Good Dick Will Make You

Chapter One

Ever since the tender age of fifteen when I accepted the fact that I was indeed a homosexual, I vowed that I would NEVER, EVER conduct myself in a way that was indicative of being an old trifling ass faggot. No God! I wasn’t going to be out here snapping my fingers, smacking my lips, and randomly reading people for the sake of reading. I was not about to throw my ass in the air every time a hard dick walked into the room and I would NEVER, EVER, allow myself to fall into the trap of getting romantically involved with one of these straight identifying trade ass negros.

Up until three months ago I could proudly say that I, Savion Ro’Nique Valentine, aged 26, had no criminal record, had perfect credit, was drug and disease free, had only been sexually active with three men, and had Never, Ever slept with a man who was some woman’s husband, boyfriend or baby daddy. I was a proud and productive young, black, homosexual man. All of that shit changed when I got into an entanglement with Pharaoh Jones.

So, here is what happened: three months ago, I was in the middle of moving into my new town house. I had saved my coins from working as a bank teller and my little side hustle of doing make up for thirsty ass Instagram models trying to get a come up and desperate ass local drag queens filming their umpteenth audition video for RuPaul’s Drag Race and was able to purchase the home with cash. I was also able to afford professional movers and not have to rely on family and so - called friends who would handle my shit like bulls in a China shop and then expect me to either pay them, feed them, or smoke them out. No God!

Anyway, I had just started to unpack boxes and began organizing my kitchen when someone knocked on my door. I assumed it was the head of the housing committee coming through to give me the 411 on all the do’s and don’ts of having my own damn bought and paid for house be a part of their quaint little neighborhood. To my surprise it was a tall, muscular, dark skinned, sexy ass brother with a clip board. He worked for the moving company. In my excitement to finally move into my own damn spot, I’d completely neglected to check out any of the moving men. I thanked God for whatever the issue was that brought this fine ass man to my door.

“Excuse me, Mr. Valentine, but I forgot to get you to sign this invoice and provide you with a receipt. It has been a busy day and I do apologize for the inconvenience.”

“No need to apologize. I really do appreciate you for coming all the way back Mr._”

“Jones,” He smiled handing me the clipboard and a felt tip pen. “Pharaoh Jones.”

Pharaoh’s smile had my ass on fire. It didn’t make any sense for one human being to be that damn sexy.

“Pharaoh, now that’s a name if ever I heard one.” I signed my name and handed the board and pen back to him.

“Well, my parents had high expectations for me.”

“And have you met them?”

“Most of them. I mean, I haven’t purchased my own house yet, but I have managed to reach my mid -twenties gainfully employed with no criminal record.”

“I know that’s right. I am hoping that those things become a trend among our generation of black men.”

“Amen to that. Look, I have to get back to work, but why don’t I give you my number and you give me yours? I would really like to hang out with you and get to know you better once you’re all settled in.”

Those words out of Pharaoh’s mouth had my asshole feeling delightfully moist. I eagerly exchanged numbers with him.

“Great.” He smiled, causing the moisture in my ass to intensify. “I am looking forward to us getting together soon.”

When he left, I immediately went about the task of getting my house in order. The sooner I finished the sooner I could have that fine ass man all up and through there and God willing, up and through me. Now don’t get the wrong impression, I had NEVER, EVER been one to give it up too easy and hadn’t planned to start. In fact, it had been over six months since I had had sex with anyone. I wasn’t chewing the furniture and about to climb the walls with horniness, but it had been a while, so I was really looking forward to getting the ball rolling to the inevitable romantic interlude with Mr. Pharaoh Jones.

Chapter Two

I fucked him the next night, rather he FUCKED me!!!! I won’t even bore you with the particulars of our little date at the local coffee shop or the conversation that ultimately lead to us back at my place and him laying pipe in me so good , I damn near lost my life, the sex itself is what’s important because that is what lead me down the path of self -destruction.

Pharaoh Jones had the longest, blackest, thickest dick I had ever seen on a man before or since. I probably should not have let him inside of me but after months of celibacy, my horniness over-road my better judgement.

His thick, Mike Tyson fist sized cock head plunged into my six-month celibate hole and I let out a scream to wake the dead. My neighbor banged on the wall.

“Take it out, take it out!” I panted trying not to raise my voice.

“Damn, I didn’t know you were a virgin.” He said trying to remove himself from me in as pain free a manner as possible.

“I am not.” I panted. “It’s just been a long time since… Pharaoh, I am really sorry. I didn’t realize that … I will be glad to suck it for you.”

“Please.” He said holding his throbbing erection. I marveled at the fact that I hadn’t been torn and his cock wasn’t covered in blood.

My throat did what my ass couldn’t, it engulfed the enormous length and width of Pharaoh’s cock.

“Damn, I want to fuck you.” He moaned. “Come on baby, please let’s try again, Please.”

“I want to.” I admitted. “I just don’t think I can right now.”

“I know what can take the edge off.” He said getting out of my bed. He picked up his pants from the floor, rummaged through the pockets and pulled out a small packet of white powder. My heart sunk

“Pharaoh, I…”

“Just a little won’t hurt you.” He assured returning to the bed. He poured a little on the back of his hand and snorted it off. “Just trust me.”

Pharaoh and more specifically, Pharaoh’s dick, looked so enticing to me I abandoned my vow to Never, Ever do a drug stronger than weed and snorted the line of cocaineoff the back of his hand.

I felt the rush from the powder that I had snorted but it was secondary to the masterful fuck that Pharaoh Jones laid on my body. Of the three prior men that I had been intimate with, I was certain that two of them had good dick; Boy, was I mistaken. Pharaoh Jones’ dick game made the two of theirs’ seem amateurish by comparison.

That man fucked me on every nook and cranny of that bed, then proceeded to literally fuck me from wall to wall all over my bedroom, by the time he had me on my back on the floor with my legs opened wide and stretched up to the heavens above I could feel my soul float out of my body. My spirit body floated high above my physical body and watched.

Pharaoh Jones was literally fucking me to death, and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it but enjoy it.

“I am gonna cum!” I could hear him say. Suddenly, my soul that had been floating above us, began to descend at a rapid pace. The reconnection of my physical and spiritual body was so swift I bucked and screamed as Pharaoh’s dick shot it’s load inside of me.

I didn’t die! I had survived, which meant I could fuck Pharaoh again! Praise the lord! EEE- Sha- Na- Na-Na! -Hundalasiliah!

“That was everything I thought it would be.” Said Pharaoh. “You are extraordinary.”

“Thank you, you are beyond extraordinary.”

“Really?” He asked.

“Nigga, don’t you dare feign modesty.” I giggled

“Unt Uh.” He frowned shaking his head. “I don’t like that word, I don’t care if it’s “a” or “er”, it’s still offensive to me.”

“I am sorry,” I apologized “I think we fall into a pattern of throwing certain words around that we don’t stop to think about how they might offend other people.”

“You’re good. I just really hate that word.”

“I understand.” I said nestling closer to him. That very moment the word “Nigga” was removed from my vocabulary because there wasn’t a version of “N-word” that would make me risk losing that beyond extraordinary dick of Pharaoh Jones.

Chapter Three

“Why the fuck is you playing with me Malika?!” Pharaoh’s angry voice woke me up.

I was confused. Why in the hell was Pharaoh up at three in the morning having a verbally violent conversation with someone named Malika.

“See now Bitch, you’re taking shit too far! You’re trying to use my kids against me!”

My heart damn near jumped into my throat. Kids!! Oh No God, I did not do niggas, I mean men, who have children and baby mama’s, and what I was witnessing out of Pharaoh was the reason why.

“Okay Bitch! keep playing with me Bitch! Keep poking the Fucken Bear Bitch! Keep poking the fucken bear!”

At some point Malika must have hung up. Pharaoh, irate, made several attempts to call her back to no avail.

“Who is Malika?” I asked

“Malika is a toxic ass bitch that I made the mistake of having children with.”

Oh no God, he not only had a baby mama but a toxic ass bitch of a baby mama. Oh, this was not good.

“Why didn’t you tell me before we…”

“Look!” He roared. “I just fucked you one time; I didn’t owe you a Goddamn thing other than a good dick down!”

“Okay, you have given me that, and correct, you owe me nothing more, you can kindly leave my home now” I said too calmly considering the situation and the nastiness that I was met with.

“Gladly.” He said putting on his clothes. “One thing I don’t have to deal with is a haughty ass faggot!”

Oh, No God!! No man, No woman, Nobody had Never, Ever called me a faggot and did not catch the wrath, verbally, physically, or both if need be, and shit won’t about to start.

“Hold the fuck up, NIGGA!! I wasn’t a faggot when you pursued me, took me on a date, then came to my house and fucked me and I am not about to be no Goddamn faggot now, just because you are pissed at you toxic ass baby mama. Miss me with all of that bullshit!”

“You’re right.” He said humbling himself. “That was fucked up of me and I am truly sorry, you did not deserve that. My anger is with Malika, not you.”

My better judgement would have told me to tell him to go to hell and get to stepping, but that lovey dovey, fuzzy wuzzy feeling that he had left in my asshole made me far too eager to forgive what I usually considered unforgiveable.

“I accept your apology, but know that I do not like that word, especially from men who have sex with other men and certainly not from men who have had sex with me.”

“Roger that.” He said. “Look, let me get up out of your space. I didn’t mean to bring this toxicity into your home, but that fucken Malika, nah, you don’t need to hear all of this. I am out. You have my number. If you ever want to see me again, give me a call; if not, I completely understand.”

When Pharaoh left, I felt conflicted as hell. I had done hard drugs, slept with a man who I found out hours later had a toxic ass baby mama, then he called me a faggot to top things off. On the other hand, I had Never, Ever been given such and intensely phantasmagoric fuck and he did apologize for calling me a faggot. Normal, rational Me would have thanked God that he had removed himself from my life and opted not to call Pharaoh Jones again, but potentially drug impaired, phantasmagorically fucked Me was not ready to let Pharaoh go. For the first time in my life, I was making a decision based solely off of the strength of having had some good dick. It might have been silly, but shit, for the first time in my life I was truly discovering what good dick was and I wasn’t ready to sever ties with its source.

Chapter Four

“Shit! Goddamn! Mother Fucker!!!” I squalled to the top of my lungs as Pharaoh’s beyond extraordinary dick fucked me so good and so deep, my own dick was shooting rockets to the moon. My worrisome ass neighbor was banging on the wall and I did not give one single shit because I owned my home and therefore had the right to scream my head off while being fucked by an ebony God named Pharaoh Jones in my goddamn bedroom.

“You want it baby?” He asked

“Yes!” I moaned “Give it to me, I want all of it!”

Pharaoh took his dick out of me and shot his load all over my face and chest. I was pissed because when I said I wanted it all, I thinking more of his dick inside of me, not the contents of his dick all over my face. I didn’t have time to linger in my anger because it was replaced by the disgust of Pharaoh licking his own cum off of my face.

“Damn.” He said after swallowing his own nut. “That was hot as hell. That’s what’s cool about sex with other men, we are more opened minded. A female would have never let me do that.”

Umm, maybe because it is disgusting as fuck!!

“Yay, men.” I said

“I really appreciate you reaching back out to me after the other night. I really am sorry about that.”

“You’ve already apologized. Let’s move past it. Hell, we both did some out of the pocket shit that night, I mean, I actually snorted cocaine.”

“When did you snort cocaine?” He asked so seriously it frightened me. Had he really forgotten?

“Pharaoh, baby, you got me to try cocaine so that I could be more relaxed when you fucked me.”

“No, I didn’t,” he said, “I don’t fuck with cocaine and I would never give it to anybody.”

“Well, what was that?” I was alarmed

“Crystal Meth.” He said as if he had merely given me Crystal Light.

“Pharaoh, What the fuck ?!” I was livid

“Why are you trippin’; that was days ago, it’s not like you’re a fucken addict.”

“But I could have become one. I have a right to know that I am taking. Maybe you don’t have shit to lose by taking that stuff, but I have worked too hard and accomplished too much to risk becoming a meth head.”

“Well you didn’t bother to ask what it was. You were too eager to have dick shoved up in you like the faggot you are.”

I had reached my Fuck it point with his disrespect. With all the force that I could muster, I slapped the ever-loving shit out of Pharaoh Jones. His head turned so sharply, I thought I might have given him whiplash. At that point in my life there wasn’t too much that I regretted , but when that man yanked me up out of that bed and proceeded to slam me all over that room before deciding that the spot on the floor between my dresser and my potted rubber tree plant was the perfect spot for him to sit astraddle my midsection and pummel my face with his left fist, I sincerely regretted slapping Pharaoh Jones in the face.

As much as an annoyance as my neighbor’s banging on the wall had been earlier, it had now become a saving grace. The pounding on the wall seemed to snap him out of his trance. I quickly grabbed my phone from my dresser.

“Get the fuck out of here or I swear to God I am going to call the police.” I cried.

“You fucken black punks are no different than these black bitches!” He frowned. “You are the least fucken desirable, yet you have an inflated sense of self, then when you find a black man that is willing to fuck with you, you want to try and control him. Y’all really love that hitting a man shit, and then calling the cops when he beats your ass.”

“Just get the fuck out!” I ordered

‘Gladly!” he fastened the belt in his pants then put on his Nike sneakers. Once he pulled his shirt on over his head he turned to leave then came and stood over me again. I clutched my phone, ready to call the police if he assaulted me again. Instead he knelt down and took me in his arms.

“I am sorry.” He apologized. “I don’t like to be hit. We are adults and we should be able to argue without it resorting to violence.”

“Pharaoh, I would really appreciate it if you would leave my home and never return.” My voice was calm in spite of what had happened, and in spite of my fear of what would happen next. Had we been in the kitchen where I could have gotten my hands on my cutlery, things would have been different. I had Never, Ever been beaten like that by anyone. Good dick or not, I realized that it was time to end this.

“Fuck you then!” He said getting up from beside me.

To add insult to injury, that mother fucker spat on me before leaving. I was too battered from his fist and too sore from his dick to get up off of that floor, pick up one of my statues, chase him down and bludgeon his ass or God knows I would have. Instead, I sat there in the little spot between my dresser and my potted rubber tree plant and cried. I had allowed myself to sink very low very fast with Pharaoh and the sad part was that I wasn’t even in love with him. I was in lust with his beyond extraordinary dick and the fantastical way in which he laid it on me. But I knew that it was for the better that I sever all ties with him. Rational thinking me was able to be strong for two whole weeks.

Chapter Five

“I don’t give a fuck.” Said my cousin and best friend, Lorenzo. “The minute that mother fucker stopped hitting you, you should have got up and laid into his ass with the wrath of God.” He placed an ice bag to my swollen cheek.

“Ouch!”

“Yeah, your ass need to ouch, you know Auntie Tavis did not teach you to just lay down and take an ass whooping, especially from no nigga who’s fucking you. He’s bound to be rolling over in his grave.”

In spite of my pain, I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of the man who had been a father figure to me and Lorenzo. Tavis was the younger brother to mine and Lorenzo’s mothers. He stood a statuesque six feet three with a physique to rival Hulk Hogan’s, but he was flamboyantly gay, wore six-inch stiletto heels, had a perfect French manicure, kept his face beat to the Gods and had no less than 36 inches of real Brazilian hair sewn into his head at all times. In spite of that, no one fucked with him because he was a trained boxer and third-degree black belt in Ju Jitsu. He was the only male in the family to be a role model to me and Lorenzo who wanted to cheer lead instead of play football. The one thing he taught us was how to defend ourselves and when we got into our teen years, it was him who instilled in us to let no one, least of all someone who slept with us to disrespect us and call us faggots. Damn, I had really let Auntie Tavis down.

“I know Lorenzo, it’s just …”

“Just what; this trifling ass down low nigga has you dick -ma tized?”

Hell, fucken yes!

“No, if that were the case he would be here. We were never even in a relationship, so it’s easy just to cut bait.”

“I hope you are firm in that because ain’t no dick down worth taking a beat down over.”

“You are right as always, Lorenzo.” I said getting out of bed to go and pee again.

“Um, this is like the seventh time that you have gone to pee in like 45 minutes,” said Lorenzo. “You’re not a fat, swollen bitch, so I know you are not on diuretics, child, what’s going on?”

“Nothing.” I said hurrying to the bathroom and emptying my bladder. Until Lorenzo brought it to my attention, I had not realized how frequently I had been urinating.

“Hmm, keep an eye on that because that nothing could seriously be something.”

“I am sure that it is just stress.”

“Well, if it persists, take your ass to the doctor.”

“Yes, Tavis Junior.” I teased

“I wish he was still here. Covid19 was the only mother fucker that ever whooped his ass.”

“That’s for Goddamn sure.” I said, “This is the first and last time that a man is going to have me in this condition.”

“It goddamn better be, because like Auntie Tavis used to tell us, you can either give an ass whooping to them or take an ass whooping from me.”

“Shit, I want to whoop my own ass for this.” I sighed

“We all fall down in life cuzzo.” Lorenzo wrapped his arms around me. I laid my head on his shoulder “But like Auntie told us; you better get the fuck back up and be better than you were when your ass was on the ground.”

“Amen.” I said as we snuggled closer together and spent the rest of the evening sharing our fondest memories of Auntie Tavis.

Chapter Six

It is with great embarrassment that I even recount this but if I am going to tell it, I might as well tell it all. Two weeks after the night that Pharaoh beat the unmerciful shit out of me, I got a call from the local correctional facility; jail to the lay person.

I accepted the call expecting it to be Lorenzo’s cray ass needing me to come pick him up after he’s been arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct at the club. I was shocked to hear Pharaoh’s voice on the other end.

“Listen, Baby, I know I am the last person that you want to hear from, but I really need you to listen.”

“Pharaoh, please don’t call me anymore.”

“Wait, please.” He begged

Against my better judgement, I didn’t hang up.

“Savion, I know I fucked up that night and I swear to God I am so sorry, but right now I really need you. I really need you to soften your heart because I cannot take it in here much longer. Please, I have to go before the judge tomorrow and if I don’t have $2,500 in back child support to pay up, that judge is going to send me away for six months. Please, I swear to God, I will pay you back once I get another job.”

“I don’t think I can do that, Pharaoh, I am sorry that you are in this situation, but I cannot help you.”

“Please.” He cried sounding so pitiful, tears begun to well up in my eyes. “I am not going to make it much longer in this nasty ass place. I have been here a week and haven’t even eaten because I am vegan and all they serve is nasty ass processed meat.”

“But can’t someone in your family…”

“They’re all on Malika’s side, she uses my children to manipulate them against me. Please, Savion. I swear to God, I will make it up to you. Please.”

“What time is your case?” I asked

“Nine in the morning.”

“I will do it this one time, but you have to promise to pay me back.”

“I promise, baby.”

I ended the call with him and immediately felt like the dumbest ass in the barn. I tossed and turned all through the night and several times had made up my mind that I simply would not do it, because I didn’t owe Pharaoh Jones a damn thing. I was dead set on that notion clean into the next morning when I got out of bed, showered and got dressed to go to work. It was only when I got into my car and noticed that my ass hadn’t had that delightful soreness in it for a long time , did I call in to work to tell them that I would be a couple of hours late , and then I headed to my bank and withdrew the $2,500 that was meant to cover my car insurance , home owner’s insurance , and car payment for the month.

Pharaoh Jones was so grateful to be free from jail that he ate my asshole like it was plant-based protein. Then he fucked me with his big black and beyond extraordinary dick until I shook, stuttered and came like a mother fucker.

Pharaoh Jones cooked me a delicious vegan pasta meal , he bathed me in my tub, massaged my body from head to toe with ginger and Dragon’s blood scented oils, then laid me in my bed and fucked me so thoroughly my eyes were blurry with tears , my midsection was drenched in my own semen, and my asshole was saturated with my cream and his cum. For the first time in the month and a half that I had known and fucked Pharaoh Jones, I fell asleep inside of his arms.

Chapter Seven

Pharaoh moved into my town house. He managed to find himself a job pretty quickly and three weeks into his stay with me, he managed to put $700 of the $2,500 that he owed me into my hands. Not a moment too soon because I was behind as a mother fucker on three major bills and hadn’t been making that many hours at work and hadn’t been doing my side hustle at all because all of my free time was spent with Pharaoh Jones inside of me and I damn sure wasn’t complaining; however I was becoming well aware of the fact that I was slacking and really needed to become more serious about my coins.

Confession; since Pharaoh had been staying with me, I had used Crystal Meth with him seven times. I had started to like the way that it made me feel, especially when I was being fucked by Pharaoh’s beyond extraordinary dick. There did come that Saturday when both of us were hankering for a hit and neither of us a dime to get any.

“I texted my boy Tango.” Said Pharaoh. “He said he’s drop by and let us hold some.”

“Oh, is he extending us credit?” My ignorant ass asked not even thinking about the fact that a drug dealer was on his way to my Goddamn house.

After a wait that seemed like forever, my doorbell rang.

“Tango!” Said Pharaoh, dapping up the dingy looking light skinned negro who needed to wash his clothes and edge up his hairline, wash and rebraid his hair, and shave that scruffy ass stubble off of his face. Yea, Tango was selling drugs, but he was also damn sure using them.

“That’s him?” He asked looking at me.

“Yea, look, the bathroom is down that hall to the right. Gimmie a minute and Savion will come and join you.”

“Baby.” I said once Tango was gone. “I am not about to get high that guy.”

“You ain’t gotta. Look, baby, he’s gonna let us have some but you’ve got to suck his dick.”

“What the fuck, I don’t know that guy. He doesn’t even look hygienic.”

“Baby, please do not do this.” He said trying very hard to control his temper. His fist were tightly clenched. “We both need this blast and we’re both out of money. All you gotta do is suck his dick. Please baby, this once for both of us.”

Reluctantly I went into my bathroom where Tango was already booty butt naked sitting on the side of my bathtub stroking his ding looking, barely six-inch, skinny ass dick.

“You ready to do this shit, Nigga?” He asked

I got down on my knees in front of him and immediately regretted doing so. Old boy smelled like cow patty weed and rancid potted meat. I damn near spewed up the veggie burger I had had for lunch.

After a couple of sucks on his acrid dick that tasted like cod liver oil, I knew that I had to hurry up and get that shit over with for because, goddamn! I reached over onto my bathroom sink and removed my bottle of cocoa butter lotion. I lathered his dick with a handful of lotion and did an old trick I learned years ago, I jacked Tango off, licking the head of his dick every three pumps and putting it in my mouth every 10 pumps. I was midway my third round of pump, lick, pump, mouth when Tango’s little dingy ass dick became very stiff, his tiny head became extra round and red until it resembled a cherry tootsie roll pop, same size and everything, Tango shot forth beige looking cum that smelled like stale fish grease and hit my tile floor with a sickening splat.

I just barely turned to my toilet bowl in time to throw up. I wasn’t just sick to my stomach; I was sick to my soul. Tango was the type of guy that I would have Never, Ever looked at , let alone did anything sexual with, but for the tiny baggie of powder that he placed on the sink after he’s put his clothes back on, I had put his skinny , scrawny, dingy, disgusting, awful smelling dick in my mouth and jacked him to a fishy smelling climax. I felt like shit. Shit! I don’t know when he left the bathroom and didn’t care, I was just glad that he and I no longer shared the same space.

I took a break from vomiting long enough to take some Fabuloso and a handful of paper towels and clean Tango’s fetid cum from my bathroom floor. I was in the middle of the task when Pharaoh entered the bathroom giddy and excited like a child on Christmas day.

“Thank you so much baby.” He said snatching the baggie from the sink. “Hurry up and join me in the bedroom so we can do this, and I can do you.”

I flushed the soiled paper towels, brushed my teeth, swished some mouth wash and cleaned my face. I really wasn’t in the mood for Meth or dick but after what I had endured, I damn sure intended to fully indulge in both, if for no other reason than to escape from the fact that I had probably done the lowest shit I had EVER done in my life.

Chapter Eight

Thursday was my pay day and I had some major decisions to make. I hadn’t paid my car insurance or my homeowner’s insurance in nearly two months; it was by God’s divine grace that I hadn’t been pulled over or that a room in my home caught on fire. For two months in a row, I had only made partial payments on my light bill and it was now delinquent, and I had a cut off notice scheduled for noon the following day. I decided that I could pay the entire light bill, use fifty to fill my car for the week, set aside about 20 for lunch and that would leave me a good $100 to buy me and my baby some jump start. Jump start had become our cute little name for Crystal Meth.

I had planned to stop by and pay the electric bill after work, but I was tired as hell and my throat and lower abdomen ached like a mother fucker. My frequent urination had returned. By Friday morning I was in so much pain I wanted to die. My throat was on fire, my stomach and lower back ached, and it felt as if I was pissing out razor blades. Something was wrong. I gave Pharaoh the $500 to go and pay the light bill on his way to work. As soon as he left, I showered then called Lorenzo, crying and begging him to come and take me to the emergency room because something wasn’t right.

“Maybe now you will leave his hobosexual ass the fuck alone.” Said Lorenzo as he pulled out of the Pharmacy’s driveway where I had just cut into my jump start money to purchase two separate antibiotics one to treat strep throat and the other to treat Gonorrhea. The gonorrhea had been in my body for a couple moths, hence the abdominal pain and frequent urination. The strep throat I was certain was a result of my episode with Tango. I dared not tell Lorenzo about that, he would have molly whopped my stupid ass had he found out that I had caught strep throat as a result of sucking the dick of a guy who looked and smelled as if he hadn’t bathed in months, and I would have deserved it.

“Not now, Cuzzo.” I said groggy from the shot I’d been given at the hospital. “I want to get home and get these antibiotics in me and get some sleep.”

“I told you weeks ago when you were pissing like a racehorse that something ain’t right. Once you found out old boy had a baby mama you should have never let his ass raw rod you again. I guess the silver lining is that you don’t have HIV or AIDS, but damn, you didn’t have to have gonorrhea either.”

“Lorenzo please drop it, please.”

“You need to drop him, a dead beat, dirty dick mother fucker.”

“Lorenzo!”

“It’s dropped for now.”

My heart sank when we pulled into my driveway and Pharaoh’s, who should have been at work, car was parked in the driveway. I didn’t want Lorenzo and Pharaoh to meet under the current circumstances, but I could not, after all he’d done for me, just get out of the car and not invite my cousin to come in and get a soda and chill.

The lights were still on, so thank God he remembered to pay the light bill, but the very loud screaming and moaning left little to doubt what was happening down the hall in my bedroom. I had heard myself moan and scream like that so many times to know that whoever was in that room with Pharaoh was being treated to the master stroke of his beyond extraordinary dick.

“I know Goddamn well this broke ass nigga ain’t fucking nobody in your house; in your bed!” raged Lorenzo snatching his earrings out of his ears and powering it down the hall to my bedroom. I followed; spaghetti legged a small distance behind him. The shot I’d taken earlier plus the two antibiotics I had swallowed in the car had me feeling woozy and lethargic. I did not have the ass kicking energy that my cousin had in the moment.

“Caught You Mother Fucker!” screamed Lorenzo bursting into my bedroom.

“What the fuck!” screamed the beautiful cinnamon brown girl who was riding Pharaoh’s dick the same way that I had the night before. Like me just hours earlier, heavy amounts of fluid dripped down her legs. I could tell it was agony for her, but she had to tear her herself off of Pharaoh’s beyond extraordinary dick to confront the current shituation.

“Who the fuck are you?” asked Pharaoh trying to hide his enormous cock that looked like a stove pipe that had been dipped in Krispy Kreme glaze.

“I am Savion’s cousin, you know Savion, your boyfriend whose bed you were fucking old girl in.”

“Boyfriend! What the fuck, Nigga, You a faggot!” the naked female dove on Pharaoh pummeling his head with her fist.

“Calm the fuck down Malika!” He said doing the best he could to restrain her.

Malika! If things weren’t bad enough, he fucked his toxic ass baby mama in my house in my bed.

“Nigga, you ain’t never seeing your goddamn kids again.” She said gathering her clothes. “We have three sons. I’ll be goddamn if I give your twisted ass a chance to molest one of them.”

In a flash, Pharaoh sprang from the bed, his massive cock swinging free, and seized Malika by the throat and lifting her off the floor.

“Say that shit again bitch!” He roared as he applied more pressure. Poor Malika kicked and swung to no avail. Pharaoh choked her so hard piss poured down her legs an onto my carpet.

Lorenzo intervened by giving Pharaoh a stiff karate kick to the small of his back. He dropped Malika with a sickening thud. The poor woman gasped several times before adequately being able to catch her breath. she gathered her clothes and ran like a gazelle, naked from my town house.

I was slumped down on the floor in my hallway, weak, watching my naked boyfriend and my cousin engage in the damnest fight that had them knocking shit over in my bedroom and putting holes in my mother fucken wall. Lorenzo was half Pharaoh’s size, but you would have never known it the way that he was punching and throwing Pharaoh’s brollic ass around. Pharaoh would stumble him with a heavy -handed blow only to have Lorenzo run back into him with another flurry.

“Stop! Stop!” I screamed to no avail. I tried to get to my feet, but I was just too weak to do anything beyond screaming for them to stop.

I don’t know if the police officers knocked or just barged into my house. I figured that neighbors had called until I heard them drag Pharaoh, naked as sin out of my house on charges that he had violated a restraining order and physically attacked Malika Salter. Those charges were very serious because they didn’t even bother to arrest Lorenzo, who had been wielding a shard of glass from a broken mirror that he had used to cut Pharaoh on his arm.

As soon as the police had taken Pharaoh away, Lorenzo transitioned from ass kicker to nurturer.

“Come on, let me help you to the couch, he said.” Helping me to my feet. “I am going to go clean up that room the best that I can so that you can get some sleep. Where are your rubber gloves so that I can throw those nasty ass sheets away.”

“Under the kitchen sink.” I think I said. Nothing seemed real. Everything just seemed so distance and disjointed. Yea a lot of it was the pills, but it was mostly the shitty mess that my life had become.

The saddest part of all is that I wasn’t in love with Pharaoh Jones. The man himself meant nothing to me. It was his beyond extraordinary dick that I loved. I loved the things that his dick did to my mind, body, and soul. The problem was Pharaoh’s beyond extraordinary dick was attached to a less than extraordinary man.

Chapter Nine

I spent the month focusing on healing myself. Pharaoh was out of my life thanks to Malika’s assault accusation. Though I sometimes craved crystal meth, the fact that I didn’t know any dealers personally and damn sure wasn’t about to acquaint myself with any was good enough to keep me from using.

I avoided phone calls from collection agencies like the plague. I was so far behind on my car insurance, homeowners insurance and various miscellaneous expenses, it wasn’t even funny.

I had done some pretty stupid shit recently, but I wasn’t a dummy. I had picked up a few clients who needed make up jobs and had started back working regularly at the bank. Lorenzo helped me secure a huge chunk of change by getting me hired to do the make up for an entire bridal party that he was hired to do hair for. When I say entire, I mean entire, because the groom and the groomsmen wanted a masculine beat to compliment the bride and bridesmaids’ feminine one.

The four grand that I made from that job was right on time. I managed to get my car insurance caught up and put some on my homeowner’s insurance.

Things were looking up for me financially. Sexually, things weren’t all that good. I hooked up with a cute little brown skinned fella named Shael. He had been part of the wedding party. Shael had a right decent size of dick, but it wasn’t beyond extraordinary, shit it wasn’t even good and having spent the past couple of months experiencing phantasmagoric fucks, this was a major let down. Shael’s piss poor pathetic attempt at laying a dick down made me realize that I was able to quit Crystal Meth cold turkey, but I was still addicted to the beyond extraordinary dick of Pharaoh Jones and I was starting to suffer from withdraws.

I was subpoenaed to be a witness in Malika’s assault case against Pharaoh. Malika looked angelic in her white silk, knee length dress with her long hair pinned into a neat bun. A far cry from the cussing, fighting, naked hell cat who leaked piss and pussy juice all over my bedroom carpet. Poor Pharaoh looked as if he had lost weight. In spite of being a vegan, Pharaoh had maintained a muscular physique through consuming plant proteins. A month in jail, barely eating had drastically reduced him.

The DA was completely shocked, and Pharaoh’s court appointed attorney was delighted when I recounted the incident. Apparently, Malika had failed to tell the DA that even though Pharaoh was wrong as two left shoes in his retaliation, she had been the one who initiated the violence.

When Pharaoh’s attorney called Malika back to the stand for further cross examination she admitted to driving to my house and engaging in sex with Pharaoh in spite of there being a restraining order. In her agitation, she blurted out that she had physically assaulted Pharaoh but did so because she suspected that he had sexually abused one of their sons. The look on Pharaoh’s face told me that he wanted to physically eviscerate Malika the way that his lawyer verbally did when he brought up the fact that either she was lying her ass off or the sorriest bitch God ever carved a pussy into ( I’m obviously paraphrasing), to drive and go fuck a man that she believed might have sexually abused one or her children.

Pharaoh was released with time served. He and Malika were given a strict order to stay away from each other and were given thirty days to go to family court and establish shared custody before family services would be ordered to intervene.

I hadn’t thought about him coming home with me, but where else was he going to go; all of his belongings were still at my house.

“I am so sorry.” He humbly apologized as he fastened his seatbelt. “I shouldn’t have fucked her in our bed, but she was threatening to keep my kids away from me if I didn’t have sex with her and I couldn’t go to her house. I swear to God I wasn’t trying to hurt you.”

“I accept your apology, but you are going to have to take your things and go.”

“I understand.” He said. “I don’t even fault you.”

“And you need to go to the clinic. You gave me gonorrhea. I didn’t have the chance to tell you because all of this shit happened.”

“Goddamn, I thought I was feeling sick because of the nasty ass conditions of that jail. That nasty pussy bitch gave me gonorrhea. It had to have been her because she was the only other person that I was fucking!”

“Well, however you caught it, you need to take care of yourself before you suffer some long term affects.”

“Thanks for still caring.”

“Yea.” I said flatly.

“Look, I know you want me to go and I respect that, but it’s been a minute for both of us and I can feel the tension. Why don’t we stop by the drug store and get some rubbers.”

I want to tell you that I told Pharaoh to go and fuck himself, but if I haven’t lied to yo thus far, why start now? I made a bee line to the pharmacy where I purchased a package of Magnum condoms. Oh, his ass was still going to leave my house, but not until I had one last ride on his beyond extraordinary dick. I deserved that much.

Chapter Ten

Pharaoh Jones fucked me from pillar to post in my town house. There wasn’t a wall, floor, piece of furniture, or fixture that Pharaoh didn’t lay me across, lean me against, or bend me down over during our marathon fuck sessions. We used the entire pack of eight condoms.

Around ten we were just lying in bed watching a movie on Netflix and fighting every urge not to go at it raw dog, when Pharaoh’s phone rang.

“It’s my son Jaxon.” He said looking both happy to hear from his son and worried what the call might intel.

“Hey Little Man.” Said Pharaoh

“Daddy, you’re a faggot!” came the most angelic sounding child’s voice.

“Son, don’t talk like that.”

“I am not your son, and neither is Tavion or Majick. We don’t want a punk ass nigger for a daddy. That’s why Mama’s gonna marry Blaque, because he’s a real man and he’s going to adopt us.”

“Son, that’s not going to happen.”

“Blaque has a nice house and he makes good money, you are a broke ass faggot out here getting bent over by other niggas, why would I want you for a father”

“Boy as long as your ass stays black don’t you dare disrespect me. I will come there and spank your little mannish ten-year-old ass!” Raged Pharaoh.

“You ain’t gonna do shit, Nigga. I am going to go with Mama to the police station tomorrow and tell them that you touched me and made me touch you, so you can get out of our lives and we can be happy with a real man for a father.”

“Son don’t do that. You don’t understand what that bitch is making you do. Please don’t do that to me.” Begged Pharaoh as if he wasn’t a grown ass man and the person on the other end of that phone wasn’t his ten-year-old son. His son hung up on him.

“I need you to drive me to my mother’s house.” Said Pharaoh getting up and getting dress. “I’ve gotta use the bathroom, please be ready to go by the time I am through”

I didn’t understand why at damn near eleven at night, Pharaoh wanted me to drive him to his mother’s house which was a fifteen-minute drive because his Mama lived in a small town over called Dorsey.

“Wait here in the car.” He ordered when I parked in front of the small brick cottage style house. Pharaoh banged on the door with such ferocity, I felt sorry for his poor, dear mother if she had been trying to sleep. My heart nearly jumped into my throat when Malika, not Pharaoh’s Mother, answered the door. Pharaoh grabbed her by the hair and yanked her outside wearing nothing but a bathrobe. I watched in horror as Pharaoh dragged her onto the ground kicking and punching her and reviling her with the most toxic language I had ever heard. She tried to fight back but she was no match for his strength, even after losing weight, and his anger. I don’t know where he pulled the knife from, but he had one and he plunged it into her with reckless abandon in spite of her screams and not caring about the fact that the neighbors could hear and some definitely had surveillance cameras that would document the entire ordeal. A child, who had to have been the one who called Pharaoh earlier, barged out of the house with a broom in hand and attacked Pharaoh with a futile attempt to save his mother. Pharaoh snatched the broom out of the child’s hands with such ferocity it sent the boy skidding with a belly flop onto the grass. To My utter horror he plunged the knife repeatedly into the child’s back until he was as dead as Malika. Why hadn’t anyone called the police much less looked outside?? Why the fuck hadn’t I driven off?!! Pharaoh went into the house still wielding the knife. Though I didn’t see it, I knew in my heart and soul that if his two younger children and possibly, Blaque were in that house, they also met the same fate as Malika and little Jaxon.

“Drive.” He said getting back into my car with the knife wrapped in a towel.

“What the fuck did you do?” I cried driving as fast as I could to get the fuck out of Dorsey.

“That bitch wanted to ruin my life and my kids wanted to go along with it; fuck all of them. My son was bragging about all the shit Blaque was gonna do for their ass, well, let Blaque pay to bury them.”

Pharaoh showered in my bathroom as if he had just completed a long day’s work instead of slaughtering his entire family. The knife that he murdered Malika and his children with lay wrapped in a bloody towel on my dresser.

He entered the bedroom with a raging erection. Without asking, he pulled off my joggers and underwear. I wanted to protest, especially since we were out of condoms and I did not want to have to suffer through another bout of gonorrhea, but I just watched this man murder his baby mama and children, the knife he used to do so was within reach, so I said nothing.

I had Never, Ever been fucked by someone who met the clinical definition of a sociopath, but after what I had witnessed, I was certain that Pharaoh Jones, beyond extraordinary dick and all, was indeed a sociopath.

The sex was amazing as always, dare I say phenomenal, this time because he seemed to have an extra umph on every stroke. He shot his gonorrhea infected cum inside of me, then rolled over and went to sleep in his back, His dick was still semi erect and bounced up and down as he snored fluctuating from fully to semi hard.

I cried. This had to end. Pharaoh Jones had some good dick; beyond extraordinary, but look at what it had cost me: I might have once again contracted Gonorrhea, my credit was shot to hell, I had allowed myself to remain in a relationship with me in spite of the fact that he had a baby mama, had beaten the unmerciful shit out of me, gotten me hooked on Crystal Meth, I had even put his drug dealing friend’s scrawny , dingy , fetid, barely six inch dick in my mouth. Oh, and let me not forget the blatant disrespect from him calling me a faggot, spitting on me, and fucking his toxic ass bitch of a baby mama in my bed hours after he’s fucked me in it. And now, I was an accessary to a mass murder!!! In three months, 90 short days, I had gone from a productive young homosexual man to an ignorant, thirsty ass faggot all over dick! Pharaoh’s Dick! Pharaoh Jones’ beyond extraordinary dick!

I had to free myself. I had to remove the thing that was bound to destroy me. Teary eyed, I picked up the knife that has been used to slaughter four people. I took Pharaoh’s dick in my left hand and it started to grow hard at my touch. Savagely I plunged the knife into the base of his penis. Pharaoh bolted awake with a scream. He tried to fight me off, but I was a man on a mission, I had to destroy that which threatened to destroy me. My neighbor banged on the wall and threatened to call the cops over Pharaoh’s blood curdling screams. Let them call the police, I didn’t care, I was willing to do my time because I was damned determined to remove from Pharaoh Jones the one thing that had kept me stupidly bound to him. His dick came off bloody and slippery in my hands.

I cried as I held it and it continued to spew blood from where it had been severed. The veins in it were still throbbing. Pharaoh continued to scream and bleed until he couldn’t anymore. I sat on the floor crying and holding his severed dick close to my chest stroking it like a pet kitten. I loved it, Pharaoh’s dick, but I had to take back my power from it. I had freed myself.

I am not sure when Pharaoh died or when the cops arrived. They literally had to pry his severed cock out of my hands and put it inside an evidence bag. I was probably going to spend the rest of my life in prison, but I was free. I smiled as they handcuffed me and put me in the back of the police car. I still smiled when they wheeled Pharaoh’s dead body covered in a white sheet out of my town house and loaded it onto a hearse. I only cried when they carried out the bio -hazard container that I had seen them place Pharaoh’s cock inside of, and place that inside of the hearse as well.

“What in the Sam hell caused all of this?” asked the female officer in charge of transporting me to the jail

“Good Dick, Ma’am. Good dick, especially the beyond extraordinary caliber will make you do some desperate shit to get it and some depraved shit to get away from it.”

“Umm!” she snorted smacking her gum. “I don’t want that kind of good dick, ever.”

“And I made sure I will never have it again.” I said before laughing hysterically. She shook her head and turned on her flashing lights so that she could speed up the process of getting my crazy ass inside a jail cell.

The End