Flirting with the sexy plumber

As happens in old houses, the boiler died in the middle of winter so we had a crew of plumbers come around to install a new one.

They had to do it in stages and then of course the new one had to be ordered etc.

The first guy that came was super nice but we were disappointed because with this particular company, one of the plumbers is just a yummy man and we were hoping it would be him. Alas.

Fast forward a few days and the company calls me says that our yummy plumber would be there tomorrow at 8am to install.

I was genuinely excited for a chore that would normally put me in a grumpy mood.

But there would be no grumpiness with this guy.

Mid-30s, Blond, 5’9”, pale skin, tattoos just visible out from the sleeves of his tight fitting polo emblazoned with his company logo. Bit of blond scruff on his face but otherwise, very clean shaven and a sexy muscle boy.

As he set about the instal, we got to chatting over coffee.

He used to live nearby, moved to a smaller village.

Wife and he are divorced, she has the son with her 3 hours away, son comes every other weekend etc.

We bantered along as he spent most of the time on all fours in the cupboard where the boiler lived.

“How long you guys been married?” He asked.

“We’re celebrating 25 years this year.”

“Wow, good for you man, funny to think that you’ll have been married longer than you’d spend in jail for manslaughter.”

I got a serious case of the giggles over that comment.

“So whats it like being gay?”

“Uhm what do you mean?”

“Yeah,” he laughed, “I don’t know what I mean, just curious I guess, not trying to be offensive.”

“No offence, well, let me think, being gay does have its advantages.”

“Oh yeah, like what?

“Well, if you like sucking cock, being gay is really convenient.”

He laughed so violently at the comment that he banged his hard on the top of the cupboard and let out a loud “SHIT!”

As he tinkered he mumbled “if you like sucking cock,” and then he’d laugh.

“Man, that cracked me up. What else is convenient about being gay?”

“Well, aside from dressing fabulously, and having fantastic taste, if you’re a fan of taking it up the ass, again, being gay is really handy.”

He was laughing again, “whats the saying? Membership has its privileges?”

“Sure does!” I replied.

“I don’t know many gay people to be honest.”

“We’re very nice and pretty much normal.”

“Yeah, you’re cool man. So what do you fancy in a man? How do you know that a guy is the one for you.”

I could have just held up a mirror, pointed it at him and shown him exactly what turns me on but instead I verbally did an inventory of him standing in my kitchen describing pretty much every sexy detail I could see of him.

He was no idiot and he quickly caught on that I was just rattling off features of himself and being so pale, it was pretty obvious that he blushing at my rather complimentary description of what in my mind constitutes a hot man.

“Gosh, he sounds perfect”,” he chuckled, “what else?”

“Oh, they have to have a nice perky butt and look amazing in trade scruffs (those pants with all the pockets commonly worn by contractors).

“Yeah? How about this?” He asked turning around to show me his ass.

Now, I had been sitting on a stool in the kitchen most of the morning admiring his ass and already determined this stud had a great ass and the way the scruffs hugged it left little to the imagination.

“Oh yes” I said making a scrunchy face, “You do those scruffs proud.”

“My wife, she’s a total bitch, but she always said I had a nice ass too.”

“She might be a bitch, but she knows a good thing. So how about you? What kind of guys do you like?” I smirked knowing full well that he wasn’t gay.

He was taking a sip of coffee and snorted out a mouthful when I asked the question.

“No man, I’m into chicks, like me some titties and ass, but I guess if I weren’t, I’d probably go for a fit, educated, professional type with a big white smile and even a little bit of a geeky side to him, glasses and all that.”

it took me a second to realise that he was detailing me in the same way I had done him.

I was the one now blushing.

“Oh shush, you’re too kind” I said.

I think he was quite pleased with how clever he was there and giggled a bit while giving me a wink.

“Never been with a man in that way, saw and heard some stuff when I was in college, not saying i wouldn’t have, honestly, never felt there was a moment in time where it would happen, you know what I mean?”

“I do, when it’s right, it just happens.”

“I suppose in some ways, its better guy on guy, I mean, a guy knows how his own dick feels so he’d be better at head and shit, you know?”

“I suppose, but then again, I have been with a few guys who couldn’t suck dick to save their lives.”

“Yeah,” he was giggling again, “‘I’ve had a few birds that left marks.”

“Birds, that is the funniest expression.”

“It always reminds me of my grandad, he called every female either love or bird.”

“A bird in hand is worth two in the bush, is that where that comes from man.”

“Nah mate, that’s called a threesome.”

We both laughed our asses off at that.

“Oh that was very clever” I teased.

We continued our little banter, telling each other all sorts of things.

“Oh man, didn’t it fuckin’ hurt?” he asked when I told him about losing my virginity to a big dicked black guy during University.

“Bloody right it fuckin’ hurt, the guy had a huge dick!” I said back laughing.

Not sure why but we just kept sharing things like this back and forth.

When he was telling me about his first time, just the way he described sticking his dick into his girl’s pussy, I couldn’t help but imagine that scene.

“What’s your favourite part about gay sex man?”

“Well, I like pretty much all of it, but there is something very sexual to me in being a bit on the submissive side and being bred.”

“Bread? What do you mean, is that like being sandwiched between two men?”

I laughed at this, shaking my head, “no, bred, b-r-e-d, in the gay sense, it usually implies no condom and you’re fucked full of cum.”

“Ah gotcha, I like shooting my load into a hot pussy myself, guess I breed them too.”

“So you’re more of a bottom then, and like a dominant top?” He asked.

“Totally versatile, have a big dick and a nice ass so figure why not use both right?

“True dat man.”

“But I also have a thing for really big cumshots. Just so fucking hot when I guy blasts a big load all over a guy’s face and then feeds it to him.”

“Ok, now you’re being way too graphic” he jokingly said putting his hands up to say “stop.”

“Oh yeah, that crossed the line? Not you describing putting your dick into a pussy?”

We laughed some more over this.

Now this whole time he had been working away and as the laughter subsided, he backs out of the cupboard and cheerfully announces, “Well thats that mate, all done!”

“Awesome, that didn’t take as long as you thought, great work.”

“Yeah, no, helps to have the banter to be honest, makes it go quicker.”

“But my house isn’t going to blow up because I distracted you is it.”

“Nah,” he said playfully punching my shoulder, “but do me a favour?”

“Yeah, what?”

“Just call me if the house blows up ok?”

We laughed some more over this and I walked him out to the gate.

I don’t know why I didn’t try anything with him but later that day, as I remembered the chat with him, I jerked off to some straight porn and imagined the guy in the film as my sexy plumber fucking his bird.

Maybe I’ll have another plumbing emergency and see how far his curiosity will go?