It was during my sophomore year of college that I really explored my homosexuality to its fullest. The previous semesters had been filled with roommate troubles, financial uncertainty, class anxiety, and the adjustment to being away from home for months for the first time. Knowing I was gay since I was 11 made my younger life hell as well. It also didn't help that I was born with a medical problem that would eventually result in a kidney transplant. I struggled through doctor appointments, bullying, and the loss of my father while trying to find my true path in the world.

At this point, I will describe myself. I stand 6 feet in stockings with a thin frame from years of cycling and swimming. Once away from home, I cut my dark brown hair and had it frosted into a more current style. Never being able to grow any facial hair, I kept myself clean shaven. People always told me my sapphire blue eyes were my best feature but I preferred my smile, obtained from years of braces. My only other major trait was a long tail of hair that ran down my back that I had been growing since I was 16. It was my own personal little fashion statement but I kept it under my shirt most times.

My first year schedule was so intense that there was little time left to have any sort of social life. A roommate who made my life hell, night and day, didn't help much either. So when I returned for my next session, I made certain that I had a room to myself to avoid those problems. Because my grades were so good, I even obtained a work study financial assistance package. After some searching, I found I position working in the college library on the business and science floor. Since my major was computerized accounting, this gave me access to any research I might need for my classes. The job involved some shelving of books, checking things in and out, as well as assisting other students with locating requested information.

Another benefit of living alone was the ability to work in the nude if I wanted. After my father passed, it was only my mother and I. While she was at her job, I walked my house in the buff since I found clothing very restricting. Afraid of being a tad bored, my grandmother Rose taught me to knit and crochet. Both crafts were highly mathematical in nature and kept my hands agile. Part of my health problem was joint stiffness and potential arthritis so any activity to prevent either was helpful. It also allowed me to be able to create custom gifts for family and friends.

Classes started off as usual for a sophomore student. Most of the courses were still designed to fulfill the general education requirements for my degree program. I did meet a couple of other gay men who introduced me to the local Gay/Straight Alliance. There I began to develop a social network as well as a couple of regular fuck friends. It was a good beginning to a year that I hoped would be better than my first.

One afternoon, I was shelving books and magazines on my floor when I heard a deep voice ask about a particular periodical. Turning around, I found myself looking into the most handsome face I had seen so far at college. He stood about 6 feet 2 inches tall with wide shoulders and a trim waist. His legs belonged to someone who was more athletic than I. The man had the deepest emerald green eyes, sleek nose and full kissable lips. His hair was a deep auburn, cut to just above his shoulders along with a neatly trimmed beard.

Shaking my head to clear the cobwebs, I stuttered, "I'm sorry, sir. Which magazine?"

He chuckled and replied, "My name is Michael O'Shea and I'm hardly a sir. This is my first year of teaching here" Extending his hand, he asked for the latest copy of a botany journal that I knew we had not yet put out for regular circulation.

"I'm Robert Anton," I answered, shaking his hand. "That magazine is currently for limited circulation only."

It hadn't been entered into the computer data system yet so was being kept in our limited circulation room to avoid loss. I offered to get the issue but informed him it could only be checked out with an ID and then only for one hour. According to him, that was fine since ha said he only needed to copy an article for one of his classes. I ran to the room and grabbed the issue. Showing him the copy machine, I returned to my shelving work since there was still an hour or more to finish. By the time I had gotten through half of my cart, he came to return the magazine to me.

"Thank you for your help." Mike said. "If you are ever in the main science building, stop by my office."

I blushed deeply as he walked away from me. Maybe it was my imagination but I swore that he had been flirting with me. He was extremely handsome and right in line with the type of man I fancied. The only real problem was the fact that he was a teacher while I was a student. Chalking the whole experience up to my own fantasy, I finished my work and then checked out at the end of my shift. I smiled as I passed the science building before reaching my dorm room.

Grabbing dinner in the cafeteria, I read over part a book for my Pre-Colombian history class. Back in my room, I gathered my laundry and washed a small load while continuing to study. Returning to my room, I put away my clean clothing before settling down to watch some television and eat a pint of ice cream. After the show was finished, I ran to brush my teeth before changing into my sweats to go to bed. As I drifted off to sleep, my final though was of Michael O'Shea and what he might look like naked. My dreams were filled of erotic adventure involving he and I everywhere I could imagine, The morning came too quickly and I resumed my hectic schedule.

I was enrolled in a Basic Astronomy class that met in the sciences building. Entering class, I took my seat as we went over our last quiz and homework assignment before starting that day's lesson. Science was not my favorite subject so this was a safe course for me. After the session ended, I gathered my books to head to the computer lab for a free hour to work on a paper. Turning a corner, I ran directly into Michael, spilling my things all over the hallway.

As we stooped to gather my scattered items, he laughed and softly said, "So this is one way to meet me again."

Blushing, I couldn't even utter a reply. He helped me finish pulling myself together before expertly guiding me through the now vacant corridor. Once away from prying eyes, Michael whispered in my ear that I must be stalking him. I was too shocked to reply so I just headed for the nearest exit. Looking over my shoulder, I could see him smiling as I fled his presence.

After finishing my work in the computer lab, I grabbed a quick snack in the student union since I had some time to kill. My next appointment was a midday shift at the library to organize my section of the book stacks. I placed my backpack in the office and headed to the assigned shelves to begin the task of straightening up the mess left by other students. Working quietly and slowly, I was only interrupted once by an individual looking for a particular book. Returning to my area, I found Michael O'Shea waiting for me.

"Can I help you, Mr. O'Shea?" I asked, as calmly as possible.

Smiling, he simply said, "No, I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Standing erect, I replied, "I'm just fine but I do have to finish my work."

With that said, he nodded, bid me adieu, and left turning to see if I was watching him leave. From that day on, he made every attempt to see me either as I left astronomy class or at work. Finally after about ten days of this behavior, I found out where his office was located and what his hours were. Dressing as plainly as I could, I prepared to confront him about his apparent obsession. For reasons I couldn't understand at the time, I had showered and shaved as well as using cologne before going to his office.

Locating his door, I stood in front of his door for what seemed like an eternity. Gathering my courage, I finally managed to knock and waited for a response. I held my breath as I heard footsteps approach and the doorknob twist. Opening the door, Michael stood there with a large smile plastered on his face. Stepping back, he gestured for me to enter and take a seat. Closing the door behind me, he sat down and grinned as he looked into my face.

"Well, this is a surprise." he said. "What can I do for you, Robert?"

Clearing my throat, I stammered, "I came to speak to you about your constant stalking of me."

He explained that he thought I was attractive and had seen me at the school's GLBT Organization, where he was a faculty advisor. Before approaching me, he had made certain that I was not a student that he might one day be teaching. Satisfied that I was a business student who only needed a minimal science course for general credits, he became determined to meet and woo me.

I was absolutely shock because up to that point nobody had ever found me interesting enough to want to know. Occasionally, I would get together with a fellow student for some bedroom fun but I had never found someone with whom I could build a future. As we sat and talked, I noticed little things about him, such as the slight twinkle in his eyes when he laughed, the way his hair shone when he moved and other little things that made him even more handsome.

"I would like to show you something I consider very special." he said standing.

Leaving my jacket in his office, he escorted me through the quiet halls of the Sciences Building to a large metal door that is painted dark green. We entered the small, attached greenhouse used for on-campus botany classes. Michael turned and locked the outer door before escorting me deeper in the room. Pointing out some of the rare and endangered plants, his hand never left my waist and his lips stayed close to my ear. The temperature was understandably high given the various types of plants housed in this facility but I was getting chills from his breath on my neck.

I was tingling all over as he tenderly directed us to a small seating area in a far corner. It was surrounded by huge palms and other thick tropical foliage that provided excellent cover from prying eyes. Sitting down, he pulled me next to him before speaking again.

"I had hoped you come see me." Michael cooed. "You are very adorable, you know."

Nodding, I started to open my mouth to speak when he leaned over and kissed me. His tongue and mine fought while his hands tugged furiously at my clothing. As he nibbled my ear, I found myself on the sofa with my shirt being opened by his strong hands. They were warmer than even the room seemed to be and I felt electricity flowing everywhere he touched me. I used my own trembling fingers to unbutton his shirt, revealing a well-formed chest with a light dusting of hair leading down to his waistband. We continued to kiss as our now bare chests press against one another with his powerful body on top of mine. I can still feel the softness of his hair against my smooth skin as we made out.

He moved down my torso using his slick tongue to raise the nerves on my skin. Reaching my jeans, he nervously unbuckles my belt before undoing my top button. Slowly, he worked the zipper down exposing my clean blue jockey shorts underneath. Sliding my jeans down my legs, he knelt at my feet staring at me in only my underwear and began kissing up my legs. By now, my cock is straining against the thin fabric to be released, but he teased me by nibbling it until the cloth is soaked completely.

Begging for him to take me, he gradually takes down my jockey shorts and swallows my dick in one move. I gasped and played with his hair, while thrusting myself deeper into his fiery mouth. Michael used his mouth like a vacuum to provide an almost unbreakable seal around my cock. He sucked up and down my shaft making sure to attack the sensitive crown each time he reached the top. Just when I feared I would not last, he pushed my legs up and exposed my tender rosebud. Muttering something about how sexy I looked, he dove at me and got me soaking wet as well as hornier than I thought possible.

As he prepared my ass for his use, Michael removed his own pants and underwear revealing a thick, cut 9 inch erection that was dripping in anticipation. Being careful about sexual diseases (this being prior to HIV), he pulled a condom from his discarded shirt pocket and covered his monster before adding some lubricant which he also had with him. Placing my ankles on his broad shoulders, he sliced his thick 9 inches effortlessly into me reaching places I never knew existed. Leaning down, he gazed into my eyes before kissing me passionately. Then he teased me as he threatened to withdraw completely, so I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist. He chuckled and filled me up once more. The next moments were filled with him making my ass his home and causing sensations never expected by me.

"You're amazing," he stammered between thrusts.

"So are you," I roughly replied.

Soon words became unnecessary as our passion increased as did his movements. I was desperate for him to claim me and spurred him on by pulling him deeper and closer. His breathing became shallower signaling his impending orgasm so I took my dripping dick in my hands and tried to match his pace. A few precious minutes later and he screamed as he filled the condom with his warm, thick seed. Feeling him cum, my semen erupted all over my chest and even hit my chin. It was one of the most intense sex acts I had ever experienced.

We lay there for several minutes until our bodies became strong enough to again support us. Attempting to redress ourselves as neatly as possible, we made small talk. Michael had just gotten his first college teaching position and was on probation pending the outcome of student reviews. I laughed and said if he taught as well as he fucked, then his job was secure. He turned out to be only five-and-a-half years older than me so we had some things in common. One odd connection was his love of quilting ad needlework. I had done some of both and found them equally as interesting and relaxing as knitting.

Once dressed, we made our way back to get my things before parting ways for the afternoon. I continued to the computer lab where I soon finished the paper I needed for my history class. Eating dinner with a couple of my new friends, we decided to go bowling at the student center since it was Friday. Dropping off my books and changing clothes, our little group of eight made our way across the quad.

We entered to find the lanes were free and paid our fees to get two side-by-side. Renting our shoes and finding some balls, we soon began proving how bad each of us was at bowling. It had been several months since I last went but I still turned out to be among the better players. After the first game, I volunteered to grab some fries and sodas as they started the second round.

Going up to the concession area, I placed our order, gave them our lane numbers, and paid before turning to leave. Once again, I ran smack into Michael, who was with an older gentleman in a suit. Stammering an apology and pretending not to recognize him, I practically ran back to the lanes. Our food arrived a few moments later as we were halfway through the second game. I could see Michael being led around the building and tried my hardest to focus on my bowling. My game did suffer a little but I still came out closed to the top among our octet.

We decided to have a third game, which was kind of a tie-breaker for some. This was my best score by far with me reaching a 220. I had never gotten a total that high so it was a personal best. Returning the balls to the racks and our shoes to the desk, we headed back to the dorm. I stopped to pick up some soda and candy before retreating to my room. It was a fun evening as my phone rang. Answering, I found my mom was missing me and wanted to chat for a little.

We talked and she mentioned that she was seeing a man who worked for the computer department where she worked as a distribution manager. She seemed excited for us to meet and since Thanksgiving was in three weeks, we made plans to do it at that time. I had hoped she would finally find someone since I would be graduating and moving out on my own,

No sooner had I hung up with my mom than the phone rang again. This time, I heard that same deep voice from the library on the other end. Michael spoke softy and asked me to meet him at local pizza parlor that was open all night o Fridays and Saturdays. Deciding to be bold, I showered and changed before rushing over to find him waiting patiently outside for me. Going in, we were seated and he ordered a pitcher of root beer and a large stuffed cheese-and-sausage pizza.

We ate and talked about our lives and our educations like two people on a date rather than teacher and student. It was very romantic but I feared it would never lead anywhere because of his position. Finishing our meal, he had the rest of the pizza boxed for me and we left to walk around the quad. It was a cool but clear night and our conversation flowed like water over a cliff. Soon we were at his apartment and he led me inside where we made passionate love until the early morning.

Saturday came and I woke to find him bringing me breakfast in bed. This would be the first of many weekends we spent together. I found myself falling deeper and deeper in love but was truly scared of being hurt when he was forced to give me up for his job. Our dates remained quite surprisingly public and he even asked me to go to a faculty brunch as his guest. It was a strange Sunday as we mingled with other professors and student assistants. At one point, a female colleague, who was a close friend of Michael's, took me aside.

"You do know that he has informed the dean that he is dating you." Catherine said. "He wants to be able to be open so there is no appearance of impropriety."

"No, I didn't know." I stammered. "I was afraid he might lose his job because of me."

She chuckled and replied, "He cares more about you than any other man he has ever dated."

Catherine had been one of Michael's closest friends since they were in elementary school. She had helped him come out to his family and even introduced him to his first boyfriend. Over the years, Michael had turned to her whenever he had a breakup or found someone new. When he met me, she saw him happier than ever before and could tell from meeting me that I loved him too. She only asked me not to hurt him if I truly wasn't serious about our relationship because she worried about him. I promised her that I had no intention of doing anything but love him.

Towards the middle of my spring semester during the school break, Michael took me to a local bed-and-breakfast for a real couples vacation. We had a large suite, complete with a Jacuzzi tub. The resort offered quiet lake cruises and carriage rides through the local state forest. I was sure this would be the moment that it would all end for us. The last full evening, he took me to an expensive meal and even had a secluded table booked. I was fearful and nervous throughout the entire meal. When they brought out a dessert he had ordered ahead I didn't think my stomach could handle anymore.

As the waiter set the crystal bowl with a huge banana split in front of me, my eyes caught a glint of gold on the top of the mountain of whipped cream. Sitting there, held in place the stemmed maraschino cherries, were two beautiful silver bands with three small stones in each, Looking up, Michael smiled, rose, and got down on one knee by my side. Taking my hand, he calmly asked me to be his partner forever and I almost shouted yes before crying. The restaurant erupted in applause as he slipped my ring on my hand and I returned the favor. This led to a night of passion I had only dreamed would ever happen to me.

Our relationship was now more permanent than ever and he even informed his supervising professor about it. After an internal investigation just to insure that we had never been in a teacher-student relationship, we were given their blessing and moved in together that May. I eventually completed my intense computer accounting degree and landed a position at a local nationwide insurance company. This allowed Michael to continue to teach and pursue his Masters in Botany.

We bought a medium sized home and even had two children through surrogate mothers. The boys, Andrew and Richard after our fathers, have grown like weeds and our lives have never been better. We even built a greenhouse onto our suburban home and have cultivated orchids and a large rose garden, creating special cross-bred varieties. Michael and I occasionally pretended to relive the first time we met as a way to reconnect with each other. He was still as handsome now as he was then. To think it all began with a request for a not-yet- public botany magazine and a college greenhouse. Thank God for science and libraries!!!!!

It has been almost two years now since I lost him to a drunk driver. Our sons are both in college and have done their best to get me to move on with my life. How do I explain that I already found and lost my life? Part of my grieving process was to write this story as a way to perhaps let him go. I will always love Michael and still live in the home we built. Recently, I even created a special cross-bred rose variety that I hope will turn out to represent him well.

I will forever love you Michael O'Shea and my life was never the same after we met. Even with the pain of your loss, I wouldn't change a single moment. Rest well my love.

Robert Anton-O'Shea



Harrison Westbourne

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