A long time ago, over a decade ago, I had two homosexual 'encounters', one that found me out, and one that I sought out.
The beginning of the story finds me passed out drunk in a doorway of a major American city I was visiting. I was 22, fearless, and a heavy drunk in those days. I was a construction worker, and very strong and confident of myself, probably part of the reason I'd stayed out on my own drinking all night, and felt safe enough to pass out in the first doorway I found when I felt like it was time for some rest. I was being woken up in the very early morning by a boot gently nudging me in the shoulder. I opened my eyes lazily, and saw the silhouette of an enormous man looming over me, carrying a small backpack. The sun was directly behind him so I couldn't tell anything about him except that he was well over 6 feet tall, and broad and muscular. I remember complaining loudly that he leave me alone.
'Can't sleep here,' he said in a deep and stoic voice, 'This is my buddy's store.'
For some reason I bought his authority without question, and I stood up and brushed myself off. That was when I got a look at him. He was a black guy, obviously a weightlifter, he was wearing a blue collared t-shirt, and jeans. Also his workboots, strangely clean. I asked what he cared about where I slept, and he repeated that it was his 'buddy's store', and that he was there for work.
I said, 'Man, it's July 4th, you probly don't have work today.'
This made him think a bit, he took out a cell-phone and made a call that no one answered, then he stood there looking at me. It was a weird, uncomfortable moment. I suppose I could have just started walking away at any second, but I didn't, I stood there shifting from foot to foot as he stared at me. Then he blurted out, 'You gay?'
I was still half-drunk, and the question annoyed me. It annoyed me because it wasn't the first time I'd heard it; since my teens men had been approaching me, gay men. It also annoyed me because I'd always - like everyone - had moments of fantasy, and questioning my own sexuality. Even so, I stammered, 'No.'
Again, there was an uncomfortable pause as he stood close, intimidatingly close, looking down at me.
'You're not gay, huh?' he said, almost mockingly.
I shrugged, sort of lost in that drunken haze, but undeniably a little excited by the big man.
'Why don't you kiss me right here...' he said, and he pulled the collar of his t-shirt down, revealing a big swathe of his chest and collarbone. I looked at his skin, exactly at my face level, and the sun behind him was glistening off of him, it was so smooth and dark and soft-looking. He leaned forward to me, and without thinking, I puckered up and planted my lips on him.
It felt even softer and smoother than it looked, and it was warm. I popped an instant boner, and without even thinking started tenderly kissing him. The feel of him on my lips had my heart racing.
'Mmm-hmm,' he said easily, 'Now stick out your tongue.'
Again, I didn't think, just did what he said. I pushed the tip of my tongue out against him, felt the muscle and the line of his collarbone and the TASTE of him overwhelmed me. His skin had felt smooth on my lips, but on my tongue it was an impossible silkiness, and so delicious that at first I thought of a particular girl whose legs I used to lick, and immediately I thought that this guy...this GUY tasted better!
'Stick it out some more...' he said expectantly, and I did, feeling and tasting more of him. He made a sound of pleasure, and said, 'Some more, some more...'
I pushed my tongue out then as far as it could go, I was loving it, and then there in the empty break-of-dawn sidewalk I had my fricking tongue out at full extension, lapping it around on the flesh he had exposed to me. I actually started to feel dizzy, and I had to stop, and sat down on the stoop.
He stood closely over me, covering me in his shadow. I was collecting myself. In a way, I thought I might be dreaming.
'So you ain't gay, huh?' he said, again a little mockingly.
'No,' I said, catching my breath, 'I...I've never done anything like that before.'
He tilted his head at me, then said in a coaxing way, 'Come on, do it again. Kiss me right here.'
I saw him pulling his shirt-collar down again, this time even further, and I couldn't help myself. I stood up right away and started licking him like a...like a...I don't know what, there with my tongue sliding all over his chest muscle.
When I started feeling dizzy again, I sat back down. I've always had a tendency to get dizzy, sometimes even faint when I get over-excited, and this guy was doing it to me. I sat there with my heart pounding so hard I thought I might be close to fainting. I heard him talking, 'Why don't you come back with me. To my house.'
Between my drunken-ness and my dizziness I was in a state, but not so much so that I would trust such a stranger, especially not one who looked like he had about a 100 pounds and 8 inches of height on me. I shrugged hesitantly, and said, 'I don't know...'
'Come on,' he said, than after a second, 'You let me fuck you?'
That was a startling, sobering question. Of all the gay ideas that had come into my head, getting fucked had never been one of them. I told him no. He chuckled a little, then suggested we walk together, get a coffee. He must have smelled the booze on me, there's no way he couldn't have.
We did start walking, but there didn't seem to be any coffee joints around. The city normally would have been coming alive, but I guess because it was a holiday, and, I think, a weekend that year, the streets were practically deserted. So we kept walking. Now I got a chance to really look at him. He was kind of nondescript; not ugly, not particularly handsome. His face had no real distinguishing features, other than very short hair. The most striking thing about him was his size, and his walk. I confess, from looking at him I suspected he might have been recently out of jail. Where else can someone work out so much they get so jacked? He was muscly everywhere, his arms and chest were bulging out of his shirt, but I think he wore a tight shirt on purpose, to show off his body.
I told him I wanted to sit down, that all the walking was making me sick, and he knew right where there was a park. Just as we got to a bench, he lifted his shirt from the bottom, and pulled his pants out to adjust himself. I only saw this out of the corner of my eye, but I still noticed protruding defined abs, and saw the flick of his penis in his pants. But it was so fast and sidelong that I couldn't tell much at all. Still, he'd meant to excite me, and he did. For the first time, I thought about his cock. Nothing particular, I just had it on my mind, wanted to see it.
It was all too weird, how it had all happened so fast, our meeting, and now sitting on that park bench together. I felt like I had to say something, so I asked him, 'Does that make me gay, kissing you like that? I mean, is that a gay thing?'
'Yeah,' he said, 'You gay.'
That made me feel defensive, insulted, so I said, 'Well you're gay, too!'
'Yeah, I'm gay,' he said, easily.
I breathed deeply. All fantasies and make-believe washed away, here I was on a park bench with a gay man who was into me, and whose chest I'd kissed, whose contact had made me all hot and dizzy. I had an even better look at him, but the only thing that stood out was now I noticed he had a little stubble. We made some small talk, exchanged names and ages, and at first he didn't believe me, he thought I was older. I assured him I was 22. I think my own stubble had thrown him off. He was 32.
'Why don't you kiss me right here again,' he said, and he pulled his shirt collar down, this time the other side.
I felt a courage welling up inside, I looked around and made sure we were truly alone, and I said, 'There's only one place I wanna kiss you.'
He blinked calmly at me. Dammit, the guy was so calm the whole time, the only emotion in his voice being that little sound he'd made while I was licking his chest. He said knowingly, 'My dick, right?'
I couldn't find any words, so I just shrugged. He stood up and quickly unzipped his pants. I saw he was wearing blue Calvin Klein underwear, clean as can be, and I could see the bulge of him. I didn't know what to do, so I looked up at him. He made a little grimace, reached down, and took himself out.
I was surprised by two things. First, I was surprised that it wasn't very long. For some reason I thought a huge guy like him had to have a mile long tool, but he didn't, in fact, it was shorter than mine. For some reason that made me feel good. The other surprise, though, was how thick it was! To this day it is the thickest cock I've ever seen, even including the thousands of pornos. I sat there looking at it, the tip looked so soft and textured, and I wondered how anyone could ever fit such a thick thing in their mouth.
'Come on,' he coaxed me, 'Nobody around.'
Thoughtlessly, I leaned forward, opened my mouth more widely than I ever have at a dentist's office, and that big tip fit right between my lips. I'd been expecting a sausage flavor, but there was practically no flavor, just that softness. I held my mouth on it, un-moving, and licked it a little. I felt his hand on the back of my head, and I don't know if he leaned in or pulled me forward, but he pushed deeply into my mouth, I felt my jaw stretching and his shaft running over my tongue, but only quickly and he pulled out.
He picked up his backpack, and told me to follow him. He must have known the area well, because he brought us right to this secluded little building (I don't know what it was) behind a ring of high hedges. He told me to get down on the ground, and I did. He unzipped and pulled himself out again, and I noticed a crystal drip hanging from the end. I also noticed he had a downward-pointing erection. My heart was racing with excitement, but for some reason I didn't feel the dizziness. I opened wide and took him in, that little drip tasted tart, slimy, and made me hot as hell! Making sure to keep my lips over my teeth, I started blowing him.
My head started to spin a little, but it was actually not easy sucking on that fat, fat cock of his, so I think my focus kept me grounded. I didn't really have any thoughts, but a realization screaming through my mind, 'I'm blowing him! I'm sucking his cock! This is really happening! My God it's so fuckin' THICK!'
I hadn't been doing it long when I heard him ask quickly, sort of short-of-breath, 'You want me to just cum in your mouth?'
Honestly, I hadn't even thought of that, not at all. But I said, 'Mmm-hmm' the best that I could. Then I did have a thought, pulled off of him and panted, 'Just warn me first, okay?'
'Yeah! Yeah!' he said eagerly.
I took him back in my mouth and kept going. I didn't even really have to 'suck' very much, his cock was forcing my mouth open so hard just moving back and forth over it was plenty of pressure. He was probably 6 inches or so, but so damn THICK that it was hard to take him very deeply.
My first crazed reactions wore off, and I was able to notice things. I noticed how the big tip felt rubbing against my palate, and I noticed a big vein on the underside along my tongue. I was just starting to picture the shape of that vein when I heard him say, 'Uh-huh, I'm gonna cum!'
Instinct took over me, and I did something this girl used to do for me that I loved: I double-timed him. Started blowing him really fast, and then my mouth filled, all of a sudden FILLED. The taste was much stronger than I expected, bitter/salty/sweet but overall so strongly organic, like nothing I'd ever tasted before. It made me think of bleach, but I didn't have much time to think because he kept cumming. I gagged, had another fleeting realization, 'Oh my god, I have to swallow it!', swallowed, but he wasn't finished. The guy came like a porn star, I felt the squirts hitting the back of my throat and ricocheting down INTO my throat. I swallowed again, gagged again, and the last smaller squirts filled the back of my mouth. He must have shot 9 or 10 big ones. He pulled out and I swallowed what was left in my mouth, and I fell over, laying on the ground.
I couldn't believe what I had just done. He was still so calm, though, just sat there beside me as I ran my hands through my hair and babbled some incoherent gibberish about 'oh my god I can't believe I just did that', and 'fuck does this mean I'm gay?' and all kinds of crap. It took me about 5 minutes to get over the drama, and he suggested, again, that I go home with him. But now the Guilt was on me, the raciness of it over I was ashamed. I told him no, that I needed to get home. He scribbled his phone number down on a piece of paper, said that it had been good, and he left me there, dazed in the park.
I waited till I was sure I wouldn't see him on my own way home before leaving the park. On the way past a garbage bin I threw out his number, still feeling very badly about what I'd done. That entire day I felt like I could still taste his semen in my mouth, and I was afraid that everyone could smell it on me, so I kept very much to myself. I also had a bit of a tummy-ache for a while.
I can say now, though, I'm glad that I did it, even though it did not become a lifestyle for me. I know, I'm experienced, I don't doubt or wonder. A few months later hoping to relive the experience I went down to a gay bar to see what would happen, and that would be my last gay experience. But that is another story...