FRIDAY NIGHT AT THE FURLONGS' PART 1
by Robert Furlong
The first night I slept with my twenty-year-old cousin Jake, the two of us snuggled up arms around each other in his double bed, confirmed to me that I was more into guys than I was into girls. It just felt so right to be close to another dude like that, our two big cocks rubbing gently together or better still when we spooned and we pushed our dicks into each other's butts. I loved feeling his firm, athletic body next to mine and smelling his different boy-smells - his sweaty pits and pubes, and especially the salty sourness from his fat ripe cock head when it boned up and his foreskin pulled right back from it.
By the time Uncle Rob brought us both a glass of orange juice next morning, the two of us had already woken up horny and were in the middle of a pretty rowdy sixty-nine. Jake was on top of me, bucking his hips to drive his massive hard-on in and out of my mouth, and I was lying underneath him with my own chubbed-up cudger thrusting up and down between his lips.
I tried to pull away when I realised my uncle had come into the room, but Jake grabbed my hips more firmly and used his huge schlong to impale my face against his mattress.
He pulled off from sucking my cock and called over, "Gee thanks, dad."
"I hadn't realised you guys already had juice," Uncle Rob quipped back.
"We're having our protein drinks, yeah," Jake chortled, and then got back on with sucking hard up and down my big prong.
Things had been a lot more serene when the two of us had woken up together. I'd opened my eyes thinking how right it felt to have another lad's arms wrapped around me and even how sexy it was to feel his semi-chocka poking into my bum. I figured there was no way that waking up with a girl could feel this good - well, defo not for me - and the gentle pressure of Jake's stiffening mongrel pushing between my cheeks started my own cock firming up underneath the doona.
My cousin reached down and felt my morning wood getting steadily harder and chuckled into my ear, "Morning, bud!"
His own cock grew more solid too and he slid it gently up and down the tight crack between my bubble cheeks. I smiled and said, "Feels like you wake up as horny as I do, cuz!"
As his organ swelled bigger and harder, he pulled the thickening shaft out from my arse-crack and wanked it a couple of times to get it to full stiffness. Then he directed it outwards, pointing it towards my crack, and pushed its broad head into it - low down, just above where the curve of my cheeks met the tops of my thighs.
He knew what he was doing and that that was where a guy's pucker would be lurking because I felt him smile once he felt the tight ring of my arsehole with his helmet. I smiled too and relaxed my opening like I was about to take a dump so that my clamped little tootie widened and dilated to nibble moistly around the tip of his cock.
He chuckled at how I was letting him start to bum me and pushed his dick in a bit further so that maybe an inch of it was inside my arse.
"Do you like that?" he whispered. His breath was even hotter than his bell-end.
"Feel my dick," I gasped. "I reckon it'll let you know..."
He reached back down and found that my pecker was now fully engorged and he chuckled again as he wrapped his fingers around my shaft.
"Can I push it in properly?" he asked, slowly wanking his hand up and down my pulsing boner. "We can just lie here like this... my cock sliding gently in and out of your hole..."
"I don't know if I'm ready for that yet, Jake," I told him. "I mean that's, like... you know... proper sex, dude!"
"Don't worry - we'll take it nice and slow," he urged me. "I'll roll you onto your tummy and I'll gently squeeze myself inside you at whatever pace you're comfortable with..."
"I dunno, Jake..."
"And then when you know you enjoy it and you're ready to take it up a notch... you can stick your bum up on all-fours and I'll kneel behind you, fucking you nice and hard!"
I was feeling tempted - God knows how much I was - but I wanted my first time to be better than this. More significant, perhaps.
"And you know what we'll do then?" Jake went on, and I could feel from the way his cock head was throbbing inside my tush how aroused he was getting. "We'll change places so I'm in front of you, and then you can dude-fuck me even faster and rougher! My arse can take whatever you can give it, bud...!"
He kept sliding his hand up and down my big doofed-up dork and he could tell I was hugely turned on by the thought of us going at each other's chuffs. It would be awesome to feel his massive wang up inside me and, while I wasn't so keen to work my dick up his arse, it would still be pretty cool to see how it felt to fuck another guy up his cute, muscular butt.
"You know, Jake," I said, "I really want it... I want it so fuckin' bad, mate... but not like this... I want it more, I dunno... special..."
I'd expected him to snort with laughter at my sentimentality, but he surprised me by nodding against my neck and agreeing that we'd pick a better moment for our first time to be so intimate. He must have known that for me this was a matter of me losing my virginity and he wasn't going to pressure me to rush into something so important.
Instead he said brightly, "Okay, then, Shaney boy... how about a nice sloppy sixty-nine to start our Friday morning?"
I'd readily agreed and we'd thrown the doona off us as we positioned ourselves so we could eat each other's cocks. Jake told me how to lie out, with my knees bent and my feet almost touching his pillow, while he lowered himself down on top of me so that his huge throbbing manhood was hovering over my face.
"How do I do it, Jake?" I asked him.
He chortled over at me, his face level with the big swollen plum-head of my own rock hard manhood. "It's called cock sucking, bud! Does it really need explaining?" he asked.
"It's also called a blowie, at least it is in Brissy! So do suck it or blow it, or what?!"
"Just put your mouth around the head of it," he smiled. "Squeeze it with your lips and gently suck. If you feel it wither against your tongue, you're doing it wrong. If it gets harder, keep doing whatever it is you're doing!"
I smiled back at him, loving the way his grinning face was so close to the fat rod of my tool. He smirked more broadly - he was probably thinking the same about my face being right next to his own massive sconge as it hung stiffly in mid-air.
"Sounds pretty easy!" I chuckled.
"Yeah, it's not like eating a girl where you have to be careful which part you lick and how hard to press your tongue and all that shit!"
I looked at his cock, straining to enter my mouth with goo dribbling from the slit at how excited he was. It did look pretty easy to please and I figured I'd just treat it like my own, doing stuff with his stiffie that I thought would feel nice to have done to mine.
I opened wide to get my mouth around the huge plum of his head and then I finally got to taste the incredible flavour of another boy's slit juice. It was similar to the rich, locker-room musk I'd sniffed on Jake's boxers and between the cheeks of his butt, but now it was dribbling onto my tongue from where it oozed from his thin opening. I sucked at it hungrily, loving how the manly odour I'd enjoyed so much was now in liquid form for me to feed on and swallow.
"Ah yeah!" Jake encouraged me before he leaned forwards to engulf my own fully raised up organ. "That's it, mate, drink my drool down! Suckle on it!"
I felt his lips and mouth around the top few inches of my cock and he started slurping up and down it, using his tongue to coax the same exquisitely tasting fluid from my broad helmet as I was eagerly sucking from his.
Having Jake feasting on my big pecker was way better than I might ever have hoped. The sensation of his lips squeezing and kneading my shaft was intense, and the feel of his tongue sliding across my bell-end as he sucked it made me gasp and shudder.
I was so pleased it was another guy who was giving me my first blowie. With a girl I might have been freaked out by how my cock might taste cheesy or my pubes might stink too sweaty with her nose so close to them. But with Jake being a dude, he'd know full well what tastes and smells to expect around another lad's junk, and the way he was getting stuck right in to eat as much of my length as he could showed that, however I smelled and tasted down there, he liked what he found!
Soon we were in full thrusting swing together, merrily slurping on each other and swallowing oozing precum. Sixty-nining had never been a position I'd been very interested in - whatever the genders of the two people doing it - but once Jake and I were really going for it together, working so hard to pleasure each other's chubs with our mouths, I could appreciate how totally awesome it was to suck a guy's cock while having him feed on yours.
Now that his dad, my Uncle Rob, had brought in our glasses of orange juice and put them down on Jake's desk, he remained standing alongside the bed as we pounded our faces up and down each other's swollen girths. I kept thinking he'd leave us to eat each other off in private and yet he kept hovering there, seemingly reluctant to take his eyes away from his son and his eighteen-year-old nephew, both naked and bucking our hips into spit-flinging lips.
I looked up at his face so that our eyes met and he smiled. There was no sense of embarrassment or surprise in his expression and he certainly didn't look uncomfortable to be purving on our sex so brazenly. Instead, he seemed quite proud to be standing over us, watching his two 'boys' as he called us eagerly consuming each other's large manly cocks.
I lowered my eyes down his body and saw that his pyjama bottoms were tented very graphically upwards. He'd grown his own big hard-on from watching his two boys sixty-nining together, and when he saw that I'd noticed it he smiled more broadly as if pleased to show me how prominently aroused he was.
I wondered how I would have felt if I'd agreed to Jake's request to fuck me up the butt and Uncle Rob had walked in on us with our orange juice and caught me losing my virginity. Would I have just smiled across at him while his son was behind me ramming his cock in and out of my rookie arse? Maybe say a pleasant 'good morning' as my bowels received their very first taste of buggery? Or would I have just ignored him and kept facing forwards, trying not to blush, with my cock raised up on full wood as I felt my arsehole being stretched to an almost unimaginable size?
Or what if he had walked in on me slamming my chub back and forth between his son's big, solid buttocks? I expect Jake would have guffawed, maybe even squeezed out a fart around my cock to welcome his old man into the room. I'd have probably felt more embarrassed, I reckon, but as long as Uncle Rob had seemed okay to see his nephew rooting away at his son's well-bummed arsehole, I think I'd have kept thrusting and let him enjoy watching me have my first taste of fucking.
Uncle Rob walked over to where I was lying and squatted down alongside Jake's double bed. The crotch of his pyjama bottoms were pulled upwards into a wigwam by his large erection and there was a large wet patch on the paisley-patterned material where the blunt head of it was leaking goop.
I peered up at his face, mine wide-eyed as Jake's thick solid cock slammed rapidly in and out of my slobbering mouth, and he smiled warmly at me, as though pleased to witness me giving oral pleasure to his son's massive phallus.
He said, "Use your tongue more, Shane. Stimulate the back of his helmet while you fellate the shaft."
I managed to smile at him, even with his son's huge girth straining my lips apart, and tried to put into practice what he was suggesting to improve my technique. Jake groaned in approval and his hips thrust still more frenetically back and forth against my face, so I lapped eagerly at his fat bell-end, making it dribble and gush all over the back of my throat.
Uncle Rob grinned at his son's enthusiastic reaction and instructed me to grab Jake's backside with both hands as I carried on sucking furiously at his cock. Obediently, I moved my hands around from where they were holding Jake's hips to cup his two ample buns.
"Ah, yes... that's it!" Uncle Rob laughed. "Now work your fingers into his hairy furrow. No, don't try and look at what you're doing... focus your face completely on stimulating his penis with your mouth..."
I did as he was telling me, enjoying following his directives, hoping I could make my blowjob as proficient as Jake's. Even if I never did anything like this with another guy in my life, it was fun to be playing around and getting sexy with my cousin and even more fun that Uncle Rob was willing to help us along.
Having said that, though, I suspected that getting sexy with other dudes was going to be something I did a lot more of in future. Having a big cock jabbing in and out of my throat, dribbling its thick salty liquid all over my tongue, was proving to be far more exciting than I might ever have imagined and I'd have felt very disappointed if I'd thought Jake's might be both the first and last guy I'd do it with.
Having another guy's mouth around my own long thick woodie was also feeling really hot and exciting. Dudes weren't meant to do this to each other - what the hell would my dad say?! - and it made my cock swell bigger and harder to think of how totally out-of-the-rulebook the two of us were being.
"Okay, now find his anus with your two middle fingers," Uncle Rob said. "Work them around its big puckered ring... tease the opening in the middle with your fingertips."
I pushed my fingers further into the wiry fur inside his crack and found the large wrinkled mound of my cousin's over-used fudgepack. I circled it like Uncle Rob had told me to and then pressed firmly against the puffy ring of muscle my tongue had already explored.
Jake moaned against my cock - I could feel the low hum of it - and his own fat shaft stiffened like granite, its big knotty veins grating roughly against my lips as he pounded it through them.
"Ah yeah... that's lovely... now slide one of your fingers all the way into his hot sticky hole..."
But before I could do that, Jake's massive cock-head started filling my mouth up with surge after surge of his hot salty cream. I struggled to gulp it down, even with Uncle Rob urging me on, and it started squirting out from between my lips, splattering my cheeks and chin with its white, sticky mess.
Uncle Rob chortled, "You'll have to learn to swallow a lot faster than that, young man!"
I smiled broadly, even as Jake's huge phallus pollinated my mouth, and felt thick dribbles of his seed trickling into my ears and onto my neck.
Jake pulled his face from my cock which was quite a relief because when he'd been cumming he'd let his teeth get a bit carried away. Then he pushed himself upright and swivelled around over my chest, before plunging his round muscly arse-cheeks down onto my cum-splashed face.
"Oh, Jake, really!" his dad said. "Couldn't you have at least returned the favour and fellated him to climax?"
"Believe me... he loves this!" Jake gasped, still recovering his breath. "It'll bring him off for sure!"
"When he said he wanted to see the whole of England, I don't think he quite had this in mind!"
Jake grabbed the back of my head with one hand and pushed my nose and mouth into the coarse thicket inside his arse-crack. He called down, "Come on, buddy... lick my cum dumpster!" and I reached up with my tongue to taste his hot, slimy pucker.
He reached for my cock and started wanking me off and I gasped into his gaping butt-hole at how intense it felt to be to be licking my cousin's squidgy pooper while his hand rubbed up and down my throbbing schlong.
Just then I felt another hand pushing between my legs, the deft fingers snaking through my own curly crack-hair.
Another hand? How was that possible? Jake had one on the back of my head, pushing my face into his tush, and the other wrapped around my wet cock, sliding the length of it with a firm, rapid rhythm.
So whose was the third hand?
With my face held firm between Jake's vice-like buttocks, I couldn't look around to see what was going on between my legs. I could feel someone's fingers, groping between my cheeks and then finding my tight little shitter, and then Uncle Rob say, "His orifice is certainly a lot smaller than yours, Jake!"
Jesus Christ! Uncle Rob was touching my bunghole!
Jake chortled back, "Come on, dad... with the size of mine, that's kind of a given!"
Uncle Rob's fingers kept groping, circling my well-clenched sphincter, and he said, "It's a little swollen, though. Have you boys been anally copulating with each other after lights-out?"
Anally copulating! Trust Uncle Rob to come up with such a lame way of putting it!
"Not yet," Jake told him. "I've pushed my dick up against it... even got an inch of it in... but he won't let me go further until that certain special moment."
"Won't he, indeed?!" Uncle Rob chuckled. "And they say romance is dead!"
I wanted to say, "Hey, I'm in the room, guys!" but I couldn't because my mouth was squished so tightly between Jake's powerful bum-cheeks.
Then Uncle Rob worked his finger right up my dookie and started sliding it rapidly in and out like he was fingering a girl. Once I'd got over the initial shock of having this older guy frigging my butt, I have to admit that the sensation was incredible. I could feel waves of shivers running up my spine and I opened my legs wider to let him pump his finger faster and deeper in and out of my arse.
"D'ya need lube?" I heard Jake mutter to his dad.
"No," he replied. "He's quite... er... sloppy inside!"
Jake cackled and then started pounding more roughly at my dick. It was totally unlike any sex I'd had before, feeling my cock and my arsehole getting wanked off together. I was in heaven and, what with my cousin's tight bunghole in my face, I knew I wasn't going to last long before I started spooging.
"Aw yeah, I can smell it!" Jake said quietly as his dad added a second finger to pound in and out of my arsehole the way he probably frigged his girlfriend's pussy. "He's gonna be the sort of butt-fuck you keep smelling for days!"
Uncle Rob chuckled back, "When you guys finally do the deed, I venture that the whole neighbourhood is going to know about it."
I wasn't sure what they were talking about and I didn't much care. I was just loving the feel of Jake gripping my dick and roughly jerking my foreskin as his dad drove his fingers more quickly and forcefully back and forth inside me. I was having my arsehole frigged off like a girl gets her pussy fingered, and for some reason I was loving it!
He increased his fingers to three which made Jake call out, "Aw fuck that's grim!" and laugh hysterically. I heard Uncle Rob say, "It's always the quiet ones who most surprise you!" And I heard a low whimpering moaning that I realised was me.
When my spunk started shooting I thought the relentless spurts of it were never going to ease off. I shot buckets of the stuff all over my chest and belly, making Jake keep chortling with laughter at the big puddles of white goop it made on my skin.
He pulled off me so I could finally breathe the air of the room again but instead of the air smelling sweet after the hot sweaty gully my nose had been wedged inside, it smelled even stronger of butt, only more harsh and crook.
I sniffed at it curiously. "What's that stink?"
"He just fingered your fudge-hole, dude!" Jake guffawed. "What do you think the stink is?"
"Oh my god!" I said, feeling my face blush scarlet as I looked at Uncle Rob. "Is that the smell from my butt?"
He smiled at me, passing a wad of tissue to me to mop up the pools of spoo from my front and then grabbed some for himself to wipe off his thickly smeared fingers.
"I told you the other night, Shane," he soothed, "anal penetration brings with it a certain... distinctive odour..."
"I didn't know you meant it stunk like the back of a bloke's skanky derps," I told him.
"I wouldn't put it so crudely," he said, passing me more tissue when I'd soaked through the first batch. "It's just a rather pungent smell that anal sex can sometimes bring and if you start indulging regularly it'll be something you get used to. Given time, its rather bracing aroma can develop very pleasant associations."
"It's bloody gritter," I declared, sniffing the air again to confirm it. "If you or another dude made a stink like that in the middle of playing around, it'd be a total turn-off."
Uncle Rob smiled and stood up, flaunting his large erection which was still stretching his pyjama bottoms comically outwards. "It doesn't seem to have had that effect on me, Shane! Quite the reverse!"
He went to leave the room, his peaked pyjama front cleaving the air in front of him like a snow plough, and Jake called back to him, "Make sure you wash your hands before making breakfast... we don't want our corn flakes to come with extra fibre!"
Uncle Rob turned and chuckled, gesturing at his enormous endowment, "I think I'd better attend to this first since we're heading out for the day."
When he'd gone back to his room and the sounds coming from the open door made it quite clear that my uncle was vigorously masturbating, Jake and I piled into the bathroom to clean ourselves up. Standing in front of the mirror over the sink, I could see that my cheeks were still blushing deeply. I said, "God, Jake... that was just so embarrassing! Having your dad finger my doodie just about stunk out your bedroom!"
Jake just shrugged as he directed a thick stream of piss noisily into the toilet. "What can I say? Shit happens."
"So when two dudes have sex it makes the room smell... you know... really bummy?" I asked, dabbing some Clearskin on some spots that had started reddening my skin in the night.
"Sometimes," he nodded. He held his cock firmly to force it downwards as it was still semi-hard from where I'd sucked it off. "Depends on the guy... some guys just have whiffy butts..."
"So if we'd gone the whole way, like you wanted to, it might have made a really strong stink?"
"Probably," he shrugged again, the stream of his piss starting to weaken. "Like dad said, you get used it... it kinda gets to be part of what makes it horny."
"So if your dad had walked in on us and we'd been... you know... doing something that's supposed to be kinda special..."
He grinned and said, "I so wish we had been... the look he'd have had on his face...!"
"But if we'd have been going the whole way... no matter how beautiful it was supposed to be... all he'd have been able to smell would have been the stink from my butt havin' your dick tear one off up it..."
"Believe me, mate," he chuckled, shaking the last dribbles of piss from his cock, "he'd have smelled it a lot sooner than that!"
I suddenly realised what their conversation had been about while they'd been working my cock and bunghole with father and son co-ordination.
"Oh God! Is that what your dad meant... that my arse would've stunk out the whole neighbourhood!"
He laughed at that and came over to put his arm around me. "Like dad said, it becomes a good smell... the smell of two guys having pleasure together... a lovely, rich intimate smell... totally fucking horny, actually!"
"Really?" I asked, struggling to believe that could be true.
"Of course," he smiled. "When you fuck a girl, her minge gives off a really sweet, sexy odour... when you fuck a boy... well, I'm not gonna say it's sweet... but the smell of your sweat, of your two big cocks... and, yeah, of a butt getting fudge-packed, can be even more hot and amazing!"
I wasn't sure and my face said I wasn't. I'd wanted our sex, when it happened, to be passionate and sensual; not rough and dirty and stinking like a barnyard.
"Don't sweat it, dude!" he chuckled. "If you decide you wanna give it a go, I promise it'll be awesome! Even if it stinks to high fuck, you'll totally love it, cuz!"
"What about you, though?" I asked. "What if you're disgusted?"
"Believe me, if you'd have let me do your arse for proper and it had stunk like that, it would have turned me on so fucking much!"
"It would have?" I asked him. "Even if your dad had walked in?"
"Especially if my dad had walked in! It's the smell of dude sex, Shane - it's something you get when two guys are hot for each other and it's something to be proud of!"
I nodded, trying to look reassured and he kissed my ear before walking back over to the toilet. He put the seat down, plonked his arse down on it and looked like he was about to take his morning crap.
I'd had enough stink for one day so I left him to it, heading out of the bathroom and closing the door behind me.
As I walked across the hallway, the noisy rhythm from his dad's room suggested he was near to reaching his self-induced climax. I smiled and crept along the corridor to have a sly purve around his bedroom door. When I saw him squatting there, raised upright on his bed in full masturbatory splendour, I gasped at how magnificent he looked. My uncle's hand was pounding up and down his thick solid manhood in a relentless blur of motion, his foreskin being yanked back and forth across its engorged purple helmet. As I watched, his huge pair of cods started twitching where they were hanging down between his legs and the spunk that had given rise to Jake as a baby abruptly flung upwards in thick white ropes from his fish-mouth slit.
And it was only then that I noticed that his other hand - the one with the crud-smeared fingers that had been up my butt - was raised to his nose and he was frantically inhaling at its stink.
Uncle Rob drove us over to Rockingham Castle and the three of us walked around the grounds before exploring the inside.
Jake seemed bored and said he was going to the coffee shop to see if they had wifi, so I took a walk around the castle gardens with his dad.
Once we were alone Uncle Rob said, "Are you okay about what we did this morning... did you enjoy having me anally masturbate you, I mean?"
I smiled, "I loved it... at least I did until I realised the smell my butt had made in front of you guys..."
He smiled back. "I knew that had embarrassed you very deeply, Shane. But it shouldn't... these things happen sometimes and it's part of sharing intimacy with someone."
"I don't want that, though," I told him. "If I decide to let another boy make love to me, I don't want it to stink like... well, like it smelled this morning..."
"But that was your smell, Shane, and that made it special. It was a deeply personal smell, I'll grant you that, but allowing Jake and I to share something so private to you made the moment so much more intense for all of us... me included."
I decided to come clean about what I'd seen him doing. "Is that why you were sniffing the fingers that had been up inside me when you were beating off afterwards?"
"Absolutely," Uncle Rob nodded with a smile. "I'm glad you saw that, Shane... I wanted you to. I wanted to show you how arousing the smell of anal penetration can be... I was hoping that my actions would be rather more convincing than my words."
I smiled back. "You've smelled that smell before, then?"
"Yes of course," he nodded. "Many times."
"Jake brings guys back from uni with him, doesn't he? Does it smell like that when they... you know...?"
"Indulge each other anally?" Uncle Rob asked with a smile.
"Yeah," I nodded. "Do they make that smell when they're rootin' each other?"
"Sometimes, yes. His favourite buddy is a young man called Marcus who comes stay with us quite often. When they're together in Jake's bedroom I can always tell when they're having anal - quite often even while I'm downstairs!"
"Wow!" I laughed, finally starting to relax about the bummy whiff I'd given off now that I knew I wasn't the only dude who had a stinky arse.
"Between you and me, Shane," he said in a low voice, "with most of the young men Jake brings home with him, I can usually tell which way around they've positioned themselves to have intercourse together. My son has a distinctively pungent anal scent and it soon becomes obvious whose penis is driving in and out of whose back passage!"
I laughed even louder at that. I could imagine my uncle standing at the bottom of his stairs, keenly inhaling the smell of butt sex wafting down from above. He'd be thinking, "Ah yes, today is Jake's turn to anally copulate with his friend!" and perhaps would allow himself a few more inquisitive sniffs of the other boy's rear being frantically piston-pummelled by his son's big chub.
We paused at some big plant or other, pretending to read the Latin name on the little plaque in front of it, and I asked him, "Are you okay with Jake bringing dudes home for sex?"
"Okay with it?" Uncle Rob smiled. "I'm actually very proud that Jake is so comfortable with his sexuality that he enjoys playing around with other boys as well as dating Ellie, the girl I know he's getting quite fond of."
I smiled back at him - loving his permissive attitude about who his son hooked up with. At home, my dad would blush and stammer if two dudes so much as kissed on some show on the telly. I could imagine Uncle Rob smiling over at Jake and this dude Marcus if they were making out together right next to him on the settee.
He gestured at a bench a little further down the path we were on, and we walked over to it.
"The thing is, Uncle Rob," I went on, once we were sitting side-by-side, "if I were to play around a bit with Jake... and you wouldn't think that was weird, would you...?"
"Not at all," he smiled, patting my leg. "It's perfectly natural for cousins to experiment together."
"Well, if we were to do it, I'd want it to be nice and sexy... sort of special for us both. Not like... well..."
"Two sailors bumming and stinking the mess-deck out?" he suggested.
"I guess..." I flinched, both surprised by his language and that he would have such a specific scenario worked through as an example.
"I think given time and once you're a little more experienced, you'll grow less embarrassed and accept that smelly sex can be a lot of fun too!"
"Maybe," I nodded, "I'd just like my first time to be nice and after what happened this morning I'm scared that it'll turn out gross."
"Well, look," he said, "I've texted Guy and he's staying over with me this evening. You might end up agreeing that the scent of anal intercourse can be extremely arousing."
I had no idea what the hell he was on about. I just stared at him and he attempted to explain: "The man you met the other day... Guy Leeson..."
"I remember Guy... I just don't know what you mean about anal intercourse..."
"Guy will probably want to mount me after bedtime. He usually does after we've had a couple of drinks."
"Mount you?" I asked. Was I getting this right?
"Yes, that's usually how we end our Friday evenings," he nodded. "I'll leave my bedroom door open so you might be able to smell us having relations."
"Guy will... er... have sex with you?"
"It's not certain," he shrugged like this was a totally unremarkable thing to be telling me. "But when he comes to stay over and he's had a few beers, he usually likes to discharge his... er... tensions before we sleep."
"But I thought you were dating Debbie?" I asked.
"I am," he said back, his eyes frowning, confused.
"But you're shagging Guy too?"
"And a number of other men, when such opportunities arise."
"Really?" I asked him, not quite believing what I was hearing.
"Yes really," he smiled. "I'm quite the slut!"
"Is that why you wanked off sniffing the fingers that had been up my butt?"
"Of course," he chuckled. "I told you in Jake's bedroom that for me anal smells have acquired many pleasant associations."
I thought for a few moments about this revelation and then asked, "So how did you get started, Uncle Rob? Did you like the way Jake has so much fun with dudes and start hooking up with other men in the same kind of way?"
"Absolutely not," he laughed. "If anything, Jake was inspired by me. Several years ago, I discovered that sex with men could be hugely satisfying in a very different way from the sex I still enjoy with women. So I started bringing men home for intimacy - those who, like me, are out for no-strings fun."
"And Jake followed his old man's example?"
"Probably the only time in his life he ever has!" he grinned.
Just then Jake himself appeared from around one of the manicured hedges and announced that they didn't even know what wifi was in the castle coffee shop.
"The two old women in there thought I was asking something about my wife," he said. "When I told them what wifi was, they just smiled at each other like I was making it up."
As the three of us were walking back towards the buildings, I remarked to Jake, "You didn't tell me that your dad hooks up with dudes like you do."
"Not up to me to tell you stuff like that, Shaney boy," he shrugged. "But the fact he let you dildo his butt might have given you a clue that he isn't as straight-laced as he looks!"
"I'm actually glad I mentioned it to him," Uncle Rob said. "Guy's coming over tonight and it might have given Shane rather a shock to hear the two of us heaving away in my bedroom."
Jake grinned over at me. "Would you have snuck along for a sly peek, like you did the other night when you heard dad wazzing off?"
"I reckon so," I laughed. "I still might..."
Uncle Rob smirked at me and Jake chortled.
"I mean... you know... if you wouldn't mind, Uncle Rob?" I added.
"You'd be very welcome to," my uncle replied. "I told you I'll leave my bedroom door open and I would see it as instructive to let you watch two men being intimate."
I smiled back at him and Jake grinned too. Tonight's visit from Guy was going to be far more interesting than I could have known.