. Hands washed he unlocked the door and started out when he came up to another guy.

“Hey, Jackson, how’s it going?”

“Oh, hey, good, good. What are you up to?” he replied as recognition slowly came to him. It was Logan from his Public Relations class. He was surprised Logan knew his name for even though the class was small, less than fifteen students, they had been sitting on opposite sides of the room. But the last couple of weeks he had to admit he had taken more notice of the guy. He overhead him talk of Oklahoma and working with cattle and how he could not wait to do something else. Jackson could picture the guy on a cattle ranch. Blonde and blue eyed, and boyishly handsome. He looked the role. He also knew that in the last few classes Logan had caught him staring.

“Just grabbing pizza before going out later” Logan replied.

“Well, it is a Friday night” he joked as he stepped aside to let Logan enter the bathroom.

“That it is” said Logan as he walked past. “Hopefully I see you around” and the door closed.

‘What did he mean by that’ Jackson wondered as he ambled down the corridor, looking back once expecting to see Logan standing at the door.

Back at the table the others began to stand as he approached.

“Let’s get out of here” said Sean as he handed Jackson his cell phone. “You coming to the pub?”

“No, not to tonight.”

“What? No, no, you have to come” said Fenton coming up beside the two of them.

“Look, I’m going to head to the dorm for a bit then…well, maybe I’ll catch up with you then” Jackson replied giving himself a way out of going to the pub.

Outside they moved along the walk, their group stretching out longer and longer, the couples finding their own space. Jackson fell into step with Octavio, making sure the others couldn’t hear him.

“Octavio, where is that bar you go to?”

“The gay bar?”

“Sshhh…yes.”

Octavio snorted then shook his head. “Jackson don’t be afraid to play both sides of the fence. You’ll not know what really makes you happy till you do” he whispered, keeping Jackson’s confidence. “It’s called Blake’s and it is on 8th Avenue next to that print shop. You can’t miss it. Look for the rainbow flag over the door.”

“Thanks, and this is just between us?”

“Yes. Now go have some fun. God, you looked pitiful when you first arrived tonight.”

 It was as described. A nondescript building with the front window covered with shutters, a small wood sign above with Blake’s painted on it and hanging over the door was the rainbow flag. Jackson looked at his watch and saw it was eleven thirty, a couple of hours since he left the others. He watched three guys go into the bar and another walk up and stand on the sidewalk talking to someone by the name of Ryan on his cell phone.

Jackson wasn’t sure this was what he wanted, but he felt this need to see. He walked to the door, pulled it open and went into the bar where music played on a jukebox and the bar was full of patrons. On the far side of the room were two billiards tables with games in progress at each. He went to the bar, not looking around much, for he wanted a drink, a chance to relax before really scoping out the place. Two guys smiled at him and parted letting him to the bar. He nodded, afraid to say anything for he didn’t feel it, an attraction toward either one. He didn’t know why exactly, but it wasn’t there.

“Whiskey…on the rocks” he called to the bartender. He pulled out his wallet and slipped a twenty out waiting on his drink. There was movement to his right, the guy standing there moving away and someone else slipping in next to him. He felt their presence like none before. He felt the guy’s eyes looking at him and he wondered if he could glance around quickly and get a read on him without being obvious.

The bartender came back and set his drink on the bar.

“That’ll be six bucks. Hey Logan, what do you want? Your usual?”

“Yes John, that’ll be great.”

Logan? Jackson thought and didn’t think it possible. He picked up his drink and took a long deep drink then looked to his right.

“Hey Jackson, funny running into you here.”