I dont want to do this anymore

"Lemme see if he's home," says Sierra one of my best friends who I known since college 

She came over to my condo because...It's Friday night, our usual turn up night an I always pick her up at 9:30 pm an we go to the hottest club in Dallas! But it's after 10 I'm nowhere to be found so she comes over to my place.....which is like a couple blocks down and she's in for a shock...

"Hello, Aaron...."

"IM SO SICK OF YOU!" 

"MAN FUCK YOU I DONT WANT YOU ANYWAY, BUM ASS NIGGA!" 

Me an my boyfriend Kendall we're on an off again for about a year, he says he loves me, then he does some stupid shit but when I try to leave him it's like....a magnet that pulls me back. Most of the things he did in the past were forgivable but tonite we had a MAJOR fight! I come home and I catch this man on MY sofa smashing some random dude!! I was like an angry housewife I even threw my glass lamp at him as his ass tried to run down the steps! I went as far as taking the teddy bear he won for me at the fair and SET IT ON FIRE! Threw it at him like a Molotov cocktail! Kendall got in his beat up ugly ass Silverado an drove off!! And Sierra just so happen to witness it all! She heard about our troubles but she got a front row seat to what actually goes on...

"Aaron oh my god what happened?"

"(Crying) he was smashing another nigga on my couch, MY FUCKIN COUCH, THROWING IT IN MY FACE AN CALLIN ME OUT MY NAME! I THREW THAT LAMP AT HIM AN IM FUCKIN MAD I MISSED!"

"Awww come here baby," say Sierra as she hugged me

I was just a WRECK! That night was like one of the worst nights of my life! After the tears dried up i woke up the next morning just.....bitter, like my emotions were totally out of whack an then this depression set it. I trusted this nigga with everything in me! An what hurts the most  is that when he did something wrong, made countless mistakes I still loved him! An I wanted to marry him someday....I thought he change, he told me he would change and MY DUMB ASS SHOULDA LEFT HIM THEN! But I wanted that security of a man so bad, and did anything to make it work, letting my standards slip just for some dick! 

Later on that day I came in to this salon me an Sierra own together, near the galleria it was real high class! I was just numb to what was going on so I drowned it out with work.....Sierra saw me an I was just to myself at this cash register, and she wanted to talk,

"Boo, you okay? 

"I'm fine....." I said as I slammed the cash register

"No you ain't! Look it's me.....you can tell me what's going on," 

"Sierra I gave that man my life! An this what he do to me? I feel so stupid! Here I thought things were getting better and yeah he made mistakes but I forgave him!" I said 

"You know sometimes we do things we normally never do in the name of love. Did he make you feel protected? Sierra Asked 

"Yeah he did, like when he would grab me by my waist an hold me, kissing me, and then when we sat on his couch an I lay my head on his chest, then it was like he changed! I don't know what I did that made him betray me like this like I thought I did all could God would bless my relationship...."

"Well at the end of the day don't blame yourself, you did the best you can it's his loss! But Aaron I also don't want you investing so much of yourself into a man, put yourself first! I know he messed you up but you gotta get your life back, get your happiness back!" Sierra Said 

I took the words she said in stride, an she was right, I didn't realize it but I lost so much of myself being with Kendall. On my break I went to Barnes an Noble to get some coffee when I saw Darius sitting by the window..

He been eyeballing me for a minute and he's so fuckin fine, that jawline he had, an he always dressed nice, a part of me wanted to say something to him but I had enough of men for awhile so I didn't say anything, 

"Hey Aaron what's up?" 

"Oh hey Darius," 

"You been good?" 

"I ain't gonna lie I could be better,"

"Look I um know you're taken so, imma get outta here before your dude sees me an Beats my ass,"

"Single......me an him had a bad breakup,"

"Oh wow I didn't know that, you wanna talk about it..."

"BEARCLAW AN A SMALL LATTE, AARON!" 

"I have to go....." I said just dodging his niceness, that deceptive smile of a man ugh, that how it starts they be all "awww what's wrong, you wanna talk about it", trying to be your friend get in your space an then BOOM he's a fuckboy too! How should I know.....Kendall's ass was the same way when we first met, all nice an friendly, an 4 heartbreaks and a dude on my couch later here I am! 

I go sit down and eat my donuts when I saw this gay couple across the room, they were outside just laughing an enjoying each other, he gave him a kiss an then pulled something from his pocket......this nigga got engaged an started crying! Ok God I get it my relationship was a hot mess, you don't have to rub it in! I decided to move to the side where there was these books and one of them was in the hot new read section, it caught my eye. It was called "PLAY THEM LIKE A VIOLIN" by Madame Moriah J, so I read a few pages of it and I was hooked!! The opening monologue  goes like this...

"MEN WILL SAY AN DO ANYTHING TO GET IN YOUR PANTS, THEY ASK FOR THE KEY TO YOUR HEART AN THEN TAKE IT ON A WILD RIDE! THEN BLAME YOU AN MAKE YOU FEEL OBSOLETE, LIKE IM A ISSUE, THEN HE GOES OFF WITH HIS NEW BITCH! THEY ALL HAPPY AN HE ENJOYING HIS GETTIN DICK SUCKED BY A NEW MOUTH....WHILE YOU ARE AT HOME CRYING PITIFUL AS FUCK AN DRUNK ON MERLOT QUESTIONING YOURSELF! GURL BYE I WAS SO TIRED OF THAT, SO I DECIDED TO BE A CHEATER FOR A CHANGE, HOOKED UP WITH SOME GENTLEMEN FRIENDS AN PLAY THEY ASS LIKE A VIOLIN 😂 THIS TIME THEY GON KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE THE ONES CRYING!" 

OH.....MY....GOD! It's like this author knows me an my situation! It's been 5 days and I still was reading the book! On my lunch break and at home instead of watching CNN, I was glued to the book! I came in the shop one day an Sierra saw me reading....

"Aaron you must like that book! You hadn't put it down since Monday." 

"Sierra, this book is like my life story, I related to it so much!"

"So basically she a playa?"

"Yep leading these men along just like they do us! An then breaks their hearts an enjoys the karma! 

"Well Damn! 

Then I saw Darius walking outside, after reading this book, I decided Imma have me a little fun....

"Aaron what's up! Look I know you not interested in another relationship but I just wanna talk,"

"Actually I like that, I'm free tonight, we can go to Briscos grille," 

"Yeah I'll see you then......"

Later on that night, me an Darius went out to eat, he came thru and he smelled so good! That jawline is just so attractive, and his teeth were brighter than my future! Me an him talked a lot and I actually felt real good......I hasn't felt this good in a minute, but time to get what I really came for, 

"Thanks for dropping me off Darius, I really enjoyed this dinner, you're really a nice guy!" 

"Look I know you going through a lot right now  but honestly I wanted to spend some time with you, you're like a real cool dude," 

"Thank you, god you smell so good!" I said as I sniffed him, then we looked into each other's eyes an something happened, 

(Kissing) 

"I- oh wow! That felt good!" I said all astonished 

"You're so amazing, and sexy, and when I look at that pretty dark skin, it's blowing my mind!" 

"How bout I blow something else....." 

And oooh when I said that, Darius started biting his bottom lip and making a smirk, he know what I meant

SUDDENLY WE WENT BACK INSIDE AN DARIUS STARTED TO RIP MY CLOTHES OFF! THIS NIGGA WAS FINNNNNE!! THAT CHEST OF HIS MADE ME DROOL!! HE PUSHED ME ONTO THE COUCH AN PUTS HIS DICK IN MY FACE, I WAS SUCKIN THE SHIT OUTTA IT AN HE MOANED LIKE A BOTTOM! I SUCKED THE BALLS TOO, MADE IT REAL WET AN DARIUS COULDN'T HOLD IT IN, HE LET LOOSE AN CAME ON MY FACE! OH YESS I LOVED THIS BUT HE WASNT DONE YET.....DARIUS WAS STILL HORNY SO HE PINNED ME DOWN AN ATE MY ASS AN I WAS IN HEAVEN, FEELING THAT TONGUE GLIDE ACROSS MY HOLE WHILE HE STROKED MY DICK TILL I BUSSED ALL ON MY COUCH! 

"Damn You was loaded! You like it when devour that ass?" Darius said softly in my ear, as he came from behind an started to gently bite on my ear lobes! 

"Oh yes (moaning), oh my ear that weak spottttttt, please, stay the night," 

The rest of the night we spooned on the couch, when I woke up he even made me breakfast, an then we exchanged numbers an he left. I hadn't felt this good in a long time, my soul an my hole felt like it's been touched by an angel! It was the second Saturday of the month and I went to the barbershop to get my monthly touch up, an there was this other guy who I been eyeballing, Devontae...

He was so sexy, Its summer and it's hot so I see him In his tank top and ooooh it was a sight to behold. I can tell he was gay by the way he looks at me, and one night I was lurking and found his IG, oh yess he follows lots of dudes. Darius is great, but we ain't together or nothin, imma let him THINK we have a future but I'm just havin fun, an gettin me a lil body count.....today Devontae was the only one there, perfect opportunity!  

"Hey Devontae!"

"Yo Aaron, how you been?" 

"I'm good I'm good, just touch up the edges an the sides,"

"I Got you! You been doin alright?"

"I had my days, me an Kendall broke up for real and it been rough, it's like why is this happening to meee, I did everything for him an still was a fuckboy! I'm tellin you I'm over men!" I said acting all dramatic, just like the author said in the book, appear like you're all sad an alone needing male attention, men love to get all cozy with you when you're heartbroken an vulnerable 

"Damn im sorry you had to deal with that, a nigga beautiful like you don't need all that drama!" 

"Awww thank you, you know Devontae I'm really vulnerable right now and it's hard, I just need somebody to talk to..." 

"I mean we can go out for a drink or sum, I'm a good listener, especially to a dude I like..."

"Oh really! You like me?" 

"Hell yeah, I mean Aaron you're like amazing an the way you walk, when wear that crop top an your confidence I really like that," 

"You know what, how bout after you close up we can go out for a drink!" 

It was after 7:30 pm an we was about to leave to hooters, when I got a call from Darius....ugh what this man want?? 

"Hey Darius!!"

"Hey Aaron im free tonite, how bout I come over an we can chill, get cozy on the couch watch some Netflix, do what we did the other night...." 

"Ooooh that sounds real nice but I'm goin out with Sierra, I hope you not mad at me?"

"Oh nah nah have fun, hang with your gurl, I can come over another time," Said Darius as he hung up 

"Was that business?" Asked Devontae as he came over 

"Oh yeah just Sierra asking me to come to the club but, I told her I was busy...." I lied 

Me an Devontae got in his car lord he had this super fast challenger, an watching him drive with that one hand on the wheel all chill, his arms in that tank top oooh! And his man scent  was permeating the car, that natural musk from under his arms an his pants had me turned the fuck on! We had so much fun at the bar; all it took was a couple drink an we got super drunk, he had such a sexy laugh an I had a good time, we finally exchanged numbers and he was in my contacts for future references...Turns out his apartment is like down the block from the bar so we were stumbling around till we got inside, then one thing led to another an we ended up in his room....an we're both horny, 

"Oh my god, (laughing), that 3rd gin an lemonade was gooooood!"

"Yeahhhhh, You like my place?"

"Oooooh I see a football trophy, you use to be a baller?"

"A running back, Star in my high school, but damn you look good, lemme turn on some music...." 

"Smooth jazz, you got real good taste in music, an you smell soooo fuckin goood!"

"Under my arms, yeah that's the smell of a hard workin hustlin nigga, a lil musty tho...."

"Boyyy I don't care, it's turning me onnnn! Devontae I been really goin thru it with Kendall an talkin to you is great but, I hadn't had none in a while, I need a real man!" I said as I gently touched him an rubbed his arm. Then my drunk ass got on his bed, took off my shirt and my pants, I had on no underwear....I was on my hands an knees as I watched him take off his top, that damn body! 

"I NEED YOU DEVONTAEEE!" 

"You need me...."

"I NEED YOUUU,"

THEN DEVONTAE MADE A MOVE AN KISSED TF OUTTA ME! AN HE PICKED MY LIL ASS UP AN HIS GRIP OOOOH, HE GRIPPED ME LIKE A FOOTBALL! HE BIT MY NECK AN STARTED SUCKIN ON THE SKIN, I-...I ALMOST FAINTED!! THEN HE TOLD ME TO GET ON MY BACK, AS HE GOT ON TOP AN PUT HIS HAIRY ASS MUSKY ARMPIT IN MY FACE!! I SNIFFED AN LICKED LIKE CRAZY! THEN I LIFT MY LEGS UP KNEES BEHIND MY HEAD! THEN HE GOT THAT CINNAMON APPLE FLAVORED LUBE AN DRIPPED IT ON MY HOLE! USED HIS FINGER AN SPREAD IT AROUND I WAS MOANIN ALREADY! THEN HE SLOWLY WENT IN THERE AN HE HAD THAT SLOW LONG STROKEE OH LORDDD! IT HIT THE SPOT AN I MOANED LIKE A BITCH! 

"(Moaning)"

"Yeah, you like them strokes, an ooh look at that cream!" 

"My legs are shaking!" 

"Shit, oh god, I don't want to pull out, nigga- I- OOOOOH," 

Devontae released a big one an he was drained! He got out every drop till he finally pulled out an then he passed out! Now I heard dudes say my goodies was A1 but I never made a man pass out before! Like he was was dead asleep.... after about 30 minutes an gettin a much needed rag (chuckle) I put on my clothes an got my Uber, and while I was sitting in the car with my hole still recovering, I was like yessss got another one! Now I know how these fuckboys feel just doin what they want to do, but I wasn't done yet.....

The next day I was in the salon with Sierra and she saw the glow on my face! She know sumthin was up we ain't hung out in 2 weeks...

"How you been boo, I ain't seen you in awhile, Darius treating you good!"

"Darius and Devontae!" 

"Oooooh look at you! Two men at the same time!"

"Yes, I got options bitch, and speaking of options.....

Then the door opened and it was our fine ass delivery guy, Nick, and oooh just watching him lift that heavy Fedex package putting in work.....I wonder what his package looks like?

He had that thickness, that delicious thick belly and matching thighs that made him an instant daddy in my book! He was on his way out and I decided to make him option number 3...

"You eyeballing Nick?" Sierra asked

"Oh hell yes, imma get him!" 

"How you gon get him he gone now?" 

"Oh don't worry I got ways!" 

That night I was on amazon buying some shit for the salon, but I also invited Darius over to keep me company. I'm trying to order somethin on my phone an Darius assaulting my cheek with his kisses....I ain't complaining tho! This dude really knows how to treat a guy! He came over an he rubbed my feet, then he became a chef an whipped up some pasta, an we ate it on my patio with some wine. 

(Kissing) 

"Mmm....that was wasn't in the recipe!" 

"Nah, its just a lil extra spice ya know."

"Thanks for comin over, I had such a long day and I really needed a man."

"I mean hey, you called an I couldn't let my friend be all lonely...."

"Oh shit.......really, moms back home havin issues I gotta go!" Said Darius as he jumped up 

"Awww I hope your mom is okay?"

"It's Alzheimer's, but you alright?"

"Ill be fine, damn you look good in that blazer, and nigga what cologne is that you wearing?"  I asked all admired 

"It's Versace, you likey?

"Ooooh papi, listen I know this great late night movie, think about it, barely anybody there, empty theatre, you thinkin what I'm thinkin...."

"Yeah, we should do it tommorow, I'm free!"

"Okay......(kissing) byeeee!" 

Then Darius left, oh I'm smitten by him, like I don't wanna play him he a real one.....but I ain't got time to be serious I'm havin too much fun! Suddenly My phone rang an it was Devontae..

"Heyyyyy"

"Baby, you know time it is?

"It's 11:30 at night...."

"It's time for me to tear that ass up, bring yo cute ass ova here!"

"(Chuckle) An why should I...."

"Cuz I'm layin on my  bed naked, my dick hard, jumpin up an down, thinkin bout you, I want you to ride it like a moped, while I'm gripping that ass rockin the bed, put both my fingers in that pretty hole wiggle em inside while you start squealin!"

"(Moan) I'LL BE THERE IN 25 MINUTES!"

I spent the rest of the night at Devontaes place, gettin that WORK! Devontae had that rough vibe I was diggin, and I loved the fact he dont shave nothin, wasn't afraid to smell like a MAN an he let my freak ass smell it! After we had sex Devontae laid next to me, and he started tellin me about his life, the shit he been thru, an when I opened up I even had a vulnerable moment; when I talked about how issues with my dad and how that led me to lots of dudes including Kendall, trying to find that comfort of a man, a man that would love me like my dad never did! Devontae saw the tears comin out and he held me, he even wiped them off for me and being coddled in his big arms really warmed my heart! The next day I came to the salon and I was in a good ass mood! Sierra saw me all happy an she wanted all the tea!

"You are really enjoying this arent you?"

"Yesssss, last night Darius came over an he made me dinner, an smelled good, ooooh that cologne he wears.....its like callin me over to him! Then Devontae called an he got all nasty, I hopped on the freeway for that dick!" 

"(Laughs) Reallly??

"YES! But then after he fucked me we laid there at 2 am an talked, he told me about how his fam don't fuck with him after he came out an how his sister an his auntie are both dead, which really shook him up emotionally but he cant show it, and then I told him about how I felt that void from my dad not being there, and when I tell you Devontae held me, It melted my heart!"

"So you in love? Or are you still having fun?"

"I mean i'm still havin fun gurl dont get it twisted, we just had a moment but just watch they all nice an sweet now, but when I ask for a commitment he'll go mess it up!  

"Just be careful? Love is hard to lose but its just as easy to get caught up in..."

"I know,but i figure having all these dudes is a good thing, cuz if one of them fucks up then it wont hurt as bad cuz I wasn't so emotionally invested into them like Kendall,"

"I can see that, but like I said just be careful,"

It was after 2 in the afternoon and the shop wasnt that busy so Sierra decided to go home early, I'll stay for another hour or so........and a good reason cuz, I got a delivery.

"Hey I got another package for you," said Nick  as his fine thick ass came in   

"Well Nick if you have a minute I actually ordered that thing just to get you to come down here,"

"Oh really, dont you have a boyfreind...."

"Not anymore, i'm single and looking at yo thick ass makin me tingle!

"You know, this was actually my last stop, i'm off work now an i'm single too, im just keepin it 100 I aint lookin for a relationship tho, but I been eyeballing you every time I came up in here, lookin like a Klondike bar with a small waist"

"I mean I ain't lookin for nothin serious either so you cool....

(Lightning strikes) 

"Damn, it's raining hard out there! Looks like you gon have to stay inside for a while.....oooh lemme (bends over) pick up this box," I said as I bent down tootin that ass up in front of him, he liked that

Then Nick came from behind me an I felt this hard thing rub against me......I knew what that meant! Nick then grabbed me from behind low key chokin me an roughly kissed my neck! 

"You gon do what I tell you to do...."

"(Moan) Yessss, yesss"

"I want you to get on that chair an open ya legs, don't you fuckin run or nothin!"

I DID WHAT HE TOLD ME TO DO, I GOT ON SIERRAS CHAIR (AINT GON TELL HER THO) AN I OPENED MY LEGS LIKE HE WANTED! NICK CAME OVER AN UNZIP MY SHORTS, AN LIKE A BEAST HE TORE THEM OFF SO QUICK, THEN HE GOT ON HIS KNEES AND TICKLED MY BALLS WIT HIS TONGUE! THEN ENGULFED MY BALLS SUCKIN ON THEM LIKE A BLOW POP STROKIN MY DICK TILL I NUTTED ALLOVER HIS HAND, AN IT WAS SUCH A SENSATION I WAS SQUEALIN!! THEN HE WHIPPED OUT HIS PIPE AN FORCEFULLY PULLED ME TOWARDS HIM AN HIS THICK ASS WENT INSIDE, POUNDED THE FUCK OUTTA ME! HE WAS GRUNTIN, THE CHAIR ALMOST BROKE SHIT! MY ASS WAS CLAPPING LOUD LIKE THE THUNDER OUTSIDE! THEN NICK PULLED OUT AN CAME, THIS BOY WAS A SHOOTER GODDAYUM, BUT HE WASNT DONE....HE GOT ON HIS KNEES AN HE TONGUE FUCKED MY HOLE, THEN BURIED HIS FACE IN IT, EATIN THAT ASS LIKE A COOKIE MONSTER! AN I THOUGHT DARIUS WAS THE BEST ASS EATER, SHITTTTT HE AINT GOT NOTHIN ON NICK! 

It was all finally over and my legs were practically shaking! The storm finally cleared and I had to clean up the mess off Sierra chair! Nick pulled me closer an I had to rub on his hairy chest, 

"Damn, that's all I can say (chuckle)" 

"I know, i was surprised you could shoot that far like that I never seen a dude nut like that before!"

"Listen, here my number, im off tomorrow an Friday, I can come over to yo place an we can do this again!" 

"So we fuck buddies?" I asked 

"Pretty much (chuckle)" 

Then Nick gave me his number and now I was entertaining 3 niggas at the same time....and to be honest if I had to choose tween Nick, an Darius an Devontae, ugh thats a hard one but I choose Devontae, he's rough but real sweet and that long stroke is somethin I cant give up! Later on that day me and my second fav Darius was takin a long hot shower with me, oooooh it feels so good to feel up on his wet ass, sloppy kissin me and puttin me up against the wall! Oh I can get used to this, to be honest this what a lot of men want: to chill with you now an again, constantly fuckin you with no strings attached, no talk about commitment or marriage or anything beyond friendly convos, dudes these days don't want to settle down they get bored easily. And no matter how well you treat him, or how many times you overlook his mistakes, he still will cheat and lie, and then blames YOU, sayin I didn't enough this or I was too controlling about that, so I figure fuck all the serious relationship shit, it never works out so imma just have fun! I was on my couch and shirtless Darius came over, put his arm around me,  

"I was thinkin we watch that new netflix movie, order some pizza and you can stroke my dick,"

"Mmmmm, I like that, oh shit you got pizza comin!"

"Yep, an your favorite, Pizza Hut! and I got those cinnamon sticks which comes with this thick icing...."

"Shit you givin me ideas with that icing," Darius said as he started doin that lip bite again

(Doorbell)

"HERE HE IS!"

Darius then left to the bathroom an I opened the door expecting to see Pizza Hut, but I got somethin totally unexpected...

"NICK!"

"Yeah I told you I was off today, you texted me to come over, and i'm ready for a round two nigga!" 

"Look uh right now aint a good time..."

"Nah you know you want daddy!" said Nick as he grabbed me an started to kiss me.....real good, then Darius came in

"YO WHO THE FUCK IS THIS!"he shouted 

"NIGGA WHO ARE YOU?" Nick shouted back

"Im the man that handles his business an pleasin the fuck outta him!" Darius said as he grabbed me towards him

"Please I gave him the best dick of his life, had him moanin like a bitch! HE WANTS ME!" Shouted Nick as he pulled me towards him 

"Bruh he dont want no big barney ass nigga he wants me, he wants me an my banging body," proclaimed Darius

"Actually I want Devontae....."

"WHO???"

"Aaron what in the hell is goin on?" Nick asked

"I been screwin all three of you at the same time, oooh i'm such a playa! But this gone on long enough and I dont wanna fuck wit yall anymore, we had nothin serious no feelings, its been fun an but hopefully you two will understand,"

"Yeah I understand you a HOE! See, see this why I dont get into relationships you dudes untrustworthy, wasted all that nutt!" said Nick as he walked away 

"Darius i'm sorry-"

"Aht aht save it! I really thought there was gonna be somethin, since now we tellin the TRUTH, yeah Aaron I kinda had feelings for you even tho we was just chillin an sexin, You was hurt by Kendalls ass an I gave you what I thought you wanted, to be honest I woulda treated you right cuz I thought a guy so venerable like you would appreciate it ....but I just want you to be happy bro so do what you gotta do!" said Darius as he left

LORD IM GLAD THATS OVER! But then after an hour or so I kinda felt bad, like shit....I JUST WANTED TO GET MY POWER BACK! I WAS SO SICK AN TIRED OF MY SOUL BEING TRASHED BY THESE DUDES, I FIGURE IF I THREW IT BACK AT THEM I FEEL BETTER! BUT NOW I FEEL WORSE....ITS LIKE I DONT KNOW WHO'VE I BECOME! I sat in that empty apartment feelin so bad, when I figure I still got Devontae, now that I dropped the other two I can make it right with him and who knows he might be the one I need. 

I get in my car, put on somethin real cute, and brought my jock strap with me.....I wanted to give Devontae a show, an then after I repented for my sins real quick, I told god that I'll make it work with Devontae since I feel we have a connection. He wasn't home so I parked on the side of the street waiting for him......then I saw his car pull-up, but I was in for a surprise!

"Come here baby, (kissing)"

"Look Tae im ready to make it work, I don't care what you did before, I love you...." said this man 

"Richie I love you too, listen I gotta ready for work but later on we can go the Applebee's or something," 

"Okay, I'll see you later!"

I watched the whole thing! He was talkin to this dreadhead dude an they was all close an then they kissed!! I....I had to ask his ass what's up!

"Devontae!"

"Aaron...look we gotta talk!"

"Who is he?"

"That's Richie, my ex, we gettin back together,"

"I- wow, ain't this some shit, so so what was all that yoooou sooo amazinggg an yoooou neeeed a reallll maaaaan, an when I told you about my issues at 2am in yo bed, you held me! What was that??"

"Look.....i know what I said, shit we wasn't even doin nothin major, but me an Richie been together for 6 years an we both made a mistake so we didn't talk for 4 months an I thought he moved on, then you came an yeah I been crushing on you but, it's over! Richie is the one I love I'm not giving him up! I'm sorry"

"No I'm sorry.....look I gotta go!"

"Aaron please don't hate me!"

"I don't hate you, I'm just disappointed but listen, you have love in your life, an you deserve to be with him y'all have a bond...and who am I to come in tween that," 

I got in my car an just sat there for a minute, then I cried my eyes out.....I went from havin the time of my life being a playa, to gettin into more heartbreak an winding up all alone, damn I really messed up! I took that damn book an just threw it in the trash, cuz that's where it belongs! When I got back to the salon I was depressed like never before, an Sierra noticed, 

"Hey boo what's wrong?"

"I thought I was havin fun, being a playa an havin all these dudes, but they found out what I was doing an it all backfired, turns out Darius was havin some feelings for me, then I went to see Devontae hoping we had somethin but he reunited with his ex, an now here I am alone,"

"It's okay, thru all this you learned a valuable lesson honey, don't confuse your heart, you can't screw all those dudes an not have feelings, you were venerable you was hurt an you tried to heal it by becoming somethin you're not an god had to like stop you in yo tracks." 

"I just wanna be loved!" 

"You are loved! I love you, these stylists in here love you, your family an other freinds they love you, learn to love yourself, Aaron ever since I met you you always were wit some kind of man, being alone is not of the end of the world! Plus use this single life as a revaluation, go to the root of whatever is making you so needy an stamp that shit out! Then when you truly ready he'll come...." 

I took those words to stride, and wow she's right....I wish somebody woulda told me this at 19, 20 but I really need to love ME! That night as I went back home to a empty apartment, I just sat there for a minute, no dudes callin my phone no Darius knockin at my door, an earlier I was hella tempted to text him a long sorry message but I held myself together an deleted his number! You know I was scared to be alone because I seen my mom who was a single parent an not havin that person to talk to an lay with at night really scared me! But I gotta stand on my two feet, and I don't need a dude to validate me, IM GONNA LOVE MYSELF! 

The end